Episode
Episode: 153 – You Do Not Spam Fireballs
Description
The reason Harmontown exists, Emily Gordon, guest for the first time. Kumail drops in, feminists are responsible for 99.9% of blowjobs and sperm is like a slushy. Watch the video at harmontown.com/live! Become a member!
Transcript
do you guys like hilarious comedy podcasts
you guys are in for a 2zz
Hollywood California meltdown, come the Meltdown nerd milk melt email to showroom harmontown
is now in session
your game Masters always is treasure Crittenden
Levemir harmontown
thank you
Chris Chris can we finish that conversation feels important should I go like this
oh okay I don’t want to be an asshole but why not put the Mike there
I should totally totally for my identification for the cameras as we continue to to to ruin the audio podcast by with art with are horrible cameras and Video Killed the Radio Star lullaby voice
focus on the resonating chamber of my Velociraptor skull neither feature update the Imagine telling your 25 year old South say hey I’m Jeff Davis it’s the year 2015 I’m sending you a message from the future the Supreme Court has just determined that everyone in the whole country marriage is just marriage that’s all it is just
and and Canada did it 10 years before marriage right
roofing companies Ireland guest of Marc Maron podcast
he’s going to say the n word
sing Amazing Grace for the funeral but I feel like with some classes he could really pull it out
acapella the organist I think at the on the choir finds them and finds it and then there are they all start singing along but there was a moment when he started singing We are going to miss this guy so much the lame-duck Obama is the the fucking FDR of the century is like amazing by the way here’s how I really feel and when I go yeah that’s why I voted for you a long time we had a very good weekend watching people end and he didn’t spike a lot of footballs and do a lot of Endzone dancing
so this is Edward thing of like he of all people like make me leave these thoughts that start with key of all people that that’s the same thing is like that that’s Obama is less allowed to talk about race than any pre-existing president did he has been targeted by more racism that his Twitter account can’t say hey sign up for healthcare it without who is click on it cuz it’s always fast and it was always the n-word is always somewhere in there literally just the n-word and ends like
you’d like him to speak out and make everything right and every time it is in this changing age when you do everything over finding out about the racially hot things like the president of the United States is. Is that supposed to necessarily like come down to every city and make a big speech and raise a big stink about everything that’s going wrong and let alone the first black president the United States every time that guy speaks up about anything racial people just fucking shit and so he’s been he’s been practical and now he doesn’t have to be any goes in a Marc Maron the garage and fucking lay down
and rounding out the triumvirate of of holy shit is the dream is coming true the LAPD is now killing middle-aged white men know that’s horrible to get to hope his family isn’t the fan does but it’s also like the fuck is going on they took these cops that shot that got I’m going to lay my cards on the table let’s just go to the race racist place like let me be a white racist let me please let me know that we don’t have to worry about that anymore cuz it’s different being racist is he being insensitive let me be insensitive and racist so that we can like cut straight through to what’s really disturbing about a white 48 year old guy holding a towel getting gunned down by cops who according to their training are supposed to shoot you if you hold a towel up
why aren’t owls illegal
aren’t I
this is getting extreme and if it takes a white guy to make white people go ok deal-breaker
it’s not because we think that the black people deserve it it’s because secretly white Liberals are going I think that the racist part of white liberals is the part of a vigilante about about race relations that’s what white people do we should we wear like I cuz you know I that’s the that’s the one racist thing all except white people are born racist
the racist part of us like goes like when we hear about these cop that opportunity stuff we you know that part of us is going like yeah but that’s kind of a hard job
dress like Hitler Youth like
walking around a bunch of black people that’s got to be tough but you know that we think that you know that we think that and then and then we go I don’t think white guy not a white cop naughty yourself and have a good shot nearly wait a minute how is my brain functioning this is like like like this is this is all what the fuck this is insane the system is I don’t know what to do about it but you can’t if you can’t hold a towel and you can’t be all sympathies
I’m not going to let you push my buttons and I’m not I know that I’m making for that
I said let’s be racist let’s go to the
a fine distinction let me be racist let me be rapists I said that let me be racist and said like why is that the deal-breaker and why the fuck more importantly if because if we were giving a pass a pass to cops in areas where white people felt like maybe maybe we felt like it was a demilitarized zone or we felt like a liberal politically but I can’t imagine doing that job must be real hard by the way sanitation workers get killed more often than cop like like I don’t Sanitation
are people picking them up with guns from the rooftop or did it get crushed by being mistaken for raccoons is like the highest cause of death in the United States other than experimental aircraft I don’t know I don’t know I’m talking to my dad that’s why
and now and now I approve of that
now I’m seeing the danger cousin
Johnny deep cut is giving you the high-class 11 anyways
where was I I was being racist now can we go like okay so if you’re a squad car and you’re stuck in broad daylight traffic on Los Feliz Boulevard where there’s six yogurt shops within a mile radius and a 48 year-old white jogger with a towel in his hand 10 also provoked of the same response like like is it can we definitely like call it quits and if we use that as the deal-breaker can we just revealed that we’ve all been racist and that maybe that’s why this whole fucking problem in the first place. My only point because I and I’m I’m I’m I’m willing to are you saying that you wasn’t broken yet but you still kind of consider how can I can see that well at a byproduct of that that job in that part of town I think that the deal was broken a long time ago
abstract in a single word connect is late like the 8th is the idea that people that have feet of typical characteristics all live on one block that’s where things become like what were identifying as racist user class issues and cultural issues and stuff and so I think that within that Maelstrom yes I will say to you yes I have always I have always thought in the back of my head always in the back of my head I have always thought boy that that that can’t be a good gig
I have to be a race thing like or can it just be a class thing because we live in a neighborhood where that where that shooting took place the rent is very high there is it is it possible that for you because it’s so close to where you actually live in your show like that’s not what do you mean by that man-made constructs like the things that we are forced like they are if you live in a world if you grew up in a high school or all of the red headed people sat at 1 lunch table if there were as much attention paid to freckles or or the weird like Continuum of skinny Shades that exists within what we consider African American skin tone Middle Eastern skin tones and whites
everybody’s skin is a different color to it yes there’s genetic characteristics and things but compared to the things that actually make a difference as an artificial construct its man-made so it’s not when we’re talking about racial things Rachel hot buttons were talking about the actual existence of a black community we don’t actually mean a bunch of people who are united by genetics alone that kisses in all kinds of trouble like that that’s really really a huge sleight-of-hand we’re talking about class and we’re talking about the fact that there’s been these like forest in position we should have all been fucking each other a long time ago we should all be but but but statistically speaking if there hadn’t been ever any been xenophobia when anyone landed on the coast of anything if there have never been any imposition of any artificially asserted contract we would
just look like Halle Berry and Tiger Woods by now we were in pain and Benjamin Bratt and whatever we do none of us would give a fuk and it’s okay that it’s okay that we can still exist in that world cuz we don’t have long necks since I’ve been with a big noses would you like to hear toes and some people have to shovel teeth and some people don’t space Jesus Christ we don’t have to be in such a hurry at all fuck each other but like I was some people have tattoos
those are termites
race is an artificial construct is my point
thanks guys have a good night thanks
drive safely if you could what do you think was definitely the ability to digest wood
I imagine all insects are totally jealous of termites. You enjoy your Log Cabin syrup
the worse the termites are going to be how they even do that
probably must be at the expense of something at roommates must be terrible golfers or
job recruiting my comedy album tonight run of a human termite hybrid cardiovascular system
oh oh oh oh no brain pleasure was just being a collection of neurons that if you could crossbreed humans with any animal or insect from from across the animal kingdom
think about how useful an iguana is now think about applying that skill-set to the mental capacity of a human
you get humans that could lie on sticks
how are they even probably be able to eat mealworms I don’t know I really be left out changing color iguanas I thought about saying chameleons didn’t go there
look who’s raise blinds
fuck you people
I hook you in by saying I’m racist
how does it feel in the lowest Road compared to me we’re even iguanas and chameleons
lizards famous for their color
single shovel to me
racism list because I I’m the I’m the decoy I’m the guy that whatever the column like in those Kitty born
Protege protege
God damn it clear another kid I got all my pedophile terms down here tonight could have been at the BET Awards but I’m a pedophile
one more thing the Confederate flag by coming to say one thing about it and then we’re done we’re going to have some fun
yes scrutinize the flag get it down you know why it’s a fucking Flag Howlett races do you think the United States flag is all right that’s it that’s all I wanted to say if I can get bummed out lately are you kidding me like oh really then because it’s the logo for Dukes of Hazzard it’s like it makes such an easy target it’s like it’s like yeah they lost and they’re like they should not be flying over the Capitol building it’s fucking it’s been like tolerated in fucking sedition all flags are at the stupid way to fold anyway
which cold it weird to be called a weird stupid
single flag on this entire planet is it is it by its very nature the whole reason to have a flag is it to like folding a square or rectangle this is a symbol or waving at the hole so yeah have them they’re fine they’re great scrutinize some of them that one’s the losers like let’s take it down didn’t they lose a long time ago
kind of weird that we keep letting them do that if you put a flag of over and Southern cities Capitol building that said Jeff Davis rules show up at your door.
My my name is Jeff Davis Jefferson Davis the president of the Confederacy
everywhere every week somebody sends me a tree of them being in the south in a bumper sticker sticker on a lamp-post is a don’t blame me I voted for Jeff Davis across the Confederate Jack like there’s loads of good old racist Jeff Davis My Name Across the Confederate we thought you were going to tell the Teen Wolf start that record truck long-awaited guess somebody who should have been here a long time ago partly because basically what I mean not basically literally she’s the reason why the podcast exist because years ago at the Roost she was just she wasn’t very slick
assertive about it you just sort of clear about its it like you should have a pocket you should do a podcast and I was like oh yeah
Donnelly family events Gordon and so cuz I don’t think anybody would have sex with some of the advanced him quite that I’m quite happy about that but middle name status I’ll take it it’s fine even though you were a woman it must be in here somewhere I’m lucky I didn’t get one of those 14 people you know the 14 people that’s not good I’m kind of story my parents didn’t expect with third child so they made up the name and
is the creator of bears roll me under a porch relationship with you your role in my Cosmos I’m constantly retweeting you things that you just retweet it’s not like you’re out there like aggressively asserting yourself that you like like like Graham Linehan who had on the show great on Twitter but your your stuff the stuff that you retweet is like the emotional equivalent of that the most exemplary wanted was you you simply retweeted a Tumblr.
you tell me to say that sentence out loud. We all die in a little bit I’m sorry it was simply a list of ways to compliment people I do want to get this ride list of ways to compliment people without involving their physical appearance a brain like flipped over because it was like this is something I should have realized a long time ago it’s beyond gender politics but it certainly afflicts probably if I were to gas probably afflicts the female self-esteem old little more than half of the weather look like this
the title alone you were like yes but that’s an important thing so this defeat is a think about this is a piece that made my mind flop a hundred eighty degrees about some to some part of my brain just like reshuffled completely and there was no outrage there was no lynching there was no anger there was no shame in even if I was, do people like that’s a great Progressive is as comedy and comedy writer get is like like the things that we don’t like but this is a thing it was like hey
here’s a list of things you could say to somebody that you like that you that that have nothing to do with their physical appearance and there was no victimization there was no name a couple of them things that you can say I don’t remember a goddamn one and I don’t have to enjoy the way your voice sounds
I think it was like I like how your voice sounds I enjoy the work that you did on that thang like this very kind of random things but you’re spending time with you or anyone like vulnerable expression of like this is something you do that I like like that’s kind of a rarity you don’t really have a lot of people
you you make me feel like dancing, I’m going to dance tonight or what
I want to dance with somebody with somebody who loves me obviously I’m your private dancer dancer for money
these are our Dance Hall Days
I feel like
what are some of the stuff I see in Tumblr specifically if he spent any time at it’s just people full of hate and rage like college range which is a very specific and I was like when you get into when you’re telling this is fucked up when this happens and this would be happening instead then all people want to talk about is this is what’s fucked up and they’re like well that’s not fucked up you don’t understand you weren’t there you don’t know how to explain it to you little lady sound like I would rather just skip to the second part which is putting good stuff and being like well then just take this what is the what is the what is the guy’s name that we want we want to be happy supposedly right we want that supposedly when you’re like when your charging at a guy on Twitter and you’re like fucking like a Lansing hey Siri Siri Siri we all except I don’t know if it’s true is the behind all of that force is Revolution and butt end of name of the revolution is can’t we all just get along now
if you’re black you can’t we all just get along why under that flag are you slitting people’s throats like like when are we going to get to this revolution where we are at we we go like let’s start it’s more boring but let’s start setting the example it’s really hard to think of a positive way to incite subversive thought but another another I mean numerous times News podcast I think you retweeted it was the the blog entry that article that was admitted your fave is problematic was that the beacon of Light Within a generation that I am so like shaking my cane at all the time but it was like oh this is the this is the thing that I’m looking for is the idea that can we commit knowledge that humanity is so flawed
sit with that if we are going to clean up this porch that is going to involve touching dirt and if we all go ask Everytime We Touch dirt and pointed in Scream dirt dirt dirt dirty porch shrieking at each other
work
about anything because it’s 2 when you start if you eat
we were like well here’s why what you that is problematic and then it there’s no conversations that are going to move anyone anywhere because it’s all like a how fast can I shut you down how quickly can I shut you down and then shame you and then we don’t get to move in any direction from there, simply because of your woman
text me saying this is how to make it happen before it also makes me mad when people are like you’re one of the good ones like was a good feminine and I like good ones cuz you’ll see me become the bad one but yeah you seem to have a pretty saying approach to how you do stuff or something like I always say something about giving a blowjob or something and people would be like it’s so cool that you talked about that and your feminist I’d like to have all of the pork chops
can you have when you have a man’s genitals in your walking
you definitely do you doing
you do not want to go to jail for non-payment is another anecdotal saying which I think is beautiful is bridging this from societal stuff and digital stuff to couple stuff because your your original wheelhouse you actually you’re you’re an expatriate from the where you at couples therapy and family therapist therapist boobs
that anybody who stay but I was a therapist for a practice for almost about six and a half almost seven years and I really loved it but I chose to work with really tough populations and really tell populations will burn you the fuck out so I was like I try to take a job working with people who just like I feel stressed out and I was like fuck you you have no idea how good you have it I was like oh I got to get out of here this is my pulse now what do you what do you mean when you say tough population was with kids who have been removing their home in their next step was going to be to put in training school which is like bye bye until you’re eighteen and then my next job was with only suicidal people and extra I was with 270 people with schizophrenia who are living in a house or hotel
the bastard child of a thousand maniacs
he’s like a slushie
play a thousand crazy people rape one that makes Freddy Krueger with their combined
irresponsible over there like we don’t want to know which one it really was reported to be all of our kids together
like she’s got my eyes though I think it’s my finger really want because I because I think I could benefit because you what you just said earlier was that easier time and I think it’s not an incorrect assumption that that has something to do with with inside you that you you know how to handle things better. So therefore I’m curious since for all of us out there who are living on Twitter living in social media comment section getting into these Tangles that jack up our nervous system and all the time I mean what do you do when he’s very typical situations that maybe some of us aren’t doing okay that’s a good question I would say that if you catch me to yell at you for no reason and then apologized later
one is that what I don’t want to have to do is apologize is so when he was a little shity to me when I blow up later and then I’m like you’re right I’m sorry I I said something shity I don’t want to have to apologize to you fuck off that’s my first line of defense second line of defense is going what do I really want out of this like genuinely what is the ideal outcome of this situation for me and is there any chance and fucking hell that I’m going to get it not then I just choose not to engage like there’s no there’s no point to me like if what I want is I want you to stop being racist and sexist and understand how I feel about things
whatever Twitter and why would you want that for some dudes like it kind of weird Dead Man Walking relationship is that one guy on Twitter because I know I will change you
project dudes to date and so taking on Project dudes on Twitter I feel like it’s like a weird extension of that of like taking on like this and you would make you so what I’m hearing could stop by the way you look fantastic tonight
Emily is Kumail a project dude
I should have answered for you but it seems so obvious.
Let me think that he’s not here tonight or not function and so that was why he was terrifying but also why I fell in love with just a link because I do think that people listening could benefit from those kids would you say that then would one of them
differences between your type of interaction with trolls left column Blake do you primarily do you do a lot of just blocking ignoring I want and if what I want is to make this guy feel shame or bad that I’m like I need to find another way to make it there other ways to affect someone has emotions that don’t involve something you just want to make other people feel bad you feel bad you want to fucking spread it around but just be honest with your own intentions educated educated just be honest with that desire within yourself and I also think about him what does he want he wants to make you feel bad are you going to let him have that that’s a lot of power to give somebody a stranger who has an egg for a fucking face
yeah my I feel like I have like incidentally like like going to therapy and then as a direct result of therapy I adopted this new thing which is which I never would have done before I actually when I started Twitter I thought that blocking people was like some kind of admission of any one come at me if I can like I’m Steven Seagal what is coming out I’ll tell you what it means because I’m still part of me is like no I want you to understand how good I am
it means they block me and I’m good at it like zero sum game I prefer real first three years I would that was my game like I would people come at me and they’ve got a community socks everything all right let’s talk for a while 3 weeks later they’re blocking me and I’m not coming on
I mean wedding
we are helping Brian and I and II just fantasize about their suicide I don’t commit suicide talk to somebody. I learned then I just like applied that I never talk to my therapist about Twitter therapy feel like I’m assuming you think I look great but won’t tell me because you’re so advanced
hey do miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually know a mrs. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
I’ll tell you later off my you know what I really like the sound of your talking
I can’t hear anything about the way you look with it with all due respect I think the I think the sound of your voice one with the bad first exactly when someone else’s like what about me
and really that’s they just have an ugly throat the more important Battle Ground so let’s get to that later cuz you you’re writing a book about your view about to come out with a book about self esteem but no matter how I thought I said I started blocking people block block block do you know the result is like I meant for Better or For Worse when I get on Twitter now it’s like fucking so positive because because because either people are terrorized but I don’t fucking if you ask him
more freely I’m getting a tuner for my own experience of like I have a good time on Twitter. I’ve intelligent smart funny people I say like I want to watch this movie is like fucking that’s what winners for it because I just started like popping those fucking bubbles like it is lately I don’t get on here for constructive criticism about about season 3 if you like Joseph Stalin felt the same way like when he was tens of millions of people that do I heard that he he gave the orders to the Gestapo he would say
show me was doing when he was in no one knows about that
is it because Gustavo is like cuz they all got blocked
I dropped out of College Dropout of college working with this human biomass I were talking about the same tools and your former occupation as if it were talk about two people who join and in Partnership and your husband is here in my wife is here I think we should bring them both out of sick time
give me on Asiana everybody
hello everybody thank you for having me on your show
going to change it to my face appear when I said I was picked to run this theater when it first opened and I was really need it shows a really needed good things and we happen to be at the bar one night and I was like you should just come and talk on Facebook for like an hour that I think it would be amazing if you would have any more like bacon to
hahaha that really works at Northtown in and she said we should do a show so maybe we just got up there and we just talked and we talked about going to the moon and that was it that was remember you wanted to show something on the screen and our screen wasn’t working so when the show was supposed to be starting I went a couple store I think at the Glendale Galleria no not going to lie with whatever not interesting trying to find a part to the screen so that you can show this thing when I got back you were like if I can we just won’t show it.
the gallery is so close to being weird project guy you’re also protect lady we’re all projects on this Earth for
we’re on a rock hurtling through space
smell you are not mean
thank you you look fantastic tonight man thank you I like your voice
if only to show was an hour but that’s all we got to we got to married couples up here what I’ve learned in couples therapy and its solo therapy both the same therapist is Epiphany that I’ve gotten is so one of the world every experience that you have like like imagine yourself discovered and buttons you know you just get buttons pushed and you marry the person who pushes most of your buttons like you’re really pushing my buttons that’s never good okay well maybe I need a different matter.
patience from the cosmos for you to evolve beyond what you would have been cuz you could just live 2:30 and then just fucking fell over you no fuck your ass
but as human beings who live seventy years or 90 in women’s case
whoa great
the the it’s like the second half of an important life isn’t it maybe I’m biased because I’m married but it’s like it’s it’s it’s joining with the person it affect you way more than strangers on Twitter wish you more than good reviews or bad reviews of your television show way more than anything I’d say you’re making a wake up what’s going on let’s go let’s go on a roller coaster a year we’re making a green to wake up in the bed with everybody with somebody that’s like just freaking person is goddamn fucking like she’s a powerful this person is what did Greg proops say about his wife has he described her formidable
some are just put in some marriages are like that at all some marriages are just like we’re good friends we’ve decided to hang out for the rest of yours I think I like to say I know you challenge me I think I challenge you we sort of like yeah it’s been saying was what every relationship I felt like I had the power and same with you yes I will try steamrolled every guy that I was with forever and you would not allow that you have all that too would like a blowjob
it’s God damn it I was going to say Steamrollers euphemism for a job
but
right now I think that on our relationship nobody
men can be feminists too
did you get a holler or swallow
do you guys do you guys think now that we’re moving forward into a world where marriage is whose marriage didn’t have sex because the picture would imply that we’re about to initiate at what time
wait what
because Dan and I are on either side of your door
don’t judge me
the question to the panel is do you think that famously we can talk about this divorce rate is like it’s gotten so high that basically most arid that we that we basically have become a like two or three marriage culture which is just like it is a capitalism has absorbed that in my perception it’s like which is why I’m proud to have waited really long time to get married because even if only because I’ll die soon I promise I’m not I’m going to have one wife and fucking die I don’t want to play into this time but
these hologram kids these these Oculus Rift Minecraft AR my dick can be your vagina that is a supreme court doesn’t care let’s fucking do it
divorce rate will lower do you think the marriage will now that it has been liberated
the people you were talking about I guess I maybe knew that and I totally forgot and put my foot in it
alright where everyone can hear this
I’m here okay
he’s a very nice guy.
I did not push any of a lot of my buttons and didn’t challenge me and I kind of just ran the show and so we got a very amicable divorce but I feel like I feel like what I expected from him I expected him to be everything to me I expected him to be like my best friend like food with a guy like he couldn’t talk to you.
all right all right that’s not fair for women to expect
did you see that marriage is a business Arrangement set up by parents to like make more people to work at the family business or like keep money in the whatever became of thing of like no your spouse have to be literally everything to you they need to be like you have to be ultimately fulfilled in this one human being and it’s not that you’re not fantastic but when I got divorced
I think it’s great that you have evolved Beyond expecting someone to be a fuck guy you found Camille
Five Guys
world is full of sockeye if I have very few projects
what Wylie Coyote was when I realized it after I got divorced that like I need to have good friends and a good like career that satisfies me and hobbies already like I need to already be a whole person and not expect a dude to be like the thing that makes me whatever and once I kind of got that in my head I found a guy to compliment me
no it’s kind of a platter that they would choose this place to come and roll
what a kind of Bootsy Collins at the history of marriage because if you look at your biology textbook Empire State Building diagram where it was like this in the history of the planet that at the very top is like a dime on top of the Empire State Building on humans been around at all in the history of the concept of monogamy like with the history that we understand is cuz you said arranged marriage and the idea of our tradition of marriage is that it’s romantic it comes from like the idea of like actually stealing off into the woods that we’d get married at their actually imitations of actually like like terrorists wedding fryer that like the end of the Kevin Costner
do kids have a tutorial of what a healthy marriage consists of the answer is movies in which at the end of the movie
I know you’re just the only your happy forever because that was the goal the whole time and all these women and men but mainly women are like what the fuck I’m supposed to be happy forever why am I not happy you if you are with a guy that you’ve been with for a year or a girl even with for a year and there’s somebody across the room that’s like other so much more interesting I wonder why they didn’t location that you walk away from with from 30 years of rom-coms is actually like well you know why that guy is more interesting because he’s going to make you happy forever
Shakespeare the difference between a comedy and a tragedy if there’s a wedding at the end versus the funeral papers you have to keep on competing with cases at your Law Firm you have to be to get the Axe Body Spray account without the title role play happily ever after from all the fairy tales is like where it is there is of course because marriage is not an adventure
signing up to be an incredibly satisfying
there’s also got a ton of stories about raising children like we are raising children and being married as maybe we shouldn’t it would be weird if like we used to in Finding Nemo man rock is his feet were too big and
it’s not as I’ve been published for a little bit right it’s coming out end of September
will preorder it it’s about Hitler
Hitler
and how amazing your cookie was
I’ve cultivated a very odd group of sociopaths
super yes and I have an expert low who was here in the yard and it’s amazing and I just a funny self-esteem guide for young women to like women my age is essentially in like a self-improvement guys that are like a Jason but I didn’t see any of that words I didn’t see any that many that were marketed towards like rookie rookie like teen like Teenage late early twenties lightning self-esteem and young women at while I turn my mic down because I don’t want to mansplain and I don’t want to but I think this is so important to me clearly the one to Shepherd this flock well that’s a that’s a tall order, compassion and the combination of your compassion and your vulnerability and your wisdom makes me
I’m sure tons of women in this audience feel so good about themselves and everybody say
I was leaving like a like a pretty disheartening meeting and I saw that you were on a podcast where you talk about your fears as like Emily talked about what she’s afraid of because I feel so terrible and my podcast wasn’t downloading fast enough and I was sitting in my car just crying but then I was like Lil you’re fine but you’re crying
I didn’t sound so I’m so excited about.
You have 20 seconds I just I hated myself a great deal when I was younger I had a lot of stuff loading a lot of self-hatred self-hatred a booth for real real reasons and for reasons that I created and then would not stop thinking about and I I tried to think of what would have helped me when I was a teenager in super angry and super goth and not able not this is where I was. You have no idea you have no idea Throwback Thursday
start the game is tonight
sorry I’m sorry go ahead
like it kind of goes through like just kind of getting you on your own team and understanding that you have to be on your own fucking team because nobody else is going to be and they can be but how do you get a game you are a teacher over there and just like kind of raising your awareness of what you’re doing so that for so long I just kind of function on autopilot and this auto pilot was like hate myself I’m horrible I hate myself and horrible and just at some point stopping and being like doing this to myself and my lights just going by like either way if I sound like I’m hating myself or if I spend my time learning to like myself in any capacity is happening either way there’s nothing I can do about it
do you cut down your soft or not
coronavirus in there so tend your own garden manager of buttons you are in charge of your own experience if no matter how racist besides it is hurtful addictive unhealthy unbalanced in need of fixing your opponent is no matter what is happening to you it’s fine to have reactions to it but you are in charge and if you decide not to make decisions too has a fucking decision so like just start like stop being on autopilot start having intentionality behind what you’re doing like even if that means that you doesn’t mean that you have to make like healthy choices at all but like the button sing know what the fucking guns are know what your buttons are and know what presses them and what doesn’t and then if you want to pick someone who pushes all the bad ones you’re picking them but acknowledged that you were choosing them because you want those buttons pushed for some reason instead of like the worlds just like happening to me but you were making it happen even if by making it happen your kind of
giving up all control in deciding the universe is just out to get me and always always always always going to fuck up in that regard thousand times you’re going to fuck that up in a thousand times you can you can bring it back but it’s to the extent that you are honest about yourself your experience around or feeling including like walking away from somebody that’s making you uncomfortable not engaging somebody when the only thing at stake is you being right as opposed to being happy that actually very very short experience that’s bothering to go to therapy and start learning the Shadows like I feel the world around me changing walking delusional bubble around me but if everyone created that seemed to have no room left for Viking the nomads
absolutely.
Comfort and safety yeah I think it’s important because it seems like we’re in a culture where confidence and women is seen as arrogance a lot I think in guys are sort of arrogance and guys’s sort of valued where is in what women it’s not like Amy Schumer sketch where she’s like every what they’re like a scientist and they’re all like apologizing all the time until halfway through I don’t give a goddamn ladies
if I could
replace one of the wrong button
I think that’s why it’s important the idea is that it yourself right now is and then figuring out how to get there it’s a superhero
we’re here at the game but it kind of in a in a it’s a very loose kind of Fame but yeah that is kind of the theme of it or should we totally look out healthy we’ve become we’re 2 minutes past 9:11
I didn’t it’s almost like if there was a if you could try to boil everything out of this over I can take it has something to do with
seeing past like what’s right in front of you to like a more distant goal and actually making distant goals the actual what how you use your fork and how you interact with your uncle and how you treated and how you if you if you don’t view who like five feet in front of you is how you should react 5 in front of you if you’re if you would said go what I want is 15 ft in front of me I’m going to base everything five feet in front of me on what I want to see if you want and if it is okay if it’s not I got to change it rather than just like just doing this to us doing that so hopefully I’ll get to that thing hopefully I’ll get to that thing at the thing that you need and you want and then a couple with your word and you all mocks me
The Four Agreements
you can turn off for real fast
don’t take it personally
baby come on
TED talk about it for a minute
be impeccable with your word
I know the shity what is do your best that’s a dumb one
whatever the fuck up
it’s not one of your dreams thank you sir thank you don’t make us go where is Mary working on from this book in high school because The Four Agreements is a self-help book and play and we landed on it by talking we were talking about like fan interaction actually we were talking about like how like how it always goes great and usually in like how sometimes it goes wrong and how it goes wrong we are ourselves as fans of other people if you get in an elevator somebody you admire like we’re talking about like what happened to those moments those supercharged moments of talking to a stranger and yeah I know that you want to make an impression of Bubble at all this stuff from that discussion we landed Aaron brought up like
the shadow God Jesus Christ that everything so it’s this it’s it’s a it’s a fun little book from a while ago it takes two hours to listen to the night I tried to introduce these fucking asshole so
Paget Brewster made a mockery of it
just because I’ve only listened to a half-hour of it apparently I’m not an authority
what’s another one of The Four Agreements says we’re all like
more like 30 minutes of our all light and your smoke and it’s all a dream we all know it’s not the same as Plato’s fucking Shadows a light is good
that’s one of the Four Agreements okay that makes sense makes sense I would be pretty certain that if that author had an agreement it would be you should read the whole fucking book
that’s the stuff I don’t do all the first half hour
what is a dragon show I don’t care is young sex yes and I do talk about that specifically that you all are view everything through the light of your experiences I try to like you back everything out so I’m improving I’m in agreement with you in a sentence it sounds like sounds like she’s in agreement then people that agree with your theories on this if your life was a reality show like a very boring for most of you reality show stars are great reality shows
ultimately very boring as reality show reality show and we’re divorced from your talking head segments of like he should know that I don’t like you just view the situation objectively like that’s you kind of you got to learn to divorce that some of the shit is you wash it and you can’t bring anything because the other person you’re talking to doesn’t have any fucking clue what you’re talking text because the only thing you can do is control yourself. Somebody has crossed it’s a very beautiful thing that hopefully will be an item you can only control yourself you have no control over anybody else whatsoever do you have to look at your in a confrontation with somewhere in a conversation just realized it take yourself out of it and watch it if it was on television because if it was you would never have you would just be two characters that are acting and all you can judge is those interaction everybody comes of their own baggage their own shit that you were just hanging out
well she created an illustration of a cross stitch cuz I was like what would be cool if you had like a cross stitch like old old timey pillow or like a thing of you can only control yourself so she made this gorgeous thing that looks just like a cross stitch that’s a pain in the butt that I’m hoping we can make another thing out of it but yeah sometimes I’ll get into these Twitter things and then you write nobody’s going to change nobody’s change their mind about anything like a fucking 90s we all can I tell you if I drop it at roll strategy I’ll tell you what it is I’m not proud of it actually I love it
I have a new strategy cuz a lot of times you be talking to people and they just wanted the meaning anymore by defeating the purpose of anything from your character to get one word so I have somebody ever like calls me Indian I’m like that’s racist on Pakistani I do research is hard so I’ll do that I was like hey my people are looking to trade Bobby Jindal in exchange will take literally anyting I said that he’s an Indian Indian descent research I’m like actually some of the same country until 1947 so
I know research is hard but
Camille nanjiani trap you knew people were going to say that so that you could come if you call the Pakistani I can be like actually we’re all kind of Indian and if somebody comes back and goes like your joke I’m not listening to that guy with that guy
the crime has been committed and what goes on in that alley your business
out there that’s a great point that one little is That’s a classic example but you must be good connection
what’s the weather going to be in a conversation with The Statler and Waldorf guys are like why does Kermit start engaging salary while there if the reason is because for some part of what they’re saying Kermit’s like what the Muppet Show is full of shit and it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not right but can we all acknowledge that that that that’s what brings us out there into that alley
if I engage with the Twitter troll I’m in a bad mood I got something that has irritated me that day and I don’t want to take it out on that person or that’s your I can’t so I’m like here’s a person that will take my shitt I don’t like give them my shit and I fucking forgot the same thing as shity mood of my own opinions than when I haven’t gotten enough sleep like a real bear
isn’t it part of you when you to continue using that metaphor when you go out and do that back alley and shoes to have that person to person stiletto knife fight which I just recently did the dude today where I was I supposed to tell you
I retweeted a very funny joke by some stranger who said I would like to see a reality show where Vine stars are executed
I clicked a fucking button redo it because I click that button and then in my feed the river has been a positive experience for me. This guy is this guy just because like that’s that’s a funny thing coming from a guy who let Community it was a part of unrelated flower and a pretty flower drawings
following some I’m following someone let him know that you disagree I want to know that the guy who says that is definitely a bad person
Morgan Freeman like whether or not it was good or bad reaction to you he wanted a knife fight is a suspicion I think Malcolm X I really really am going into out of my jurisdiction but I think there’s a quote from across the room
so curious what the next thing you have to say is I apologize to that person’s black apologize with a bike hanging out
the what I think they could have been Malcolm X it could have been
going to paraphrase in fuk it up behind all of The Strife is the racial like tension all of his big is the is the suspicion we have to let go of that any of them were talking about his true it’s the both side as I get White Lake white racists thinking that something they’re saying as any founding and also on the victim side like the idea that they you can victimize sore to the point where they actually believe I don’t
you have a certificate suspicion that this person on Twitter might be right that you did like Community go to shit is that what you’re saying that’s what he’s saying I don’t know I don’t know if it’s not like if I say there is no doubt in my mind that got that guy is harmful and I’m not fighting no way side that’s your you grew that you that’s not you respond talking about somebody coming up to your fruit
you’ve you’ve been with a guy you set the opposite of the other thing you’re like in there when the guy called you out your you were reacting to withdrew out to the alley the way that someone agrees to try weird shit in Fifty Shades of Grey is some White Rabbit that says to you I got parts of me that I haven’t fucking like late like the guys calling you out and going like if you’re undergoing fucking call me out lately and you’re going out to that Al
not because you’ve got all your shit sealed up you’re going out of that alley because you’re like oh wait right it’s like
I don’t know about that specific example but I know what you’re saying and I agree with you when somebody says like hey you’re if somebody says like a comedian I probably fight back as part of me is afraid that I’m not going to that thing I think that’s I think that is part of it
are the most important part of that making no assumptions and taking nothing personally is is visualizing that that other person has their out like that guy who was on the stage with ever tweeted anybody
I just thought of something horrible that I that I was telling you about that happens to me when I’m playing with strangers online but I’m not going to say reaching out to create event saying like oh that’s great but everything you do is terrible like that’s why I kind of ice horrible it’s very very bad okay don’t judge me on this is me at my work and I will play Mortal Kombat and it’s just cuz it’s really want to win some people I’m not as good as a lot of people are still fill they’ll beat me and then I can tell that they’re fucking shity I could tell when I’m playing someone
stop by their skill moves in
damn Fireball Friday night pic
and and also Spencer when did beat me cuz they’re fucking de Fireballs they like, and they like tea bags right now I’m like you’re a bad person and I want to turn my mic on and be like I want to show this is all you have
no shame not Shane and I feel horrible everyone playing a fucking Mortal Kombat the beach it they should always do that I have talked to her Academy Award winning not nominated winning actors come to me we talked about like online video games fucking people who have Oscars multiple Oscars and these are like they’re like men
yeah probably a faget and I said did you tell him he loves you
cuz I don’t
everything cheat that fucking piece of shit I don’t do tricks you should never ask anybody out there
never has a quad I have no I’ve never done. I feel it every now and then not all the time. You’re in the microphone and say we are going to to make they want to show
CBS show one of you this is all you have. Cuz you want them to feel bad you would have shamed them yeah I think you’re not like spreading like let me explain to you emotion doing now I want to make you feel bad I feel like we’re in the same room and I have another human being and you just like spew this really shity thing at me and I want you to like look in my my bloodshot crying eyes which is why I send those
I’m sure I’ve done that a lot of it I think that’s I think that on the scale of things that are effective in affected a good way to live your life and then it’s definitely way closer radio station manager don’t you kind of like are you kind of like what I would do it really hurts my feelings but yeah that’s a knowledge that your hybrid are in a better place. I do it now you’re right I am a dirty piece of shit I am a feminist DJ giver and that hurts me and you’re saying that because I was just this is going to continue to be depressing I’m going to start saying that I am Kemal
how to run your command just tell everyone you’re going to threaten in Portuguese to bathe to bathe in my blood because they think I’m a guy that created seconds
wait is that the sexiest thing ever for fucking good reason because why is it Portuguese people and Turkish people are constantly
decapitation and bloodbath and erasers.
Redneck
people my people can expand in her tracks on my name
beautiful. But if you can’t
I’m sorry he’s got a lot of practice in Portuguese people love the show not the other Jeff Davis keeps killing off character they love are the people that they ship they want and if not I will come to your house I’m a visitor at you I just pisses on Google translate and find out what I’m fucking being threatened with and when I hit my contacts and put it in the Trans Am with you there’s a lot of people that are watching Teen Wolf and being like right now
that was talking about Silicon Valley and then brought up Camille and someone said well they are
or are they
only time will tell
it was in the context of been talking about like feminism on the show but they really love the show and they think you’re great and then someone’s like an alien fired for some reason that out of anger but I was like maybe I’ll make a fake account and maybe I’ll say oh my God yeah hahahahaha my face just like a flat landscape ocean that we haven’t named yet which is like it’s like when you have knowledge of the other person doesn’t and you know you’re right and they don’t know you’re right and you’re getting ready to drop the fucking counter that is such a good feeling and I don’t there’s no room for it and it damn sure the Germans have one but I don’t know
but I love that is subjective cuz you know what did you hear did you hear the This American Life that came out a couple weeks ago when people who are faced with an alternative view about the friends like if I say I know the World is Flat and someone comes in and says here’s here’s a satellite picture of the earth they’re more likely to double down that they’re done being bias it’s called confirmation to believe what is the mission is, that once you have an idea and you’re like this is correct you only seek out information that like reinforces the belief you have and if you get any information that doesn’t reinforce it you’re like well that’s completely wrong and it hurts. Because I mean for real
God particle that we’ve been looking for it because that lets us all off the hook don’t you fucking start I just met hours writing the show it’ll come back around it is instinctive to primates to do that which I would apply because prime it should not automatically just I think I’ll do this oh you said that if that is a thing that we have to overcome then we all get to just say okay that’s a thing to happen to me cuz I’m fucking day it would an essay about has a misogyny of Pirates of the Caribbean to beyond the pearl of the it doesn’t help that the person is not funny is never funny anyone is going to write that article is like a fucking
overriding that is like my sense of like you know I always always feel that triggered that hinge that safety valve that goes like oh now this is going to be that what does it take for you to play shaft that would be great I would be so great
mind about something generally for you it takes it takes acquiescence it takes predicts positive that’s why I was so adamant about like what can we figure out about like the way you approach things because I have never been the years that I have known you I’m positive that if I was ever going to exhibit characteristics or thoughts or ideals or semantic Fluor jobs that would possibly trigger you I definitely probably through them toward you at some point I’m sure they floated down and you never made it my problem and you’ve never you never never capitulated you never were not we don’t we don’t we don’t drink together every night we’re not like blood brothers and pinky swear Brothers in and let’s let’s agree to to alter each other’s reality Brothers
you’re a virtual stranger to me with his that that just is impeccable with their word
leave it then fine and and and invite people up word up word slightly you and you stay here is a list of ways that you can tell people that they’re good person without telling them how they look at you there’s nothing in that communicate that suggest to you that you’re a defective unit we like it we like everything that communicate that suggest to you that you have a bility to prepare yourself and and evolved up for it so you always feel like you’re winning in video games we can play video games if every
you fucked up what happens in video games 2020 very good analogy lately that’s actually really great analogy better there’s no one ever says you’re cute
I’m going to rape you that’s cuz I’m playing police station your fucking Batman what are you doing really good at and what you said earlier is
we have some bad news Emily Emily that is keeping your eye on
you are one of the trailer for wonder what do you think of is I love my dad surprised I’m getting what you want to get out of it or I can for instance like if I’m supposed to fly in a flight like and this really happened and am late they checked Emily and then I go to to the next flight and I’m like what is I’ll get like self-righteous I’ll get like this is wrong immoral this is not good and Emily’s like Emily will befriend them and talk to them nice. I get that like this was a couple weeks ago and they were supposed to have some surgery and they called and they were like oh we can’t do it anymore and I taking the week off she taking the week off to do it and I was like give me their number I will talk to them and she’s like that’s the worst idea
I don’t care if you’re stressed out and gray wire cutters Emily did was yeah you don’t want to spit in your food and you don’t want to talk to her angry at you want it before my surgery went okay hung up the phone was like angry and started out with it and then called back befriended the person on the phone and got to know that what you doing it it’s calling it a technique is really overstated away from yelling and screaming and raging it why I don’t do that all the time but I don’t do anything I feel like I have this thing where I want everyone to do their job right and if they don’t do it right
because you smell like if you don’t do something about something people are going to fuck you over I have that thing since the kit cuz I was telling me I’m not going to take it anymore but we just know that world anymore nobody ever examples of archetypes of primarily fictional it’s important to note like you’re once you’re chill you’re going to get your there’s going to be all kinds of people getting away with all kinds of shit but letting them get away with it and walking around them walking away from them you’re going to end up getting farther faster and how do you have those likes
where you at we have is like gauges of your head is a little like bars of your head that tell you like this how hungry you are that’s how whatever like that’s how much power you have and for me to like let someone else make me that angry over something that they’re genuinely can’t do anything about that’s me giving them my power to give him a fucking power that you don’t mind you don’t get to have that you’ve worked hard to be at ease if you want to give that to this person on Twitter doesn’t deserve it this like this poor lady who was just giving me bad news at the doctor’s office didn’t deserve it and also but I always think of it like you have a certain amount of cake that you have to give the people you have cake you have delicious wonderful cake you can give it out but if you’re not interacting with people that give you eggs and milk and flour and vanilla you don’t get to make any more analogies
I like that a lot
not a fucking cake you know you can just hang out and you don’t do that that’s great. Actually I’m afraid now I had a lot of people at the we should also like
Christian it with that sounds perfect just you know that 38 people who wanted to be part of the favorite in the right number of people to just play Shadowrun do we have to fucking leave yet, but I think we we we have we got the mortgage back there and bring the Morris Brown out right now
Good Morning America weekend cookies together you sit in the middle
who’s going to suck the mortgage with my sister are there
I have a I have a revolutionary idea assuming that way that I would have somebody else play Jim night blade and I could play like NPC characters no one but how long is it how long is it been since you play doctor friend only once in a thousand years ago
did you know that. Curtis I’m so glad your character with great aplomb and alacrity
he’s okay
I hope he doesn’t it
you know what all right so who’s who’s familiar with my character like like oh I will I want to like play NPCs and have somebody somebody played Jim that yeah you play what is people hanging digital use mean it means I’m taking the episode off that sounds great, you can play mercy and I can play Jim could just make comments on things is Big Joe
stop playing character isn’t gives up his character Bruce Willis and then go with your gut and
yeah Emily Emily you’re a badass Sierra
cuz your Manor
it’s muted
all hell’s broken loose here at Meltdown Comics he doesn’t need to be on camera that some Farmers relocating over by Spencer
what about this weekend
thank you mr. Spencer do we have a guest sound effects with a guest name is Eben burgoon is a good natural gas from Shadowrun
he’s a Shadowrun reference
last time on the harmontown tiptoeing past piles of dead bodies with route Baldwin Brown
research and hand the pot the exit is the hospital by their controversial new friend from the safety of doctor friends for steel or Force 5 shimmering for my blade took the time to taunt the remaining guards with rude gestures before joining the party in their escape there among piles of broken and suspiciously use rumbas rehydrated pizza crust in emplyee empty aluminium Sputnik 1 Camp the party listen to brown and yellow Minturn Co proposal however the reward of owing the Party 3 in exchange for the Betrayal of their employers created a rift wear to Garden Nightblade heatedly argued with mercy and Doctor friend over remuneration reputation and the code of ethics of shadowrunners that’s the argument reached fever-pitch Nightblade seize the chance to surprise and turn the tables on yellow meant only to be sent to the ground by his topknot to basic YouTube Robo Jude
call Moose who’s on the side of cause and who’s on the side of cash or were cooler heads prevail
let’s find out now on Shadowrun harmontown time
Evan government-to-government I have one question okay it was a hyphenated is very clear which kind of syllables were meant to be so I think someone who knows what’s going on I think so in for it just yesterday and it come on
I’m I’m doing Emily you’re you’re you’re playing a visit you wrote a book about self esteem for women uniquely qualified or a character that just failed to stun baton a guy that now has compromised you you’re a bounty hunter and you talk like Bruce Willis done button. I only tried to and you didn’t succeed you’re all in a knife blades apartment menacingly throws his outfit assault rifle and pointed in his Direction all right
alright using using my Charisma exceptional Charisma Jesse sorry just going through some stuff and we can we talk I don’t know why don’t you all put your weapons down maybe we can talk with weapons not out turn down first what’s my situation right now
compliment my look
you may sorry take that out he’s not a fuck guy he’s reading it right off the Sheep though that’s what
what’s her name so basically what happened is like 2 seconds before we started you’re like huh and then failed utterly and then he grabbed the ghost of baton so let’s everyone let’s put our weapons down my account
I’m sorry.
Alright to take a moment to say this this world is crazy
it’s like in any other situation we be best friends and here we are fighting so
but wasn’t it wasn’t your whole point about not agreeing with Jesse element that we have to obey our own code of ethics we should follow through in the original plan right everybody’s got a code
I’m going to fire my grandpa gonna try to escape it I’m trying to escape okay I tried to I tried to find my grandpa gun to get to escape to escape
I’m trying to escape firing the grapple gun out the window
it hits a nearby Rooftop in holds fast before you blowing out of your own apartment and leave us holding the bag here
4 seconds ago you tried you tried a karate chop this guy and now you’re not you’re just you just take it leave we’re not giving you orders. He asked to put on my gun so I’m out to this is your house
alright okay give me give me a reason to stay leaving makes no sense
Frederick Frederick closest Liberty Inn 222 Jesse 3 to 5 ft want to hear
correct
I fire my ex shocker I just got them in as I’m sticking with Jim night was original plan if not going to Skype basically all decided as the bad guy put his weapon. We all die one night what’s your pistol skill my pistols
set alarm 6 OK Google. Like reflexes he Dodges to the size shocker shocker Bulls plug into the walls okay here we go
just trying to have a good time
that was funny dude that was funny
with your innate reflexes and combat senses you feel some shifts going to go down there the only person with the reflexes fast enough to react before he uses his crazy reflexes to do fast things
yep well you did that’s why you went earlier again the office will Trico which is loaded onto his truck around and shoot him with shock rounds will shoot them in his Direction
all right that one you get them
okay what is the Norwegians would say you hit him Square in the chest and you see electricity Ripple through his body
you hit him strongly in his chest and he’s knocked back a couple feet just by the impact of the blow and has the electricity flows through them he crumples to the floor as if in Cardiac Arrest with the gravel from the roof next door I’m back house today
how to get the perfect perfect found any reason to keep him around doctor friend killing him is that what you mean is both of his stuff do we have we have the recent yeah he was working for someone who is trying to dissuade you from your mission how about this one girl I prefer the non-lethal if I can because we’ve chosen not to betray our original employer let’s take this guy bound and gagged take him back to our original
show show space how badass we are and show them that this guy that wanted to do under duress I like the only one I really hated us and it’s so we he wanted to talk she was trying to give us his whole play that it would be more moral to Tuesday so that shocked him and now we’re going to tie him up
if there’s a movie I know who the bad guys are
Camille you haven’t been here for a long time
you guys into it do we have some sort of shocking thing
as long as everything that we’re doing requires a lot of sound effects and
when we catch him
I called out for all my ponytail
and Waldo why the lawn mower is rolling and going I start a chainsaw 2
and then I start fighting like crazy
hey well that was all right
Delores Brown Erin mcgathy
Morgan Freeman’s a piece of shit I mean Love by Emily Vance Garden
how to check David Ramirez that you’re Dan Harmon everybody thank you so much for coming
Comic Con Comic Con we’re at Comic-Con Sunday night do I have a guy coming to San Diego next time it’s going to be down there in roofs in the Gaslamp District
Comedy Central June 30th 12:30 a.m. which is a really fun for Tuesday is Tuesday night 12:30 a.m. starting June 30th also feel free to play my Emily Gordon up and Emily B Gordon on Twitter and Mortal Kombat with Kumail he’s going to take some horrible shit to
dryfast Nick hasn’t everybody