Episode
Episode: 201 – Black Woman Against Over Here
Description
Spencer comptrolls, Dino stops by and it’s hot as absolute Hell. Watch the video at harmontown.com/live! Become a member and help grow the show!
Transcript
all right
from
Milk Studios harmontown is now in session thank you thank you I am yours comptroller Spencer Crittenden
thank you thank you you’re too kind of very kind but please give it up to the person you’re really here Dusty
harmontown mr.
Discount trailer hitch with that everybody yeah
yeah man it’s a beer but yeah I was it’s fucking hot man I was going to the thing about controlling that people don’t know is he got to wear a suit to do it that’s we have a lot of guests and they don’t get that memo or whatever but you got to wear a suit and I would have won but I would have been a motherfuker know you got you got
where is suit to be the Comptroller like I wrote five minutes of material about the suit I was planning to wear you know but did you actually put it on and then go taking this off no I mean I was running around find an air conditioner all day and then I had to clean up my area to put an air conditioner into place and then by then I was sweating so hard I was like you know like like oh yeah 201st episode Herman thanks for dressing up
no
it would have made sense if I was wearing a suit a lot of his stuff was in the movie where a new here I’m not being aloof when I’m looking I’m not texting I’m looking these are my notes it’s 201 so I got it we were talking about the concept of The Prestige video game which I’ve only learned through incremental clickers my favorite game currently is cookie collector 2 you can laugh all you want but the truth is all of you are just collecting cookies in real life
the second one really improves on a lot of shortfalls in the first one right
there’s a million of them immediately present I meant to tell you that I liked every. Is within one in every other. You know what you know what’s creative you know what’s ironic Brave heroic saying I play cookie collector 2 and spitting on you sorry sorry
but I was just for the people at home for the listeners at home prestiging is when you roll over your levels to start over in a in a better way you’re kind of reborn reborn in yourself is that a word reborning your prestiging you’re starting that’s what we’re doing it’s not that he will never leave cuz the Jason Bourne movies coming out next when is it isn’t this one just called like Jason Bourne’s real dichotomies a board and a eulogy either board the board the board enact ology
cuz one of them was just like Jeremy Renner it was like the boring brother bornemann apprenticeship
oh Stewie
but you can’t even
entering a room
you can’t even leave me like lilac eyes with a beautiful International Diplomat and explain to her that you’re so powerful you don’t know why you could tip so much ass
you can’t do that but I can try bornemann I’m a little high and I promise you your money’s worth for Prestige I mean Physicians this is a real unprecedented movement and podcasting history like there’s plenty of episodes but this isn’t going to be 201 this is going to be harmontown Prestige episode 1 right you think we’re finished we’re prestiging clicker like cookie collector 2 prestiging means that you get to start over as if you’re playing the game for the first time however you have bonuses from muffins cupcakes in the podcast world you get to start over and delete all of your bad iTunes reviews it’s all just fight in Resident Evil 1 on Playstation 1 prestiging was you finished all of Resident Evil and you got to Play It Again
launcher that was I think it was like the original kind of prestige culture plus if we were with the age-old rule if I could improve myself selfish beat the game I think is a good person or a bad person if you were going to prestige as Spencer I guess maybe relative to the podcast that’s so it says relatable like you know like the picture that is the character on harmontown if that character was going to prestige like out of selfishness what what would prestiging involve my position would I be promoted to like comptroller from here on out
feel like going forward I just be the co-host yeah
what Jeff move over there or was he just like what you just vanish Prestige to like club promoter sometimes
Jeff is like standing in the back and I like where we’re at Jeff’s place instead of alcohol is giving a thumbs up for the bag and you’d comes up he tells people like not to use Flash photography here’s the thing though there’s a new movie out that I haven’t seen
it’s a sequel to a movie called Now You See Me
correct
well okay let’s go there first then which is by the way your title the whole point of it is that it’s the first part of a two-part thing. I guarantee you nobody that wrote that movie let alone that title thought they were ever going to be doing a sequel to the guy coming in early there’s no sarcasm check box on an Apple TV and your movies I hit
so now they want a second one and there’s like nine people because how how could that movie be written by fewer people have you seen that fucking moving I’m not angry I am excited that I I just watch it with Cody I was so excited that you haven’t seen it I was walking and Canada the movie theater in the on the Marquis I saw the words Now You See Me 2 in the number to my I swear to God I’m not being David Spade about this my actual fucking first instinct was oh so much about that movie it’s Canadian and they show it here in the next showing is at 2
I swear to Christ above that was what I thought because I expected a sequel to that movie was that impossible both in terms of demand and supply
find me movie
why didn’t you do
I didn’t know what I was doing and I would say what can we start over I have all kinds of ideas they told me magicians
I’m talented I just saw what I did
in the context in which you can trick people into thinking they’re cool headed always a trick to think there cool you go down there and I forgot what I was
which I re-watch the last night and I think I honestly think knock it off this movie holyfuck Man Now You See Me 1
all right as well
well now that you know
your vote
I’m selected in the Now You See Me franchise and watch it I made the mistake of being one of the dollars that apparently funded the sequel I I didn’t mean to do that I like they need a check box that says I’m kidding but was we were kidding when we watched the first one we were kidding like if you could give someone a page view or you don’t give someone a page boo boo you’re checking out like a click bait thing that be great you know the best of both worlds
cuz nobody’s there selves if you could go into the internet there was a Lobby in your like my name is Carl Johnson
did you go I’m going to go talk about pedophilia now mask and then you go through a tube and then like everyone’s like those ears kid fucker 29 but it’s a damn you’re like that to me I’m saying the internet we should do that but you should always have to come back and look at yourself in a virtual mirror before you leave the internet I’m pitching AOL
you got mail a good look at yourself.
Invited you
your mail what it’s just because you can talk about male doesn’t mean you’re sentient you’ve got the love to learn as long as you can
you got a point
knife stabbing me
that’d be great
so have you seen the trailer for this new head and now you’ve done it now You Now You See Me 2 now you don’t what is going to be but it was just like they’re like
Cloverfield Lane like they were just like now you P-Series it’s not about the people in there trying to get into a good movie motherfuker you fucking jaded piece of shit fucking now you was in session now you against a shark monster did you see the most recent movie did you see the union Wish Upon a Star
sweet sweet I love do now you didn’t there’s a lawsuit pending like those people actually don’t represent the nephew franchise the trailers problematic though because like a wizard movie about all these Wizards and Sorcerers you know and they’re like you know you got Mark Zuckerberg and he liked the Storm cards and then you have like I don’t know Morgan Freeman and you like a card and puts it through a guy’s skull and stuff and then you got a guy who disappears and reappears inside of a bank vault and then you got Lizzy Caplan who takes her bra without taking off her top
five types of magician from with the spoon bending pickpocket Kart Racing type played by one of the Franco’s he’s a mentalist like I didn’t here comes the lady magician I know writers were like like David Copperfield
she’s a lady magician but she’s awesome at lady magician I just died
often times a lady is a magician’s assistant
Tom giant Tom are you sitting in the corner like really like talking in his slightly Urban Patois
that’s right
just watching y’all try to figure out this story seems to me magicians come with femininity is just compartmentalised in the form of their subjective viable objectify of all the system
he’s right Isla Fisher should play a new kind of magician she used to be Zuckerberg the sister now she takes her to drop hitch with water
all right anyway with that I’m going to have your mind blown. I shouldn’t have I spent too much time talking about it
I’m sorry I’m sorry look there’s lots of stuff to talk about I want to tell you about a me handling myself pretty well against a person in a in a bar oh yeah oh yeah
such a good time to bring out my friend Dino stama topple this is an hour
hi Daddy knows he remind me to talk about my new condom idea going to blow Minds why why me cuz you know I’m a pervert you’re you’re my you’re my angel investor
what’s your kind of my DS Spencer okay so think about condoms now forget everything you ever knew about. That’s that’s my first problem I never remember kind of rash never forget so I mean
you just keep your socks stop it stop it
it’s like a stock the only thing that’s keeping it kind is like friction and like West elasticity so but then to do that it has to be shoved all the way down okay so imagine if you will a shortened condom that’s more like a head cap right and then at the end is a rubber band that goes behind your balls
the most fierce still has that exposure it’s not covered but the tension of those rubber band pulling your balls towards the foot that’s keep it on I love it I do that anyway
nothing like a nice tights and a ball that’s why I wanted you out here
my answer I’m sure it’s different for you is the depending on the excitement level of the woman and my age I have a hard enough time getting this little fucker anywhere yeah but it would be
Taylor is going to fall off of that proudly I don’t mean that I mean I mean I’m I’m self shaming
because apparently you
your balls and this was this would help I mean that I mean that your balls would be like fucking Dolly Parton balls with a cock right now because it makes your dick look small
only that happens in cartoons as when there’s a buildup will the new episode of a hose into work so you could go and eat like five feet of any directions you would you define Stardust
who is it I mean I don’t like my therapist says then you shouldn’t stay hard
sex is a destination not an event or your therapist said distinction mcmeen it means that you’re joining with someone going somewhere together
and not a destination because of the it’s not the destination it’s the journey but that’s basically that’s what that’s what these people are saying we could you can but you can’t apply that to sex and say it’s not the sex destination it’s the sex Journey it that they’ve already heard that it’s a like it’s more powerful to say sex isn’t the thing that starts to happen and then at some point stopped happening it’s not like a sing that you need to accomplish because of that starts to set into a syndrome do what’s good about it then what’s good about what sex sex because it feels good it’s all about blowing your load on someone
but don’t make that Seagal or you may never will then what is the go I’m not making my Sarah pissed point I will have like sexual dysfunction sexual pressure things that are happening with like you you’re like oh I know it’s like having a bad day
what is going to be great I can have like a wig free if it works I’ve never ridden this green
alright so Right Now You See Me 2
does it mostly right
the bad title do you have music
most of my stories
about what a failure I am going to be wouldn’t be controlling if I wasn’t just messing stuff up over here
anyways this is Keto
like when Jeff Davis tells a story it’s like like we were celebrated he goes like I wouldn’t got a brownie yesterday at brownie store did you hear about this price I went and I looked at the brownies at there’s like nine kinds of brownie and I said do you have a shuttle at extreme and the story ends with somebody invariably as we pointed out grabbing his arm in the service industry or a rock band and saying thank you
so looks like you for wanting for ordering that thank you
where we just we didn’t start the bar so anyways in a bad person I think this story is I’m kind of a I’m kind of a badass of an amazing person on it is here we went into a bar
and there was nobody in it but one guy we are tender and the bartender so we walked in and it was dark and quiet and there was nice music playing on either the Jukebox or what-have-you but in any case there was baseball on the TV and there was one guy sitting there was just so and then the baseball was I sat in the stools with Dino the middle Thing by attempting okay great. Thinking about that guy gets up and he leaves there’s money on the bar this drink at the bar I’m not sure if he’s left or not I say to the bartender
hey do you know if that guy is invested in the audio of the baseball broadcast I don’t want to be busy you just need to hear the baseball because I would love to you want me to mute the baseball I want you to mute the baseball is that guy unless that guy want loves the baseball sounds
I think he left
cuz I’m going to repeat that I think he left cuz it kind of an important over-explaining if you’re making fun of me a little gear Gear guide gear over you’re over fucking doing a h n n n n n yeah you’ll understand sooner or later and then this guy is like like I was just I just wanted this guy to understand being entitled to fucking control over the sensory environments out of this bar
yeah you’re going beyond the Call of Duty and he left and I was like then my blue sky would be no baseball audio he’s not embellishing this in an entrance in just this and I can do whatever the baseball experience for 4 minutes and 17 seconds version of life I still feel entitled to somehow being just a fucking I’m talking about work with Dino and end so at some point during that all of a sudden that I was like what does a jukebox and all of a sudden you touch crunches the fact that the the the the baseball audio is back out so you noticed this I didn’t
the guy never came back the other guy he was gone so it’s me Gino and the bartender the bartender is seated three feet from of the TV at the end of the bar I was watching it now he’s watching it with audio which is changed since that weird labyrinths in conversation the headlight of which I’d like to Define as this mother fucker Dan Harmon gives massive ships about the people around him to the point where he doesn’t want to make a fucking move until he’s got the all-clear is going on why is he watching he knew so the thing in my head is this guy
he believes at this point I’m really ashamed of loving baseball audio he’s gone he’s gone he’s gone in the back room and listening to me because this guy like he he says I’m a skit I can remember that conversation we had a million chances for him to say well I’ll tell you what I work here and I know you think the laws of economy should apply
call convenient for you but the truth is this is my corner of the world that I love baseball and that there’s the most important game that’s ever been played specifically because the players make strange sounds and the other the sportscasters are Howard cosell’s come out of the grave and he’s like doing this when I need to hear the fucking sounds any of that and that I would go well that’s good information I’m glad we now know we can go to a different bar
so I was sitting there resent I was going like to see that guy, come on I mean like what we have the whole conversation is like and then he comes back out I’m hearing him but I haven’t noticed baseball’s up so I’m like
alright so I didn’t end in the guys like sitting there and it’s like the dino keep talking and I’m like I can’t hear anything but the fucking TV and so I do this weird like a six-year-old would do it doesn’t know why I’m doing this but I am still bottle and I just lock eyes with the amps and I just start to do my impression of the The Sounds coming from the TV really loudly I mean really loudly meaning I was matching the odd that I wanted to stimulate well if that be in the bar then the chair over here then that’s this is what that would sound like
there’s like a like a like a Arby’s commercial like 7 minutes a corporate fucking propaganda don’t tell me you can hang out in a bar and keep to your fucking ideological guns in your Jerry Springer and Carl’s jr. commercial kill yourself
what is a fast one on me what’s going on at the baseball audio would be at the church now blaring it and I’m doing the opposite in Dino is going like 2 minutes and like a fucking it wasn’t for you to understand what you’re reading this in in in iMovie you would not there wouldn’t be any space between those lines of dialogue when you’re really really mad at
you’re really ready to go like I did too I’m not I just want to make it clear like that’s how traumatic that was it’s like I said what the fuck is my height of shame because I was like throwing this little tantrum doing this thing as I was kind of like that was me telling her what to do anymore I don’t know who knows what I would have done but I was being a baby and I was feeling like a baby and and I got the height of me doing that though the crazy thing is I go I go what the fuck am I listening to what the fuck am I listening to silence look over at the six-foot-five beefy armed if I can bespectacled but in a way that makes you think maybe he just needs murder Vision like it not a guy you did not view it as a bouncer I would not question. Just like like good guide intimidated by everybody but they definitely could have killed me but in in Indiana
it would look at him and he goes like
bulshit
let’s go have an app cigarettes
what’s back story and be watching broadcast Chase needs to be a Blu-ray collector like he’s as a character I was talking about your deal you got this deal in that deal laughing
the guy was like I felt bullied and so on out gives easy to like I’m now I’m the bully but it’s like I didn’t feel that way I felt like 100 dogs I was like
Wow and Silent empty bar and then I said
am I going to repeat it I got to think of what it was exactly the time and energy it takes to make you honest right
and all you did was look down and you didn’t say another word and we got up and we can put down a tip $30 which is iodide I sat there and I planted my feet drink to the bottom of the glass
did the glass of the bar like that I felt like Jeff was on my shoulder guy that was beautiful and thank you
anyways bullies am I right people
I’m a bartender side you know yours
we didn’t ask him to just turn the sound down we said we want to hear the music yeah by the way you better be the best fucking bartender in the world and that includes not judging the fucking racist sexist rapist yeah because you’re supposed to be impartial but you’re supposed to keep your fucking lips zipped and I like like you’re supposed to be an objective strange like a crooked lake house to the broken have anybody but I don’t mention Netflix on my fucking I’m working on the weekend
I need your danger Street Hack fine
if you’re cool to me
I love baseball so much do we change your mind
you should re-examine your life
you were that bartender that you would have turned on the baseball audio I was just saying if I were that guy and I turned up the baseball in front of him I was
we will do with me being loud obnoxious nerdy like totally out of line
about that stuff are insufferable he probably has to put up with shit like that from actual just act like a Time
play bartender
Ninja Turtle
that guy that guy would be in Ireland just screaming like a quick talk about call my name
your fucking deal with it here in La this is what we talked about if I’m lucky guy’s salary with my Sunday I was working I don’t want to talk about the industry play this rant against blue-collar people is really turn me around on your side
no it’s not it’s not a red because blue-collar people upset with the lift shit he was used during his guess is that baseball up in a passive-aggressive each other the wrong way and then you both got you do I have the white Jesus Christ
I admit that but I still think I’m the hero of that story
but it doesn’t matter cuz my next topic is and here comes a segment called the things you’ll never hear talked about on any other podcast colon Donald Trump Edition
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
they are in the world
World War 1 totally effective like 30 years of literature which means it is possible the national psyche to be affected by a huge catastrophic event and it’s seeping into us but I found the silver lining of a time but I’m coming through for better for worse
do the Donald Trump phenomenon is now it’s it’s bringing me through its releasing me from my need for approval it’s separating the different for doing that for a lot of people I wish I was sleep white supremacist and a lot of people I was I was I was absolutely correct but but but hopefully for me that’s a better thing than through with a skinhead feel that way but that is exactly what’s happening is it yeah there is people are Uncorked but it’s like like how much of you is performance and how much of you is intense independent and behavior as those two things being a unbraided because it’s like it’s like like like there was a time when it was like I was like obsessed with the fact that like oh what’s this politically correct do you mean if you never say something racist that means you’re a Flawless person because this president has never said anything racist and he’s a terrible terrible person
terrible things that cost you in life that was my whole game and then you go into the new generation where it becomes but now now the weird thing is this guy is like I mean he’s as famous as you can ever get ever he’s as close to whatever fucking definition we have of winning the American game is like we’ve is far as we’ve defined it he end and he just keeps and so it’s like there’s a point where I would like to get this bottom of a podcast last week has kind of feeling this way then was like how am I supposed to I am I even fucking trying to be a good person what is it represents the lake lake lake because it on the on the lower class level that that takes the form of the fucking Clockwork Orange gangs running to the street I’ll be like
so it’s weird weird but honestly you’re black and I’m stopping on you and envy and said that that of the upper classes there would be a similar thing to take the 4 headed somewhere in the middle of his me going like oh fuck I don’t have a conscience anymore but that the that led to OSHA it but okay know what that means is you don’t you have to stop basing it on on outcome you have to stop basing it on opinion on whether or not it is going to make people like you or hate you because it. That doesn’t matter and that’s a good thing to learn because that actually means that you you could like I think a lot of us want to say things that were worried about
no I’m not, I’m so I thought if I hit a hand
oh boy
then you guys are in the Blast Zone
yay that was a success that just got alcohol over the floor that’s what a success is thank you honey I’m trying to rekindle correctness can cause problems because if people that are only a little racist or like if I’m going to be treated like I’m a Nazi every time I say something kind of off-color then what’s the point of even trying why don’t I just go whole-hog the other way whereas if we kind of approach with sensitivity and be like hey man I get what you’re saying I’m not trying to attack you but the end result of what you’re saying you can lie down this path and that’s why I might be good to you know if the enemy is ignorance for instance you know like like like then to the way to defeat and rinses the like is not is not till I can hit it on the head with a brick house early cuz I don’t know where this crazy article about a guy unpleasant enough to get you high
this sounds a bit uncomfortable like I just had nothing to say and I mean I think you really you used what you had this all I got you got what’s going on baby I’m forcing a. Connect Air but it’s not it does exist anyway which is another topical horrible weird random thing which represents just ran the pass was was that that actor today that died like in the crazy way and everybody just wanted to know what the hell is going on and it was kind of like a great metaphorical like I was like when people get sick and we associate that with death and stuff there’s not enough like lightning strikes in like crazy things to really like cast death and it’s like direct like the boy that people dealt with it and watching out of the guy had to go to like the the TMZ article about this death and then just the the comment section like just just Star Trek
Star Trek playing at the Star Trek punch like I mean like as if like like it like you can tell that the joke is like like I’m not here to generate Schumer I’m here as a punchline to this crazy setup that exists called sucked up Society that’s so fucking play like to be needed if Society is truly fucked up like and then everybody wants to be that guy but almost nobody saying like what a bummer to say that but it is it’s like this Carnival like you don’t there’s none of those people everyone just you go into the toilet and you put on these weird bird masks and you do this fuckedupshit and it’s a it’s like it’s like The Purge series
everybody’s life because those movies are good that they keep making him I think everyone’s like tell me more about that absolute thinly veiled metaphor for for my life where I ate that plus Trump equals not nihilism it equals renewed realization that
being cool absolutely can only be by your own definitions the other ones don’t work at all for anyone and that you better like make every day of of of achieving that goal worth as much as the final one because a bus might fall out of the sky and land on the building are in the way that guy died you know it’s not enough ways that I’m afraid of dying you know I mean like when you park your car you’re done made it safe
this guy got hit by a parked car
what is it
yeah what happened well he thought it was part it’s not what it sounded like I mean I don’t want to ask it what it sounds like the only logical Occam’s razor says that he has a steep driveway he he that he got out of his car to check his mail and I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t I mean I didn’t want to I didn’t want to talk about this
Stephen Stephen King’s cell
there’s a movie you can get on your Apple TV Stephen King’s cell c e l l don’t mistake it for the Jennifer Lopez cell
this is Stephen King’s cell you can remember it because it has Stephen King’s before it
which means so much
the stamp of quality like none other
what does how do you ever has he ever what is the what happens before someone says Stephen King’s claiming man has no way why are people still it doesn’t mean they need it needs bad Stephen King’s The he did it the means he did it
what does it even mean it being spooky spooky spooky another pin on the stash something means that there’s going to be a geopolitical strife and technological porn
what are you doing I give I see him Rodger Avery this is Rodger Avery I think I’m an actor
I thought Stephen King took a picture of George RR Martin alvia I was like I hope he teaches them how to write stuff quickly
you know
do them know you got jokes. Jokes
anyways Stephen King’s cell
if you get a chance to watch it is a is the most exciting first 15 minutes I think of a of a of a movie this cheap that you’ll ever see John Cusack’s I got an airport and then it like you know Stephen King’s America’s dad so like he’s like he’s making a point about or not make an appointment just saying like there’s a lot of cell phones
at what at what if what if you know it’s like that everywhere you go there’s no cell phone and turning that into horror so it’s an airport in like everyone who’s on a cell phone at a specific moment they all like go
are they all scratched up and I like my dad must have been the most expensive thing about the movie like just they’re just like like like it was a movie that starts in an airport with everyone’s starting to freak out really like like like like but anyways I’m not I’m not here to shill for a Stephen King self I just want to tell you that eventually without any ceremony at all at some point because it becomes about avoiding these people who who are got too close to a cell signal they start calling them phoners I just wanted to tell you that they expect you to stay on the edge of your seat I thought this phone is so many Founders over there
they were so happy with that term when they get my folders where did we have a phone
I don’t know motherfuker that Sam Jackson has to me
in that room there was a there was another weird or it’s great that’s not weird but it was weirdly not weird Sam Jackson’s character appears in the very beginning to offhandedly mention totally indirectly something that clearly indicates that he’s gay but I never comes up again
weird because it’s John Cusack and see if Jackson walking through a Subway tunnel that exam Jackson’s character goes like alone and that’s the last thing you ever hear about it ever there’s no there’s no like like he’s holding him up from a pit full of phoners because I use you
there’s nothing are there and there’s no like sorry I misjudged you nothing it’s just it’s just but it’s like a dime to me because it shouldn’t be noteworthy and it seems like he’s doing this thing where he’s just making choices and just sticking with or you talking about I had a weird list for something in a movie but yeah they distinguish Clifton is the me like Samuel Jackson is just the some kind of Intergalactic lottery winner who like is enough and I’m not saying that I just mean like the with the with the where he is when he is there just seems like he won a contest like he’s just getting a VIP tour of a life as I want to be in Star Wars
I’m a Jedi. Man you’re going to be an Avenger
James grage what do I got to ask her I don’t I don’t have zero I have no idea but he’s he’s like drifting through these like a bonnet character he’s just having fun
please add a little shity movie there snakes on the plane I don’t have to tell you what he’s done if you were going to if you were an alien species and you wanted to ride a human actors through Earth would you choose Richard Dreyfuss
it’s like a what is just like that’s like going to the pyramids and taking a picture like all he was in Jaws
I agree I’m just trying to think up here
well I don’t know why I am seeking your guys approval there’s an orange fascist running for president
openly fascist absolutely openly fascist about revoking the Washington post’s credentials because he doesn’t like their lies I’ve looked like there was a Washington Post article right before that that happened it was like this is a transcript of us talking to Donald Trump like obviously what are we have to do to just stop being told we’re lying or miserable
this dumb when you came to our office to talk to us about dumb we are we we is your soul transcript what do you want from us
Donald Trump bad guy
it’s a bad day to be an alligator
you know yeah man it’s no good if it’s bad then right after they found that like giant fucking alligator on that Golf Course to right you know that’s a bummer
I’ll be fine I don’t know man I’m worried about the offended by the alligator coverage I feel like it’s could we ever and any point say Corporate America is unaccountable but I feel like that may be 10 points for being technically right thing I thought I saw you just keep us coverage of it I’m sorry that I that I have encountered I haven’t been by the way G’s moment of silence for a victim.
alligators side of it sometimes kids just look delicious careless family in the world I thought I’d like that’s ridiculous you selling people say we’re sorry one of our alligators eat
sorry it seems like one of our alligators 8U
tomorrow is going to be double pumped up pumped I’m so sorry about the alligator the happiest place on Earth just got to be some unhappiness running like rivulets down the gutters outside and into the giant generator that runs on mostly Arab blood but some of your
yours every once in awhile
owner of Flint Michigan’s doing
I really fell off when Trump started gaining steam people stop caring about those no-good was a little water that I just poisoned all the natural gas was coming up or was that where was that
hello real Annie
documentary
that’s the information I’ve been going on but I’m going to be like I know all about flip from Rodger and me cuz I’m
add water to the Flint River and see if there is a product of corrosion and pipes were lead pipes and the water was over a flight which is like 90% all sewn on children
I’ve been like lead poisoning for like 2 years or something and they’re like about all the Alligators everybody here did but I worry about the podcast like like like like hearing them look up Flint Michigan
he didn’t hear what happened
they did something to the pipes and because the pipes were not maintained at least let into the pipes poison the water in the water because it saves money
who sings crazy that’s going to cost a hundred bucks to haul all this poison out of here
why would my new character let’s have Americans and talk to Tom was a giant sorry I was in the the picture room for for Now You See Me
magicians have sexy ladies around them sometimes
maybe I’ll officially scared to is it a escape artist
before the Escape she takes off her clothes
time you’re a genius Classic this is the musical score for Now You See Me one I haven’t seen to
for an hour
I’m saying was I’m telling you this I’m saying watch it I’m telling you to watch it I’m not telling you don’t watch it I’m telling you you got to see this movie also when they when they introduce the magicians that means you said that the woman was just sexual or whatever but a decrease in like the level of magic from the beginning like first it was what’s his name he said pick a card and then the card was on a skyscraper you talk about Now You See Me 1 I have a story that’s memorized. But one of the Franco’s is in it and he’s on a boat and this is one of the architects of magician if you’re going to get us to work and then someone’s like you didn’t bend the spoon
the news I guess I didn’t really run your wallet
mimic Now You See Me 1 it features one of the Franco’s he does he doesn’t sleight-of-hand food to make ruffolo like restrained and then what are you doing at any goes and it goes like what’s your what’s your endgame what’s your in Game 7 but it’s like it’s it’s it’s ruthless voice coming out of Franco’s mouth because he’s a predator now because he’s a magician it’s one of the four types of magician the other one is naked they can’t buy it cannot be that would be caught that would be a different movie
then you saw me texting each other soon tonight Paris so
yeah. You guys are a little weird we’re picking up on you. Here it’s hot
cuz of the Heat
do you have a hair tie
do you
do you
okay fair enough
I mean I’d invite you up to talk about it but it would be way hotter up here so we are yeah I want to be bald does anybody have a ball cap and pick the hair tie with you
well for which I would invite audience interaction
rude if you say hurtful don’t say rude rude is going to trigger me a rude rude it’s very hot we’re all irritated all right okay how long are the shows
I believe you guys are triggering my shame I have a very very low shame threshold this I give you track all of my negative behavior it’s all due to like the fact that I feel like I’m very easily shamed and startled
Cody James going to be easily startled
but you’re a bad guy
what’s this segment you were talking about
I’m sorry it’s raining going cuz I don’t mean to say that I will make the show better
if it be that you don’t have to tell me if it’s going wrong I think it’s going to go great by the end
so nnn if you pay attention is at the next segment of you
I mean I guess what I got another hour
still thought I was I didn’t think you hear me
cast of 911 by the way
how to talk about politics I like Hillary Clinton because I know that’s what you get high this Sacrament the segment is I want to be careful about how I asked for these volunteers is pretty cool we usually get pretty balanced. You could be in Balance to I think we’ve proven that I’m just saying like just going to run up cuz I really want you for a specific role I want you to be passionate
about an in either side of the issue pineapple on pizza that’s it the fog up first
let’s diversify a little though yeah you come up we got a white male probably cisgender lady in the film the middle back maybe let’s at least have my mixing it up there but but but I still think we should while we got it which I said there’s a young lady here raising both hands are we going to go one at a time the jack is when I called the the awkward deck how about you sit up here it’ll be great no up here right here in the good place not the bad person place okay what’s your what’s your name is going to go one
god dammit no I’m also for okay that’s fine it’ll be great what’s your name what’s your name a movie with normally normally eat the whole thing I really want passion here I mean now people know that you’re a sociopath
I can totally see the reason against Absol
so we need a I think we need somebody who’s so against
I didn’t sound like a black woman
okay we have a visor that’s an advocator for you said black woman against it but I got to be sure to it we can’t force you to come up like like like like like you’ve got a strong Advocate if you’d love to come up
Dino color the table the table
it should be black woman against over here
for a standard like construction side leg type of thing that you can hang around the city
who knows when I can come in handy what’s your name now though
I just wanted my only thought was like cuz it was such a weird thing is I was hearing some people talk about how amazing a pineapple on pizza with some people yeah it’s some people fuck man
you mean racially is that when you say I know we were in The Green Room I’m right here
I thought he was like some people what do you mean symbol for pineapples I mean I don’t know what I was going to do was have two people come up we can still do that what do you mean will to people like see how it go do it will be great for pineapple I got plans to smooth this all out as we proceed start with a pro probably right or just a pro mini tachometer Pro again we can get another kind are you I’m going to give you a minute to be ready so when people are like Pixar is really good at making movies are they like hey what’s so great about Pixar movies is that they’re just funny and there are
Riverside and then never touching people say they know they don’t have to go after Pixar movies I don’t have great about pineapples on Pizza is at their sweet and tangy and they’re also Savory and salty that’s clearly Superior combination when you wake up in the morning and you’re like oh breakfast I’m so psyched about breakfast because I have never in my life crazy sweet thing and breakfast is a meal predicated solely unsavory things know you don’t say that because breakfast is amazing and breakfast includes both sweet and savory things thank you so now do what you what do you think so I think we should probably the next thing we should hear should be anti pineapple so it’s between I’m sorry
one too but you want to go first or second you use YouTube
you do it you can take a minute or less here we go
this is just as bad as having like hot beer and deep-fried watermelon is just doesn’t make sense to me like three pieces of pizza is like a pineapple for I mean I’m sorry it’s just an Abomination this is how it is I just described it I know it’s like not a huge explanation or argument
well I kind of. I mean I feel in a crazy way we are tying it into America doesn’t matter for one sentence
I just feel that pineapple is just one of the fruits that it just doesn’t make sense to me like watermelon I mean is not just cuz I’m glad but I just like what time’s up with that was getting complicated
Secretary of Defense
okay so God damn it why do I ever asked is if I’m never going to remember Hunter Hunter great theme of the show of the Precision magic so you are The Prestige of the film is like a magic trick and I feel like we’re missing that whole time it’s so when you eat a pineapple and I’m going to go with ham Pizza you start with it so you’re not looking at you get the saltiness this is really good I hope it’s not all one note and you keep having at me like I was told that mixes it up like a one-two punch a pineapple is what I expect it not really used to it and you get the salt on my God it’s so many flavors packed into one I can’t believe it
and so damn your York on right now your aunt on I’m kind of cool cool I’m going to do so we can do like a bunch of us apparently were like why why aren’t you bringing that up
I tried clearly times at a premium on my ship where is the Apex we’re at the Apex every single thing I talk about is like one third of something I was trying to get to so I know I mean I probably would have one truck
I would have you all right but I am now about to shame you okay here we got to keep this to a minute and it’ll xenophobic I hated it is is it in the desert section of the menu or are you ordering a Greek salad
and not enough people just order something other than pizza be that person at the party that says you know what I can’t like pizza I’d like a chicken barbecue pineapple salad oh Anton he’s at the party Anthony eat pizza stop disrupting the party
you’ve infected the culture you’ve infected my soul
that’s exactly one minute
all right so I have a Hemi in it says I have an unfair weight literally and figuratively like like like whatever take a boat okay okay well I just go Fallon I think we eat before we before we make it binary in like like like like like like like let’s make a constructive cuz he was one thing that I’d like to point out cuz how many of you here hearing these two are having second thoughts about pineapples Merritt on a pizza
what is the forecast for making it a positive thing but then again it’s about advocating for a fucking ridiculous prop on top of a pizza it’s not like you could take a negative position and go and get pizza and Steve there’s nothing you can do that doesn’t sound positive that I will say that like you get to sound like fucking motherfuker
all right so I need to be a result of
all right that’s outlawed except pineapple on pizza
they’re both on their Boku that sounds like trying too hard if you refuse to let Pizza be by elated
this is why America is going to die or do we think through middle overs all Donald Trump but I’ve heard it’s a racist stereotype
sorry I don’t mean to assume a captain you say is Hitler was right
but I want to judge what you said oh yeah absolutely so you know
conspiracy theories and how it’s easier to work from the back end of it if you would just show up and be like we would if we had a recipe box full of negative evidence cards we didn’t even matter what the topic was you just pull out Alan Greenspan says we’re headed for a recession
I got your arms with that when you don’t want anything done it is likely it was just like prison overcrowding you’re proposing we build a biodome
the money I’ve been easier to be negative it’s easier to keep your pizza for open-minded to sort of like people hate putting all the shit in soup but I hate putting all the shit soon
I mean yes so well there’s a court human problem We Were a Rich Empire we have this like at least successfully illusory freedom is not actual where should we have it pretty good if I say it was like that yesterday so complicated I make that guy sound like a Teamster
unless I was at a union meeting and they be like
go to be open do you got to close my pasta
Play Click I think that people don’t know where to punch and we’re to deflect they don’t know when they’re the underdog and when they’re the alpha you always feel like the underdog in the point here it just like what you saying like why don’t why don’t you put what are you put pineapple on pizza and then everyone’s worried that if you put pineapple on pizza and like everyone keeps saying they like it with nobody saying this is bullshit that all of a sudden One Day pineapple be part of pizza whether you like it or not I think that is the genuine fear which is also had a ridiculous I think that that is what the what the problem is that the engine of humanity the people go like what what’s next book burning
I’m not giving up mine, so I can say he can’t burn it to Slippery pineapples so anyways since we have you up there it’s Beatrice because you’re good people why are you talkin all right it’s hot but are they just know they’re just like you just like it’s hot so you just like say stuff that’s what I
I’m letting office I Let Go hot temperature of smart people up here right now so let’s let’s let’s solve some problems what would you rather fight 40 duck-sized horses or a horse size duck
I would definitely fight a what’s what’s the big one the score size Ducks that’s a duck the sight of a horse problem like you don’t you don’t look do you hold on or do you want to fight the Velociraptors if you’ve seen any Jurassic movie act like you know that the Velociraptors win you don’t you don’t wants to know what a pack of something small and fishes that can coordinate its attacks but horses aren’t we want a single opponent
even if it’s a large duck it’s still a fucking duck never have a have you ever had a Dakshin your mouth I have my ride my goddamn mouth
why do a horse size duckshit
a horse sized duck duck sized horses
are they the big ducks with the little ducks their ducks are not like oh they’re not the horse-sized Ducks oh no worries didn’t run when you say yeah kick your fucking ass like a horses don’t like going to fuck you up so I got to run a great
what are the size of ducks are going to laugh while they’re running
I don’t wave at them unless unless there’s a horse sized ducks a true size.
Pushes you take I would take the smaller the small horses and I’ll tell you why cuz I only have I already have a great technique for handling mobs of enemies and I think it applies just as well as horse-sized duck sized horses is it does the coyotes you know that’s all I’m saying this is this is my pot what is it you’re running pump will if you are if you go to the six more fights animals.com and you can order my instructional videos right teach you all the techniques had a Dodge coyotes with a backpack how to take on horses with carrots how to take on sharks with an eyeball
all the classic techniques are the spear size eyeballs sorry
Juliana
Juliana who is your friend that said we got a black woman and over here against pineapple
first it was actually was harmontown but this is we’ve been together for 6 months you should young enough that I can ask how old you are if you don’t mind telling us how baby baby pumpkin he’s in his he’s forty-nine what’s up
why do I do that
what is the distance
I’m going to get better I don’t know what that I don’t even know what I look like what is that
I’m going to investigate that what you’re saying
I’m in Long Beach. First day was here in Harbor Town
who’s that guy is that your boyfriend or isn’t he asked me and then I thought about it and never a good sign if I’d had the wrong opinion about a Game of Thrones episode you would have gone one way or the other and instead you chose to make him the luckiest Long Beach the harmontown fans and three block radius for the next 3 months
statistics
what is your what’s your how is your life until a can we ask you personal questions what do you do for rent pain I used to work for the government and then what the fuck I could talk about it on here but feel like it’s fine I used to work for them but now I work at a medical office in Santa Monica which is okay but her medical office Lake so people come in and I might be sick at some point I’d like to like we might be sick and my call we don’t have we don’t have the means to help you but maybe you should go to the emergency room
I don’t know what I can do
I want to open up one of those
yeah I know it’s not like that but it’s mostly deal with primary care so if it’s like a huge a medical emergency it’s like you definitely should go to an ER and they’re like well I’ve got to stay high I don’t have I don’t have any problems will you come to the right place
does it represent any kind of leg is the how close is this to your what do you want with your fantasy about your career path your vocation your roll I don’t even want to pin you down maybe you would want to be a The Vapor of light but it’s like what do you what would happen from your very limited time on this Earth
well I would like to be a doctor in the future medical office seems like yeah it’s like the mailroom probably I’m assuming I don’t know it is 3/6 people for you today I stayed up all night so I arranged them from sickness sickness hope you have a great Father’s Day
young man what’s what are these I just happen to talk
young Jewish men in the Mailroom
he was raised on 60s musicals
listen to Blackboard medical problem that she solved I didn’t hear that but
but but what what’s your name again
all right what are you do hard to follow what are you do computer software engineer
computer software engineer that sounded suspicious I don’t believe that you have a job or
you can prove you’re not a murderer I’ll give him my own tests to see if he’s a murderer
getting a bucket
what is she putting it in water order that’s what you put in I feel like an idiot all right
I’m on your side I’m a piece of shit I can’t thank you think I didn’t want to think there was some kind of weird between a reference and fundamentally wrong thank you all right
your name is a lion hunt her heart
set horror Poe
who was the guy I had to pass over Hunter to fake guess or Foe
bullying is a cool name I want to take it away from you
is it cool is it cool name it sounds literally like like a hunter
cheating is what it is. Your parents cheated
Senator James Harmon
okay what what are you what are you what are you what are you doing and what do you want to do that’s the right now I write computer software for a company on Santa Monica and yeah it what I would want to do would be cute animals for some reason why is it Professor teachers teach bubble gum cross at work she had to teach racism to be racist
what is formed when are they going to give me the job I want I love physics and some vacuum tube pill comes through and just opened it right now I’m sorry that I’ve gone off on my funny little Flights of Fancy say what you were going to say before I forgot what was going on
that’s about it for now Emily Emily I just died. I just jumped in and I don’t I don’t I just bad. Just a bad names and faces can’t do it to Juilliard
I love you in that school
okay Gwen Gwen Emily Diane
trap trap trap trap trap Travis Johnson the Third
Daphne got Jennifer
Emily wedding dress by the way
stop it please stop the Throwing Shade so it is
I saw what happened there and I was immediately I was like that’s me that’s a hell
court court court in any order at any lakes in any accent from Norwegian to Spanish just kidding then the last part just a little drunk what are you what are you doing what do you want to do direct future films and I want to direct feature-phone privilege tenders
dream follower industry dream to look at because I don’t I don’t want to make them feel like called out but there is is somebody in this audience was just watching the show with just like a bottle of Jameson at their foot and and Kent can a person help me does a person have a cup yourself
a preview you know
everybody this is Annie Annie Annie Annie
different different different Abel where is it I don’t see any can you tell us about it
hosting I love it
but I like it you can thank you very much
it would be nice to ask you a couple questions really seen you in a while. Do you need help
what happens when you when you ask let’s give a hand to a doctor
Dr Horton inclusive and like open-minded like we’re clearly just like fuck everyone with me but it’s all I got
double pepperoni bacon and pineapple amazing sounds good weight Canadian bacon or bacon bacon okay I’m on board
in the pepperoni and the spiciness in the pineapple on my God
I am a little high and drink myself I always picture you is like a kind of a clean-cut that I’d caused this in you or are you just a high drunk person now cuz you listen to the podcast okay I will look at it thank you but I did take you for a walk or do a chain right like you I cured your spinal stenosis
earlier doing Dad yes thank you
okay how does that work
the last time you tried to talk to me was at South by Southwest when we couldn’t hear anything but yeah that whoever is like why don’t know how to how to qualify it but like Danny’s character had a Blog how how to dress like a need to dress up like this. Org. Edu / Annie
if you had like a walker right season degenerative disc disease and now I also have arthritis in my upper spine as well as a collapsing discs in my psoriasis or you need it was God the spinal stenosis was going to your head I found myself thinking by she needs to be taken down a peg I hope she gets arthritis how do you go from a walker to a King who is it was actually starting to my arthritis was spreading up into my neck and it was starting to spread into my my shoulders and so and I asked my dad
why is that and she’s one of the reasons that is is because when you want to walk are you kind of have to push down on it a little bit and so when you’re walking forward you sort of give us this pressure and that you’re using your Walker as a crutch
and they called you out on it exactly it’s like you needed to help you walk or something I said that and which is not unlike what I said to do an exact way she said it
and so I just said okay I’m going to start using my my Kenmore and so what the doctor said was and this is probably the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life was if you’re going to use your cane more you’re going to have to take more pain pills and I’m like wait a minute why was I not doing what’s the downside Christmas caves filled with the pain pill
kids where it says would you rather wear one of these or take all these pills
it’s a hard question I was actually I’ve been taking one drug and he’s my doctor said my physical doctor said you can also be taking this pill which makes you lose weight automatically
why didn’t she give me that in the first place
unbelievable just want to tax your pain but the side effects are heightened IQ pineapples on Pizza abilities have a portable hole as I look it up it’s a D & D thing a bag of holding don’t put them in each other unless you want to level a castle
what do you think I’ll give you one minute before or against Annie’s help eventually terrible host and I don’t know what I’m doing what are you guys thinking about all this war
hey why don’t we talk about your girlfriends titties
that sounds like an urban disc but my girlfriend and she said it’s okay to talk about it and it was like so we spent that that like weird lump scared and she went in and got a mammogram and I how many how many how many women I guess I guess what the rules are about that like
but that might mean I don’t know if that means like you’re particularly susceptible to cancer and so did you have you have one in my ovaries removed and so they were like hey yeah I sure they match your booby and I saw a video of it and then they mash it on the thing under your boobies are the more it hurts like it was funny because like the smaller they are the worse it would be opposite is true how do you know have you tried happening
I did it for a little while in the 90 is that I was like that is not for me because we all were girls have little tits at some point I don’t recommend it honestly you know it’s almost over us you know we are you familiar with the committee is there an offshoot of the Bilderberg Group
I did shut that they run the Eye of Horus which is a lot of Now You See Me 1 at the end of that glowing Carousel are spoiled by this movie and you will see that I’m telling you the good guys evaporate into a magical mist and now they’re going to do a second one I don’t know how are they going to be like we’re transdimensional magician robbers anyways I can’t wait I can’t wait now you don’t is when it should be called but you can’t call it that I think that when the first one came out everyone was like now you see me so then like they couldn’t they couldn’t go that way if they wanted to cuz that joke was already there I’m doing flying in the face of the theory that Shane would stop them from doing anything
is every frame of the movie you’re describing
so the mammogram came out okay
it hurts but now I feel like I’m I’m like I’m a guy who has a podcast that had a girl is that was like everybody can you also say it didn’t hurt that much what’s your agenda for today
help the platform of mammograms fear
it’s not like it’s one of those things and it doesn’t it doesn’t matter whether or not it hurts you want to get the mammogram what is the current league of of party line of it is it that you supposed to self check and then nugget mammogram is if you find a lump is that the idea
in the shower and then you go in circles around your breasts right
it’s I mean
supposed to high school or when at least one love you could feel and the other lump you could not like a Princess and the Pea about sensitivity this woman could pitch about anything
Pizza King Arthur of RJ of her gender on your side you should have had better Heroes Journeys in that
so the purpose of the lump you could not feel was that it cement that’s why you need to get me there were like it was like a shity like Kobayashi Maru like the sound of what why didn’t you think I was going to pick my own finger
I was okay all right breast chicken breast mammogram came out a price circle around your balls in a steamy shower that sounded hot like that’s not what you do when you check your balls like the that got guys, there’s art on the college stall that’s the first time you went in my day when you encountered ball checking like mythology no one teaches it until you’re in college in my and there’s a diagram when you get the college and and it’s just like these the thumb and forefinger and it’s just like to do that to a ball
and they’re suggesting that you do that in the shower it looks like the fucking pogs like it looks like piggley Winks just being played like it just looks like a fun and I’m not doing it this town that doesn’t sound Pleasant
I don’t think I
she seemed sincere so that does not sound fun just collapsing
so so you are disappointed that your girlfriend didn’t have cancer. He’s compacting a very very long and I didn’t say I love Cody so much that was like going to try to explain this to my therapist and I said to her I’d never say this out loud because it’s not is like why would you bring this up like I said we can talk about this aspect of it I found out I love my girlfriend so much that I was like how I look like part of my brain was like stoked about proving it lately I think it’s not a thing to talk about like I said this a private thing it’s like I don’t know it’s a complicated but I mean I’m sorry I broke your no rules
if it was 8:15 I’d be like okay
but is it something to rap about
First Time Forever
all I got this covered
I got a song and everything
yeah I got hella and all of your mother’s excuse me for a second what the fuck
yeah
well I was
all right all right that’s cool are our wrapping turn Janessa thank you Jacob. But 112 112 I got to 1 and it’s going in my shoe I got a sock and you know what to do I put it on my toe and I get some glue I attached the shoe to my socket I go out and I find a sizable Rock and I put my foot on it I sit there for 6 hours and write a sonnet I say yo your face is like a comet I fucked your mama’s so hard I made her vomit I want is fucking anime you Wallace Gromit I’m going to do it if you sharing intimate I’m going to fuck you so hard I’m going to vomit on to why am I
repeat the rhyme with many times has flowers that’s a funeral so hard hats at her life was trying to save gave us CPR payment ABC David 222 and just a DLC
town is the place where I was born a fuked your mama’s so hard or she got showing I put I put razors inside her by your mama’s so hard she told a motherfuking yarn
that’s what I said proof for the show some of you some of you should really think about yourselves tonight
let’s have a hand for Henrietta
Goblin Goblin Goblin Goblin and Helen and Juliana
helpful empty no sandwich Apolis
exactly audio mini action. Just in the Farrell audio producer in the back and thanks
and all the best alright drive fast take chances