Episode: 309 – Firehouse Ghost


Episode: 309 – Firehouse Ghost


Dan and Spencer welcome our latest sponsor “MeOnesie” to the show, and our favorite socialist Josh Androsky pops in to explain Measure B. Antonio Banderas also premiers his latest musical, and is not to be missed.


all right
all right
ladies and gentlemen I’m a comptroller Jeff Davis glad to be back in town
it is November 5th 2018 in harmontown is now in session
we’re going to start things off in a slightly different fashion a little bit of a departure from our normal interest before I introduce your game master in your may I listen please bring out with me on these dancers
your game after Spencer Crittenden everybody
and the mayor of harmontown the Dan Harmon
thank you
me onesies
3 onesies
baby onesies
Mondays and Wednesdays
head to toe wearing me and the way you know but now the way you’ve never known them the undies are growing from your shoulders to your drone them and your ankle socks as regular bendy’s but covering your body which raises questions
can wearing an undershirt right now and regular me and he’s under the want me onesies but if I wasn’t wearing any undies underneath my V10 I have to wonder if I would just be rocking the
you’re a stocking fetishist everyone’s a soft material dragged across your cock fetishes
everyone I think we could cut them into a rap about this
everyone they have in cloth draped across your crock apologist not apologist fetishist apologist like I’m not I’m just saying for me to sit look we all know that the material is made from a material a space-age but what is it called replenishable what are you play Lisa’s stainable sourced space-age fabric that’s three times and I got I got excited about me socks oh yeah three times less soft and micro modal sent to me socks and I mean while I was worried like what would have to meet socks are also three times after the cotton is this going to turn into an Ed Wood situation for me
women enjoy having to take upon myself need to go to to to paraphrase Dean Pelton from my hit show Community but I’m draped head to toe in in in luxurious stream subscriber identity Spencer are wearing what can only be described as hoodie to toe onesies right now yeah
harmontown I hope so yeah I mean they probably had a long time to think about it
anyways there is there a sponsor but look I mean we don’t we don’t Black & Decker sponsors the show we’re not going to come out here and drilled the amazing sounds like fun. We should we should do that are you wearing anything underneath your me Wednesday oh yeah close
people have a full outfit underneath your me Wednesday I’m wearing a three-piece suit
I have the feeling that you’re not you’re actually not wearing anything under that me Wednesday no no it’s legal
I wonder about my nipples cuz I’m wearing an undershirt which I don’t know if I would or wouldn’t hear about your nipples too then I think we all do is it what if I had micro modal like kind of like encasing my nipples and like every time you coming over in bed I don’t know what why don’t you go back and put your your onesie on without anything on now I might know that’s not that’s no what are you afraid of
I’m I’m concerned about the show being bad I was about to say I’m worried about what they’re afraid of but I don’t want to go there because then you’re going to go what are you afraid of bright people there was going to go we love this I’m afraid of what what what is assault
weather whether they ask for it or not I don’t want them watching to see whether or not my little tiny fucking paneling meals and entertainment does not worth no ticket price is under your me Wednesday is on but take the shirt off just to experiment on your on your me Wednesday
it’s such a crucial time right now guys I mean I’m sure by the time this actually drops is a podcast the tire that the time will be over but right now is such an important time to let your voice be heard I’m talking about making sure that you leave a comment under a famous person’s Instagram
letting them know why you don’t want to watch a Jared Judd Apatow post a reminder that it’s time to vote don’t let your voice be heard it’s plain to him why democracy doesn’t work anymore he’s asking for it and more importantly what if what if you didn’t say anything oh no oh my God no no
people would remind everyone to vote for whoever the fuck they want
let’s Freedom Ring this is your one chance to lend your voice to an outcry without making it all the risk in your voice actually becoming a part of anyone else’s voice because this is about you after all
please write a three paragraph theme under any of everyone’s Instagram under the cruel tyranny of me following you on Instagram
Sebastian Cabot
is he still there when I was in high school we would have a stake in Milwaukee like in the parking lot of the McDonald’s and there’s a stranger it’s really strange because it was you wouldn’t do this but goes by there
they peel their tires and then what are you do in response to the tires peeling regardless of how many people are around you and how much they value their eardrums this Camaro has committed a crime as a champion of the people and their peace and quiet as to go
and then probably possibly maybe someone who heard you do that can open their apartment Window and go to work in the morning and then be like
must be nice.
Since the pigeon master
who’s the weird off brand Pro archetype food
emergency at the Spirit of pigeons because he wasn’t quite Barry wrongfully murdered
it’s endemic to our culture social media has only exasperated this feeling that if you just let a day go by without letting people know how fucking unique you are a landslide might happen of mediocrity unremarkable zoomed in like in in just mayonnaise and then like you’ll wake up tomorrow and you be like I should have said something yesterday
it’s probably not true I just you know I think if anything it’s nice that the celebrities now or simply saying vote they’re not saying this is because they’re like they really do just want you to book here’s a thought spare a thought for some of these people that are asking you to remind me to devote they maybe even know that you’re not going to vote then there was simply making one last fucking deal with the with with with with whatever deity they worship this like I will I got to I got to say something so I can sleep like a baby like remember Pontius Pilate he was like
nobody remembers Pontius Pilate harder than my personal trainer I mean he was surprised he was like I think I’m going to get it I’m just saying like it’s possible that someone that says to you by the way don’t forget tomorrow’s what’ll I do that before you go what you know what you know what
I’m not going to do it cuz you’re
you might be talking to the one person left who still talking to you you might be shooting the messenger actually and I were watching a guy we were listening to a podcast about stories people will they go through a ghost story and ended a little resolve and we laughing at
are you tell me I’m not dressed the way I’m just saying I don’t know whether wearing jammies during a tirade helps or hurts it might invite
it definitely gives good night
mulching lubin’s me Wednesday at suspenders so you can if you can tuck yourself into it and a boy something they’re good
which I would wear a hat no one has ever done anything bad wearing a hood invest too much in peripheral vision and fuck you space children over there that’s what’s going on but happy you’re a bunch of drunk hologram to keep your hood on keep your hoodie on and recite the Federalist Papers for us to see how much water that we we we we the Federalists bring upon this the two governments the federal Galley and the Federal
anyways so we’re listening to a ghost story on a podcast and ghost stories they often they often times will there be like a ghost and then if it’s
Adobe free acts like a story is and if it’s going to be like a happy ghost story like oh and then we got rid of the ghost in the house and it says this never going to happen to anyone else you don’t you don’t get that you don’t have that in ghostwriting that you’re not doing a ghost to haunt a charred pie all of the Cats flammable
we are going to burn but I think there’s an assumption in some of these stories that if you just burn down the house where somebody got murdered or molested that the ghost is going to go finally back to the woods I got a termite like I had it’s like it will know I mean how do we know it’s not like GPS like that’s the spot
and if you burn the house down you’re actually doing the ghost to like float around and then holler at you I was making an observation to Cody and then Cody said we were high and this isn’t going to be you guys are going to take no Delight in this but I’m fucking I can’t sometimes things make you so happy just got to try to share him and then Cody said well maybe maybe it’s like a firehouse ghost and then when she said that I was like oh are you doing like a play on words like because you’re provoking the famous phrase that have never heard called a firehouse ghost
and she’s like what no I’m saying like well maybe it starts to haunt the fires I’m like wait so a firehouse ghost isn’t an idiom like it’s not like it’s not an expression cuz it definitely should be in and else is like no yeah I know I’m saying like maybe but it was like Firehouse goes it just leaks off the page as like an actual expression especially right now it’s at the firehouse ghost is it it’s sort of related to shooting the messenger it’s like bro man listen to protesting together and you’re like someone as young as the excuse me are your boots gluten-free like like
and you’re like it’s fuck you bitch bitch I’m a big as your hunting the firehouse
your ear you’re frightening the only people that are available to frighten
nobody that we’re trying to fight it gives a fuck what you’re talkin about get your signs back up in the air and stop being Firehouse ghosts anyway I didn’t mean to make the example political I just thought that it was a fun and I couldn’t think of any ghost in you kind of hot in the firehouse right now man like who cares if he used the wrong pronoun like he’s at he’s totally on your side and stuff bro you but I took that you don’t like what the hell is down man like firefighters like that that’s the thing they have to deal with all the time they’re like look I mean if it is if we were going to let Firehouse ghosts like scare us out of the firehouse we wouldn’t be very good fireman
right way to connect to move on to Ghostbusters Firehouse ghost
just Jeff
let’s see if you think that you’re wearing real relaxed jammies around me get you any sort of moral High Ground to the year
I just feel more empowered I’m like what are you wearing a suit how much would you pay for it don’t even have to tell me your comfort
without wearing other clothes underneath it take off that shirt
have a party a shower with a beautiful woman who didn’t bring me my phone up like grab my phone if you guys think you can handle don’t I don’t think we can the reins of Apollo’s Chariot for long enough that the Earth is not scorched and The Season’s don’t change I don’t think we can do it I just think it’s worth the risk
not even the risk it’s worth the damage all right with what Dad doesn’t know is that we have background like backstage cameras as well as put those up on the big screen Chris you can watch Dan Hyman take his clothes I’ll look there’s his ass hole up right now I’m loving this I was saying that it reminds me of the Santa ornament I had my house those just like carved out of a wooden rod it just Delights me that I look like a weird red druid
oh no
show Defiance is it Awakening some the broken spirited porn actress that I’ve become like she I swallowed it does that satisfy the clothes on and go to Best Buy now is Best Buy still exists one of your nipples right now I think I can see one of them are probably getting super hard
but this is an advertisement for me on these new me Wednesday because I’m telling you you should be afraid
becomes Comfort yeah
his nipples are just fucking like the Eiffel Tower is on top of his chest that’s going to happen in life are normal nipples that may be extraordinary really excited by a fabric that is inordinately soft
I think that’s a plus reminder for these on your Yelp review of these things are they too exciting for your nipples or you don’t like things like that like like like a candy bar advertisement in the logo like like careful it might taste so good that you get fired you know it’s a good load I didn’t stop eating Cheetos when I found out they were dangerously cheesy
I like you. Like old old movie old horror movies and go again there’s health insurance available at the door case you have a heart attack from a goblin coming out that makes sense if you want next week. I am actually on the show you guys can come if you want to
all right I’m the only other two things I had to talk about where this other thing in this is a thing moving from True Crime to horror podcast I have noticed the one thing that I’ve noticed a human flaw in our culture something then I think we were letting slide too much and not questioning this concept that you can feel like someone’s watching you
I don’t like it like like like even like cops in True Crime shows will be like you know
what does your professional police officer I didn’t see it is looks like it’s like you shouldn’t you shouldn’t be saying the same things that somebody saying in something like the crazy fucking Pooh Khomeini story about like an octopus monster in a garage legally like what it Where did we get this idea that it’s like totally co-sherwood to to be a person who doesn’t necessarily totally believe in the Paranormal but you will week we all we all can feel when someone to watch him just the crazy that’s that’s moon man shyt what are you I’m not saying it’s not possible I’m saying like you better fucken say I believe in God damn psychic phenomena and then yeah you can’t be like well I’m I’m famous forensic psychologist so and so and then I got that feeling you know that you feel like someone’s watching you Spider-Man you can’t say that you’re not allowed to say that it be a scientist or a police officer hyper sensitive to the slightest movement the slightest sound
the slightest like Daredevil in the back of your neck are picking up on like someone’s breast that’s called someone being so close to you that you can feel her breath that’s not what I’m talking about I’m talking about like someone’s watching me say that that should be the equivalent least if a police officer on a true-crime show says we should at least regard that is the same as him saying like you know I knew I was a Capricorn so go in and I had to bring extra bullets
I don’t care how many bullets you bring but don’t base it on that
be careful you write you write reports
they can’t be based on new planets they got to be based on the beat
and the street just alright
I’ve been doing this long enough to like your pajamas on your pajamas and giving you too much of a sense of latitude right now
he thinks I’ve got if you can stand where I’m standing I feel like I’ve got a hunch over just to avoid the ceiling fan with these people
I know where I stand with you you focused and I’m fine with it that’s why I always bring interesting guest way we talk about things you know I still want them to the Sharks I I I say this in the most loving way possible the way your father said it’s you a thousand times I’ve had it with you
and the nnsa as your as your babysitter often said I don’t care what you think and as your mother said maybe a few times like you’re not mine
there’s no actual connection here was a legal semi financial transaction in the back Alex the best intro to a guest of all time so don’t even think for a second you have power over my confidence
sycophantic Prix
I can’t tell if your if your onesie is making you more confident or more vulnerable I get it if it’s it’s almost like it’s me I started drinking it work early
you don’t know me
you don’t know nothing about me
maybe it maybe after a year I finally signed the contract that makes me on fire
if I can save Bees hive the tap your battles Big Dig a Little Deeper too much information who I wouldn’t say what you’re saying right now

I can’t anymore
I’m 45 years I spent doing one thing
never did just let me know
images of where I’m going
if it’s not going to happen the only way to do it wrong is to be afraid of his fucking people but bring out our socialist friend
it was the best intro
that was real that room I don’t really know what I’m saying is if I feel like saying anything in the future I may say it so it’s time to clearing an intention to say it’s a promise ring of said it could be good well it yummy look I know he made over promise to his delivery of four people’s Tesla’s is that what you’re referring to he’s Willie Wonka but if an evil awful awful horrible union busting child man with pork skin
you guys are all jealous and he was a child of Jim behrends if Ruby’s in his pocket growing up
we love Ruby’s Builder good thing they’re beautiful and his family keeps them from the rest of us you find them in chests
well let’s not let’s let’s let’s let’s let’s make you the Elon Musk of socialism let’s let’s even the score a little bit equal time will be responding to all of your points I would love that the last time a long time ago really good thank you I have you want some liquor we give it to do we give it according to meet you do or you’re looking extra Mark see right now it’s really late I mean I would like to hear it just even Hitler had a beard I think you would have been way cooler for God’s sake
it says a lot about you that you’re like, that one little fucking square of hair on my face and that’s it
that’s the worst thing you ever did I think there’s one thing we know that deserves a lot of make things come to mind his chaplain but it’s all we know there must be there must have been somebody would like to break the seal on the gas mask in the trenches or a the fashion for short mustaches became a thing that seems cool
that seems very logical but it seems like the kind of logic that ultimately is like that Rings logical but it also doesn’t ring with the kind of organic truth is that most true things turn out to have it almost sounds a little overwrought and Commercial said that he was going to Ham on that gas mask bong do we believe of mankind for instance it is good to truly mean man kind of like that that mustache fashion would acquiesce to gas mask curry in functionality will still like would people be that insistent on a mustache that there’d be like
a more functional popularity gain function like if you if you are if you are a Fighter II pretending that with your correcting me the firehouse bro
god dammit
Josh I was home I was saving that one for later to show you that fucking I’m so sorry you lost your mind but it was pretty easy they’re Wikipedia probably but what do you type in a Hitler mustache is the chaplain like like like what is that fucking stripe now we have this Insight that maybe it got signal booster stash where is it was completely his mustache please signal booster much whatever I mean we all know from playing role playing games on a video games that there’s a million kinds of mustache hell yeah how do any of them gain any kind of favor also
into any bar or restaurant in Silverlake Gladwell to squirrel to discover how mustaches like sociologically got better price what has happened since we saw you last maybe in your take that personally or politically I don’t take you anywhere you want I’ll take it politically cuz that’s what I’ve been sort of II
so I guess I should say first that I won $1000000 on a slot machine on a Big Bang Theory visiting guy that’s a real thing that happened to me so it would undermine your gave half of it away I didn’t Elon Musk and fucking take that are the bank at dollars on a Big Bang Theory slot machine and gave half of it away I like friends and family of various organizations because nobody should hoard that much well weigh more than the slot machine Corporation cuts off a chunk for their big out of have a taste I don’t know why but they cut off like six figures
oh shut up I made the money yes I must get rich in space on this it didn’t go to check I checked I’m a million right now I can talk to him they they said that we promised you was the annuity so you got like $50,000 for x amount of years and it ended up being until I was like 55 or 60 or something and I was like there’s not going to be in Nevada then give me all of it right now and then I can write what we got to cut off six figures for ourselves that’s the that’s the deal I don’t you feel so bad for him
dollar should come out of the thing and knowing that that can’t happen that that that the fucking Shaq that comes out should be you should be able to take it to a giant phone bank and let me guess when like a bunch of money in a contest that actually it is is it’s it’s like basically like as cool as getting a massive unearned promotion at your dishwashing job and that it only like actually like like that there’s like four yeah yeah that would be cool to spray today guilt you into tipping them really largely relegated thing I was like give me all this money I just want to walk around and give you a hundred dollar bills cuz like how off
when do you get to radically confront your own value system right like I am I I am a self-proclaimed card-carrying socialist so it was like all right I have to literally put my money where my mouth is that part of it that was like it could have been a Larry David like what did you do to deserve it I was like what did I do to deserve this so I was just like five money man I wanted to get a suit with question marks all over it like free money what was it baby I’m assuming you after all of the all of those take away is now that stuff that you still ended up six figures up at some thousand just I just got for being a dude was this a high-stakes game you’re playing will you play my man
nosey. You’re on like you know that suit has dollar signs on it not question marks the quiet if it was? I had the! So the dollar sign a real estate guy looks like the Riddler but he has dollar signs right Matthew Glasgow is his name I know that from being super stoned and watching TV and then it’s like I created The Riddler I’d be so mad wait really
Vindicator do that no you can know you can probably find with him doing that I’m mad
intellectual property and I’m happy that we proved me right that rules in the room that we and the butt of the joke is someone who we thought Miss appropriated the it doesn’t matter but I you before your very eyes. I think no no no it’s it’s it’s that we had a we had a ninja joke we had some but we were having a conversation with somehow touched on that guy and then to the person who described him as having question marks all over his suit was mocked and ridiculed tired feathered because we all none of us looked it up on the internet
the ending of a fucking property IP law you how could you confuse them for the Riddler you idiot I need to buy that person a dog or something now that’s a fair barter their own a dog you know you were in Vegas right yes and Las Vegas you’re a card-carrying socialist you bet and what is the the impetus is sit down and play Slots as a socialist it’s because I’m going to steal this money from the from the system and appropriated to the to the masses or the only honest form of capitalism is the only honest industry and capitalism is gambling because everybody knows you’re going to get fucked like when you enter into it they’re like yes we’re going to fuck you and you’re like cool I’d love a Lime-A-Rita
Rite Aid Society or a turkey that lotteries would happen given that they they often use them to fund schools of stuff right in one we got to stay away from those oh no that could be good though okay we got a real social is coming and he’s going to dress like my podcast to cut a platform let’s make this socialist Rich Podcast and talk about what was the casino at the El Cortez
the undies Casino
you know you see what I am and casinos have the wishing you weren’t come to a place that everyone like you comes right except for in socialism when it’s done as like written as you’re supposed to do it no more that’s what we also nobody’s supposed to go bust buddy ties and then sometimes you win and that’s cool to they don’t put that on the Billboards you might not go broke in the end up sucking dick for crack I thought what if you can provide dick sucking and you need coke right
the new economy has the means of production according to my needs
we’re slipping into the stroke though where we do what we always do this in political conversation where we tend to we fight we I’m going to make up a new phrase and my drunkenness we hyperize every every ideologies because what we want to do is we want to do the city are we want to go like come on we we we’ve succeeded as a nation by blending the right of ideologies in the write ratios and we fail when we get tempted by the Consciousness like we need to step on the faces of everyone who thinks they’re entitled to a fucking dollar that someone else made and it’s like that that is the that’s that’s one gas pedal that did get press that fux things up for everybody in the long term and maybe arguably another gas pedal though I don’t know in the history of this country is it so hard that we’ve been threatened
is eating a lot of people would say we we have but but like that that they could beat the opposite idea is also a terrible idea like the idea that
if you’re feeling weak just follow your instincts and his line up and hang out we got your back and if that’s the the fears that that’s going to go where are you keeping this like who who who Among Us will remember how to be Savage as Ray yeah there’s a nail in it like Jen happens like oil plummets through the floor like Nations go into crisis and then presidents rise up and say everyone’s going to get a job or later you’re going to do this for free is it leak leak leak leak moments of historical inspiration where we Blended the concepts of that we have these words that excite people socialism communism that you do like it it it’s to come on we we we we have so much socialism in our country right now like the people and like all these things like Municipal Services hacked
yeah well the police fire department privatized police for a garbage that goes to the garbage service has been arguing with you that he thinks the 12 garbage truck should show up and argue with each other about to take his garbage way from his house but I’m working on right now cuz I have all this free time now I’ve devoted like it all to something called measure B you definitely heard of it how many other people have heard of measure be okay that’s what it is a very small campaign there’s only a few of us working on it right now but essentially what it does is it you were talking about privatization basically right like the idea of like
oh yeah let’s just let people whose motive is to make as much money as possible decide things that matter in people’s lives and the things that are ostensibly foundational to the pursuit of happiness education medicine if you cut off your thumb be able to get it reattached or is it is that it’s something that only mr. Howell on Gilligan’s Island can have in ginger can’t be showing the 1917
how old was rich so Gilligan did stuff for him it didn’t make a lot of sense cuz Ginger was a movie star but I guess you didn’t bring enough money in case another kind of thought into that is financed his money it’s just I think we talked about this one of the last times you were on is like the financing of the government that the banks are involved in so I could get you a credit union vs essentially it so it’s the idea of a for-profit bank versus a public Bank measure beat would be the first step towards a public bank they might be I don’t know I just you going to let out a bunch of these like
so basically what happens now is when you go and buy an ice cream cone the city puts your tax dollars in a private bank and that private bank uses your tax money to finance investments in oil pipelines in guns in cigarettes private prisons including the very cages that separate undocumented children from their families desecrating native land so actually they love doing that but it is and also the government needs to get financing leaving out of their governmental stuff we’re not going to let you build this park and give you the money unless you make the burning children legal and so like we’re so the charge like a much higher interest like on you
loans in on a credit card loans like you understand like the interest payments are fux and it’s just extracting labor from literally blackmailing the government power to do so and since that happened we’ve dealt with like these horrible problems just coming from money not being in line with what the public needs for a society and it plays into economic crises right right because Banks and this is kind of shocking they can just straight-up lend out like 90% of their deposits to anything but they want which is a pretty obvious Fly-Rite staring at you in the system that everybody just degrees is fine that you can lend out 90% of the money you have like I do
yeah I’ll look into it yeah okay I see is is hopefully trying to help you know Banks not come into problems where they ended it to where they don’t have the money to when there’s like a massive run on the banks you don’t know so far is just taxpayers bailing out people so everytime basically we Finance all of this damn playing that these total like translucent sideways blinking millionaire dudes in New York these are not my real believe so I’m just exaggerating for only an Elite Class of super lizards visible from above happening off of the literal worst things in the world and we are subsidizing our own Extinction measure be the first step to stop that because instead it would not extract all this money from the Los Angeles economy it would keep
in the Los Angeles economy and invest it specifically in things that we deem are good right and so right now City Hall is like really taking our lead which is fucking weird everybody wants it doesn’t the police yeah yeah everybody kind of like there’s a lot of back-and-forth words like we give the landlord this much in the landlord owes us this much and blah blah blah but we’re basically at this point in time unless I’m wrong even meeting that now more than ever California has that sort of power to be like you know what yes it was like 10 years ago and right now is the exact time because of that sort of economic leverage for Californian cities to start doing this kind of thing basically what happens now is it’s about 1.1 billion dollars a year
wiota banks for the privilege of propping up their horrible Industries in letting them profit off of this we owe them 1.3 billion dollars a year isn’t wasted money yeah interest and fees run like that right now this is a fucking insane thing but you’re like always 2018 that makes sense 50% of all infrastructure money in California right now goes directly to a banker’s pocket that’s like way too much percent good role here we’ve got we got the audience’s attention of course I’m a I’m a I’m a I’m a I’m a ringmaster
my profit relies on me keeping these people locked in the end of my addiction to my content
some of them might be going hey Dan what’s up what are you doing would you just feed me a bunch of numbers and a bunch of stuff
here’s the thing though we’re going to wrap it we’re going to do we’re going to disguise it in a little entertainment we’re going to do a little I’m going to be glop the the bank I’m listening
I need you to do more than listen to because I need your help I don’t know how to hear a bank in entertaining provide you with a platform to be like I don’t want to spoil it but I prefer see you going like hey clip-clap you can’t take 21% of that or whatever and you kind of like we put it on a spoon with some gumdrops on it with your topping from the bottom right now and what if what if there’s a character called m c b m c be like for measure be alright measure b c i m c b could be the spokesperson Ray
pocket pop the bank as the spokesperson of the situation because he’s a banker is our Greek chorus right more or less okay you guys are having a bad situation and he shows you the tickets A Better Way measured all right all right all right so I’m like a customer and I’m with the bank can my name be Josh still
that’s fair I’m the bank okay okay now I want to be someone else can I be Antonio Banderas in person in months into that expressed a desire to to to be him a few weeks ago about financial Financial power
the original prankster by the way I think it’s my thing and I think he’s on your fucking kill me what is he training Jiu-Jitsu if you have to ask nothing but there’s some sort of emotional strain. I was going to ask what happened
all right he says sure okay setting up my bank because I’m sure you know like glip glop it well we want to
except him right to a public bank then we can accept kind of like a book of Mormon I assume doing a Tonio Banderas want to be in the same employee of the bank okay and I’m bringing the okay and I’m like well this is a good morning and that’s it okay
all right
is it going to be as good as Book of Mormon it’s going to make people vote for stuff to
yo oh
oh Bang Bang into America
here come the finance go flip the sign open for business business Coast to Coast Brown on the edges and white in the middle but everybody dances to this Bank spittle welcome aboard it’s your first day of work be a bro don’t be a jerk let me show you the ropes to let me show you how it goes I’ll show you how to handle all the ladies in the pros and the non-binary customers
that’s a growing demographic of disposable income they can get any job they want
but I’ve been Tonio Banderas and I’m here to say I’m at your work for my very first day thank you that’s Brad
this bank it’s all covered in starch morally
what do you mean don’t you like your job where you coming in here like a socialist stop the bank works the way it works for the dollar yo if you don’t like it holler
that your girl your girl being
Hillary I don’t know about you that you do not understand is that you are a bank and I am a man I see what lies before me just saw a kind of horny but but for justice
and what I want is for you to give more of your profits to little kids so they can grow up in a world the truth and not sung underneath the ocean blue
we must say I’ve never spoken to a new employee with your brand of Spitfire they never before higher than employee with my Brenda sweet fire
if we weren’t making more money by through our Latin X Outreach tax subsidy then we would buy firing you I don’t have to tell you what I do however it just so happens I need a man like you in my office today or just temporary place that is right here on the banking floor yes because there’s things I need to read you into as they say I will happily join you in your office which I assume we are walking to now as I am
I like the right cuz it’s Broadway so that the walls are going up on strings in the new walls are coming down and strength I’ll learn the terminology
I think we could use a man like you at our upcoming conference we’re sending a few candidates out to Florida for a global banking initiative that sounds wonderful Florida I love Florida I love tan middle-aged white women and jello shots
yes well just Rick keep representing us the way we like to be represented so we don’t lose our subsidy and you’ll keep your job and there may be a promotion in it for you but do me a favor put a clamp on all this, he talked you were spewing when you came in but what if I told you that in doing some of these, things we this bank here could keep more money instead of putting it away into other place keeping more money and I’m sure we figured out how to turn one of those right now
you would think so will he ever understand
beat it still Antonio Banderas in every way
just have to remind you that double front here’s the thing of course. Don’t talk my moment in the spotlight right here between you and me just me just damn Queen you and me and just me there should be life and Liberty and not pranks that just increased poverty but that’s between you and me me
and him I didn’t think I would rather honestly I’m surprised it’s not crap thing they want you to hear program at Ruby or I’ll cut off my ear OSHA
the plane
it said it’s the sound of a an airplane landing in Florida cuz we’re crossing a threshold to cut the music that are in Florida but your ears hurt Florida moderately priced beverages everywhere fast casual dining iron
oh I’m sorry let me help you pick up these files banking conference to be late now and get fired wait a minute I’m worried about being fired for other reasons that this very banking conference maybe you and I are very like we’re both going to be late wait wait if we took one cab together this one right here wow what they do sex Machina hello do you guys want to get into my taxi cab
for some reason I am a Frenchman
anyone told you so that you sound a little bit like Ren from Ren and Stimpy
yes everyday of my life I have no choice
share this cab but
run counter to everything my parents taught me about how to use them you have a choice you didn’t you do not have to get into any cabbage and I want to get into just wait now and understand they can’t see if we compete individually maybe you would get a tab faster than hearing me give this emotional speech but if we work together and share the cab like two people who share maybe a planet and that planet’s resources maybe we can get there on time and not get fired but prosper
I’ll do it right now and think about it later we had straight person whose name I don’t know yet it’s windy windy windy windy
hear me blow
others know it’s the Winds of Change
RBS The Winds of fear
I’ve got put that swings away
how’s it going to go away now if only I had your confidence and your wisdom Antonio if only I could
if only I had your long black locks and piercing eyes if only I had your body and yours mine to keep why don’t we share this
in a collective drawers for underneath the cab are you open
I’m taking you to the economic conference I understand
on the banking world one day it was next door to the airport you didn’t even have to get into my cab do you know what I don’t even want to accept any money from you because it’s Jesus like the love that you have provided the world is enough to sustain a whole Community what is it about you ever since I met you
purses with no standardized currency
people tell me that all the time
hey Wendy Antonio why don’t we if you mind if you are in my hand
I know we did it already but I might have you get the proof that I am okay and why don’t we walk together into a new world of sharing Banking and our hearts when we going to go to the conference right I meant to metaphorically but literally yes I mean let’s walk directly into that Holiday Inn Express if you’re asking can we sit together at the Seminary of course oh cool I guess I have some abandonment issues so I didn’t really read that right you have to go all the way around the back of the convention center. Back in the cab and I’ll take you there right now it is not based on capitalism agreed-upon Finance it’s just the fact that you have made me smile and I will give you a free ride around the back of the seminar thank you so much for explaining that to her
absolutely wants to really I can I give you some advice sure

abandon them
abandon those issues of Abandonment I’m going to leave them behind I promise you afraid I will to be left alone I will right now in the place where we first met this guy makes me know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you will you share your life with me I’m afraid you abandon him
but I’m also afraid to be abandoned
and I’m not afraid to abandon those fears I do
let’s skip the whole Bank in conference there’s nothing they can teach us let’s open our own bank based on cyclin B what’s the thing called that’s like going to be certainly not sex on be yes I don’t know why I go back to Phoenix with that coming to my house because you’re feeling so many things right now we’re getting married on Facebook as it’s the only people who are probiotics make a painting by making it look like this and you’re going to do abandon that leave it behind, every morning
we are going to get married and
Gucci Mane kitchen
well I mean it’s so that’s what I’ll probably faking I mean nothing nothing bad happened to them they just met and fell in love I guess some stories are small
all right well I don’t want if you guys got into my cab I was going to abduct you both into that’s what it was seeming like that he’s a double agent working for the saying it was it was very nice out of the professional improviser so he he knew where he was going and we didn’t
no but you got me falling in love and singing and there’s no way I would have you would laugh at that I didn’t know if it will be like who burned I’m not I’m not upset but I think maybe it’s some of the people are resentful of you for being so absent lately
or maybe the Races they hate Brandon I don’t know
only your vote will decide
the B is for Brandon
9 * B
measure B is okay now forgive my ignorance
so do you know the public bank is yet let’s start there
measure B it’s that is it is it a it’s not a legal referendum it’s not something that’s up for vote it is something about yes so it is a very small change to the city’s Charter it makes it legal to create a public Bank currently illegal to make a public bank and the change would make it legal in fact it’s like it’s like stopping at orange stars don’t have to wear condoms so I may be easy to cloak something in the guise of like we’re just trying to keep people safe but I hope that you can also be like I said like oh fuck you know oppression and stuff it’s like it’s not like pornstars or saying like we want to be unsafe keep this all the time.
I think it was the same letter by the guy who’s pushing proposition 10 Vista basically were like yo bro 10 is good because rent control is tight and people shouldn’t landlord should be able to jack up prices when people move out like they should be able to do vacancy bullshit and like jack up the rent however much they want and keep people out of the neighborhood is there a lot of also think about my next thing that I wanted to ask but that’s fine I’m sure measured but is there what I wanted to ask if you could even go to a bar and you aren’t on Twitter like me like I’m right now being flooded with imagery that’s a proposition this and then then referendum that and all his stuff and it’s like and we already know like if we were remotely Savvy enough to get jaded
that you never have no idea what the truth is now this point is just like what I want to ask you about measure Beach for the for the folks that are listening like that are in Los Angeles what can I expect to see on TV or hear from their friends with saw something that someone else on TV that’s like the most common like real elephants eat their dick
yes on measure be like what we might be unleashing the gates the apocalypse because we don’t know on paper what it is shut up that’s the biggest thing is we don’t know what could happen maybe demons right pretty much think there’s talk about this affair enough Jeff how to make sense because we’re talking to the 38 people in Los Angeles that come actually to see the show
four more audience members
so here’s the thing. The other thing is people are like what the city’s going to run a bank how can they run the bank cuz they can’t burp back back back and said that I’ve always so that’s basically literally the guy in the ballot if you read the ballot the argument against measure be for a guy who isn’t he looks exactly like you think he would his name is Jack Harper evil and he has no neck at all that’s on the ballot in the argument against better be he goes
and there is nothing that ran on KCRW today they interviewed a bunch of ice organizers for B and him and he’s like
that’s really what it is I could be a corporation turning more profit than the reality is we would love to have the opportunity and I think it would be better if I do you guys have a real vision for what it’s going to look like because the place has been oh we don’t have any strong it’s only we’re making it legal to talk about now so then going forward if it passes will be able to in City council’s discuss what we want the shape of this to be and actually legislated into existence already doing that right so what what what what how is that process going to work and how is it going to prevent us from like just being taken over or whatever who’s going to govern it what is first
foremost right now the people in charge of the bank’s you have zero means of democracy there companies like mine with you and think of America and open an account and it’s like the babies are so cute that flower pots so what would happen if there would be a very strict Charter that we Soak City Council is letting out organizers have a seat at the table we are also working on state legislation that would need to be passed in order to make her a possibility so I’m doing that because I have already made their Charters they’re able to do what measure be with you for I like Oakland and San Francisco specifically are already working on it
is there like letting the organisers lead the way because everybody’s like oh this saves us billions of dollars and we get to fill in potholes
well I hope so is it a couple years ago it’s an issue that you know maybe different numbers and things but hopefully this happens next is there’s the Injustice League Harbinger so what happens next is the the charter has to be very strict and it has to say we will not invest in oil pipelines or private prisons are fucking baby cages or any of that should I can’t it might say I literally can’t believe I have to write baby cages but here we are is know that I never thought I did not check this box and so and then also prioritize right like if we’re going to not all die in 40 years like the un’s report just said might happen they’ve been saying that for 8 years
first it was 48 years then it was for
yeah I know it
blah blah blah weather changes people or so again has made you tell him I’m so drunk but you’re wearing your alcohol is compatible it’s softer than normal alcohol worried about you do you get horny when soft things touch your nipples are you there for worried about wearing Amy Indie onesie
Harmon of Ivan Ivan wearing draped in Fabric and I’ve been talking to my banking for an hour
I ain’t got no hard on
meundies I ain’t got no hard on it I’m going to sleep like a baby baby I ain’t got no heart
maybe we’ll go back to the drawing board on the baby one but anyway if we’re going to be in 40 years we’re going to need to do it like buy a lot of money in the billions and public Bank after 5 years we’ll be able to renew like we’re talkin renewable energy for whole neighborhood solar panels batteries all that shit because we’re taking billions that we’re going to bad stuff and putting it to good stuff morally it’s pretty black and white about this years ago and there was a couple of there was a cousin of mine that’s what she was very to get it out of get it out of your nationally franchise bags and put it in the credit unions you should considered my account not yell at me but but but inside of an account your whole life
if your bank God bless their soul they don’t have to be evil to be following the marching orders of like we’re supposed to make more money than the bank across the street which is also an International Bank so of course your funds are going to tend to end up parasol missed all of his $500,000 winnings from the casino into mattress
asili wait wait did Isaac money in one Blue Apron that you then
the symbol I got satisfaction of an of an adult child the same lifestyle you’re used to but we have your credit card number but you do have to work too
how much distance you look like a grown up oh you don’t have time to pick and choose your own fucking things baby take the box please
think of it as an adult thing Wheels
don’t have time to check the cabbage
don’t have time to know whether you should buy cabbage we will give you a hug for me into a skillet what about a news service that picks you up like a lifter in a Uber or a postmate or a GrubHub is or whatever and there’s just an adult size shopping cart that you get to sit in like a baby oh my God can you get to you get to go through a farmers market and learn how to like I fucking bike god dammit shopping cart where you get to remember you put your let you sit facing a fucking dude who’s aren’t worried or whatever car rental figure
did you are not here to please this person like you we want you to try throw a tantrum do you like Lucky Charms right now that would be exercised by that sounds like a big bucket joke but I am so I don’t know it’s not really viable as if they have you ever have you ever country grocer grocer dull thing or pedal the car to go to the beer fest last they have to be just in the car and they get like carrots put on them or whatever
Robot Mom likes for like Muppet Babies
tomorrow with her best friends who like Groupon to this experience you had all its go to the Beer aisle and you’re not here you piece of shit are you sure you meant to talk to your mother like that Harmon Harmon party cast 1
Dan Harmon party where any of you ask to be born
I’m so happy my dumb idea got this much traction except maybe a couple people there but must be nice
and I don’t I don’t want to hear their story but but like
but but but like that. Like that feeling that I just read that forgot you was it like that cuz it’s not something that celebrated it but it’s like holy shit like putting your little pushy in a fucking traffic in your crabby little ass around and ask him what you like and don’t like it’s like you got anything that you wanted right like like like is that but it’s actually the agency is what’s delicious dinners you want we got bananas are green they turn yellow eventually you
things to write to be a little prick I don’t mean to like first the Bubble but I feel like with like the right amount of mushrooms you could do this for very home
all reality that that’s could be a huge remember references like like Primal scream therapy you know like like like like like I’m telling you man I’ve been through some shit this year I’m aware of the fact that I have not been through nearly as much as almost anyone listed that is not how I measure is by your measurements but my point is like I’ve been through some shit this year that most notably I can’t talk about and it builds this fucking my therapist has told me so many weeks in a row just like you going to go get a drink are you going to get are you going to medicate this and I’m like
Blake but knowing I ain’t no one invented nothing better like like like like Nick negate that because sometimes I can’t send no cops on a crapshoot for me where it’s like I hit the wrong weed at the wrong time and the wrong amount and then all of the stuff and I’m like what do you do when your foot you know but is old is a fucking Cowboy biting a belt will you suck a snake venom out of his titties by 4 across they had fucking you’re drunk now you the trouble being that you as my therapist says she’s like it’s a preservative like what do we do with shit and it’s like something she’s a little clever about this stuff but I think it’s like it’s a cat if it does it it it preserves it like I have no place to put my rage I’m like I’m like punching shit like a bloody knuckles like I’m like I’m like every once in a while and interrupt into this rage
and I think that it’s like sooner or later I’m going to put it somewhere and he could be a place that hurts me or or or another person and I feel like I actually like we must all feel that constantly where it’s like how do I get to ship my pants and actually maybe that’s what virtual reality could be is like you throw these tantrums you just go like until this last year this is where I came to sit as well tell you they’ve been pushing me in a shopping cart
Carmen and I’ve been I’ve been going to be Fruit Loops and that you guys have been like what do you mean do you want to be socially conscience and a link
I don’t know depends if I asked you or not
in an epic then like there was this marking point of leg January 2018 or it was like okay strategically and hell and it is every reason and every, Dan you’re not allowed to say what you’re feeling and thinking and what is a tantrum that it’s a it’s like it’s the most children like you piece of shit you should never look look at that fucking you’re in the airport and you hear a kid going like a terrible little people they’re having the fucking tantrum in the middle of an airport our species maybe that’s the that’s the next wheel is like can we find it because what are we having right now politically we’re having a tantrum tantrum over everyone’s having a fucking tantrum I mean so okay. Couple of things one
it’s a it’s a concept that’s like Japanese therapy that was very hilariously used in the show T located which is like a criminally underrated show and it’s just a room that they set up and they just give you a fucking hammer and it’s just like a CAT scan of hugging and a billionaire millionaire I know it’s it’s it’s just stuff its property which is not violence it’s vandalism when property is destroyed and therefore it’s fine sorry to be uncle fucking socialism but if we get rid of that we are willingly participate again
and also just make things better in the way that we absolutely know is possible then everybody wouldn’t feel like screaming all the time jealous of our forebears of which is that and maybe this is the over-simplification You Look Backwards because maybe it wasn’t simple back then but like chapters that we look at counter culturally it’s always the people that are unashamed versus the people that are ashamed and we don’t have that culture we’re going on right now we have two different kinds of people that are both like like willing to engage in shame and fear arguing with each other about which type of Shame should pay which type of dividend and which amount and it’s like how are you going to win that fight like I got to be some way to fucking move this this this Alliance that it’s like like the in that classic tradition of like look man I don’t like that you can fucking make fun of everybody you want you can like her ass everyday anyone you want but
if you’re harassing them they’re on my side I don’t fucking care like I am not signing up for this boy scout troop where everyone dresses the same and doesn’t have any fun and let the enemy say
and let them prove it because they can’t hang a man because they’re wearing Fred Perry and do something outrageous over here and they’re laughing all the way to the fucking troll Bank like it’s like we got to talk I hate that bank in the city traffic sound like Pepe Bitcoin I know it is like just over racism because that’s they have kind of been retreated to us a point where it’s like I guess we got to take pride in this because you know Taylor Swift is mad at us and Kanye stopping at the politics now you know
Point were ten years ago everyone was racist than that means that everyone can now go back 10 years and find something racist you said which we should all be mindful of and go yeah sheet changes I was fucking I said shit that is bad 10 years ago but we are in this mode I think of like my only point I’m not even certain you know what we need to do I only came up because my Tantrums I think the reason why Tantrums are so excited to me right now is because actually we’re constantly throwing them online at each other even people that are on our side we are young we are crossing at the mask and if you told the Martian what level of Technology we were at and then said if you told them we would keep the technology where anyone from any device no matter what their income level basically like with some for the price of a fucking book of matches you could basically have an opportunity to type anything anywhere in a
seen by everyone depending on whether or not anyone thought it was worth reading that all sounds to me like the Martian would go oh so you probably have a lot less frothing at the mouth and fucking crazy tirades right and it’s like and then you got no the opposite of the Martian well then something must be wrong with that you’re not telling me plugged into what’s happening exactly everywhere and like our brains aren’t used to like being like fares is horrible thing happening in a country I’m just telling you about for the first time ever you’re going to learn about a brand new country because of a horrible thing that’s happened all that information is that in your brain is something that a lot of our parents kept telling us if you don’t if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all if you like Golden Rule shit that we think goes out the window because we’re looking at something that that excites us that traumatize is us we we believe that there’s a deal-breaker that’s present in
phone and it’s like no motherfuker that’s exactly the point where you’re being tested right well it’s cuz you’re not looking at a human being and getting the facial recognition of like oh you’re a person picked friend punched in the face you’re not going to have to not make eye contact with someone that’s more powerful than you all is all the shit that we should we should be as far as incentivization to express ourselves or not and that that’s another reason why we’re being tested and and trained by this technology it’s a it’s like like oh I just watched the guy gets shot to death on a street and I want the cops gun tremble in his hand like I like and then and then I and then I have a bad day at work and then my therapist goes like yeah but don’t you think your body knew you saw that it in and I’m going to let you know but I didn’t talk about it I retweeted it
turn our backs on that but it’s like we are currently acting like it’s normal to watch people get shot and killed like it’s normal to wake up everyday to the news that everyone’s a piece of shit and they were all going to die which may or may not be true I’m not saying that’s a lie but it’s fucking weird messaging to get when you wake up and I’m telling you we didn’t get it when I was a kid every day Snoopy Garfield
you got it that way just kick the Kaiser’s ass and then I’m going to fire you really hot in the S house dude man I know too many times
whatever I’m I’m a tantrum tantrum technology that’s what we need we need we need that I will scream assisting technology it’s like truly cuz I’m telling you I’m still walking around I can now measure it by therapy cuz my therapist to ask me what’s happening in here I have a column of rage inside of me that I can measure and observe and I don’t have to act on it cuz I’m 45 I can just let it sit and burn but I know when it’s zero I know when I’m like a fucking tight in the window and I’m like
I feel it I feel it every once in awhile you become drunk it fills up and then you can feel that you don’t it’s it’s it’s and you can you can punch a wall and have it really not go down right there is you really think I have punched more walls this year then I punched the year I got divorced and it’s been in the last couple of months and it’s been because of outrage about shit that I can’t talk about and it’s largely been about that meta fact that I can’t fucking talk about it so I punch a fucking wall because what the what else am I going to do the alternative would be to pollute my relationship with Cody to pollute my my workplace to wear
do you go when you are filled with just a foundational fucking incompatibility with a planet full of idiots TJ Maxx
Vector slogan you have a we got to know how close I think that I mean I don’t know I I feel like there’s a lot of people right now who just have a voice for the first time with the internet there are folks and marginalized groups that are speaking out for the first time but there are people who are like us who are white men who aren’t really used to being challenged a lot
happening now and it’s up to us to just sort of be like well you know we kind of just got to suck it up and deal because boil Boy hasn’t been easy to be a white man not only did three years ago on this podcast that I knew I wanted to make sure I acknowledge that the voting concerned like you know I was on this very podcast I was I’ve changed from a guy who was like your phone and I was in my forties saying that I used to know at that time I’d like to say if you asked me what my deal breaker was I would have I would say I don’t know if Ash is cuckoo buddy but however I’m going to give it 20 years ago and when I was when I was 25 yeah I mean if I was living in this world now would I leave an Instagram comment on
a man’s Instagram whose cartoon I like telling him to get back to work cuz it’s correction techno never know this horrible but now they have a voice
who exhibit are saying things like we’ve been we’ve been equalized like you can’t it’s very beginning of the start of a whisper of it from a emotionally retarded nineteen-year-old from a 25 year old who’s been abused as a child from a thirty-six-year-old at the lake all of that shit is out the window probably ultimately if we survive this Rapture a better thing than a worse thing because throwing out biological strata is probably going to could benefit us if we survive but yeah we’re going to need to work together to survive the horrible things that are in store for us in the future but I guess that means that if you’re a 45 year old and you’re like I hate the world like the test upon you if I expect today’s twenty-five-year-old to comport themselves with some dignity when they’re leaving, to my girlfriend’s Instagram that I have to look at myself as Gandalf and go well you have responsibilities to
find up if if if if if if if if Peregrine cook knocks a barrel down a well
I don’t care. I’m out of here Philip or at level nine
over here for fun I will be able to do that but I’m realizing now okay maybe don’t be irritated by him because he also he’s the acid test is he goes You shall not pass to a fucking balrog he’s out there and he says fly you fools to be fair to him he gets to apparently lives through that lost that fight to the demon and fell through a thing and then I
I think that’s a good metaphor for the structural by benefit that being a white man has in this Society become Gandalf the White bag and also the toxic male white fragile you can take my stuff for my cold dead hands I don’t know why I’m using this voice when there’s literally my justification for having bought a gun did you buy cognac cuz I might show myself because that’s one of the things I might have
all right that I would maybe right that’s why everyone didn’t laugh
fireworks ever like for instance I would never I’m never going to kill myself cuz
Cody dies if Cody dies in my my promise is not broken it’s code is cuz you already back track
what you just said is you ever kill myself wait a second but technically
Somalia Somalia
what water is in a whole face is covered in water
swing away in that it supposed to happen if I talk to my marriage has been dead for 35 years
who puts the Larry Cable Guy of sports belt
end of the road but I drove it off the cliff of anti-Semitism like her cuz it turned into Lego everybody it’s a different kind of different kind of hate
they say the call is coming from inside the house of course it’s my wife
every night going to wrap it’s not a good idea for a rap it’s the worst concept for a rat sense that you will never see a lobster trap was the bucket if you laid it on his side the left it’s a bucket hold you in backwards and go in it but your mama in an hour in a minute
give it up for again Josh androski
look at the measure B I’m just here on your camp trailer your gate Master Spencer Crittenden your Mare
Jan Jana’s Harman not know what’s happening
thank you for coming everybody drive fast and take chances
he’s trying to get to you
currently not
is that you got to be


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