Episode: 67 – Click Here For Bacardi


Episode: 67 – Click Here For Bacardi


Mayor Pet psychology is discussed. Then the usual topics of race and terrorism. Then crap gets real about anarchy on the moon.


Hermantown is once I get in touch with him
please welcome to the stage the mayor apartment child
thank you
thank you for waiting we usually do get to start a little bit after 8 but that we had some we had some speaker wiring issues or something the Holodeck was said to be thank you for your patience. I hope it didn’t affect your energy with what you were going to go home and watch Breaking Bad on your DVR and also thank you for coming here Aaron is did not choose Breaking Bad over the show but she is not here because she long ago committed to hosting a Breaking Bad party at my house so it it seems like she’s just stayed home to watch Breaking Bad but but it’s bit more important than that there were guests and stuff they’re wearing costumes and having a lot of fun and we’re here
cake shaped like a hat some themed snacks anyways I was just saying backstage I have never seen the single minute of that show and I look forward to maybe watching it all like one month on DVD or something you got to be the last guy I can’t even think of we should we should find a woman that also hasn’t seen it in mate you too and then I don’t know what create some kind of specialized working breed of the first all right so that’s all I can think about and then let’s bring our friends up to make up for lost time but I have a dog owner and a cat owner a lot of people my age have children a lot of people my age have children that are half my age
David I have a dog and a cat and they’re not getting along well I mean they’re getting along okay like the cat doesn’t let the dog more than a foot like a lizard with a cat bubble you know if it’s a get the dog gets too close than the cat hisses and can I maybe swipes but they’ve never touched each other ever they’ve got to like him very close to accidentally like getting to go to garun put little Summit snacks in between the two of them there’s these snacks at both dogs and cats like so that’s kind of cruel fashion Summit she has a summit and puts a little snack on the bed and the cat and the dog both like the snacks issue is it some for the cats over the dog Put a Little Closer like a Reese’s Pieces you know assignment like Stalin Roosevelt
and so they’ve never touched they’ve never touched each other the ultimate dream is to have them like snuggling up to each other and I do like a little dog. Couple do you think that dream is fast escaping if it’s not going to ever watch wrist so I guess we’re primates we don’t understand how these creatures really think at the end of the day they exhibit characteristics that make us think well okay that cats mad I get mad it doesn’t want something so it’s it’s it’s lashing out okay I understand that and so we we we we then think that these things have the same brains and emotions that we have and we just wrong and I will tell you why I found that out today I was I was at work and Erin texted me but most of my colleagues get texts from from from there it is significant others tell a little little little Jude took his first steps or while you’re working on community or or a Franklin ate a booger are you know they have kids is what I’m saying and but
instead of like
I mean I guess I should use her way I want you to feel my confusion and
see that listening dad is produced his enormous phone okay so I just got a text from Aaron Harvey licked faves but
smile emoticon then she said she followed it up with… Like there was candy inside your butthole
I was very confused I said I said Whoa by the wave is the name of the cat in Harvey’s the dog I said what did V do?! What it would wake up we would have been learning we call those I forgot? Tara Tara Banterra Bank tarragon she let him
golf course she let him who doesn’t want their asshole licked
well I don’t know why you would find it hard to get started as an act of contrition that would transform a thinks a storytelling species exactly so she let him and then followed up with she just stood there like he was paying dues
and I said like he was Peyton or she was paying are you saying she wanted enjoyed it and she said he was paying she wanted it then she sat down he sat down next to her and she hissed at him
I said I’m having trouble processing this it’s not what I expected would be their first physical contact she said believe me I saw it and I can’t process it she offered him her but he sniffed it he then licked her butthole for upwards of 30 seconds I clarified and she was like that’s right you missed a spot then lay down
wow baby steps
how we feel
so then you start to walk you develop you adapt you change that these Milestones this cat let this dog lick its ass hole was it is not afraid of it if I had to make a guess that has a big lead the Elder like she’s she’s been there longer she’s she’s quite as she’s quite all right how old is the Grand Am of the estate has been bumming around since you’ve been hissing at and he’s been quarantined in two different parts of the home and the least he can do is like a little ass off but it doesn’t make it cool if they don’t last forever I’m still not going to like you like the closest he could come to understanding is like prison you know like like like men make love to each other in prison but if they don’t then I5 they stab each other thank you
letting me make love to you that’s what that’s the least you can do writing in prison with me and house Debbie stab stab
I wonder what it was Harvey’s Instinct was that he didn’t get it he just he just like the bummed out because I use all moving things as potential Soul delicious assholes mailman who has the same reaction to all of it he just wants to interact and plays very very very very jolly fellow was never really experienced any pain in his life we’re using this modern you know post Cesar Millan training technique we’ve never we have never negatively addressed him never even implied to him that he’s done anything wrong and I’m proud to say it works I’m relieved to say it works there is no room for the things that you want them to do but never know but now it’s in the middle of the Constitution
if they take a shit on your Persian rug you don’t you know the old school way is like you come down to see the ship and at the very least you got like bad I hope that they pick up on it at the worst year of the face of plywood left it just that it doesn’t it doesn’t work it doesn’t the dog doesn’t know the dog doesn’t it doesn’t it you can you can make a negatively Associated negative behaviors with negative consequences but but kind of but overall what you’re actually doing is making the dog associate you with negative consequences not you’re not did you just making the dog nervous your it kind of like that the last time I did anything I wanted I kind of got hit in the nose with a newspaper or tie I guess I’ll stick to what I know to be safe behaviors so that it’s like it’s a kind of like it’s rabbit hunting with an elephant never told your dad know so your dog thinks everything is a possibility so it starts looking a cat’s asphalt the cats has no after it.
that hisses at it and he’s getting negative yeah well the cat isn’t Bound by our rules I know it had to end up using Cesar Millan techniques on the got it but the dog better trained than us but I don’t know what you’re trying to point out face it wouldn’t it’s the the door the door is a cat do you think has learned his lesson to not lick his ass anymore or do you think he’s going to go back to that well I don’t know I mean let him lick her ass right for 30 30 seconds is a good long time
dog training suggests that over time he will become an ass licking cat that he will he will only lick her ass she made have nailed it like like she she she he won’t go near her unless she offers her asshole and he’ll just lick it that and then he want but he he won’t ever do anything else I got her I hope that’s the case I’ll be interesting about this or not what’s up let’s play I just want to bring up to mail he makes me comfortable to bring up Kumail nanjiani
he might be in the bathroom
right here
hey guys that is one of the nicest intrusive ever gotten clearly you’ve become the edge of my pool I just grabbed it instinctively scared or lazy we didn’t like each other in the beginning and now they’re they’re better answer that question of the dog licks the cats asshole
but the cat still doesn’t like the dog dog has always liked the cat the dog expresses the dog express is all desire through barking when I get it if it if you hit the window and it follows the cat the cat doesn’t want to associate with the dog we have a network of baby gates with the one flat taken out so the cat has more Wizard of Wizardly access to the whole house it’s never more than five feet away from safety where’s the dog has it’s like ladybugs that video game from the 80s like it’s just a lot of gates video game but why don’t you guys all Mary life if you’re so young
I don’t know what he’s like ladybug he like it has very limited
so he’s like this ladybug
you know the character’s name isn’t ladybug it said we had several occasions we have this cat and she’s what happened was the people who live in a house when I moved into your two cats and when she moves she just left the cats outside and just moved away so which is a horrifying so these took one of the cats went feral like immediately the other cat was just hanging out like really sweet like always like looking at us like hey guys how’s it going for you feeding it but our neighborhood has coyotes so every night
but you can see it getting more desperate so we took it to the vet. It all checked out the sweetest cat be named Wallace and existing cat is Bagel like really sweet on aggressive Bagel adorable and we brought him home now I just always wanted a cat named bagel and I was like it’s not even the right color or anything it’s not Jewish or anything from broken now so
Mark Williams break anyways so open the bagels like totally swept like she turned into a different it was weird part of the sabre-tooth brain like Evolutions like something and she like totally turned into a different but you’d walk different super mean to this cat will be with C like the bagel with just stare down Wallace school so long that they will start falling asleep and then like
for like a week just like staring at him and Wallace would just sort of annoyed cuz he’s been battling werewolves you know anybody brother
that’s exactly right hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no limits is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker at myself and one of the blackest film nerdiest film Earth-like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
if is better okay
what was just looking at a site now. I had that one turned out who seems so loud I more resonant voice than than the rest of us yet you have a very professional. Oh yeah what do we usually scream Jessup
nobody looks like they are on my side
you do I look for them not to pass he can infiltrate what what nationality are you
you’re missing every second check of the airport I guess that’s got it that’s a bummer
I got checked at the airport
is it a double bummer
infinity tattoo still Infinity it’s still a bummer of putting it in my butt and I was like man youth you get the harassment which is kind of a I think I think I think I fantasize about being you know cuz you know that’s the one thing that white people don’t get to have is racist adapt is the is the is the fantasy of being locked out of my waking up in the morning and being like they have is not having privilege is what I’m leaving the same joke I’m just saying I know you have no idea how good you have it
you beat me you taught me humility now I have everything of like getting to be like really hard core Irish or really like hardcore anything you would want to get to be something anything other than just this vanilla like meringue if you get to be something and then there’s the price which is like harassment Prejudice and all the stuff but at least you had the Thunders the upside which is like identity what would a guy I’m not I’m not even allowed to be offended really going to specifically I just being inconvenient what is your name
comedies might as well but I get what you’re saying is sometimes it’s something she happens to me I’m like all this guy’s races but to you it’s like oh he just hates you you’re just what I’m saying is that is that the diff between the downside is is the being of the barrel and the races of The Upside is being an exclusive Club something I understand that that makes sense for something and you know I like that. Yeah that’s what appeals to me about racism is the idea of being of being a minority that would be into I would be if I was if I was not
believe I’d make a fucking meal out of it because I I because I look at me I am a fat white rich guy and I’m constantly raving about how I’m unappreciated and I would you be a black panther on activists I can get you mad but I would push whatever your envelope you could will still being a coward I don’t have a really clean blog
today I was at the bank and they said can I help you what do you mean can you help me like I need help I don’t know I just
it sounds like you have a lot of problems with the man I just want to tear them down and make them feel them
some of you are trying to trick me into saying a terrorist others if you are saying it takes courage to be a terrorist I’m stepping off of all of this
hey man I’m just saying you don’t have to be non-white to be a terrorist
what let’s talk about this let’s plan this out
what would we do Jeff
Medical Center podcast call Sam special guest Aziz Ansari
continue with the slightly related Segway I’d I have been thinking lately that it’s time to get back to get into the moon I think we need to make that a new objective quickly bailed on premise that we had four years ago but it was a passionate one is about alienation like in the fuck out of here just getting that Feeling Again get the fuck out of here man everyone’s dumb
it looks good.
This guy is a headband
I want to get up there and picture a picture of geodesic dome with a cooler of beer and just be left alone how many people were you initially talking about bringing up their phone number right so either 12 or 666 I don’t know if pitching a multi-faceted sidestep
12 seems too small I think 600 is a good number would be about a hundred if I’m convinced that roughly a hundred is a sort of like if you like the average person can keep track of a hundred people and I like like I have 200 that thing start to get statistical that you knew everybody is like living in a small town ever make me feel incredibly exactly like what if what if what if this was what we do we don’t live together if we all lived on a colony of each other to get to know them you would go like you know you would you would go through rotations are going okay been doing for dinner tonight I don’t know hundred people on Friday night
but every Friday night and you know you are not a hundred people you get to know these would be there for more meaningful they wouldn’t just default like this weird networking a hundred people not a hore at a time when you get sick of those four and you move over to do for the rest are still going to be there for people who made
but they’re my kids are other people’s kids to the dentist
Telecaster parents they hate their parents people I don’t like I don’t like their kids either
know what you come up with you you would Jeff stop it
we know what you’re doing and we don’t like it I’m saying a hundred people not a lot of people like I said you’re a sponge like you never get enough a hundred people you’d be like I said there’s a cap on the amount of love I can get you it’s about I couldn’t live in a very very small town to the same bar everyday
I don’t mean that in a bad way but I mean like we know it’s not the same is it not really worried about that. That would be good I love the idea.
people say what’s with this depends on how far you have then we don’t have to generally generally it happens at a urinal which I’m not a big fan of urinal chitchat guy’s penis in his suit guy won $30 vintage to that I wore it to death he was there with River Phoenix that’s how long ago it was because I have to do we in hands and eyes
you always wear the same outfit but you get some mad puss
I just got a frown because I am not trying to hate to celebrate some of the Ryman
but like like that you get like Jenna and I like
some people don’t like it right, he has the luxury of of of of having English as a second language. That’s like airbrushing everything is like putting panty hose over a shity movie shittiness cuz looking like good, no
I think
it’s it’s it’s it’s a wonderful life but backwards everyone came out and now everyone hates those movies he headed when I came out everyone says that
prisoner princess are innocent you just don’t bother to go through the phase of the younger you are let’s face it I like a lot of movies from when I was like 18 that are just like they’re not going to hold up if I show people go nosed movies like midnight run is the best like someone that have a right to go spend a run is not that good stuff jacking off on it and I agree that midnight run has an amazing movie but I still think it’s equally true if somebody were to watch it and go like a piece of shit you were eighteen when you saw this and you it was meaningful to you and you can’t escape those like neural Pathways that you created me sites that we talked about this with Goonies in The Labyrinth Labyrinth and there was a girl that came up that felt that way about Space Jam and she’s not a bad person
but she made no case for it
I bet I bet she made no case for not being a good for about bad person
she’s like Typhoid Mary just wanted to suggest Space Jam was good and she’s out of the next city
she’s in she’s in Idaho right now and open mic
I haven’t like I don’t like Led Zeppelin but I will defend Neil Diamond write that makes me weird but I got you yeah it does so much Andre if that’s a word is the is the phenomenon of getting older and older and older and not even bothering with the the. Between seeing something and realizing that it’s probably like good or not good or whatever like like like not going through the part where you look like I’m not going to I’m not falling for that you see a Spider-Man billboard news is like that’s dumb it’s eight Spider-Man movies and we can’t remember what it’s like your fucking brain isn’t fire your dicks like

just like your blood is different your blood is literally different in every chemical and it is different and you’re like like like like week we take substances to alter our state but we would fail to recognize it when you’re 18 like you are a different species ideas at like you see a Spider-Man billboard in your life do you combine that hormonal energy with the fact that you haven’t been around long enough to not trust a movie I didn’t get out of here by so he’s bummed out
is abused her appointment for the flavors we fail to recognize that some of the ship we were like what happened it why does everything taste as good as Star Wars 12-pack in there wasn’t like festivals and conventions wear a cast of Star Wars had to show up two years before the movie was finished and tell 6,000 people Darth Vader’s Lux review on all this week because that was me just a minute it’s like everything just kind of you know who it is that good or bad everything is like this big oatmeal and fucking like like we were we were we were twelve and a world that was like holy shit
pictures moving on the train and there’s no way to capture them except with our hearts
what is my favorite show is when I was a kid it was two things Legos and Star Wars action figures Legos are awesome cuz he doesn’t like z build stuff but I remember being boorish 4 and 1/2 more going on 5 standing in line at the orange Cinerama Dome for Star Wars with my family I remember it vividly there was a bunch of dudes in white bell bottom cuz it was 77 and had long hair and kind of Proto mustaches and Evergreen pickup trucks and vans with airbrush it on him and it’s weed everywhere that’s the price of Star Wars parking lot smell
sounds a lot like Robert I would like to take me out of the theater out of the embarrassingly sadly out of the emergency of one of the exits by the stage left screen right door in front of everybody cuz I started crying when when Darth Vader came out that’s why I love the big scary bad guy so you like training yourself with the action figure to not be scared to go through be able to sit through the movie again
controlling these things that I was watching the original King Kong recently and you think of like people like what what when did that come out I’m sure you know 33 people just going and seeing fucking King Kong and it just like blowing their minds and it sucks that we will never be better than the Dallas guide The Lumiere brothers and I’m sure it had to figure out like the concept of like cutting from one thing to another lake lake lake
magic trick shooting something interesting on interest what should we preserve and then someone had to figure out weight the camera that that is his brain will tolerate being using this device to whip around the cosmos to be up in this guy’s Grill and then cut to what he’s looking at and then cut back to him and have him go I want a sandwich reportedly supposedly people see this and they would play with like they couldn’t help but like they would not playing their next Transformers whatever and they were talking about
wasting the show we should be talking about terrorism
let’s get to the moon where it’s legal there’s no loss there yet consequences but then going against the people who you went to the Moon
I feel like it’s going to take what tower is doing a great job for this whole thing to die
God damn you think I don’t like the idea of just a hundred people at seems to do well to a guy to be like I don’t know like that up there a Spencer’s Spencer’s but I mean like Spencer but cool but like all everybody be different what are we found in harmontown there’s all isn’t there are a hundred. But my question was though if you are up there with a bunch of really intelligent people would you be happy cuz I guess it isn’t part of your partner with your Christ complex persecution thing or fantasy that like that how much smarter you are than people on how much like I would like you always like you know like how much better you are than people have died on the vine
but he was like no I don’t think so I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t want I don’t want I mean I have discovered as of late humble brag that I agree as much as I like someone that it might feel this supposed to experience it would should be never but I have an accident like this concept of Fame as opposed to respect like I want I want everyone to like me or I started that way I want everyone to like me I want as many people like me as possible there’s other people her like I want everyone
I’m not one of those people do not like that because when everyone knows your name that is just like random people just going like
I’ve gone out with Jack Black the grocery store is like like like like like you were trying to buy a box of tricks and like people just like come up to him and point at his face like he’s a bug and go your famous right
and you guys know you if you’re if you don’t even know you are okay and that I didn’t like people running back up here and going cuz they went and Google them or something like that and they go they go
bujinkan wasn’t that good though
fuck that that’s Fame I don’t want it that’s no good like like like like like I want to be in a room where I don’t have to worry about a single person thinking that there’s anything wrong with me be comfortable in a room or in a in a colony full of people that were slightly smarter than you or you kind of felt like you just as long as I don’t
first of all not possible second of all
I’m I’m I’m I’m in correct usage of the word like I’m borderline retarded in terms of all kinds of things so I I like there’s a lot of people that are way smarter than one another as long as as long as as long as I wasn’t like a bird I don’t want to be stuffed in a locker I don’t want to I don’t want to ever have to be in a room where there’s a single person that’s like Kyle would be so much better if you just fucking dye which is high school is just like an eclipse 90% of the people are just like why don’t you just fucking like functionary jobs like let’s say like you know waste removal of people that do that i could not just be a bunch of intellectuals with your artists that be people that were satisfied doing menial tasks light lights up like that
where does the 60s like there’s the colonies of hippies is there are plenty smart and they they grow their potatoes and they remove their garbage and they cut each other’s hair and they deliver each other’s babies and it’s worked like there’s those people are dumb they weren’t above or below like like the fact that a hundred people’s worth of poop had to be cleaned up these are these are people that have plans secretly under Fascist governments or monarchy government to the hidden underground and teaching each other how to run things how to operate stuff and years and years and years and years of education and none of those situations like completely legally and underground to learn how when the revolution happens that we’re ready to go take out the truck and that’s awesome you have to be like if you can’t just take a ship up to the moon and say all right everybody we’re all anarcho-syndicalist were all everyone’s going to do their own thing like like running take pride in Mayfield
okay everybody cuz there’s only a hundred of us so it will likely probably a hundred fifty two hundred people in this room so that we know that we can do this on the moon so we got okay everybody we all poop and we all eat so there’s 100 of you and none of us want to clean up poop and he may be one guy with the meeting. Let’s talk but assuming Kobe doesn’t exist like like like I got no one wants to clean up poop but there’s a hundred of us is a hundred people for the poop the good news is if we all take turns we only have to clean poop 1% of them are of our lives but people poop will say once or twice and three times a day that’s what you’re doing it like a lot toilet
Alexander the car as I was trying to think of a logo like a corporate logo and the name of my employer
the podcast for we talked about terrorism being brave people and we want to be the one thing tomorrow be
Facebook suggested the colonies
La Familia
you can send it back though because if we could burn up in Earth’s atmosphere kind of harmlessly wouldn’t it definitely is all you have to do is make it a little slower and it’ll burn up automatic Coupe burner perfect we’re already bring a beautiful brown ring around Saturn to put a beautiful pin Earth attacks the moon it’s it because it supposed to poop or is it may come get you I dare them to attack do you know how hard it would be for them to attack the moon watch and we haven’t been back there since because we’re that is that expensive and where that amazing real Space Program back to the moon like a hundred people all we have to do is go
destroy the Earth basically is go fuck you and then move 20 yards
by the time they figure out how to invade where that signal came from a thousand craters that were already there
I had a question but let’s talk about that little bit
you haven’t yet Moon moving technology you can put on a plane
you’ve done it cuz we’re smart people are still be people on the earth smart people on Earth but they’re sellouts and that and then
and that will compromise them if I’ve learned one thing I fight if I take the hundred people I want I will have already removed with just removing the hundred people that I want Earth Earth’s passion will have been reduced by 90% I would say that
stop quoting your gear bumper stickers guys they’re on sale over there I don’t know maybe I’ll rewrite the entire time all I could see was Adam Goldberg different disguises trying to get on the rocket ship
I think I bring them cuz everybody’s got a statue so don’t get too excited that you wouldn’t want to bring the pig I ever said in their entire life ever like to somehow figure out a way to Paula graphically prove this cuz people are going to anyone who is ever in their entire life said too much information
the problems are white people problems or tell us how you really feel, I know people use it all the time I just wish everybody would stop saying at the end of the day like I hate you say it all the time I figured I would have I probably would have to have my own Moon Moon the Moon
I’m going to get going to be there when does the moon not big enough for the two of us Matt
see that’s not revoked
why do I pee call at home don’t know he stood up to say that I feel rude remark for me like the ability to be alone in a crowd of the greatest thing in the world have the ability to get away like I love everybody who comes he’s never had a bad experience here doing harmontown never been bombed out to anyone that’s ever come when the show is over I just I just believe I just want to go and get my separate myself from from crowds but where do you go where
little Tiki Bar call just place it doesn’t know who’s going to work their Moon is huge was it a hundred people get a man how many restaurants are where there’s not going to be any restaurants midnight reciprocity I’m saying there has to be a VIP more is going to have some fucking swinging restaurant some very nice meal leftovers every figure the bite taken out of it
my men will actually rotate it won’t be orbit locked like I’m a damn I would like to be at the revolving restaurant you can actually have a revolving view of fake bulshit looking
wherever we go we can do your on a flight of fancy bear called Phoenixville ever going to look down on on on munmun and where to go like look at the eclipse
what’s 105 kg going to take a vacation to get off of the fucking mood though. Oh yeah we know dude it’s great
where is the restaurant I don’t know if I’ll let you take the restaurant here’s what there’s going to be out of a hundred what do you do
world richest we’re leaving the Earth to get away from this horrible classes of Mexican people I love Mexican food painters
we’re going to be great lovers understand what there’s a lot of shit to get done know that we’re just going up there to exist in peace there doesn’t dare you could do it with three people it’s like a small community oh my God really
yeah but I could finally I could finally be that guy home remedies
you don’t like to travel you you would love to have a app that you’re a Hermit you you would love to have a build a giant even after the show Jeff what time is it
so much of my life is spent with this interaction people coming up a guy and I look at their face and I recognize the expression of a person who knows he believes that I should know their name more than other people I think I am a miserable about it I would like I very much enjoy walking into a room and knowing who everybody is I hate having to go through that it makes me very aloof seeming and it makes me very uncomfortable it makes me have to stare at the floor and it’s already hard enough to interact with people I feel like if I actually could recognize people you wouldn’t get sick of the same people that you knew all the time I need a hundred people that’s like a big apple to bite said by the time I would get bored with them I think it would be 20 years later Not only would I be dying but there’d be all these new people but there will be children
people we’re going to start fucking as soon as we get up there and have you look at the
walking leads to this
by the way you know I know what how it was going to happen is it like 20 years on the moon you guys are going to be like Fierce and a half of the Moon and there was like it was like the capital I want to see restaurant I would need to be able to travel to the Moon at all if you want to go to places
I think there’s going to have to be an awful lot of back-and-forth you know the first people that you think so either would have to be that could be part of the culture is that the Moon is like a there will be people like I would look at it as like a like a sieve kind of articulate the process like like it’s an optional like there’s a shuttle that goes back and forth every year right so you like overtime the people that end up populating the moon or people that I actually do enjoy it no one that actually doesn’t like it has to be there longer than a certain intervals over time even the gene pool is just like people that actually has a bunch of 18 year olds running around
Freddy like that their families are going to be cool and cool people to the moon no one no one uncool is going to be like being there I’m going to create an environment that Uncle people do not like leaving you said with your family going to be there if their families are cool they don’t like their families if they’re on a cool that’s see that that’s oversimplifying oversimplifying
you know I think I think that’s I don’t know what was going to happen here but I like a lot of people being away from their families forever it would be something that the one at the end of each year and who knows what a year is when you’re on the moon I don’t know how that works I don’t know I can’t wait to find out
is not actually start to us
all right right right right how long is the moon are built around the earth once right 28 days or something but then days and nights are going to be totally different is not going to be 24 hours
he’s going to be one day is going to be one month this is great
already I’m not even live out there yet I already forgot it to you tomorrow
but okay so so whatever whatever whatever a moon year is you have a big party
working off what would be your favorite Moon activities I’m thinking of specifically zero gravity gravity is 1/6 and 6 gravity at this point I can’t see past the the joy of being just left alone largely like I just like I like talking to people and drinking and I don’t know if I would take a lot of advantage of the one-sixth gravity and play a lot of football or anything I would think that you probably would create indoors it would be normal gravity I want people like slowly like you know we artificially induced sure so which means that making a fun room would be a simple as putting left work into it I guess there would be like you know places you could go you can go I’m only 30 pounds
I think I I think I just have like a kind of a log cabin feel the moon and itself is nothing special about the Moon that then it’s a desk groups of people and you don’t want I don’t want to be subject to ya idiots tyranny stream abject boredom up there was only like a small amount of options like I like black people do you see how many different places do you go to my house if I want to take a trip I can go somewhere I’ll leave and let the option isn’t he wanted any time of day I wish I would stand in a plexiglass Cube
if I if it if somehow you can construct it was like oh you you’re not you’re allowed to think say and feel and do whatever you want while you’re standing in his face and you can’t you’re not accountable to it at all like like like to do or if I could just have a 3ft square patch of pee pee pad for a dog like I was not
like capable of being a bad person for feeling something or saying something or doing something like that would be such a huge you get permit through here until you tell me why I cannot because there is always going to be something that you can do in the even in the privacy of your own home there you are always under the fucking rule of morons you are you are never free you know and I like the Moon is literally separate from this planet of just fucking insect people they think they will get you somehow and I don’t care that there’s no Oxygen there that’s secondary to my goddamn freedom I just want to scan to somewhere for a little bit I love being asleep because they’re not fucking with me there but I did my dreams they’re still like stop it shut up
take a bath I just that’s you talking to yourself and take a bath eventually have to pick them are you going to have the rules of who they are and then there’s also going to have to be rules of conduct and my fear is that you are going to become some sort of weird autocratic tyrants you and it will be true Anarchy Define by the fact that there is no the the the you know how I kind of into the judeo-christian ethic and all of them and I think that’s actually not probably political correct any more likely the truth is all of the new major religions like an anti murder policy that you can do like inherently what is the fiber of evil like
any major religion I’ll tell you another dude don’t do that start with the asterisks but but but like on the moon of course killing it doesn’t even that I’m going to come to the picture you never going to get there like like like the the before you even get there the big get fucking taboo is going to be hierarchy any implication or thirst for it will be condemned like like like frowned upon it won’t even be like like why are you talking to me as if I’m beneath or above you
at all don’t do it don’t talk to me like I’m in charge of you and don’t talk to me like like you’re in charge of me non-hierarchical Humanity like in a bunch of grapes like Blake Blake Blake’s existing a hundred people there’s going to be hierarchy we are always tempted to do it we’re tempted to do lots of things that we have risen based on knowledge of your dad isn’t that what Would You Do by Fall Out Boy members of spit in my mouth I have turds in my but we are born not knowing the alphabet we educate and refine ourselves to something there’s a medic Evolution tour species in addition to the genetic Evolution that we’ve all been halted for Good Reasons by the glasses but I’m happy for him because he’s smart
so say hello to a myopic species but like we we chose to advance ourselves over being giraffes and going like those guys they’re dead to us going to be dead pretty soon we’re the only things that have a chance of getting off of this fucking piece of shit that’s not be such a planet that’s pretty nice it’s got waterfalls but but we on the saying that we like we achieved the ability to feel to be about to do something naturally razorfist I hate to Hate something and then we know but my species like even if not biologically I don’t do that when I was a baby that was like touching a hot stove I don’t do that I don’t I don’t think about hierarchy I have a word for it I know what it is I recognize it when I see it I don’t hit another person of the face with a
fire truck because when I did that the first time when I was 1 years old
I was I was told don’t do that but I don’t think I think we have hierarchy now the way that I mean you called the most of us insect people I think that’s just how we do sort of because they love this really weird logic prep hierarchy exactly or up to people I look down on everybody because we’re caught in this infantile thing of thinking that we need leaders Heroes government are you fucking kidding me we’re not that smart yet how does it how does the internet is proving to us as a toad like like every other governesses hammered but in their infancy like Lake Lake-Link forums like like like like like like like like
It’s relatively it’s not purely devoid of hierarchy but it’s functional without hierarchy it’s like a Siri for us to go I love Carl I love Carl to of Carl Carl popular today he doesn’t have to get a better parking space he doesn’t have to tell us what to do that infantile it is literally infantile it’s an instinct that we carry into adulthood from infancy we start to look at Barack Obama or whoever is running for anything I mean at the end of the day it’s got to be somebody’s fault when it rains going to hang out with a group like constantly communicate with them to say everything that’s on my mind I want to go in my house and keep everything to myself instead of the bullet ice cream and then get on the computer and go.
rain today lake is all childish nonsense they are responsible for everything that happens but what do we do to them we can crucify them we take people we put them on the covers of magazines and then we figure out why they’re pieces of shit we just over and over and over again in this cycle this ritual of telling ourselves over and over and nodding Like Rain Man for the back of a truck with a straight jacket on we’re going yet changes bad changes that Adam Goldberg
journey of you say don’t ever clap for me because it’s all performing in front of a 3 foot radius of you in town
anyone can do this I don’t even want to go to her show
Celeste show you what today
what’s that true that you really you’re not going to do I have a fucking like Buck Rogers cubicle I don’t know I’m not going to be and be responsible for your own Survival for your own your own daily needs I will have to be end end the hundred people with me will be responsible for each other and ourselves and we’re not going to be like always at my house is bigger but I think about her
my house is bigger if you know where that comes from the I did slavery and why do you live in a big house right now I want to finish out the most money I want I want I want I want I want to do laundry but I do love all of that I’d love to be on a world that didn’t have to have that shitt I don’t have to have that hair that have that still legal to be born here you don’t have to have a house called Data do it was a you don’t have to have that way we all want big houses
I have sold us the idea that the amount of space you can walk in is an expression of Freedom we were bored out of vaginas we have freedom of speech we have we have the freedom of a commotion already talking in the vagina

anything and we are both have been convinced that you want to park your car there a lot of people will cost you $80 we got to clean the streets you got to do that thing we talked about it since sanity you’re going to be such a nightmare I’m going to go up there now you’re going to be in control of the mines and $100 and the fact that you have incredibly like expectations about behavior of a bunch of a bunch of different is a bunch of different entities like I want to be in charge of a situation like that big red who is that
is it what’s your name sir you don’t need we don’t need government we don’t need we don’t need higher cuz we don’t need power we don’t need we don’t need to do it for a certain people having and holding power over the people in small communities to make decisions as a group to have there been any sustainable communities that have lasted Beyond a few years that have had no hurry up here when there’s a fire when there is a witch it was what you’re talking about you don’t have to have hierarchy in order to have a person who is the designated Fire Marshal you don’t have to have a hierarchy in order to have responsibilities you you can have a hundred people get together and agree on how to get shit done efficiently without any
body being better than anyone else and having more or less rights than anyone else you can actually just organized as a group of people that is another fucking lie that’s been told to us is that anarchy means chaos there’s are not synonymous words Anarchy means not governed it means non-hierarchical governance is the mother of order at the idea that the capitalism in the government was enforced unemployment for at the key price of a certain ways that a certain place and forced famine and War on the order that the word Anarchy is it has been like it’s been done turned it into something else I believe that people live in communities making her own decisions like in the in in Barcelona and I just I got to do during the Spanish Civil War and the communes there when the Civil War is having the government fell apart as provisional government and everything went to shit women started throwing off prostitution
shrugging off machismo I started doing like I should be coming powerful members of society and Scholars teachers and and universities swept the floors and clean the toilet after they were done teaching because they took pride in the universities and the busses ran into the sewers got cleaned and then all of the fascist from both sides from Franco the names of all living freely and starting to spread across the South Western Europe they all just turned their guns on them because they did that people can actually properly function is educated if turned on by the idea that Humanity actually has an incredible desire to get along kids in a Sandlot absolutely are they playing or not bigger than they’re not raising them floors on the shit on them. We make kids beautiful if you let them
I’ve seen kids like beautifully behavior in each other like it if you could give people respect like Tolstoy like he would like even though he was going to be freed them all but he had the school and let the kids teach them tell you what you want to learn today and everybody learn it and get it you can sit wherever you wanted like they had this incredible education at least he made were outlawed understand him and stuff because it was so cool because I did I say people is that what he said
who became a Pringles commercial I’ve always been your life but that means so much more than just hang out the responsible thing really like taking care of your truck taking care of your elderly taking care of yourself not relying on on everybody else to do everything for you but also being able to shrug off shit like sexism and misogyny and racism and his giant things that that we just we just talk to each other to give to to to necessitate power and control over each other great it’s been done what happens if governments come in and assassinate you not on the moon
I’m all for it, for another day or I will need the Mexican restaurant and yes yes I am picking the people that are going up there for the because because you’re going to be a king and you going to get them because there’s people down here I can’t go up there was a bunch of fetuses and hatch them and be one of them too I have to pick cool people to end the hierarchy I have to pick and choose out of the seven billion people you have to pick and choose that’s the right there it’s the only way it’s going to happen is going to happen you pick how do you know what that’s what it was
going to try when you’re pointing at the at the at the insinuation that I’m going to do something is the inherent flaw of doing it I’m not saying how how do you know it’ll be full of hundred people are worried but I’m going to fucking like I’m going to I’m going to fucking take a spectacular attempt I think you just not how about a black people don’t know I don’t know either. I’m going to have to come up with a methodology that’s going to make sure that there’s a some kind of check the right hundred people are you going to take to go to all seven continents am I going to take like it’s going to be English-speaking like it’s going to be an American people like it’s going to be flawed because I want to get it done I don’t I don’t I’m not I’m not going to do it perfectly I’m going to just do it I’m not going to do it perfectly I’m not going to I’m not going to answer to
thousand people gathering around me like
shut it I’m doing it
search people
I think I might stay on Earth for the first few years like Breaking Bad on TV d
when you get up there
you’re not getting a wristband
literally things around here expects signified going to be for one night club and it’s going to be called fuck with Jeff trying what you were waiting it out how can we can we can we try out a little like I try some of this philosophy when we fight a spider run into a problem of you have a hierarchy police there’d be people they’re like oh you’re using wristbands you got to get off of the Moon because it’s because otherwise you’d have hierarchy right but there’s got to be a way the Vulcans figured out how to
people like laughing because Spencer hates Humanity
inspiring to the last Decades of our fucknis the fuck of it just fucking around with the idea that we’re not fuc why not just fine we’re fucked we can be fucked by doing nothing or we can be fucked doing trying I’m just playing devil’s advocate here we’re trying to get this right now
then the idea that you’re not going to become a desperate up there I think is that you need to look into that almost certainly going to be disappointed and rules
what everybody based off of a promise I made ages ago
that’s a really long throwback I wrote down one time I used to carry a journal just write down thoughts and stuff and I wrote down cat named Jason and then my friends like do you want a cat and I was like okay and it was a girl but I need to Jason Jason Jason still with us digging it okay animals on the Move I’m sorry I don’t mean to go back into this.
Randy Kimmel everyday I wish there was a way that we could we could never leave more than a footprint on the other species that we crossed paths with but I believe that until we get there are shipped together that the the most prudent for us to consider the absolute most important thing I don’t know what do you do with challenging you to feel like you don’t figure out how this is going to go I don’t know I don’t like your animals already man is this podcast has now become about colonizing the moon were going to really do it where is that where is that guy where was that guy that worked at the factory what was his name move the laundry which is the mood of Earth
Long Beach Boulevard
he lives in Long Beach and can’t make this show but we’re going to take him to the Moon forget it
nobody from Long Beach if I was born in Long Beach now but you’ve transcended it thank you
thank you baby. Don’t bring it up again I was going to say we make nowhere. Liked our task is to go I’m not even going to do it. Okay don’t dare for 18 years old when he stood up and he took a bow I was just making an observation of spinal problems
at least that was sorry if it came across like that what do you think
Boomerang Boomerang could use some of your efforts we we adore you we love you think you’re coming tonight tonight are
what kind of like the Punjab
it was better than any I had he came up with
last time on harmontown our heroes were in the Hall of the jarl’s Broken City the party hope to gain some assistance and defeating Admiral Darkstar and ask the ER a live doll for aid but the giant noticed right away that they had collected some of the fragments of power and wanted them for himself this remark incense sure be a giant unleashing of verbal teeth Dicky
the giant responded by stopping on Sharpie leaving and dying broken in body but not mind
Moraine however had suffered a broken mind
thank you Spencer and began furiously courting the yaros favor but Christopher called him out on his bulshit for which he also suffered a blow to the head but survived the situation called her until they murdered the dying man Blue Gum after an Infinity of commotion in action set of the same time Court decided to trade shards for a skeleton army and Sharpies life and limb doll resurrected explain sorcerer before sending them on their way
I forgot that was really intense though we did in that throne room or whatever might be my favorite moment guys with a lot of emotions going on there were there was a lot going on
I don’t know why won’t so we have our skeleton army right now and that it seems a little higher are hierarchical right now to have a kind of soldiers we are free but you can totally like still alive the album skeletons like you to come to the Moon
how can I get some free to use the wristband that that’s mine my joke I was joking the wristbands are ironic
play I didn’t understand that you never will and you never will
do you have the wristbands not on your wrist man from Mother Russia like like your grandparents didn’t have hierarchy kind of except they had one big hierarchy over him and his book totally cool
I like them all right all right so I don’t I don’t think we should do that cuz their skeletons that were conjured by a frost giant they’re not people can we name them one through 40 and that’s all the way that’s how we like sort of give him a little bit of that is something you could do all right we went through a lot with his take our army and then press forward 1 through 43 tattoo the numbers on their wrists
all right. Do we not in a bad way directions to Stars fortification that is or what the Giants let’s walk to exit the city and soon you come to a mass of Ice Canyon a great rift in the sheer Cliff of ice you’ll have to pass through the canyon in order to reach Admiral Darkstar no Bridge well now it’s like a it’s like you’re at the bottom of the cliff and there’s like a canyon going through it so so we should walk into the canyon or you can try and climb up I’m sorry I’m here at the bottom of a cliff and the only way through the clip is this Canyon that’s cutting through the cliff otherwise you’d have to go up the cliff
yeah yeah alright with ice and also the 40 skeleton
the eyes are above the nose
well they’re at their neck that’s accurate
inside the canyon you can hear howling wind but you feel cold beginning to sink in your lack of winter clothing is beginning to take its toll on your body is numb in your fingers and biting your skin can we take clothes from the Scarlet heavy black cloaks
how do you say bring me to work by the way what do you think that the closer to 37 you fill out warmer but still it’s not doing it you’re going to have to get out of exposure within the next to no evening or so otherwise you might get the canyon are there any sort of how much time do we have before nightfall you know what time does Grandma’s Crow’s Nest Restaurant, Media sound coming from down from above into the canyon thousands of these strange chittering white shapes moving about as if a cloud of gnats hello fairies are you here to warm us
that’s positive thinking they are not straight for us they’re kind of descending it’s it’s kind of descending into the canyon all around you and you kind of feel the wind whip up feel kind of slashes or cold yet let you have an armlet so we can do things with I have an armload of spring but it’s really I need to be in a spring environment and I can summon armor of thorny Vines and I can command The Vines to blah blah blah and these guys are so small though I don’t know how we would I mean I would like to light a torch okay all right and hold it Aloft all right
you do that if you know it’s it’s the winds whipping around pretty brilliantly but you’ve managed to create like the world’s best Wind Block to light this torch in think that happens but the howling wind at the same time I kind of bites that your guys is you know heels and Exposed Skin you take to damage each
I just got up it’s okay with it when somebody using my tooth fillings of hearing voices to ask that person to repeat what he just shouted out
magic elements
resist elements does who do we have that I don’t think we have any magic people live here no more rain cast resist elements does this work tonight elements and I wrote an article about it
guys feel like you’re resisting LMN all right I can do is going to sound crazy but I think we should put on a show
let’s do it
Auto Show
if she’s going to be Saturday in detail what do you do well, I come down stage and I I I set the stage for a period piece without time to peacocks fell in love from the house from the house of Raisin and then the other camera cranes up 10 points down and it’s a Busby Berkeley shot of me like Esther Williams and I’m swimming around in the snow and all the skeletons are doing a kaleidoscope with their phone
Grand Buffet
I do. I was just a little like a little high school
I rub some snow on my face so I have a white beard and then I and then I open a mine door and I come in and go
how much is Madden our entire campaign
as they’re all they’re so it’s like it’s like a pig shoes production number when everybody was medicine
amazing it’s moving and funny and inspiring and a catchy tune Chris de Burgh we had to come this far for you to be inspired to write a new hit and all it took was putting on a show
thank God we had this idea no rain and at this point I have nothing at all the crying to Smiles suffice it to say it’s a great show line for the shower right the moral of the story The More You Snell let you know
in the context of the show all my God
you really feel not cold anymore the weather
yeah so well let’s see I mean I have more but it’s not that’s a great time too and you want to put a cap around the you want to say how’s it going in your career
no like what’s been the I’m just curious because I came from a different country to go to college and it was you know very well that has it been for you
it’s great I’m just tired are you still going to rain right now do you want to do one final action before we end our little Cliffhanger here it looked looked on your character sheet of summon the other the inner Mall rain in you and I know this is your opportunity to to effect Aaron’s character either. Campaign
still bummed out from the last
I mean what’s going to be better than that.
yo yo rap rap rap rap rap they’re everywhere I’m rapping in the street like a grizzly bear I got your mama is it in the butt I bought your momma so what
thank you in Italian
thank you for my timer 10 Mile 90 on every watch
Spencer Crittenden
everybody here thinking we’re coming from I’ve been anybody here
I’m out. We love you so much I’m Jeff Davis Dan Harmon
no hierarchy I will find you
shut up


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