Episode: 77 – Carpool Diem


Episode: 77 – Carpool Diem


In the wake of Lou Reed’s passing, in which this episode is dedicated to; a sad, stripped down, sleepy and introspective Velvet Harmontown. Plus, the introduction of Harmontown’s new character “Johnny Jackhammer.” In DnD, the gang is helpless to watch Yearch “less than zero.”


I’m going to start off on a sad note but for a good reason
Larry baby
yeah rest in peace.
What’s a groove on him for a moment
she wants to know how to begin a comedy show but fuk it Lou Reed passed away this morning I was going to take this one to have jelly
and it’s Saturday song themes
walking dead stop the king of sadness
all right
especially sleepy sad Kermit job and it’s not really for dying my girlfriend’s out of town and I don’t know if I’ve ever been this this long I can’t remember what’s been like 4 days and every day together when we started hanging out so when is she back Tuesday or something next to the front door one for each day that she’s gone that I can open in
my segment tonight called things Dan arm is not allowed to complain about my girlfriend loves me too much I can’t keep up I can’t how am I supposed to match something like that I’m reading that off of one of the gifts that she got me the first night which is my new gold I Harmon which is his kind of changed class kind of affair with I guess I remember to that I’m not allowed to complain about is this thing it’s sucks
I mean functional gorgeous it looks like it looks like exactly what you want function on the front to the IHOP in with my Silhouette on it it’s it’s held together with the pens that when you pull the pin out of Springs open but it’s one of those slippery shity twisty Penzey of the twist to get the ink nub of Spence and also the paper is like that paper that there’s a random spot that won’t take the ink you know what I’m talking about it’s a piece of shit
yeah for me to be the deal-breaker is the quality of the paper you on good paper that takes ink well I mean yeah so she loves me a lot but she have you can’t have you written any pants down and that one girlfriend loves me too much is the number one thing but I kept I kept having to start over because the paper sucks I had other stuff on there that I know can’t remember it’s going to be at that show cuz of this time I’ve sat in my backyard that’s so she got me some throwing that my place from my neighbor’s place
this is really low fence
the fence you’re so fucking up your own fence I probably your neighbors fence.
If you’ve ever played darts before you guys but 20% of the darts go over the top of the board so apartment can we take an actual kitchen knives like you were just throwing them in a door in my apartment yet or a while
destroy the wall your place as circumstances were booze and the other truck
will you take it like a bucket and drawing a circle and then we are like betting a dollar throw came home I wish I got up went to work but I didn’t get up I stayed up all night with you guys open my apartment’s front door confetti fell because one of the many dumb drunk things you guys did was set like a trap to read puppy
adult swag laughing or crying because I guess confetti and fun of my head but it was like we’re celebrating this is alcoholism this is a movie of the week all right so sleepy sad and it’s it looks like the attendees I agree I think there’s not packed to the rafters here is the Halloween likely that he knows what to do. Was going to dress up really joyfully on the day after Halloween just dressing like a cat for two weeks in a row they don’t they don’t know what to do there just like I have a tail and I just in case
percentage with me or she look like
but you didn’t want to dress a Spencer when I suggested the tall dresser Spencer because that wouldn’t involve makeup and women’s clothes
what’s the name you keep pushing for second year of David Bowie in a row I wasn’t putting you shouldn’t dress up like your friends Galaxy dresses women that’s all I know you were Snow White one year I was but that was because my girlfriend at the time had a Snow White costume from her oversized cornering you about that so I thought this was cute the squeaky train rolling
hey hello how’s it going you guys are you
are you nice and sleepy Spencer I’m pretty I’m pretty sure everybody got their headache on a sleepy headache 6 a.m. in Fairhaven Washington and flu and only moments ago I woke up took a two-hour drive to Seattle flu went straight to our D&D game was it was you guys it was just driving I don’t wake up the cast some sort of spell are you sleeping people’s problems who’s who’s depressed tonight
and I’m not asking like he’s got a problem like you don’t need you just say if you’re depressed if you’re feeling like at the bottom of your biorhythmic curve nobody’s ever going to know I don’t want I don’t want people stepping into the role I’ll pretend to be depressed most beautiful Aurora Borealis barometer are you downtown because I had I had kind of a headache all day I didn’t you know what I’ve been playing this video game that she got for me that was her second gift to me or Saturday is gift was this Ellen Page Willem Dafoe you video game where you just like it’s one of those video games I don’t expect you to understand this but
company that made that’s a deep brain or whatever it is hard rain heavy rain has Ellen Page on paper it should be fun at all because you’re it really is as much when you’re watching a movie and I just kind of invite you to tell him to move along with your joystick you can tell from observing what’s happening that it probably doesn’t matter what you do basically because you can’t die who’s shooter is it a thriller what sort of a it’s kind of a Sci-Fi Japanese I don’t know how to describe the genre of the adventure you’re on your protagonist in a in a film and it’s a sort of spiritual dramatic Thriller
about about supernatural powers and stuff and you’re going to go through this 25 hour movie that gas for the video game I really wasn’t in the mood to play Grand Theft Auto III I love Grand Theft Auto it’s working great but I kind of like it sort of thing that I knew would probably take two days I just put it in and played it in my monogram PJ’s that she also got me and she also got me dark chocolate peanut butter cup I miss her so much but I was Ellen Page all weekend maybe that’s why I’m depressed I was just I was just Alan Page with like this spiritual entity following me that I could use to open drawers and find closed cuz I was just feeling of a feeling a little depressed can you choose to be willing to follow these weird
he does not translate well to video game Ellen Page work very well whatever group they put on your face whatever ping pong balls a tape to your head to capture your hair movement and stuff she made a good protagonist riveting and get all of the bad things about Willem Dafoe come through in a video game in the humanities left behind and its synthetic William Dafoe is a 90% skull is there a window when he and Willy William Sadler we’re separated through the screen door of actors Sadler got a lot of the humanity if only got so much that Stripped Away Again by this game so anyways
the headache is missing a family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Blackstone amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest film nerdiest film nerves like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
it’s a week to the lady came up that was weird I loved it so tired of being a fucking bad person so tired emotionally tired she got into a personal submarine and then I went to Tokyo and I think one of the writers told me that somebody wrote an email saying she’s resigned from the fandom or something you have a Christ complex but your Christ, Christ complex met hers and she’s like I just wish people would stop asking me what I thought about this stuff but that’s what the whole thing was for sale
like she hated you would love a community and hated being silly and needed to be anticipated back from that was the right word should have occurred to me what sometimes happens at harmontown is it is it in our haste to like have a dialogue with forget that only a kind of die-hard harmontown person knows that coming up on stage is not is not a bad thing it’s not like it’s not coming up on to a witness stand it’s not like you’re under arrest for something and I was a little thrown by the fact that come up smiling I expected when I when I say it’s snowing so here I expect that to be the equivalent
so here is just like what I don’t know how do you spell the bed I don’t know I don’t know the first thing that came up in the Red Cross looking kind of posture p.m. it’s a shame it’s a bummer I kind of like I’ve taken the opportunity was like you know what I got to do so many people I’ve talked to UPS. I’m still on Twitter stream of garbage really really mix it up or like write an essay about how someone should be crucified or something on Twitter it so it doesn’t work I’ve been trying to wean myself off
such a sad thing to me like I was learning to interact with people on computers and always wanted to write television in in about an LA television in an era when a girl grown up on was actually starting to unpack television and ended up at the crossroads where I had the first TV show that was sort of so so loved by a previously unmeasured demographic that it actually was able to stay on the air but at the same time was sort of like part of a product my I don’t know where I started buying into that I don’t know what was fantasy what was I just always knew
sandwiches and I would rather die than not be able to talk about how I feel an especially not in this medium that I understand where I can truly express myself which is the typed word and so that’s always going to be a deal-breaker for me with the tragic irony of this whole thing is I coming around to finally like I’m back on the on the on the page now have all this like is in my hand standing outside the internet going on what happened I guess I’ll just I’ll just go to my house and my slippers in like maybe I’ll buy a boat I don’t really like and I’ll just be like Instagram cuz all my life was sitting in forums talking about jet skis were built so that you could not take a selfie right
that in carpool diem we came up with purple the end of the carpool today we were ashamed and nobody has come up with some of my don’t know so all of that.
Sure, why are you throwing it to me
carpool today said that the carpool day literal man our pool day today is carpool DM cuz I got my vehicle is that how you use it or you like hey man carpool the DM because that’s wrong
carpool to diem
I’m not suggesting I’m working advertising
the affair question unless you know unless you were branding something
but what it would have people that don’t get on the internet do you like today I wish I would suggest you to start picking up falconry
yeah you know you create joints and would and then join them together anyway together definitely the dovetail no no
because I had you pegged for a mortise and Tenon man you know that was a thing I was trying to go for a run my brain couldn’t think of I when I worked at my book job I actually went through a ton of joinery books and I knew about the mortise and Tenon joint it but I couldn’t think of it now because I’ve been doing all this other stuff at jobs Brothers one was tall and Too Short
do they call it joinery the carpenter I have no idea I think he’s like when you’re not using like nails and shit slots in the Way You Lie part of of of covid-19 in kisumu I think they use glue are you saying words to strangers that you never will meet you and hate you for no reason for something to do with this time but that’s what a hobby is energy off of the internet which I don’t think you know what two medium like you should if I’m true to my lip service like I should be getting pleasure from putting it out like expressing myself but then I have to somehow become a person that actually doesn’t look at the response and it doesn’t like pay attention like never clicks the little
in the circle on the Twitter client I wish to sometimes people are saying like hey you help me or can I ask you a question but then just like kind of exhale without inhaling that’s taking back what I wondering is so what do I substitute cuz I was like sucking energy off of sayings like like like what do you do in normal life when you want to get energy can’t get on the internet and suck your little phone I don’t think I think they’re pretty much like me I don’t know if it’s going to rain in his hand to talk to strangers 91 – 2009 for a community started up you said last week last week
asking for hugs like I get to use saying like you’re putting that stuff out there for the response and it’s it’s it’s not you putting things out if you receiving something back from them it’s you you have a relationship with I wouldn’t have because I like I couldn’t do it like you you want the response you can’t hear a thousand Bishop raisin hear one bad thing and you’ll upset about that because you’re looking for that information or if you’re trying to triangulate who you are based on Strangers inputs what’s the worst thing you can say about you because I want to move in that direction because I didn’t think it was things which is like saying Tire shoe do anything different but you have a huge like energetic
first show of the highwomen tour when I guarantee she been affected by something and she said like that hurt my feelings and you said I’m sorry that you were hurt and she was like are you are you sorry that I’m here are you sorry about what you said and I gave it was all about behavior modification like you don’t want you to change anything changed anything we don’t want to have to change we all must we all do have to attack if you want to grow but anytime anybody asks you to do a person that never has to change what if I want to become like Godzilla you had the chance that the most to change into Godzilla so I cut myself off and I slowly mutate into a giant lizard that breathes fire
so you were the only thing that I am as a person that doesn’t want to be told what to do that’s not true that likes flower pressing you is that you hate being told to change but changes is adaptation in evolution it doesn’t mean changing Identity or changing essence you know you could change you could learn to soften this about yourself or enhance out of myself. That’s not becoming a bad version of you or being bullied or bossed around what is what is baffling in what is that what is that mean every every every fifth time you have something on your mind you don’t say it is that what those out that is saying what somebody needs to hear and saying what the first thing that came to your mind was you can save both things at once you can say you can express yourself without saying a hurtful thing to somebody that you care
I know that I truly do. I don’t think of myself as a lot of hurtful things you know that you have the capacity to absolutely hurt somebody without meeting at all we all did we all have a capacity like you can say something that you could have said what are you saying you’re asking a man because we don’t know we don’t know how to do you know I just say hey there there was just be a human being for a second and don’t have an egotistical reacting to something and need like reinforcements at all fucking times like we think that like
male egos are so fucking fragile and so brittle and so shity and we think that women have the power of yourself to not be a cock like what when you are I are in a bad way my blood sugar is low if it’s been a long drive and I need a fucking sandwich I become a German deli I become a fucking a cranky weirdo and I will say things I don’t mean but I can ideally you learn to go like this is that feeling I get when Jeff Davis is about to become an absolute unsupportable cont for no fucking reason to end before I say the hurtful thing that I can do like I will just like
bunch of fucking garbage that a therapist tells you like what is this such a bunch of like business casual cope with Society like a is that really is that the way to get through the day today. Take a deep breath and maybe not do that as much as said that I would say it’s about being around people that you respect more than yourself if you look down everybody ever like a better Behavior if you treat people as he always aim down and whenever you’re cranky vulnerable defensive whatever people people whose opinions you covet sandgren Craven an end once you start saying it to make people that I look up to
look like look up to me and if it’s not softening and running off edges of your personality that you aspire to be or not to be around
he burps and help by looking at it I like that philosophy in the back of the arms folded going like like like kind of like having this Phantom Heckler in your head I claim to an idiot you know trying to make it easy it’s like you like Imagining the fat guy is no agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks or even if it’s just a fictional character somebody that you look up to right I wouldn’t want him to think I was smart all right we got that covered but we’re all going to be a good people for now on
nobody ever wants to live in a world where the change you want you to ever have to like choke up on the bat and not be full Forest
I’m awesome crazy like
ramp ins Dan Harmon we want you to always be firing from the hip Jack Palance and Shane because you’re a good writer and we can’t you can’t write well if you’re thinking about what people think about what you’re going to say you need to say whatever you want to say but I just have to be to be a higher version of you can Elevate yourself above certain behavior that you yourself are not proud of that you do you say things that you regret later on and we drink and we say things but ideally the be a point when you stop saying things that are asinine or adolescent are pure Isle are or hurtful and I like to think that it for now
I can’t hurt people’s feelings anymore guess what I’m fucking way better at it than I ever was like I can now just be dismissive somebody and it’s more hurtful so I can we do have to like grow a bit and use our brains are involved in select I’m stupider than I was when I was 19 I was way more connected and why smarter than I went when I was when I was young. The party is old but contrary I can be I can be a person that I wouldn’t have liked when I was 19
so like it’s not about me stopping being Jeff Davis it’s about me like learning to finesse it a little bit and make it sexier know you don’t like that it’s very complicated when when your relationship is with other people like that a lot of us in La I think we want relationships with strangers we come out here seeking a hug from strangers even some of us to stand up to attack but we were kind of weird I’m James Dean I don’t care who’s watching but you’re not making it even if you were people use brick walls you want people to say what a good brick wall you did a good job
the the extreme personality that really wants validation really drives you that you have this in a relationship with strangers have this this weird saying that that becomes like this feedback loop complicated thing about all of this is that we all give herself so much more credit than then we think we do like everyone comes into every exchange almost like as an underdog everybody thinks that they are the one that needs to stick over to yell at you and think of you as much as I look at a girlfriend I think we look at that everybody is holding power over us are all trying to wrest power away from each other and that’s why relationship relationship
we did everybody’s sticking up for the fleet we said last week that we talked about Diana where they want to find out if you think they’re smart if they come to me and find out if I think they’re cool what do you want from other people when you go folks after the show when we are on tour walking on the street from Aaron’s when is it that you want from them what are you being weird about you always tell me that there was a reason why I was born that I was I don’t know I just want to have the kids see you’re not at the casino like you know contribution value to be loved I mean I don’t know I think I think the I think the part of my condition is like that that love
like I think that like their circuits that go through my circuit board that are there’s parts of the board that are like have this carbon scoring on them on it and then sit on there is either through detour or I can intellectualize love I think of Love is a thing that is very conditional is very like you know it’s a thing that you don’t just get it because you’re someone’s son a comment section on the internet what are you looking for are you here he’s amazing he did a great job like he’s really really good but he’s he’s a fraud he’s overrated he’s pretentious he doesn’t need it he thinks that he’s special on he’s not he’s a completely ordinary completely lucky
who just wandered into my attention and he does not have any right to have it so how do you feel right now do you feel that you have the right to have that you’re not too big for your boots that you would deserve all this are changing as I keep walking forward and keep ending up in different climates I think that’s the thing you can’t you can’t you’re never going to win that game empirical you can’t measure it you will only that’s a co-dependent like you’re going like you have to fill this unfillable hole and you can’t you have to actually self-actualize and go oh I know I know what I do and what I don’t do I’m comfortable with it most of all I do my work and I stepped back I just do it because I like to do and I’m done doing it now and I stepped back and that’s what a perfect person does but the weird irony is that a lot of perfect people now and they don’t tend to get that pin out
that you know we all think of ourselves as underdogs and I think we all look at other people like I can look around the room right now you’re Stranger than your eye contact but I don’t know what their thing is they might be making I paid $10 for that say they might be sitting with my brother
sleeping on my couch and just complaining about his parents like you’d be freaked out to find out that your dad was talking about like he’s a better writer than me like you’re a genius or half his age look like it’s weird to find out I’ll look up to each other that we all look at other human beings and their head to fucking we all aspire to other people and I wish I could I wish I wish I wish I could do that damn thing with my face at that guy does all the time
I wish I could I wish I could had the balls to wear that shirt from my sympathies
you’re the shittiest Don Rickles and actively oppressed and couldn’t do anything about it some where everything is a mirror and it’s very interesting to look at it like if I could give any advice to anybody and live your life that you look up to that are smarter than you give me the smartest person in your group of friends you have a bad group of friends you should be intimidated by your significant other you should look up to her or him and we should all be working with people that are better at the things we want to be good at but it’s amazing to find out that you that really
but you have an incredible mixed with an incredibly high but it’s crazy to find out that like we’re all really really concerned that were worthless
you think that would unify our unification of people who want to feel worthless because I think it’s like a lot of it I hate to use the word nerd but like nerd culture geek culture intellectual culture is is a bunch of people but I’m pretty sure that I’m doing just as good as I can and we think about it more than the the unexamined think about it too much Vonnegut said what if you examine your life and it comes up with the garbage
how do you win for the people who have the stakes are high we actually care about how the world I think the people that are the what are the jocks the people that are the dominant of the people that are in Congress digging around our country and our Constitution and consider what they fucking look like they I think they think that by bullshiting around the room I think about the archetype of the old white man in the suit that controls everything in owns everything I think the the thing that makes that archetype of Ellen is the is the one missing ingredient where that person doesn’t do that thing by the way because I’m really concerned that I didn’t do it I would be worthless to me like I’m coming from this place Hungry Hungry Hippo
like my my hippo comes from the place of cuz that game.
After 1982 Battle Bots is desiigner on the principal thank you that if you are sincere if you’re transparent you’re going to have a ton of problems you’re going to constantly be made fun of people going to be going like what what did you just say you’re punished for being just said it wrong and you going to have to deal with that go through that Surety for the transparent person is like the deal with it your transparency if it includes like an image of you having your feelings hurt because you’re so transparent is not true transparency it’s a it’s a it’s another stained glass window with you as a saint and it’s and it’s distorting the light that’s coming through so it’s like but the transparency is just I don’t know I don’t know from a good person or a bad person but I got it I got to be honest
I know for sure that thinking one thing and saying another may seem in the moment like it’s a really good idea but it’s a really slippery slope order with being an intellectual
if you think about things. Things are fucking dragons think about everything too much right now called Johnny Jackhammer the man in the street
it’s open the window and then talk down to him hey Johnny Jackhammer what are you doing down there
hey I’m just checking on the street on a journey Jackhammer why is your scene country music
Clinton congressman’s or whatever you tell me to Jackhammer street that you can my phone you know you know what that’s cuz that’s some blue collar wisdom
sometimes things aren’t as complicated as we as we break ourselves with thinking Johnny jackhammer
God damn it get in the car and get out
God damn it to me I thought we found a hero I thought we found the key to our nation’s lock Johnny just getting the car and go back to the hotel
Johnny Jackhammer Stern jackhammering in the car went through the floor of the car and the car flipped up like the Nazi Raiders
I’m just flip that hit a gas station which as we all know is full of gas and will explode on impact because Johnny didn’t think of himself as an underdog in his head he still had one little secret. He put himself above other races to your will over the people that we all come in low or punish her coming out underneath other people you know you well Spencer over there
I’m over here my back hurts you guys it’s fucked up if anyone’s been looking at me like I’ve had to take a leg this guy is moving around it that’s what I’m doing my back just hurts like a mother I know it’s just I can’t like a comfortable right now I can lay down lay down David milch wrote All of Deadwood from the floor like facing a bunch of people in the front rows back are the Bills back hurts Jays back hurts
podcast listeners everyone’s holding up their hands
I’m going to get the number for this woman Destiny who
I think I have her number Chris McKenna started bringing her in like season 2 or 3 on casting like when the when the community writers would have to do a couple couple of all-nighters or something I would like to bring in this this masseuse Destiny and she’d set up like a little masseuse table in a vacant office in the writers would go and I take it I can’t I don’t like the idea of someone who’s who’s touched multiple people professionally actually seeing my make it back I don’t I don’t like I know it’s a phobic send it all to you like you’re not a Huggy person or a touchy person making me look dirty
I got a girl hugs me and that’s how I made a girl stinky like with Aaron or someone take a lot of showers while I’m courting her and then and then we move in together and then the night just to get back to work and I was force fields of flies around me that I and I and I keep thinking like I will deal with this in a little bit another paycheck
is he not watch it healthy subconscious or semi-conscious way to repel is it a way of keeping distance
yes probably if you let people in physically like to hug you to hold you
that goes back to some serious Lake Charles and stuff I would imagine but also like that
the funny it’s hilarious
we’re killing five people dance trying to keep me away from this conversation Jackhammer as a way to keep me from getting away
I repress my boy to get up and hug you then all the jokes in the world take a picture of all the jokes coming to get you
just coming in for a hug
you don’t like it but it’s not comfortable for you if you want to let me know that you okay
podcast gold
I will tell you this though I’m never going to wash this cheek again
when it’s intellectualize like I went to the communicon that last weekend the interesting thing is somebody will breach the bubble like somebody else I will just say can I have a hug or something to make a request like who would who would say no to that and it’s like because they made this request as like well if I make you stinky with my hug like you asked for it you can’t go home and come play get get on your blog and go like this and then I asked he made me so gross I woke up Krause has solicited hug and then you can I have a can I have a hug and it’s real slick that you can feel people’s bodies kind of trembling a little bit cuz they’re like
it’s nice
could you feel could you feel my body trembling dead
all right so we would delving into your psychosis volume miles repressed memories and they look up coffee break and Jackhammer is it 6:50 if I don’t check in
Johnny Johnny Johnny
is your is your father

you can’t Jackhammer way through stories at the Jackhammer building okay yeah
the word okay I got my friends
Johnny what Dad I called your Foreman a month ago I found out you’ve been fired for 2 years. Cameron
but I still got the ammo
the only thing you’re jackhammering jackhammering is your is your relationship to the people that are closest to the people that care about you the most you’re a new person because you realize you shouldn’t put your pee
my asshole when you’re dating me I have my Jackhammer you have yours
yeah and all I got between you and me is a mile of crack pavement Johnny I’m dying I have liver cancer
again I’m sorry
I’m sorry about jackhammering Uranus with my pancake with a long time ago was a different time it was a different person to be connected to lay some pavement between you and I that is unbroken so I can walk over to like men like adults and shake hands
dissolve to
JFK Airport
I’d like a one-way ticket to Syracuse please sorry for all the pennies
I’m going to see my dad sure we don’t take pennies at JFK Airport
thank you for flying through if you’re if you’re flying from New York to Syracuse
currently on the most expensive choice you could have made
your movies are Lawless with Matthew McConaughey in the Steve Jobs movie
Steve Jobs movie was pretty good
Dad it’s me Johnny
I don’t have no Jackhammer right now.
Terminal to a CD
it’s so much more real than pavement if I only had an appointment Go the Distance
I wish I wasn’t dying Johnny I didn’t want you to use a jackhammer again
I pretended to be dying to prove you didn’t need to use the jackhammer
daily beloved we are gathered here today to lay to rest
Reginald jackhammer
I thought you were I thought you were fake doing it
I don’t have a time I’m injection
I thought you were doing it for our radio play a real Jackhammer Jackhammer, Hermantown after hours
so are we doing notes about our Empress all right let’s let’s crank up some some some role playing right now what are you doing I don’t think I mean we might be up at like 8:20 yeah well and never spoke to you again yeah
I guess yeah Camille’s not here Aaron’s not here he’s not here even Tyler he’s not jogging
shirts man Bi-State bills got the blocked it’s kind of a satin thing with some gas shop in Boston long time ago before the close will trash in New York sorry
it’s good you didn’t offend me
how do you wash something like that it’s kind of different right cleaner
you know Jeff how often do you dry clean your suits there all the time that sucks do you know that kills you know it keeps them good I mean you know dry cleaning involves tons of coffee again lecture soda
what what’s your dry cleaner dry cleaners a couple wonderful Korean ladies who take care of everything I own this what’s the brand are they located what are the hours and location of everyone that listen to this is going to go get me to get my suit to get like $50
find out next time
do you guys want your sheets yes I want is a Hidden Gem that says it’s a local secrets and if I told everybody they say when do you need this if I give him a little like little luck and go come back at 5 and I told the whole world that might infringe my ability to get my shit right when I wanted I just don’t think that they don’t use caustic chemicals I think they definitely do that they certainly involved in the reasons
Spencer what you describe the monster and it doesn’t called the Costick dry cleaner okay hundreds of press who’s you see it bubbling pinks and blues filled plastic bottles you see a rising and falling surfaced of caustic boiling bubbling that’s all I don’t know then really build anywhere
I didn’t deserve that thanks guys again that I don’t have a toothbrush toothbrush you you brush your suit down after you wear it you present yourself you know you don’t have to clean that is centered ever got your time to take a vacation off of my cock for 5 seconds I just I just admire a good suit you know and I don’t want to want to see him shredded buy some me no poison here is and it’s never shown any like a simple I don’t know so tired I have three
where you wear a suit next time I’m in town I mean if you guys want them
I wonder if they fit I don’t wear them very often that one of them has a real suit and two of them are Wells Fargo’s Goodwill suit which I don’t know what that doesn’t make any Goodwill’s my weight fluctuate so much and I’m so old every time I have to wear a suit and it’s just this is a bunch of dry cleaning bags cuz God knows when it’s like a nose like they always mixed up and like like I have to pee all gray charcoal gray. I can’t do this one is from when I was
it’s not good advice but it’s a really expensive suit at your Optimum lights and you’re fighting away your college way. Have it tailored make it fit you and then it will force you like I want to wear that suit and fucking two weeks because it’s Thanksgiving or whatever you and you got like like I can’t let the suit out 5 in
before the ability to wear a suit would motivate me to nudity what is that suit you’re talking about my teeth and I don’t want that to happen again and to make men look good as well as our dresses for women stockings and six men have their their fetish guys look good in suits even if you’re not in perfect shape is a different Taylor is there for you go buy a nice Italian suit if you’re a little bit overweight and you look like fucking marchello mastriani all the sudden end at $150 to
depending how the Eaton Highway
I don’t know the game
directions to the probably just lashed out at you at the end of her no reason disenfranchised. I am lion tamer to spell disappear
what what my little bit what was your band in school Sisters of Mercy became beat the steak though
I like I like I like growth
I don’t like it up my beef iPad game Incorporated so I can’t beat the fungus alright speaking of breath with spiders where were we in DND where were you I’ll tell you that interrupted at work so I know how bad it is
where are you born
Ray from Bill Northeast from a place that people seeing you or what was it that you want people to respect intelligence received his intelligence and just being like someone who’s right about stuff like I don’t want to come off as being correct a year like I just asked me a question and I want the one with the right answer cuz I was going to say
it was a weird thing for a bunch of bunch of smart people to be worried about their intelligence which is so often the case with such as personality type of the internet is a bunch of people that going like
well I’d like to over spot you on that because there’s like 5,000 definitions of intelligence like some people want to be like I don’t I don’t want anyone to think that I went to Harvard quite the contrary I want people to think that I’m an autodidact I want people to see I want people to think that I’m you know a man of the people that have been smart about it is my my biggest fear in the world it is is is is pretentiousness like that is the about myself that is my biggest nightmare is is somebody saying you think you’re this but really you’re this like that’s the most hurtful thing you that you think your 6 ft tall you’ve been four feet tall this whole time like like mental or in any way but you think they’re like like you’re so fucking off the worst version of you that people might think that you are like you think you’re what
what would you like people to think that you are what version of you are disgusting caustic selfish monster which I know that I said that right there is no stomach like that you can recognize as possible to be both of those things like on a good day or this in the bad think of that but it doesn’t take one once I taken away from the other right
right why would think at the same time you could be both things like Han Solo has no love for the Empire but he is also not going to be Duke didn’t buy any kind of cause necessarily he doesn’t want to lose want to be tricked into giving his life for some bullshit but he’s he cares about people grab I don’t know like I want people to understand that I am like first and foremost a big fan of our species you want to be a contributor Optimist that I that I that I think we can do better than that I’m that I’m a champion of of of all of us that I’m not like that archetype of the troll under the bridge she was just like who would slit your throat if he could get away with it just because he he doesn’t feel as loved you know I like I don’t want to be that contribute to that cycle I want to be I want to be known as a person that said
we can do better I Believe in Us I think we can do it
and you can be that person and also when you’re in when you get cornered you can be a pessimist you can how you can be I think curmudgeons and Phoenix are people that are the most optimistic people in the world like I didn’t really look around and so you can be a pessimistic Optimist you can you can do both of us by Bill Winston what’s the version of intelligence that you want people to perceive in you has been ship
can you be intelligent intelligence is the statue that’s dedicated to you as a as a as a thinker so I couldn’t you join.
It would be great if I if I felt like I had an incisive with I would be very happy
the ball the answer is very ballsy
cuz I took the potentially embarrassing to say I wish I was witty
okay we’re waiting
I think it’s better than my fear that people don’t think I hope the people think I’m intelligent that are certain kind of genre that they receive them I was at Peabody start shutting up like a different things than one person when you listen to recording one person which murder
I totally would you want people to think you’re totally pretentious pretentious I love that yes
which is what
hello Humanity in the whole Navy thing at the mall or just never want to contribute to
anyone have an orchestra
DJ system cost in Houston
I never
want to confuse
cheesy but anyone ever having a bad day or thinking less of humanity because of me I don’t want to be the reason why anybody ever is going now it’s just ironic cuz I’m so often the reason but but then I said that I have to think about that person’s a bad person like I I don’t want to be I so much fear like somebody saying this room would be so much better if that person would leave like I won’t allow that to happen I will not be the unwelcome guest I will not to the point where I got my own face I would like I would I would I would jump out of a skylight I would I would I would I would blow up the fucking building before I went to it very same thing right I’ll get you can want to not do that and then that’s why I didn’t do it because you’re like
not you that’s a big bats
not wanting to be the reason why that’s a big fight with somebody when somebody implies if somebody goes like you that’s that’s because you you hurt me you hurt me because you were talking you hurt me because you said that thing like I just like packing a hawk see an enemy like like weird toxins film and prepare me for battle ironically because if that’s true if I said something that made you suffer we have to figure this out if I if I have to pound your face into the Earth and change the axis of the planet I will prove that you are wrong I did not say something to ruin your order that your dad needed to be ruined and then actually helped you or anything has been happening for 40 years
I think actually I’m kind of trying to describe is what I would call Tee most intelligent there’s a lot of psychoanalysis involved but it might be a fear of like this thing like I’ve been mistaken for diagnosing myself would not do that but the idea of empathy like from talking to people on the Spectrum like what I find is that the thing that unites those people is the feeling of frustration because they find themselves in situations where they are the cause of everyone’s to spare and they find out all too late that they have not participated in some
receive social custom they have their underwear around their ankles at the urinal in kindergarten today they’re holding have a booger on your finger on the playground words backwards there they’re not doing something right that they didn’t even know they were even picking up on having to do right until the end what they do pick up on is a circle of people around them with their fingers in their face saying you don’t have to get out the playground get out of here and like that phobia like that that would that’s the thing that would result in somebody like autocorrect hang in there adult life for a making sure that everyone understands that you know I’m here to help I’m here to
I’m here to make sure everybody feels better about themselves I’m not trying to hurt you when I talk to story telling your story telling what will be the goal that you could like to help people with what’s the point of stories was a point of watching people walk through the stories and be punished for their Humanity get through it become Heroes because of it like what’s what’s what’s the the gift life is what it is it’s just the most basic thing in the world like League weeks when you wake up in the morning there seems to be so much wrong and stories are the things that we
tell each other to let us know that that all these things that you feel about about how fucked-up everything is like that that’s actually that is how it is so that it resonates so that you go look because that’s what it is that’s if you look at a painting you know in the Louvre and you start to burst into tears because you somebody like put something on a canvas that you thought could only ever exist in your brain or a brain and you suddenly like versus a tears cuz you’ve been connected with and it’s a bent it over from Hermes story is a case a case of the Remo Williams tapping on the wrist of like kind of like like like tapping in the rhythm of life and death with you
but you understand that when you woke up this morning and you felt bipolar you felt like why am I in a good mood that I’m in a bad mood why if I was a good mood why did I was still sad song why is my mom’s death of famous fucking up my job right now what why why do I hate the people I love what do I love the people I hate why why am I depressed why can’t I get anything done why why am I different why why am I scared to lake lake everyone’s walking around in there a Pizza Hut uniforms and they’re up and down the sidewalk and they all seem to have their ship together and I turned on the TV and everyone is driving start encounters Minot high heel shoes and everyone seems to know what’s going on and Rachel know what’s going on and it’s doing it does look at the bad person you keep going this conveyor belt this concrete jungle it did put the pressure on you you feel like because you have is turmoil in your brain
I’m the only one walking around with this secret that we’re all fucked up that everything is going to hell stories like you know let you know no Ulysses had that happen to him he felt that way he he went to this place and like that that that they there’s a it’s a way of articulating at inarticulable fact that just when things feel their worst that is actually the thing that is giving you the most strength and all that kind of crap is it for for me is like like Community stories are always about people versus the system it’s always about reminding you that no matter how fucked-up you feel you you’re supposed to be the way you are you’re not supposed to actually grow and change your your your supposed to actually before we ever get to that point the first and foremost the most subversive Motorola got you could do is be proud of yourself the way you got out of bed that morning that’s when people go around the the circle of the stories like experimenting with the ID
but maybe they can improve themselves for the sake of of of improving their life for their system approved by the people they look up to come back around to the conclusion that they should come clean it been honest about the fact that they felt like piece of shit that’s that’s what stories are to answer your question for God’s sake let’s all right
last time our heroes were all so tiny Robo spider spider pork quickly left the spider creature with a dagger strapped to his face tape to teleport on to the Beats back and blasted it with electricity or Fe with a stomach Will Rain fire Darrow after Arrow at the spider monster when does a decent success rate of change tactics and slashed at the Beast with his mighty great storm will Sharpie began looking through his backpack he retrieved Arata Frost and sprayed ice at the lava below forming a cool crust then the wizard turned is Rod on the spider blasting it in the face with razor-sharp ice fragments that finished the job and sent for a p crashing down onto the lava Crusher
hello cork overtaken by Victory left lower himself down but slipped and fell if not for quick are Sharpies quick thinking and the button staff cork wouldn’t have lived another day
Admiral Darkstar with sure to be close but just how close I don’t know I don’t know that
so you guys are up in this web chains after just killing this guy there’s lava beneath you climb up and see if it came through yeah you know is that there are four statues with eyes that recessed when you press the button you guys are now adjusting the chains and there’s only lava below
yeah Bill oh you noticed that’s in lava now getting the moment I climb up the chains and start looking for Outlets above us on the ceiling there’s a sort of metal hatch door but there doesn’t seem to be any kind of handle or knob on it it looks like it’s made of several sections Harrisonburg Euro get up there and check it out you see what looks like a on the left side of one of these door panels
there’s a whole I fuck it I knew he was going to do that don’t do that if we find anything lately fingers by crafting kit that we can borrow from that certain size hole is drunk and just wondering if it’s the size of this describe the size of the other Hole by the door like a human’s finger if I don’t know how compares to a halfling one
I’m going to grab an arrow in and jam it up in there but the arrow is like how do you step in their breaks off the stone bits of the stone Arrow this is a stone are on this instance in case anyone is wondering if there is some continuity you know things are they are they are they are they clean my screen clean triangles like there’s like to like Teeth of the thing that’s all of its teeth come together really nothing exists like that in nature
you haven’t met my ex-wife anyway
Pamela’s arrow in it and you feel you feel like a thing that it hits as you as you stick it in a way it felt like something
now what
play hit a metal something in the pool it’s not like broken off it’s just that the tips side of the arrow has broken off it still attached turn it
turning it with all your strength you can muster up not very much of all your strength I guess and it just doesn’t budge what a rotary paint your the Barbarian but at the strength narrow shaft before activating mechanism assembly of triangles grinding Rumble if they create a hole in the ceiling
yeah as long as nothing’s coming out of the hole
all right coming out of the hole to the whole you scramble up clamor scramble at the otherwise it’ll just be copying you but you can’t run all right, Lizzie is anyone else going to move and I can but
you all move in various specific ways and find yourself in a new room this room is strangely dark as if light were magically dampened however Lisa magically damp and light does not extend dim Crimson Flames that seemed to eat held up in the middle are like they’re floating or some shit is crazy crazy it’s just magic and also black buckets for whatever reason you can see end drills and blood smeared across the floor in the center of the Carmen is a mound of Ashes across the room on the arch of across the room
how high in the air these Flames gloating about 7 feet tall and probably grab one seeing what do you look at with them the room everything
you look
they look like they’ve been ripped apart somehow I’m some of them have white marks on them but none of them look like sleister like stabbed or anything Pleasant also the buckets are full of blood seems a bit
much yeah detect any traps traps side of the room with the stairwell I was mentioning earlier was you hear footsteps and then you see that you seen before random circumstances
hehehe Ewoks interview in his life what are we got the chain in a lava room was in Chains yeah where are you I was I mean I was taking care of these guys scouting ahead I mean yeah she’s just your age I mean you guys kill stuff right there seems like yeah perception check okay
what are you looking for with a dog like that new event
it looks like he’s either hiding something from you guys I take my sword at his neck and you guys are talking about how to make you leak Jack told you I killed all these companies your real slow would know that I was tracking you guys ever since you were looking for your father back at the Hills

play what’s harmontown what’s harmontown
Avenger is this year
yeah looks like
he’s like what’s what’s going on I thought you guys kill bad guys all the time where the good guys and you know he went mad I’m just no
you seem like you’re up to something we sensed motive what does that mean you were up to something I mean yeah what are you up to I’m just like killed all these guys I was looking up there I mean floor scary shoot up there dark magic the floor above yeah I don’t know how to display need some super crazy looks
crazy old books yeah we find these books books books books books of divine I think that’s what that says I don’t know what that is. There’s no books just bloody torn corpses he’s like man I need to get that book off that wizard guy
The Blood book your book
Shar-Pei look in your inventory for a book right now I have one had it for a while it looked like the kind of guy just to bleed cast detect thoughts on me and I feel like a real asshole
I didn’t audibly everyday you saying that there’s an audible components you must have some sort of its fucking Darkstar get them
I take out my flaming sword and I raise it above my head is like
Sharpie take out the book and like shaman
what book what book did he make buttermilk
I thought you had trapeze Buttermilk Biscuits I don’t eat Buttermilk Biscuits because you aren’t you I take my flaming sword
strike it straight down and it does right right about the church but he’s getting ready to turn into the spider twice as a bit of a mischaracterization
head to the Heart Wants What It Wants
okay I fight I have a flaming sword poised above his head in a very threatening manner is a way to release your I don’t have anything yet. I don’t
I freaking don’t I have deep Slumber hey man let’s let me be honest with you guys I just I was telling you guys about the dark magic what magic stuff is crazy about it
your fever is immerse yourself in this blighted as made you part of the dark magic know you were learning about the dark magic I mean that you’re covering yourself on this mean these Buckets of Blood yeah there’s Buckets of Blood but at some point in your life that could offer to you and when they do need to come to your friends
you should have talked to us first visits Gateway Magic
I don’t know how to respond to that Darkness that’s not true man
does blood magic Blood on Ice are we going to turn into him I pick up a signal that was what I wanted but you’re covered in darkness your magic you want my book you want blood magic what is sticky is gross it’s got to be a regular Knoll
you are a good guy and do you soak me in blood if you’re back I have a question yours
what would you do with the book if you had it singing try and stop the evil plot I get the sword above his head in a box what happens
right now I don’t know give him the blood magic book in the first place that means that he’s come on what do you want
I can’t conceal my emotions
goddamnit he world of our perceptions saying whatever I go all right well as you’re trying to do that he he finishes muttering under his breath would you didn’t hear because you were too busy talking to me and then I’ll be grabbing as you grab you feel the blood on his body turned like hearts and you got you doesn’t matter cuz he’s all bloody and shit he’s turned hard exoskeleton like an exoskeleton yes this is what happens when you hurt people
I release him and take out my Greatsword any kind of Lake water is all hard and tripping over his face and he’s like now you made me all fucked up and I’m fucked up now
yours is a complicated motherfuker you guys were all aggressive on me I just about blood now you’re going to learn about the hard way not what I’m going to write a thesis on at my blood magic it doesn’t killed in fact I’m looking at a halfling who’s about to be full of blood missiles I’m in no that’s a good point yes all this blood in my eyes
I’m invisible so he kind of flick flick some of his bloody that you and your body
flaming sword attack we were just playing a game where you guys were also directly in the stomach. What’s your damage
sorry it is 11 attack with no damage just mousekeeping dealing damage
Courtyard zero
nothing we can do as the blood flows from his open wound it kind of pulls back and hardens over the closing it off immediately and scabbing it over
download am
sneak attack poisonous snake attack I like the sound of that
blank in a flanking maneuver you try to attack of right in the flank with a sneak attack but unfortunately you miss when did you go invisible the second heat when on blood first of all second of all the other way miss you man
can I ask you about called Mirror Image
is that do I just make another me you make like multiple copies of yourself that are like Illusions yeah he doesn’t know who to hit I’m going to do that I’m going to go
mister blood missiles
I put my arm around one of them and go or this one and one of them has a mustache you some in there
peculiar circumstances you find yourself
well I don’t think it’s the one with the mustache that’s that’s clearly fake
The Munsters
and then I laugh at 8 each hi come from a different guy hahaha
so you’re two Dives on the to the ground in these buckets is like oh that’s not good I mean maybe it is I don’t know I mean I do
you’re covered in blood I start wiping it off me okay with what it takes a while to get maybe a third of the way done
that’s all
ribbon dagger attacking with your Ribbon just making sure it’s a critical hit between the blood
dealing seven damage
yeah you know the sex for damage but still just in case
7 damage he’s like
it was between those Bloods
you appear to be surrounded by a forest
which one is reducing you who knows reduce person
okay yeah you cast reduced person I am and he’s slowly dwindles down to the size of a gnome that’s fucked up that’s not such a proud people you know that’s fine not the size of the Barbarian sword he goes live. It’s right now blast and then he casts his arms about all the blood on the ground starts to come up starts the whip at you guys I’m trying to drag you down like I like ropes or something
and you guys you guys you guys
leaps out of the way but the other two if you guys get entangled by these bloody tied up uncanny Dodge doesn’t help what about what about being like eight people that doesn’t because it gets everything so it actually grabs it all your illusions at the same time in two spells them
what’s up Nicole’s that are holding these guys down I like the sound of that that happens quickly through the tentacles of their bloody ropes whatever these two gentlemen freeing them from their bonds at work
thanks man
how old is all the blood I know you stop wiping gravestone and it just says he was meticulous
fastidious the backstop from where I’m at to backstab sure you move to backstab you get another Jesus Christ will see how much damage you do some damage this time
I want a lot more and it’s 20 damage that
now who’s the lady in red directly in his back don’t forget the back is small because I made it that way
do Coronavirus
when she must remember that it’s back to just me again I would like to ask you a quick question about the sun rise again I can’t remember what that did like a flashlight that last week and we’re going to use the old router Frost alright
do you want to shoot a cone of cold or like I see I see sharks is different modes on that baby dogs
call now alright well you let offer you realize you’re holding it backwards
I rolled a one
new blast off of folly of icy charge your face peeling 10 damage
I used to meet
am I dead
how much you’re keeping track of damage so now you’ve taken 10 more what was your help little 35 Alright you’re fine
you’re making this up
I spend hours doing the mess I had for about it
is it my turn turn he’s like I did in shit make a break for it
any runs toward the hole in the floor
and Chinese persons be injured tiny half person Bloody speed
I’m leasing a fart sword attack from your blade it critically hit the voice of them in half
he’s like you sons of bitches
if you don’t know why it gets float like farther away than they still have any ties with the heavy heart
dry humping a little bit
I said I take some of yours his blood and I got like why my friends and I got a disconnect
I would never
what magic is the worst
say no I searched your chiz badi yeah it’s just a rusty dagger and a bunch of poop He was keeping it that’s why it smells so bad I guess I was about to give you
that’s why I poop on my deck at a taco I don’t want to play anymore
I take some more Buckets of Blood that just pour pour it all over them okay
little lava Screech coming from the doorway that he came through
as you kick that in the lava
just a scratch I walk up to the stairway at least you can see glowing eyes in the Darkness
and then they disappear in a puff of smoke all right let’s let’s cool that’s all I heard all the Jews Sarah
you will die in a pool Avengers
definitely not the most eloquent definition
come again
it wasn’t never mind that the ceiling none the less
I mean sure
cuz I might get to him run up the archway the top of the archway there’s a spiral staircase
and what you see inside is a pillar of black Crystal on the top of which is a twirl Darkstar
thank you for coming to a sleepy and respected harmontown featuring Johnny jackhammer
and beefsteak Bell
I think you may be coming up and everybody else
aren’t you playing with your counselor
go home and go to sleep
electric Wide Awake


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