Episode: 244 – God Made Us To Kill Us


Episode: 244 – God Made Us To Kill Us


Dan explores new interactive options for the show, Rob Corddry and Rob Schrab weigh in on Dan’s writing methods, while Guest Comptroller Brandon Johnson becomes Dan’s angry writing coach. Featuring Dan Harmon, Brandon Johnson, Spencer Crittenden, Rob Corddry and Rob Schrab.


what is John this is harmontown it is now it’s session please welcome to the stage Spencer Crittenden
go home and tell Jen Harden
are we just going for the lovely lovely Jeff Davis iron Brandon Johnson cash bless you
thank you Brandon. How are you at some point in the future and if we don’t then we’re just late starting on time
I like that yeah I have really bad heartburn and cuz I just went off of Prilosec cuz I went to the doctor and I said and he said like how you feeling and again I went to do what I can go in for my little check up you don’t like to check the check the liver checked this and everything and just deliver it will mostly the liver I’m going for a liver and cuz I don’t want to eat whatever I know I’m going to get some kind of like cirrhosis or whatever or something and then going to be like drink and then died with it with it without it being like a Told You So my liver the kills me it’s like fixie
we act like it’s a disease that but but even worse than that like that it strikes only those that did something to deserve it like you’re all going to die you fucking piece of shit and and and and by the way I said it before I’ll say it again I’ll all about believe any shit that you say about medicines that anyone generates a society where the doctors live on average a day longer than the other people there is no doctors don’t live any longer everything and they only because God made us our relationship or door we created God to kill us
keeping things fancy fruit for Brandon a little more Collegiate for the for the kids but anyways but I’ve been taking Prilosec for like a fucking long enough to have Alzheimers for sure because if you because if you do die you don’t want to die with heartburn like last year did the east side at the end of the whole thing he is easy is there anything you’re worried about first of all you’ve told me
motherfuker your job like real quick my job back for like a fucking ever and should I be doing that they told me keep taking it because I timer is it he’s like yeah here’s the thing
I want you to get off the Prilosec because it causes Alzheimer’s
tended but it was his idea
maybe maybe he heard your impression of him
is any whatever man is it is it rude to blow your nose in a restaurant is it but I think the answer is a case-by-case basis I think if you can tell it’s going to be on Audible like what’s in there I think if I think no one should ever sneeze
I think if I hold in my sneezes I’d say like 95% of the time and I’d say it’s the right thing to do
I certainly wish to to rip off a thought from Karen and Georgia my favorite murder they were talking about shout sneezers when they when they stop doing that choice another thing you could do is you could turn it as sneeze into a yellow Lego
I’ll tell you this man nothing is more nerve-racking than people
you’re like God Jesus Christ you’re killing yourself yeah
for everyone in Spanish
why you do it
that’s what it’s like you’re going to get a stroke or something wouldn’t that be amazing if someone’s like
are they just like topple over in their eye turns red
head exploded actor but he died at 50 because he was a polite doctor yeah I don’t think I had anything else to say House of Pies today and I was like first of all, supplies so the bar is lower than but then I blew it and I was like I meant nobody wanted that like because it’s there’s a there’s a glow where it just sounds like there is a you’re just blowing your nose and then there’s nose blows that’s like two things just came out I don’t know if that is really fine if it’s two sound effects of like a grape coming out of a garden hose or something
city of Martinsville sound effect record library and I used to beg my mom but can I get this and she’s like again it was sound effects record I would get I would get sound effects records and it would just sit and listen to him like a fucking asshole but she paid off
just like legally quick spooky sound if I was really into like the occult of steps are there was like a little bit all year round I would rent Halloween sound effects records and it would just be like the same shit on every record cuz they were just be recycled or license that would you like some guy on a piano window shutters and I would just sit there and listen to it
I got to be autistic right like I just like figured out how to start covering it up at like 9 or something so you can’t diagnose me now cuz I’m like Ben Affleck in the accountant on my tithing it now he’s not hiding that he’s like he’s like stoked about it
you got to see Ben Affleck in the account and it’s amazing it is so incredible he’s a he’s a he’s an autistic superhero because his dad was an army man it didn’t cotton to autism acceptance and so trained him to visit his dad figured well if he doesn’t like bright lights and loud sounds then he should be exposed to more of them and he should learn to kill and ends that guy being the villain that guy is like the ob one that’s there he’s the reason why instead of just a regular autistic Ben Affleck as an amazing crime-fighter because he’s part autistic Parts functional Soldier the combination is amazing he can he can he can autistic Liam his sniper rifle
it’s so fucked up I guess he can calculate how to kill you and it’s it’s really it’s really silly and amazing it’s really that and Lucy like you want to watch this movie called bad movie should be as good as that Lucy’s that someone was using a hundred percent of our brain so she can just start making people float stuff when it’s the one I’m thinking of I did not see Lucy you can mix it floats and then she just does that there’s no conflict in the whole movie she just like you did the first 10 minutes there’s a conflict cuz she hasn’t yet ingested this superhero amount of drugs and then she becomes a superhero in the rest of the movies just fucking like making the city lay down or making a building dance and then Morgan Freeman’s explaining nvoy that’s possible and then she just turns into a computer and flies into the moon or something
but it’s great it’s a great movie
alright let’s bring up bring up Rob’s Rob and corddry
gesturing to each other to go for the stairs we came up together at the same time you know this is a great live show and a better live stream but it’s also an audio podcast
at home we did a fantastic bit and I never even though no one laughed at it
it was it was funny in a very subtle way I really liked it I really liked what we did. It was it was really good it was great was really good we were on the same page hello come on arm it don’t fuck this up
hi Dan hun
happy Sunday
the thing is not coming up that’s asking me if I want to mirror behind of the dollhouse
why is it why is the mannequin
that’s a compliment that’s a sexy mannequin
think I’m that then
oh I bet I know what it is all right all right. Fishnet got it you like
you ready Dan we’ve been stalling yeah yeah I don’t know if you do I probably won’t do this every year you know I don’t know if I’ll do whatever I’m experimenting with her I didn’t make you wait for any is this shut up
I got I got to thinking she was up here you know OSHA it and I’m someone’s dad so I got you know I got topics tonight
I just like playing a slide up is my Bliss my mind map I got entertainment politics psychology art science and culture
set phasers on kill Brandon for posing for
for those of you that they’re just laughing at the fact that I’ve got a quite a visual I’ve got a mind map set up here but but that but the but the but the but the podcast is still going to be very audio friendly and like I don’t know that I’ll have all Sunday.
I talked about heartburn I didn’t talk about Ruby Ridge I saw a documentary about Ruby Ridge do you know anything about that over here in route to Waco that makes you go like well why did Waco happen with anything cuz it’s just like the government was just like go first thing in trapped a guy like they were worried cuz they were Nazis to know what are people out there but it’s like God the glory days just running around being Nazis and having like a little Voice singer with the strange things and like dancing and going like
the city is like
you can’t
you got to stay in the woods
Jethro Hitler
but you know cuz now they’re in the White House that it’s worse isn’t it there’s bunkers everywhere like old cement bunkers from World War II and it always seemed so cute it’s like adorable. People are going to attack from the sea
now it’s going to be electronically fucking dummies will be the submarine that
going to hack your Amazon account
don’t you feel bad for the ice of DVDs all right look you too but he was really just like he was like a farmer in like in the 70s like far as far as we were leaving the farmers got really fucked and this guy was kind of like at a big fan of the federal government to be like to his farm in life and he moved out to the middle of nowhere and there were Nazis out there and he kind of made friends with him and sweet
they just happened to be Nazis and there was because there are there were like Feds that were like in full training and always trying to like ya figure out how do we bust these guys they make us nervous and so they told this guy they think it was entrapment like they said like hey do you think you could sew off some shotguns for us and he’s like okay I have a saw and then they’re like you’re under arrest and he’s like god dammit no because I’m a nothing right my friends are not want to go to jail by Nazis and has a bunch of sawed-off shotguns with you trying to figure out how do you walk in and go and like they’re just their kids and there’s guns and I said they were like creeping around the property all the time for months trying to figure out what to do
middle set up a couple more cameras and just watch him a little bit more involved and then five minutes later. No one knows what really happened everyone is accusing everyone else of being villains but but I’d like the dog was dead a kid was dead and everyone is freaking the fuck out there was a big standoff ends in the fucking like they brought it they were just had like snipers that were just watching the house and then like the wife walked out and they just fucking killed her and like the bed didn’t know that the wife was dead so they kept trying to use her to like get the guy to surrender and go like come on do it for Margaret he’s like what the hell are you talkin about
she’s laying on the kitchen floor there like we can’t hear you you don’t have a loudspeaker Margaret loves muffins come on
text Chris and he thought they were just fucking with him like like like because how do you kill someone and not know the answer is government
anyways ruby red check it out Google it
is it rude to blow your nose in a restaurant I guess the answer what I’m hearing is no I think it is if you have cloth napkins
if you don’t have nice nicer restaurant is taking the time to give you cloth napkins but I still do it
I’ll still blowing my nose in those things that feels like yeah I know I don’t feel good about it but I’ll do it I’ll definitely do it I found out I’m not sexist because I was
I was at a party for a show that I control from above and one of the Riders who is a lady writer right choice is she who I respect as a human being a give her a job on her show
and her partner by the way I wrote the show while riding a human being in her belly because because if she needed an attorney one of the writer try Chris’s right Tristan
she she brought her husband who I’ve met a thousand times and my girlfriend Cody was also a right dress by the way what are you do and I was like so what does he do he’s married to a writer that’s what he does and then it turned out really interesting is likely he likes designs like video games of stuff I need particular is designing stuff that has to do with like helping people neurology that have p h p t s d all the stuff that I didn’t know cuz I never saw him as a human being because I’m not sexist
because I respect writers not men
and I hate spouses not women
I’m fucking awesome
thank you
well when we check in at the entertainment section here okay
I got a lot of C I’m so excited it’s like a real show you guys heard about Piers Morgan today right like he he doesn’t know
yeah I did I did read it it’s somebody he was talking about it he was talking about men men this and men that men should suck it up and then it suck it up and he was like and then men were tweeting at him and going like grow up like real men did know how they feel and talk about their feelings and then he was not a real man then
and the real entertaining thing was like them for the rest of the day he was like you knew something was up it was like wait wait he doesn’t know but then he clearly he was like oh yeah I didn’t know that. Thanks a lot I didn’t know that but she responded to every sweetie I just got to like yeah I didn’t know thanks for telling me like you did didn’t you
tweeted 50 times about this you thought James Bond is real and you’re British we are allowed to think he’s real
does he not hang out with GI Joe
so anyways way to go you fucking ball sack I hate Piers Morgan I guess you’re supposed to hate him and that’s bread and circuses
Adam Adam Adam Goldberg figuring out how he’s tagging tweets that’ll make a drop-down happen.
So that’s so fucked up
well I’ve got some now don’t freak out when I say video fine cuz that your listing at home and you’re dropping your carrots and you’re poor and you don’t pay for the guests are going to be terrible for you I don’t go so like French toast so okay so my girlfriend Cody Heller like she does with a lot of people does do at one point she started following everyone named Cody Heller on Facebook or something that I do that I have I have I have a couple Dan Harmon friends yeah
do every everyone should do that I think it’s funny I’m going to find out what you look like if your parents are actually fed you vegetables
like the better version of you cuz if there’s like flick I look there’s a better Brandon Johnson. They’re like he’s fucking successful he painted them and I’ll kill this dude
I follow a guy whose first name is cordry his parents were a fan of my distant cousins who was a journalist for the Washington Post back in the 60s and he asked Ronald Reagan a question once in the eighties and they were like he did then they named him for jury is first name is cordry so shout out
I found out one of the guys I follow on Twitter is Dan Garmin
I do when things are really bad like after the election I’ll just check in with him going what’s going on in your universe
is it all right that you’re treating me like you’re paralyzed.
But he’s always like no it’s the same here and my name is just different than yours just meet you at your pain doesn’t make me an object’s Cody Cody Cody Cody Heather’s who are all dudes basically Cody’s more I guess we’ll just use more of a dude named and that the only reason that that’s important is it but it’s all this isn’t just a random video from YouTube and if you’re listening you’ll hear the audio there is no the video is simply will tell you what the video is with the audio is where it’s at speaking of hearing the audio we’re going to need to plug in that headphone jack call brother Spencer Zorn
maybe it’s cuz I have a weird name but yeah either dicks in this
no okay just asking
how do you get a reasonable question
contact points are usually say there’s like 50 decks but I’m like a I think it’s it’s Cody Heller who I think is maybe a Russian guy or a Polish guy I don’t know or maybe just his karate instructor whose voice will here in a second is Russian or something but he’s speaking English movie Eastern European accent and he he’s going to give Cody Heller this young man his Purple belt and whatever martial art there this is and the guy the guy is so nothing it was my girlfriend her name is just like that’s how we find those random video and I was just like so entranced by this I wanted to share it with people cuz I’m so confused about this guy and his leg
I don’t like his attitude about giving someone a purple belt and also what you’ll do so just listen to this guy
over here training
Jamaica right now
his name is Corey coming here Court you made it
I’m here for you
where is the camera
is this like a cast-iron video has a GoPro maybe give me his Jeep in between my Royal Quarry I don’t think you know I got a hard man
I have a saddle in a web Corey thinks he’s about to tie the purple belt around Cody
and and your end I don’t just this guy is he this guy is either not the instructor or or or is so focused on the martial arts he’s never actually tie a belt before I put it on
can’t hold it and you can have your stuff for the belt
any hand it off to a guy who just like pies at like a karate belt and then they hug you right now
I’m here for it
sounds like he’s up to something is that like an Eastern European stereotype is that like yes but but like like a nosy like if you sound like Eastern European you sound like you’re going to like fucking murders like that guys from the Alabama guns in the car I’m Greek not Serbian all right and I just wanted to share my YouTube channel and I don’t know if I ever shared this made me this is from Forensic Files again if you listening just listen you know what you there’s nothing visible you have to
poison that kills instantly
forensic pathologist Dr Jon Boat
text John but Hudson Forensic Files when it was that was that was what’s his name the guy for men’s Forensic Files what was his name the guy that the guy that saves clip and again totally audio friendly for those of you so I can assholes that just listen for free and complain from the movie with Pierce Brosnan in volcano or Dante’s Peak made a great movies like I don’t know either do or don’t name your characters Harry and Terry if you’re in an in an action film
yeah it is it here
Terrence Terrence Harrison Harrison Terrance Harrison Herald
what is your full name that you shorten to her
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss go in a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no one but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
let’s go to 14 Vulcan Twitter question so stoked about my technology
Dan Harmon guy keeps responding to everything all right

how do you feel about LA versus New York in the impassioned back and forth between us
is there a what is that what is that mean you mean like I think just with the city’s east coast is better than West Coast is not a good question
I think I got the clear to tell the story about about Cody and that this was plenty of role-playing oh yeah like Pathfinder 2nd edition yeah
you don’t think it’s pretty
violent sexual creative heavy is a taboo beautiful you’re both Riders so it gets pretty in order to verify for our own animal brains that’s not got happening got it
visuals to this no no I just want to I just wanted to tell this story cuz I cuz I cuz I know is this really just made me really love her extra more
doing like a scene and a sexually and and the end of the construction of the scene had to do was a taboo Sage Dynamics
who was it was young doctor and I needed a college credit
Daniel come on over
my rocking chair don’t work anymore
I could go at any second time it’s in my name this could you please
and she’s fading out and help me let me put my teeth in that’s why it’s the bedroom and not the boardroom although we’ve done that we talked about the boardroom
starburns no no no no no stop it during the during the during the taboo fantasy I was like well if you ever done this before and and she was like a couple times I mean for 5 and I was like okay and I had more question when I go to to then you notice we did what we boardroom
and then afterwards you know we like to review give no skip notes
when you said
I’m a really good it was really good thank you for giving me a Latin surname is not enough diversity any scenario is I really appreciate it I was very proactive of you that would give each other a little props and high-fives and I and II was like why why what what
shopping with the with the little bloop of conversation why was why was it so important to the number of times that she had done this or that and you wouldn’t all this detail and then I had that she’s like yeah I just can’t I have an internal logic bump there at like cuz you know I just felt like you know that the idea was I had never ever done anything before then why would my blow jobs be so good
damn I wish I was like actually brighter turn on logic pro play
yeah I mean I wouldn’t have been like wait a minute but is your character was not your character was
old Hill Experience old helicopter pilot
how old how old how much can I buy a brand new private in the military Twitter is the community movie basically a no-go asking for a friend I don’t I don’t know I don’t know why I save that question I don’t question did you ever watch the TV show the cape
no no man is great there is an episode where there’s this autistic chick who could like murder people with math it was great. Didn’t really murder people I think she just stopped in elevator or something I don’t know continue Burger sister she could have but she was a good person
muscle under like everyone can use this it it’s a good show because the powers ability to make something to make make series for everybody but the bad part of it is in prison the chick no no no no
Germany gray Playhouse to pitch a serious right now in the water water like I said sorry
Elisa Elisa Lam linh Lam Lam wet like that okay
okay well say her name is best to make a joke out of it but there’s no jobs to be had went back I think he’s just trying to help but you know about the whole elevator the Roberts are in the dark
well this young lady who stayed at this hotel which is an ancillary fact it adds to the to the spookiness of its at this hotel is at Downtown hotel downtown hotel in Pocatello or something I don’t know but she stayed there and then she said she was there then she disappeared she was traveling alone he was on some meds but she was then off it was then she was she was staying in a room with some people who testified to the fact that she she was kind of acting in an offer meds kind of way but then she sorry sorry
time for a Mazel tov
terrible time for the middle of a sentence
play it every time someone says something out loud on my bus because we’re not exactly there’s 200 people in the room has two testicles begin there might be somebody who is afraid of this person or whatever but she was traveling I don’t think she was from LA but anyways so I’m trying not to be as crass as I might be if I was moving very fast telling the story like dehumanizing her but what happened is she disappeared and then she was gone for a while and then people were like this water tastes bad from the hotel and then they were they eventually found her body in the water tower for the hotel it was just it was just floating in there for a long time and it’s so but then the video was released from the hotel the security video of her in the elevator I know you’re talking about it before it was released and there’s just a lot of like very strange things about the video and they’re really stupid they’re heading of it like they changed the speed of it and if you end up there anyways one of those born of the curious things that
I’m out of the the DIY sleuths with his boards that were analyzing this thing that I never knew about was this thing called the elevator game which is this whole elaborate thing or if you go into an elevator Millennials believe and you pretend you prep because they think that elevators just grew out of the ground there post elevator children I mean when I was a kid I don’t believe Madame elevators are magic because I saw them being invented
we called them poly cars when I was your age I don’t know about them over to the 5th floor apparently there’s an elevator game where is a good urban legend thing where you you you press elevator buttons in a certain order and then it’s got all these instructions I wonder what the please tell me about the devil come I don’t want anyone else to my wife is Jerry Stiller
Yeehaw Wikipedia Kate beckinsale’s I am done with touching speech after winning best actor in a comedy series the Wikipedia entry for spaniel you’ve been trumped shrimp intelligence allegations FXX still working progress update a network pushing him a receipt caliber but whatever wow okay hold on I need to I’m Really Brave and Bold for doing this but yeah be careful I just wanted to
I’m really not I don’t like that why am I know I don’t like this school
the elevator game get the fuck out of here
urban legend ritual game from Korea oh that means it’s legit horror
the death of Ale sell at least salaam provided an opportunity boost of the games Dart notoriety that’s a weird
Florence to visit the player must stay in the elevator for the entirety of this game and press the following floor buttons in sequence 1 4 2 6 2 10512 game rules state that if the ritual succeeds when the player finally presses instead of going down to the first floor at the elevator will return within a Korean write this the elevator will return to the alternative is that quote another world on quote where nobody exists except for the player travel back floor that’s in the final but will return to prior to the first floor of the game rules at the player check for small things to be sure they are back in the real world the 5th floor ghost girl that’s what I was interested in a year
in person or disguised during the player of the game rules State the girl must not be talked to you that that was the creepy thing that’s not even in the states who are the girls on a specific tour there’s a girl that gets on the elevator and she says where are you going do not answer her
but anyways I just thought of this elevator has the ability not only to take you to another place but also my lingerie most you can accomplish is just you get to the alternate reality and you get to a floor and there’s a door out of you and you’ll never make it to the door but I think the best you can do is like walk for a while and then pass out and then you wake up in a random location like a water tower do you know what is probably someone killed her I got I don’t teleport into water towers
is it it’s coming from the dungeon master I know a lot about teleportation
long that there’s no possibility of any kind of like there and she was she was this is this is awful to say but there’s not shit you know she was like she was sort of in anything that could have provided a clue for decomposition she was like yeah she was heard of dissolved days it was like a sickly-sweet odor in the saying and there was no other key Nash.
Jesus will we see any commentary on the 2016 election the Trump administration of Rick and Morty season 3 know we will not be we were into something else do you think it’s possible to ever really know another person at Julia seven asks do you think it’s possible to ever really know another person know because I
you know what we could do I do actually I have a lightning round of Twitter questions that I had thought I could
lightning round what is the answer to the question we should ask you yes what’s your favorite pastry empanadas
and pinata in your socks as napkins that’s cool right if you’re alone
major in college journalism
with a minor in Psychology but I dropped out halfway through my freshman year so who wanted this doesn’t matter what is your advice to Young Writers were scared to take chances and our nation’s current political climate right about being scared to take chances
is the rickmobile real I think so yeah
Knight Rider The A-Team Knight Rider what’s the project you’re working on
haha thank you for saying you’re hungry today thank you Gabby Gabby Woods
that’s good that you had all those questions lined up for yourself there
are you going to get any for Rob
you were listening to you answer questions
I mean you could have elaborated as well
alright well I’ll file file don’t pick a topic that you guys can join in as going to psychology therapist my therapist blew my mind on Friday she said your thoughts you that you will never lead to action your thoughts are kind of some of this I’m putting words in your mouth but this is my interpretation of it your thoughts are kind of ever never going to be more than kind of kind of a catalog and Analysis of the of the above your experiences and behaviors like you can’t actually thinking about action and I’ll never result in action whereas if you do things it’ll result a new song so you have to act to create new thought you can’t think to create new action and that really made sense to me and also brought me the fuck out cuz that’s what the elliptical thing
but yeah I have to get on the elliptical there the answer to what happened to the electrical sessions as I stopped doing it cuz maybe a vacation or maybe a bad mood or a holiday or something some excuse I had something that interrupted I can’t get on the elliptical and then so that my behavior change and change and might not never start it and it is like I have to just get on the goddamn elliptical at which point it will change again and it’s kind of a bummer cuz you’re like so I have to like you have to do shit that you don’t really think about doing in order to sync new stuff that’s sucks creatives we get shit on for not having a nine-to-five necessarily so when we want to go to like the beach or go thrift shopping or go do something that seems like it’s anti productive we feel guilty but the active like getting up and walking around even if it’s to do something that’s kind of bullshit actually steers us back into a writing and be at
controller professionally for trying to make with me and you should be writing in your Journal we want to fuck off and drink smoke a little pot do something on just a Tuesday at that noon but we get told that shameful you shouldn’t do that but it’s actually been through this she’s 12 years younger than me
which is weird like a 50 year olds that is hilarious 900,000 times that I have gone through and I have my own problems but but but I do know for sure it like I tell it cuz it I watch first of all the fact that like you know just like like Dorothy Parker said I hate writing I was having written like that’s what you that she can I watch her like like I hate the process and then she just meet want everybody to read her shit and like she gets this like fix for 5 seconds of like oh I did a good job and then this crashed but also just like the endless punishment of the self for not writing which doesn’t really make any sense because
AAA it’s like you you have to just like kind of be depressed a little bit it is part of the process you’re like you’re like a little called renter and oven you’re not going to be like a happy camper the whole time if you’re making something that consists of of all of the emotional things that human beings go through when they go through a story like part of that is going to be you being all bummed out with yourself and like sleeping or playing video games or you’re just getting high in like beating your head against the wall watching Ben Affleck movies like you just doing all the things that people do to torture you but here’s the crazy thing that happened like Cody was like she wrote two scripts that were that were really good she did it she did her job she she doesn’t have a deal to write these two scribes and she wrote him she turned him in and and and they’re like these are great can we get two more which is like their way of saying these two are great I knew that would happen
then she was like I’ll have them done tomorrow cuz she was on this High which is also fine to be wrong to be wrong about what you think you could be able to do but then and then she crashes like wait I don’t feel like writing anymore and then she was like I feel so sad nose like you’re supposed to feel sad just lay there and it’s like this weird conversation to have us over here and I feel sad I feel untalented I feel not like doing anything I feel like laying here like a lump Den to say to somebody that’s what you should be doing that’s what you should be feeling
recommend that goes I mean eventually you’re going to have to get back to work right but it’s a it’s a it’s a couple weeks I don’t know it kind of depends its the Masterpiece race if you make a masterpiece he could go out for the next 30 Years cuz it’s so hard to turn a masterpiece in your lifetime but if you’re not if you haven’t turned it on Masterpiece your ass should probably wake up everyday at 9 but she is she she went through a couple weeks where is it she finally because her therapist and I were saying the same thing which is like you’re fine you’re supposed to do just lay there like a lump and watch Forensic Files and that’s what we did for weeks and then the really funny thing was that at the end of it she she got up one morning and she was like I got to get out of here when I got I got I got to write I think I’m going to go into a hotel for a couple days and I immediately was like.
I’m sorry I didn’t and so for her to finish like a butterfly goes like I am stoked about being in a cocoon
a real word going to be like the first thing that you’re going to do isn’t going to be like I feel like writing you’re going to be like frustrated and go like that. I feel so bad I feel like I can’t do anything goes are two different thing if you feel irritation that’s like coming out of an egg or a chrysalis you’re like
I can’t fuck it you should follow that impulse like I want out of here I want to go do something even if that thing isn’t writing you got to go do that but I have to tie the funny thing is that I buy immediate reaction was like fuck you you didn’t warn me about decide you’re going to go there and she’s going to leave me to go be a butterfly for a second right now to write a script over the weekend and probably a hundred dudes nobility of a 50 year old
anyways accident. So tomorrow even though I don’t think I’m going to I’m going to get back on the elliptical and then I’m going to likes think that I should get up for me to be like I would be like late for meetings because my compulsion was to get on the elliptical once I was doing it’s just like Newtonian laws like you if you’re doing it you tend to keep doing it if you stopped you tend to say stop stops and I’m not being one of those preachy exercise people on my mind listeners but that’s the sad thing is like you got to just like do some crazy if that’s what this podcast turned into
it’s like a health health podcast like a if you got to take your patriarch by GNC to you I’m drinking the Vicodin shakes
my my my my I was losing my hair but another ditch growing out of my head
and you got to do what you got to go through this process, and put it in the freezer cuz it’s got to keep that kind of not come it’s vitamins
Cody about cuz I hear something at I’ve never really took me like 20 years to figure out you the other two modes of writing which is like sometimes I equate to sometimes you’re the chest piece and sometimes use a chess player like sometimes you feel like you have to get immersed in your own shit and that could be counterproductive because you should be thinking structurally like so you all know if your if you’ve ever tried to write that you do you get stuck on page one because anything can happen and you’re like what the fuc supposed to happen with at that point you should be thinking structurally and I’m more macro but you want to just be a fact that’s like well every story is like this and it goes like that did the magic happens inside the story so what I’m just realizing watching Cody work is that I think that I’ve been making a mistake of thinking that you’re supposed to
structurally up until a point where your structure is done and then you’re supposed to think immersively immersively but you may never finish that structural work because it may start to generate all kinds of question marks and you actually find your structural inspiration by going into your shity fucked up structural story and like living in it as a passenger where you can clearly see what’s going on I think the better metaphor now that I’m I’m landing on his ass like it’s like train tracks is the structure like you can you can say willy-nilly and probably should be more willing than Millie in structure because you don’t want to waste too much time with structure just say for instance this is going to go from Chicago to Philadelphia that’s like saying a girl voice
passion about it I guess you could get meticulous and go and it is going to go over this River and stuff but you’re still just thinking structurally and the truth is the thing that makes your movie TV show poem whatever you’re working on a good is stuff that happened inside a train car and like some stuff makes use of the fact that you can tell you’re on a train call that may be meta or like a concept or something or it’s like wow I can really feel the structure as I’m riding in this train car but that other stuff is like I didn’t even know I was on a train yeah because they just said it goes from Chicago to Philadelphia when it’s quiet and but but really it’s just like a thing that happens inside a box car and I think that you have to I think we have to go back and forth I think you have to play track or lay plans for track of the you got to get in the car and then go okay Chicago to Philadelphia and let it be like
it’s going. Just make sure and then change it from to Chicago to Florida or because that’s a City right now
the story of a person who failed geography of becoming a writer and telling people what to do
did you change the generalities because they’re easy to change when you get back in just I think it’s more it’s important not to have an end goal when you’re working on structure or when you’re working within you got to get out of either it’s almost like I don’t know what to do with this new Epiphany how are you doing you having a good time at all if you were listening are going to force myself to do that thing where I’m like yeah but what is Mikey feel like in the in the sea but then you have to also not get sucked into that for too long cuz I don’t drive you nuts I think you have to go back and forth on YouTube you would want to be outside the tube and inside the tube equal amount of time you don’t want to spend too much time like to be constructed
I hear they’ll be working on tubes because their shift from the inside of the truth that you’re not ever going to realize how you get in there and you’re like oh man I didn’t know I was making the transition between moving from inside the tube to outside the tomb
I don’t know I mean it
know what is that no for real I’m not making a joke you can characterize it as like working on a white border with no cards versus like actually sitting at the keyboard and like what like where your typing dialogue that’s an easy distinction. Kind of Hawaii characterize it but that could be different for other people cuz I feel like when I sit down and start typing dialogue I’m like inside the same right and so I’m actually like I might jump from character to character but I’m but I’m actually sealed within the reality that building at your smoothing it out right but then there is but then if I’m standing at a whiteboard you know it’s like okay what should happen to know that you’re having these like weird conversations that God has about people like that worth of a bunch of
you do structure like her scene or just the whole the whole thing the whole story like if you’re working on like I’ve got to work on this scene today your structure at the scene and then go in no I’m not what it what am I productive I don’t know no I do I do I do I do it right away. I don’t have a process yet I never work on community in Rick and Morty like the thing that the nature of the Beast becomes break the story and then take the broken story and send it to outline and then take the outline and send it to scrap and I kind of end but then we end up breaking everything we always end up breaking the fire marshal for a community like they think because it was like some fire Paramount like building code thing like he was the official site
the guy whose job it was to know when there was a fire so they Paramount like showed him a closet where there was an orange vest into cones or two and he was never a fire but he would he would grab them when there was a re-break and he would run down the Halls at Paramount and go make me feel like shit because the joke was on me cuz that’s where we work on a psycho show
Missouri break happening why can’t you why can’t you just are I can’t you just are what we wrote yesterday and get an Emmy you fucking narcissist
fucking dumb fat blowhard that you were bobrow
damn it I think it’s his Dan a mechanic on 85 or a big fat bloke I told Brandon to make a face in the face of someone who had been told they were the culture icon no that’s not that we were waiting along with you I’m scared yeah we’re waiting on Steve Levy
can we get a a pillow for Steve he’s just like hanging out and health care how nice because I thought it was a good observation conservatives act like socialism is the opposite of capitalism but their own perception of poor people as inherently socialist because they expect their Pursuit of Happiness to generate so much revenue that even the people they fucked over have left the game by slitting our throats that’s one big fucking Federal program and that funding just got cut because people are mad and there’s going to get sick and they’re getting sick of both parties and where it where do real fucking emergency situation here like this in the beginning this Healthcare thing seems like something you’ve been hearing about your whole life but the the the thresholds that have been crossed now are like so fucking official like like a it’s like it it really is let them eat cake like feudal Europe level shit like like to say that because underneath all this stuff people a
they’re arguing about math and Concepts and philosophies because no one is going to Prophet or live through the day by saying what’s really happening which is rich people are just saying what times are tough all over a living long is a is a luxury it’s like cable TV Tesla’s going to college if you want those things are you should work really fucking hard or get really lucky and that’s what capitalism is it like I don’t see why you people are bitching so much and why would you have to pay for your your AIDS in your cancer I went to Fiji was like the life expectancy of the people that work by the pool is like fucking twenty years less than that in spite of the Great Water I love their wives for their water
if you look at third world countries that have resorts in him and stuff it’s just like Dad is the way that you’re Republican Congressman see the future like they they don’t see a problem with the idea that being poor should equate to a 20-year less lifespan lake lake lake and that’s what really being said to you right now is Enough Said nuff like like like we lived in la la land a long enough of this idea that that everyone was going to have coverage if you get cancer in your poor then you’re going to die that’s bad as the real conversation is happening and I don’t know why I’m lecturing you like you don’t know that but I’m just saying like like like I just want to say it out loud cuz like some of us I think we’re walking around guy is that what’s really being said right now or is it because we’re so used to this chatter of like you’re so it’s so just said the blah blah blah blah because it’s called this Senator it’s like we kind of like are still in this mode we’re calling each other out on semantics but we’ve gotten to a point where the semantic
don’t matter the actual fundamental thought that’s being communicated to us is that they actually think that you should die they’re actually telling you to fuck off and die and and they’re saying it in different ways and people are at Town Hall is going you’re telling us to fuck off and die we see you we hear you that’s what you’re saying and they’re running out of the Town Hall in hiding and they just they just did this thing anyway that’s why they’re saying like they’re just they’re just doing what they were going to do anyway it’s fucking insane have no Solutions as usual
resist we have Solutions do you know how much harder it is to do what they just done for the last two months that it is to call for impeachment like a Google Bill Clinton impeached like like like they fucking know how to do this shit Democrat Republican Congress people know how to move to impeach it’s not that difficult like like and everyone is just stay there just hold overs from a different time I don’t know what to do do we grab pitchforks where they’re killing us or kill us we continue to monetize the Democratic push for 2018 we take Congress backed legislation that’s the great thing about America’s that anyone in this room could write a bill and then push it started or state level so we are kind of fun but we do outnumber them there is hope we are learning am I right are we learning how to make a house out here in California is specially because we have one of the largest GDP in the world
call to number six like yeah number six guys six that’s pretty good actually commands a lot of power, California that I can California secede we can function only succeed by being the oldest state in the Union that’s in the black say is is right on the money this is secession people I mean come on we’re not going to say nothing they say to to let’s talk about these issues and my producing partner came up with a great idea as long as you were doing
I have a part as always I have a partner to
he is doing a he’s right he’s having a lawyer drop a ballot initiative right now to rid California’s pension fund of all everything it’s not ssris socially responsible Investments and that wolf
the whole world if we do that you know what I mean
respiratorio and largest GDP in the country’s top is investing in oil and tobacco and and things like that then that will send a message that’s the only way to have the rest of the country give a fuck about us I wish there was a way to California can have its own health care so California will eventually have its own help like help plant system so I know I know that people are really trying like he said Rob of making California be the place that people learn how to do things across the country and that can happen cuz we’re sort of light-years ahead of the country as we speak
liberal version of the iron bank in Game of Thrones that we are just like that it would every state that starts to go bankrupt because of free market and deregulation and then and there rivers start to be filled with bloodthirsty scorpions like they come to us and we come out and robes and go like well let’s open the books like three congressmen that are Nazis like I don’t think that’s a good investment for us I recall it was you back to your people and have some rallies and clean up your date because we have an election coming up in California doesn’t want to live in shit land you’ve failed to legalize marijuana is that true but you know California, numbers like what are the three out of 10 people in your Trader Joe’s like secretly voted for Trump Trader Joe’s in Los Angeles
they did Trader Joe’s at the Inland Empire Trader Joe’s so I can garlic stuffed mess what the heck
organic is it that we had such a great time didn’t we were having a great time at such a good time we’re having a good time are you are you you’re not a trump supporter but you but you’re you’re better off now because we’re energized yeah I now you know you’re involved
oh man
I don’t mean to interrupt you start receiving to a position of they’re going to go we’re just rip the cons like we needed some shaking up and we were right about that and I can’t wait to spit in their face and like I told Bernie Hillary holdover it’s it’s the socialist versus the the Liberals like what this thing is like the Republican Party decimated and then repair right now they’re like you chewing through their greed there like coalescing a guy like that at the end of the day we love money
and they’re and they’re they’re solidifying ends of Democrats are going like remember that thing you said on that March motherfuker
being dangerous further fragmentation Little Weapon if they can assist conundrum where you like you want to fight the Death Star and there’s no better way to do it it seems by then by constructing a bigger space station that can destroy our planet and how do you do that except well we should have more black in our costumes and we should play Glock with a season that we didn’t I take the left didn’t know how fragmented it was it is I think a lot of people on that side assumed that we’d gotten past some things like racism a massage me and we’re learning about ourselves I think is that there’s still a lot of bulshit in our own party so it’s hard for us to come together I hope it’s called fucking
politics and democracy because if the issues are super fundamental and you’re fighting for things that are as fundamental as like almost like people should have water then that means the Warrior fighting is between the armies so big a huge majority of the people fighting side-by-side with you were going to be fucking stupid because most people are dumb so if you’re waiting for a political party that’s going to 1B all smart people and to Wayne
then you’re a fucking idiot that’s just on the sidelines like Statler and Waldorf just going like
play that anymore like I used to be one of those guys you don’t like what I was like I was like a fucking like weird third-party the guy and now I’m like fucking tucked out and then like I’ve lived up and get gem gem down and Hillary
your leg I don’t know man I’m just because I’m just like fucking we get it cuz I took me of my fragile straight white like like eggshell was so if I just keep sitting here and going you know why that doesn’t make sense that if I keep doing that I’m going to end up living in a universe controlled by lizard people and then that’s no good for my smuggling neither I’m not just going to keep going end of the movie I need to like actually like notarize she and I don’t know what the hell you supposed to do is to make in a bed okay I’m sorry I keep flickering
starburns with it at the castle you know this is one room where we take will it will be streaming the show and then as things go from bad to worse will keep meeting here on Sunday in Burbank and it’s right off of all the freeway so like the apocalypse like rain storm with my plan is and don’t abuse this don’t tell anybody outside this room I want to get an RV and start Damnation Alley any connects in the garage next door said that like and then we used it we started this podcast we’re going to maybe we should go to the moon but like this is more like we need them we’re going to run over some giant scorpion
like like we need to stockpile weapons and then and then ups for human minesweepers I’m going to drag my family up to starburns Castle like somehow we got to get here that’s going to be the movie that weed we can have like if we can have a fleet of automobiles over there that are all like have like the baby spend less on the grill a bunch of fans to Los Feliz and Silver Lake and then we just Caravan and I guess we get stuck in traffic and then we’re going to be the army ever so much as I’ll tell you one thing the the blowjob instructor is going to turn it is going to make men out of these mice
what is an under culture of the Colbert coccyx thing that’s good too that’s please please come and get them I’m already here bassador
we were having a conversation I don’t know if the Colbert thing happened we were here last week and I happen to mention it cuz we are Rob and I are constantly saying we suck dick can you suck dick and suck a dick and die I’m trying to remove all of the gay is stupid gang is lame gay derogatory stuff for my regular parlance it’s it’s it’s D I catch myself but I see that I see the hurt in that and I are trying to I’ve been that I recognized him like two same-sex corrupt politician whose relationship you’re trying to satirize for it’s inappropriate level of intimacy in spite of not supposed to be connected like to say they’re sucking each other’s dicks are you are you how much homophobia parts per million are you smelling in that because I don’t think it should be fine
homophobic or that’s not I want to respect the gay person that would say you know what that smells pretty much like you hate gay people in your hiding behind a couple of technical things like a like a like a date on the thing but it is kind of a Puzzler cuz it’s like whoa I could definitely see if you if your car breaks down and you say my car sucks dick
I think that that’s way on the other side of a line that I’ve learned to recognize their like what I think you’re saying your car is gay because it broke down but you said your cue card doesn’t lie don’t like your car and your your tweeting that with the car the engaging and so much more evolved than I am
eBay weed eater words by the way the doors ever consciously employing for those purposes but it’s just like you but then we’re all taking a load of another look through them when I looked through them again I was like yeah yeah you said if you say like like I would sit in the community edit band I’d go like I’ll get rid of that shot that’s fucking gay and then like after a while like somebody told me the editor was gay and I was like what the fuck I apologize I was like by the way I’m so sorry I drove in the 70s in the Midwest and I think I’ve been saying I think I’ve been saying that a lot of shit is gay when I mean it’s bad and I’m really sorry about that and I was actually still at the time I was going like oh I violated protocol and then but then he said in accepting my apology because I’m glad you apologize because when I hear that word I go back to a playground in my head where I was finding out I was different and
finding out that was a bad thing and then the people in control of me could like just make me feel bad for whoever so then I’m like okay I’m not going to put this and then there’s just been out this new frontier of like wall Colbert said implied that Trump is sucking on Putin’s Cox there’s as big to characterize the level of corrupt relationship between them is that still do we have to do we have to hedge we do it weed wacker we do typically your boundaries about homosexuality in your community is so worship gay people

we do love you RuPaul we love you maybe it’s that the ACT started with women that makes us start their necessarily even starting with J servicing a cock and all you got a game and it’s like oh you were the weaker person because you use slobber on my naber were so sexist that it makes us homophobic but then it but then I don’t know this isn’t a technical issue but I don’t know how else to talk about it other than that but it’s at like two guys so someone getting their dick sucked and it’s not the stronger person necessarily there is no inherent just say to politicians that happened to be mail neither of them has a vagina Trump wasn’t of course wasn’t going to vote that way in the UN cuz of course he’s all up in his butt or you stuck in Putin’s cock is it
a great deal of respect for people who suck cock to begin with that joke wouldn’t play well because we always always put down the person he was eating her out whenever we do exactly what I say all the prime minister of this is like eating her pussy like we don’t say that right
I need to hear a man talk about how he got a deal on a car or I to get a deal on a house in front of his wife or his girlfriend because you got front-row that motherfuker
you are a person who sucks my dick and that’s word fucking starts if we have handled it and it’s the shittiest thing about shit like that is that is motherfukers with just handle their shit we could go back to telling the full wide range of jokes
taxes are homophobic the material that we can park which would be amazing to Richard Pryor’s face in a sketch on SNL break I’m not saying we peeked progressively there I like that’s our that’s our goal but we were we were we were we were
we were more races to buy are definitions now but we were also comedic leibold her that’s that isn’t likely Goods it’s different from Sinatra and the Rat Pack like abusing Sammy is if he was that not a human being like we look at the sixties, did Don Rickles said this or that but then he’d say we all love each other it’s like the idea of the experimentation the fascination people like like saying look cards on the table I don’t understand this or that or that that area I think that’s what really scared as comedic Lee philosophical threatened some kind of deep State and it’s a money train is back in the day it was 73 monetize talking about race and gender and rape and things like that like we want money but we don’t want money by alienation so they’re there are more likely to turn of a product that is appeasing to all people that doesn’t started controversy in the seventies they were like there’s money in controversy
I called my girlfriend the n-word constantly act like that
Call Wifey love that one is so great I look within myself but it’s like I think I only we do with my girlfriend and I do so much fucked-up shit that we could that I could never share no matter how honest he got like the things that we say when we have sex the things did we get up to the things they find the what might my relationship with McCarthy was very public it was a public marriage was a public divorce it was a public like we were we were pretty transparent about every thought and feeling we had and then with with Cody it’s like well Cody doesn’t want to be on a podcast and when we we like we’re private like we appreciate the concept of privacy
then I would call her that when we were tired I was like like do you want to get a sandwich but you know like
I know that words aren’t magical but I but I think the difference is like when you hear the things that we get up to in public or talking when were communicating in public the purpose of languages to share each other’s minds and to avoid misunderstanding and so when we have arguments about technical rules about language in public we’re kind of defeating the purpose of language which is to be understood in to gain each other’s trust like we did that and that’s another thing that I like that where I used to be a different kind of guy I used to be this whole like if somebody said this word or that word is like should be taken off the menu I would immediately leap to the place of this is a slippery slope and First Amendment you have to be able to express yourself but it’s like overtime hey maybe maybe I get tired and sold out and whatever but I think it’s more like we’ll wait a minute we were never talking about legality nobody that ever said that this word offends me ever wanted to actually pass a lot keeping you from being able to say anything they’re only saying this hurts me
and that their First Amendment right in like that that’s the beautiful thing about language is someone being able to reach out to you and say when you say the word pickle my dad hit me with pickles and causes a reaction you don’t have to you don’t have to be like you piece of shit you have to fuck face
put your hands up
it said no one is touching and I was trying to take your words away there is a let some one person and they might not
telling you a dummy they might be entitled piece of shit but also in addition to that gets hurt when you hear the word pick who they love the joy of being hurt by things be there
the button the larger truth is you can keep saying the word pickle all you want there’s a like
I use that word all the time I’m sorry
I interrupted the traffic going to keep going keep going
turn it over to you guys I think I look at that whole thing and I was like I think everybody played it right I mean I don’t think I think I think anybody has taking fire Colbert is kind of dumb I think that’s really stupid because that’s not going to solve anything and you’re actually not speaking you’re not you’re not using your I statements you’re not saying I think a hashtag like I don’t let you know I’m gay and that hurts my feelings and act like you’re like a town of I personally I don’t like the smell it and then check it out but we have to get over that mob mentality 2 because there’s a lot of people that deserve respect of the shouldn’t be required to have a million people marching before we give them our respect anyways
Colbert said it is horrible criminal president was offensive he was and ended now he’s not entitled to his own feelings and he can get up and have a hissy fit whenever he doesn’t feel comfortable at an interview because he’s a fucking piece of human garbage and when cold air gets upset needs his words have power and things in the midst of that he said like oh it’s called you was like I used words that were more harsh than maybe they should have been but I would have said I’d say it again I do the thing that I did again I do use the word cock holster right
which is hilarious
yeah and it’s like we’re the trolls now that’s the important thing like we’re the ones that are disenfranchised in and like one power that we should have is the power to say things that get attention I don’t know talks said that’s not all that’s not all thing that’s what they do Republicans are good at that stuff. But that side so whenever we get back to them we look stupid it’s not our thing we’re not good at firebombing we’re not good at excluding we’re not good at being racist and prejudiced so we shouldn’t try to do that shift that’s what fuck them up if he was trying to play their game we kind of have to remember don’t do that
Let’s Make a Deal that we have to figure out some way that has to be like a product we can sell a CafePress that’s a little Brandon little tickle for white writers
it’s your angry Brandon writing coach
that’s what that’s what that’s what that’s what you’re you’re privileged fragile white Rider needs is a little magical Mentor like
anger Vance him into writing in his dream journal
it was real good cuz it was blinking and I you know Phyllis plug it back in. What have you been up to
we’re just going to fucking do a 180 right into my life. I know Jeff Davis he would have been a job return write to me how are you getting drunker and drunker you haven’t had anything to drink light beer for 4 p.m.
America exactly exactly I don’t start drinking until 4 mostly 5 but then be bleeding before 4:33 where in the five
you don’t have to be any place if I was in
why do we get that’s a good one why don’t we just start thinking about it what’s going on with you you should have been riding me in playing that I don’t have good time management skills as they treat us well even kind of writing me tonight
why don’t you do that now you’re doing that I don’t remember this better be good, I’m glad you’re talking about that
paid $5 came to Burbank now you talking about that
Southfield that’s how it feels. You just got to deflect him off of you stop doing that to Brandon
winter like somebody doesn’t have to talk to her oh yeah I know I can’t get enough
it sounds like sarcasm no it’s not that’s not sarcasm
I mean look at Jeff fucked us he’s right out there somewhere because he’s a bad person and so far it was me burning it at all too well in Hale it now and it but now it’s gone yeah I’m going to I’m going to skip it I’m not going to I’m going to be a hundred percent like I felt like what gay analogy you’re gay gay gay evacuation in a diatribe to get out it sucks so much dick
gloomy like a 32-year old girlfriend that’s Ferris wheel was so gay oh my God man in the world is totally fucking me up we will be there yet because my God or apps you’ll be able to like we always act like we advance but the truth is like but they’re going to invent some product build it just makes you cool with so I can D thing and then and then we’re all going to look down on the cavemen that we were there’s a song called Me & My Bitch which is derogatory but it’s kind of sweet cuz it kind of pulls it up
from my notoriously big I recommend can’t wait it says she looks so good I suck on your daddy’s dick
a strong and maybe I guess I’m racist for asking you this question
has there been a strong gay rapper like like like like who MC
I am I when did I rip a name of a gay rapper in thinking that that would land with you but happy you said you might have broken new story. I didn’t know I was Frank Ocean
and there’s nobody Freddie Mercury
Freddie Mercury that’s like cheerleading history like was he openly gay when he know I know I know I know that I know how they dress there but I also Judas Priest was the same way and that leave me my mom did not know Queen was gay but like like
he was like this
there is no it was possible to that I don’t know if Freddie Mercury was was he openly gay when he was when he was like topping the charts
just like like like like that but what was his name start helping like the truth is that it was like a weird thing like it’s always been that way like you have Paul Lynde in the Hollywood Squares and he’s just going like this way. He’s so silly and grandmother had one of her best friends was named Donald I don’t remember his last name he’s dead he’s long dead but he was a confirmed Bachelor people called gay people back then let it go Batman I don’t know if it made the final cut her if I sound like an animatic that didn’t let the other than Lego Batman Batman
does the Alfredo has Batman suggest you settle down and talk to you I don’t know what that was that in the movie in the theater will release her today like did that just make it right to the end and then like you can’t
there will be certainly someone will come out of the closet
just trying to get it started
fucking ass and Takin same-sex names
all right well weave weave weave weave certainly done our share of show these get these kids have jobs in the morning Congress is we’ve got to get these kids home I believe I believe there’s a there’s a lot of Ruin where you don’t get time-and-a-half anymore I think so they got to get up bright and early cuz I have to work three times as long as it makes a lot of money I still get paid for coming to the show anymore
close the show with an amazing improvised musical thing that I’m very passionate about and totally sober enough to do
yes yes
wakey wakey wakey wakey wakey leaks
I’m a gay rappers
I have to walk a lot of lines
I’ve got to be tough but I can’t sell out
imma give you the rapper
what does that mean
me a j male rapper I want to get up in the morning with a partner that I love and respect and he’s a man but I don’t respect them because that’s the thing so rapper be like
like all these dick suck all these bucks dudes without are nuts nuts nuts I’m a candy wrapper
I feel like a million bucks don’t care about any of the butt cuz I’m a gay rapper
I don’t know
just that further stereotypes of gay promiscuity does it do anything to weigh how much do I have to be I don’t know
what’s a good question
if you can’t be like wake up in the morning to cook you food cuz I’m in a good mood cuz I’m gay
those curtains got to go away
stereotype that so I think I’d be like I don’t do a lot out of the ordinary
I went to the library today but I didn’t read about being gay
cuz I know what that’s like it’s like getting your bike taken by a motherfuking Porsche taken to Sucker MCs
call Dave you know what that’s like a rapper I grew up the different I’m tired of you because I’m here than you that’s a gay rapping and also better at dancing that’s a stereotype
but it’s about black people. About gay people
is it racist and homophobic to say I’m a gay rapper I danced twice as well
that would be a dangerous area so you stay out of it you say I’m a rapper I cut down a tree today I took my shirt off non-binary way I drink a glass of lemonade and hung out a list real good to both sexes wielding two axes, I’m going to go to your house and your children and their states with me
even though I have a gold tooth I’ll tell you the truth before I suck dick I’m going to do it from 9 to 6 whole time I don’t want to get paid double time Congress or you going to let you down to do what did you do did you get your butt with my dick make you sick
so rich
you’re my bitch
but not in a derogatory way
unless you’re not gay
is it beginning I’m fucking you it’s empowering to
I’m a rapper
a rapper I love to make love to the same sex with me and I still have the blow and I still don’t know what it means to grow into fight everything that you don’t know is my enemy
why’d you buy them up because I was drunk
as she was trying to force me into a bucking mainstream template she made me hate myself with my sexuality on the Shelf every time you say I’m gay. I’m going to go lateral today
I’m a rapper I put your mama on the Shelf I am a Christmas elf delivered a present called my dick if she looked at it and said what’s that
because your mom is gay
and she told me she was comfortable telling me it’s called disenfranchisement
when you marginalize of people you’re you not going to get the true that the Steel Pulse tickets going to happen and clutches people go behind your back and hutches as a gossip has a cat never going back
my pants look at my charms
working on the farm rating Towing feeding the pigs
Katie brister
working the land making plants grow
will work on it still working on you stereotype
what do you think about that Spencer oh it’s great seems like you’re being sarcastic no not at all
she had a good time I had a great time
seems like you’re being sarcastic sarcastic McKeever and in the back doing all the audio and and Chris burrous and I don’t get good at thank everybody that helps on the show cuz those are but I only know her first name and so she just wants to be called Sarah now so that’s cool I know but my dad and I’m going to learn her last name so I thanked her by default all the time
you say Sarah Sarah so say it twice the show over
second a hard out
what’s your heart out I got to go play Minecraft
I got a celebrity tennis tournament at 12:30
I hope that gay rappers do flu see you next wait wait no next week I think I’m gone I’m going to Cody’s birthday I’m going to Mexico and Mexico to celebrate birthday
I guess when we come back maybe Jeff will be back
maybe won’t
push Jeff out of the show where I started with you well drive safe don’t expect somebody visuals next time I got kind of bored with it
Watertown program we love you
please if you see Jeff Davis tell him we miss him so much


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