Episode
Description
Our friends Bobcat Goldthwait and Curtis Armstrong return to the show with plenty of insane stories to share. Watch the live at harmontown.com/live and become a member!
Transcript
no new music if you got any music for us please go to Farrell audio and give us new music please
how’s things everybody
simply out of laziness we’re going to start with this one
Hollywood California the Nexus of entertainment a penis
wow
can I see pending 72,000 people
bring up the game Master Spencer Crittenden
I Just For Old Times Sake let’s bring out the mayor of Hermantown mr. Jen Carmen
thank you
there is a it’s a bigger it’s a bigger crowd we’re always sold out but it’s
but this is extra sold out I think maybe people are just more vigorous more exciting let’s not kid ourselves Jeff packed to the Rafters tonight is not because of you or me or Spencer it’s because last week we put it out there with no ice scooper
and I wanted to be here for the front for that for the big unveiling take it off and scoop me some motherfuking ice out of
Spencer talk to Jeff Wyler make Jeff address alright hey how’s it been going Jeff good I’ve been traveling I’ve been back in Jeff I just got back in a couple days ago but it was a
play Love a couple of days
that was a parody of when they do that right it’s it’s like the movie Cocktail your time cruising it right now it was it was a parody thank you mr. Harmon
okay so Spencer
what did you think about it so I have to get a car right it’s better than driving around I love it you love it kind of I love it no I love it but like when you drove it so when we register the anxiety level at UTA when we went there last week and it was like this happens and I walk into a place together cuz he drives me and then when I go and then I’ll have like a meeting and I like that something is not a natural thing to have a chauffeur like it’s not a it’s not a I think it’s it’s pretty it’s the way it’s not I did not know it’s not it’s not the way of the waiting rooms where we go into so that so the so the person at the desk is always like like hello and
Spencer like it like it because he’s like a squire he’s like an erstwhile Squire like he drove me open the doors you he knew exactly where to go I was just babbling about not wanting to tie my shoes the whole time and then like the printer gets to the desk and the end of the person goes like I help you in Spencer goes Dan Harmon to see who has made yeah I do that anywhere we go though
she’s like okay do you guys want to go water or Diet Coke or anything I will take Waters and we go sit down and then she’s like Dan and Spencer are here to it for the 3 meeting and it would be weird if at any point so like weird and really long to explain really try to say oh don’t worry about me when they ask what that my deal is worried I’ll just be over here 6 ft tall 4 ft long beard I’ll just be hiding over here at the most interesting looking guy in the universe
about me like needs more contact those people they’re all about Hospitality so they just want to make sure we are adequately respected which is it comes to odds because I don’t need that in those situations that’s the last thing I need is validation from you know secretarial staff station Spencer that you do like want or crave is it is there something you would like to hear from staff or anyting from strangers just don’t walk slowly I think
that be good enough what do you like to hear from people secretly even if it’s a little selfish and juvenile and not mentally healthy to want it like what it was something that really puts up with the wind in your secret thing you wish stranger said there are thought about you as you walked into a building I like things that are useful or being useful to people so that my manifest is all be all like hey man did you know if you’re gagging you can put your thumb through your hand like that BuzzFeed article said not gagged and then that people be like that helps me and then I’ll be like that’s good but yeah I want to I want to I want to I want to be useful I want to increase the the satisfaction of people’s lives
give you life saving tips are you wish know you wish people would say oh you’re usually stayed appreciate ya the the the utility that I offer that’s got well in a good position cuz you and you have a lot of utility thank you you’re a healthy example of somebody who knows what they knows their needs and gets their needs met that’s what my therapist into an office building and like in a in a busy Office corporate setting what would you wish that the other Gatekeepers like a security person to walk past what do you wish they thought about you on site
it is he know I am being for real I mean we’re living in a fantasy world where is century city plaza like to go on a business meeting you get into an elevator everybody in the elevator Mendes women there well-dressed you don’t know what they do for a living they could be high low status comparative Lee what do you wish in your fantasy selfish egotistical brain what do you wish everybody in that elevator was thinking I had to make tea. But then you ask the wrong question I just
impressive secret button on the elevator elevator would open and it would be like there would be like fog and lights and I would just be like in my hoodie you like Mark Zuckerberg and add cups to the other people.
I just got Certifit
so I guess the answer your questions I wish everyone of the elevator side what is he doing what do you wish that person was when that happens when you went out the side door wait sorry I didn’t miss the top of it so you you get Secret side elevator door status and you have your hoodie on and you leave the person that you hated the most on site when you went in the elevator what do you wish he or she were thinking as that happens like like like to make you the most happy I was wrong about football
or or all the crunches in the world couldn’t lift my spirit right now
all right you going to ask I had pizza for breakfast for 6 weeks and he gets to go see what happens like let’s fantasize what happens at the side of the elevator to the get you to the floor that you’re going to do faster or just people go into a building to go up and down that’s like
this is a rat race
Psych the real people go this way
me and DL Hughley
purple door at the airport
well I think that’s I mean you know we got we have special friends here tonight that’s probably why it’s really packed I just wanted to tell you guys that I have a lot of paralysis when I when I talk to people in person but I can get into that later
I don’t really know how to talk to people and that’s that’s that’s the Leaps and Bounds what you have done very good interviews know what you are talking about this is a lineup. I’m talking about like actual like riding in the Uber when the Uber driver goes
whose shoulder you can go down
and then I just go
I don’t want to talk I want to talk to you and it’s not even about the conflict as it hurts to talk to people it ain’t me a showering is like hurts my skin like when we were in New York and I I like like like when I was I was walking outside that restaurant on the waitress at the waitress runs into me out there and she has the restaurant and there they are and all and like I like your royalty and I’m like that’s the problem right there that you’ve been saying that in that whole thing being there like I there’s tears and I don’t want nothing to do with this like I do
if I was a drag queen and she said Spike do you know Dan Harmon
okay that’s a nightmare like to know
nice to meet you I’m going to go and I’m happy about this we Wikipedia that later and my guess would have been wrong
because they look very different but I thought I thought you know what these guys are masters of of the lateral I bet the guy you think is Spike Jonze how is it looks like Wes Anderson and I was right except I was wrong
so I would have made an ass of myself. How do I cover food did you sit with him or just walked by it like like like me meeting the queen of England what wasn’t like I didn’t leave only Footprints I just I just said I just said Hello nice to meet you I made eye contact breathe regularly and I just I just shook their hands and I made eye contact I didn’t I didn’t go in for the double top weird like sexy handshake I just I just shook their hands as anti nice to meet you hi nice to meet you is very very very exciting and weird to meet you guys and I will and I walked away and I feel like I won do you think that they knew who you were the question I wonder if you are on their way through work you know having a studio and stuff like there was if I had known which one was Spike for sure by looking at him I could have there was like an inroad there I could have said he’ll we have mutual friends boogedy boogedy boo boo
but I just found out and I think I’m a better person for it but
what about the politics it wasn’t about it wasn’t about it was about starfucking versus like nervousness or anything like that I’m talking about like that could happen with anybody I don’t like talking to anybody like like like I like I’ve just gotten able to like do the thing like like you know when people with somebody says like like this world store on like I created this dumb like weird world for myself where I could be comfortable and it’s like every little every little aspect of it is engineered including the fact that like the only physical social interactions that I can handle our people like like like on a sidewalk going like getting excited when they see me and pointing at me so that I know I’ve done where are there is no we don’t have to worry about it and he said if you meet somebody like a restaurant or anywhere over driver that doesn’t know who you are that’s that’s never fun for you
I’ve been around you when I when you stumble onto common ground with a stranger and you can go and you get really excited about that but that’s always when I’m being introduced to them through a friend or something like that like when you’re hanging out you know having drinks and some of those are all of this is Molly and doesn’t she’s a friend of stomatitis look like what are you doing I’m going to ask her know Jesus Christ
I mean those with that. Yeah that’s that’s good that’s fine you have to talk to people like you have to talk to people who are scooping ice cream if you like ice cream or ice cream person that they’re like how many scoops do you want and you just like everything is
I’m like infatuated with strangers like and the the the person sitting next to you is the most interesting thing in the world to me big because of the other Free Fall the chaos that moment when you’re talking to somebody and you got I don’t know if we have anything in common at all sometimes you find out okay this person is kind of a bummer or the other person who works in the fucking Saturn 5 rocket this fucking amazing but in that moment for you is more torture for I think we both agree that it’s like falling off something and and you’re just like I love that
I do it but I’m like I hate that but I feel like I’m I’m honest I do like a Patrick Swayze’s thrill seeker or something else I like it because you can find out if I can be very misanthropic and very philanthropic bike from moment-to-moment depending on the quality of the person sitting next to you but it’s times like I ain’t get really endlessly fascinated by a stranger you do too but you’re you come at it from a very holy shit I just got Phil and frapping versus misanthropic Phil as I would like file like Pettit like pedophile likes children like lately they love it
how about schedule always catching me Philadelphia Mississippi still anthropy I didn’t get the fill was like
I love those Chinese up and down 5th Street 4th Avenue
I love your journey
our next guest is no stranger to Chinese
Andrew Lloyd Webber I do what I want you to see that I’m not the only one that’s what’s this much and I I guess I always I feel like it’s I think you guys know it’s hot in this room but it’s 6 degrees cooler where you’re sitting I’m telling you and then you look at me and you go he’s still just resting I’m hotter than you just a little hotter
if you’re sitting out there finding themselves right now
I just come to bust up a chifferobe
civil rights are being good are back on the table when it gets hot enough every play every room because a southern court room in the woods old friend of the show we miss it very much but we’re so glad he spend some time away because he’s been busy and has been something really incredible not that he had not done all her all kinds of incredible things we were we were happy with him quite the way he was but he kind of the person I think you’re talking about he just deals in incredible Jim Humanity all the time
is a magical magic person he’s our friend and then let’s talk about his new project which is everybody’s going to be really excited to see please welcome back Bobcat Goldthwait
all right
thank you
you’re what you that idea that people will be excited and happy to see that that’s the worst thing that could happen to me excited to see me I just don’t want them to too I just want them to be normal you’re you’re you’re you’re an actor turned director probably for the same reason and your circumstances are so different like the idea that anybody would ever see me and his gun point is is like kind of like it’s for me that’s the same as saying you should be prom King but for what you’re probably perceiving that moment is like oh that’s the guy from Police Academy
I took a picture with him and he’s like what are you doing now
that’s what I learned there and then but if the guy was a good question what would you want people to say though cuz I still have a big ego like if they had I want them after I left that was him I blew it so I do have a big ego I just sad but you’re a mean one of the things that’s amazing about you now is that your you you accomplish things psychologically that other people think it’s just kind of theories from from from from therapy and stuff with career-wise in terms of because I had the most people have at the beginning at the end like I sold out at the beginning of those words but if I just more more the objective Point like like your you were first two famous for your hair and your voice and screamed your face
set this is not to say that your stand up was an awesome that they but but people were like my mom was like that’s the guy that’s the guy with the hair
and then and then you and then yeah and then you but now I’m not mumbling Bob guy know what he wants I got I got hit by a TMZ which I was shocked it was in New York because in La no one cares in the end they were trying to agitate me in the guy goes
they making another Police Academy the rebooting it don’t you think I should use the original cast and I was like no
And they go why not I go cuz a lot of us are dead
and then
I said if they’re going to reboot it they should do it they did the 21 Jump Street they should make it a comedy this time
that made the broadcast but then I said it didn’t make the broadcast I said it’s not really the right time to be doing wacky police comedies you know
the police are killing civilians do you know that
Hey Dad I said I’m crazy government now they’re going to let just anybody be a police in the end the end you know the scratching my head with my gun and I don’t know what to do with my gun but now it’s like a horrible reality someone will give me the police academy DVDs
I wasn’t in that
and I just I just I’m not in this movie Bobcat Goldthwait
China Hat story structure insiders Google doesn’t sound exactly like Nintendo squiggle diminish what he does but you know he does that all day long those noises like he really does and one day it was really cold and miserable and Reese shooting a scene for the third time and when the basement of this building avoiding the weather and he found the you know the doll the inside of a paper towels out of the tube and so that was she know he was like backlit when he found it cuz you can just mail it in
eat and I really feel bad so there’s a public apology to him and I just finally go Michael know in the cafeteria
little Cloud I feel really bad in my mind when I think of that store in a marching band
all right since the last time we saw you you were talking about this earlier you were shooting footage back when we first made friends don’t even think I’ve been working on this for a little while calling it together you have the him a Mentor Kia Mentor is the documentary made its out now called call me lucky and I start doing comedy when I was 16 Tom Kenny was 15 in Syracuse in this town next door there’s an ad that said they’re looking for a comedian and so, he’s always been amazing with voices he called up as like a dude you know like he was an adult not a teenager. Yeah we’re a couple of comedians who we let you set tonight and we showed up and there’s Barry you know it’s just such a character even back then you know he just looked up
is your parents drive you so so he liked my favorite Barry crimmins joke is the people say if you don’t love this country Rana to leave and he says cuz I don’t want to be victim by victimized by its foreign policies so a real sharp guy and he started to Club in Boston to that that last looks like Steven Wright and Paula Poundstone myself a lot of people got their start in this room and he was he was definitely a mentor and the gatekeeper like if he thought you were derivative of anyone else you didn’t get on stage and end in tears, meaning Steve Sweeney and little Carly’s, came out of that scene and he he drove it I don’t feel like I’m the movie isn’t it’s about him I think is important people meet him and stuff but what it’s really about is is he during a performance disclosed on stage about his rapes when he was 4
and and he went you know that he tried to process is so so in the course of him processing it he went online this is in the early nineties mid-nineties in AOL just started so there was people exchanging child pronography in chat rooms and he complaining AOL they didn’t do anything and then he then he went to the cops and the cops in the movie say when we didn’t have computers then so he poses kids got all this evidence against a a while and then took a while to the floor of the Senate during the Judiciary hearing and it said it was like a camper story this like you know night cook comedian embarrassing this giant Corporation and then afterwards there’s a shift in him
how did he go to the movies funny I know it sounds Daft Punk Rock there so you there’s in there so there’s some sort of just like nothing else they are there are you just trying to steer off of any conceivable road in front of you change the clown and I did that like there’s people that people who like like God Bless America we shot a baby I really thought
I really like I wrote it you know that you have a baby and the baby that was the only thing I’ve ever written that I got some point someone is going to say hey man you can’t do this like I wanted to look like somebody shaved up hug you know and the baby came and it was really cute and and it didn’t cry and I feel bad about this to this is my amends stories of apologies and Punishment
the baby didn’t cry on the parents go shooting today in like your baby so we gave him some more money and then
is a stunt bum like I said I have the parents with a walk off the set and the kids didn’t give a shit and then nothing took its biscuit out of its mouth nothing just sat there so then I’d love to tell you I’m a better man than this but I got down on all fours and I put Keys over to the land so be looking in the right direction and I got rid of the baby’s face and eyes like
whenever I was out of the way the baby horrify the baby as soon as my face wasn’t there it would just shut down it was like that Michigan jfrog he was crying at free beer
you’ll have your shot but anyways but all of that all that awesome punk rock anger energy whatever you call it you don’t call it anger but like you you had this father figure early on in your in your comedy career who who had this Scar and his life and and then one of your made all these different kinds of movies like another weird turn for you the found-footage like a Bigfoot movie resemble shakes the clown that much do I I I just like big
you cradle this guy with your with your first documentary very it’s why you say anti-establishment because I met him as a teenager and here’s this guy who is totally anti-establishment and he didn’t he was kind of sending it to us he actually encouraged it so yeah that was that really how did he come out of it like like is he happy with what what happened is that satisfying for him I don’t think he’s happy I’m not happy but I guess he’s the first one
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses a lot but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerves like ever you’re always in good hands
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there’s a scene in the movie where he actually goes into the basement that has happened in and I was just filming the basement because I thought that was way more powerful just to show the spaces but I did not want him to go in there and he goes you go through a problem you know you don’t go around it this isn’t there’s no demons the mystifying the space I’m going down there you can film it or not has he been back there since no no he says it’s not a place I like to hang out so we had a huge argument and and I said well we just give me five minutes so I can roll and it’s in the movie and it’s very powerful and
other than reason I try to remember the one of the things happen is he’s very eloquent in the basement and then afterwards cuz I knew it happened he went into shock you know he does this weird thing when he’s going into shock and I knew that was yours I can’t remember what I said is any of it usable and I said oh it doesn’t matter I’m going to play Yakety Sax.
What you’re saying he said we were doing a q in it and I said you know and I wanted to film the spaces and I didn’t I didn’t want to do reenactments and he goes you didn’t want to reenactments
if it works every time the movie for me was to show he comes out to the other side and not only he’s not a person a victim of this is he says I’m not a victim anymore it’s it it is about coming all the way through the other side and and you know he starts off the movies just full of rage and he’s still angry but you know his targets are no you no more directed at people that’s the thing that I want people listening to this for a spark plug in the movie is concerned if you’re it you know because I like the tough thing about good movies especially ones with her profound that have to do with like insights into human Darkness like they’re not always at the top of your list yeah I still haven’t seen the Act of Killing and everyone says it’s a great event
don’t worry about it it will not challenge you that way at the baguette it’s it’s it’s colorful and Whimsical and ironic it’s it’s it’s that your movie is similar in that sense is why I texted you halfway through it was like this is this is really a genius because there is a ferry to what the what the real important thing about about what time the microscope slide there it has something to do with the fact that he’s really smart and really funny and really autonomous and really unafraid of the entire United States government and all of mainstream society and anyone that could ever tell him that he grows are fatter dirty or stupid that he doesn’t cut the silhouette and therefore of somebody who is capable of having something so
but I just I didn’t just show me that this is where my vocabulary mixed economy is very interesting to me because he’s not it’s like we’re used to breaking up the world and the guys like that that are like he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t say oh my God I was molested on stage and then and then curl up in a ball and fixed so I can get some of them become really unfunny he became even funnier and even smarter and even stronger but it didn’t end in a process though he had to ask a couple questions about like everything that that he had ever thought or done it every formation of all and how do you know even those of us who don’t can’t point to a big red trauma on a map we have to go to therapy and wonder how much of what how much what makes people chuckle when I talk has is unhealthy and how much of it is like I don’t know it’s it’s it’s a really isn’t important movie for that reason it’s just a quote
well that way because he’s a really really incredible where is the comedian that you’re not familiar with no wait he gets raped as a kid and million-dollar what was it like like you gets like what was the journey for you and that movie like the you think that you were going to get through that without it being hard as you know how hard it would be for you I can like what was your journey through all that darkness and all that sadness it was you know he’s very concerned for my friend in Barry says that whenever the movie would have come first that his his well-being was always more important than making a movie even if it was a movie about it but it
it’s been very hard you know in it and it’s what do you want to do go through it’s now you know we’ve had a lot of success with a movie and will you show screenings and people need to really like it so I have to deal with that I don’t like success and then there is after the movie you know adult survivors come out and they just closed off and they’re telling me this is the first time that ever did this so you got a full portion of that every time you show the movie yeah yeah it’s it’s
I’m glad movie telling people I’m glad it’s been doing so well and people receiving it but you know it’s it’s
you know the birth of the movie and I’ll talk about here cuz the last time we work together was was here is my best friend and he
he knew I wanted you to bury story all the way in the mid-90s I thought you know we took a swipe at scripts and everything cuz I thought I’d want to have someone play him and it was Robin that’s kind of suggested that I jettison that idea I’m smiling cuz he was like he’s like I’m too old to play that was Tasha’s your daughter’s birthday she sat down as how you doing well I had to break up my best friend died and I’m making a movie about decorating a Christmas tree with another woman my best friend passed away and then you have for about 8 to 12 hours a day I added dealing with this shit child rape documentary so I’m really ready to do like a talking duck movie is something really a Sunday night
babies before but now you’ve like did you feel like there’s like Becky cut the cut the karma holsters off the leg. But Barry wants to do a sequel he comes and call me greedy and he said I don’t have any money and he actually gave me some money to start feeling that’s how the whole movie got made was that and it was you wanted him to do it live action version we still were thinking about making it with someone else playing him and Barry wrote a script that was about 350 pages and then I took a stab at a script which actually helped the dock because I kind of had the structure in my head and I didn’t do that as a bait and switch out how his disclosures reveal I just wanted the audience to
feel exactly how I felt knowing this guy knowing this guy really well and and then learning oh now it makes sense you know I think the 48 Hours version would have been
raped at 4 comedian and then nothing would have been funny for 45 minutes powerful thing about it maybe this is what I was trying to articulate is the is the fact that you do it that way it eats and I feel like sickness abuse death like the things that we fear the things that we know that are the worst thing that can happen to us we tend to relate to them emotionally as diseases and when our friends are afflicted with them like we we have this temptation to like we it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s terrible syndrome of Shame and guilt and and and stuff that we we we go like this person if this terrible thing happened to them then then that makes them a different kind of action figure they need they need special tools and backpacks and things and they’re not
nobody is more humid and more dimensional as the berry crumb it’s like screw it and nobody has more tools to deal with any Manticore they would cross his path
and and then and then this this this thing is placed in his path and we watch him eat it and watch them digest it weird that we we we we do it with him and that’s it humanizes a real thing which is really I have a winner cuz if Barry is because he he almost in my mind I may have been that kid at 4 cuz because his friends were talking about some preschool Revolt that he let you know he said that when I when he disclosed to me that my reaction wasn’t the you know someone says this to you now it’s on your lap you know you read seeing this person and when and when he told me I was just he said that it was almost as if you know I talked to her affection about how I reacted I was just like
not happy but I was just like oh well that makes sense if you see him or hear him any favorite jokes you first thought it was funny the first time I saw it was just the first thing I remember was just the first time I saw him walking on stage he’s he’s swelling of beer that he pulled out of his jacket and he’s smoking is like I’m not a health kick lately I penned up in there was like you has been has been out in the world and we want to hear what he’s been up to let’s bring Curtis Armstrong out
what a pleasure
thank you thank you
they have these friendships that I only lit that literally only exist on stage and it’s very unhealthy like I said very like like like what but yeah I’m just I’m just I’m just explaining that I’m not a healthy person I’m not at that like that’s what I was talking about earlier it was interesting to me is that I know was I’m here because I’ve been away for a while and I I asked if I could come by and he said yeah but of course he doesn’t tell me that you were here show up just as you come out and it’s the first time I think I’ve been in a room with him in about 30 years old. How old is Bill Murray
movie ad nausea was a big fat fucking connection they may well that’s that we were we made that movie and it was a big indoor BB gun enthusiasts by Ed the time
at the time we made that movie I was a big indoor model rocketry and Tuesdays so every night I go back in my room and build a big rocket and then shoot it down the hallway at the hotel rooms that you guys are making too much noise as I call I’ll give you don’t wake me up
is rocket oh yeah that was a lot of stuff like that was about that movie is there is Bill Murray there’s just now I feel better Joel Murray and and Bill and John Cusack and Demi Moore really funny about it is he’s so completely took over this movie
we all think that we have our thing going and we know what we’re doing and we have our bit and you know cusachs got a name already and Timmy’s got a name already but after about a week on the set they’re all talking like him on camera not just off camera where we’re going on camera and it started like with you Zack doing it in there and that river is reminisce and and and Joel and then to me started so they would be on camera doing scenes that had nothing to do with him and Sara’s David like you know this wasn’t supposed to be about Grover’s
he was on General Hospital kids that get done that Rob Reiner movies sure thing and everybody was coming up everybody had a haiku but but Curtis and nobody would recognize anybody
I’m over here seeing where where is Steve told me later that scene where the ice is with you and I and and I say talk about a little fat kid who is strong for you that fat kid and take it out of here and I’m almost in tears telling her but I didn’t I didn’t remember this Steve said that it was something I pitched in and we just pitch it I’ll tell you exactly what happened
where I’m going to fucking die over here
so happy I have never forgotten this because I honestly didn’t know Bobcat at that point he was just this this Godlike thing that showed up on the set up one day and you couldn’t stop you couldn’t speak you are good that you aren’t familiar with anything but at that time I hadn’t seen him so but he shows up and there’s just nobody like this man in the world and it wasn’t like he was on in that sort of bobcat character all the time he wasn’t doing that but he was so interesting and so funny and so smart and everything all this great stuff is coming out of it and you just wanted to sit and listen to him and so we’re at lunch one day he comes over to me and says come here and he takes me into a garage and
I’m not falling for that again but can I have this idea for a scene and I want to run through it with you before I show Savage this is what happened so we sit down and I’m just looking at you waiting for you to start and you start in on that speech where you say you know there was this little fat kid ones and you don’t and you can’t you go through the whole thing and it’s very funny if you know the movie and if you see the movie he’s really funny and and he tells this whole sad story about the little fat boy like he’s confessing and I say and I just said to him as a person
were you that little fat boy
and I thought it was the best thing I’ve ever seen so we got Savage from lunch and we ran through it again for sale for Savage and it’s the big scene that he has in the movie and he just came up with it but I didn’t do that yet I was naive about how things work then when you have a drink Community I didn’t do any of that shit a real Curtis that that whole scene that that my life is all ice improvised entirely by him in a garage I know that’s why I’m bringing it up as one of the biggest things you remember it and I have the best memory in the world
because I forgot they were in that movie too and he’s told stories about working on One Crazy Summer about how much fun you guys get who is really was from all the partying cuz it was insane and it was like like really sexy and I know it looks like I got this friend and he’s going to put them in the movie and I spin and payment shows up gets hammered jump in the pool cracks his face open on the bottom of the pool guy hasn’t been I can Maria and they had and they had a putty is faced with morticians wax
for mr. Selfridge yeah at what when they were making big comedy film was like oh I remember that the name of it was cuz it was my summer vacation agreed my summer vacation I said you can’t call that cuz they had vacation and so they are going to call it was One Crazy Summer any cuz if they put up Woody Allen movies it be when they’re out of Jewish guy
yeah it’s what you do to counter with Jeff said I think the further back you go and we think in this desolate landscape of where it’s catch-as-catch-can and we just get a little giggle here in my podcast got 600 hits and I’m so happy and I think you talk to the Farrelly brothers about Kingpin for example and you hear this story about how they almost killed themselves I thought Kingsman was the best Farrelly brothers movie that has ever been made but because the world was older than like the rules are different about who’s telling you what about whether or not you’re being successful whether or not your movie succeeded and it is the disparity between when you’re supposed to celebrate River the Sony leagues came out and the most delightful Channing Tatum email to everybody it’s Tony going
740 billion dollars in an hour or whatever I don’t know it doesn’t it doesn’t matter it was involved and he was like
! Emoji Movie I’m saying it was completely disconnected from whether it was a good or bad movie and because because like like Jeff is saying like oh that was a great time to be alive I’m going to assume. No that is assuming that like that just meant that more hilarious people were being told more times per minute you really sucked up can’t believe you in that piece of shit but you told me to be and it is a piece of shit I never said that
why would I do that I work from mikovits God damn it I was recently took Coke off of off of the Small World ride
I was I was in a talking horse movie to put me in Comedy Jam
and in my career and I look at that I was just recently moving and I found the script and I scribbled on it and send it back to my manager go why would I do this and then he’d written a dollar sign on it
I’m shameful telling the opposite of therapist the agents tell you that you should worry about everything and money matters when you go to therapy and you know I love working at I loved working at Community I love working with people people shows that I respect and have fun and that’s great and then I go make these movies you know and and I don’t mean to throw my agent under the but they’re not going to be specific one of my agents that way I can get him off the hook but
you know I hate he called me up and he says them
because it’s in the trades in the Sundance and I got yeah yeah yeah you made another movie
ask you a quote catch up you know what your agency Lake I I didn’t I think it was an age thing and I think it I regarded as like I guess I made it I’m like a character in a movie about people that make things because I had a meeting at my agency and I went to the wrong building they had moved four years ago because I don’t like somebody goes on Fox with you I know you I like they want to be invisible do they ever send you things for you to do you know I mean that you didn’t create yeah
and again I’m trying to become a suit because I’m going to fucking horrible self-destructive person but I should just read my emails it was just this is a very well-written script and I hate everyone who wrote it
if I ever see then I’m going to punch them all in the throat
it’s a pass and then I wrote PS if this email does get hacked by the North Koreans I’m a really big fan of the irreverent brand of humor and I wish them continued success
yeah I’m going to take it a certain fight turkey burger I’ve got a bike like you can’t leave him now he’s just like I tell her when they call you to get you you’re just you’re just out there like a log floating on a lake lady is the importance of the importance of representation becomes slightly diminished well it certainly doesn’t help in this the types of movies I’m trying to make you know so I just don’t waste your time with that right you know a Bobby are you still doing the Kinks thing or going to talk about my dream project is a screenplay Based On Schoolboy is in the Streisand and Ray Davis has been very involved in encouraging and.
that’s what I hope you make I hope so too you know it’s it’s frustrating cuz it’s you know
dudes in a high school basically singing it seems like that formulas work before I don’t know why I don’t know why people are really so skittish around it but it it may I don’t know it’s not like I’m coming to them with you know who did he do a musical nobody did that baby rape Doc and he did a Bigfoot movie
he’s your man dealer course you do a musical but I don’t know what’s going to go again a couple days ago like 2 days ago cried at the end because One Tin Soldier Billy Jack man and it’s it’s about civil rights and it’s about anti-Semitism and arianism but in a little bit
message politics with violence and such a beautiful makes your butt so I’m really I’m really proud of Jeff for resisting the urge cuz what he really wants to do cuz I know he knows it by heart he wants to do the Billy Brown when she and the kids I try I really try
I’ll do the whole thing
you can’t stop me God’s little gift to Sunshine When I See This this point so degraded when I think of a number of years
he’s going to have to live with his memory
this is Eddie otic moment of your ass I just got busy so I’m not just agents and he’s not auditioning for gay Billy jacket but yeah so so my ex-wife I sent you as like
hi dude I can’t do this anymore I’m so tired of being broke
I’m going to write a genre picture and I go I love Billy Jack I’m going to write a John to pick him and write a Billy Jack movies so I’m down there rioting and she’s how’s it going good I’m good you going to see how long you and I got about fifty Pages he’s gay now
so we’re just going to keep renting huh
I’m going to have to ask you to stop using that word out of your windpipe and you want to know something
it’s the simplest Jackson I’ve ever written it and he does
did any watch back over to the bartender and he finally finishes his whiskey and he throws it down he says he’s there a decent place for men to stay in this town and then it’s smashed cuts to him waking up in bed with the bartender
but I got to say this but know this sounds like it’s a joke but you know I really do kind of Explorer you know all this stuff about what’s it like being a man and what what defines do you know sexuality and Anna what the fuck is wrong with me I am so uncomfortable so I have no like this is hilarious these facts are going to hate this ride right exactly is a goddamn fucking psychedelic.
do nothing but to Cuba Gooding Jr and a series of other culprits make a movie what happened is somebody was getting fired at at one of the oldest agencies in the world and their fingers locked their filing cabinet with tipped over so there was finally the script visible underneath it and then the cleaning lady at the at the cleaning man at the age of 2
they put it on top of the pile so the bottom is like Brazil thing of the week
and then they find out that the movie is coming out of a porthole into the open-air and it is Oscar schlatters on someone’s face like 30 seconds before the movie with
I never liked nine movies I could have genders accountant hot after and then had nine movies with talking dogs and gay jokes in them I’d like the person that’s right and his kids one of the weirdest things to look for in boat trip when you rent it tonight kids
did the article mention that all my movies are available on digital platforms
8 hours
what’s an what’s an after Boat Trip first encourages is his phase of like I do I hate America France
play some movies in France near the scene in Boat Trip where Cuba Gooding jr. is in love with a woman who thinks that he’s gay because that’s what he has had to do to survive on the boat like a man which affords him the ironic chance to be in close quarters with her if she’s good fighting with him about her single life and if she wishes she could find a man and he if he just keeps slipping and enough then he gets to be with her until it’s a very very uncomfortable for him and at one point they the continent that the topic of conversation somehow the comes to either come to how how are you supposed to eat a banana or how you supposed to suck a dick but in any case she picked up a banana peel the banana to show him how she sucks dick and and so the joke is that he’s going like haha can’t believe it
banana tickets for the crazy thing the crazy thing about it if you watch watch the movie in high-def like
when it when it says you can see his credibility leave the back of his head
of her licking the tip of the banana unmistakable the prop Master for some reason has like whenever some reason for the disconnect between industry and government. And then the society like like the prop master has taken like a tool and like shaped like a a visible penis head into the tip of the banana
and I love all prop Masters that have ever worked with me you’re the fucking best your Wizards you collaborate well I have respect for your craft but this is exactly the kind of thing that you know that you’re going to step if you were to take take a late lunch you might find out that someone was like me I will then it says in the script it’s like a dick so what do I do today
what to take that makes no sense that they were making a hint
Supernanny
boxing did Rupert Murdoch and Sadie do you think somebody just looked at the banana was like I don’t know if this reads like a dick
Connecticut on 140
others like that and I’m not courting can we make it can she be the same guy who kept saying I’m telling you they should be called Gay boat trip I don’t know I don’t know why you’re happy your PC in the title that should be cool if we did we did we did just send the title people don’t care about the movie we’re talking about Cuba Gooding Jr and Carlos Carlos Carlos all. No no it was Horatio stanz we love and I don’t think everybody has to go home and watch it and I’ll find a boat trip rap beat more is it
I guess I got one more time into it you can’t find even the even the most course crass cynical explanation for it I was called today originally but it’s a rom-com not a little bit more with the tiny bit of bestiality in it just a little bit of beef
but I think people hear about it they think that’s what they’re going to say you know actually shot of her spitting dog semen out and all this stuff you know the joke isn’t like making fun of her character it’s actually about you know how there’s things in our past that other people can’t get past and she learns in that movie at the end she says you know I learned it’s the living up to the lies that we tell about ourselves that make us better people by the way they made a movie with an avalanche really like the dog but I remember getting this note
could you just jerk the dog out
pray to God what the fuc
which is actually weirder right like looking at the dog you know what this is about something weird and it’s like touching a toast to that you know is hot it was you know she’s not into bestiality it was just this weird thing I needed something that people couldn’t get mad I can only have one of the result of planting weird
I did too in a barn on a bed that’s what it is so and that by the way when that movie with you know it’s okay to lie and and and because some people tell the truth and they’re not being kind and but man as soon as that movie like the lights go up even though I’ll tell you what I had a bestiality story
that’s not what the movie is about 18 or 19 in the movie starts and that’s right out of the gate that scene happen and this is what it is at Sunday at the people eat out and it’s not me self-loathing it everything sells out at Sundance so I knew I was like the third or fourth choice you know I mean to say Hey you know it’s already Friday movies and I got a bobcat go to the movie ticket you want to answer it was packed I was but I think whatever they did not know what they’re going to get so this scene starts in This Woman’s like four rows behind us and she’s like going to leave and she’s Gathering up her coat and stuff in her friend talks her into staying and in about 50 minutes into the movie that same woman was crying watching a movie and my daughter goes look at your friend now I look at my daughter goes yeah you cry bitch you cry
oh my God damn now I’m terrified of your relationship with your daughter is is amazing and it and the Kurds I’ve never met your daughter but you seem to have a great voice to she loves you and I text that she’s your best friend and she like butt in and cleaning the ballbusting like like like at Sundance this year she’s like Dad after
come over here and do what she does that I want I got you this and it means a lot to me and I need you to wear this it it’s it was a police academy 2 crew jacket and if I hear of my series debut at the document on my friends. They don’t have a great relationship with their parents or they hate their brother or they hit their sister and there’s not a lot of great stories of family that loved each other there are plenty but it’s very cool to see like Tasha worships you and also treats you like a buddy
because I think you treat her like a buddy and like that that’s a very rare thing and Curtis like I think we take your word for everything because of you dealing some Saturday and I don’t think you would ever dissemble about something like that know everything that we like about you to act as individuals the fact that you have a great relationship with your daughter is as really nauseated I have to tell you when I when I met Bob he was the first the first actor I think I’ve worked with in Hollywood whose politics and particularly gender politics mirrored mine I thought that was so cool because there were not many of them women
and I was just by your voice.
No and I met you and I just assumed everybody in Hollywood to work I do and his wife Tanya and they have a daughter Lily and my daughter grew up with with Lily Idol as as as a friend so I was on Arsenio Hall when when he got fired and so I walked out and I spray-painted Paramount sucks and the backdrop of the set and then I took a the monitor which cost three grand I found out later on and smashed it and put my feet through it with my Doc Martens it was totally premeditated cuz I was like my Chuck Taylors are going to see that Mohammed is getting 12 volts
do you know if we’re making the movie it’s a guy getting ready for war you know I mean what do you need to know the weaponry and I got my Doc Martens I’m ready to go smash at The Arsenio Hall Show and I throw the mattresses into the audience and and under mattresses to me and as we’re going on a commercial he whispers in my area cuz thank you
and so I can leave the show acting like no big deal and I’m down coloring with my daughter and she’s eight and we’re coloring and then the news comes on and goes comedian goes berserk on The Arsenio Hall Show
I go watch you sometimes you act like you don’t have a brain in your head
I am I go but it is just a bit it’s just comedy because if it was, do you want to be on the news
Lily’s dad’s not on the news
yeah yeah yeah
ever since high school I used to wear dresses you know like skirts and it wasn’t it was not and I wouldn’t do it for Camp it was my way of saying you know if you go to a football party and you show up and some smart looking culotte it Fox up the football team harder than anything you know they say I woke up for school and she does that I’ve never seen that sweater she is that what goes so well with your brown skirt
I was like yeah you’re right Tasha and you out I wonder if she would do it she’s really smart to stay away she just produced her first night of Music at shacklewell Arms 3 bands
she is now going places 19
I might already
matsuura at 9 we did man
I like we were being careful about anything but protecting democracy
let me rewrite that let me rewrite that it’s not like we were projecting anything but democracy
important I’m not in the realm of male comedians especially the amount of misogyny like there’s so much women-hating in mail Comics like it’s it’s it’s kind of axiomatic it’s very cool and very respectful respectable that you guys that you guys weren’t doing so long and you have a female daughter that you look up to and like like I bet that takes a lot of balls to have a female daughter
I think if we just have a daughter know she’s going to be a female.
It’s a bit distant this this Summer’s massage in across-the-board like the fact that you like you look up to the women in your life so I can make me very very happy that Tasha and Tasha couldn’t be cooler and couldn’t love you more like she she speaks of you so highly Bob that that it’s like I think she she doesn’t to your face too I don’t think it’s like a secret that she told people that she barely knows like me that how much you like looks up to you and worships you but also she gives you shit she thought she’d high-status like I mean yeah we always got a pet name is jerk but she she loves it
Bobcat Bobcat Goldthwait at the Riviera as you can buddy of mine was my birthday and and Robin was playing the MGM and we’re all hanging out that weekend and I have been onstage in five years cuz I’ve been tracking the Kimmel show into another stuff and Tony’s having her being it wasn’t the greatest Crown I got Tony bring me up and he’s like really I started performing in my daughters like do the voice and
truck and Relentless and then Robin was like bring me up you know this is not that long ago and you would be amazed how many people to be like you know you more. You know I mean hey Mark where’s Mindy Antonio she’s over at the fuck off and ask you to join her.
I’m over to is just so busy it was
age-appropriate women will go nuts for Robin like we had a light saber tooth tigers ever going mental there like they like it was like the Beatles menopausal they were like chasing a respectable like that’s funny you say that I’m not much deal will if you wanted to
say I’m not sexist just wanted to crush any Goodwill that you would develop for me I apologize you’re really clean the last time he and I went on stage was that your show and I remember he was just here at Mountain cuz what are you doing I’m about to do a podcast and so he just stayed yeah and I just put me in coach at 8 a.m. that anything he has it sitting it was wearing as little windbreaker and he was never he was so shy and so you did a bit down but I feel like I fucked it like this deserve as like Bobcat Goldthwait and you came out and if you told Bobcat the fuck off and then Robin Williams and Robin came out
ironic came out and gave me like an Iggy and I got a headlock cuz I just met him at Eric’s house like two nights before we sing songs like when you go to Eric’s house like you sing and when he left the stage he hugged me and I held him and I said thank you for making everyone think that you and I are great friends actors is a shaggy-dog joke that I tell but it’s a true story and I won’t go into the holster I’ll try to do a truncated version going from Los Angeles to New York in Midway through the engine blew up and it was terrifying it was really good and I’ve had enough traveling to step to play Just
suddenly was just dumping and and it was like G-Force kind of stuffy nose really scary people were screaming is like saying come check out the flight attendants flight attendants are looking out the window turn around sobbing sobbing flight attendants
I’m not exaggerating and they’re holding each others hands I always thought you were a professional karaoke
what’s up man I got to say I’m like completely out of my body and I’m like this one’s for the black box
on the Black Box alone
and I am a sound body and mind and we were just we would die if I landscape is well is a horizon then I Horizon 4 into the letter H but he’s the guy kept saying that every time to be a friend is no reason to be okay for me to but I got this
I’m not making any promises to Final refinement on that the bad news is all bets are off in terms of blank FAA and everything the good news is that means I get to do whatever the fuck I want and and ladies and gentlemen I’m fucking good
smoke
Light It Up
turn turn your neighbor and just go down so if you’re an atheist about throwing your baby like a football
now be the time to do no one will ever know except you all I got to say all I can say is this is 100% true they other people on the flight with a good portion of the United States Special Olympics team that’s a relax just let me finish the story I’m not there was forty-five men and women in red white and blue running suits with metal so if it wasn’t the Special Olympics team it was a really big hip hop group
which Town Syndrome soap
this is America
so
to the plains training to his videos and and I’m thinking I’m dying and I thought of Tasha and I thought of my friends and then clears about the guy’s back and I desire is no reason to be alarmed and 1/2 minutes
ferry schedule
Tucker Brothers movie like yeah
Cleveland and Cleveland and then we land the runway will be covered entirely in foam
swear to God at the very end of the day will be a fire truck and I’m sitting at my and clears about and Dimitri going back to that place about a voice in the back of the plane went
TRUE
okay and I laughed and nobody else I’m like fire truck
I
I went to jail that was the moment I went through mazes to agnostic I was like you know what
there really might be some sort of higher than a higher power
and and I know and I know and I know people that go you know they’re like
and when I tell the story people of course come up to me and I’m going to put the thing is I got I know plenty of people have mentally challenged folks in the family or they work with them but if you don’t think they say or do any funny you’re denying that the human beings is that the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever heard another human being say
why is Jack and the tag is I was trying to figure out like who is going to get top billing at the plane crashes has a Special Olympics team dies in fiery crash also onboard 80s comedian Bobcat Goldthwait
Clark Bobcat Goldthwait special Livingston you go I was right so
so
the second time I tell that story which is it is a hundred Tuesday the Second Story I’m into my ACT about 10 to 15 minutes and this woman gets up and she’s is cuz I didn’t have the tag that is is that deflected
because my son is you know when she’s upset because she storms out and she makes a point and then go to the door and that door is locked so that she has to go back through
and it’s horrible and she’s got a table full of friends and this is really in the miac seriously 10-15 minutes and then I go is that lady going to go she really gone is she out of the building they got Yaga all right I’m not going to do my act and he doesn’t know this is my friend Robin Williams Robin Columbia finish this accident so he comes up I need that so I got an hour or stand up then when she got and then I come back all right
text you friend right now but let her know what happened she was just so you know what happened after I left he left and Robin Williams did an hour
I hope you made your point
how much do barracudas get out of jail free it comes up and it just fits right and I’d love to tell you I’m a better man than this I grab them from right between me and the Barracuda not for laugh
where are you at and I even could have got out of it cuz we both started laughing when we run out of the water and he’s like you did that on purpose
can you find a good run you know Robin Williams and other attacked by barracuda
but yeah I’ve been in lots of places where I was like oh shit I’ll be a footnote on this plank is George Takei is on the plane while I cancel Hulu is on the plane plane crash
Fiddler’s Green on the plane before I mean grapefruits and he got on the plane and he’s walking up and it’s a guy like hello mister poop so the guy that was working the gate I just saw you on an episode of like fucking what’s it what’s the fucking show the fucking some sitcoms of these big big big bang theory I just saw an episode of Big Bang Theory and very good news I can expect a residual
you never never going to worry about crashing when fucking Sue losing your fucking plan that’s very good news so he’s sitting in front of the control the ships not in space we all feel like if this is the best player ever going to be on because he sat in front of a space ship that never died and I had no idea I don’t care I’m being too being I’m being an asshole
no he’s heard this
an antenna preoccupied about like the shows it we got it we got to wrap the show up the game with us for 5 minutes I was so good at Dungeons & Dragons sure let’s play Shadowrun right now
do they March in the dying Embers of a of a soccer game right do I have a bad to give a better Birds Eye of the call Goodman okay okay
so in the post feminists progression of the show we’re bringing no women up
because you know why because they’re they can take care of themselves
put that in your pipe and smoke it and if you don’t believe that maybe you hate women
see you next week all right so as I recall last time you guys found a bunch of ghouls there was a Google magnet in a briefcase with you guys you guys are a bunch of ghouls what was happening after that don’t mean that was basically the whole recap but I mean I could do it but no nothing happened after that so right now we have this but we got fucked over we didn’t get the money right you did not we were supposed to get paid by our Johnson he fucking boned out and I were standing in the parking lot and we have a lot of questions
we’re inside a inside a chain link you’re outside of a chain link to parking lot nearby a dead gas station I’m holding a beeping
the game is a fucking cool magnet and I throw it
alright Nightblade what was the name of our screwed us over I tell him Spencer he tells you that he didn’t ask because he didn’t do due diligence we did we didn’t get the name of that guy know you sure didn’t have enough time password where I receive Liberton can I cast as a kind of a spirit or a neck Like an Eagle do I look fly off and follow the car of the person that drove away from us that guy that’s been far too long for that you can send them to search but it’ll be some time before he
Eagle Tire for that guy for sure how strong can I use my ugly spell on the guy even though he’s he’s getting away but it’s a long-distance Agony spell can I do one of those you don’t have line of sight to him he’s he’s far far off so that my mother could do that without seeing them
but even if you were just going to try Curtis I mean if you even try even if you’re just going to try and probably sound like
along with what you can we can we team up on my spiritual legal to fly on
yeah yeah yeah but it’ll take some special doing it’s a lot harder if you could pass out you could even die oh shit.
Professor knows I’m willing to sacrifice if you put the agony on my my spiritual Eagle but I touch my Red Feather earring on my right ear that gives me special spiritual power with the spirits of air but should protect me more ashy protect me more friends hold my hand hold my hand well let’s all hold hands just in case
I’m holding my spiritual Eagle to go to go to go to go find his mother fucker instead of money selling combination of spirits rolling through Kota Gods party I’m elevating it with my own volumizer and sending it back through to the doctor and circle I get back from you today Google
little
I sense that the only thing that could possibly be holding us back is the psychic blockage in my own body so I lock eyes with Doctor friend and continuing an art that was established 5 episodes ago I say I’m gay too
role playing is easy
so act like it has to do with like numbers and Jamal Brown
I’m Jeff Davis Riverside Spencer Crittenden
Curtis Armstrong
Bobcat Goldthwait
Dan Harmon
I demand a dump trailer Apartments have checked her doesn’t Bob come back to finish what we started on this fucking guy got to run drive fast and take chances
and keep your eyes peeled for call me lucky and it’ll be going to be on your God knows what mediumship
links to crispell rough and Sarah Hill