Episode: 247 – Everything is Sexy When You Trust Someone


Episode: 247 – Everything is Sexy When You Trust Someone


Jeff Davis returns with a fantastic reprise of the classic “Pringles Dick”. Brandon Johnson passes the comptroller torch back to Jeff. Dan, Jeff, Spencer and Steve Levy create characters for their new D&D campaign! Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Davis, Spencer Crittenden, Brandon Johnson, Steve Agee and Steve Levy.


I’ll be rolling everybody going to start
I was gone for far too long but now I’m back
I was gone for too long the Comptroller was black
but now I’m back
some people call me bingos I don’t never really found out why I don’t really have a Pringles back I just keep my dick and I keep my dick inside of Pringles can because it keeps my penis safe and drive
people call me Pringles
some people call me Pringles they never found out why I don’t really have a Pringles can I keep my dick inside of Pringles can because it keep my penis safe and drive some people call me Pringles
I never really found out why
beautiful Uptown Burbank parmesan and salad station
pressure cooker
I don’t know if I’m in town. I miss you so much sister Jan Harmon
she left your shit every where should I put this back further out or should I say you know what I was talking about thank you guys for coming out thanks for coming to the Burbank 644 living in Burbank if you if you live here and I can borrow for the pencil
there’s a little bit of official business I’ll let you know I we we I mean we’ve been we’ve been getting this venue up and running and
we eat and we can’t be an official we can’t we can’t sell you booze so great that we have to give it to you for that so that’s why I love that about Society is that it had its legally has to be free if you need to read books to my Pringles then
but it’s like free-flowing a hard liquor place but I don’t think I don’t think that’s the problem is it as you know if you’re here live we had to start checking your bags tonight now here’s your coming here to listen to me complain about our descent into Fascism and now you have to pretty soon there’s going to be metal detectors out there what can I say about Burbank it’s a tougher Hood man we’ve got a big week we can fit a lot of you in here there’s there’s a free spirit we’re anarchists we love we love no rules somebody’s got something to say that they say it excetera and but you know so now it’s like okay how do we co-exist as a civilization getting shit-faced like if you if you just brought stuff maybe it’s illegal for me to say this but if you just brought stuff and you could see there you go you could get her two shirts and be right there falling over
but like I caught I mean just anecdotally there were there were a couple of guys apparently last episode one or maybe one before that I can’t remember but you know we just have your security people they don’t they didn’t sign up to do any heart surgery or you know as soon as you got because they were just shit-faced like walking into walls and and then what they went out as a pair and one of them their official report on our side was that he turned to Jell-O he fell to the floor and started pissing and shitting himself and couldn’t get up his friend took off running because he had a $50,000 warrant
so so thank you for letting us check your purse it it it it’s not you it’s those two
also it’s like I’m sorry if I caught you off-guard cuz it’s like what maybe have weed in your person you like what is this the fucking thing and it has been people like like smoking and in inside here to take it’s all it’s all if you just run the run it through the flowchart of like is it in my hurting anyone around me and I interfering with anyone else is good time it which also doubles as when a cop comes in here is this place going to get shut down because that that that sheet everybody so in order to keep honest people honest so you can’t forget to check your bags and stuff but this is I’m not looking at this is this is this is our chance to explore how societies began I’m sure minus the electronics this is basically equivalent to the first Thanksgiving right
I said I love you I understand you make houses out of Buffalo look we love it but I don’t know
but you’ve got a we’ve got to accept these smallpox that’s called a social contract
but anyways that’s that so if any of you are missed by that just that you can continue to be missed by that I’m not telling you to not be missed by any invasion of your stuff but it’s like we’re just we’re just doing what we can to bottleneck the inhumanity so that everybody can have a good time this is Jeff back hello
I miss you guys
it’s a long time I’ve been enjoying listening to the show that Brandon did a bang-up job Brandon is amazing
I kind of felt like
not nervous to come back but I felt like maybe the kids stolen everybody’s Hearts away and I got it I got it all so he wasn’t. It’s a nice day shut up now there’s going to be a wireless environment up here it’s going to be like going to an Apple keynote pretty soon one day I’m going to be I’m going to come I’m going to come out in a turtleneck or maybe maybe a turtle and a half neck I just I just wrote that
pretty awesome turtle and a half neck my ukulele inspired the Devon Dale Showbiz guy inside you something real quick because we were testing the equipment and you know so you no harm and try to strike a balance between the you know you don’t want to turn it into a TV show cuz the people listening but that doesn’t preclude like the music stuff so I got my
I got my GarageBand in you got your ukulele and then
oh yeah I mean if you want yeah
yeah I’ve been enjoying if you guys have not treated yourself to Dan’s Garage Band like a little Instagram videos are pretty pretty tasty yeah you can really find out what it’s like to hear Dan sing about pooping oh oh what are you what are you talkin about you say oh well I guess since I open GarageBand I might as well play one of my songs
I think you should hit if you got a new one for this is a classic
you aren’t following
where do you come from other people
wow what I did for my bean Kodi somewhere right in the middle of equidistant between Lenny Kravitz and Abba
with a lengthy stop at George Michael’s filling station
where you come from where other beans grow
you should have a fucking record you can have a record that I’m going to see a logical maybe produce my number one is he going to regret becoming friends with me before he became the number one hip-hop artist
I like to I like texting him everyday I’m like what do you think of this please like you grew a lot because you started sucking dad’s know those that’s that’s great I tried I tried everything you know
alright well but yeah but okay so this is my new thing is garage because you don’t have to be good at it like I don’t have a hobby for me now I can really lose myself in it so you were telling me a good pork chord progression is it doesn’t have the cgf is good to okay well so I’m learning as people are paying to watch I’m learning as people are paying to watch that’s fine that’s fine
butts up on the screen really worth watching album Hard it gets a bit but if you rub them really soft
but you said you didn’t have it you could
7 whatever that is
oh man Gigi a 7D
I just was telling you to metronome right give me a beat
can you find National peel a beet in their name to be
I’m a I’m a fucking Tommy Lee
I’ll wait I thought okay wait no wait how come you get a drummer okay drummer that’s what I need. Okay you want you want Leah here
is at 2 is that to Silver Lake for you would you like me to change Leah I can change Leah to the Jade mister
I don’t need you I don’t need your parents divorce involved in my song
Maurice looks like he’s wearing glasses
I don’t know all these people are too
that beat really screams ukulele
you know what you know who I missed Leah
sorry Leah I didn’t mean to Everest re okay so there’s a there’s a heartbeat and then it is
this recorded
it’ll give us account in and then we’ll record it we made 100 of the song
no this is about a half the time I spent on my Instagram songs all right
Freeport Beach
8th Avenue
what kind of mount Shavano
I didn’t know I was still in there alright well.
What are summits
How come every time you come around and give it to your mom and daddy come around how come the beach
can I bring my car where they become Loreena hey now it’s a game huh
how come every time
Smash Mouth you got to smash your mouth like I just met your mama’s house going to walk in the Sun and I got to finish your math I’m going to cover the rent. If I get my my house going to make it in town all they all that Glitters is gold a little talk to your mama so I’m addicted bold your dad going to do it
Hyundai on the eve of the Wonder Woman box office
when man is better than man when and
better than men how come women are so much better than men how come women are better than men does it matter what nobody saying if the cords are playing everything do you have to sing along with the cords that go I can you just sing to and fro
yes or no
where are they
Walmart I’ll just get those strings right now we’ll move on it
because I’m not okay
double d That’s What get you every time
that’s that’s the one
what time is Ryan Stiles so much right now I’m is Brandon look at Brandon
god dammit that was hilarious
I love that last bit where you at
back everybody
and I can go back to being a bit disgraced Alderman of harmontown I was afraid to come back so I can only tell you about big shoes to fill fucking had no idea what goes on Thursday is the only you to know how to talk about
I like those loafers by the way you look amazing the chain with the jacket I can’t wear brown shoes that look like
so much has changed since you left
he hates it so much, there’s one episode one of the journalists that were from like that I’ve been overseas and you kept asking them questions that you were really drunk or have you interviewed them you kept asking questions and then answering their question for them
and I came up with a new term what it’s called Dance planning
I told you I’m a good interviewer
I thought it was a good show I don’t care
it was there a fascinating so I heard it being radically I heard a psychology there was a podcast about emotions that I saw that said that there’s a woman who’s like the leading Rockstar of emotional psychology right now but it’s really weird because she’s kind of counterintuitive they’re like her she realizes herself that her her series and findings actually fly in the face of any support for like the kind of the safespace trigger anything in that feeling things don’t happen to you they’re not uncontrollable things I don’t quit I was kind of like half asleep I was listening to the podcast but I was like kind of like like we only who I don’t know who figured it out what what how do you measure this and who do you know is talking out of their ass when they I guess that’s why you have to look at like like like certification and stuff and then credentials but
according to her there’s only really for actual honest emotional states for human that you start with and I think it’s Pleasant cut Pleasant or unpleasant aroused and I can’t remember a Groupon I don’t ever remember that I can remember the fourth one is even schwifty but it’s not it’s not jealous and I can’t remember what it is but it’s like basically the either way that there’s only really 8notes there’s not there’s only four feelings but then we
we depending culturally like if you’re in ancient Sparta and then you have to have a certain attitude towards murder death manhood Womanhood Etc if you are then are you go down the street to ancient Athens and they’re bad they’re they’re working on the streets and and then date they have all of that stuff all the stuff that we call out rage or jealousy or sadness or rage like we’re actually just those are all social constructs that we’re we’re creating that were told were indoctrinated into them so when you’re a kid on the playground and someone steals your fire truck toy you feel probably I would guess unpleasant about that and then your parents tell you or the kids taking your firetruck tells you or somehow you get the signal you’re told I know you’re angry right now what you’re feeling is called anger and it has to do with fire trucks being taken away from you and so you learn that the same way you learned language
but there’s very few uncontrollable emotions like you just kind of you have a pretty mellow four-part quartet of almost indistinguishable kind of states of emotion that you then
put herself was saying like I know this is awful because she’s a liberal in her in a progressive person that you think this is honestly data that I’m getting bad this is the way it really we really need to look at this even though it actually suggest like well yeah it doesn’t it it it is kind of like the scientific way of saying suck it up buttercup and in certain contacts don’t know I don’t know I guess at the time for the podcast episode they say cuz they’re doing and if I’m if I’m drawing and then I should cite them and I can’t invisibilia that’s the name of the date at the top of the podcast they say we’ve discovered something like that and we’ll get to that later like maybe I think found a tribe of people that steal it can feel a fifth thing I know it sounds absurd but
but Jermaine
bring up my fancy my fancy mind map
we just talked about that
winter showing yeah with a quick stop
when we were doing
mind mapping time with Dan I’m going to the Twitter
Lou I got a perfect Loop
I nailed this Lube this time okay. We’ll get back to that later
I just wanted to nail it I was just like it was like a bike that’s told me like I said earlier I’d damn thing in the check and make sure that he was going to turn the computer on and get through it all get bombarded with mannequin foreign or whatever alright who’s this guy Blind Melon Aid can you fix Dan’s my cat super low and then the music blows my speakers up is that that I would assume that person’s want some of those people that say that sounds way too low and I wonder if they just have broken the sound
oh I’ll be back later, another show did you
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well act like my women do that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film Earth-like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
all right could you please just say fuck Patrick O’Leary I guess I accidentally just did
is that a senator I hope it’s a senator a survivalism question I’d like to ask folks it says Johnny Collins who’s the Twitter name is silver 10-time music I feel Spencer may have some good ideas sorry for the mini Manifesto
oh good God what if a country like we’re going to see my poor in any minute now
he said he’s I don’t know evil is in question I like to ask folks okay so I don’t know it’s up to the bottom I click on that images of Jesus I need you to just tweet just tweet really people you can’t just don’t treat a don’t tweet a link to it saying you’re going to end up that he’s going to you’re going to find out what a jerk off to so fast I guess right now it would be in the chamber and you’re pouring Windows right now I will what will we see if we came across it by accident you want me to tell people the thing I’m worried they’ll know
yeah you could just describe it for us you have to take the power away from them man that is probably just a hoverboard cut Ventures or where he is not a feeling it would be unpleasant for one Split Second of my bookmarks to haunt me for 4 years of political career the scale of 1 to 10 how expensive do you think it would be like a killer like like not the defensive we’re not a sexually Progressive Community I think that I think that we all have little that we gotten since it must be
it doesn’t make sense if this were like clown porn or something that would be a weird speech but remember Riley Reid said incest is best because we’re off because anything that you can think of that’s Taboo it’s like but I see these arguments online where people go like it’s like and you can’t there’s no heroes or villains in the stories but if you’re this is what the internet is doing all of us it’s like creating a lack of context is incredibly damaging to us like that like I like I’ve asked it before but I wish we could like I wish we had like a love connection like private kind of pulling ability which I’ve said years ago so that we can actually asked these folks that come to these shows things that they can answer honestly without any fear that there without having the clap when we say who here wants to fuck a dog you know they can just
but I do want to know kind of from Millennials and then compare that like I kind of Kenzie investigation like Kenzie like I like I like our Millennial was like are they like are they more or less like a taboo in the bedroom like are they are they I mean one person can you yell out more it’s Annie in the front but but but if I mean I know I know that there’s no answer for one generation but then but but did you what you want to aggregate that data and compare it to people twenty years older and go like I don’t know how you measure it but I’m just really curious about that sometimes because I my relationship with Cody I don’t think she’d mind me saying it. We’re very like like we go to dark places like and we do a lot of characters and there’s a lot of narrative work that goes into and it and it happens when it’s like different dialects
why are you ever like Count Dracula or some shit and it was sorry when I ever do table reads as summer people answer the question have you ever been an accident have you ever played like a foreign care. I mean I guess the closest would be I was recently pretty a party high-ranking Catholic so I probably have a lot of Italian friends
I’m at popo shit
or the dude that you do like a Italian accents no no I’m just a person says the stream keep cutting out and they said that 22 minutes ago but I think that it is possible that they might be experiencing we’re not starting the show yet I don’t know who’s alive to tell tonight America why aren’t you up on stage yet okay see that it wouldn’t have killed you to return my text
Rob is trolling us from outer space right now
play Seether
prefect Vape Shop I’ll look at it as a fucking asshole he is every Thursday we’re supposed to hang out we have it in our schedules we’re old men like we know we’re busy so we only hang out if we schedule it so we schedule it every Thursday Harmon and try to hang out so then he goes I go I go yeah we were we were going to try to catch up on Twin Peaks like that cuz I have showtime and he’s cheap like I was like hey Will what about Twin Peaks because I thought you canceled tonight isn’t when did you think that he’s I got an email saying tonight is cancelled I’m like what and he sends me a screen grab the clearly he’s just confused it’s like one of those Auto emails that get sent because Levy schedules are Hangouts and it said it says updated invitation weekly Shriver hang and it for the following week cuz I’m going
out of town for Cody’s mom’s birthday so he sends it and this is the biggest dick move he says that and you can tell he just saw it as he sends it so are you getting that he sees the date for for next week and and then he says I got this too
but I couldn’t decide what he’s trying to see what I’m saying he said I thought you canceled tonight I’m like what and he’s like how about this and then what he looks like that too but there’s no first thing I gave just to fucking idiot and I said I said alright whatever I’ll play video games and he said he’s coming over if you want to come here and I said that email is about next weekend when you noticed that you said I also got this but I never saw an email canceling tonight any straps that I deleted it already

then another text just come over then finally a third text I made a mistake too late
then a fourth text where are you with four? I one is what that means
and then aging I have our pants off like whatever you know like
yeah well he’s just trying to be do you know he’s trying to make me miss him by being fun and I know you going to come up here
better shirts off not our pants
did you have fun because I felt like
I just started playing video watch but I never look Homeland Drive
Ida Ida I’d I said I said we were supposed to watch fire walk with me because you know that’s what David Lynch recommends if you’re going to watch anything to catch up before you start watching Twin Peaks fire walk with me and I and I I suggested to shrimp so should we watch fire walk with me first and eat in in it and he was like maybe he was saying that he said what does that have to do with anything are we at with the results it was every week should we get together and watch Citizen Kane and then she hears what the fuck I thought the point was to watch Twin Peaks they go to need to David Lynch said watch fire walk with me so I can do it right dick
sick of his bullshit right now at any any fucked up you know. You got to ring what is writing to you or what’s he writing
that Dan read a couple of those I really want you to watch fire walk with me it would be a very good thing to do if you’re going to what I’m saying what’s Right Said Fred he’s raining he’s rainbow you put toast on my dried it will you come visit me on my deathbed and I was probably the first one
and how do you like them apples he hashtag how
are you and Rob schrab friends in real life
he’s funny when he’s not here it’s amazing
at least you know you’re getting $5 of Rob’s money every month who is Darkman he’s asking now
why can’t you start on times as Derek Tuesday sandwich who is Darkman it’s Liam Neeson images on a 2000 yeah sweetie what’s in my pocket Travis asking if you were Liam Mason during the role-play yeah everything sexy everything sexy when you trust someone and you can go anywhere you want I’ll give you can I get a gaseous elements like like like like homework like we suggest characters for you guys when you come back next week and see if you guys can see and studies
I thought somebody had a question about legs the lavish my YouTube channel that I watch which is about women for women reviewing hosiery
but I lost it I want yeah you can tell they definitely it’s it’s it’s about it’s about it’s just women doing hose reviews it’s not pornography
all right I mean are you excited for the mummy remake
I know they’re trying to start up the dark burst the Dark Universe Universal monsters that I am Hotel Marvel Academy show turns to ship
Brandon what did you let happen up here I said we should do whatever you were going to do in your basement and now this is the running order of the show we make love sweet played in Eric Bana been doing when he would normally do his reading tweets he’s playing video games
would you say sorry
I’ve never seen somebody take a look up why wait a month
One Look by wait a month
cookie collector what are you going to do later
I guess we lost audio at some point I don’t know
hahaha nothing happening just a 45 year old is playing video games on stage
so glad your back neither see nor hear us to minute breaks it is now to check on my Marvel Avengers characters like what I mean it’s like a it’s a it’s a game it’s like you know what about AG’s new movie
you have my movie
my movie star of Guardians of the Galaxy 2 movie
thank you what is what’s findom addendums where you hire a woman to have all your money in Twitter name is Steven index yeah that’s his fetish Dan I’m worried my fetish is going to ruin my life any thoughts advice for beating an addiction to findom and similar fettes seems like a stupid fetish
I mean what I say but you know that that’s a stupid fetishes
yeah but what if it would have but what if that made you come what if what if giving someone all your money made you come that’s how I feel and ask.
He obviously knows that is so he’s crying out for help even if he’s doing a bit like this this person exists hypothetically I know it’s going to be a more productive cuz you know I got to get back to work yeah you eventually want to know again I got it I got to go out there and make that money I would suggest to the person with absolutely no judgment at all I would say like you know do what you would do
if you were locked in a room you know when you’ve you couldn’t you couldn’t live like a bit yet you don’t like it like it like quitting smoking you know like you if you were locked in a room without your cigarettes you wouldn’t. So I guess you just got to figure out a way you have to take an action you got a really handcuff yourself to a radiator werewolf style and it’s never going to be the right time to do it like I got off the elliptical and I’m never going to get back on until I just do it at the wrong time you got to you got to do got to tell those young ladies on your on your window no you cannot have my money and I refused to talk about it and even give it back here’s a pitch we bring your elliptical to the show you do 20 minutes of the show on the Olympic that’s a great idea that’s not a great idea
Venture doesn’t like guys don’t understand what it involves to move that elliptical places where there is an idea
let’s see I mean it look I mean I’m not the one that I’m happy to talk about it lots of stuff I got some movie recommends I don’t feel at home in this world anymore and check it out on Netflix what is this thing of these branches going off of semi map this list app called I thought it’s I’m not sold on it right away but it’s a 90’s movie it it’ll make you feel don’t make you feel better I know it will make you feel sad cuz cuz it’s like there’s no internet yet but it’s like about hacking and it’s fun and there’s a Russian guy in it that’s why did you watch the key and River Phoenix is in it I was watching it I was like God damn you know all due respect to everyone in Tinseltown. I hope this isn’t for real
after River Phoenix died you know DiCaprio’s agent called him called the caprianos like River Phoenix died and DiCaprio bummer
it wasn’t so what do you think Gilbert Grape going to take her to say it’s like you can come on man River Phoenix dying was good for DiCaprio is most pieces yeah we’re thinking you think the shampoo murdered him know I wouldn’t go that far I just think you know it’s weird sometimes in the position of cheering someone’s death did you see the keepers yes I’ve been watching the keepers
now I’m in it since it’s insane it’s crazy that we all hate the kids like we hate weekly particular we hate the teenagers we think they’re entitled where we were we were in the back of a lift and there were crossing there was a crossing guard there were two kids going across the crosswalk and then somehow the Lyft driver and did it by mistake like he ended up his car was Rock blocking the crosswalk it wasn’t because he wasn’t looking and plowed into kids it was because of like the ebb and flow of crosswalking this and she ends up stuck at a stop sign and he’s in the middle of a crosswalk and this
10 year old kid comes up to the back seat window of the lift and knocked on the window that dinos at and and and just has this adorable smile on his face but he’s being a knight like me no rules can I help you he’s like can I help you in jail right now. Because I just I don’t know what I would have said I probably go to escalate it but you can walk around the car I believe in you and he’s and he’s like I shouldn’t have to and he’s like you can do it good boy good boy and you just getting on you here in a minute just as God don’t call me boy you an Indian by the way
just to make sure you can children became important at that point I did my opinion because it’s like wait no wait but we like we like those kids though cuz we grow up to be those kids like that little smart-mouth motherfuker was great it was like he had a running bit already on the street that he was willing to fuck with adults on but he’s a future Dan Harmon I hope so but I have a feeling that he’s the future Donald Trump because he’s like this by which I can just yell at people it’s illegal to hit me I think I’ll just wag my dick around
Girl Shake arcades we go to these kids they suck are there so fucking shity in there you know they know they know it’s illegal to hit them now and they just take advantage of it
if you watch the keepers on Netflix which takes you know it’s like this nun is nothing that disappears they find her body and then it all like stretched out in court this is horrible this is happening within the Catholic High School and it’s just like episode after episode story after Story of you can’t believe it sounds like a parallel Dimension the shit that people are getting away with abusing these kids these kids are pubescent girls in an all-girl Catholic school and I was uplifted and I was talking to somebody at the about this the other day cuz they were griping about today’s kids you know like and I was like yeah but if the Whitney’s kids like that Keepers shit it’s impossible now like like you today is 13 year old isn’t going to go into a priest’s office and believe they should just drink a soda or and talk about what a slut they are and not think it’s going to let you know they’re going to that entitlement that
complaining about and stuff it’s like there’s a lake where did The Obedience get us where did the respect for elders like it’s just that it’s always six of one and half a dozen like when you watch the keepers you just wish Ariana Grande’s fans would run into the office and go like I’m entitled because it would be the end of everything and instead this thing goes on and on for so long that you’re just watching old people watch the snowfall over the footprints of their abuse that took that was so severe it took them their entire life before they can even remember it then talk about it then find each other on Facebook then be told by everyone go fuck yourself you took you on to remember it anyways so the good old days weren’t that good it is by the way that studies at these allusions to a mysterious amorphous unsighted Golden Age make America great again but everything was great at some point you’ll never be able to go
get out of a fascist the actual documentation of when it was so fucking great they they love to talk to about like it’s like comic book golden age or something like oh remember when things yet remember when you were six and you thought fucking Santa was real that’s what you’re talking about you want to get back to when you were six fucking bloated when baggage shity murderous horrible
I didn’t do that
and by the way politically let’s check it on my politics ask me where I’m at political e Dan
I’m back to every man for himself I hate everybody sorry if I didn’t realize it that’s it
powder for your feet I’ll swing back with but don’t die. Currently I’m just going to I’m just in this mood currently I don’t believe in liberalism I don’t believe in the Democrats are the back to one of those two douchebags of sitting on the sidelines going to fuck you but it’s just I’m just thinking I just can’t I just feel like everyone’s done we know everyone’s dumb the average IQs 185% of every group of anyone is a fucking moron that can’t make a decision for themselves they say the dumbest shit like we’re just we’re just we’re just it’s just the species has run its course and it just we got to get to the moon or I got to get out of here I’m going to take a hole in the desert just go down like money what happened to the Moon after episode 3
church and what went to the March for truth until 8 yesterday and we were leaving the March and there was this always like six or eight Pro Trump people on a corner usually completely surrounded by police we’re not even allowed to get kind of close to them cuz they’re afraid of what might happen but yesterday for some reason you could walk up to the man like a microphone and a speaker and it was a guy dressed like homeless Ben Franklin he had like 50 build Knickerbocker place for like you know he said he wanted you to connect those dots like the American dream and he had he look like a homeless Ben Franklin
Thomas Ben Franklin Jack’s house to discover a
I know where do you really do but that I have a are you sure this guy was concerned because he was like he was engaging people if you want to come up here I’ll give you the microphone we can have a discussion okay it turns out mostly they shot you down about what your what you think because they’re surrounded by lock her up and you know it like Hillary is like kind of posters that is still on that thing but our church it isn’t it it’s amazing it’s like my car talk about it like she wants to be like this conversation with this woman who has a drum and she had a trump Pence 2020 shirt and hat on but you didn’t vote for Trump but she thinks that it was better but she at church and I’m having a hour-long conversation with said she came away with those really uplifting but surrounded by people I can actually talk in like one of the upshot of it was a woman said you know what this conversation makes me feel like I should call up some of my friends that I don’t talk to you anymore. I don’t feel like I can because we’re so different
between what I believe what you believe is so it is so like unbridgeable but there was another guy pacing around and he had like goggles on and a American flag bandana and a helmet and Military like Flak Jacket kind of stuff on and carrying a flag it just pacing around mad dog nearby clearly looking for a fight feel like you have people that really do want to have a discussion surrounded by people that are Clay is cruising for a bruising in Portland like it’s just what he was just as I walked by me to hate you what you wanted to talk I might not really I mean then all I got to say it’s hot out I want to go have lunch today
and I’m pretty sure we’re not going to convince each other of anyting and I just feel like you shouldn’t be about shouting to a conversation we should be able to talk about the difference and I totally agree with that I appreciate you guys being out here in doing that with hooray for you but I saw him a little later on what church is having her talk and he held a sign up underneath his stop the hate left debate sign I will post this photo cuz he’s at I want to look at this thing is sure it said Hillary sucks not like Monica though or something like that I want to get a picture of your awesome massage in a shirt because what I got I love that underneath your stop the hate sign you probably admit you hate women
sync events like bees what look like like these people are not going to reward our fucking like like we’re the trolls that we should be angry they should go fuck themselves I ugly I hate I hate that they like switch gears to this like they’re trolling us like what they don’t they don’t really want to I like that there was a gang of people out there going little hate let’s debate because when I think that means is that they’re on the fucking ropes psychologically just damn that they’ve run out of ways to feel like they’re part of a group and now they’re so lonely and then people have gotten so good at walking by them that they’re like what about just course
okay cuz you guys always want to talk right and intellectual let’s have a conversation. What are you doing today
yeah I just an exact date people are dumb they are dumb and you know they’re dumb when they speak because they don’t know how to put socks together and when you say things to them like that sounds like you don’t know that America isn’t 2 million years old they say see it’s that kind of attitude that seed it’s Jay you know it’s always say it’s an anti-intellectual Revolution and there was so there is no conversation there their they’re ugly mean nasty brutish thuggish selfish I got a boo-boo it’s everyone else’s problem people I got a fucking Boo Boo mother fucker I pay taxes I pay everyone
it’s hard for me just the world’s biggest violin for me
you’re paying for it do you have your checks out as go to Chinese violins all over the world by the way voting voting is like like like like like we’re suffering from is that but like most things by chance get probably didn’t understand it at three to five more times but individual is I’m also being a douche bag of potatoes principal where individualism like like hyperbole where it’s like an account on the impoverished you play up to everything that divides them even down to the individual not just racially not just religiously in gender and all that stuff but also you kind of encourage this sort of like oh democracy means that you as an individual should be able to put your feet up and eat potato chips and if anything gets in your way you should be able to complain about it and that’s a weapon is that conservatives use to make stupid people go wait
the air conditioning changed a little bit it’s not all that
yeah it was good that I got caught out there at 11 which is where we’ve decided to take a nap break in our show. We’re going to use that now as an organic time to to stop in and take a nap break and then announce the fact we are now officially going to start our DND campaign on our behalf
okay do you guys know what Fulton and Roark is
a full Roark Fulton and Roark is a premier men’s toiletries service that specialize in wax based cologne and body wash for men but now you’re confusing people cuz what we’re going to do is take a nap break and identify where they would put the volume down and play One of Those mid-roll ads that were telling the audience that we’re going to do
it’s 9:11 so we’re going to take a break here during which the people who listen to the podcast for free are going to listen to a pre-roll dad during that ad that you’re listening to at home for free or either Subway or while you’re cutting your carrots in the front lawn the people that are here live and the people that pay $5 a month are going to experience an exclusive harmontown experience it’s called a solid gold blowjob machine
and we’re back home on that is some insane recall right there where people could hear it was a few if you don’t pay five bucks a month there’s there’s call backs the other shows to happen pants back on I get back to the shop Feeling Alright this is been a long delay Blake like us getting into the the D&D thing like wheat but we’re so we’re not going to do actual gameplay this episode that the next episode
hold on but we’re going to establish but the DMV thing is we’re going to do it earlier in the show about halfway through and so are hopefully a little more sober we’re going to keep it consistent like with terms up to the rack I was like we were looking at all how do they spiral out of control and we’re just going to have like people that are always able to do the show doing the the the characters are not going to start doing the rotating guests and all that stuff and Spencer’s going to always call the shots we have to respect his authority is Desert dungeon master both in terms of my contract and in game like like like so that’s why I had to hand it over to you to explain what we’re doing this this week alright you should have played that graduation music
we’re gathered here today know I don’t know I have your character sheets I thought we should talk about your backgrounds and like come up with your shared backstory as kind of like a fun exercise so that when we start will kind of have some sense of your your history together you know the characters racing class it’s a great question it’s like it now
do you have a number that I haven’t thought about this but we kept pushing it off like I am and Clarity dick
I did I did forget I was your character’s name
have I ever visit blank so now that’s got to come up with okay I’m going to I’m going to let that can I see my sheet or should is there anything I ya ya know there’s nothing this is what we’re trying to figure out what I mean yeah I know you guys these earlier when we weren’t on stage but you seem too busy
she gets Steve oh yeah cuz we’re going to we’re going to do Steve h e Levy Levy we got to bring we be up so don’t leave me sitting down there on the floor
you’re going to love it at me be more like a man more dudes on the stage
so here’s the thing about that is that is just what we’re going to have to just take out yeah we’re going to have to just take that that that that bullet and I am not going to be one of these guys that says hey you got a hundred million dollar movie take it easy be a quality achieved however I will say that it jet that it. But like because we want to be able to have consistency it’s like weird for the DND it is going to be I had a wife and I lost her cuz of the DND
I looked into it it turns out girls are actually bad
what I just say it was on I looked it up I saw it online you got to send out an angry letter to the show we’re not going to we’re not going to like circulate through special get a Gold Bond powder party it’s going to be a consistent sausage party every time I play D&D this show is largely sausage party. Join the game if they’ve already played it to the cast Stay Together from birth
is it work out what the game is at the granite you just broke down Herman
the game that we’re going to play them cuz they are D&D campaign started to fall apart because it’s starting to become like it was a 2 out of 10 times and it was all come cuckoo mail Camille to have like a rib cage where we’re like we know there’s certain is people who are more likely to be here every single episode and if one of them is gone will make a judgment call on whether they vanish in for that episode of going to another room or Spencer place them but largely like or we just take that episode off but so that they can be consistency of character that’s the only reason we were moving it up earlier in the show so that will be a little a little hair more towards sober and that’s one of the things is like what was the question was can we get more dudes on stage yet will work where do you
the woman no no no that’s not going to question that questions starting with the same players don’t we have to take a hit on gender equality and all that stuff in the interest of a solid DND campaign because we don’t we’re not where we go
and now we have our own postage stamps
it looks like we made it
a hundred billion dollar movie
what is that what are you talking about a woman it’s like a record-breaking
is a hundred million dollars good yes good great yeah that’s good for a movie to make it as first weekend
what was the question I’m not telling you yet
no that’s my character’s name
what are your human Clara keep your human cleric and you guys are in service of the Church of the silver flame yeah what’s your character’s name Chad the fireliker
do you know your character’s name I haven’t really thought about it this is the time I was going to come back hurt by you before
you announce that we’re going to play the Indie you’ve left us we’re leaving the Meltdown has find the castle you change the words I miss you guys I was excited about our new campaign I know but I know it’s not true about that are between a passionate like zealously I’m did so dedicated to us doing this particular thing right now and you totally fucking leaving the show like like just you coming back it as being like Oh I’m back it’s good to be back like it’s okay. I forgot he was a human cleric
Bucky Brandon you’re like Ulysses he comes back he’s like who’s trying to fuck my wife kills everybody
you’re one of those guys one of those guys Ulysses killed was just like he said I was like I was told you were dead I came to propose to your wife I didn’t touch her that was just an arrow shooting contest
I’ve been awake maybe I’m overcompensating by bit by my absence and I felt were missing so I I thought a little bit about what’s Bell’s I have the mostly fire cuz I’m Chad the fire like her
all right I’m a gnome Druid by the way
was the idea that always put small characters I can remember this a instant so because you like the drawing I did all of this just want us to tell you stuff about I mean I really thought I’d be quick to come up with the names and we move on
New York lyrics what kind of stuff are you into I what’s your alignment in like what kind of what kind of clerical what’s your name
no need to complicate it in your name should be Chad also
Shadrach my name is Shadrach
I like it I love it Carlos Carlos Johnson
Carlos Johnny’s name Johnson
perfect great healer magic-user kind of guy or so what’s your relationship to the everything about a while on stage and I was in Dan’s office for a phone call the other day on his window board it was her pillow talkin about I might do the words diarrhea Junior
and I was really fit in my curiosity and
I think I should be my name maybe DJ for short all that’s great that’s great
okay I guess good this role playing game is playing itself yeah so now we got to come up with a character’s High Concepts and your greet weaknesses so so I mean concepts are already kind of come up you’re a pyromaniac gnome your you should come up with your concept because yours is generic and Steve you’re kind of like a person who can give people diarrhea if there’s any special power I mean stay out of pools for 14 days. Swimmer
he can’t resist it is and you’re flies if you kind of came up with the concept come up with a fly I know it’s like this just like I mean if your pitching Jeff Winger Euroleague you know it out of work but I don’t know you know but like that but for your cat you didn’t you didn’t you didn’t have anything in mind because I don’t know I only know what Jeff going to be in Steve said he was kind of basing his off Link from Zelda so that’s kind of his concept but you don’t really have one that’s judging the character but did that that he’s he’s a zealous like he’s a zealot he’s just like a like a like a Westboro Baptist in the making is like
like somebody that that that has been so jealous that is really more about their ego like a genuine Zealot who actually has a function like problem like they found meaning in this religion and if it weren’t for this religion they’d be so fucked up it’s unspeakable so they’re hooked on it and can’t is like like like so maybe this person is like Christopher Eccleston in The Leftovers to Spencer did you ever see that show me shity people with Spencer in their name that sucks did you receive that 1992 YouTube video it’s 28 minutes long, call Child of Rage it’s his little girl she keeps got it and it has a lock screen therapist that keeps going to like what would you like to do to your little brother pick them with pans like she’s like because she was adopted and she was
do I get a crib in our own pace and stuff and she like she said she didn’t know love and didn’t read it doesn’t know how to process it so it like like like there’s something wrong with this guy then he found like his religion right he’s not and it really has like giving him meaning and Direction but he doesn’t it hasn’t helped him grow to the extent that if you were to ever say he needs this religion to really keep them together or a I like that so much
religious Fanatics could like when you meet when you meet somebody that you’re like oh man you’re super dedicated to being a nerd because if you weren’t a nerd a few someone actually give you Iron Man armor the first thing you do is step on innocent people bad because you’re so angry like but not as much as I think he’d like actually doesn’t know right from wrong and he’s relieved to feel that I liked it so alright come up with Steve do you have anything yet come up with weaknesses if you haven’t yet think about that Steve do you have anything for Grayson class again he’s an elf for half of he’s a he’s a fighter fighter because if he’s like he’s he doesn’t have like a follower will he tell ya he doesn’t if you can break through his force field of of of of of the social program
yeah I know anybody that had us that was in the business of making people think things are illusion magic or something like that the people you a little more susceptible maybe never penalty against that because he’s like, yeah is that a good weakness it’s okay
maybe it’s the guy who holds his weaknesses are up to Snuff he’s really insecure about it I has he had
can you kill your kitty work can you help me out cuz I’m not done that jazzed about that hard to say cuz the only thing is I think that’s kind of what I told her if they weren’t part of your character concept so it’s like that’s kind of a natural consequence of your concept to this would be a more lateral weakness you know like he also he you know he hasn’t been never turns right right okay polio sure could be polio
do you get wheeled around or something
my dad survived the polio epidemic in the 50s and so he has like a withered leg my dad so I grew up with a very masculine dad who walked with a masculine limp but when he wears shorts he has like a little too thick leg isn’t real life this is real life I just saw that just clarify so I was like maybe I maybe I maybe I have like I literally have a physical limitation my grandpa Leo sure I have left me permanently
Father’s Day is next weekend I will stick with you for a long time and I don’t know is that is that is that is that is fine but I mean I will say that we do live in a world I mean we don’t but you will is important will know where magic can heal breath even so like a leg boy howdy can that be healed well well well what about like you know like doesn’t mean you can’t be you know and it’s like he’s playing basketball and it’s like oh actually I’m supposed to be totally fucking in Mobile but I went to like what if what if he would if he did he is healed with magic but he has like there’s magic keeping him kind of guy without it oh so he’s like wearing a magic brace yeah okay
yeah well that’ll slide into great
Steve anyting I know Steve Agee a minute I’m still thinking about a homeless but frankly sorry what’s the normal kind of weakness what’s your character concept
the mute swordsman from far away that’s our character concept okay not completely mute but you don’t talk much like if you’re open to pitches I think service right now because of the reason you’re nervous and lethargic is you don’t want to fuck this up the reason you know what are fucking up because you want to be really good when we played Andy in the podcast I do it again you’re going to be here you should you should really like you should be up for that you should be yourself I think you should be like like a really enthusiastic is a week now that’s a terrible weakness what is your character what is your past self just a swordsman right and were right it is history we don’t know my history is history like a little bit I mean we’re about to now
can the cold D-League my weakness the cold that everyone’s weakness and away
we’re going to want your leaving is happening I think he should be in your problem just be shrewd like leaving to the church because it’ll take years and I cure this guy like telling me that you love me and eat better and I’m like yeah he’s like like I’d like like he’s a caretaker to the point of extremism like he he worries more about other people to meet your puppy care more about himself than ideologies that is you actually think that there’s a happy ending is possible for this species and it’s sad sometimes okay let’s true
and Jeff you’re afraid of the dark right
my character is like a little Druid gnome and held my demons like underground and I like the Cradle like the silver flame gods and like I conjured fire until I can I use my fire is kind of a crunch because I’m afraid of them terrified of the Dark Knight
do you get is your friend cuz I want to make sure my character balances with yours but I’m thinking more about my like like like could I be like this like whatever my thing is that has me like I’m I’m sort of a self flagellating kind of character figuratively or literally where I’m lycopene is important Greg and and you have to like I’m actually like Blake Blake Blake at like 20% Dinklage in Game of Thrones at 10% Rocket Raccoon and then like 40% so I guess I guess me but then like I can’t remember the percentages and how they added up I think I’m going to 70

but but like somebody that’s like kind of like like like oh they they figure like you you’re supposed to like they can’t they can’t accept the good fortune in the area they can’t accept Joy like me they want to they want it it’s at those people that like whipped themselves literally feel like Berkeley pleasures and things like
cool alright alright I’m afraid of the dark
alright so let’s let’s let’s come up with your with your with your character story so everyone gets to come up with their own character background like where they started their Adventures like where it would you guys get do you know where you get your start you might not know me all of you these are you know we’re thinking about these and wavy Xanax Troy or where was he at backstory so where’d you get your start like so for you your religious guy so I might be where you found religion in like joined the church or something here but I
I think I was like one of those kids whose parents like like like prostituted them you know like like like
Toddlers & Tiaras, they are way worse abuse at the hands of God I just I just left to drift in a horrible Society like Blake born in filth and and then subject to the the horrible in Humanities and then develop the horrible fly ins and then and then because of that maybe in my adolescent years will put a pin in it but somewhat whatever that was it led to injury or disease so severe that I was finally broken down and then found this that maybe somebody from this religion like like converted me and then that I started to become a cleric in like 19 or something in that and it’s so then and then but then within this church of the silver flame I I I’m like a zealot that because I’m not politically facile I’m always
I’m not a threat to any of the higher-ups I’m like always good for being sent on a mission but it’s like my only problem is that I’m kind of like like I will likely I’m not going to make a good Cardinal because I’ve always questioned hypocrisy of the church itself so like I kind of been like bounced around and like they’ll still make me do weird shit if you can justify it so I wound up at this place because I maybe this is like kind of it in the outskirts this place this yeah I mean it’s a big church it’s like a it covers the whole country geographically going to start at a place that’s like recently because of a recent like dust up I had with a superior where I called them out on their religious theocracy sent to the outskirts
Steve looks like going for something I have some in my Village when I was a kid was burned to the ground I love it and my parents were murdered but the church took me in but the thing that I don’t know is that it was the church that murdered my entire Village including my parents.
I don’t think the crowd likes that you should change your skin or Jeff born in captivity right and you’re in darkness by demons in darkness surrounded by demons or we’re just super religious very docile Druids who didn’t believe in violence that was so pure and I didn’t want to like just died in there like I watched on my family died inside this like these wooden cages inside the darkness and I thought the only way to get out cuz I got heard your family dying I heard them diarrhea
but then like I ain’t like that because they were so darn sound they didn’t like ever use the druidic power is like a note in there to really summon because we just like underground in Hidden Valley Community with like the silver flame you know who’s the spirit that you called to the spirit of the silver point and I was given this kind of extra violent power of fire and I ended up burning my way out and kind of like so I like I like I’m using like it’s up to the canteen nature things I’d like to want to set things on fire but that was how I got out and so I’m just kind of I think I’m a little guilt-ridden about the fact that I have more of a violent tendencies and I wish I did so I try to use it like my Flames to purify things and purify myself I like it I’m so hard right now but I almost started crying that I said
marshmallows for breakfast in that doesn’t know pain because they whatever they like we’re yeah I think it’s very the Chandra so now we’re going to come up with how you guys met so Jeff is going to come up with how you met Steve Steve’s going to come up with how I met Dan and Ann’s going to come up with how I met Jeff and then we’ll do a second round of that so it’s in the end if you forget it’s the person of the right and then Danny wrap around the gym and family died they was the church but he doesn’t know because I just want to make sure isn’t going to be like how we will I mean this could be
what was the first Adventure in the future has been known to the one we’re about to play when we play at least I know you’ll have met each other at the very least like you live like we’re doing like modern TV we’re not writing An Origin pilot we’re starting at 7 this would be the origin pilot that we’re currently raining right now in wagon but it’s not like I know who are you fux yeah I like that that’s that’s smart from a from a from a peek TV elves are old to so whatever hundred and six or five
all right so my I met Steve what when I when I when I burst out of this cave and I was in elves live so long that when they’re 70 they’re like sucking on a pacifier but what’s the point of living
when I came out of the darkness I was also like 5 and why I stumbled into him and he because he’s an elephant little more worldly a little more like you with your fighter right yeah I feel like he took pity on me and kind of took me under his wing and I was as little blind mole person I live with living in darkness and I’m terrified of the dark you guys and he kind of took me under his wing and kind of looked after me and I kind of got me on my feet he was like a kid brother temporary Brothers
dagus well I mean whoever has an idea that can go so after my Village was burned down I don’t remember any of that but that’s you know the church adopted me and they raised me and that was my family they’re the best and Dan character was my mentor and he took me under his wing and is like look see a lot of myself in you and make sure that you you know can run this church later on
right so I killed his parents are you suggesting you guys are the same age as we’ve known each other for twenty years poop me and you grew up together so like I kind of like I fucked up like Dumbledore it is at like the keepers you did unspeakable things to these kids
set my timer to be happy like a mini about it or like you recognize kind of nascent greatness in our in our spirituality going to raise isn’t like focus our power is like don’t you know whatever you whatever you have in store for us is fine but like the thing that would be interesting was that it’s like it’s kind of a suicide mission but I’m taking my favorite students with me I don’t mean like I’m superior to you guys but I’m older than you and you were like like I’m a cleric at the church of the silver flame the path that brought you guys together then joined and led you to where I have been for a while and I would like trying to teach you guys to like meditate or whatever but then like I got I got like a big dinner or something in the timeline did you get sent to the outskirts before you met legit get like you know by the church before you met them or after
I’ll go either but it won’t you want me to pick now or before because because because I’ve been I’ve been actually in the outskirts for a while cuz it’s like the Pachinko machine of society like brought me to like where I am where am I I just hang out I make a paycheck I teach people to pray and like that pain is important so that sounds like you connected and then you got sent away and kind of you’re not in contact with them to vet that said you need to go get the orb of the thing not to tell you your job if it but it should probably be an orb saying this is our first Adventure because like I said we’re starting episode 7 the origin was that they had and they like just wanted to kill me and then I was allowed to take like like people and they came with me and we may be had success and so now we’re kind of like out there and
get like communicate as they go to okay now go do this yeah I got the mission you like to come up with it yeah it probably helps to have a gully how do we see the future like I kind of like like like like what do we think what do we hope the outcome of the Spencers in the silver flame exist to exercise and purify the world of evil so I don’t know that doesn’t necessarily have to be your goal but that’s kind of what the church’s exist for like you know Christianity is like save all Sinners Like This is just kill all the evil in our own way but we’re not very Orthodox about like a regulars
how to purify by burning and like they don’t focus on the filth that is the would you have to fucking B you have to have the pain and unlike and you are setting it on fire like I like these guys get their nuts and bolts people that get results done and I don’t I think that I’ve been fired let’s say from 3 I like I’m out there and I’m going like like my overall goal is I don’t care if I die trying I mean I don’t want to die but I want to actually prove that politics and kissing ass and stuff is like that this this church the religion is right right the church is wrong I know that they they’ve got us out here wandering doing missions because they can’t wait for us to die I love it that we keep not dying
so I’m a little like a dark version of Tom Hanks and Saving Private Ryan around my leg just fucking don’t let the German go up but I do believe in my zealous heart that one day we’re going to we’re going to make headlines going to do their job for them where were we don’t go over to normal channels maybe but we all are zealots in her own way but we do really believe like I’m some sort of like that we can rid the world of evil awesome last last part okay so now you come over the color yeah I know you come up with that one special thing about your character so I mean and you’re already sewn is like magically healthy that might be your thing but you could have a different thing but this is like this like a special special thing like a unique Mary Sue trait
Mary Sue Will Smith pastor
what did you say wisdom bass guitar let’s get past it let’s move past it okay yeah yeah
that should be the secret 911 said Elizabeth I have a I have a I have a wisdom basket is that if I ever lose it because it’s like it’s like it’s like a self-torturing thing where every all the pain I feel I collect it. Like I just a thing like a glass I like I said it is pretty reasonable unique that like you have some sort of ailment that you’re constantly fighting against that again don’t have to be a bit isn’t about how specific you want this to be here secretly a fairy attacking each other
he’s just asked a question that is so you don’t have to get angry at everyone Gunslinger in the special thing photographic memory premature ejaculator
just an example
that’s a good one that you got to go for something yeah I should have
Bernie’s cover my body I don’t think that’s unique enough
hospital so glad you heard it should be repeated for you my ass all is won Giants or degree burn but you try to eat around cuz it’s burnt what is your butthole are you imagining my I dyed night terrors by a good one around other people like I might stab that’s not a unique mostly what do you say you got three balls that we just had like a you once stole the robot off the king’s back anything to you for it
I got you an eight
that’s not unique
and it’s just here to fucking hate on you the entire time it’s fine I accept
what if my dick was fireproof solution Home in the front row
unique like unique
that’s a good thing was what if you could produce ice cream it will from your hands
you have a you have a cuanto I have a I have a pair of 3D glasses is unique because 3D has not been invented a glass eye is is is more unique than your body been covered with Burns that you’re the only difference is with a glass side of this world
magic erasers that blends and I only heard the word Zeppelin cuz I talked over here at the repeated requests
well now year he needs to repeat a zeppelin question and I’ll get to you in a second what is it the zeppelins guy on the count of three ask your questions that I’m not talking over the beginning of the zeppelins question I know it ends of the red zeppelin 123 and the thing is remember to 10 apples
panoply of Zeppelin
oh mengapa I have a monopoly over Zeppelin
okay young lady what did you
no wrong answers no wrong answer she said a glass eye that sees it 5 minutes into the future stupid yeah well I think we’re looking for
so my dad said all your fingers are thumbs
but your thumb is five fingers are agile probably a bit and if so why doesn’t why doesn’t some species have
I can what
I can understand hats caps I’m with you lady I don’t get it where you can understand cats but only the musical person in the world are Superman’s powers death every full moon
if nothing else this is a good exercise
are you raising your hand over here
my magic leg brace is a weapon that is unique has ever used their leg brace as a weapon
Lowe’s that’s never been done before
well yeah I love it I think we got our I mean like that’s like a summer movie from the 90s this might be a good idea if I have a tattoo of an eyeball on my forehead and occasionally if I really focus I can see 45 seconds into the future
what is a really correct different from everyone on the planet
they did okay
how much does a tattoo of an eyeball on my for it and I can see when my eyes are closed
yeah yeah that’s fine. Go get looks like a tattoo
it’s very nice. It’s a bit of an advantage but I think it’s cool and I like it’s not overpowered
can you answer the question
brushing my teeth and my fixing my hair ever
Levy you go so we can move off this if you don’t think it’s
vodka to make it better with the tattoo of the eyeball my forehead it’s a closed I shit so I got to be an open like a shity like jail tattoo of an eyeball
I got it done in the dark cuz I was going to raise in the dark
I’m trying to think of like what’s unique about like you know what any of us like gorgeous interesting like like like like like I think we don’t we don’t really want to have just a thing that makes us totally different as much as we want to be really really really really good at one thing but you know that’s what we fantasize about none of us really actually wants like a thing that makes us absolutely different from everyone else as much as our stories how do I eat you’re really good at dividing up the tab on multiple people are like paying for dinner but you know exactly who I was acting like one of the four people because someone asked if the table what do you think you’re better at it than anybody else and I had some pretentious answer about being able to write dialog forever but there was a guy who said I can count the number of words in your sentence no matter how long it is it was it was it was Joan Rivers name for Madison ComedySportz
Josie Josie Josie di Chelsea
Joe Tommy Thompson
and then for the rest of the night and he was like you don’t like you could tell that he living with his whole life anyway you could do that legally cuz I leave amnesia for 5 minutes everyday but to the point where you don’t even know what a human is you don’t know what your hand is the Sun but for just five minutes every five minutes you gonna sit Salvia trip
are you make that’s what happens when you make a seven-layer dip that’s to die for
Frankie like almost magically delicious how good your seven layer dip
all right that’s a good one haunted by the voices of the people you can actually can hear them I can hear the voices of the people I’ve killed your aunt or maybe even maybe even informed by them but you’ve never killed anybody
you’re going to find this out later
what what am I like that a lot. What if I’m haunted by the voices of people I am liable if I’m destined to kill and that the whole that’s stupid that’s like what am I really I think I’m going to make sure I don’t kill a person dies right that April 4th at 8 in lares
I hear I hear the voices of every single person that I’ve ever yelled great I love it to Steve happy like you’re about to say is oh no it’s just like therefore that’s a reason why I’d rather not kill people yet and keeps the longer you go without killing that you’ve gone that their voices start to fade but as soon as you kill someone all those voices come back including the persons that you killed I like that because then I’m like that then I have a very disingenuous reason to be the guy that just doesn’t want to fight yeah yeah okay one more is not going to keep going to make a big difference I’ll get back on my diet tomorrow I really like that
something in every time you kill another person you lose one layer out of your dip
until it’s just sour cream at the end when you die
so complicated it was a woman that I took the idea from you
Spencer what is a woman not unique at all.
in general or too many use my iced I stopped ordering lubricant I know my tears again do it
incredible sniper like accuracy when throwing any object too far for a bull’s-eye really good at far games like like acid also too powerful
and you don’t even you don’t understand what you’re saying that better be the episode title
I wish I couldn’t see that through I wish I could
turned on by being financially exploited
that woman is that what that means that’s why I heard these ladies and they give them all their bank account information and all their financial information so that the women apparently like they have control over the finances a man and then they get off by the women paying their bills and not paying like spending too much for themselves like you see like they’re at their women are going to like send me send me your money you piece of shit like I said Jackie memories about that looks like it’s like it’s like expensive gifts sending them expensive gifts and stuff and they’re like telling you you dumb shit giving me all your money and then the guys are like
so that’s your thing Steve the delicious frosting that grows on the bottom of the glass ceiling is going to be some Advantage what about this is what if you had like a locket around your lip but you were given the link necklace with a key in it and you don’t you don’t know what it is but you know it’s an important thing that you’re going to do that was like that’s a good Destiny at Destiny’s Kieran other people also also has acid giving you a key it is every time you think this is full of shit if he is a test and you’ll fucking die the minute you when he was too young to remember the little mystery where at
a keyhole
I like when somebody gave him there’s a keyhole on my chest and my chest like a wounded but you’re exactly like Nike
and I won’t tell him I keep looking at it I’m like I think I got three prongs
I don’t know how many times have to look at it before I realized that the my dick’s Home Care on chest is always bauling
he really has a hole in his infected or no it’s a key Holt magic it’s a magic key hole in his chest like Iron Man Has a magic team on his chest was it there when you woke up from your village being burnt or remember but inside is a 1/8 layer dip
that’s the secret even told you ever unlock that inside is a recipe for the perfect 8 layer dip
he’s probably been told a lot of stuff like you don’t like me to go to like a flea market and there’s a fortune teller there like and do you like by the way I should probably show you this I know all about that a lot of shit but you have a hole in your chest is shaped like a key and it like and I’m ever searching for the key that’ll fit into my heart hole
that’s adorable I love that was kicked off this campaign with a rap
campaign rap we started late it’s got to be
fast rap
yo about that time sometimes it to me in the old days with a heartfelt when we used to feel when you used to come around to the break of dawn with a headache that he’s used to me yet.
I thought I could just start rapping
I think about yudi how you used to feel if you used to be like family you know what I’m saying like it seems like things have changed so fast we don’t know who we are anymore till the break of dawn to the fastest
I got that one was fake and I will try to make it seem like the first time was a part of a bed
always trying to wrap good but trying to come outside of it and we’re going to wrap it if you try to be outside of it
diarrhea Junior
why do people talk that make you addicted to I want to go outside to make another geometric shape maker planet makes me so sad when I look at your mama’s pussy and it looks bad but it’s beautiful
is clinical drawing that you see in sex ed no one has a pussy like that
is that a line that’s not a pussy
pussy should look like chewing gum it’s okay
gum scrambled eggs
play the radio
doesn’t matter what’s my ticket statue
that’s around the ship look weird every child every titty through every show and every city everybody’s changed the different ways I thought your mom so hard know it doesn’t
it’s about that time
to the break of dawn
all night long do the break of dawn
Dawn breaks earthquake tectonics going to make every every planet
race you got to turn around chick that Paris Accord
not going to do anything if I cramp right
the high-energy just I bought the dye for the high diver
when you’re coming home until November 6th
brother Johnson Steve Agee on Jeff Davis
Church everybody
Gigi May 7th activity
Pacific in the bank for the knee
whatever it is


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