Episode
Episode: 66 – Frequently I Am A Woman In My Dreams
Description
Mayor Harmon has got nothing. This prompts Kumail and Erin to join the stage for some dream interpretation and penis trauma. In D&D, Sharpie dies.
Transcript
hello what am I welcome to melt down, the world-famous turn off theater Hermantown is once again session
oh yeah
don’t you walk into the cage the mayor of Highland town
yeah yeah yeah
thank you Jeff Davis our comptroller I was having health problems comptroller what a fantastic person and what a good group of people you are a great country this is God’s looking down smiling and hoping it keeps moving forward I got that I don’t have anything to talk about tonight I thought maybe I could stretch that into something maybe jingoism would be like taffy I could stretch it to the finish line but I don’t have that much in your boots brunch today that went straight to the drawing-room we just drank all day long and I took a nap I just like woke up and it was like 7:15 like geez Louise I had to take a little nap today too we did Branch this is my life we did we did we did branch and then I at least get it to brunch
like let’s go get a drink I’m still dehydrated right now I’m just a couple hours just to make sure the dog kind of but sometimes the dog is laying there and its crate and then I’ll come home and go like come on and get you I need to run you around the yard in the dog will be like what it what’s happening and I’ll wake it up specifically and then trotted around the yard and it’ll just start getting energized and I’ll put it back in the crate and it was a moment today
feels bad pancakes after having eating them like you like out
and then we had a bunch of beers and four nights at that little Dom’s never went down to the drawing-room and I overheard dancing like I can get an Uber car would you like a car service and he was talking about getting an Uber car from the drawing of to his house which is to drive my car drunk I gave you my car
how do you say drive my car drunk and puts a really fine point on it I I start picturing that in the TMZ’s in the Los Cielos and whenever I drove Jess car drunk I drove it up a tree and and there was a gypsy in Prometheus I press play on Prometheus
which I already seen the theater and I just fell asleep listening to it I just had these like like like shity prequel dreams dreams about like like people walking around going one day there there’s going to be a dream here
experiment because I got nothing to let’s let’s follow the I got nothing thread and end let’s let’s bring up our friends bring up Camille nanjiani
it’s a nice summer summer evening it isn’t nice summer evening and I got nothing
send me that’s what it said on the porch with me won’t you come out and have a nice talk Country Time living Rock back and forth in your chair and look out in the Starlet field and worry about minorities moving in
I’m sorry you don’t know that that’s what you do on a porch you’re not familiar with this with this tradition
I feel like I felt at 5 when I walk onto the porch I just kind of want to be like you know of outpost
these people could work harder
what is sit out there in the ghost watch the people walked by and go and give him a most subtle look back don’t you don’t don’t buy a place around here to Plantation like the colonial columns out front and rear light like a seersucker suit and a straw hat and drinking Mike’s lemonade is being racist
thanks Jeff why is it so much fun to be racist it simplifies life 12 kinds of people oh yeah I think there’s 13 now did they find a new planet or something what was
and then we kind of ignore this is weird
was it right I marry
remind married him in the car. I printed out the invitations in that room
but there is Liberation to primates look for patterns that weird looks like it was actually kind of easier just to be ordered all of this makes sense rather than order things that we call pagans the people that we call prehistoric they they still had order but otherwise we would even know they existed because they were they unlike the The Chimps and whatever they came before them they they think they were asked by God to think about shit with their little tiny monkey brains that are like this is a lot of shit to figure out
the fact that this guy is dead and that guy’s a lot but also the deer was alive and chooses when to come up and down sometimes it’s there sometimes it’s not when it’s not it gets cold but sometimes I feel like almost nothing makes sense and then you don’t know their business has no no black people
right now I got it 3 times it gives you a wish I try it I don’t know I wish for a sandwich okay there’s no sandwich when you know why cuz you didn’t even knock hard enough you didn’t have faith we occupy our brains with these systems that’s all you go to Las Vegas and you see these fields of what awesome crap tables know because craps are actually there closer to chaos than or scraps of the best bet in the house if you know how to play craps that’s actually the beat of the best way to actually make money if you want going to Vegas with money and if there’s any good way to make money The House Always Wins but the worst way of slot machines does a fixed percentage you’re going to lose but it’s the most appealing because you go up and you pull the lever in The Addams Family Guy says like
are you know what time I push the two buttons of the Triple Diamond comes up and I lost so many times in a row I know that I’m going to win now it is human slot machine spots in my shoes to take care of bike High Roller gas and stuff and we’re going through the MGM and she saw a woman sitting at one of the more popular slot machines at the MGM Lions spend all the money that it’s one machine if it’s a bank of machines like brand of again slot machine as a woman sitting at one of them and was a progressive
call you back money that comes up and she looked at the numbers that you got I want to go tell that woman to move one to the left cuz that one’s going to pay off soon I’m like wait what but she could tell she knows which ones are numbers and probability is not going to pay off today the one next to her will that’s crazy that just with numbers that a probability You can predict it okay if you don’t like the intestines of an animal more than a certain amount of steps in a row without running into a place to put money in something you cannot walk in a straight line from wasn’t like ten Paces anywhere you have
how to get got to be stopped by thing that you could put money in Sex in the City
look up a guy like you’re not in the Transformers Megatron and Galvatron feels like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, this is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes relate to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
play I’ve never been to Vegas is an awesome I’ve never been this episode
we’re floating through space in a green screen effect
Here Come Those neon signs time to land in Vegas yeah we’re landing on the Strip look around you there’s Circus Circus there’s a creme brulee
you guys are fly to Las Vegas from my Burbank on a Friday morning it is what it is you and 40 strippers all in like that they’re all fresh face and they got the boots on and it looking good ready to go and then you fly back on a on a Sunday afternoon and it’s just like the Cherokee Trail of Tears man and it’s just a bunch of parts of yourself that at all I was just I was just confused I thought he meant like they didn’t they didn’t hit the the motherlode time earlier this year and I was with
what do they make food
the fucking the strip club Buffet is where the artist fucking near that much mayonnaise
open
genitalia in Food Service where there are no women like with their crotches above the food you’re still warned a lot about how about how get out of the air around us is filled with all kinds of Beast he’s just looking for a for a perch Zone you know you got to keep icing that that coleslaw you’re going to ice that that that that don’t swell and having children black people again
maybe but but but but then to go in a strip club in like it’s all dark and there’s like a lady dancing to me
do you have to be in to her crotch to not grab something on the way in you know what they look like. At McDonald’s or something strip club
I have time for one stop LOL Health fill up there yeah we were there and I didn’t know how it works so they were like the boyfriend was at all right every time they do a song you have to go and give money so their eyes were not smiling but it don’t want to be that these strippers
what’s the saddest thing is they’re on the pole and when the shift changes the other woman has been coming like she has to she has a sanitized the full but they still trying to make like I think of it like while she’s cleaning the car wash the clown remind I recommend that you go how everybody is kind of the last stop and it’s like it’s it’s it’s druggie in there like it’s pretty like it does a lot of heroin addicts on that stage and one of the girls like it a little tiny place is very small you can buy a drink and tip the stage of the same time as really like it’s very little in there and don’t touch anything
lady who was a dude and it’s not big enough to swing a bowl with murdering husband’s used to work there in Safford
one husband all right I’m sorry I take that back if the one I like a rock star she would light a cigarette and then you don’t lose it was a little brass railing about a foot from going headlong into the crowd but it’s a little brass rail with the lit end out and then do a headstand so now he’s facing the crowd like like her for her facing away and pick up the cigarette with her ass cheeks then press back up and do smoke rings out of her ass she would like to I would like
he would go down to a frat boy in the front row and put it in Santana guys mouth
everyone has to be in the bathroom later on you got you know that’s a dude right like a
I thought I was I thought I thought I thought I was ingesting the fecal matter of a of a female stripper
not one that used to be a male be willing to share your pain are you willing to share it up here okay we don’t we don’t we don’t bully people it would you want to come up when you come up here I don’t know why people laughed at that I guess sometimes we did
what’s your name Miranda Harmon Harmon are you from the future
show me a picture of my daughter
don’t eat mangoes no My Family’s last name used to be hamburger hamburger hamburger hamburger hamburger hamburger hamburger
what what what are you from Germany did you did your family live in a Hamlet
my my grandparents on my mom’s side are German their last name my mom’s maiden name is reek r i e c k but it used to be pronounced right and they made it they made a strategic decision to alter the pronunciation of New Berlin it’s just a delightful little town great place to go if you get 5 man takes some some souvenirs New Berlin it was New Berlin at one point he can make that decision at some point you have to find the right thing that’s a crazy
how old is Maria a text to Matt close enough call me on that Miranda what’s your what’s your pain so I’m I don’t know what I want to do I’m 21 years old and I feel like I went to the wrong school and I feel like I have no idea where I feel like the only thing I know how to do is make things and be creative and I feel like that’s the only way they’re really how to connect to the world and so I’m worried I’m never going to be happy never happy you can actually make money creating things
thank you so much for exactly what to do and when to do it and they could sleep like babies at night everyone else is just like this is by the way this is the first time someone’s come up here with that particular pain white people problems you don’t know what to do you’re 21 you could you could you could I could hit you on the head with a bottle and you can be unconscious for eight years you would wake up and you’d still be ahead of schedule
make maybe that’s me being 40 is the new 11
do whatever you want if you’re here when your parents are means you have a support system so unlike a lot of people you can your job if you wanted me to creative has been kind of fuck around for a while so you went to the wrong school I went to a liberal arts college and it’s it’s lovely but then I decided to be like a cartoonist and animator Daffy Duck is sitting there
keep making us and I thought that by going to a liberal arts college I would want to be something else I would learn how to be like a doctor or a different I guess I don’t know why it’s my senior year and it turns out of silver in but there’s no animation program at my school and so now I’m kind of wondering what are you feeling the embarrassment of like I don’t know what to say what’s your dream job I don’t embarrass yourself I came against game way too big like a story for dinosaur adventure time
or a graphic novelist or something something where I get to draw they don’t pay much more than what you’re doing now
where you from are you living in my family and I are kind of taking a trip up there for Orlando School in Orlando right now to be in Baltimore at wonderful view of Hamsterdam
I’m really lucky I shouldn’t say the West Coast because you’re going to have a feeling you’re feeling West Coast eat about your your your future your college eventually yeah or where I live but your parents are cool enough that they’re just indulging this pilgrimage antennas what is her name
what are your parents names
wow a guy that looks like a like a like a crime crime sexy Sean Connery just perfect
dr. Connery super duper like perfect Sean Connery mixed it up in a denim shirt and flexed I mean there’s other bad news there too I’m just being an asshole and I say this but I haven’t cool parents another another nail in the coffin of creativity I think that’s the problem
it’s really good though. Yeah yeah yeah I hate your parents have to hate yourself you have to be an alcoholic have to do other stuff I’m just justifying myself and second off like you going to be in this great just great this way that you’re calling for years and after that you sort of have to create your own. You know like you don’t want to be the person who’s been doing the same thing for 10 years in the election I’m still where it was after college but you know what you want to do and you don’t I don’t think you need to go to school you guys can thank me later
I don’t think you need to go to a school you can just as plenty of really talented people here and you could go online and figure out how to do it and just start doing it you know and then see how it feels
I would say if you want to be a graphic novelist change your name to Miranda hamburger I’d buy that
I want to watch a cartoon created by Miranda hamburgers and then I want to find out I’m getting pretty tired of the word Harmon unstuffed
I just had to cuz we awaited harmonquest the last night and I’m not going to be the final title of what we did this D&D thing where Spencer D&D DM and we play and we’re going to animate it lately working title for cinefamily is harmonquest today is Italy realize Jesus Christ that’s great. I don’t think that they have to drink the Kool-Aid Smithy you act like that guy was a lot more people that are capable of liking me to you guys if you guys think of a good name for our animated campaign that we’re going to do we’re open to suggestion
those awesome let’s bring out the levels are in Magothy
hi hello I was born the new astrological sign is my new sign am I pronouncing it wrong what is it
I don’t go over to the rescue December 17th and I was born on December 5th so what’s the symbol of obvious because you’re writing a pool attendant constellation that the part of the sky that they don’t just make those up out of you know then are
good morning.
I think that being said that that myself when other people born during that time so it’s why the card thing and just say maybe but Charming whatever you want whatever you want yeah I was that terrible guy in high school that would read this crowd as a the Zodiac Zodiac things to people I would go what’s your sign and I would read a different one and then get them to go like it’s not you
thank you for telling them that is the bad part because otherwise it would just be for you but this is also why then I had a relationship with a girl who’s so interested in astrology was ridiculous and it was like it was such a it was a challenge at first cuz they come on but that overtime the way I cook of it is I would ever go well actually she’s coping with life a little better than me in a lot of new dress at a party and she would go like such a Gemini get upset even though she was not like the most noble of people
yeah you right that stink right cuz you’re not tied to any destination you guys can do whatever I have to do they tell people dream dictionary and then claim that I was able to interpret dreams your way there’s a certain where the doors are shed am I high school there was something I was like a Janitor’s Closet or something
Enclave Enclave how do you get the door didn’t open right now and you said and I would stand there that’s where I would intervention recess in the hallway in the wrong question
I just tried to get a visual idea cuz you said I picture of Lucy’s a from is peanuts a little The Doctor Is In little booth
opened or closed
there’s a place right now instead so I so tired did you did you feel qualified to do this did you feel like you had some sort of thing happening right now
who told you you had the right to do this shit
read a book or did you think that you’d have if you had the stuff is in a very sensitive person so a lot of it was my own feelings about the person I was talking to Dream Dictionary you can look at things like a piece of your teeth falling out the redheads Health which makes sense to
that there’s I think the reason why we think that there’s these Universal symbols is going to give me in a horse means this and teeth falling out mean that is because things like teeth falling out probably it does mean a lot of very similar things to most people but but the bottom line is like you go to bed and your your brain fires off like this random thing I just lightning bolts a grace through your synaptic Pathways and unlike when your conscious mind is in control that there is just it’s just sort of random Eco machine so there’s things that are on your mind and then there’s a random chaos so they can have these weird hallucinations that time is passing that you have an identity that your encountering other people that they’re their there a place as you’re going but was really happening as your brain is just like it started like the tide rolling in over a sandcastle kind of like just or or as I said lightning going through putting in a kind of music
Alta Drive that train into a mountain and then it exploded at that that that gave me the power to tell Bruce Willis to go fuck himself and go Bruce Willis means strength means to me he does in the hallway and the doorway on it
me just doing it casually like in passing at Atlanta but I was good at it and then just let it go so I really was pretending to be a therapist I guess in my own mind that I was it was legit but eventually there is such a high demand that I had to find a doorway to your other High School classmates because you’re an intuitive person I wasn’t official care counselor at my high school but no one ever came to me because they were adult counselors see where the peer counselor and you also with a dream interpreter
I read if I read a bunch of books about hypnosis and he had like this was all hip hypnotist will tell you that is no such thing as hypnotic state is just to open this to a suggestibility and stop and I used to go to parties at I’m at Corley and part of being in it like a hypnotizing people if you have someone else go up into the liar people that are open to that idea and I would walk up to people and is easy to forget things like it’s even think that you know like just took for instance like you know the answer to but you might not be able to tell me the answer you started waving her hands around a little bit and then start getting ready to be hypnotized
I think they would pretend to not know their names really like $300,000 or something like that if anybody could prove to him there was such a thing as a hypnotic State going to
Pasadena to the Ice House comedy club because my Armenian plumber neighbor had one one of those comedy contest where they pay for their house and they they they brought him a limo and said he’s like I got tickets to the Pasadena ice house Comedy Club
the motherfuker are we going to go and we were literally the only eight people in the Pasadena area and it wasn’t the comedian it was a hypnotist and I had seen these guys like they identical acts that came to my high school and stuff so what was happening so I spanked
being hypnotized about let me know they do a thing where they like hold your hands above your head and now you can’t put them down and I purposely didn’t put him down because I knew he needed somebody up there I went up there and sat in the chair I did 45 minutes with this guy where he would go like you’re a Chinese wrapper and I
I was just doing bad Improv
play music on other shit was like okay you’re naked now you’re naked like I thought I was up there for full 45 suit and like ask and suggesting that I there was like no different from ComedySportz except for a lot of key differences like when were the the gas that had her brought up and don’t look like a fucking dick
I bet that’s most of us have to say that the neighbors have gotten like what what what did you what was happening was it magical would you would you do remember anything it was like I remember I kind of saw you didn’t I felt like really relaxed and I sort of just wanted to do that anybody did this guy’s ass causes of dark darker than when I was rapping in Chinese
that was insane
back in the TMZ headlines have to be to pull that out not very second there was a babbling I said somebody asked me like basically the question was like don’t you think you could be more successful if you would shut up or something and I was some kind of Pharisee question
you know that. That helps me sleep at night and sometimes people can pull stuff out of contacts and then help them sell Bacardi ads and that’s fine too I accept that it was like the live-tweeting was like Dan Harmon blamed the media for his out-of-context quotations
doesn’t matter I don’t I don’t care all right so get him
don’t they do go downtown I’ll bring your satchel and your flannel jacket bring your beer.
Did you enjoy doing the show yesterday it was a culmination of all yeah I was I was freaking out telling your friends in the car on the way over I feel like I should play D&D with Dan Harmon and there that night I said is there a dungeon master here cuz I had this thing like what’s in the show Flash Forward to we played the Indian this show that we’re doing D&D and then stop animated thing that we’re recording and you come over to my house on Tuesday nights that’s what I was thinking yeah I was
could you have three D&D campaigns that I was texting Jeff Jeff things I’ve really been thinking about it did you think when you saw me you know like I know I’m probably going to be playing three separate games of dng with this person in the future like I could do for a man I’m not what I meant. Yeah yeah other games he played outside of our group of friends that are not know do you you know you do.
I’m tell you guys would you would you all we had to do before we spent
clock to pay yeah but there were eight different colors of laser bouncing around the room when we walk into a room in a maze of mirrors and there’s a big ball of light in the middle of this room if you can get to a different colored lasers that are reflecting all around the thing and you can if you reflect it back into the thing that comes out different colors and then he made a big white light that blasted a giant hole and then you’re fucking 3 hours power mirrors
Pizza paper to the list of the first dungeon snake and we can send me a snake or fed to go to recon mission could have been enough to not get hit by the lasers and we spent most of our Lives of the Roman a rock star died take a rock and I go poop and I throw it at the thing and then that was it felt bad for us okay because there was a little there’s a big mirror and then there’s a little side mirror on the on the on the wall that was that was directly facing the thing you can do for us out of that seem like a thing and then and then all of a sudden
maybe I like this isn’t entirely wrong I mean all time all of those mirrors were completely breakable with the condition that they were Enchanted in the charge would float up in life at you as you broke them but at the same time that’s how you get through but you know you were doing the red blue green lasers and you’re trying to get them at that same one that was the solution except you had them so they were separately him and all of you guys were holding up the mirrors but if you tweet them so they’re touching of the same spot and all the colors combined into white light that would also opened the door we were on the right kind of pass yeah and then you abandoned it and I was like I wasn’t
I’m having a tough time seeing this room in my head listen tough guy kind of episode of harmontown we’re fucking rolling up our sleeves we’re going to D&D the fuck out of the shit shit out
get your get your dice get your get your pencil
I’m not even that drunk yet dispenser your wish to like play D&D with Harmon came through in like a monkey’s paw kind of way
Dan Harmon get out of your character
many years old that means I did technically do it on purpose but
I move to the US and also is really really bad about it for like a week and then I had a dream and I don’t believe you know but he came in my dream and we talked and then I didn’t feel weird after that and my brain some part of my brain realized that’s what I needed to have happened in a dream to be able to move faster at so it’s not always like the random like sometimes it’s because our unconscious minds are absolutely containment units and Pathways to the things that you’re truly important so that’s why dreams that’s why we remember them at all because they totally resume like we wake up and go leash it
I don’t know other people are different but nine times out of ten when I wake up I don’t I don’t remember having dreamed it off and then other people like every night like Aaron’s like a junkie but I think the bottom line is that like if if if it if what happens in your unconscious mind resonates with your conscious mind me if this weird random can I like like Dragon’s Lair lightning path kind of like creates a pattern that that can mean something to your forebrain then when you wake up you go that’s weird that John Travolta attacked me with a pencil what does that mean anything but I think the stuff that’s Brewing down there is definitely absolutely important II there’s there’s a scientific and spiritual explanation for your dad coming to you and your dream or Grandpa coming
dreaming you resolving that I think it’s I think that’s a that’s a place where science and religion both totally overlap right grandpa. I’m doing a bit you were doing the dream interpreter a friend of mine came to me with a fake dream and I
reading the wrong horoscope he gave me this dream because this is too much power for one woman to have stopped standing with no one stand
turning this into a Walmart
interpreting his dream and then finding out that it wasn’t real made me never do it again okay we will you can you interpret a dream that I’ve had a couple times
oh my God because I wouldn’t go off on its own or with the dead it was like a I wish I was going to try to do this for real and what situation would have been a dream having a sex dream have lot of sex dream kind of James Bond in my dream has fights it’s talking and fighting at all times in my dream she looks like Jennifer Lawrence or whatever or are you making him up with somebody that kind of morph into someone else in stock
administering
Labyrinth like Fort Myers. Oh yeah me up on a bike started sucking my dick right at the bar and I was really bummed out
I’m doing I realized she has a dick it’s my dick
I’m sucking my dick on a girl and the whole time I think he’s going to come and I don’t want to come in my own mouth
you’re at your nervous about your taxes and you can recognize your own dick
is it wear a hat
I had a dream that has Calvin peeing on a vagina on a tattoo when I was when I was a teenager I had a dream I had where I was a woman and I was getting it from you I was in it I was in my kitchen sink and I was a woman
maybe I was a teenager I was seventeen at the height of my like
see I made that up I wanted to get into
I’m off in a woman in my dream, I was Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island I was I was getting fucked by the professor but the skipper
listen to your voicemail
and another time I was who is the daughter on Good Times Thelma Thelma I was telling how they do sexy daughter from good from Good Times and remembers that sick, and I was getting fucked by Jay so you were doing rule 34 stuff in your dreams what’s that exists there is a yeah I thought I was doing mileage from 34 of the internet if it exists there is part of it
dreams that feel like lame kind of Professor
I mean what is it from the top it’s just like a little pink Adam Goldberg’s I don’t know I wouldn’t go there that wasn’t yours
should I can take an effective if it was if it was half inside a very happy person
I be like that can’t be my dick
I would always recognize mine because I have a horrible zippers car drive from there something about Mary 12 or 13
were very repressed over there I want to actually I wasn’t wearing I just as the weird part of the story I didn’t wear underwear for 2013 when I start working I don’t know I don’t want to talk about it but yeah there’s just a lot to compare let’s go with that
and I want had just discovered masturbation and I was like fucking so into it I was doing it became this game like how quickly can I do it you know so I will try and like go for the record so this is like I think the fourth time I was doing what is the record right now but I bet it’s around like seven or eight seconds in a day I’ve masturbated okay
damn time yeah I’m not here to if you know podcast called Funland that was the name of it seems like a real life
seems like a trap to lure American Dad
I was like if I could get it before it’s time to go it’s not what that makes it harder than to come cuz I can hear my mom yelling at me so I finally I can see the 4th of welfare you got it done and I just slipped through my payment
and I rode roller coasters all day
play dang
wow
Emirates temperature can I get a penis that doesn’t my little brother’s penis in a gate
so many questions and I was a few years older than him I was a toddler I wanted to change his diaper to show my parents that I could change his diaper and I yanked off his clean diaper and he was running away from me and we had marble stairs and there is a baby gate at the top of the Marvel there’s the name of the stories of baby Gators
on his penis and he had to get stitches and he wiped it from his memory
good friends and a few years ago Camp Council that the same camp and like you were in the bathroom
are penises are in a alright alright well I’m glad I’m glad we got to this place cuz I think I felt like a as my own worst critic I thought the show started kind of flat and stale and inhuman I came up and said I had nothing we got two penises but their abuse of you guys are sitting on the real question real talk Camille Dan Spencer as you’re sitting up here at you you’re just sitting there like I am I am I am now
only when it only one and only wants to be random and when you’re like 11 12 years old that’s the thing that people don’t understand about a little boy just like it is just happening the plumbing is just like blame kids for like what are you doing and what are you thinking and what are you and said hey you probably not that Kids Choice
I was at my high school I was watching a lifeguard
if we’re lucky bodies like that moms like oh yeah good for Mommy
that real rigid in a little bit to have more first like if I was an elderly woman please don’t interrupt her
let this play out
continue playing all the parts full access
say continue tired
swimming swimming swimming
Javier dumps out of the pool
as I look down at his number which is fully erect
Chive
keep lashes and looks at Miss McAfee I miss McAfee says
this is a safe place
are you sure miss I guess I’m nervous I’m so embarrassed I saw you standing at the pool and you’re so smart
I was watching on YouTube by Sawyer eusebio real I saw you interacting with people it looks like you really listen
I have this direction I don’t know what to do with that I don’t know how that make it go away
Xavier come upstairs with me I’ll show you
five more minutes
can I talk to you about my dream
please don’t leave me alone you’re a freaking me out this week
take me back to school shopping
all right
grenade piano
anything weird ever happened to your penis Spencer yeah you know
it went places in a weird thing things most weird things
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle guys in there at the Meltdown over there
yeah
did you get don’t know is that when you guys leave whenever they lock the door Spencer hide under that little example Tripper by The Beatles starts play again he just runs around
I’m so everything every Alan Moore comic
all right we’ll do I mean we were just trying to whoop you in do you want to play some D & D I mean I love doing everything
literally yeah
all right will let’s do you want to tell us a story or I mean I have stuff to say I don’t know whatever
my East interpret dreams of high school also
yeah
it happened that’s all
do you stand in the place where no one’s dance
yeah I don’t know I don’t know it was just it wasn’t anywhere near as formal as yours but how was your high school experience in a bad way in a great way but like my older brother was pretty popular so like a lot of people that were older new me and I just I kind of knew a lot of different people but I didn’t really hang out with very many people I hang out with you know like my friends and stuff mostly we did weird
play play video games and Magic the Gathering cards and
I used to sometimes in the high school I used to like give like or relations like where you just start talking and my friends talking about stuff watch but I just you know just alone in the bathroom yeah yeah yeah they ran that was a good thing with me too so yeah I used to dance for money
all right that’s crazy and dick could you could you
play Dandy rapper
yeah fuck everybody who’s expecting you can write down on paper like I will dance for money and then I just talked with my friends and holding it’s going to be like you did for money and be like yeah sure and then they give me a quarter and I just feel like and then I stopped and then sometimes it be like that was enough anyhow I feel like whatever and then we did you ever suffer any in high school did you did you feel like you were like a Bottom Rung or I mean I got made fun of somebody for being the guy who yeah I mean the whole just everyone has antagonist and not like it wasn’t like a lower lower lower base they don’t think I think a lot of people like me they can own guy around the school that guy
look at them don’t talk to me or anything but you know they know who I am
all right that’s your fence the next to Sherry are you becoming a little more extroverted now that you moved to Hollywood in your you know like I was going to go and I was like I know like we’re actually driving there and we’re getting off the freeway and then I just drove home so now I mean party specific parties are weird because like unless you have interesting cool stuff to say all the time people just walk away and night like people cluster up in these little groups like you know there’s actually like a whole lot of knowledge E2 like parties like you could study on there really interesting
from the outside
but yeah there’s this little cluster regroup that happen and I have no fucking idea cuz that’s what most people are drunk and people are being like animated feel like I just don’t know like it’s just the growing on my hip like I did just people are you know talking about their problems and and I’m not in one of those clusters so I just like wander around and I leave and then it’s like they’re talking about something too serious and you feel up to that big group and they’re like oh well I feel like the Apple know but yeah there’s like the mystical you so much like the coolest person ever he’s so fun to talk to you and so nice and so
so handsome and so strong. I have a few informal by Spencer and I had where he asked me what do to me like we’re is this friendship just because you were drunk when we were talking or is it a is it a real friendship like if it was just you being drunk people talk
let that drunk people talk they can’t stop them somebody’s going to do the heroic move getting sloppy and like talking about Rice Krispies in a big glob
Yvette Nicole Brown at that I’d really like to see her in a black wrong time and it would not stop talking about it so I have to send her an e-mail play I love La trompette I think everyone’s fine
when we last met Heroes were on the road till 4 and I’m the Frozen City but the road was less of a road and more of a bridge bridge to be more specific specific after a vicious and deadly combat cork wrestled one off the cliff while Sharpie and mo’reen teamed up and destroyed the other two and after defeating their foes a voice called out from within welcome to time the Frozen City what they found inside was not dwarfs like Sharpie at expected but rather cross Giants great blue-skinned humanoids living in talking laughing and working in their giant fitting after chanting with the are chatting with the most kind faced of the Giants the game was told to follow a group of skeletons directly towards the yarrow who was the leader of four and I’m and soy
are gyros went after the skeletons and met with a yarl was willing to help the party but for a price all of their fragments power but with so much riding on the line and their fight against Admiral Darkstar would they really be willing to pay such a price and defeat Admiral Dark Star in his black sheep will find out
next
yeah I kind of know we’re having a sidebar hear that you are all can’t hear us okay on hand that’s bad we don’t want it they would just do anybody any good for anybody to have all of them yeah I’m assuming don’t let me do this I can I straighten her hair and I unbutton a button on her tunic tops with my hair
the urologist looking at you what is happening at a time
maybe I don’t remember
oh yeah we talked into your horse and I got
but I wanted to say that
a horse
drawing that in my life by I’ll talk to you okay hey
yarrow we have the same interest you do keeping the from the clutches of emeralds artstar
are we supposed to get together all right I’ll jump with you
however I can’t believe all the shards of power in the in the hands of the Improv game of doing sign language
these guys are power are only that
I mean I mean I guess what I’m saying is what I was saying
I want Tory Lanez Brandy if your requirements to help us as your own self-interest open it’s called volunteers people who are willing to sacrifice for the goodness of the earth not people who are looking to make out like Bandits. He’s the one who wants to take we want but not.
for sale the rate thing is he finds it really hard to understand
what the hell you guys are trying to say it’s okay
Crawford help us or perish
you don’t know you know why this is happening while I was timing and I was I was transcribing everything he was saying and I and I offer it
earwig by our hands we know that your mind is the most Mighty we know you can step on us like insects I was also going to point that out but I’m going to tell you something that I heard in the 60s in Brooklyn
I thought that I could step on people because they were like insects and then someone came and stepped on me because they were like giant insects and then I realized that I was the insect the situation you find yourself in
I need a what what an amazing thing to be so much bigger than so many other creatures
and I I mean wow you you are in this position where you have it all this responsibility to be so good tell these other creatures that must be a difficult thing and I admire you for being so diplomatic you motherfucker you’re bigger than people big deal you know it’s bigger than everyone Admiral Darkstar you know what kind of world we’re going to live in a big people decide they can do whatever they want because they’re bigger a shity world and believe me there’s a lot of bigger people than you out there and this tiny little fucker is telling me anytime
and if you start your happy life by stepping on me I guarantee you it won’t be happy for long I promise you I we are here based on what’s right so fuck you you try and fuck fuck you that’s what you get from me for help and a dick in your teeth
coilover will happily walk out of here we don’t need your help if you’re not take 22 damage
22 damage me to know him he got stepped on his face and I passionately and I was at full when I came in I mean you took some damage from the skeleton yeah yeah yeah okay you’re not dead
if I could ever come down on your friend and it lifts up and it’s like a crater and he’s in it and he’s crumpled and he’s dying to say
I jump in the crater and I don’t know why I run too sharp and I say all right here’s the deal sorry about the dick in your teeth, my friend just made will give you one Shard I am on completion of the mission will give you whatever you want
listen to an amazing speech speech therapy for nothing because I’m just the speech and then die and then we do what they want right you don’t want to
you listen to me and you take this dick in your teeth
respectfully sir I give a broken thumbs up for my crater
yeah smiling and then someone puts their dick on the teeth like what it used to be and what is my
old Ranger poetry yeah okay so that kind of works he’s not bleeding so much any more bleeding I mean like externally at least y’all have any response to that was awesome no you also
stepping on us know the three of us have have written so we’re going to have to use our understudies cuz we’re dying
my offer of 101 shower. Down payment. I thought you guys were arguing about it he has them so I could probably just take him off of his dying body
yep fucking Punchy giant dick
turn on Rock I don’t give a shit Bro Pride cuz I might might this is the home of the mighty must be nice to be so big you can step on a person that’s a mighty to me what are you getting stepped on fascism now figure your giant philosophy is trickle down to my normal size friends
I believe that we can defeat this giant by taking advantage of his ego
okay cool how are we going to do it he’s dying what if we suggest to the giant that we have written and in tribute to him and during the show
my friend capitulate this I go to everybody today steel I take their shards when I go up to my hand the guy to give us an army can also get some medical help he doesn’t come near me I’m going to piss on it
and his tribute perhaps one of us can come up behind him and kill him or another place that killed a person there’s a element like a comedy for Jose everybody Circle the whole time the shards yeah yeah yeah so as you approach econolite grab something between his pinky and thumb and with his index finger reflux you and he just kind of stumbled backwards and yeah there’s just the one in the chamber
we don’t kill the giant I guess you’re not dying you saw me to pee okay well I’m still a really shity day I don’t feel like having a fucking show for the guy who has killed our friend are you dead I’m not dead enough to spit a tooth out them that’s what I do with my round
I’m going to die proud fuck face
show about how old is he
during the show giant Oh you mean the skill or the vial do I have any I don’t know do you just say healing anyting though it does stay blue poison well blues that color of like fixing stuff Blue Cross Blue Shield Blue Grass blue grass is a living doll
I sent forward calling mural
yaaro yaaro that’s weird that that would be like calling you to Pakistani could you call your majesty right there was title given the shards
girl I would like to present to you as so
for you you have that previously that we do not respect your kind or your race I never said I didn’t think that
to demonstrate how weak we are first you don’t have to do that nobody wants to be in the Shell I got a business foot size crater right now it stopped the show it’s really cold
also slippery on the floor but here you are all over where you fall over
I’m right behind you
Roland Spencer Rolla is when you were doing your show on your face cuz you put ice on the floor and made a slippery and then you’re doing your routine and you fall hard music coming out of your throat
what is it like being a book to you
is it bad luck to me oh God
I put the ham yeah we’re still working on it
you are so great please let us go please let us leave from the place she’s not paying attention to what she’s doing a fucking show I’m going to I’m going to attack you if you don’t stop doing this I’m going to take my sword out and kill you I take my sort out of hold it up over that I’m going to kill you if you don’t stop doing
he doesn’t know he he he ho lightly waits for this all to end and the fucking kill you
who in the end over you kind of holds up a finger and I’m A Cloud kind of floats in the room and he reaches into the crowd cloud and pulls out a handful of Onyx gems and crushes them in his palm and you see kind of like magical Mist float up and then he drops it on the floor and it falls on the floor and it kind of forms into the shape of the skeleton things in the room has like four skeletons in it and he’s like yeah here’s your army what are you doing shut up talking to the yard
Bargain Hunt
yeah oh yeah all we get is forties, yeah and your lives. Dick
Pac-Man right there I seriously that’s all we get is 40 gallons of the Swing what were you looking for it’s like a skull can we have dinner with you and muscle makes an expression you have to have eyebrows that’s all tissues that
why was she doing show is fucking stupid
okay let’s regroup Sharpie how you doing all right over there I can’t believe that if I’m going to die the last thing I see is that fucking show
the Irish word and my friends selling all are shards 442
yes it is delicious irony and he just put his thumb on you
where are you
oh my God there’s a lot of emotions happening right now
we need to chill out over the fucking I’m going to kill something okay
can we first black really dead what do you mean currently
pick up a car
but he’s currently
no no
how much are healing powers
can I can I see he’s 10 he’s walking dead that’s what we’re going to do can we bury him a funeral and then the funeral when everyone’s there at the funeral will know
as small as a rope and I fit into one of my arrows are you making a scorpion weapon
and I puncture a hole in the top of the the arrow and I and I weave in my cuz his head so I sent you these damn customers buy a thumb yeah
I heard her I heard her say that she was making the Dead Guy you described these injuries okay I run I run down I-5
find a place where he was when he was injured and I start blowing are magical help into going to kill me to put a flight to been somebody I don’t know what the fuck that is a life to life
talk about vaginas right that you cut the flashlight flashlight
the skeletons are under his control they don’t do anything
we made a deal we made a deal I told you I would let you leave with the skeletons and your lives and I’m a necromancer power over life and okay here’s the deal
fucking my friend is dead you fucking rape a help with angry with her
but I guess if I can lose my shit know that I was saying before you so rudely interrupted may I just kind of you know I enjoy this sort of thing my friend I’m going to do it
hey hey just say he’s going to do it we’re all good we’re all in the same thing as a floor jack we’re going to have our 40 skeletons and we’re going to want out forever
do I heal my friend now he looks to the ground at the crumpled body of Shar-Pei and he points the finger at him and he kind of has some more of these Onyx gems between his finger in his leg neck Romantica deus ex machina
and and you just bring up branch of the daisy can I also make a suggestion I mean no
I mean down down down you were dead we brought you back to life all we got is these 40 skeletons are we going to spend it positive let me try
your dad and we are cleaning up our theater
I lingered behind the last to leave the room okay
can I dust off my clothes he’s like hey man that was pretty cool
yeah yeah I’m just the yaril I got it you know it’s important and I called you should try getting stepped on some time because that’s the test well if you ever come out
yeah we try if you ever see any double Giants let me know
I never find any double Giants ended my way ya speak gibberish
giant giant the giant weight he’s improvising a brain the size of a fucking connect correct y’all thank you so much for going to go we should get some time let’s go enjoy your Frozen City skeletons in the car
one of these days you’re going to wake up in the earth still going to be here on that day remember this you’re welcome
Sharpie out
creditor coming to Hermantown MN
we love you very much
that was an adventure probably check
then next week we love you all dearly thank you guys
I’m sad
temperature
I think it’s in a family come see the taping this thing it’s really great you won’t believe it