Episode
Episode: 92 – It’s Not Personal, It’s Business
Description
Mayor Harmon becomes label mates with Ice-T, which spurs Comptroller Jeff Davis into having Dan rattle off all his impressions. Mitch Hurwitz joins the group and when Spencer is out for the week, an abstract game of D&D ensues.
Transcript
Hermantown is now in session please welcome to the stage
the mayor of Hermantown
thank you thank you for coming out you’re all wonderful let’s figure everything out
are you I’m good I’m good I just came from doing the treatment with Elvis Mitchell Californians will know what I’m talking about KCRW Elvis Mitchell
very very Wiley and and unexpectedly deep researcher in terms of his interviews
I don’t know I can’t figure that guy out like he was asking me questions about like comic books I wrote in the 90s I don’t know if he just is he I couldn’t it was weird and so much research is very insightful and asking strange questions asked and drying I had heard him interview people before I always fantasize about being gassed up you know kind of like one day maybe I’ll maybe I’ll be a writer and I’ll I’ll be interviewed by this guy who interviews writers and somebody had told me he drives a weird parallels and connect weird. So that that may or may not be there but you and then he did he did he did he was talking about how all of my work was about sensitivity
exposed nerves that’s what he kept saying
I kept saying it’s about Humanity versus systems that’s what I always thought but he kept saying exposed nerves which I guess yeah
I don’t know is that just like you have exposed nerve everyone does what does that even mean I don’t know I feel like I just hit one right now
was the man who it was it was I was I was I was on fire gave you know it’s I don’t think he doesn’t have to do with the oldest son is asking a question that sort of like oh yeah I guess I guess so I guess I don’t know how to explain it listen to it I’m plugging it I was happy with the interview as it was at the house of the guy who created SpongeBob SquarePants on the show
who was just added how is it always at his house or no just always host of a different kind of house you’d expect to have if you created SpongeBob SquarePants a giant pineapple
are there were all these people I guess they are KCRW donors like kind of kind of well-heeled liberal types Tim Robbins is eating eating eating prosciutto and end things and drinking the light full I come Paris drinks at where is Chris handsome old men with grey feathers are they were actors they were lecture there 11 were captains of industry or something they were all patrons of public at the creator of SpongeBob I don’t think he likes to be called SpongeBob
she was like yeah but only because his wife is like I think she’s into I take I think from talking to him when I gleaned is his wife is very active in that community and so offered up their home as a venue the highfalutin liberal writer type community community they were like people who really keep KCRW going I just I I said to Elvis Mitchell when I got there while I listen to your show a bunch of times I’ve heard you interview people I’ve never I didn’t know that when I was listening to it you were in a living room full of
middle-aged Versace robberies I didn’t know to never never picked up on that he said he’s never done this before and we just sat in front of a fireplace surrounded by delightful primarily caucasoid
Play Good People kind of sitting in thrall that every little word I had to say about how I was angry at Executives and how Humanity should fight the system and did you ever get like a back rub like you know rubbing me but it was radio so you won’t be able to tell from last night but and I didn’t feel like I was allowed to say no. I think that is fucked up but I’m but I also don’t feel like I’m allowed to say that you have a lot of nerves what do you mean but it was yeah it was nice it was interesting. I went up and I I stumbled over my words very little I don’t know if it was I felt like I felt like I was in a room full of my parents or something and I had to like
I had to rise to the level of my card again had you I’m not saying this to be to be a glitch I could have had you drunk last like I did you did you show up a little bit of these wonderful drinks they made that we’re Campari grapefruit drinks I don’t know if it was less drunk than I usually am at 4 in the afternoon I’m going to I’m going to have a guy wasn’t supposed to get in the way of what’s going on here I’ve got a lot of weird class issues and stuff living room full of rich people listening to me do you make any friends outside of the Elvis friends I don’t know what that means
how do you make a friend
white people that are the couch would like what the gray hair in the back rub them to do that with her any like is there an after-party did you guys do whatever you want a little put off by how how handsome everyone was I feel like that cuz they’re all over 50 and they all look under 30 and I’m 41 today you look sixty that guy and I felt like that was okay but the guy that created SpongeBob rip his age he told me how old he was and I was shocked my response but I forgot to look younger
what’s that like
but there’s at like like they know there’s a I mean people that we work with faces look like they got to know how to gracefully 20 years later to buy the way but but but I mean they’ll have a better quality of life he looks like the number of his age is like you’re like wow do you should have you should have thrown in the towel but it’s it’s a couple years older than me but it’s like I associated with
boxes on your feet you should be like flipping off traffic and shooting your TV with a 38 and fucking to check it out. He looks great. Have an awesome lives that it’s been a lot of their time on vacation there’s a lots of like Riviera’s and things you know you’re on a photo a lot to me this is a truly truly remarkable I think I wish there was a way we could somebody so many Wikipedia Stan Winston and tell me how old he is. We’re watching season of King of the Nerds Riverhead Genevieve piercing on the show
alter whatever he looks like a funky looks like Tony Hawk or something I told how she got rid of you be young if you had this house the valley side of the Hollywood Hills like toys and seen out there the backyard that if you could put a few of the guy in the world I could throw a football the farthest you couldn’t throw a football out of that yard and there was a it was the front of it look like a Bilbo Baggins was as tall as Gandalf and look like a shy are home except the person that lived there with 11 seats all units of measure like acres in yards
how many how many happen if I was a nice beautiful like that Bilbo Baggins Gandalf how you can get lost in the cocksucker you can actually hang a wrong turn and then you got to remember how to get back to The Wine Cellar I know that there was a pool table but you can’t if you’re lucky enough to get it before they sell out of the five of the keeping the counter Jeff’s album of covers of classic sits it’s called Lost in the cocksucker
it’s so beautiful I get YouTube original stuff but you really bring new life into the most leagues are there but I feel like the, Joey Lewis from the 2030s I said his money isn’t everything but it calms the nerves a little bit but there’s a thing about if you if you’re not welcome or destroy well can turn you into a scrooge in an Anakin Anakin crush and and and weaken your cells I think by being it by a few value care about of competition but there are people in our world that we live in the I don’t need Rich Tycoon but I don’t meet entrepreneurs and should I meet Rich Comedians and singers and stuff like that I think it may be the art that keeps them young but I think it’s a way to
way to grow old gracefully and certainly money doesn’t hurt hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the theme to like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blackstone up with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
speaking of now fuck that okay alright so here’s a new segment called what am I doing what’s Dan Harmon doing the most boring second we’ve ever done to get out of the way of a boring song
camera
so tomorrow morning I’m going in
you guys may have made of sexy me on Twitter or what not making fun of the fact that there’s this Dungeons & Dragons Anthology on tape coming out on tape Panic disco on Audible bit bites weirdest thing I’ve ever read I couldn’t have a bunch of gobbledygook I’ve been doing my impression of Ice-T to wielding his ax + 3 it wasn’t personal it was business currently have 14 questions
question number one he is. He’s reading it out loud on audible book it’s about it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a wasp what are a lighthouse
okay Adam and he talked on his podcast which he now has about how motherfukers have Master places that don’t even exist it’s ridiculous when we named our group places that don’t motherfuking exist he’s like that’s like you have a work ethic
boys are not just be on Comedy Bang Bang I was so taken with the email inviting me to be one of the people cuz it’s like an anthology I will be a label mate with you and said what the fuck
so so they asked coming into this thing and I’m doing it tomorrow morning labelmates Michael Chiklis I’m going to Breeze through some names that maybe you know fully Shaday Melissa Rauch
Tom Felton Greg grunberg Weird Al Yankovic
which Al Yankovic The iced tea Wil Wheaton buttery
David Duchovny about to read the book the weather brings me blocked in a cabin I have one more name to tell you Sean Astin and oh and Danny at the time this email they were going to try to get Danny Pudi television project thing on and it’s a book on tape
is iced tea iced tea came in chapter one
creative maps that had it
did he write this down to three hit points
things were not looking good for tour deck the dwarf
moderate heal wounds spell Totera the last of the concern however business remained
here’s another thing they call him the elucidator
I wonder if a couple things I like your iced tea impression quite a bit thank you Jeff just business I would like you to I would like to hear a brief conversation between Ice-T and Vincent Price though
just just just a week just so I can hear it how many how many Gandalf distance are are in between saying I see is coming over to visit his house he’s been invited over for dinner for dinner sometimes means I’m going to eat you Elvis Mitchell but this time you’ve been asked over and you just realize I didn’t realize that he was coming home
takes a long time for them to come to the door
the fuck I’m here to do the Elvis Mitchell documentary yes I hope you enjoy doing
you’re trying to not bathe iced tea please come into my house I’m Vincent Price
all right but nothing personal know it’s business I should do
I think it’s some point iced tea should start rapping and visit price could do one of his famous Thriller style breakdown
yo yo yeah i t i p on the it going to get with me I got the tippy to the two who got the four to the 380 you go to put sweet and very and me cop killer around the front to the 4:3 aspect ratio 69 I got the high-definition and it’s going to be mine I go down the Best Buy I go down every aisle I go look at bci’s by the mile save will this one have a tracking problem I don’t know I got slob phlegm in my mouth when I get a cold I want to go home and watch the old people roles has my porch
yo there’s Larry Storch he’s an actor from Hawaii Five-O and I don’t need your husbands or wives to go to Google it and verify my reference I just want to wrap and experience you different cuz I mowed to the Ogio Original Gangster got to go I don’t know what it smells all day but I’m a motherfuking tea and I’m not gay got a cop killer bullets in my penis for a gun going to going to rub it till I start to come and when the sperm comes out going to pierce the armor of a captain then you know I went farther than I should have gone should I let it back when I arrived a couple times yo a mighty rapid heart and now it’s time for me to do the Vincent Price Bridge
spiders in skeleton coming out of your closet
spooky Halloween
the Mind reels with scariness wolves howl on Howl’s EU cop killer yeah yeah
can you tell the difference
if you do and I stayed until you’ve Enterprise was coming in that could have been very confusing album there’s a reason why he’s got the Michael Jackson popular song is it one of those people I sound like no this is Michael Jackson
alright okay I’ll do it iced tea want you to do it no I won’t do it okay
some sometimes I tell you a joke and then I explained it was on Hawaii Five-O I think I told you I thought I would love to find out if Larry storage was also on Hawaii Five-O
the harmontown documentary is going to be at South by Southwest I forgot to mention that last week go see it going to fill that theater for the waiting for the festival people to decide how is that will be
released distributed shown as you show it and then I guess probably Harvey Weinstein will come up afterwards it go I think America is ready to watch a movie about a fat alcoholic baby do nothing let’s let’s let’s put this in 50,000 theaters and
I mean that barring that happening I think will will you know will will it’ll be in the fans hands I think it’s very interesting movie portrayal of me which is a bummer for me that was that was up to you that this thing has gone through zillions of cuts but you you kept going in there saying no like like like let’s not pull the mischaracterize that a lot of people online or wondering about that but I will make it very clear and it will be made very clear cuz my name is on it as executive producer but I think if we weren’t clear when you see it that I couldn’t possibly have had Final Cut the deal I made with Neil was for the fields in the wheel you did the deal was it’s my tour is his movie I wanted to be able to try to help him and there were a couple moments where he’s you doing a bit you know if you’re saying like
can you cross the room and I just I’m able to say you know you should cut to that thing here and we’ll get a bigger laugh than what you’re getting right now if you change it by eight frames but I am not allowed I wish I was allowed but which is why I can’t be allowed to say the movie and also like yeah I would be doing it for the wrong reasons by myself I watch the movie I go I’m always kind of riveted I’ve talked to people have seen it like I like I want to see the whole thing that I saw kind of it with Kate and I watched it I wish I could see the entire tour I got it made me feel nostalgic 700 hours of things including like 25 minutes of John Oliver that would be worth $5 right there there’s a
I mean date like this guy shot a lot of shit I showed 17 hours of us singing Pringles dick and chicken chicken noodle interesting portrait of a 41 year old idiot
that doesn’t know what he’s doing at all okay to it to that have to do with the fans in the that’s my favorite part was the best part about it there’s there’s interviews after the after lots of the shows with a bunch of people that came to the show and that’s like I’ve seen several like different Cuts & clips of that and it’s always like a really chokes me up its really like Suites in emotional School Premier I hope whatever is seeing her wear and I think we’re in a huge theater and I want to fill that thing podcast
well what are we sure about that studies for sure about that yet on the bonus
and bring that Mitch hurwitz
yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I’m going to fuck your mama going to do it Netflix on that your mama was a hundred up my quit dick Arrested Development pay rent Robin Williams breakdown
yeah yeah good night
that’s all I wanted I don’t remember any of this tomorrow with you like we don’t hear this podcast in loaded question I don’t know where you hear the podcast and I do not remember singing about VCR tracking
so impressive sales I really haven’t people today like Mike Schneider a TV Guide you know that you know that fellow I like my best friend I don’t want to smother you don’t even want to look at each other I think I got it figured if you really like encapsulate wittiness it’s all God no no you do reminds me
no I have nothing that’s such a ridiculous thing to say to you somebody marier you know well listen I mean I take it we’re going there already but anyway I was just making out with
and she said you were so articulate today like it all up on it yeah I know you’re old people backstage listening to kind of with sounded maybe like dissing you know white people that have some money I felt like that was so maybe older people kind of felt like
really hurts I know danger there but it ain’t happening those are going to have a Target sell this Mitchell
I do not know but I will be talking about how is the movie
what you’ve never surprised by that now I know missed you feel because you know I don’t know I talked to Terry Gross once
no and it right in the middle of it she said this is fresh air and it really was like you know if I can Hendrix playing the national anthem
I guess come to think of it I suppose yeah well I have a problem and I have a problem with the damn would know you really should know now that you mention it yes he was an account of the black person for that but you didn’t say the word black of the first sentence I mean I forget you know the impression that is an accurate impression of a state fair address
I like that you at your channel just business
I was raped then murdered
sbu
Tim on the on the crime scene it’s a nasty City Comic friend Richard Belzer
had I been held accountable for so many things I’ll tell you what I watch House of Cards
that really that was fun are you okay let’s talk about that I don’t know I can’t pay the rent or something I could you know you have no recollection of what happened when you were following is going to sound awful but and it helps you plan your own murders because you could just see how he plans it in case you haven’t seen it
I’m he kills a couple people and it no here’s what I didn’t get actually one of things I didn’t get about it but I just don’t get in life and you kind of alluded to this earlier like how much is too much why don’t you see if you seen it the first season yeah that right there’s one singer Gerald McRaney is talking and they’re threatening Gerald McRaney was a we’re going to shut down your power plants for two weeks that’s going to be a lot of income and I are used to talk to Ron Howard about that we did arrest of the first time and I said you know if I hit directed cocoon that would have been a director of cocoon I certainly wouldn’t be just out there doing another one every year that ruthless ambition I don’t know maybe your ears getting all of us and it just gets a powerful men continue to play Power
can you to care competitive people at it’s all about when they’re not used to being second in anything like Carnegie and and Rockefeller and those guys like they think they resent that someone has more money than that like that it’s not measuring things in terms of 1/4 is not a quarter of a dollar it doesn’t exist to them that’s not only does I think they know exactly what a quarter represent of force of a load of laundry but I don’t think I think it’s just a collection I think it’s just like collectors in Austin
hadn’t been invented yet but he was pretty name names but that today is tycoons I guarantee you there’s none of them that were born broke or we know their name would go like that’s the guy that was born a broken is now a tycoon he was proud of the fact that they were only given 50 million to start their Whatchamacallit. How do you like it when we take on people that are white and make money you know it’s it’s challenging
like there’s someone wealthy
have you ever met Dan at the two of you ever hung out to one-on-one never gone out on head like had a lunch or thing. Yes I’m just saying until her where we hung out Mitch is a bar
spearmint right to The Drybar together. Damn man we hung out with her when it just colluded together to come up with a story possible some jealousy issues he probably doesn’t even know that I was the Comptroller for anywhere I listen to your wonderful thank you so much and I think you’re a great thank you you never listen to me yeah it doesn’t matter who are your friends maker vegetable you do you have Gary and now I’m not actually I mean that every time you you talk about me as being kind of like you’ll say things like boys kind of you know he doesn’t look neurotic or why do whatever you say
no I’m so neurotic and stuff you know if I’m out with people like I embrace that I’m always happy about it but it takes a lot to get me out you and you talk about going to San Francisco and doing the tour and everything you want to come to my wedding I’d love to officiate are you do you need someone that gives me enough time that’ll be great I would list now okay I’ll be great are you are you are you are already ordained and I won’t make it all about me I mean you know but could you spare a unicorn that was around the waist is is the the impression of the thing that doesn’t exist anymore which is the preacher
I got one of the preachers like a hypocrite I’ve known as I’ve been I’ve been married all right stop sweating when I got married was awful I was nervous beforehand and I was in New York and I thought let me just go for a run and that’ll calm me down and I went for a run and I went out in in the Central Park and running in a text I just went out running right just Just For Speed
well I knew a lot of strength never know you’re thinking of you I came back and I looked at the clock and it was I have like a half hour and so you know I didn’t try it on my jump in the shower and I came out and still sweating and then and then get up on a hook up because at that point I think I’d still believe in God and we had this Jewish thing that’s what you think that’s why they were laughing the stage under a chuppah and then there was a light right here and the whole time I was just like kind of a casually wipe away like Albert Brooks and just look and nothing says confidence about
married Mike just a total flop sweat literally running away from the scene do you get in fights with your wife kind of man I’ve learned I’ve learned a lot about this is what you do pictures. Here’s the move
present to make sure Aaron’s not back there
so nobody ever wants to apologize first when you have a fight right arteries are double for it and
it makes them feel so much worse than any insult you know you know how could you say how could you say that there’s a lot of that by the way they have a lot of like complete you know I just feel like I feel like every time I get a butt but if you die then with like look I love you I don’t I don’t want you to be unhappy so I’ll take the blame know I’ll take the blame okay many women can apologize first but they can’t resist I feel like I was always so good I feel like I don’t know if this is justification rationalization but I I can’t I can’t get out of that pit with Aaron and I have to assume it’s because she intimidates me more than anyone I’ve been with a guy can’t I always know that I’ve always been able to do that
do it I’m getting so I’m so like mad actions only half joking and I I will say that one of the keys to like my relationship being successful I Thinkin by successful I mean she lets me sleep with other women I know it’s not true but it really is kind it is doing what I just made a joke out of its really trying to see that other person because that’s really what anybody wants right is to be seen is to be acknowledged and everything you’re doing in a fight is is there not seeing them in any kind of remind myself of that I actually can go to think like look at look at your feet to refuse to it I know that’s a problem
and you just come home I love her I love her even though she doesn’t understand I don’t know anything about Pokemon or something or choices of attack I’m doing a I’m doing a whole audiobook on Pokemon
what’s the Harlem Globetrotters Muhammad’s daughter she’s for whatever reason they put us together the guest oh my God I had to sing a song to Laila Ali and she was awesome she was great
I’ve never lost a fight have you ever fought Laila Ali I’m never find anyone
I can tell the guy can tell some of these stories
did you want to ask your wife oh my God my defense children. Like I do lose some sanity in those moments I just feel like I don’t care I just remembered now let’s bring Erin out I punched her in the jaw and my slave
thank God for saying in your sleep with the end of that last Tuesday and Aaron in bed yeah I was having a Demolition Man and I fell I fell asleep and I went in my dream I was fighting Sylvester Stallone in a ring like I was boxing him and he kept punching me so frustrated arms aren’t moving right now.
and I woke up and something was weird in the bad like I had moved my fiance’s in bed next to me in her jaw the whole and I know he almost never know but I thought at the time cuz I was what was happening in the dream but really in a weird way I imagine
very clearly and very frightening actually think it’s the best part of the documentary I signed earlier cat
comfort and dental we talk after you watch Demolition Man then you’ll watch a version of a comforting My Best Friend’s Wedding nerves and just fall back asleep
because it doesn’t show you a couple of nights ago because I was about to fall asleep and you this is a milestone in a relationship you left the bedroom to go watt finish watching a romantic comedy in a different room because you knew are quotes knew that if you continued watching it in bed I would have notes in my sleep pattern powdered his bottom
that’s how he likes to be greeted you know that my bottom self powders gross
thank you for the very hairs are bad for you yes I know I’m sleeping because you woke up and you I hate to tell you guys what I was just watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days how to lose an audience in 8 Seconds
didn’t wake up dead wake up you just did it again. That movie that movie has been crazy but let’s just say that I like I like Matthew McConaughey’s
Waffle House
mini series so it’s eligible for the different award category
I’m So Into True Detective I wanted more McConaughey
well thanks and I haven’t seen that yet
I want them because whatever I watched that was the musical event at the Oscars by the way it’s like damn we heard you do an amazing tribute
we haven’t seen your Philomena I’m sure it’s amazing
so do you want to watch surf’s up bro where you want to go
I’m going to go to the other room because I know this is wrong
is a piece of shit that movie spent 10 minutes depicting in real-time Hudson learning to play a card game she spent in 10 minutes movie The Hunted win it lately just take 8 minutes to tell you A Street joke is a medium that I
you fucking forgot it
does two pair does that beat a full house you’re supposed to be so delighted by the whole thing I just want voice is like a guy was trying not to project he’s just doing that
did anybody come out if you don’t exhale as you talk use anybody can sound like Matthew McConaughey
it just it’s nothing it’s nothing to cover these mother in the Christian Slater and Christian Slater. He’s definitely a million times to Larry Russell Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China is doing a pick one movie to be John Wayne and then that’s hilarious movies did that holds up it does hold up
can I mean I think
cicadas Anatole every guy I didn’t tell me he was look at her and said he was afraid of
Dan and I are going to your house in purging a bunch of thing
how are you going to try to sell those fucking picture frames again this is crazy he said he makes so much
you don’t 5 5 or $10 I have a bunch of stuff I’m sure Jeff and I live like a Quaker I have one chair no one’s allowed to sit
Dan and I have a lot of furniture there’s a lot of old Community stuff and there’s a garage sale $86 with a toothache till I reach the port side kids learning how to write they were having a garage sale all the proceeds going to 86 La going to happen on March 23rd from 11 to 6 p.m. I’m going to be making a cake of a lot of dirty underwear line
not literally dirty underwear if you love Dan orlov Hermantown or just left things come on out March 23rd and supportive charity everything will be garage sale price
that’s a very nice
very nice his new he’s going to put it on a phone you know I cuz I just throw away anything that you know I said to live this if it’s environmentally sound we think it is it’s it’s recyclable everything is constantly new in our house it’s a trash tomorrow
sorry I didn’t wake up wake up wake up
that’s nice of you to say
hey myself a compliment there when I woke up from my the love of my life punching me in the mouth I was like we’ll talk about it in the morning I just put a pillow between us for the second woman in 41 years that I have physically assaulted in my sleep in my twenties we went to visit my parents in Florida the Allison with the flat nose outside of brush and I at the time I was reading a lot of a alien abduction books because I was writing a script that was going to be an alien abduction comedy
Mike Reed who knows of half asleep that you think you’re awake but your sleep or whatever I rolled over and like I realized that I was in bed with a Greg there was an alien, yeah like Whitley strieber alien face staring at me on the pillow next to me and I went and flailed physically with an alien alien way and have everyone who’s ever thought they saw an alien by the way in and flailing I ate my Knuckles like like shit and I hit my lover and a face for me and then came to end
poor girlfriend is going I didn’t know it was possible to see Elisa Allison
Allison McConaughey mermaid tattoo in the inside
Allison had a sudden sudden tattoo on her but her bag you’re thinking of a different person with the mermaid tattoo Sun Tattoo that’s what you don’t understand about women son tattoo in the back girl has Japanese kanji to so strengthen her ankle
we’ve all known that it was a different time and it was her own fault for probing you might have been part of it but i a n n n n n so there’s that’s the second time that I’ve actually hurt someone that I was in bed with so you made contact with arrows pointing Bruce Willis and I was thankfully thank God I was alone at the time I’m sleeping in a single mattress in my two bedroom apartment and I and my dream Bruce Willis was taunting me again what the figure you’re like I can’t move my arms when you just go
if it was witty taunting if that’s how you can tell it wasn’t Bruce Willis Seagram’s wine coolers smirk nnn I just lunged at him and woke up as my fist collided with the plaster wall next to my bed and blows me away about that is the idea that some
way of looking at the universe are unconscious dream characters they have a life of their own they exist because we make them exist and they’re they’re accountable to our our wakefulness or asleep. They resent us for being gods that they can’t control they know that they’re going to all die no matter what as soon as we wake up which other real Bruce does not one one one guy in the figment of my unconscious mind when he wrote does Bruce Willis guy in one dream knowing that he was going to die along with the rest of dream world like he accomplished with Promethean tasks like he bruised my Knuckles like he got he reached out to cross the threshold between sleep and awake and fucked with me and want to fight with you. You of him built outside of Dream City if they’re that those fucking assholes could live past today
Queen City because I’m Dreaming City they administered that fucking I can’t run or walk in my the gun doesn’t shoot nothing talking to Works drug on you it’s like they always win the fucking dreams what does the real thing
sweetie
did I did I tell you about the dream when I was Jay Jay from Good Times and I was talking to Thelma the whole time
you get that in every show unbelievable not the sharpest dude apparently did you read Kevin Smith’s book it’s amazing oh my God yeah what a fucking asshole he was at a party with him once and I had like you were at a party with Bruce Willis as a comic knows him and he walked up and my friend Kevin
what the hell that was that’s his real gift but
he walked up to my friend was holding the cookie and he wanted to make a joke and the joke he came up with is what you got their donut
its marked away
don’t have a hole in the middle
is that a crazy story
enough like Demi Moore
did Bruce Willis might have a Demi Moore in the height of type a kind of like like just above the shoulder black bob hair like a similar-sized it looks like basically like her but I was in a bar and it Hollywood and there was a party and I was going to the men’s room and I’m standing next to it to my date and he saw her from across the room and did like a Cirque du Soleil act watching him get across as with your people in the way and with couches and he was being front and back handsprings and he just went through an air vent that delighted with his repo the only stuff I laughed and devil of energy coming
the only thing that was finally his way with the guy and he linebackers me out of the way probably
but she was wearing a skirt
I was just simply a chest piece that wasn’t a square that needed an occupied square and he is really heavy not Charming just like shrink down you yeah, California
I tried to get a juice time
I would have killed
well we have a surprise for you tonight I’m Bruce Willis yo yo I’m going to throw this in Bruce Willis from guy hi-yo Bruce Willis in the house I heard your cooler with your ex’s new boyfriend
you must be really open-minded
yeah
Bruce who you rapping with who is that character
back to the paper
did I was like halfway to the ground before I recovered but the thing is that you will
really good and then he went on to make like a horrible movies that would be a good who didn’t give me a black eye we’re talking about a boy who was there black
this is it this is 81853 it when you were allowed to give someone a black guy
just as I am giving you a black eye problem to basketball Semi-Pro
there were people that were really famous and I was the only person at the UCB theater and their basketball to be there which is really smile
I didn’t ask about Woody Harrelson I was on the other team and he elbowed me in the eye
I mean I think I listen when you’re playing a basketball game of the UCB theater it’s serious if you do what you have to do to make the fucking hot shot I guess
the show yeah right
I said everyone was really like oh my God I would try to pull it together and everyone’s like you’re fine Aaron right because they’re worried that the game was going to end because he really a person I didn’t want to be for the rest of the night everyone’s faces get bigger and bigger and everyone’s pretending that I’ll just go
who streams
jumped out now Woody Harrelson Woody Harrelson now I stopped at. I don’t give you a look like look like get me out of here together
at least at least it’s different sides of his mouth. My name is Woody Harrelson I’m here in from somewhere in the midwest today I got to buy like a true my mouth from the south around when I was rapping on the ground effects
hey babe
spiders crawling out of this year
repeat.
Tonight has been just a field of dreams for me
I believe me the last thing I would ever want to do is stop a beat what before you were done wrapping everything up there is Grace Tuttle thing going on there because it was a very subtle. There was a guy who wrote Bridges to pop songs that he was a very horror oriented guy at the have to talk about spiders and coffee always the best French Manukau it’s a great song I love the hook the versus the great put your Bridge
what year was McClintock directions to he’s been Vincent Price’s guy for 20 years. It’s about a woman that I saw on a beach
Vincent Price owns the spooky Bridge it right that can Shadow cocksucker it’s a fucking
do you want to work in this morning you want to sell records you put a spooky Wookie in there
it’s my first attempt at a Woody Harrelson but the job thing is interested in your cheek
Woody Harrelson I’d rather try to innocence because that’s what you were doing today. Came to a drive-through and Woody Harrelson was working the drive-thru out balbi Woody Harrelson let’s try it let’s do it
welcome to Good Burger Restaurant mam can I help you
am I hate those tree people cuz it killed my husband
well I’m off about it ended we will be here till 12 for fucking breakfast
extremes just like that
your kind of what was your character to little bit Lily Tomlin
it’s been awhile
you tiptoed into Jodie Foster on your and you’re
Charleston oyster you do a good man what I am is an artist of I’m an outsider artist if we heard Woody Harrelson we could do it though he’s got a whole world and I want some french fries for entertainers are the people vs Larry Flynt
Larry Flynt do you think there’s any chance that that Liam Neeson my forever is a big fan of his but I don’t see the rapper doesn’t matter if you know Liam Neeson
he’s going to rap
Liam Neeson
yo yo yo yo yo yo it doesn’t matter if you rap or sing a song I am Liam Neeson I’m from the street I’m going to tell you something you need to hear it
or you’ll regret it
but don’t sweat it in the morning got a beeper on my cell phone going out for dinner and go to just swing some rock does it matter if it’s down the block
I got ice to sling it doesn’t matter if I sing I’m a fucking crack dealer
Ideal truck
deal with it
Neeson style doesn’t matter what it costs it’s just crack
5
broken bridge by Sean Connery
coughing with spiders in child coming out your mouth open wide
spooky skeleton ghost
all kinds of ass shower
doesn’t matter don’t listen to him or me
don’t Sean Connery
Liam Neeson
let’s go get a sandwich
what kind of sandwich you want that’s my line
now this was
it really has been a magnificent for the first time does it still have a contact there coffee made that deal with brach’s Candy’s at that point if you had three times and then he just that whole Easter thing for a while the Cadbury rapper just dropping like a rapper rapper Justin play the straight line rabbit about this rabbit buy yours and mine from the street and I got to wrap to the you got to rap to
going to rap about the Street Experience going to wrapped in everything I do.
A rock moving New Brunswick
eggs that didn’t work as Richard Widmark there was no English people doing heart now know he was going back to the Woodmark go to automatic 7-Eleven was just with incense and it’s a shame to see a star falling
my friend Jim went to meet with Jerry Lewis wants to talk about making the Nutty Professor into a musical and one of the things that Jerry Lewis kept saying is I’ve got a prop guy he’s the best and I think of that when we talked about McClintock and this guy when we’re ready you haven’t seen an umbrella this guy has an umbrella in a Broadway play I’ve never seen the queen know about it in the screen play the Jerry Lewis wrote that says the shoes and there’s an annotation that says we need to discuss the shoes with fraps or something like that
big big big big
I’m willing to show us through it right what was coming next. We love to take our time class absolutely
most people my age that you have to take a class and you have to reduce your personality to one person and that is our clown what was your emotion
about to yawn or something
that face you make right before
nose starts to flare
this competition I really care less where is now you come up with that Mitch Mitch if you had to be a clown class and you had to brake quickly choose your at the essential clown quality you’re here if it wasn’t about to Ian sleepy sleepy too hot when you talk as a clown is that an a as an option that makes it’s too hot a little harder they can do that
the Cirque du Soleil Avenue sister to show the guide
rethinking Christianity like it would be like a clown
clown that was raised the lutherans say in the Catholic you know and maybe it’s like half the genuflection and he just stares off eyebrows
all right so it’s you it’s that it’s that point the show we’re usually for the last eight years or so we would usually bring out Spencer but you did
not here
it’s got the week off
wow he was asleep
Fresno was Like Water for Chocolate
we had a conversation about the only one who’s never told all of us who told them that I was he felt like he had to do it or else there would be horrible repercussions did but he wasn’t having a good time do I get all the time and I felt forced to do it and I haven’t really been up to
Expectations by that he puts on at the week if there were an expectation we were underneath that expectation that tournament rules definitely a bad day but short as around we all have an inventory full of awesome shit that we’ve never used to believe that there’s something that he’d rather be doing them playing Dungeons & Dragons on a Sunday night for free misjudged batting cages right now
Define Magic the Gathering at his parents house to find out more to find to find out that he I never really thought about it that he felt like he had to do it that way. I would never want anyone feel like I had to do something like Kumail text me when I we never had a single conversation every week looks as either I got I got an early call time tomorrow or I’ll see you tonight it doesn’t matter Jeff always has a reason to if he’s not going to be here it’s because he’s got some gigs and so we try to replace him if we didn’t the roof wouldn’t necessarily cave-in we haven’t had not had a comptroller yet but Aaron comes and goes up out of the audio Spencer of all end end never like
what if you were to come up with a green army go yeah yeah I don’t want to play this week I think I would like to why would you like to play we can play something else last week show I think where he said like what why am I why don’t you guys ready cuz we can’t bring him up and I’m not talking to him. I got like 10 or 15 or 20 minutes fan to cater the show to whatever he wants to get out of it you know I don’t think so we’re just as guilty as anybody is like I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be some wrapping whole to call him why don’t we call him
call Humble put him on speakerphone so you have to be really quiet and we’ll say hey man we just ended the show early and we just thought we missed you because I maybe you and I could just play some D&D my feeling well errands here I’m just coming up
we bring up someone from the audience we that needs a problem resolved
I’ll sit at Spencer’s table and I’ll I wouldn’t call it dungeon mastering cuz there’s no dungeon involved
but we’ll walk through helping them solve their problem okay you can replace that the character sheets but we can remember enough cuz we don’t really know I can’t really tell that well anyway that you go over there and sit down I play the Spencer D&D intro music and you iced tea dungeon master
a little campaign here you can make it to the advantage of it next time you talk to Spencer you can say don’t worry about it it went better than it’s ever been
you know and then and then maybe spend some time to come back and make a mockery of his jungle I don’t want to like use your characters cuz one of the characters in the audience
Eric do you want to come up here I was going to ask you who has herpes
are you can sit there yet
call Eric an hour before harmontown at nice I’m going to get a black Republican rock and roll
call me what’s what’s the name of the book that Loki Ragnarok and roll heavy metal Norse mythology thing
Ashley will let you know when I was your age I’m judging from the lack of pores in your skin that are about half my age I’m at work done at work in comic books you can only remember what about one of those Spencer actually brought one for him a lot of guys were going to have to we’re going to have to get through this about Spencer to stop bringing sorry what was your name Eric Eric what
okay to wear fighter are in your work cleric and a human and human maybe work for the DWP or something okay yeah alright I am indeed human human civil servant is great and Eric minimum wage as part of the story you’re like you’re like an objective involve you okay
your Intrepid party has been traveling for several days
across the lands of Galaga for
tried hoping that no encounters will occur
finally campfire after campfire you sleep the sleep of the Damned
when you wake up
you ready to go again and you do so you walk and you come upon a comic book store it seems like there’s nobody there
you look around and it confirms your suspicions
nobody there
it’s not personal it’s business
go begin your adventure I’ll start the combat or whatever you choose to do
based on my rule of initiative Dungeons & Dragons
all right I put it it Jeff Turner I approached the door to the comic book store you approached the door to the comic book store it seems to be locked with a device I take my my my my my my Greatsword and Jimmy the door open you just approached nothing personal just business standard action that wasn’t the full movie of action
you were ten feet from the door I’m sorry I’m sorry motherfuker
God damn
it’s not personal Jeff going up to the door trying to unlock it it’s your turn can you wait to do what you want to do
detect Magic on the door Wavin your arms in a magical Manor
the door has an enchantment spell on it it could be some kind of magical glyph could cause damage upon opening but you don’t know what type OK Google well you know I’ve got the DWP truck out front and
and you know I can just relay I could just say the city wants to come in and check the pipes cuz that’s the kind of shit we do with the DWP we call that through the door who you don’t see anybody to see one guy out there first tell me why I don’t tell you that I love you who you seen the empty comic book store by looks like a do you want to roll up her turn to the cleric and I say what’s going on then what’s your perception my perception but I see through the crack pick a number between 1 and 35 / 12
there is a comic book store employee inside his name looks like yeah it looks like his name is Buzz but I would have no way of knowing you seen it but he looks at you and he’s like okay you’re inside the store they don’t they’re not with you you can’t talk to them you can’t see them you can’t do shit nothing personal business ocelot companion chunky Chucky says what
I’ll tell you what Chucky in the in the ice caverns of months when you climb through that small crevice to attempt to find the key and he a cool yeah I want you to climb through the mail slot cuz you’re perfect mail slot off a lot size the climb in there and see if you can find some way to attempt to undo this glyph what’s your animal husbandry + 7 through the mail slot with a definition precision
you see his Tail Wag out of sight as he disappears through the Veil
I put it in return
Aaron what are you going to do
women more investors with new dwarf character
I use speak to animals and ask him to let me in
okay cool
you speak to the ocelot the ocelot says I’m inside so
let me hear in what’s 101 hundred the ocelot you here outside the door side
closet aluminum it seems but you can’t be sure
would you do know
all you know is you’re excited or it’s not personal
because I forgot
I’m sorry what
so you telling me an ocelot went through the mail slot
few people can keep this city
did you hear the scurrying after a brief bit of
nothing personal
can a latch and the door Ingress is opening wine it’s gorgeous to your surroundings the door is open
I called Chucky come back to my shoulder where he’s safe hold on it’s Mitch’s turn door open it was confusing I think I I go in tonight I see guys let’s keep our eye on the goal and not get sidetracked browsing flipping through no buying mr. Burns
6 / 0
you didn’t ask yeah you didn’t know
6 / 0
I need you to all roll initiative I really for you get y’all got low initiative has got high initiative are coming from everywhere 3 Covenant Jeff to an errand one at Mitch 3 Covenant Jeff damage fuck
Karen gets hit by one of her arrows the other Arrow mrs. Mitch and flings off your shoulder like a flea on a brick
I got fully okay you know like a flea without a dog noise and the fleet took a calculated risk of trying to trying to transfer itself baby wasn’t having a locker with the flea business I’m a dog so it jumps to the brick cuz he can’t tell a dog from a brick visually jump onto a brick get get do blood do dog blood doesn’t matter sorry about since they seem to be kind of face blind I guess I I I try to convince them that we’re ogres to
that’s how you want to spend your time
thinking about no no no. A wise use of your intimidation the dwc will power
I would say 3:16 all right and you doing what I’m convincing the ogres they’re on our side he’s saying what tell me you got to make you okay I’m saying let’s shoot Eric you do know I’m not saying that I’m saying that hey guys we were just sent over from the main building and they are you guys over its cuz we’re ogres and we’re supposed to join you guys don’t want to know Jeff 12 errand while I’m up there are 26 all right hold on I got a lot of calculations to make yeah
all right the ogres seem to agree they look at each other and their lack okay they speak old British yeah yeah and then they seem to relax weed yeah that’s scary he comes over with a feather booked over you you okay cool come on in and let you come in he closes the door behind it with magic and The Hobbit come out but yeah we’re close. Just goes to emphasize the threshold you Christ
lesser Heroes have failed
business all right you look around you see Eric sitting behind a table he’s got his comic book that’s called Loki has got to make no sense
Metal Man the misappropriation of a
of an ancient linguistic device
you get the picture you he seems like he wants you to seek his comic is metal button glass above a consonant
I don’t know
still he’s sitting there he’s going to paint color perception check on it or like an architect magic or something you see it’s about 33 pages with ads
there’s Splash pages that are good
I don’t know it’s still clean text my mom so I got the lettering is legible
is there a we were told last mission that there was a there was a scribe who who hit who put secret magical codes inside inside text and we were sent in this direction. Do you know anybody like that that goes nuts to hide secret magical messages inside books he is a no fans two thumbs and is right here with me. I’ve ever laughed that
you think they might have Asperger’s would we know that was a risk we can do a comic store okay so you you would say no one else is a green gas coming down from the vents is coming down like slowly at first no one notices but you notice maybe Doug Benson shooting a podcast upstairs
nice
20 experience points
that’s good that’s good podcast kit
I like that cross-promotional what I like I hate tell everybody that doesn’t know I hate the personal right your ass I’ll enjoy it I didn’t you just recently incorporate your personal business seems like it I love the personal yeah and I applaud the business is the business of personal show okay I’ll ring that bell ring a ding ding motherfuker okay that’s his belt
you doing a great job. It’s just running around 6 Bill Universe I control talking shit yeah I get it I get it but I see that probably probably going to watch the first
what’s your move man I look around for a way to get upstairs or the stairs or some kind of way to get to the point to where the gas in your eyes around your surroundings you see that there are three flights of stairs North South 40 East
I I sent chunky that’s a lot of the of the Eastern one and because he’s a he has great still pay you spend the turn Logan shit he’s at the reading because I see the gas I cast pictures mask I start running North stairs because we have that package from so long ago how you guys if y’all need to understand turn-based combat
you cast a spell as I understand it. Math test one full wrap around and it has a manual component meaning you wave your hands and a physical component you have a lizard tail in your pouch that makes it possible to cast a spell so you do for all of you that are observing her if anyone’s looking what you see is a mystical Astro painter’s mask appear over her face as she runs up the north stairway now she’s trying to look back but I need to check your agility because you’re talking to other people while you’re doing it on the stairs gas it’s still coming down gas coming down
the other organisms are they look around at each other another might not be ogres
is that are the starting to look at each other that’s good so I’m going to be late mother fucker
we had a meeting about doing a spin-off very briefly just called order so I go up the others another staircase and you’re going to like the three total 3 total up one and I go up the third and I I use my special walkie-talkie to call a guy named Chuck McClintock oh shoot creates a bridge you guessed it from one Stairway to another night
all right I don’t even call him directly at call him back to call back
call McClintock if I call back a writer Woonsocket
by Robin Williams
otherwise there can’t be a bridge there’s nothing to bridge there’s no rap
windy
what was the name of that movie
add shadow
I tell you
I tell Aaron to go
not in the style with a big red nose like a patch that didn’t work spiders climb out of your face to Mastro’s skeletons come out of the dark coffins and bat hang out their asses climb up their ass holes with round glasses everybody Pookie with blood and got I just busted a nut
what time is it
that wasn’t a good ending
that’s not we need Spencer back we need to Spencer