Episode
Episode: 122 – LIVE from The Roxie in San Francisco feat. Steve Agee
Description
Harmontown begins an epic 4 days of non-stop podcasting starting in San Francisco with none other then comptroller Steve Agee!
Transcript
I ain’t forgot.
Harmontown is now in session
Thundercats comptroller Steve Agee
and now here’s the mayor of harmontown Mr Dan Harmon
San Francisco thank you so much
thank you for staying for the movie and the Q&A and play all seems to be grateful for what these these fans as they watch a 2-hour movie let’s go around the stage and say what we’re grateful for Thanksgiving yeah it’s our favorite city right is heave a G oh my God it’s the nigh was your in my choice of cities to comptroller at guess contraland I said San Francisco no joke I love San Francisco
it’s the New York of of California
kind of what they call it
so much so that that offends them just like New Yorkers yeah that’s in stock that’s in California
see if I have any items to talk about in my giant iPhone 6 plus plus plus that is massive
okay all right here’s something I don’t cotton to using bodies for letters Billboards I don’t think that you should be allowed to use a human body as a letter in the title of your movie I won’t allow it anymore or whatever that movie is
Keanu Reeves it says John wear and then like one of the letters is just Keanu Reeves and we have to fill that in with Arlo.
human being is he in a motherfuker and then I get really pissed off cuz it says John Wick and then the the tagline is don’t set him off
don’t type set him off
thank you good night this will be at the bar next door for everybody
don’t set him off because he’s a wick
because bombs used Wicks Wicks know that use fuses his name is not John fuse and even if it was is the tag I should we don’t use him to set something off
and if he’s a wick the only thing he can set off as a candle don’t use him to make the room slightly lighter don’t use him if you share someone else’s bathroom and you need to cover it up just call him John bum yeah for him to make a billboard
Steve today a second man a second man jumped over the fence at the White House and are charged headlong at it
is it a Federal Offense for us to say this is awesome we’re not saying you should do it it’s just a fun time to be alive at all the fuckedupshit to be going on I think it’s kind of neat that it’s some little rascal shit like a knife and he would and he and he got like up to the like listening to the Lincoln bedroom and took a nap right
he was by the statue of Martin Sheen with his knife is stabbing at practicing for the real president is the new guy have anything I don’t think he treats in his pocket and he kind of punch the dogs a little bit cuz I got him a assault charge if they have guard dogs now instead of like obviously the people were not on the ball yet the free gift shop so the second guy he got he got here and it ran up against the White House’s best friend I don’t know I think it’s neat I think if you’re going to have a white house and have a fence around it I think it should be a tradition that every once in awhile some guy is crazy Verizon know enough to jump it should be like 12 ft High
H-E-B I mean they’ll probably add like now it’ll like electric you you if you touch it right hunt for eggs in the Eastern Turkey every Thanksgiving
what country is Oman in
welcome come on in its kind of a kind of appropriate if they have to actually like make it lasers or something that I got like you put your hand through it and the guy you lose your arm speaking of current events which I know people love to come to the show for cuz there is no other podcast
Ebola
stuff stuff real it’s real I didn’t know that much about ebola and I I I I didn’t know I was that it wasn’t very informed and so I started looking at the Articles and what I’ve learned from the comment section under them is that is that this disease is very scary but on the other hand it’s also very overdue like Africanized Killer Bees remember as a kid there they’re like yeah there’s a killer bees in South America they’re making their way North and now they’re in America I want to do that but again I wasn’t that informed about Ebola
other what I’ve learned from reading the articles in the comment section under it is that it’s a very scary disease but on the other hand it’s very overdue
are we supposed to cheer now because the people are I guess my joke is that the people in the comments sections are so dumb you read the article it doesn’t really matter what the article says by the time you get to the bottom of the comment section you’re like fucking yes make make this stuff is over there I might bust out with a machete take us out we are so dumb conspiracy theories and racist shit like I said you see comments or people are like I thought I saw a comment where a guy said what a coincidence an African flag after we left our first African American president
that is like a bullet didn’t exist classic racism be honest like a Led Zeppelin of racism it doesn’t even have to have anything to do with like break dancing or you know. Like implying that that that Barack Obama is going to paint the house the White House with leopard print or something it’s like it’s like it’s just going straight to the yeah he’s he’s African-American and the Enzo it’s his fault that there’s a African gun control people like always find a way to like start arguing in the middle of a saying like no matter what the articles about there’s always the people to come in and go still like 14 people killed last week with handguns and then and then and then people take that bait and then it’s just like you read these comments sections and you just like yeah bring it in man bring the white walkers in
what are we doing what’s get to the moon what’s to take San Francisco and put it in with me to ask you that I had it one of my one of my things to ask you cuz I haven’t heard you mention in a long time I was like did you bail on the colonizing the moon back to it now I’m like like we got a lot because I’m not scared of a bowl I’m scared of I’m proud of our country for not I don’t know this guy in New York Style guy that he’s a doctor is a for Doctors Without Borders he was he was there with her, but don’t worry Republicans all the people getting the disease so far have been helping people you’re safe ohmygod that is awesome
but it is true I mean it is so far that’s the way you can be in the first world and get the diseases caring too much and I and there’s in these people so far the Earth are healthcare workers and the idea that their health is is you know I mean I’m proud of the fact that week week week we grab them and they got sick trying to help people and it’s we got to we got to take that’s got to be the way to do it as you see these comments people as people anywhere they they go like oh yeah we got it we got to seal up the borders and let this thing run its course it’s courses people and its courses other dudes horse do you want it to run what are you going to shut up America like it’s a newsstands and like just chewing gum and Mentos and and then open it back
yeah customers and employees but yeah I hope that these people are okay I hope that that New York guy makes it through because he’s like definitely definitely got that disease by like giving a huge shit that that that a lot of us don’t give you wearing some right now know what I’m wearing what I’m wearing right now are very threadbare socks where the ankle is all there’s no ankles on my any of my socks where the holes are the ankles are and ankles are heels you got Sharp
old razor blade heels Harmon over there they wear it where the heel is like it’s just skin and in a cyclist to the top of the back of the ship is scrapes there yet
I need new socks so we’ve all been there what’s that
wigwams where a fucking tee pee on your feet Dan
is that the meat is that the new Ugg wigwams has been around forever like Ebola
I’m I’m I’m a man of means I could I could procure my own socks like like if I wanted to and we’re getting a lot done the other day we decided to reward us and incentivize more productivity by taking them to a bar we went to a bar and we were drinking or trying to come up with another story or what if what if I bet does the does a magic trick I don’t know who knows
and then this guy comes in with a big duffle bag it’s and it’s just teeming with all these colorful socks and he’s going sex in a Bard spell list I’ve seen flowers for a lady I’ve never seen the pepperoni guy will in La it’s tamales and Milwaukee there was a guy named Frank who would come in and go
and then you say I’d like a pepperoni to go spice
is there such thing as a spice
socks was this guy selling probably stolen I’m assuming cuz they were very cheap and they just had a lot of them and so here’s my here’s my new philosophical Epiphany so Dan guterman one of the writers like he immediately back to that let’s all think of how funny that is like what a what a what a what an anomaly that is why is he selling stocks at a bar like I need socks and he’s like he just interested in a transaction with a guy can’t determine need socks so that now it’s even funnier never liked from the sax guy Instagram that fucking sucks
we all need sock we all need socks I especially needed socks I’m walking around with with with with scraped uncomfortable heels moldy heels cuz your feet sweat because I allowed myself to be taken out of the Moment by The Matrix
deuterman socks are sick and blush and Anna because gutermann stop past the he was like I’m not going to just enforce the social mores and normality I’m just going to he’s selling socks I need some about buy some fucking sucks the Practical anarchic connection didn’t run it through some super ego or governmental like regulator of like like oh the queen bee wouldn’t like you selling socks right now I should make fun of you and maybe I could get, he points like he’s like my feet needs socks money stocks transaction done and I don’t
bloody I’m just making a point but like I want everyone I think I don’t think San Francisco is the place you have to say this I think I think San Francisco is a City full of good Omens I think they it’s Sauk City that’s what they they used to be called the city by the bay now it’s called Sauk City
Google bus there was a thing of last year we were here in San Francisco me about this there is all explained this to JG I’m sure I’ll get everything wrong
apparently there’s a bit of a gentrification thing happening San Francisco has been through a lot of phases yep there’s like you know there’s it’s a beautiful city.
Full of wonderful people and also some very affordable housing and it’s just like
it’s a big mish-mosh full of awesome somewhere outside the city where they make they make the computers or something and they have
and they make a lot of money and they’re kind of like they have to live in San Francisco and then they like somehow this gentrification thing happens where people get pushed out of neighborhoods that used to be affordable are no longer affordable cuz landlord can make more money off of these these Silicon Valley types that are like like like like like moving in and they have their own transportation or had all use the past test cuz I read about this okay they have Google buses that take them up to Google Mountain is Google I don’t know about that bites if you park in the wrong place if you leave your car in the wrong place you get a ticket you get like a $70 ticket whatever a $700 ticket it’s illegal to be poor as it is anywhere else it’s also illegal to be poor in San Francisco it’s not illegal to have a Google bus that can I use
same bus lines as regular buses this is the site of the people I’m jumping into a whole thing that I don’t know nothing about but but like I said there was a Google bus incident where there was a Google bus parked in a regular bus lane which technically speaking of vehicle is not allowed to do is it is it should get a ticket so it like kind of spontaneously a bunch of citizens sort of like blocked the bus and said you’re not leaving until you pay the parking ticket we would get if our car was occupied paydays and they kind of like kind of the picket signs came out there like Google bus pay ticket go inside or like what about all I did was like Hubert and College
I don’t even know what the city is I’ve never I told him from I’m sure I got all of that wrong but that’s what I got from skimming one USA Today article
is there a Google Google gate Google bus gate expert here somebody that’s more intimately acquainted with the with the buttons and you guys are bored with it that’s what I’m getting and folded arms and roll dies they when I get over it that’s the San Francisco’s live through a lot of phases of like Interlopers the city survives these these Financial Vikings
you know everybody wants to live in San Francisco with their beautiful Eden and they weather it they weather it
they don’t applied for that being said
there their they’re worn out from weather in it and I would never solicit applies make a request since this is a very special time of year can we do a harmontown Sports Corner
Cortana
what do you think what do you think about what’s going on right now and it’s really obvious what I’m talking about
it’s very exciting time at all sports fans
look forward to an dead end, like this is Christmas for sports fans is what I do. I don’t even call it by its actual name like I just call it Christmas for sports fans for America’s favorite pastime fans
that’s that’s baseball
it’s baseball time again
mother of all baseball World Series
favored in in this year’s World Series I mean you’ve got a whole planet full of baseball teams that that where they gradually play each other and whittled down to just two teams and then that determines who’s the best ball pit play baseball team on the planet right yeah I mean I know you know that right now we are at that very specific point in that process or two games in its you to the beginning of the whole process is not like the Super Bowl it’s a series she walked into the World Series which is like fucking
relative to the relative to the World Series duration two games in is the plot point
yeah where is the story circularly Kevin McCallister gets left home alone
I think I would say
maybe
or where Catherine O’Hara comes back
I don’t know okay we’ll meet it I mean food will you must be that much of a sports fan
the World Series right now is had a fever pitch it’s it’s neck-and-neck we don’t know who’s going to win and if you like oh and I always careful being here right now you don’t want to say the wrong team I love Allah I mean look this City’s team is the best team that’s right yeah
you can hit you can hear it in their Applause you can feel it in their hearts like this city has its team fever
they have every reason to be very proud this is a huge corporation that has drafted people from all over
what’s not to be proud of
Master San Francisco Giants two games into the World Series could you ask for a more of a vicious opponent this isn’t even matter right you almost don’t even need to say that the other known threat I think this I think the Giants are going to sweep their
I don’t know it’s going to be tough because they’ve been getting the getting the hits they’ve been getting the runs they’ve been getting the line drives and all of the pop-ups and that that is the game of baseball like it’s not is it like people people focus on foul balls and Strikes it’s not about that it’s about it’s about line drives and pop-ups pay attention to that the Giants are
all right so good luck and we’ll see you at the End of the World Series hope he beat that other day
fuck the Kansas City Royals the Royals
what’s the radio station band the play of the lord song just like in Kansas City since the Lord song okay that’s why that radio station Banda
no it doesn’t say no not really I mean before they they have a potential to get that out of control like book burning almost in San Francisco is hard too hard to pimp for Applause
they’ve heard it all do what they like and they will only apply for that you can just come up here and go
oh yeah I just felt like it
took a trolley over to the
heroin shots not a trolley
how to get the cable car Dan wait is that, trolley I’m so sorry guys
what are some of the trolley is in a minute I have a question about that cuz I passed one of those I saw it. Going up the hill a cable car but there was no cable it’s underneath now or is it is it always underneath okay so it’s the other cities are there overhead and they got the things hooked up to him
okay those are trolleys if they’re electric they have the wires above them this is a cable car literally ache device
are you fucking kidding that bad has looked at straight up Little Rascals right there like that’s a bunch of ducks in a pond Street mass transit
what city is got it all
they’re not the New York of California to Portland of the Bay
Portland delivery will be happy until I say this is city was made by God
Delta city on rock and roll
all right will let’s let’s bring I mean obviously it would be Folly for me to sit here and try to talk about San Francisco when you and our dungeon master spent all day we lit all the sites we hit all the sites
oh my God he’s running
he always runs
wow
hey hey guys here and he ran up here I’m really dispensary San Francisco we saw the realest man we found the finest little little lunch Nook it was called out where they call it should oppose a real down Cuisine and then got drinks at Starbucks afterwards and then at Cold Stone Creamery
call Sana jug that’s exactly what they did every All These Fine artisanal Craftsman everything we could have done in Los Angeles in the airport
just really soaking in the culture
yeah I’ve been feel like I took so much Spencer you got a little sick right now I don’t have a great stomach before harmontown shows it’s documented fact you still a little queasy Oh Yeah from Superstar itis no that’s not why
what is it Spencer it’s just not Superstar itis yeah well well can you counter that was something that I had no anxiety that’s the one
do you still do puke no no I probably will
someday I mean in a couple of minutes
it’ll be fine I’ll just get this guy
he knows he knows
yeah you know last time we were in San Francisco mean AG hung out it was like the first time I’d really you know talk to the guy in person I think and we hung out and got pizzas was good times, nose and then got nothing takes slice and got drinks at a 7-Eleven traffic a murder case to the two of you I don’t know what I would like to watch you try to solve it so comical it would all be centered around how we just see clothes that are higher up than everyone else can see
feel like I do actually on top of the door jamb there’s fingerprints
are we find clues in food bite into a hamburger with a ring in it it’s a hundred percent beef
season with salt and pepper during cooking they told me that on their Twitter account today did they tweet at you yeah because they were like a hundred percent beef and every Patty I’m like you put salt and pepper in it there’s there’s grease in it those things aren’t beef you can’t say it’s a hundred percent beef if there’s things that aren’t beef comprising 100% of the object and then they’re like it is 100% beef we just add these things then I was like that doesn’t refute my point at all
hey do miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
was it San Francisco we were at with sketchfest where that guy was it was it was that where the was here sure but that’s not necessarily where this guy was calm down then the girl in the audience was like he’s a liar
I don’t remember that it was so weird I was just just like 2 minutes into it you just keep hearing Liar Liar by the girl he supposedly Bruno Just A Stranger but not a stranger somebody who then came up and said I think she was a barista at a place that he frequent as you says he’s a character at our place and I he says I think he’s kind of a dramatic personality in that he’s always talking about this girl leaving him but she’s never seen him I really couldn’t figure out what the hell is going on I was I was very interesting how it said on the human compulsion to like figure out what’s right and what’s wrong what just and what was unjust it was like the Maury show but if everyone was just gassing instead of actually having
you are probably not the father Spencer thought maybe
amazing about our species that you can put us in a situation where there’s absolutely nothing at stake but someone saying bad person or a good person going to figure this out who gives a shit like chimpanzees where I like we got to figure this out we got to we got to like artistic as we going to figure out which of these chimps is is is the bad person and we got to like we’re going to deny them further figs and bananas and send them into the forest where they will die and stop contributing reproductive later this week she’s that’s that’s what’s in our gut I guess is when we when we tweet and hashtag and things were like we’re trying to expunge Injustice we want we want to create a good a good monkey species and like get rid of this bad people I love you too even if I knew
fucking liar my friend I wouldn’t say it out loud and it was really from my perspective it is absolutely impossible to tell which of them was a hero or a villain
Daria is it or are you just
all right like right way we create our own little gamergate right here in San Francisco and unraveled that shit sometimes I’m seeing things through a fog all right we’ll meet some San franciscans love to we should we should get to the bottom of them as people hurting tonight we follow the pain I don’t know what else to pay it or they can’t follow the joy let’s see is there
true that it’s coincidentally Within Reach of my microphone cord
feels like they’re hat like they’re kind of their kind of so high in terms of biorhythmic Victories that they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop like they’re actually kind of nervous they’re going to jinx it by bragging there’s a handbag they’re waving back and forth let’s just take a flyer and you come down cuz I can’t I can’t reach back there so I will just trust you and
is that right for him to be standing down there can you climb up here
what’s your name young man shame shame shame that I’ll move I’ll move the body
yeah you’re following the shame if your parents name you shame the other, Ohio it’s a shame so it makes everything good you’re feeling you’re feeling on top of things right now
I’m here to see you so I’m really good so this is what I told them that I was going to come up here cuz I’m actually not why we brought him up here
I got a I got a guy can I get a raise my whiteness so what’s it like being black with a Jewish name and no. Just let’s just get to know you what do you what can we ask how old you are you okay right away she comes back in a drink Vodka whatever I want to you can have it you want to drink
hint hint wink wink right yeah you shouldn’t have to ask I’m sorry I’ll do that and Juice will be your awesome
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
preciate it preciate it I’m drinking Ketel One you guys on the podcast
he’s you
to you so you can two full-time jobs in one part time job right now run down the rundown of work at Panera Bread in a couple hours and then I work at a grocery store during the day and then I helped out at a garden garden for my grandmother asked of sex check with every single woman in the Room San Francisco
are you are you are you can we ask about your sexual preference
so try to ignore the fact that the same time is it works part-time in a garden for his grandma cuz my underwear got a little wet when you said that night night very sexy
did you put a loaf of bread in the oven at the bakery they came here and you
I wish I I go in at 4 midnight to 8 so then I turn around and go from 9:30 to 6 at my other job
when do you sleep when you said No at my second job today so I slept from like 10 to about to be called me to come up here I’ve been here since 4:30 Jesus Christ I am the first person in line
are you a San Francisco native
hey.
Dad Dad can we get a rap about the pinch at the pump or we can ride together it would have been racist of me to bring me the one to bring it up and tell you that’s what I wanted to tell you for him with the other day that’s hilarious to me like those guys what do you mean those guys never had the problem. People but black people liked it but I never I don’t I wouldn’t say it to my black friends because it’s like it’s easy it is to put up a wall cuz it’s like there is things I’m saying
it’s actual technical discrimination right if I didn’t buy the actual definition of that, because it’s like this Bond amazing cultural powerful thing that goes really great word it’s like super cala fragilistic XP I’m making a sandwich I’m going to need some mustard and putting the n-word on the bridge but I’m not going to I’m not going to say that I would not suggest any of my African-American friends that’s how I say it cuz I was a liberal that’s also raises because they’re okay now I’m now I’m a representative of something I know you’re overthinking it is my job as a white man
yeah I will end racism I began it I’ll take care of it
don’t worry it’ll be fine Cleanup in aisle three simple as that so are we both I kind of like the idea of like we find somebody else in San Francisco that can that can bust a good beat
that’s how you doing man I say play that shit. I’m fucked up man I feel you wake me up real good, San Francisco cable car at your mama’s house up with my dick in her vagina and it had like a mouse to but inside the wouldn’t come out and then after a while I put it back in her mouth no new taxes
do do do do do do coming on strong affect your mama like I was short and long I think I did it in the summer and fall affect your mama but it didn’t matter at all Sysco
Alcatraz
what ocean
keep in the bowels of your mother’s vagina and Armon
talk to Mama on nevermind day we put your momma on that Tuesday or no Wednesday
every day is the week she’s getting the D
all right we will be wrapped
shame rap
that was all that music was so intense that
been a long time since you rap
it was like getting on a bike it felt misogynistic now though I feel like I feel like the world is changing underneath her feet and I was like I started my fucking Mamas and now it just give me some agency but mothers like to be bucks though it doesn’t it doesn’t pass the what’s the bechdel test what’s the
I don’t think any mail email shows to fuck me that’s still doesn’t pass the bechdel test know it’s true it’s true your mama was at the store she had a nice flower with her friend a flower with a friend
gather with some friends in a feminine ways oh they weren’t to find by their gender at all. They went and tried some things at the at the ball I have but not in an elegant Cinderella way it was more like just a ball for people okay
it wasn’t like people worked or laying in
yo yo yo mama yo mama yo mama yo mama yo mama but this is the story about how before she was an activated woman
doubt doubt doubt doubt doubt doubt your mama woke up at 10 and said I need some food she ate some crackers and was in a good mood got in her Prius and drove to the models how to find buy my gender at all from the south to the other end North she she she did some job interviews and every time she met was refused to see her as a person
so she refused to work there
and she started her own business entrepreneurship
Google call the corporation my idea of feminism is straight out of the movie 9 to 5
you can convince me to be a good person but I will still drive just Dabney Coleman
and the energy that is she had her own little job is the way to go it sure it was left we’re not putting any money into education we’re not treating the people that get the pay for the education will act like they’re entitled to anything that we’re not providing daycare and we’re not providing medical care so we better reward on Premiership or rather I should say everybody should go be an entrepreneur you ate that guy that was offering like he’ll give you $10,000 if you drop out of college because he was like
all right all I hear is electric eel
you guys see that documentary about the student debt and stuff like that Jose it’s it’s very interesting what it’s called Aaron was watching it it’s fucked up man I reach our Ivory Tower
that I heard
cuz one person was cuz they’re real words that guy’s name is like Shimmer meet me Meryl
say Harry Potter I’ll understand it motherfuker
alright corn how long will it take 40 minutes 40 minutes
204 North you flew over Google Mountain and landed in the land of clam chowder bread bowls all right so she hears the stickers the elephant in the room though you’ve got three jobs to full-time to part-time. You just wanted to be on stage I said who’s on top of the who’s on top of the world right now who’s really you you really are happy even though you just wanted to be on stage because I’m very happy right now just before I just saw your documentary I gave you a hand for the vodka with you this is a dream come true right now
we did it I want to try an experiment who who is who is miserable we have a miserable person coming on Ice I want to see maybe we can we can trace our kind of human emotion battery with put a wire between his mouth in yours and then we can like run a city out of there something you can do it just don’t sue us if it goes wrong my name is Austin Austin okay just a nation in the next Austin okay that’s True Detective season 2
Matthew McConaughey like 2006 Matthew McConaughey isn’t it Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell this season I heard that God damn it you don’t feel about it and Woody Harrelson what are you would you would have been like no because that’s when I hear Vince Vaughn I have that same response to the McConaughey cuz it’s like Vince Vaughn and that’s yeah I’ll watch that whatever happens that sounds interesting but I am on Farrell I don’t know you’re right it’s like that’s so fucking weird like it’s like whatever happens is going to be interesting like I didn’t expect my you know McConaughey to be all like I’m in a Lincoln by Linkin
whatever but he it was interesting to watch happen he’s just like I don’t know because you don’t ever sit call Darrell you don’t have to figure this out tonight
the show opens in 2 hours the logistics are really tough but like you know Austin why are you miserable top three top three I was in a relationship for like 6 years that just ended maybe a month ago, truth or on that it ended in a straight relationship yeah yeah the best kind
wow wow that come from
I actually heard that is just be absurdly obtuse like and then I just realized you asked like that was important or somehow the answer and I had a reverse a homophobic reasons like I’m reverse racist and homophobic which is equally probably bad people so much you wanted I thought in my head as I asked and I was like why did you ask that and I realize the answer it if if if you were gay it’s more tragic
it’s more tragic when when when gay men break up then when a man just breaks up with a woman way more emotional facts
and if they can if they can find each other and be in a relationship it’s a beautiful thing it’s more beautiful than two straight people and if they break up it’s more tragic thank you San Francisco
I may have to buy property here soon I just want to try to see if I can lower than house price to have a house for me alright so so yeah I just I don’t know I just wanted a mental image I don’t know I wanted to know if it’s so so young lady you broke it off 6 months ago so that the six-year relationship and it about a month ago I don’t listen it’s cool I’m not fresh. Yeah I feel a little bad about number two because I feel like it should take more present is because it’s been around longer I don’t really have like a relationship with my family who I live with very like a huge family to have like seven brothers and I’m right in the middle and I just don’t I just don’t have that relationship that people have with their you live with all of them not all of them currently one
Wendy’s in San Diego the San Francisco California one of them lives in Tacoma Washington to San Diego of a washing washing back from Afghanistan in the Army, I don’t I don’t know and then my other brothers are one of them lives on like a fucking ranch or something not far, and then the rest of them are younger than me so they do in fact live with me in chanted by my family yeah totally I actually said that the other day when when me and my girlfriend were breaking up I said why isn’t everything like like a TV show I don’t I don’t get it
I don’t have that frame of reference that everyone has words like MIT will you know it’ll be cool I’m always just like why don’t I feel like I act like I have that with anyone but I have one more question do you have a snow globe with the cast of an entire hospital drama inside of it
wow that is an old ass reference dude that is an old ass reference 30% trickle of people who just know that as a reference
I’ve never seen Gone With the Wind but I know that he doesn’t give a damn about my dear or something I’ve never made it to Wizard of Oz when she had him the whole time or something in the trees are monkeys
is it a hard plot points of that mostly but yeah I mean that’s my mom and dad are not coming to my wedding and I feel like it’s because something wrong with me because I like you just finished watching a movie where of course is a big plot point the movie where I’m like my mom hit me and spank me and I think they’re kind of sick of it I don’t think they want to come to a wedding we’re like Joel McHale’s there and just watch the movie about how they hit me I think they’re like I’m assuming all these things cuz they’re very polite I would say reptilian but they look like they did they say why they just fucking sick of it I’m forced to have a 41 year old child who is in his 35th year of making money by talking about how they beat him
and they’re like I’m not going to that wedding going to be uncomfortable going to be looking over at us and wish whispering and make me feel bad cuz it’s like I know that I think about my extended family it’s like I don’t I just I do nothing but fumble balls they’re just out of like I don’t care I don’t care I have that exact the exact thing or liked they try it why don’t you know that they try to engage me genuinely but I just I don’t I don’t care and they don’t they don’t measure up there like you should come over for Christmas so that we can fight know exactly
think of a TV show offered that a big no I’m not going to tune in to watch the Christmas episode and said see you fight while that that is what we do but but but but I don’t know what it is it makes me feel bad it makes me feel like I’m a shity person yeah I get that it makes me feel with the tubes in your nose and you’re going to be like everyone where is everyone going to be like we’re gone cuz you didn’t care what kind of solution to your parents not coming to your house to play my parents
play Camptown a terrible play Tom Skerritt of Bryan Cranston would like
yeah like I got like maybe get an A-list guy to be my Dad Morgan Freeman Godfrey Gilbert Godfrey
I have my dad and my son got sick yesterday supposed to say you a good Gilbert he’s a hero of mine I haven’t talked about this yet I don’t know if it’s appropriate to talk about it cuz I don’t know the guy and I don’t know like when I was backstage I met him and I was like hey I’m such an honor to have you here so great that you were here and he’s like okay you are actually kind of like you have to go out and introduce me okay and he just kept saying okay like you don’t know me and he doesn’t he’s bummed out and he’s lethargic and he doesn’t care he’s okay and then he kind of like I didn’t feel like I had the right to tell him to go out so you can hear the recording people are spontaneously erupting into chicken noodle sick of waiting for him to go out
afraid to ask him to go out so then if he comes out and he just starts like pumping it you just like the audience is like screaming for him and he’s like milking the crowd and then he sits down to great show we get off stage and I’m like oh my God that was so great thank you okay
and then he disappeared into the night like Starman he just he just turned into Cosmic Dustin went up and that that’s where Saturn’s rings come from these Delights up performer that’s what they call what I really wanted to ask him is is that likely quit cuz we’re friends with Bobcat so we know the Bobcats thinks of that voice that he would do like you know that guy that’s a character and I didn’t I don’t know Gilbert godfried well enough to ask him I wanted to ask him is that do you call that a character or is that how you speak when you’re projecting your voice cuz I think there’s a subtle but important difference like I really wanted to know but I didn’t have the balls to ask him and I thought I’d share just with the going on in my life and of the lowest Stakes glad you got to hear the San Francisco chaudin talks about the previous track
he really gets to the bottom of nothing just asked questions and puts things he remembers he needs butter
it was a great use of San Francisco’s time we watch the 2-hour movie about him and then he and then we watched him to think about things that we got company name totally illogical happiness happiness bread from the ferry was hot Minecraft you get get the
I mean to complain about shame but you got a girlfriend maybe they have a girlfriend that’s what it is the women it’s it’s it’s the it’s the one you don’t feel like you have somebody to share your life with right Spencer oh man I woke up at like 4 in the morning cuz I had a nightmare about a giant dog size spider and then I went back to sleep and had a nightmare where my ex came back and then like disappeared like a ghost and then I couldn’t get back to sleep which one was scarier the spider was scarier in terms of shity I think I could have probably handled the spider a bit better
the trick is to quickly snap off one or two Limbs and
from there it’s just Easy Pickins
play comes the Monstrous spiders you don’t fight at unicorn you just don’t answer their sacred forest in the first place
that’s kind of a cop-out answer what if you found yourself in a what if you were drugged and woke up in their sacred Forest that’s not a unicorn that would be some sort of doppelganger trick
what about a Keebler Elf you know Keebler elves are yeah they make cookie they make cookies yeah I would you fight three of those the same way you’d fight any three infants I guess
entrance
I’d be so offended if I was an elf actually off if you’re a Keebler Elf we’re very sorry I can’t believe we can a Rube Goldberg visit is the whole thing power is that like the chicken gets startled by a balloon popping and make all of your mass transit guy you’re taking the green things you seriously can we can we can I don’t know how close she is to be able to be down here I are you in the back Aaron Aaron
future mrs. Harmon my other half Erin mcgathy
uuu I’ll stand over here at the q-and-a Mike and I’ll give this might to Aaron Aaron here take this double Mike’s thank you
so yeah Aaron you’re my mom now. Breaks my mom you’re my mom yeah probably I want to move to Australia that’s why I’m doing it I know but I didn’t know you’re ready for my mom yet I do not know anyone in Australia I know I sure leaves are in Australia you just want to go to Australia I want to live there and not being America do you know a guy right it’s just full of like murderous creatures and plants South America I mean not creatures and plants no like this black grass in Canton oh there’s grass in Australia that will give you chlamydia oh wow that’s cool he just having a nice picnic ham the clap when is chlamydia the clap
wow. Always shut is that what your girlfriend told you
it’s the grass Spencer Frozen remember to remember that I got Sam crabs there big
just sand crabs in suffering a fiance as described and Furious movie reviews it’s a good thing to describe someone that long suffering the Biblical word how are you
is that how you that what Biblical words are a Bible I brought shame up and he he’s he said he was happy
give me a no for right now at this very moment I’m happy and the high because we’re here with him and he’s up here then I brought Austin up he’s unhappy because his woman done done run off earlier and 30 second fire word association
no no holding back nice or are you guys going to say the words, come on back and forth start with a severe because they have to know that they’re safe in order to actually do this properly otherwise it’s just a dick you know if Eric will judge your alone in a cave how do we know when it ends who’s stopping it
animal start with Shane
tomato tomato ketchup vodka
cure
a ship white black and red interracial sign
harmontown podcast
Aaron Carter
how I beat Shaq and Kobe Bryant and time your it was a pitch and catch situation instead of a mutual throwing and catching his word inspires your will who won the first round who won the audience is the winner I love Aaron Carter album
alopecia corner is over
let’s figure 2:15 okay just save the first word that comes to mind from the other person all right we will start killer a new sentences and if you say you’re a bad person and just know that you’re a bad person died and then about next time you will not say OK dog get Fox Hound owl new animal go Pokemon Blue version version and time
can you guys feel that house better battery
we need a solar battery tender solar batteries
I really like it I just don’t know I think we’re starting a religion right as we’re going to really really carefully tiptoe down that road cuz I saw the master right isn’t that kind of what they’re doing a little bit we’re going to start that next week I’m going to have them hold tin cans will they do this Pokemon
yeah for real for real I like that you guys didn’t say okay now okay we’re going to do a a seen a shame you are a shopkeeper okay you you have a store that only sells pickles raura a shopkeeper who only sells asparagus but you’re you’re you’re coming in pretending to be a customer
because you want to buy his shop like the property the property of his shop is to expand or just to move them you want a better life better location because you blame locate you don’t believe that people like pickles more than asparagus you’re just that your business is failing you want his place so you’re Tori him for weaknesses but you’re pretending to just shop for pickles and this morning you received a mysterious Telegram in the mail when is it taking place
that is that is part of it that is part of it helped me Nazi war machine in crouching stop
and shame has pyrokinesis
that mean I can set things on our own with your brain this is your life
that’s really shity ya live in a world where allergy to penicillin is a is a crime you can be arrested for it so we’re just itching all the time about stuff I don’t know great-uncle
I’m David Alan Grier’s great-uncle made of blank you don’t know that I don’t know what the hell you 1942 no blanket San Francisco
no I’m going to send all these pickles on fire with my mind and it’s awesome
who said that
are you ready
I’m looking at 60 whenever you want I’m on number to do you have to wait there’s no one here but you still have to wait for you what do you sell pickles how much do you how much you run this place for how much do I attract depressing it’s stupid surprising still but if it was kind of Brian I don’t do that I only said pickles the fire with my mind to be cucumbers so when I set the cucumbers on fire hour later
so what kind of pickles do you want your allergic to penicillin also has rash that won’t go away I’m scratching myself and I just I heard it from his mouth
to report such things. That’s what I that’s what I thought I just heard some music practice turns out we got a penicillin allergy over here
your voice is very falcetti like I was most of the people are registered I like to think that I overcompensate for it but it’s good to see you jumping out of pretty easy bandwagon
remember what they told us in Ireland if it’s easy to say what you’re saying is that was weird back to the pickles if I could just get some regular Mustard Pickles that would be heard about you don’t you don’t lie to me don’t lie to me I got the pickles I just think that asparagus much like the white blond blue-eyed race which I hope to one day be a part of it is is just so Superior I am what are you trying to say I’m color-blind I don’t see race it’s really well I’m white with blue eyes but I’m very trusting which some people think is a character flaw
and I feel you should take advantage of me I really just I want to bring asparagus to the people in the most healthy and excremental E stinky way
because I think it’s important what do you think smells better pickles are asparagus
in a while I will pickles for sure and pickles coming out probably
and God took note of the rest of what happened that day from him it’s funny you should mention that because almost immediately you know the white blue haired blue-eyed guy is pyrokinesis went crazy and exploded the world
that’s really a shame story
alright alright man often harmontown
we really we really really yeah they’ll be really really wrote those guys card they said they they they they aren’t it
giving dad Harmony hug guys at the bakery in The Panini Shoppe in high fives all the way up the aisle hiding them in that vegetable garden
pick Mom basil
same nailed it
uncanny is like I’m so happy I’m going to is the dirt tilt
should I wear the person in charge of you till the dirt and I’m going to poke holes in it drop seeds in the holes cover over the holes with dirt wait for the seeds to grow into germinated things put water on them to keep what is the vegetable garden Australian, digger
come to this park is a bunch of Class Grass alright recognition are you all right are you are you are you equipped to do DND tonight whatever
so we got a we got a dignity sarsgaard we got me a Geo play cork I assume and we would need a Christopher desire I want to figure out how to what the base it on so I got is in a weekly Pathfinder game what’s an expert role player
but you can be anyone you can help us get back on track if you come on up Sir your your your your your Zeal alone should Propel you to the Stars
what is your name sir Matt Matt Matt ajh yeah I’ve seen this guy before all right did is there anything we didn’t cover we covered Ebola mass transit
that cable car things is amazing
Ebola and piercing and mass transit and feminism and apples I hesitate to ask but do you want to hit gamergate I do not want to find it very fascinating and I don’t just miss it at all and I don’t do not dismiss it and I don’t know did not dismiss dismiss it and I don’t mean just missed not dismissing it amazing that this new generation is like like is able to create like like kind of whirlpools and I’m not even dismissing it by saying that like like where you just like you’re 41 in Hugo
that is like that you can’t get through that like like like it should be a casual person like coming through an issue and get from one side of it to the other and grab a drink from the bar and it and come back to it you will be on one side or the other whatever those sides are in this issue like like we have gotten really good at outrage we’ve gotten it at like at shaming each other and like you can’t you can’t say much of anything without without there’s always going to be the possibility of just like a huge group of people like like like really on your shit I already lost someone know she’s she’s
yeah he hates gamer guy takes over shames branded her a gamer Gator she hates that she hates them I’m a little of bifocals and read gamer gamer articles just three times and try to figure out like what the fuck you. I don’t care I would let you said you don’t care, I’m not going to lie I really I know you can’t actually say it
can you wait for it to blow over is that doesn’t make you a bad person that’s fine
stop let’s see if I can last another three months and then all the way in just a 15-year olds what’s happening you guys ever on Fortune baby doll kids you just get your credit card hacked I’ve been dying to see you. To see this character sheets and to see what’s on there just lies
it’s all locked doors are in not a joke
yeah there is very fortunate very drunk
just like that your microphone
so there’s a rope in the street
and it pulls the car I pulled the car up a hill like a wagon and then it’s a cable it’s not a robe that’s dismissive
there’s a there’s hooks on the
right
and the cable is got so it’s sort of like a ski lift in principal and do you do you reverse it at the at a certain time
like an escalator upside down like an escalator forever I know can I try not to Trolley Square it goes up and then it goes back down
oh oh it goes around about cable cars there’s no cable gate it’s not boring it’s only boring two women having fun at the
maybe maybe and maybe that museums for Me Maybe it maybe I’m like a one guy that museums been waiting for I have a lot of questions about cable cars
I kind of love it
I want to cable car
I don’t know it sounds like Dustin as music Dustin 60 seconds so let’s do some word association able car hot dog man cancer
but call why am I doing hemorrhoids what do you say
mustard
Mustard Seed House Dustin doing
all right well we could go acapella I mean
sure sure
number 11 when we last met Our Heroes had finally escaped from Rose book after defeating at Worlds after defeating father tender dodging the City Guards the gang piled into dignities horse and they charge the police blockade breaking out of the town without direction or Heroes came across a small hill in a swamp the hill with a window during into the window spiders showering lady and friend her but after a terrible excuse the gang entered her home they shared some awkward conversation before leaving but when they left they encountered a crippled fire Elemental and although they started in anger and rage they came to an understanding and left the fire Elemental alone but not before court burn this dick off in an ill-fated sexual assault but where would they gain go what would they do how would they get to the air city did they even care
about getting their find out next Harmon
alright so you guys you guys are your the main road heading out of Rose book this path is main road is winding its way Meandering through the rolling grassy Hills in the landscape gently to the Northeast this is the path of Sharpie decided to go down after you guys said that you couldn’t go farther into the swamp and then you left the lady and you didn’t want to go back to town so you’re just like I’m going down this road that’s where you are I’ve been pushing the testing the limits of like can you actually just make Spencer you learn
I can but I’ll regret it regret it if I if I if I couldn’t it would be because you were a tyrant you’re not a tyrant thank you but Neville it impersonal Cosmic Force that’s why I didn’t walk west in One Direction forever I will encounter cacti and swamps that’s what’s their what’s to the West I got to go back to your narrative well that’s not even necessarily true you just have to create your own narrative I will so are we still close to the town can we see the town from where we are but you can still see it you know it’s one of the only landmarks in this kind of chilly area yeah I’m curious can we tell whether Dark Star has gotten through the shield protecting the town or whether the town is being totally destroyed Dark Star was actually chasing you guys down but then he saw something happening over the town and
they left the skeletons climbing the force field and then they disappeared in a Flash upset Dark Star you think it might have had something to do with that Necromancer Frost giant but he’s miles away
boy that. I’m not connecting the Necromancer Frost giant I know the plot it just happens whether or not anyone pays attention you know it’s not a big surprise that I’m always drunk over playing I don’t recall any actual over connections between the Necromancer Frost Giant in that stuff yeah that would be me and narrator explaining things that you the characters would have no knowledge of so no I didn’t say anything or you didn’t still going into the city he was chasing you guys saw the thing took off
we should head to the air City you do always say that those skeletons back at the city they remind me of that Frost Giant
thank you for sharing your feelings of Association Frost giant wanted the Admiral
sarsgaard
the weekend so you got killed by the frost giant Necromancer and then we gave him the Shard we can only get the Army it might have vanished and in the scuffle yes sir is something going on with you but it seems that this says
pregnant sometimes I feel like someone is controlling me that may or may not be an alcoholic
that’s all I have blackouts where I am motivated by different things sometimes I could come become conscious and I’m halfway down the road then I ran down out of defiance of nothing
then I’m a little more sober I don’t know ask it a question I ask myself every morning in a puddle
I don’t want the world to be destroyed by Admiral Darkstar
I say hey what are you guys talking about over there
what are obligations I mean what are we doing it for now for not saving the world of Admiral dark stars going to have like a crew power and become a more powerful Admiral with darker Stars
so it seems like a great idea long-term for us to take out Dark Star we’ve been fighting for two years now I have to ask a question dignity like this is your town and it’s being swarmed over by skeletons you know me better than I know me
hahaha should we not while we’re here go kick the asses of the things that are trying to destroy yourself that’s a great idea okay that’s fine and I promise no matter what happened I’m really going to understand what we’re doing and why we’re doing it
be careful when you carry your little one all right so you right back towards the town and you can’t help but notice a conspicuous lack of skeletons as if they’d all disappeared you get close through the town and closer still and you you see you see small piles of Ash not not skeleton size but just small piles of Ash that’s seems to be the only sign that any any creatures or anyting have been around the town obviously is still protected by this. Yeah you haven’t entered the town physically as of yet but they’re not you said they’re not skeleton size the piles of Ash like now
we heard screaming and Mayhem and no sound of combat or so you don’t see any skeletons just this ash business and that the Dome protecting Rose book from all evil we did we get it as we were leaving I looked over and saw the skeleton to disappear I think it was like a I don’t know a dark star figures gone to he took off after he saw the scales on a wheat beer if you want but you did escape from police
there’s no one to fight let’s go all right okay well if there’s anything to that yeah you examine the piles of Ash and they seem they seem not to be ass at all but actually really finally crushed up Onyx dust that the gemstone associated with necromancy as well as up teleportation magic interesting I wonder who could have sent Legions of skeletons
giant I mean I already had the feeling that he was involved
a gentleman music this is it was just piles are deposits that are the result of residual result of teleportation Magic on the part of a necromantic giant or just dumped is done using them they’re no longer viable maybe he got he was able to get the shard
I I thought I thought the Dark Star was commanding the skeletons it sounds like you know either Darkstar and this guy are working together The Necromancer they didn’t seem to be aligned in the past why are you looking at me like I was already two stories that people are looking at me like I’m supposed to do something I don’t think there’s any way that the solar system is I mean it like they’re both giant assholes little do nothing to stop at nothing to get a fucking dumbass charge I’ve run across both of them I think they they don’t think they would work together put it in my backpack you do that you gather up several dust
all right we got to figure out what to do okay so the skeleton showed up the skeletons assailed the city it’s like and I are I remember Darkstar going like
and it getting mad and leaving it’s like the skeleton showed up and skeletons represent the frost giant they showed up then they disappeared then Admiral dark start disappeared if we really wanted to get into The Fray that means it’s back at the ice Chad Frost Giants City I don’t know why we’d want to go there but accept the save the world eventually but it would have to be in a really unlikely cuz we’re not an army of skeletons or a giant Oreo or horrible powerful Wizards we’re just a ragtag group of occasional rapists and murderers
The Souls of rapists and murderers but we have more than bones we have heart literally
we both are leveled up a lot since the last time we fought that guy so climate is
there is a people you know just busy people living their lives there’s occasional guards standing around their noticing your horse and pointing at you and start to yell and grab torches and approach the most interesting accent a Teleport there’s no teleporting in that Blood book I’m afraid he’s like you ran me over with the horse when we were trying to find you because we thought you were asking for somebody else you’re going to have to stop
get off that horse their diplomacy and I said what’s the opposite way that we’re going to start noise and Fridays at 6 what’s up I feel like that’s like performance or something you don’t have any performance rains Apartments, certainly not diplomacy I’ll start playing the wire saw makes her seem a lot more so
you managed to get out of there I consult my my gym of audience talking to because I’m wondering am I missing something or someone in our party have the power to like Mass teleport no we can just go there we could like rest up and had on our way I have three scissors
I don’t know that’s what’s on this
all right well I mean yeah oh that was from a good worker who didn’t he looted a barbershop. Coming back remember that
our trail that brought us here like back when we were at that Frost giant City yeah how many trans planar World jump did we make or is it a physical world you took you took you took a Tylenol with codeine out from there so is like a unicorn jaunt do we know how to get back to that Frost Giants today exactly you know the general heading but I mean it’s a mountain range that Sino well-known
what do you want to do
second world what was the deal with their City again what was there oh you know just a robot baby memories right ones of possibilities that no one’s choosing so where do we go it’ll take us sometime we haven’t slept in like literally 20 Adventures like let’s camp for the night and let’s start making it on the on the horse and on our way up grade is just selfish chaotic evil kind of garbage like we’re like a video game
but on the other hand the going back to the frost Giants city is like kind of almost fewtile like a naive maybe we could help be good screenplay second of all I
is dignity Service Guard my my sense of righteousness motions to move towards the range, do you have for knives
nice word for safe I got four knives I’m coming to of course
you shamed me for it is celebration praising God I am a ride and then we can
yes this is the good part and at the camp fire
guys let’s talk
I’m going to turn in my dad
my dad used to beat me So High by the campfire I whittle a
alligator
I concur Sharpies hair
boat yeah that happened
it’s an alligator a shape of an alligator but it doubles as a close pin the alligator’s mouth is like a close pin thing that’s clever it’s cool
it’s cool we can use this to hang clothes
or just pin them
I repeat an Elvis chance myself telling myself to be strong and from the rivers of the father tombstones runs deep through the Dank fire song
Ruby River
3
and sunset
all right and then we wake up thank God no spiders attacked us and your hair looks great
I even cut some of those split ends with one of my
we keep traveling okay I thought the camp fire was going to be some sorta yeah you keep traveling and you come across the small color. The cut it stops and you see a small boy perhaps thirteen years of sitting inside this tent holding a hand-painted sign that says Wilderness guide twenty gold pieces
inflation handyman I’m like six hundred thousand feet of rope for that
you could or you can hire a great Guide to the Wilderness I’m little Baskins and I’m a Wilderness guide what know you
Giant
oh I know all about all the Wilderness that’s why I guide people through it
well I have this sign I’m holding the sign right so you can read it
hahaha it’s Lynch was so if you’d have a supper load man I don’t get your Jive speech here’s what you will get ten sovereigns not a penny more accepted in the realm hear their gold well I asked for 20s on the sign clearly marked Reserve 40 uzurv 40 40
will you trade for yarn I have yarn in my backpack I’ll give you two copper for some yarn man if you want yarn I mean if you have yarn I want it I got benden, what is your name what is your name called Ascend will Baskin Lil Baskins a Baskin
well boy I hope you’re prepared to go on the adventure of your life I hope you’re prepared to keep paying me
be at beyond the double price that we paid you that’s the Baskins guarantee
that we have to keep paying you that Sebastian’s guarantee you know we’re going to the frost giant City we go talk
how long will it take to get there little baskets several days at least Baskins
of your parentage oh I was born in a Baskin is there a mrs. Lowe Baskins know I’m a child okay
very I don’t know we have a robot that be all right
sharp Sharpie we pay this boys well let’s go tent here and we’ll be okay let’s go
and you set off towards the mountains that I mentioned so much fucking time that we’ve spent all right okay that’s it
little basket a lot of digital basket that’s a little hard to make a lot of town before we thank everybody let’s go well let’s make Rick in the Roxy for having us here Roxy