Episode
Description
Senator Bernie Sanders returns, Harmon thinks of the most insulting thing to tattoo above your penis and Shadowrun is faced with a newfound time limit. Watch the video and become a member at harmontown.com!
Transcript
Hollywood California Sunset Boulevard
Hermantown
session
the biggest rat in the crate and then our game master
I just for good measure let’s bring us a good day or miss your dad
thank you
thank you very very much you’re always very kind even though we keep doing this over and over again you guys you guys keep reacting so it’s like it’s like it’s like they’re happy happy every time they play tonight is it just something about this this crowd there’s a
the dinner is the electricity in a free song than they are right now and yet we said we say that all the time and it’s not always the exact same offer that to I feel like I feel like we must be smarter than last week’s out again somehow they’re ready for more of a free-fall more you guys are up for an adventure more than last week
I think you guys want to go on a bear hunt
OSHA
I do a lot of people wait what what is that he’s is that like a weird College thing where we had a Bear Hunt but they got caught it got cut out of the episode when we are by the Platinum package or whatever and you get all the unedited cities if you go to the Nashville one in my in my blackout blind drunk like I take the audience on a bear hunt with a thing from that we didn’t in my date. Give kindergarten pre-kindergarten in my daycare center that I remember that red carpet bowling lanes are the parents would drop the kids off and then the kids with other kids would just roll around on the linoleum in traumatize each other and every once in awhile and old lady would say let’s go on a bear hunt
okay now you can that you can go go go play with the toys in the three fastest kids would would would get to the dirty big wheel first and I dyed hide under a table and a girl but a crane in my mouth bear hunt the weird thing is like I hate her so much
but also I’m able to recognize cuz she said something like like like like like like you could be pretty or something you know she said something she was like she was she was she was like she was really wanting to use the crayon is like lipstick you know like she wanted to put lipstick on me she’s giving you a makeover probably flirting as far as what four year olds are concerned but I did notice that she would she meant no harm and on the other hand I’m still at 42 I still have all of the revulsion and hatred
is that my tiny brain felt because I have no idea what the hell why would someone lunge at me stick a crayon in my lips are muscles worth our muscles were protoplasmic get a chance that you was trying to be inclusive and what do you mean inclusive like you make like progressively like she was thinking about gender roles know I think she was she was Drew Barrymore in E.T want to play house you wanted to play you know if you wanted if you want maybe she want to play the sexy sexy time I don’t know but I don’t think she was like you know she was from that age before kids develop the part of your brain that knows that I’m a disgusting monster
that that comes right before I sent it direction did they say they’ve done studies for 6 year old girls into an MRI and they study of the that the centers of their brains that light after they show a picture of of of Dan Harmon at the end of the ice cream or like a fire hydrant
I should have said same-sex in his ice cream
are you guys out yet it’s good because we live in this didn’t and now we are all pedophiles are out there where everything was every time you mentioned a child with our brains are waiting for the pedophile. I said ice cream which is something you like so let’s just abandon this whole thing
but that well to finish my thought then and then at 6 they showed us the tracker a chicken chicken chicken pox right that’s okay hey
look like when you were little like when you were in elementary school like you have preschool through fifth grade was there ever any exploration romance stories in your life was it was never not awkward was that what I almost went to remember when I was in the car with you for the rest was great man. Like I looked at like a black box cabaret show anywhere but I I want I want to see her whole name was a name and it’s literally a little redhead girl was like a Charlie Brown saying that she was going to kindergarten see the lipstick girl the Korean girl was like what you doing but I was wondering if I if I’m Craig passed away and I was thinking about always on Craig and I was thinking of early a what was my first redhead moments
well I didn’t know they were red headed guy what was my first like kind of like Spike go spark of like do you know what was what is it acetaminophen that makes you the chemical that makes you fall in love and it’s an acetaminophen because I had a hangover and I oh my God that’s it the call and they go they say here
then back it up walk me through this
and explain
my last name is Herman back to my first name was either Daniel or Daniel Daniel same class with real champagne went to that was Middle School
that would be amazing and we’re still some of us are still pooping her pants
to this very day sitting in a circle and the way we sat and the order in which our names were called there was always this pattern so and the H’s come before the ends and her name you know I got changed her name her name is Nicole McHugh you know it’s a perfect like it’s a fictional first first you know little girl crush kind of name and she Daniel Harmon and I don’t know I don’t know who started it and what happened that whenever my name was called I would I would say here and I’d look at her and she smile and we both smile and it would Giggle and then name name name piece of shit random piece
and then and then the same and I went to Nicole with you and she would raise her hand and we would lock eyes again and then Giggle and smile and it was like that was the entire relationship I never talked to her on the playground and I probably made the whole thing up in my head you invented thoughts of course you think of them but I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t remember them as hallucinations that the same initials and her name is Nancy Mendelssohn and I had this fantasy relationship with her and that never existed I don’t I don’t know that we ever spoke to each other but in my mind that we were quite in love and I don’t think I ever had a moment’s conversation with her it’s all downhill from there man you have an early like Proto relationship like that I mean you guys are fucking nerds
I got a way with new segments is called possibly awesome ideas I came up with during a blackout drunk at the TV Guide showrunners party
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah sometimes TV Guide as a party and they invite all the smarties that make the TV like Shonda Rhimes and Dan Harmon gets invited some of the time picked up for season 4 and he’ll never forget it
but now he’s back and he’s at the table because Rick and Morty showed them all I was April so I can get to sit there and get real drunk and I talk too loud and I feel bad the next morning
McDonald’s iced tea and Aaron
okay so it’s a dystopian promise it’s called Peach Hitler Peak like peak oil if it because it’s in the future where what I wrote down is but this guy was driving a world where temporally oligarchic corporations draw oil from the subcutaneous residue of sip of a supposedly infinite supply of Hitler’s supposedly
cuz I look like in the future they find out that like like tears everyone under their scalp or between their skull in their brain or maybe right between their scalp in their skull who knows everyone has like a just a tiny little bit of of oil that you could use to run a car like a company incorporation cut. Cut you know goes like luck we have time travel now it went in there are infinite timelines raise your hand if you’re against drilling into Hitler and everyone’s like that’s a nice commence Hitler 3080
time in drilling into the same Hitler are there are there more than one slip in the shower or take a take an art class or whatever like he becomes a technically different Hitler from the from from all the other Hitler’s guys are all Hitler
the Bear 400 oil is invented oil for Hitler on the threshold you crisis like there’s a technician who’s like he encounters like a question of like
I think this guy was I don’t I don’t know if we’re going to end up being that bad I Hitler
what one of the alternate let any of the guy who’s in charge of doing this thing is this is the way the world works is you take a Hitler you felt like a transparent plastic Dome on his head like while he’s walking down an Alleyway in Austria or something and then he’s like but trust me you’re Hitler and this is going to hurt you more than it’s going to hurt my car
and then it’s like the title sequence
the that sucks. But then the threshold is like a guy is like like you know there’s like a like a drill bit brakes or something and then something goes wrong and then dammit we got a fucking 752 we got it we got it running and Hitler your fucking Hitler I know you don’t
batteries are going night night all night I don’t care if you have a Walther P38 about I bet you will try to shoot me cuz you’re Hitler but but it won’t matter cuz he kicks down the door and then the camera pushes on just adorable Hitler
like I know who you who you cast as adorable Hitler who’s who’s the actor
the hahaha
probably not Hugh Jackman but at the same time
I don’t know like I and it’s at you know what let’s just put a pin in that okay but it’s like the point is like like like like maybe it’s a CG Hitler maybe it’s like maybe it’s like so that you can get Rihanna are accurate in there I think you make it like I like you okay
so if it switches on him and he’s doing you fill in the blanks does that mean I’m a structure guy I’m dialog dialog I’m not a fucking like I don’t care about the details he’s like you know he’s got a kitten or a poor he’s like hot you do you like setting fire to Sonics that he wrote to summarize he’s like I always like he’s doing something with this guy just give me one second whenever whenever he sees when he kicked out that door it’s it’s specifically the first fifteen pages of the script it was it said that this is not something this is not how Hitler’s work right like they don’t have my feelings one of these in front of Hitler’s what what set him off on a different side door of that like you’re going to do that I thought the trans trans trans trans trans cognitive I thought they didn’t they didn’t make mistakes or whatever have pets
I thought they loved I got they love races and he said I didn’t I don’t know what you’re talkin about I’m just I’m just me like no you’re one of a million possible Hitler’s and he’s like why is that a bad thing and I don’t any of you guys like like he just hears like
I don’t know bad Sirens back then but they just like shooting with a silencer but like anything he just killed him but then it turns out he like put them in a bag and you take the bow field and he set them free it’s not about that Hitler is about an industry running on infinite Hitler’s the idea of the out you know if there are infinite Hitler’s Hitler’s that’s the thing is like the fucking still corporate greed who’s infinite timelines they’ve taken oil out of all of the bad Hitler’s they’ve created a universe a Multiverse in which the only thing remaining are average Hitler’s but we can still get away with even mining oil out of a good Hitler’s because they’re still Hitler’s I know somebody that works underneath that presents like no you’re right now just dealing with regular people now just regular good Hitler’s is is it is it Hitler is one of the good Hitler’s is Elijah Wood Hitler
the protagonist of this or or is the oil industry would as Hitler is the polar ice caps you know he’s like 4 or oil you know it’s late it’s late doesn’t he like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park start Lee part of the draw definitely on the poster is there a is there a Jeff Goldblum yes all right
moving on to it to it to it to another segment party this is a segment Dan drinks a lot so the stories aren’t all he’s got it doesn’t just wait till TV Guide party to get flash he does it all the time and he’s always awesome and he always comes up with things that he answer right now
we’re drinking with Dino Dino was talking about so it’s so Dino and I’m assuming it has he does not mind
details about his so he has to like right above his weiner hit somebody was asking what it said she has like a tattoo it’s like a sting in Greek on his arm and it’s above its above my my weiner area so that means it’s like unless he shaving it all the time it’s like hidden by hairs right
yeah you’re you’re you’re well yeah is the art of the is the arm of the design worked into that is like a lurking tiger in New York with his passed out in New York with his pants down I saw him is pampered hit a belt on and his pants were fastened and zipped up but it was still below his dick and balls and he was wearing women’s tights and fetish underwear what it was cut out so I could see his dick and balls and through through mesh was wearing women’s tight so there’s just way more special underwear it was see I was finished he want two layers of the ankles
I saw no tattoo is going all right so this is this stories about me
the Point of Departure that I have a friend who has a tattoo above his penis dick
I keep pausing the price a dick but not because I think there’s like an S&P Department because I just feel like I don’t know the word that I keep saying the word dick cuz it’s about a tattoo of a dick and like I said I don’t know somehow categorizing that is like oh what kind of podcast it was I don’t know I don’t know what my I don’t know my fucking deal is but a man has likewise why is there a tattoo of your dick dominatrix put it there as of as a form of domination putting it there to let you Millie eight me I was like oh boy what it what is it like like what that like in the worst case scenario it means 10 something
or Bowl the strike but you’re right that is the worst case scenario is you lost a big deal
did you just send me a text message now I’m an o wait I guess I probably did because I responded to Steve who is Drake texting us you’re sorry all right so he has it this story has a point about the great idea how good I am at what I do because I know where it said that it was like we were going like she’s a dominatrix well let’s beat this tattoo you know what would you tattoo above someone’s dick till like I’m like the thing I’m proud of is that this was the first this is it for me I didn’t bother your first pitch
I just pick I was like okay well what you do and I was like okay I got it I got it okay so so in in in in in in in 1938 there was this cartoon called Nancy and it and it was like syndicated in like the eighties and stuff I’m sure eventually when it was like a little like a little I should have pulled up like I don’t remember telling people my age like fine I’m over with Nancy and Marmaduke and all the shit where the pay really one of these things is like she is kind of run in a Steamboat Willie Style I was like such an old cartoon it was like originated in 1938 I had a black bob haircut pictures of it says she was at she Chevy precocious eight-year-old that was the gimmick that’s how young cartoons were like that was it that was ironic I was like what if what if what if he was chubby and precocious is a guy making shoe and he’s like
I’d love to just drop chubby girls all day hanging out making mistakes learning about life so Nancy was Nancy was a chubby precocious the kind of like I think I like oval kind of like almost a Little Orphan Annie but filled in eyes and a nose like every time in that cartoon every time she’d look at something they would be like a dotted line going for her. So that’s that’s why I did use her cuz I don’t care about the cartoon but it is but I also think it’s really funny that’s really funny that specific
like like above his dick and she’s looking at the dotted line goes down to his dick
I know there’s a thought balloon I’ve ever had and it’s a dollar sign with a line through it
and the caption is worthless
I was very proud of it and it took me 40 minutes to explain it I think it holds up the whole speaking of peak Hitler it takes less gasoline in is in one Hitler to go to an alternate timeline
yes because but here’s the thing okay so it’s corporations okay
I need your key answer to that
is you know
have you seen scandalous I mean come on in is is is the corporation they don’t care how much it cost
well they have if Exxon has has like the ability to time travel book the new Ford instantaneous now you don’t have to really drive you can just sit in a car with no wheels in blink to your office they be like then we’re out of fucking funny yeah yeah I’m thinking of all sorts of ways to solve that
let me let me let me let let it let me answer your question with a question so are you telling me that that in the future the fossil fuels and driven Industries have shrunk our polar ice caps to the point where there’s now more room to to drill and that’s what they want to do like that’s crazy too
that is crazy yeah
hold it hold it for 30 more seconds.
29-28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 2019 to 1817 23 22 14 13 12 11 10 9 4 3
Real Steel
clap baby
history of all of my detractors right that this is definitely a cult of personality than any actual empirical measurable and if you’re just looking at a guy that’s not a new guy that’s on me I should bring more to the table
you just you just do that cuz you know it’s a good I need all the help I can get man that’s why he’s always going to be with his knees at the certain I’d let you know that triangle thing wait take me to that one
you’re not familiar with that triangle thing I don’t know what they are I was I was referencing that kinds of without knowing what they are it doesn’t matter it’s like lately lately
lately lately I’m sorry
I looked through the glass and said James it’s okay okay now I really
James Cromwell
I was getting treated at by somebody who that is it was there are there any was there anybody here who who’s whose whose, great distance tonight like good
journeyman George Washington Trust bereavement
New Zealand Miami New Zealand New Zealand I mean New Hampshire
that’s like the New Zealand’s of the United States guys that the entire time there was like Super Bowl like Hong Kong New Hampshire New Hampshire Manchester is that very quaint and Colonial a kind of gorgeous and like old stuff like very
I think I went through there and there’s lots of like like like Revolutionary War monuments and stuff like that am I making that up
how did it go in my government and okay so I’m in the Keene New Hampshire
if it isn’t half so beautiful right now as it was at Fall Foliage time out there almost did you come here for work or for pleasure
New Hampshire Place
pat, pat what brings you all the way from New Hampshire to Los Angeles for your own pleasure Disney with my girlfriend you know this is a lot closer than the Hampshire the glory to that one way too much is there a Western Massachusetts Disney I just think of the country as a square so all the corners are in the same distaste that I like yeah yeah
have you gone to Disneyland here yet cuz we went for you go out like right now
I didn’t know I thought I would have been gone I couldn’t have gone out of town but I would have loved to have been there everybody’s all fancy pants that’s like who is your name
fast and loose you are part of the reason why we came okay now what what goes on at Dapper Day. What did you guys wear to Dapper Day at Disneyland
watercolor a flower dress with an insanely hot Petticoat underneath it and then for some reason I decided to go all the way and curl my hair frontwards which meant it just fell in front of my face every time I tried to do something
and the cat and every man has ever been to Disney World or Disneyland before
how many times a year should you start I love you been dating so every year you go from New Hampshire to to California California California so what’s different about this year except you traveling that distance to have an extra hard year at work so you’re like all right now I’m going to go to the real Disneyland a crazy schedule and we just barely ever get to see where the show ask what you do without crying after asking you to come over today so I clean cars at rental car company and at night I am I pay for a new station on my God where you where you clean cars for the rental company of of of of of America’s thirst for blood
the later one in Florida I got to say that she feels better to the Anaheim one because my work there I think in the sixties and my daughter is my first marriage work there in the seventies and I work there in the 90s so I love Disneyland
but I’m just trying to buy something I love Disney and I love clothes but you said you would do you do this thing in the morning and then at night you do this or what what are you when you sleep never never has vacation or more like more important my life is a vacation and I work the whole time but my job is a vacation I do when I drop my rental car off I’m like oh I didn’t get my back hurts I do want to get that straw wrapper and it’s like and then you’re like well I’m going to do this all day and then at night I’m going to go to that place so will you go to a place for vacation is incredibly important probably to her as well because as you guys have been five years that’s longer than I can know what what what are your work hours going to do
Monday through Friday at a life insurance company and then I work at a part-time job at Market Basket and then we have a four-year-old too so the other kid was it you that you guys are busy or really busy but you know you have a kid together for years may be so kind and Friends of a controller and Armenians by the way this is
I’m taking over the show
you’re an amazing mother and you are an amazing girlfriend and will you marry me
the funny. Kind of funny but if she was telling me about how she had a dream that I got in touch with you and I just proposed to her for the harmontown are you are you sure because you tweeted me two weeks
did you get that feel organic and then surprising
I got Jay will block you anyway
I never even thought of that perfect Locker
I was hoping that it was going to be at Disney and so all day
it’s okay you have the floor
I had this dream and I woke up and I was like that’s what Patrick he’s going to do anything today I’m pretty sure everybody else knew I didn’t always text messages like so how’s your vacation look like what’s going on I thought maybe that was a chance when you came here tonight that was going to
how do you say I love it I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t crying right now so cool you guys are the cutest things in the universe that I think that the mayor of harmontown was present
but I also why don’t we make their why don’t we make their engagement even more official by going higher up on the governmental chain and bring up Senator Bernie Sanders
Bernie Sanders to make an official
senator from Vermont Democratic democratic
congratulations to your your trademark humility is is is giving away to you have certainly since the day you first met you were out of my show I have certainly learned your name
well here we all get off to get comfortable with your grandma is very close. There’s a very long do you feel that you had you can weigh in and I have any jurisdiction over this new Union of this new proposal here or is that going outside of your own Jersey.
Burlington Vermont Airport from the 9/11 coverage if you wanted to read that it all before or after the festivities
I said old only one couple about get a hold of my wife I think his name is James
well if you’re going to think your wife’s name is something that’s a great guess I’m playing we were just get off just go up there about your own wife.
I would say 95% of the time you know the statistics about things I’m surprised to know that it was about 95% Federal off look I would prefer I would prefer if you start with a….
Paw Patrol at her name is Jay.
Feel the burn feel the burn
I just thought I’d check in with her a newly engaged couple and make sure I don’t know I kind of thought you might are you guys come for your birthday
I asked a couple of questions.
I have nothing up my sleeve
emergency status players that can come down and be rolled up if I need to demonstrate
call Yellow why do Cargill Milk Duds before I go in Fargo.
That’s so comical Terry Walker
what is a professional do you have one
Insurance that’s fantastic that’s that’s one of the few that still around during the day, PA services in Coal Center
what was the same time Florida has to pay for your health care and have to pay something. That was it that was at a time
what’s please stay with me the Rhythm wasn’t there
all right well
try to strike a balance between out of the spotlight and just smile and hold hands and watch the rest of the mayor of harmontown so they chose to a proposed here maybe they get up and eat. Can you just put a formal like maybe we’ll make up a new ritual while you were you trying to find them in some sort of Legally we are big fat harmontown engagement yet until you okay so is there a is there like a slower slower like nuptial rap I didn’t Bernie you to the Vincent Price Bridge you know like you know the spoken word
all right yeah I just made at Ryan cuz it’s going to be from for the heart heart from the brain
yeah yeah yo proposal more important than marriage gives us the stage of marriage where marriage is still an option
one life becoming too but not quite yet cuz it’s a now you’re in for now he’s right now you’re happy
he’s going to be a big ceremony one of the two of you is going to is going to feel like you’re doing too much or too little and there will be fights
but we live on a planet devoid of face and everybody thinks that eternity is a rain and it you can do it do it by joining with someone else in the second half of life I don’t believe that monogamy is something that was not meant to be I think that’s something that’s made by four creeks in Dubai
why
I’m a racist guy
heading home everybody Patton Hannah
Union
thank you
buried your happiness increase over 250%
Sanctified by the by the mayor and the senator from Vermont actually a beverage up of four people who purchase better keep party together simpler times and it went in for me please I got a Communications printed out on a dot matrix printer at home and sort of electric Battlestar Galactica when they wouldn’t you do the job is like giving the tour and going like it’s all vacuum tubes and then if it’s hooked up to the Internet because you do robots tried to murder us
program I actually saw I had that I watched on VHS watch a little Battlestar Galactica. I find an inspirational if I’m elected president and there’s not an immediate fascist
Senator Sanders
call Darrell. Is he elected president of the United States are cure what is the first body is like I would want since we get all our signing like the thought of gets to change the universe a little bit of a piece of legislation you put into action do your first 24 hours behind. 44 hours of Office are going to be spent a spaghetti legislation I think it’s going to be dedicated to a drum circle
what is a Rose Garden public
don’t you think it kind of is it isn’t it kind of weird from a strange Cosmic objective standpoint that and actually that is your demographic is this that Lisa is it like that that’s how fucked-up and weird our world is is that the guy that looks the most like our dad the guy that the guy want a second look to help with your eyesight as a reference Teach Your Children Well Crosby Stills OK Google TopGolf The archetype of the of the clip-on tie rolled up sleeves look that that would be made from crystallized college professor message
I look like I’m almost fueled by the mockery of children sitting in a college class like are running for president of the Paw Patrol
I want to make something very clear I feel like I’m very young OK Google say you let’s say you served two successful terms as president United States top 5 past 67 years from now is going to be made of vegan macaroni
the gunstringer war format using soy milk soy milk but it’ll look nice a woman I believe in the ten dollar bill denomination of currency would you like to see yourself on or if not you who else would you like to see on money in your place I’d look at some point question I don’t want my face or any card say I actually believe that the Federal Reserve should be audited I’m the only kind that they say that the size Rand Paul and he has as much of a chance
I believe that the Federal Reserve should be on it and so I don’t want my face on anything except Social Security checks
Social Security and Medicare checks I want to have a pig just a party face that’s like their you owe me from the control room if you’ll sit closer to me so that we both fit I’d like a playdate they’re all that going why isn’t it better for me to either look at the Senator Sanders or or Dan Harmon how come I can’t look at both of them want me to come down to or do you want to see was the presidential candidate I’m going to come down to where you are a player kind of sex
I like that.
Okay alright well I think this is what people are afraid will happen metaphorically if we do it like you directly going to trade ever. The parts are you are you on adderal right now what’s going on that I don’t think it’s fair for seniors
fart
ultimately
men love Pearl Jam
that’s not a joke Jello Biafra
do you really have Jello is from Beyond the Grave
I am speaking of that. So if you ordered this is his name Paul Westerberg is that the name of the guy was it somebody tweeted me about you you know about Paul lessig walk and I blocked it I don’t want to get personal but that ain’t going to happen all right
lookbook Lawrence less I can say he’s going to run for president if he’s elected he resigned after one day or whatever when he doesn’t think I think he’s going to take it and he becomes a rose
it has happened I mean what did we elect Napoleon and then he crowned himself yes I think we only did I think we only wanted him to defend the Bastille actually at her like an afternoon it’s important to check out at 5 and he said no problem at all right I’m going to go to bed then defend that Bastille and then he’s like that’s not far off I’ve actually studied the game Stratego which is for the face
order foliage are the worst episodes of Sliders
all my history knowledge comes from CW sci-fi original equipment back at what age did all the foreign policy on the go out there if what do you think Napoleon at Waterloo and what do you think the repercussions of that war of her friends they are you know I don’t think they should have gone of the water
the Cornwallis was out there right in boats I’ll quote with Churchill yeah he was training elated if it’s been quite a while and within Churchill speak softly and travel and time what was Winston Churchill’s lesser-known saying which turned out to be the real reason he has all the famous quotes
speak softly with it was from who Winston Winston Churchill pretends that that that have T I said that you mean Teddy Roosevelt another live again
Winston Churchill about wear all white I will be there like that. I was at his first of the walking race about the second one I didn’t why wasn’t all right socialism has gone up sleeves 911
I can’t control it sometimes it just as pleased you didn’t orchestrate 911 did you know I thought that was your blessing I thought you were giving us like someone yet but I will look at the Social Security fund a little bit that’s how you use your taxes will be on the lower or raise them I mean like like how much we only need $75,000 a year to be happy and then beyond that we’re already happy and it doesn’t it matter which people are happier than four people
but only if I watched every documentary on Netflix and then that’s it I have them print that out I have I don’t believe in you, like a little book that’s how I watch every program and then I have staffers read the part that they just they read them you don’t like it was sitting around contrite spirit.
I see you but you haven’t seen the one I’m talking about earlier obviously you would agree with this because there is a cap and absolute cap the amount of like wealth that by that actually does impact your emotional state and that Beyond a certain amount and it’s relative to what let’s say whatever you this this this study was done and in American dollars that equivalates is that a word to a $75,000 a year salary. You’re not going to be more money at some point you’re going to happy hour
right I bought here I took tell people how much money they should make I bought a copy of what you have not enough money for the commercial and the only appropriate amount of money to somebody should have Skype
by the way I want to point this out I’m looking forward to the general election I think that may versus Donald Trump is the best possible election you can have
we’re going to walk if we do it I want to have at least fourth of eight for the country and I also want to but we just
Arizona type breaker
that would be amazing
that’s what I have to play it by the way we’ve been sitting Texas as a side note I think of going for global warming I think my solution is I want to talk text it to go riding 4th
because all of us almost as sad as the distance of Tik-Tok me otherwise use Texas as a as a side so we can have a clear it out and then the rest of it’s just right for us
what block if we’re having an election in Queens Brooklyn election election it’s going to be at so needed a New York Bullocks I got to prep for the material
the company log Whiting hearts and George Festival breakdown but eventually get over yourself stuck in the middle of the East River
the D train just like the beach already bought that I played rugby I was really vicious or the front get on scrum is why did I better go on
you better go at 1. This was back when I was the University of Chicago
why does that make you laugh
because it’s actually true and I’m impressed with myself that I woke up in a crack in the big Haze of a kind of remember like that I like I like to eight year old okay so like this a thousand times already that those numbers are inflated the number of years I’ve got 25% of the 90% of what I just said but I go to Every a couple elections where I was so fucking like just just just over at that I didn’t vote and didn’t talk to anybody about it
vote is because I want to continue to have a political opinion and we have an entrenched thing and you can’t you’re not allowed to talk about breaking out of this the way that things work people are voting for voting for voting promoting promoting their voting for their voting for faith in the way the system has worked which is a system that 87% of everybody doesn’t believe in your all I sat down with Yoko Ono what she said the same thing as well as Dan right now if you if it’s election day was tomorrow who would you vote for would you vote and if so who I’m going to I’m going to I’m going to vote for Bernie Sanders and I wish that everybody that would have did what go to their conscience because I don’t think this is I think the problem and I think this is actually goes beyond like I feel like it goes beyond explain American politics and it really easy way with this is like
we are but but until that really becomes a definable real thing that fact is that we’re still rich and we’re still fine the way things are like like like a dead so we’re going to continue to kind of do this like like like like like you say the way we did it last time however I do think if I go for ice I want the concrete to be more like a public post that you see late at night death where there’s some sort of pyramid floating on a planet and a Skittle that is just full of ancient wisdom of the sky because I think that’s what I want to work for Bernie Bernie if you weren’t a candidate if I was you I would probably vote the Stevie Nicks
I’ll take a card for a woman president
and believe me believe me she knows how to elegantly get somebody out of the full game where they’ve had a little bit too much of the Barrow
thank you God for the people I predict a landslide
anyways I had to fuking had to it was like a fucking you handling that’s like that in LA Story with it when she has to like do the rest of shave-and-a-haircut inner tube it’s like a fucking dumbass Landslide Fleetwood Mac song guys like spare I want people like this style before go ahead for
there must be like some in the audience or something I think everything we have our elections every year there’s this principle that that keeps coming into into into the forest where people they they the idea of voting for past elections
I’m going to do I look look real rolled up our sleeves when having a little policy walk out let’s go for it they don’t want to vote that just to express as a natural part of the process they don’t want to just be a part of of a total tally and then we figured it like we all want to vote for the winner we don’t want to be part of the problem by voting for the wrong person I’m when we have third-party candidate to become a huge problem because not only do people not want to give up the wrong person but like I think you’re like an eighth Party candidate has the freedom side of the people we couldn’t get along with and I think I was running and it was like this
real problems yet at all so at all anybody wanted to talk about how fucking important was where this guy that guy got to liked it and it was like so fucking important to everybody and that’s what was the ZIP code
it was that Gore vs Palpatine it was important for so many so quickly on the political all the latest Trilogy of the Star Wars movie is a little warning from the Ralph Nader Campaign Headquarters where this is a guy who knew he was going to lose it was important for him to run it was important to the people that were supporting evidence that they was running around so Ralph he was Loki was really get rid of them
2 days before you guys delayed Election Commission
do you have to report
also whether it was Haley up or regular or some other sort of gas that might be poisonous or a rare case or an epic drops trying to help solve by the volume is coming out
when are the California I deliberately put volume more thank you refill like power that is salt water though we have we have a whole ocean of that rock bathing suits like Salt Lake baby but the guy at the guy on the floor at the route that the journalist like like like well in campaign because everyone was watching everybody that wanted either buscher Gore run against whom authoring camera they’re already going to see each other and a barnburner that’s not the right it was a motherfuking turtle fuck her vagina is like they’re they have there by 4 cated
when a very thin membrane
I put a pin in that
but they got there at 5. We’re here for the female turtles frankly but go ahead and let’s go and everyone was Dick like it was like this fucking crazy and then I guess this is before like like like like it was it was like weird that journalism was dead but it was like it was fucking crazy to me cuz they were like I said that’s what I miss my spirit really fucking died I didn’t vote for Ralph Nader but watching the coverage I was like is that they’re like well we now so that’s that’s the news from that bucking neck-and-neck race and well you keep hearing his name and he is of course the reason why this is that his neck and neck we now go to Nancy Johnson who is over at Ralph Nader headquarters head shake head shake head shake Nancy and Anne are as like as you cut a tendon and he’s like yeah yeah they’re thrilled down here
because all the unspoken thing that everyone was there that you voted for Nader you’re voting for the bush your vote of a of a big because he’s splitting about saying this isn’t that that’s not democracy that’s our beliefs but we should have a Scandinavian style system in a lot of ways I don’t leave the way we tax Corporation but also election multiple parties I want to have a Wikileaks party where you play are you bringing signs back and I want to make sure that we have a fantastic day if you want to vote for like like a nice little fishy I need breakfast bowl for it
fantastic breakfast in Scandinavia by the way to go with me
my heart
games you do a little girl a lot of dragon tattoos lately I will keep still keep that up for all the guys
parliamentary system
thank you yeah what about the idea that whenever we talk about the system being broken and how it’s not a true democracy then there’s people who say well it’s supposed to be a republic what does people mean do they mean they wanted to be a republic or do they mean that it works better as rude when people talk motherfuker
Republic republic mean for the people. What am I what am I what am I supposed to read the back of the old tile timing the dollar bill or something what are you a broadsheet from the days of what it what am I what am I wearing
printer if you if you could pick up a governmental system from anywhere throughout history what do you think would be the most just in the most simple I currently or like what we have now or something at any part of History call man let me tell you something let me tell you something about fiefdoms
play really you know they were going to see if they really did it they’re made it happen you know you had castles you had nights in shit there was surf’s it’s that’s all the things you want out of society are probably pretty happy but what you felt it gets out of order you lose a Lego here at their wit’s ugly then suddenly Wham Braveheart or worse it all like
I’m trying to remember my tenth grade history says like Holy Roman Empire and the headlight languages that break into feudal Europe is going anyway
I think after after the fall of Rome it went to the dark ages for a while didn’t know that’s what we think there was like I guess it would be weird to make people listen to all of us not know I thought maybe I think there is a danger that she has been made before that we are repeated get off the mistakes of the Roman Empire because the roads are leading somewhere for the back of a horse to do you got the email with multiple colors together
your mother your dad said it’s so make sure that we have enough solar powered stationary bicycles but at least have a little bit of like the Dark Ages get off with your plan for the dark just look have some Paragould to the drawer
make sure you got extra batteries or whatever just get opisafe
alright was it just divorced here and he made a stand you know we always expect them to be here at 8 again
hold on a second I need to talk with my campaign manager I know we had another event I was scheduled to go be interrupted by protesters when I agree with a completely let me see a real change
cars that I’ve gotten in the last 3 months before sure yes or yes I have I’ve never had the thought your master I didn’t like but you know I didn’t like the idea of a dog’s urine the hierarchical about your master that sounds too much like corporate I have played Maples that I became very attached to
melo’s I compared to whatever you wants I played look but here are there which one character if you had to choose a mythological character to do portray in a Fantasy Realm what what kind of character would it be look I think that I would be the but look I don’t want to say a troll but I don’t want to say that I would obstruct certain areas with powerful futile War for trying to cross the bridge of something that I would say hey stop but it would be more like you’ve got to look at the statistics and I would make sure they paid a fair shot at the Gator players that you sit in the future as it’s more of a kind of a dystopian kind of you know the 1984 Raven the world kind of thing like making a third of a molding every 10 seconds is
okay give me some salt water
hyperspace are controlled by the
country concert
punch it Chewie will take a scene from Star Wars and its subtitle Chuy’s growls with Bernie Sanders we will we will be tonight
if we do a light timing out the actual picture at the end of the first Star Wars episode 4 of the first one when they all get in there towards the end event that says the music is playing and then I’ll get up there and I can get this metal and they cut the chili different I’m playing but they cut the cut the chewy chewy…
is it is it is it to no pun intended of me to say when it was just as we need emergency or dental in it I know that I’ve been up and we don’t have an errand or two more than we do and just bring up her happy couple and have them play
are you guys have to sit on either you have to book and me and the senator
because because that’s part of the challenge of your new life together is that you have to be on Thomas as well it’s called interdependence as opposed to codependents
sorry and now are you guys going to stay in the house until I get it while until I get a full-time job at the the new station and then work there for a year or two and I’ll look around the country and yeah that’s cool what what is what is your Forte get the doors what are you doing what what local budgetary issues local interest budgetary Financial fiscal all of those killed or Sherry sports related angles I’m training to be a director a news director and record walking did you like Nightcrawler
I fucking love Nightcrawler
I thought that was such a fun character for watching it over and over again get try to get to the end again like how the movie kind of a whatever but like I really like that character
fair enough, and you’re like oh my God I love that Peter Rabbit title now and then I was on an airplane and I was trying to watch the pub crows movie with the robot with the get ahold of robots like oh yeah that I realized there’s a lot of a butt. Just tomorrow that one mine was a bit and they kept coming tomorrow to go Haley watch where I left off from and it’s impossible to rewind to the same place for your lunch again from because the whole movie if we wanted to get shit, like the president I will burn that movie and every copy of it
or at least I could do it again or at least just rewrite it or just make it make it out of it so that every time Tom Cruise wakes up on that pile of luggage he looks at the camera goes more times I would help me some numbers just to like you do an exit access access in a while I exercise put it in there
euclidean geometry what’s wrong with that where did we go so wrong do you like euclidean geometry Manor
I mean it’s proven
looks very good on fire with a fucking dumbass fun tonight don’t worry about it how old are you one of the few secrets that we have in the vault Secret Service let’s just say how old is 90% of the time you’ve been on this Earth 10% of the people that are still alive I’ve seen 5% of the people die this way would we look at when we look at how our depleted the resources on the planet and the resources they walk I go back to the partying
was still dinosaurs and that didn’t last and idea it was great all right I’m going to answer that question you had theirs good answers certainly you’re a good dancer thanks man that’s very nice quote reversal statements tonight I’m ready for any number of eventuality we have a guest who have a guest Shadowrun summarizer Jason climber or klemmer probably climber I don’t think we will find out
voting
the senator from his first question was are we voting
I do not think as soon as possible.
Coronavirus chart
but because I was looking directly we can’t play anything what was too much medieval stuff in it and we also can’t do it for more than 10 minutes technically according to our contract but a Red Roof services on the alarm 19 minutes from now we will play 4 minutes of gameplay also contracted a with him which I think is a great fucking idea I am supposed to say harmonquest coming soon to seed so it’s going to be a new thing and we’ll be so far right that you should come to Monday or Tuesday we still have empty seats yeah it would be great if I was going to say New Year but it’s not thank you really that I should but I’m not sure if I can
I’m always giving the money back and never really have a nice but I don’t know if I’m see so you see it so you like it you like it it’s not coming soon it’s going to be like a like a like a spring maybe or I probably come in and everything else does
duck down clap for the 30 29-28 27 I should have started at 10
5 4 3 2 1
clear all negative what is the 30-second countdown Kesha to playoff of the Wikipedia entry for the stair
yeah that that show needed that by the way you could just talk to her old Wikipedia page I don’t know why I’m in Wikipedia page but I did in there was one that had like a little bit and this is way back in the day like I did add to it I just like put like well so he cannot
I don’t know how adorable and I hadn’t done that much and learned my lesson hard because I didn’t even know as I know anyone can do this and they were there just like he wrote this I don’t think I don’t care who wrote it he doesn’t seem to be someone who mostly noes noteworthy people more than is noteworthy I concur with Zak song this bad should be sent to The Phantom Zone
is wrong I think Jimmy Wales has told box power and authority and I will promise to break up Wikipedia are running like a public utility I know you’re ready to go yeah yeah I’m going to be a criminal for some of the others all kinds of shit we can take quite a bit to the shades and I’m clean I just meant like a medieval for me
you going to buy pie for it
Trish we drag our field somewhere then are you so amused by the lake has to prove to the jury that but how many minutes during a game are you actually playing but America is like sitting in the car yeah wait a minute just take these guys so that we can stop playing the last thing I need is some dirt for Hillary to dig up she’s looking for something by contract contract agreement with our collaborators earlier said you were joking
wait what you guys talked of the same time as I hear from Papa I mean you just joking right now in contractual obligations to the basically the headline of it is that we’re not going to do shit on the podcast that’s going to like compete with what we’re trying to get people to tune into for harmonquest what did you and I know you’re having your first reaction to What will be a lifetime of making ridiculous contract is a good guy and everybody to see the show and be happy where you could claim for Bernie Sanders a spell called force majeure can you cast force majeure on that I think yeah yeah
because it was Chuck there was no we had to play I think I was in the eleventh hour I was like okay 10 minutes not DND meaning not like what you did not the milieu of so we couldn’t play for instance Stratego for 20 minutes either I do that
bull tonight for Woodhead for 9 they’re both gone
we could we could play Stratego okay cuz there’s the kind of look like by the are the most important services rendered for the show that we’re doing it’s the during the time that we wouldn’t want to do anything that would you know we’d intended although we’ve never played more than 3 minutes will I mean yeah but we’ve never had our hands tied oh I know I know it’s weird I know Walk That Walk
Ball Corporation what’s the worst they could do I think this could be at least take it all just leave back take a nice pill to something minutes. Just to see what the hell aren’t you going to now if I can taste that 10 minutes like Blake all Fifty Shades of Grey well I think that argument could have been made for all the other times you’ve tasted 10 minutes so Shadowrun know your name you give me you’re talking from a logical place and I’m talking from a sexy place that’s all I got all of that energy that you were spending logically analyzing the idea of a contract forbidding you from doing what you want is actually a form of you expressing I want to play shadow run out of you if we had that for 10 minutes I mean that I have that every do you watch me baby okay and I’m 49
Island state senator sitting currently serving should be involved with these deliberations I say what you about to do right now as a plug for RC so think this is like if you if you like what we’re doing here you’re going to see a better version animated on seesaw doesn’t have the bullshit like fuk around the time we were supposed to the high-quality high-budget thing that we’re doing for disagree with that you guys know that when you were there 100 go back and forth is literally two people one from each side who have absolutely no familiarity with anything any of us 2
all right again by Jason climber last town on Harman run the gang taking an unusual Heist of antique MP3’s decided that the easiest way to open a musical lock was to visit a conservatory run by creepy children being perfect pitch the game did a lot of back-and-forth in Judah at night blaydes alcoholism in Eve’s rampant banana now and then arrived in a public storage facility receptionist crawling under the counter so the crew killed the Curious Creighton Porta Garden Dr friend thought about the morality while the Norwegian dwarf tried to ascertain the locations of the Sade song as an afterthought they remembered hat guy who probably could have bypassed both the musicians in the murder
successfully pull off a clean Shadowrun is there no limit to the number of mirka murders hack I can cover up what kind of post
academy doesn’t charge tuition find out on this week’s carbon run Shadow Town time Town time thank you
just an answer to that person’s question there is a limit on the number of murders I can cover up within 10 minutes and can’t be done by a sword or spell
you’re not hack I can you find out when we needed to make this you can you find out where the MP3 storage unit is no no I cannot there’s no records of that sort of thing people just kind of walk in store their things and leave without any you know documents or anyting you don’t store at the front like desk here that I wouldn’t know who was being stored where in which is the whole point of these locations how many storage units are there in this facility no man will meet let me look this up to 250
infrastructural area according to Federal with the federal guidelines at the talking without the usual Bruce Willis pascoa sometimes use it electronically right like they’re storing things physically but they’re also logging in logging out maybe sometimes it there is it does this company have you know like Coldwell Banker does like just a fucking website where you have an account no no I mean they have they have they have accounts with people who are giving the money but that’s really all they have in terms of records are they got dependently audited outside 27 they have a council people that are giving the money I’m not asking you if they have
list of its contents of the storage so they have they have they have an accounting system they have a database full of people’s names that that they give the money in exchange for their services so maybe there’s something to go with their right am I right I’m just an assassin you guys figure it out I made it is there a way to use was that that musical likes it and let that technology we have just like walked by it all the things and sing to the to the MP3 locks or something like that or is that a crazy you’re the worst Shadowrun I don’t know alright well I guess that’s what I’m doing can I ask why you wouldn’t eat me when you’re in astral form you wouldn’t really be able to tell just physical 9 non-living objects they just all kind of look like gray blobs in the shadows
Bob in the conservatory with the alarm clock no no no just the first word you saw when you what’s the I mean what does Oregon have any powers that could facilitate his hair look like a kitty bottle rally a popular basketball player people
he doesn’t break down the power structure has that power
okay so what I would go to jail go directly to jail when I would be looking at if I were a cop and I used to be back story is I would be looking at a time line I would be looking at whatever you whatever you do know and then and then like like to pinpoint a time when somebody would have been storing a bunch of MP3s as opposed to when can we isolate like a forensic Lee identifiable activity that would be able to be seen on the computer like oh I started my account and then I dumped a bunch of shit in in the storage unit and then I then it’s like like whose account hasn’t been active since Genesis Jamaican look if they wanted the illustration all the computer screen
photographic. I’ll fall back I was just have a lower IQ than happy with just like we would go a cocaine is a dead person when did they die and then there were certain people who because they were at work when that person died they didn’t do it and then other people like we really want to say where they were so they might have done it and then we just put the black guy in jail
I believe that you should have to answer for that as well body cameras but yes
it was there a question there
it was a textbook. It wasn’t for you is for my pillows is there a way we can figure out how can we use me and we were talking like their accounting systems they can you turn that until like actually did you sing any to eliminating any just the fact that a one-armed guy killed his wife and they are in a hospital database and he was like he narrowed it down to like prosthesis inside either he knew and she didn’t know and then he figured it out I’m too stupid to do that stuff but I know how he did it he knew stuff and then he used it to know more stuff I had the lower part where he shaves in the sink and then goes off when I go to do the park where you’re up for the soul thing and they go oh by the way I didn’t do it they would have to go all right
stop everything
your options are one jumping over Niagara Falls or to get a shot I don’t think I feel like at that point you’re supposed to just put your gun I care right little curly fuel for about four hundred feet to get done
all right well I guess when I give up I mean if your at your at your at your that was easy
thank you
you’re that you’re like the face lady like you you’re the one who gets the job in condos in the buildings in Florida guard you’re you’re being played by a character and Pat Pat yours I’m just a doctor ear doctor I mean when I’m the brains of the operation were plucked I’m I’m I’m I’m I’m I’m Dan Harmon’s and Brittany Bruce Willis is it was a hank who wanted the MP3 we don’t know when that stuff was was taken and put in that start with he know the date that maybe that was put into storage and now he’s just heard stories about this Vault the Vault I mean it’s a storage vault
well that’s a coincidence its cricket season this is a great podcast.
Scientifically cigarettes really like Showbiz some of our best shows happened during Cricket mating season you can look it up
yeah that’s something you could attempt okay
cricket and the Crickets going to go from room to room at light speeds are very this faster than Cricket speed and and go from roof to call Zach about that pork supposed to get all truck.
magical music crickets go search the exertion of your magical music Cricket makes you take three drain damage is it conjures itself into existence during in the in in and out of reality of everything
I mean it’s all just to clarify I’m still ahead that Iowa and New Hampshire and about to pull even in South Carolina for the Crickets report I just even even though I have the IQ of Sam Malone from cheers I go I got to go over to the console or the guy that works there works and I just I just I just started hitting buttons like nothing nothing nothing that looks like a red button that says police above it but just buttons like w
or like enter or function you do that
let’s just those aren’t command so it’s not okay that I covered the help of a piece of paper in and then I just make sure the little test like puff puff pass pass test want to throw and then I start typing a small short message that says hey hey let them open up the door all the way or open
yes you do that
but you don’t have any ideas to do you even libertine I mean you’re not you’re not you’re not suffering in silence right you’re just kind of like more accurate on your mind
I’m not really sure oh to just suffer in silence and suffering
and Beyond
I just meant you’re not like you’re not like me or not like being polite by not you know you don’t you don’t have you don’t know how to search a storage unit I mean
that’s what I
call Bob don’t. I mean come on
yeah I’m a while I bet Jeff part part of her job is to objectify her gender mean
you want me to like a baby make some small talk with you a back rub I mean I take a nap in a poker game in this world like the one of the options with an educated woman has itchy for that’s cool you got it buddy
Cricket back to see if as my Cricket has been found any information it says oh man I found so many peanuts
if I asked you to look for mp3 is not peanut oyeyeah I just found Frankie Franks greatest hits you can you got me on your come yeah you do you like Frankie Franks Greatest Hits no that’s
I mean I don’t want to be always this guy but maybe it’s a dumb mission maybe it’s maybe it was maybe when you got made up during a drunken blackout we had and it’s not wrong baby to pull back and concentrate on the whole country
don’t blame the mission
right but why me why not blaming the mission saying like what we’re clearly incapable of accomplishing the day with you how many I know that there’s a way of knowing with pack guys information how many storage units 250 250 all right so a cricket crawls a maximum of 3 ft per minute I don’t think everyone’s responses that was the most controversial thing I’ve ever said that they really is but I know I’ve looked at how many rooms are there at the University about 15 minutes
you don’t know
what is a cricket you sent him out you brought him back he said he found myself more can I summon three more crickets and the speed on this one Cricket into every single room at that will probably drain me to death yeah probably know we haven’t played shit we haven’t even done anything I walk up to one of the storage lockers and I take my gun and I shoot at the the the the lock the lock yes thank you you shoot the lock off the storage container and the roller door rolls up
we got 249 more
MP3 isn’t there you look around you see Stacks up on stack Savannah randack chairs
all right
what’s a cat and Hannah are newly engaged newly affianced just be loving you New Hampshire right
thank you senator
can I please have a huge round of applause for Senator Bernie Sanders feel the bird that’s played by James and tell me and everybody the wonderful fantastic James Adomian
Spencer Crittenden
I’m Jeff Davis you’re mayor but your dad Herman
Justin Gaston producing all Farrell audio podcast bringing them to you with his weird pirate shirt
jaw grinding and emotional. I was finish the sentence I started 10 minutes ago