Episode: 106 – Pakisnap!


Episode: 106 – Pakisnap!


Dan Harmon, Jeff Davis, Greg Proops, Kumail Nanjiani, Erin McGathy and Spencer Crittenden perform for another sold out HARMONTOWN and FINALLY, necrophillia is discussed at great length.


welcome once again to Hollywood California theater in town is now in session
Vietnam you don’t drink
what is baseball going to Stage the mayor if I’m in town.
Hello thank you very much
another another record-setting the crowd it was really hard to not tell you guys about the community I think I’m glad if you were here I I was the man that LOL that was a it was a sharp secret to sit on I’m not known for my secretiveness secrecy I am known for its various occasions but the job is for is to do an uncleared deal my agent publicist made their job Harder by by announcing you know there’s actors deals closing writers deals closing my deal-closing Bubba blah. I just I don’t really know how stuff works I just know that I get yelled at 1
you say too much too soon so what is the deal now what what what do we now have to say 13 episodes
home of great television
not not just
I Love Lucy merger
has a search engine
and a television show been so absolutely paired
which wait what you put your favorite Yahoo TV show another what that was a thing on the phone and he Native American is a very powerful woman Jeff Cook and precious with a with a phone call or a text message but why would they be Native American Boy
oh boy there was much power in your TV show character
my viewership soars like a
lights a baby eagle leaving its nest what why is this okay is it just because there is it just because they’re Vanishing is that they have no chance of mounting of executive but aren’t fine I’m just wondering like Wii Sport didn’t care about any of that I can’t I couldn’t survive the world has changed you man well I mean I think I’m super hyper conscious of you know I look back like 8 years ago I would just literally like I don’t know I was just I was just so mad I would say I called my brother a fag on Twitter because he said he loved his daughter
that was that was that was the beginning of of my realization that the world had changed cuz my brother said tweeted I love my daughter so much and was like I just replied fact like real responses from from people going like that’s incredibly rude and tacky and hurtful and that’s been said when used to hurt people and playgrounds you of all people should know about bullying a catastrophe we’re going to bring somebody that knows bigger words and how to use them so I’m not going to injure his territory but I was are you saying catastrophize is not an actual where I don’t know is it I will find out when he comes up I was mortified let’s say that I was I was I didn’t really I wasn’t really looking at myself that I can buy some of this I also think you know the millennial outrageous movement as you know Ed neo-fascist one and and that it’s incredibly dangerous to put so much value on
words because some of the worst people in the world put value on language some of the worst people in the world are a pride themselves on their diplomacy and use language to get away with horrible Behavior so it’s dangerous to focus so much energy on cleansing the world of bad words because you’re going to be in the same camp as Snickers and the Pentagon
what did you just say
catastrophe Snickers in the Pentagon
oh Jesus
I mean Jeff traces of unfurls like a mighty keep eating flag
much hatred expressed in your language
I just I love doing that accept that voice is like this what is Burt Lancaster City train rolling chassis like a girls trip is going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through the New Black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life
always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Blacksburg, what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platform
call voicemails from the head of Yahoo
to seal the deal he was quoting someone I think it was like it was Louis CK or somebody like was talking with his hell all of the all of the pilots when they talk
they’re all doing like an impression of Chuck Yeager like they’re all they’re even realize they’re doing it with the others Topeka
those people need to shut the fuck up man and a territory the food’s bad to in the peanuts are too small but I’m saying it to say I tell you I mean I know you had to go to school to do what you do and you didn’t go into broadcasting the late like like really fast your passion if you want to if you want to talk to people I’m trying to play Pokemons or something who to give you a vocal approximation Yosemite Sam he sounded like you’re 77 the instructions on Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland
we are way when you go walk away when you get on the soccer and he kept up the aisle Rowayton they can get on the plane
you came back and got the place like this is our pilot he seems all right information.
Put your seat belt on a tight as you can put them out and keep them out until I tell you to not keep them on because we’re going to go through some bad turbulence trying to learn me I’m just saying this is no joke then we went over the Rockies and it was like if you didn’t have your seatbelt on you would had a broken neck he would say I invented any kids I guess I wasn’t smoking with you before that
travel time from Miami to Dallas I I caught a glimpse of him you know they do this thing today they put the lunch Wagon in front of a thing to block the 9/11 Towers
changed after 9/11 lunch in front of the door is there a fine line between us and another National tragedy
enter enter you always get to see the pilot when he takes his little draft is Deuce or whatever and that that guy came out and I didn’t even realize I had standards for pilot wardrobe I really do like them I want to look like military kind of really put together tucked in and stuff that came out he had Oakley sunglasses balanced up on his top of his head like a Jason Biggs character Freddy outfit that looks like you can fly a plane wobbly Italy
you’re in charge of my body being thirty thousand feet above the guy know they’re not connected but I’m alarmed and I said under my breath because they said it took two of them to push the crg TV back into the ceiling of the thing after after a ridiculous like Gremlins era Tate played that I think of it that have been recorded over it at one point today cuz I accidentally tipped over the whole and I know you get that reference if you were my TV back in and it took two of them they couldn’t get it and I just I unconsciously said this is not something you should stay in an airplane this is a bad person for saying this but I just called going to die
and God bless his heart the flight attendant like he is a don’t say that and I was like oh fuck but eventually but not today
he was he was a delight I mean if I was at that’s why she’s like that I’m surprised he made me make me happy but this guy maybe he can maybe he can see it goes bad my love you then if you are doing a car or whatever but you’re not your life isn’t being controlled by people that feel like they are strangers and they have their rules and they and it just like these are the last people these are the people or you’re going to die with and I just didn’t really freaks me out I’m a control freak I don’t like doctors I don’t like airplanes and
backing down on this position I think they should be outlawed I think they take the doctors and doctors and airplanes if the person you see is a doctor before you die usually and how come if doctors are so smart how come they don’t live longer
does Doctors live longer on average will tell you why cuz it’s all fucking guesswork it’s all bulshit it’s listen to this
how come they can’t how come they can’t take care of that what’s going on down here
Harry Potter Dumbledore get out your broomstick and get in there and fix it so we can’t yeah you can’t that was rich Zoe difference
come on we got to get it let’s get out our friends you want to pick first troops out first
hey when you started again but I don’t know what I did to me again
hello Gregory hello everybody sorry I didn’t know now we’re having a lovely discussion about how airline travel is the safest way to travel estate coaches more vulnerable to okay so we were playing in Kosovo cuz our careers on Falcon fire
I think we need to find a place known for Gina side and mastrad fucking comedy
they say you play Kosovo on the way up and on the way there
origin of an alcoholic I don’t know how you stood for a thousand years so we we gets up at 3 John and we leaves from Skopje Macedonia where we’re staying at the Holiday Inn I had my laundry done there and I can still smell the detergent 11 years later I don’t know if pink has a scent but it did in Macedonia and so’s we pitches up to the airport and it’s bright black out and likely we have coffee oh yeah we have coffee and whatnot pre-dawn and like would like to raid on entebbe thank you
the drive-thru taking a ride through Kosovo recently or whatever
do I trust we were going through it and we can set and we couldn’t quite put a finger on it and someone pointed out there’s a thing that you don’t notice yet there are no birds there’s no Wildlife there because there’s that many unexploded landmines or anything at all that you never saw it. That’s all I’m saying every morning right before sausages
Red Lobster menu did I call you know why would you give me some more banana milk we go on the tarmac and there’s no security. Try like they’re your bags on the tarmac at the oars as well after 9/11 we’re probably gonna find that that’s your bag and that’s the sum total of the talking right like you point they got located on the plane is battered dented has graffiti on it misspelled it says error. Sit down in Macedonian letters write in Greek letters complete like we get in first class and then we take stuff and there’s no you know how you were saying the lunch wagon which I love because I love the fifties and
my brain is Diet salad and macaroni and cheese USA or whatever Bill how much is a steel door without a with a bar across it like in a Frankenstein’s there or whatever this is Macedonia no door at all as soon as they took off the pilots and light up smokes and start talking and they never look at the road the whole fucking time right out the window you this is the
you you’re saying you’re looking in the coffee shop and they’re talking then we get over fucking Amsterdam and you hear beep beep beep the automatic pilot goes off and they go and put out there smoke shop Jean Masterson a nervous Nellie friend of ours in the world what was it for breakfast as stale bread Turkish coffee olives yogurt feta cheese and honey
like they like to look it up look at the party happening back in the July
I mean I think I really wanted to go out there and have a drink with him you know that made my what are you guys drinking every woman work dress and everybody smoke in the air everybody lit up and every every armrest had an ashtray international flights when I was still a smoker that out of the tube are our whole attitude about smoking I remember changing around me and I remember being pissed at my friends are asking me to not smoke in their Apartments like I was entitled if I can
smoke in their apartment in my brain had to like shift again the world’s changing man this cigarette stuff and not for the better
what is the old days we’d all be doing blow and smoking right here in this room man if this was his seventies podcast and those would have been awesome because we know how the talk shows became profitable before they became a way to plug things except it was just like a little bit but while you fall asleep cheers John Lennon drinking with Truman Capote talking about how high he is one shot one camera yeah that’s great. Let me listen to us
that’s what I love about about about podcast it cuz it’s like a who could have predicted in this world of increasing bandwidth and shrinking attention spans that there would be an art form when people listen to people Babble for 2 hours that you think it’s an art form I think that’s kind of class but I feel elevated running out the last stretch of my fucking Golden Years used to call radio I think I’m glad I had because we don’t have to ride with us until all the shit hit the fan but we won’t get into that has to deposit because I find myself repetitive I feel like the drunk that’s been courted at the party and I like the guy telling you the same story for the 50th time that’s what I feel like my podcast is
selective about which ones episodes of the show I listen to how much I doubt there’s ones that I just want to I’m not got drunk and sloppy and hate myself and I don’t want to hear about the World Cup anymore World Cup we have a lot to talk
I got stuck in the Costa Rica game did anyone see the the football living chicken that’s Costa Rica’s Madden mascot. In San Jose that was the best part of the entire world cup because the chief fancy guy in a suit shouted us down if I’m talking about sports so that let the fact that although I forgot we’re talking about sports in a comic book store about pussy in a comic book store or something that’s only been discussing I see you’re sensitive that’s fantastic I want to know when you develop taste when did that weird moment occur wow yeah okay but you guys are the British the horrible ESPN3 really I thought. But I am in it
but Alexi Lalas guys like the American team didn’t like the queue you were a midfielder and you suck balls out okay I I saw you in the 90 94 I saw the fucking world cups are in Broward and you this team’s better than any mail continue wrong you are a huge sports fan of this guy loves baseball more than anybody you’ve ever met well again baseball did you guys ever see the movie like Bull Durham or what not that’s what baseball is or or major league 3 back to the minors which is the best title for a family history of mankind because of its Major League 3 how can it be back to the minors that meeting was the worst meeting that ever happened in Hollywood no alien this time
what do you mean. In the minors its Major League the movie called major but there was that this isn’t an example of that but there was the sequel to that open water open water to the right when we got rid of the Sharks do cuz water is scary enough tired looking guy I have a chance I ate a tuna sandwich too soon before this happened I was like watching one of those Hands on a Hardbody competitions like you’re just watching people slowly drown anyway where we keep the guest trailer
yeah we got we can we got a lot of heat for the soccer talked last week, why can’t there be a countdown like a clock and I just got it after listening to it again cuz I want to say I do get it now I get it because it’s like the people fall down I think it’s a sport that has as its league has more Integrity than the American Sports it’s like they just had their because they’re like raising actors like if you like to call my face fell off
I literally saw one where you guys calves a gently grazed each other and they laid on the ground clutching their face sticking with what they don’t know is that I don’t think of these guys and have figured out the Sector 9 million a camera high definition of slime out when you get hit by another guy that can I put came up in Grey’s the back of a guy’s head and he crossed his nose which is clearly bulshit but yeah it’s hilarious friend came and hit the nose
I hope I think that guy who picked my favorite was the guy who bit the other guy that got kicked out of the war
because they played the Italians or Italian the called the blues they were blue with Chewy Lewis and The Blues
play Luis Suarez I thought that was dumb and now that I know it’s worth it
that should be the last newspaper published in the world
but he when he I thought it was so ballsy when he picked a guy she laid down being like hurt my teeth to like you look like you did my guns though I got robbed
at the time he probably did it almost hurt his teeth on a guy’s an athlete shoulder like you can’t you can’t see Italian team no wonder the Russians fight the Russians you like this is a cabbage you buy the Italian team you’re like oh my God and Russia soccer
is this true
delicious Italian people to OK Google
Jay Silverheels actor Jay Silverheels Quito do I wonder why we run into some hot dogs along the way Mooney and yes I like Batman and Robin there was an alter a universe where the Lone Ranger and Tonto I think we’re deep couple for my people the guys it’s a white guy we couldn’t even get one of our own to sell out our letting them play for a white people can do a lot of voices what we really excel at genetically is racism
Mickey Rooney Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Asian actress in Hollywood that time and yeah it’s true that is amazing to watch the call far we’ve come in a little little one-on-one soccer games and smoking one of my weirdest memories with my family and those are smoking section in the back of the plane and while I was on the way to the bathroom this guy sort of and I was like eight started talking to me just a weird story around Pakistan but I don’t remember how long from Singapore to it’s probably about three hours so this guy’s reference when you think he’ll come sit next to me and he’s already a weird story but I was
what is blocking the captain’s
so I decide to have a lunch or maybe some chapatis
Target’s map
you did not just pack a snap me so I can get you back
I’m talking to a person I feel a monsoon comment on I feel them on soon, then I need ya and also nobody drank in Pakistan but this guy was Pakistani way older than me and he was like you to try this whiskey
probably tell my mom came and was like what the fuc and she grabbed me and went up and then the next I was going to the bathroom she’s I can’t just he he was a case it with me again like I didn’t know how to say no right across the aisle from you or so he’s like in a different section so I’m like probably like 40 rows in front of him and then he says that curtains and then the smoking section he’s in the smoking section people want to do bad things to children
you tweeted a picture of yourself around that age and you live you look so much like Milhouse from The Simpsons
yeah that was a horrible that was great to like 18 was a real bag of trash
so you needed this validation
attracted to men with whiskey
Aaron and I were just watching it’s really hard for you should watch it no it’s not inspiring because something terrible is happening to a person that doesn’t deserve it and coping with that and watching him fuck him to just charge headlong into the Oblivion with with a with a with a you know I was going to say
yeah I’m sorry that’s how my brain works and what happened and didn’t thank you for proving that I was right to have a vapor lock for a second but it’s it’s it’s it’s a good documentary that will the relationship or are you at Cisco’s wife tells me is true but they also really did hate each other but I really hated each other but they’re also loved each other and it’s really it’s part of the documentary is also very touching but it’s more important for the documentaries Ebert relationship with his wife and it’s it’s it’s a it’s a it’s a tear bringer
there’s a story in its fiscal is tired of listening to Uber like a good joke
if your favorite Spirits telling the same story as just cuz I want to hear it anywhere so she gets a napkin and writes a note on it that says mystery we are here in the cockpit we we we found out you’re on the plane we we admire you much more than that other guy we really agree with your movie reviews more than his at it would be an honor if you would join us in the cockpit
I just talk about movies with us for a while
Ebert the Note 8 goes bounding down the aisle starts pounding on the cockpit door every would like what the fuck is this fat guy
trying to destroy the planet called out from his seat that he just needed yells out like mr. That’s how the story ends article that he lost his lower jaw to us we couldn’t eat so he was on tubes and stuff about this wonderful article about how he experiences food now he looks at pictures of food and recalls a wonderful meals he had he’s had it and he’s like don’t feel sorry for me I’m still having that experience he talks about like it’s best meals as a guy but never taste again it’s really really a fantastic like it’s a realtor broker if it really bright quickly adopted the blogging lifestyle because he had no idea he became like like like like right up to the Finish Line he was like
the coolest bloggers and tweeters and kind of amazing that you can not only could you not fear death but you can actually like get some of your better shit done right before it even when you’re staring at the face kind of cool but also really fucked up because why Harold Ramis why why why do bad things happen to people that we admire in the end we could spare down here let’s bring a couples therapy veteran and love of my life
I’m going to have
the gang’s all back I don’t even have to say anything Superstars up here all of you bringing your own stuff to the thing
and that is you just be silenced for 2 minutes
Camille story about the alcohol remind me of something
although I did go to the bathroom two times at least on a 3-hour flight so whatever we flying at an altitude of 35000 feet
who complains is that you would think that they would they would throw that out there
I have never pooped I haven’t done first thing I do
where you work
I don’t know what it is we wait for real you really get on a plane to meet Lee how to take a shet your body is just a straight line I will poop to poop and pee like a Polaroid camera it comes out
hey it really but it’s it’s it’s it’s as if I am really proud of it like I think it’s something startling.
It’s a in a world where there’s lots of things that could go wrong with a terrible experience because if I want to go pee on a plane you guys want to do later I’m sorry go ahead and I was telling her name is Scoops yeah then you’ve noticed every time you went to high school or Schubert for Tony Shalhoub ever on Bravo
Barack Obama is always a lot of coins in pims January 6th
I thought I was talking about that man offering you a whiskey or whatever it was I had I was thinking about my manners are I was thinking about plane rides in Italy for a while and when we lived in Italy other chaplains and my dad because my dad is a chaplain which is like a preacher in the military and her face so my dad is friends with a rabbi and the others
what are other how ya a rabbi priest and the right one walking down the test sound like jokes
is walk into a temple
so I had a I had a babysitter who came over twice I would play Old Maid with me and wasn’t there but we were telling the story and I remember I don’t have never thought of us before never talked about it and we are touching but I feel strange my parents drink this drink that doesn’t taste like other drinks and it smells strange and it’s really weird and he gave me Brandy do you know what this is what this was the best thing is I wonder if you’ll be looking over here at the joystick this is called cough syrup and don’t make the journey so gentle.
my father never talked about that was sitting for me because I told my dad that chocolate that I was going to marry chaplain I’m I’m like yeah cuz I’m an alcoholic with a joke
so that’s why I sat on his
Hollywood Squares
Wok II sat I sat on his play Old Man together and then we would have come
what is Old Maid what I never I don’t want her again she’s not a team of Western Society or what so you don’t end up with her woman’s only value is
to give her body for Reproductive purposes I am the sexiest Indian
and I can get away with it I’m Vanishing

I know nothing happened and I doesn’t make it okay but I guess there’s a reason why I never saw him again. It’s a memory of that has his real name is Jewish and it gave me a bottle of mogen David
we played Kabbalah all night long you can play a Kabbalah you clean my day
I guess it’s a game to Greg it was a game called her Paula and they’ll think I’m just being a wenis now I know it was a good call on Aaron’s Dad’s part nothing at my job so I would say I’m Not Dangerous situation
we already asking for the easy Greg
child you don’t really have that side of her house and I was going to marry him my mom I told my mom I was like 20
I’m on my way cuz I’m afraid to ask other people 17
but I think there’s a hell of it I mean kids kids kids want to marry their opposite sex parent if there is kids kids kids go through this by the way congratulations Indiana and Utah good job get points for me the return Godzilla it happens all the time I’m old ones and they’re still in their break all the time
and you’re not allowed to travel with chickenpox but my parents are so sick of Italy have his memory and my mom didn’t tell me it was going on but you guys doing the bus and truck company of Godspell on the way home thank you that was for me and for the Illuminati
Austrian take a seat thank you I know you did you have Asperger’s International makeup all over my ten-year-old face and Spanish
she’s in a Kabuki Theater Company Mother’s scarves around their I’d rather have a baby with chicken pox on the plane taxes with so bored that they want from Italy to Texas master’s degree at a cemetery and text us think that we should get some feedback about all of this from dungeon master Spencer
Ring Around The Clock
fix siding how you doing my brother I’m doing pretty good now I mean I’m I’m good
I don’t know like I think there’s this one girl I babysat mostly is this tablecloth little fancier they’ve been really fancy and got the the room here other than the chairs that explode when people just told me I’m just pulling in the audience
lumpen proletariat I know I was wondering about think so but you know I did get inappropriate you know situations with adults all right number 10 bonds parking lot I went to my grandparents live up north in Northern California it what was it goes to Loyalton was the where was and there was just some some random kindness State Fair carnival rides and attractions and everyone was like having a good time and I went to try and win one of those you do monkeys and I want it because I could knock off a ball or I can knock up a bottle
with a ball off of a platform I guess me more about this game
is there a timer that you press pause on the clock for the students involved I think there’s stand it makes it harder anyway I got a monkey and the lady who’s the Kearney and you know don’t trust ladies when you’re a kid
parties either but I got this monkey and she’s like you know you can bring your monkey into my jungle anytime and I was like well did you know that I should say Elevate her papaya with your mango
no but I did peeler banana
that was.
You’re telling me
you know old old enough to set off a long-held prejudice against old people
too old for a nine year old boy yeah definitely have a shorter holding a car
I text you when I get a little rascals beard like I said.
How do you use cardboard glasses glasses yet but he made them in a cardboard know I don’t think Attractive people do stuff like that right
I don’t know I think I think that’s bigotry
that’s probably very attractive pedophiles out there you’d make a great cop Spencer
someone with money don’t commit crimes
song having to see here all right next door to Spencer I don’t think I have any more molestation stories
do you want to go faster for our weekend repairable off of a platform this is the milk and the trick is that the hole in the top is exactly the size of the ball so it’s possible to see if people say I think this is rigged you can demonstrate that it’s not if you with a very careful orchestrated that I had to be taught to me by a Carne are you shove the ball straight down and go right into the tag but if you are me and not good at turning red so it says I think that’s where you go to do that it bounces off of it and threw the top of the tent
and everyone will take a note
you’re fired
that impression makes me so hot
we finally found a real play game week
and I’ll be me
knock my milk bottle off this platform with your balls for couples like myself and Erin I was about to get hitched well I’ve been married a long time now and I think you’ll find Dan that you need to understand two things about being a man and a marriage one it’s almost inevitable that whatever you’ve done is unbelievably erroneous
and that you have to understand that your deficiencies Are Legion there is no point in time where you’re going to go I fucking win and
advisable for you in any point to decide to win an argument and or a scrimmage and or Skirmish and or a battle and or War okay it’s a very long road and that you’ll find I believe for young couples starting out on this this giant golden Journey to the Emerald City mutual respect for everything the other one does in other words when they come home and go I had the hardest and it in Hugo really I fucking did this that’s not a big win. Is a truck that rolls into the You Know the Way by and burst into flames is what I’m saying but I’m just giving you this to others typically for a 1990
you have so much respect for you you you refer to your wife is formidable and she’s so I have to keep her locked up in almost all the time have you guys ever done any counseling or anything’s Aaron and I are going to Marriage Boot Camp I don’t know but I haven’t
your sister’s pussy is my dick
marriage Camp Bow Wow what’s that
Grant will you come by and make you a Rifleman in my beloved Corps
what’s the lunch Wagon in front of the cockpit for the lunch Wagon in front of the cockpit
Greg we were talking a major league earlier looking cartoon shows for the goddamn Cartoon Network to pay attention to your wife more and have more fucking Harmony at home are at God damn it stop
the manager in Major League
not the kind of thing a marriage is built on
season of Community what’s a little trike
has he requires people to go through a camp quote on quote can we had the record my dad I want to know how to go to the breakout sessions that was all sent you one person in the whole fucking then we had a small meeting and then a confab and then a breakfast then we blew Skype for a while that was always my fault thank you
really talk to you when you’re calling yourself last episode how many seasons are there is a Hall of Mirrors and Dan have to tell me whether or not I looked inside
they just a series of jeans that you repeatedly asked me if you look fat and you have to answer it
what do I sound like
the mirror
there’s a bad where there’s just a mannequin that comes to the door with pizza and we have to argue about who’s going to go down but I couldn’t get it that’s the fake.
that’s what we fight about it’s like soon as I take my pants off cuz I was like
302 do you really live alone
the door in your pants Jean dog sit outside the window in the Garden tickets
he just watches as he loves it yeah it’s a bit
we have or who are like with each other and I think that is part of us is with moves like a guy comes with the food
is it good question. Hahaha I created with my sweat yeah I think I just sort of decided like I’ll just get the door like I made the decision and now it’s way easier like I just like I’ll be the one who always goes and it’s just it’s made of that if you take the garbage out as well I think you’ll find that you do there’s a certain tasks that are so what’s going on what are you doing
I’m just giving her a name so I don’t think this is going to go wrong right now I’m saying it’s the natural state of things I’m not being sexist or or or or horrible and anyway I’m saying that you will find you’ll take the garbage out unless you’re not there then she’ll be around the house children job is to be funny and not with this crowd.
you 30 seconds left and what not and then and then they’re there to be your nursemaid or not I’ve had two other than that and family family meeting the to meet you or your family and the house note your family’s balance balance cuz she’s sort of you know she’s in the same line of work and take can happen that you could just work together to so it’s hard sometimes your relationship become just a relationship so we really have rules like let’s talk about
could we do a bunch of stuff together and that is really really helped us I’m sort of negotiate that a lot cuz cuz you’re in the middle of being married and also being a co-worker with someone you can get into fights as you wouldn’t get into if you were in either of those camps so so that was one thing that we have to go to figure out I think that’s good did you call Sean cell
I’m allergic to Grass if it’s pretty accurate
funny if you were paying attention for the last 7 years what is he your fucking yogurt and just sit in the fucking corner all right
yeah you should have that down by now or what we are out of vodka
really yeah I know it’s a record we sent their families not practicing right now but is a licensed family therapist I think about you guys a lot that affect like your relationship and that way because she’s obviously she can say well
Jacoby so we sort of boat know like what you’ll do if she’ll call me on like my little like bulshit Trixie know and understood myself way more than I ever did so she’ll be like angry angry at this what are you really act and I’m like that’s for me it’s like something is going on and then I just do a Magic 8-Ball to decide how it’s going to come out like it’s just like all right
create the cat
and she was like okay I have a seat turn on the air conditioner this isn’t about Bruce Springsteen
I know why but I was anxious about a job I was starting and so she’s saying that I’m actually feeling other than Bruce Springsteen t-shirt I’m a massive Bruce Springsteen
oh now they’re here
hooray for you I didn’t know the whole crowd was for fucking Teaneck tonight
Teaneck I got married right by Teaneck which exit goodnight everybody
you go back to what you were saying Spencer hello by the way I did a Chris Rock mic drop it and is it a bit when I was like it fell apart then that Engineers are like
and that made of Love Me
I’ve never been to this all the time
soft catch and release of Minecraft when I was getting married it was a big story in Teaneck there was a guy who worked at a funeral home guess what he was doing I’ll tell you fucking dead old ladies like women in their eighties and I saw a picture you was 28 and very handsome
Georgia to renew man
I’d like to think that maybe he was so good at sex that he like it was like going to the hardest difficulty setting in a video game
playing basketball with weights on your ankle
I can come in anytime
I can make her come. His marriage counseling what do you think profiling new page in my book
dial fucking old ladies
like you know going right to the fog and currently in the funeral home
it’s Christmas. Kirby I think anything is out for Carl’s jr. I’ll beat it into the names of the ladies
that’s the funeral home to cousins in Secaucus how do you get caught you at a funeral parlor and you just like this like dead people that seems like the perfect sealed up in there I don’t wait in your head
oh my God I feel so bad about Rue McClanahan now she’s so cute
oh God I’m going to give already said a bunch of horrible shut and you found out because obviously it’s a great bear
she was so proud of herself
no I am not
like I know my body is Dad what do you what do you want to do that like what do I do what do you mean I’ve really felt like that’s where this was going
after she was dead
I don’t I don’t know how to place those feelings are what are those feelings because she’s not there what is a punishment for that crime is what is this are you on the side of the guy was doing I know she’s just asking how do you Batman and Avengers somewhere that I
is there really a crying cuz it’s just like a piece of furniture now so I don’t even know what do you even know what kind of house that I wonder if there’s another topic besides necrophilia that we ate, yet qualified Central necrophilia but I guess all of it is
well you might have to make a special clause in your will
I think the victims of the families when they read in the paper that a guy got caught fucking old ladies of the ilysm think he’s in jail what category do you put it in the speakers because women at India and the funeral home what you do is you kill a grandma you fuck her right in front of us.
looking for this is funny this is not funny what I’m going to say is not funny. There was a serial killer
who’s going around killing like this is a bummer of a story he was killing little like poor kids and dissolving a man to ask this what he was doing I’m definitely going to listen to this podcast
this is one of the ones that make the kids I want to get to 100 stop being in the cops literally like laughed and picked him up and he finally got 200 he was like I actually did do it I did it I killed a hundred I told you I was going to and then I did and it took the official punishment because he does all I said was this was what the court said kill him cut his body into a hundred pieces and then dissolve them in at
what do Pakistan and a hundred children what he doesn’t know is that after he’s dead his body will be a hundred pieces of Heaven daddy Wyatt experiences from New Sensation is not a new Hot in Cleveland it’s like yeah what is a real relationship with they say that Chrome is what we are we’re Cro-Magnon right as opposed to those who we kind of hunted hunted to Extinction although some people believe that we are interbred with them but that is that the Neanderthals a little Dumber in different ways like they couldn’t invent like
change to web site which we use to just hunt to Extinction but they buried their dead and they and they buried them with like Trinkets and stuff which cro-magnons didn’t we are descended from or atheistic animals then the brutes that we hunted elbowed out of existence by being smart I don’t know how to process that I think you know how I feel about religion and all but I think the ritual of someone dying in the way you treat them is you. That’s how you sort of say goodbye to him and that’s how you process your feelings if you know that this person is dead when my mom died in our house she was dying and she died in her house in like the den and we just turn the lights off in a waiting for the
for the the the
corner corner Island actually what the Quran say
come out now. That’s the Muppets Take Manhattan now you have to watch it Tim Curry movie according to Quran Pak it has to be the worst witch or it happened about the Treasure Island
we sit around her for a while I would really like to do how is miss you guys a Muppet Treasure Island
sing like our relationship with death is changed like it changed in modern society
I want the necklace it tonight
you’re the reason they call the spread 17 new did she was she was dying it wasn’t it wasn’t a sudden thing like she was in the hospital and see me come home today starting the downtown near the date was happening and happened and that we are all like grieving. That was very intense and then we were
casual interesting I guess when that happens like how do you process it and when you go back to like normal life and there is something to be said for I think part of the reason that there’s so much Rachel to it is that it gives you stuff to do after this horrible thing has happened now you have like preparations to make and you have to set up a funeral home, that stuff and I think that when the doorbell rang and Temporaries
singing cabin fever and you think about Jeff is that it’s it it intermingled with life I like we don’t we we do everything we can to not make it feel like that but when you talk to people who have had real experiences with real encounters with that of course part of the story is going to be the seemingly profane absurdly braided experience of then I ordered a pizza night and then a friend came over and we play Yahtzee or whatever Penn jillette had that show on Showtime at a funeral In what episode that I was I was interested to learn from that show is that shows credible that that we the reason they’re called funeral parlors is because what you eat what we now call living room
we specifically made a decision Good Housekeeping magazine they cite as the like they made a sort of deliberate decision the way Hearst newspapers decided to go after him but you made the decision to go after death and that Good Housekeeping magazine suddenly announced at a certain point during a certain year this is now called the living room because your house is it for dead people you don’t want dead people in your house because before that you had a parlor and part of the parlors function was that your relatives died and you that’s where they stayed at everyone came over and pay there was already took photos and hung out and take photographs with them in a parlor game
are you Rain Man
Kmart sucks a second child
we had funeral at funeral parlors in ice cream parlors
yeah what are you got ice cream you what I thought you wanted
bulshit ice cream in my living room strange that we do such unnatural things to America has spearheaded the strange relationship with titties and dead people can you turn on the TV and there should be one titty and if I could commercial for the ogre Cosmopolitan what I was going to Paris I went underground that was catacombs I was like I was just I was amazed it was a walking for what seemed like miles
one of these tunnels and then put their dead down there and it was like oh shit there’s nothing like this there’s nothing like this in Rome has one like order like a monk or The Calder Capuchin I think have you been there you go to the basement and all their dad like priests they use to decorate their place they made like these wonderful like amazing like you’re not supposed to be just like a bunch of skulls there but like these awesome designs like looks like wings and stuff so and it feels like to me a lot healthier way of dealing with death row at the valley are looking at it at Kmart which means look at that ass is wildly morbid
I guess you would be looking at that while you were thinking of work soon

now we’re real uncomfortable ice cream parlors I don’t know why he wants to believe in violence violence but but we don’t we don’t understand fucking and dying yet happy Fourth of July but I do but I do have a happy birthday tomorrow
let’s get it on so we got to give me a better Cuban more when we last time on harmontown barely escaped from Paradise with their lives in after robbing a gnomish bar in fighting off the local gang the cactus Bunch the party Set Fire to the bar and exited cork noticing the fire’s spreading toward the locals that alerted known Barber who got in an argument with afraid of legal backlash walking in the egress Sharpie burnt a hole in the woven wall and with some of Chris De burgh’s acid they tore their way through and into the cold Tundra side outside they are they found themselves completely lost with only a burning back laying in the ice that is until a Yeti Came Upon the gang ignoring courts friendliness he threw a net on the Gang
what they appreciate being in the net was the yeti going to eat them what Bill martigon simply burn to death that everyone in it find out on an all-new harmontown
yeah we we escaped the City by burning our way through the wall after burning everything then we’re in a tundra Yeti came up through a net over us I don’t know why I’m repeating that well for Greg Wright we’ve earned everything an hour
I would have become just sociopaths that’s the that’s the game now it’s just about going baby oh you guys got it but it doesn’t have to life thing or in it right now to make it operate absolutely enchanting
so you guys you’re in the middle of this cold you know Frozen Wasteland sort of situation you’re underneath it big yeti that and there’s a big yet he’s looking at you guys he takes a few steps back after seeing you guys in the nap and he Grunts and he raises his hands like this you’re into it you guys are just doing it to
friends I got those things all happen
kind of like a weird miming thing going on no one’s really no communication is really happening I contact with him
what are who do that stuff he saying fusty
the blinding snow in trading win give way to the sound of Hope Prince I mean hooksounds what is it
oh my God
oh my God
once again
funny infinitesimal genitalia of Justin Bieber I have arrived at a most propitious so yeah he take my vengeance upon thee as I allow a giant one I detect evil and the food
why do something else it’s poorly spelled
is it Tylenol with codeine who is both female and male Immortal and Mortal or Sandman part 2 and part human
Richard Simmons
but Suarez I will buy you a beer Italian in white garb
it definitely is you use your magical evil sensing a horn to see if it’s evil and you to techno evil that’s heart indeed my heart is fallible
sometimes my horn misdiagnosis like Dick Van Dyke on the show
wow you got a state your references Tylenol with codeine
a pile of shit though eaters
my references will remain eternal
you speak that with such confidence there’s no need to update ever so
there is no evil in this Yeti and let me whisk you away all the pain you jump on my back and we shall fly like a duck to ask sliding down an icy Hill backwards Network or Internet
Hidden Treasures that have not been spoken up for you
keep up on their person and in a case about them much much much riches II brand is my Cutlass and I slice through the net
you slice into the net but it’s made out of steel it up then that bounces off indeed all yetis are but one in the same one that has met them that sounds very racist
I am a turtle these are choose that I speak to about my passage to
I don’t know if that answered my question
indeed thou Hast much treasure just out not Yeti keeping in that case that they’ll keep behind me
big big run set you and you can understand what it’s saying it’s the best I can.
says it on paper it says my chest is back at my house
linear inches were I to grab this day but it seems that the yeti has none upon him has how many credit cards a credit card
She Ain’t You fucking hillbilly can you get the yeti to remove than that let us out of the neck and GT3 my friends would sell for that was just listening to the equine master
he says although these guys are your friends I thought they were just animal some let me know me get that for you so I’m not racist racist
animals that are not but with William Morris Endeavor dust out sign
a while
or hub
is that are more booty
the Endeavors of the b e a p a r
so fed up. Not a Yeti he does so he removed the house to it to me it puts it away
sorry about that he says I understand him Coco I have made in a cavern nearby
I I I take a knee before the yeti and like kind of indicate my
subservience my I kneel before him like a strong but but servile
okay and I and I go and I and I just gesture to him cuz I know you can’t speak English
and I are going to go if I give him a thumbs up
all he does is very forgiving to a lot of terrible movies Tylenol with codeine how is how is Coke a while most delicious chocolate he must let us away and let our feet across the Pampas the number to see whose face I am sad apart in the past. He remembers nose
he never forgets a face of a place you know we need a place to get out of this cold we out here with Coco. Did I smoke it with a Yeti and his books with friends
what John Mayer am I without the bag of juice
indeed let’s go to the camera right you didn’t. You guys are so strong you know I have missed thee upon my hunches if I can I’m going to snow ski behind Tylenol a man not presented I still on the goddamn paper
Jump n Jammin
I can get together you right off and you ride towards what you couldn’t even see before but once you get up on it it’s like a little white smear on a beer white smear and it’s a ice cap and it just goes in just two ways to get out of the the wind in the snow kind of like a biopsy but in the Snow Ice Cavern and you guys get there
syncope Shelter From The Sweet inhale it in this Cavern most 1 lb at shallow
I ran into the the cavern that will fund that mine for hunches are most no difference between another shit I made up
would you like some cocoa it has the marshmallows in it the kind that played upon the top most pleasing me
yeah I love them thank you on it and then Amulet of Shadow worlding I’ll just take the cinnamon toast in the pageant
who would like a strawberry Pop-Tart and cinnamon pop tart to make it extra good pickles
I have cornichon the small French con their most sexy and their high-profile onions amongst them I’ll try I’ll try I’ll try this and see if it does not crunches most master I check it I check in emotionally with cocoa
who invented showers gave us there she doesn’t speak right I’ve heard I’ve heard her speak
you don’t need not cocoa with us or no yeah she’s here
how much vitamin K has transferred this evening
Caballo Lake I mean you’re a horse you’re hard to take away as and I know a lot of stuff has happened to you
coccadotts emotional
by the blister genitalia of Miley Cyrus this doll fall down
is not Divine horse but I am a unicorn and more than horse am I for horn do I have in my headed to do kind of horsey
I examined the cavern it’s very shallow it’s pretty nondescript other than like what looks like a small burnt out bathroom and Beyond
sogou Tylenol you just do you live here I don’t live a crib and then other times I let you know I could with other people I get around town did you do you know the the neighborhood when Jesus comes to me how the winner is most foul and pestilent much snow and abrasive ice crystals form it’s about us horribly and then I’ll Retreat back into my cup of cocoa
that has nothing to be ashamed of lead us out of here I will onto the furtive playing and then on to the Fruitvale area where the purple Caverns do backing up full of riches and you made of rabbits and other things that down like it I’m hired a good deal of the time
I seen you in a long time and now it is set on the school just tell us of your travels many travel to buy Omaha Nebraska have I been to and found that the what you were taught most fanny packs and truck did they wear in public and no sport coat upon the and then other times have I gone to Missouri and found that the people add pork rinds unashamedly and listen to country music as if it was for everyone and not just the white
Lady Antebellum if I heard and much Barn have ice.
Oh my travels
to Paris I have been an under the catacombs did I go and there did I see those who are dead I mean ask your way there in life and yet coming back to this land I have because treasured most isn’t be take us to the treasure Tylenol with codeine and what sort of treasure is allowed within the kind that will knock the socks off of bee should that’s worth sauce
alright multiple and plenitude show you see The Shining a Treasures that lie to the purple caverns in the trailer. Even have to jump upon my back for here we all are transported by you transported yeah I have an amulet of Shadow worlding and I have dreamers
is that like herpes herpes
how many prongs have I decorated
so do you want to activate the amulet or do you want to travel to the purple kind of confused in the history of Yeti to go in front of me with video rolling
so well you depart you head towards the purple Canyons you’re pretty deep into the icy Tundra Wasteland so the journey takes several weeks but I last you find yourself you find yourself of the purple mountain range where the purple Caverns are said to be found weeks have gone by travel and other games like cribbage
an Old Maid
priest has asked me to sit upon his lap and whiskey to drink and yet I have refused him twice upon trips to the Twilight Sparkle cat are Kenyans hooray hoorah before they do not see the richest lay within and the golden life that Joshua beam above me to pick him like fruit hanging injuries. Most broke and of Dino horrible quite I have heard in my immortal world that has been burning villages to the ground like sociopath week past which is our chance for today so that they may have a couple of fucking nickels to rub together as this journey I don’t see any I don’t see any Treasures here where do we have to get there are none so blind kenelm as those who will not open Diner
660 weeks and it fucking riding around with snow snow hi keep repeating these stories I don’t even know to believe you anymore man like it’s like you’ve never seen an option that has better than I you show me the treasures motherfuker before Jocko talking about these Treasures with Don jaundiced eye Jesus Christ and see what the hell kind of snow
I let it die let it charge and you can see inside the opening of the purple Cavern
or I should say for Gemstones of various colors just kind of seated upon the floor I ride towards the biggest one Nellis nothing guy for these gemstones are valuable most in a way that accounts dentist and well then why would you want us to have them if we can’t understand
Diamond cannot wrapped around at this moment but moments hence Dallas will be in most possession of understanding
true stick stick bug boy knows what you’re talkin about that
what’s what is Knott’s Berry Farm from what is the r word
hi hi roading
yeah we ride already appraised the gym as that you guys approach to Jim’s they seem to shift before your eyes and mutate and they they get bigger and grow into strange test insect
for a moment Island Chris De burgh’s ear
what is what is going on what are we or whatever you feel like it’s our fault for following this guy
by the way that Coco was just a bunch of mud and water Ray I will try other means we could have got out of town tavern
jackanapes I don’t know if you’ve noticed but these Treasures you’re talking about these gems that you were so smug about a moment and hot cocoa but I’m in town I’ll try the Tylenol with codeine Tylenol codeine Jack insectoid creatures are you told us about the intrinsic value Herrin show me the value of the I have a
Sierra Madre Ohio what are the what are they do spend their slowly menacing towards you lacking their dangerous Lynn’s medicine isn’t it is now
Madison actually is a verb or not you’re not evil so they’re not all right everybody Killa said take it why don’t why don’t you take evil on Nintendo Land idea I shall take the under advisement empty like a robot or something disappointing this like a 70s TV show what are you talkin I use my armlet of spring
or ensnare enemies I choose not to protect them I would like to ensnare though
they’re not they’re not evil.
Like you know Evans are evil but if you stick your head in it don’t trip like I want to eat a baby I’m a dingo you’re right let’s set them on ruined your life points do you make
they’re just they’re just can’t detect anybody you smash one in the face feeling 19 damaged a roll over here right now
the rest of these guys but they’re not they’re not they’re not having it bouncing off Rob Mead have we discovered most expensive is Tylenol Take 5 motherfuker
disappointment anticipate I did not want to do my Army late in the steering move now that the fighting is start legs are all I look back for my engineering and I look over at Moore and I’m like
I have a magic circle that I can do against evil
I asked Burger Sentai
there’s a there’s a lot of it here can I have some rope I’d like to do some tricks now to distract everyone from have such a plot has become a business called the triple helix it’s really impressive you don’t even have thumbs or anything new
Knox I do when
is there any is there any value in a daddy’s Ruby crystals are these
my disappointment we were in a Yeti net right
I lie on the ground and I open my clothes to the jewels will crawl in
they’re all entangled so they can’t move good or well it’s all shattered his don’t pat yourself tonight. Can I go to Sapphire Charles I got a bunch I get the red one that’s really cool thing are there any Red Crab read my favorite color so I think
I say we kill that what we need to make something happen I take a shit
almost I mean I ate Lennon
take me to mount nazione
Erin mcgathy
Hi Jeff Davis summertime for the mayor Dan Harmon
Spencer Crittenden everybody files to listen to or you can also watch it to males X-Files files podcast
go to a website and listen to the fruit cast as well
figure out what’s again for coming and goodnight
23rd so please watch that when it comes on on Comedy Central
right now.
Play some Elton John come out


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