Episode
Description
Dan and Spencer dig deep into the how’s and why’s of their Red Dead Redemption 2 addictions, Jeff is sober. Crescendoing in a panel of three audience members talking shop with Dan, therapy shop. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis and Spencer Crittenden.
Transcript
I just totally shocked my lip on that it was very uncomfortable hello game
thank you all for coming
play MacArthur Park Los Angeles somewhere near downtown LA on a Monday night
but bring out the game Master Spencer Crittenden
and your Mare
Dan Harmon
I know
coming in hot
what the hell is going on
I’m not sucking anything in Hip Hop you got to stop eating like a piece of shit if you want to be beating your weight into submission affect your mama with my nocturnal emissions
autopilot they call it the factor without even try it in the it
I’m bored with your momma’s sexually
oh damn it took over 300 episodes going to finally
highley Tire of that there is a pretty good run I got to say it was the longest relationship with anything at any job ordered. It will be like I’ve never committed to anything longer than I have your mama
I mean I wonder I wonder how many times you Flex The Mamas
to the North and the South
three or four it seems like the kind of busy work for this person but it seems for someone to be happy but it seems like the kind of thing that someone on the internet would just go through and they would give us an accurate count and how many times has the phrase fuck your mama has been said what do you think it would be to take a jelly bean jar count like a saying fuck your mama I would say
1700 *
it might be more than that that might be a good price is right bitters Rollo ball you’re going to say 1701 and fucking win and get up there and Price is Right from absolute I’m guessing 1715 autism autism
I think that they would think with much higher a much lower numbers got to be less than 300
it’s going to be less than 300 yeah you really think I’d episodes gone by without let’s say if you wrap half the episode and in 3/4 of those you’ve mentioned it at all then that’s what like 40% of the episode so you have to fuck them to the north and to the South 3 * / rap I thought this was about fucking them both in the north of the South these numbers 2000
no no this is different
now that’s why I didn’t go with the 300 minutes that’s the number of episodes of because maybe I got up there and then but then it’s like it is my crutch you know the only time I’ve ever done away with it full episode I’m going to say actually you know what I think that you are just way too low I think you’re right. The last time I checked they had Avid plugins this was still when I was working at Community like we’re like I think like Yahoo season
like I haven’t had this plug-in that I can’t remember what it was called but it’s the you could you can type in a word like butterfly and it would go through all of the footage in the bins in like bring up Clips mark and it would be like Donald Glover saying butterfly Chevy Chase and Butterfly like like you type in the word and it would it would it would voice recognize without having to do it in real time we’ll just go scrub through all of the data instantly and bring up a list sorted by relevance or whatever like closer to you and at the top of the list it was just like holy shit that this is everyone saying butterfly and then they would be like a steep drop down to people saying you know give me a piece of peanut butter pie or something which is also useful if you were trying if you were going to edit like a fucking like mints or something that rhymes with butterfly
peanut butter pie was just a credible I got gloves in my anymore but but beyond that leads to the digital there really hasn’t been you know there’s been so few things that actually make it a faster thing to edit which is always been this frou-frou medium hybrid of of engineering and Artistry in editing to be the domain of man and that that is an intentionally exclusive statement only male editors can
speaking of progress Stanley has progressed off of the off of the Mortal realm his mission accomplished that was 94 years old 555 what a life, yeah yeah that was a Rick and Morty thing as being Justin we went to Kamikaze Kamikaze and got to
he signed a thing and it wasn’t really like compartir was Stan Lee
but
you know where you staying at the DC stand for
I don’t really care about that stuff like like at all anyway anymore I’m tired but notable that that that in like I mean Stanley was obviously we were like oh we have him to thank for a bunch of shit that we’ve been talking about for the last 25 years alone but the idea of living a life so complete that in your way past your eightieth year which defy make it past 80 I’m going to be like I just imagined myself the all I’ll be doing is it will be all pharmaceutical based in like paperwork and likes getting sued or whatever you do if a state other just fighting for just for the right to disturb squat on terra firma
but but in his in his I mean you got to watch the the the thing that in your bio pic usually just has to happen in that like one paragraph after the person of the Bible talks about dies you know Charlie Chaplin goes away and then the paragraph says and he wouldn’t you know now today he’s taught in universities and would have loved to the blue and you always have that feeling of us a little sad I was Picasso or so and so could have could have been there for that part is kind of neat that he was he got two pretty sure he left like well at the after the credits of his biopic he’s probably like you know what if I stick around for 10 more minutes like something awful’s going to happen if you really really really nailed
what is a little time there was right at the end and it wasn’t there a little weird about him suing his manager or somebody’s out there was some kind of honors I don’t know. I hope I hope I hope it was a legitimate exclusive scoop I heard that he didn’t like really get do any of the comics are Fantastic Four like any of the comments he got known to 4 until he was like 40 years old still like like it’s not just like your old man and then his life started but otherwise than the message becomes as Bland as like oh I hope I get to do stuff that not that must have been nice for him right but yeah I know a lot of people
show me or hopefully a lot of people don’t have my email but whatever people that slide into my DMs
among the things that people ask me call the am I too old to try to start doing what you’re doing if I’ve been up until now a plumber an exterminator or up in The Bicycle Thief and of course you’re supposed to say absolutely not you’re never too old but I actually believe that that that that that you know you have to start when you’re 20 in such a great example because he was basically it’s like hey guess what the TV writing business you got sued for it and I don’t know if they even cleaned up their act or they just like existing Industries these existing channels let the kids ask how do I do it how did they do it yesterday but the the the blessing and curse of may be feeling like you’re too long in the tooth to strike out do something is that
got no choice but to carve out your own Niche like but absolutely I mean it’s like he’s not known for that it’s not like ABC news today is going to be known as the late start early all the time from 32 to 40 and I like what the fuck am I doing how many times do you think he may be thought of why am I drawing sequential pictures of a guy climbing a loss has never
he’s not going to go anywhere other than the wall
oh yeah he’s still not here though I’m glad he’s not here. Call that the truth would be more depressing he’s happy to find out that I pray for pray for Sunshine prepare for rain I think that I don’t know how to get acquainted
who’s the New York Express story that happened in New York that is going to drop on the next episode after this one that we Tyler really like during the week for off around Thanksgiving, things went a little hairy on the way to the recording like I said look we’re either going to be safe we talked and we start talking about it the our trip to New York or that’ll be the entire 90-minute show you became Sid and Nancy
Joey Ramone was famously known for falling asleep outside
we were over served as is the headline you got to check out the episode it’ll be a really good one
we know you guys are fans for listings of the podcast real drunk when I said it but I babbled a little bit at the end cuz I didn’t want it to just be a maypole dance around people getting drunk and having embarrassing things happened to him I won’t let you know I want I I want to repeat myself for that episode but I just put this is going to be a recurring theme now after going through a year of like sorting through a bunch of shit like my new thing is like got to be vulnerable got to be honest got to be transparent gotta gotta just even even though there is this increasing pressure from a reaction chamber this is this is this world that were voluntarily or not transitioning into we’re becoming these digital creatures and we can’t have that Digital World be a place of shame that can’t rule the day did you guys see this is the trumpy bear and thing
trumpy bear then there was this ad aired on Fox news for trumpy Bear seems like it was a joke and it was like it could have been an onion produce commercials with trumpy bear joke inside of it open at home and American flag blanket out of its tummy and curl up with trumpy bear and it comes with a certificate in a motorcycle Harley is Angel Harley’s Angel is my bro or something seems like a joke by Thalia about it the reason I bring it up is because it is because
steer optimistic hope here it is that is that this is crap Nathan Fielder or John Oliver like that we’re going to go to find out a couple months from now but who knows or someone or someone doing that because it’s if it is that’s that’s ingenious because and it and then that would kind of made me realize how much we need that were there this is about or not like that is for my continued frustration that that to the extent that you view our country is being in any kind of like a battle between two sides you it’s your choice if you don’t want to see it that way I understand that you’re a Harman the town audience and I’ve been that guy for more longer than I’ve been this pick a side guy wouldn’t Force anything on you but if you do perceive this kind of like two sided thing it’s died again I did the next thing you might perceive to your frustration is that when did when did we we are
laughed when did we when did we become the the ones that aren’t funny like like like that because that’s how we started is for sure that there is nothing funny or smart about about the views that are that are that are held by the that other side there for a while what a crime it is that they’re the trolls that they’re the only ones doing the bits in the practical jokes and the stunts and it’s like it’s like we got to we got to get that that scepter back where we should we should be having orgies in the streets and making jokes that they don’t understand and high-fiving each other for being misunderstood and understandable and and we should be be able to stand side-by-side with with with people we don’t even get but we know that we want them to have a right to not be gotten and into the point where the only way to be on that other side is to be either silent
and ashamed or loud and embarrassing to those other people that are silent and and that’s that that’s where you want your your foes otherwise you’re just a wash in this thing that that’s been our beautiful you know the kind of somewhere caught in the middle people they get they get that luxury of going like I don’t see any difference between you guys and that’s when we lose big-time you lose that big giant middle of people that are like I’m tired of this shit I’m tired of listening to Mom and Dad bitch at each other I don’t I don’t think of yourselves and afraid of each other and trying to convince somebody of something that’s not true in your you’re both lying and you’re both politicking and it’s like a great Revolutions in our great victories against fascism have always come down to how can you fight organic Freedom how can you fight sexuality how can you fight poetry how can you fight humor
I’ll be fighting music if there’s nothing to get your hands around there’s no throat there but yeah the culture War we got it we got those socialists greedy memes now though
that’s like the first positive step we’ve taken ever but I can make make them all by us egg then reveal to them three months later that all of that money went to Black scholarships or abortions or whatever and and and and and then and then they have to take it down from the gun rack in there bar and either burn it
but it’s got an American flag in it it’s like a little caveat in the thing that says the question is is it a real thing that’s kind of a cynically jovial right thing which wouldn’t be the first time I mean they’ve gotten everyone but but it’s like it’s either that or it’s a very specific caveat about you can’t return this damaged and it’s sort of like I don’t know it’s got to be it’s got to be at the graft a put on a Trojan bare
this is know if you watch the ad truly the actors do seem like they’re kind of like trying to be like almost joking I don’t know it’s really rise line having a good time but if it looks like it’s real they’re going to sell a lot of those trumpy bear on the television selling something you can’t just put on a TV it cost a lot of money Jeff yeah go for it
I’m like a Build-A-Bears what like 30 bucks twenty bucks okay I don’t know
I’ll leave you pointed out that we have yet to talk about Red Dead Redemption 2 today now before I go into this I really want you to understand that I have
I’m one of the people who sings this is a masterpiece of a video game so I did I know how I know how tough we get about our video game culture like the it makes makes that was a good movie that was a bad movie look like a fucking Civil War reenactment compared to Vietnam late like the way that people are like you’re wrong it’s a bad game so I feel like the need to disclaim this and go I’m a fan of the game because I was just I was just doing a bit for myself with is Cody sent me tweet a picture of a tweet from a guy that’s that tweeted gave up on Red Dead Redemption 2 because I couldn’t figure out which horse was mine fuck this game
so I texted Cody back all he has to do is whistle and his horse would walk up to him fuck that guy
I just learned you can like put you can tie someone up and put them on the back of their own horse and then put on the back of your horse then get on their horse and ride their horse and whistle for your horse to follow behind you and then you can carry a deer on the back of your horse to everyone with except for the person is there a button that says whistle or hell yeah there’s a button at the end but don’t you just use the butler there together in the button the bluff is
that was a nice to have some storms we all know how many buttons we got in the button by mistake of typing haha now I got a nickel in me and I
what a provocative asshole she is it the way that lets you pick it up and she texted Hi okay I go back to sleep come cuddle soon Harvey saving your spot for you which is her saying you know enough so I kind of like I was like it’d be funny if I kept going
all right he should give up because the missions require you to slaughter entire towns but if you accidentally press the fart button while you’re tipping your hat your honor goes down and ammunition cost more
you should give up because if you kill a man that tries to kill you in another man sees you do it you have to run and make the third man Pinkie swear not to share his experience with his family over dinner because if you just chilling the price of bacon goes up but if you just ignoring me instantly tells the world you’re a murderer and that means you have to go to the Post Office
it’s true these sound like bitch and I put it on it was not be saved this is not your default hat smells like you told me to pick up the Hat
there’s almost only one reason he shouldn’t give up on Red Dead Redemption 2 and reason is because you can’t find your horse you can only find your horse is that gave birth to the bottom of Clips. Some things that are harder to find than your horse in Red Dead Redemption 2 your clothes your friends your objectives a satchel with room for more than nine sings oh way to survive without hearing nine pieces of food a bowl of Stew your own left leg while taking a bath the guy that keeps moaning in the hotel in the town of Valentine away to fuck any of the 26 workers in the saloon that compulsively ask you if you want some company every time you walk by them interactions with random men that don’t force you to choose between beating the fuck out of them were walking away while they call you a pussy treasure maps that function more like Maps than Pictionary with an autistic child
a way to win a gunfight with more than two men that doesn’t involve running away and sneaking back seven times any recourse whatsoever to role playing is anything other than a sad drunk confused psychotic wobbling through mud slurring and everyone are hiding in the wilderness mutilating animals in the pathetic hope that if you cut enough skin off enough gear you might be able to pick up enough motor function to walk from one end of the room to the other without accidentally dying or killing well now I want to go home and play somewhere because I just remembered how awesome this game is
it’s good
hahaha okay come home now please I got to work more sorry I did had to work more did you well not as hard as I did not know that
I had this built what like one of the last things I did because the game like kind of puts these like random events in front of you and so it’s this these two lawmen are pulling a wagon with a with a prisoner and just between you and me the prisoner is like an older black woman and she’s saying like I didn’t do it I didn’t do anything I’m innocent and so I’m like what the game is telling me I got to save this lady and so I sneaked up on them and shoot them both in the head and I’m trying to I’m trying to hide the bodies because you know I don’t want to go get in get in trouble and so then another cop comes and I shoot him and then I’m like well I’m just going to let this lady I would run away and then so then three more cops, I get a big fire find I kill like four horses on accident it’s a whole nightmare I have like a $40 bounty on my head and then I finally let the old lady how much by the way Sunny just sold turnip farm down south that you can Rob and I was like what the fuc opportunity
it’s weird you know it’s weird because I never I would never confused in a Grand Theft Auto game because everyone sucks and that was arguably culturally let alone in that ended with the with gaming is the fucking epicenter of this like crazy cultural like fucking teacup ride that we did but obviously the Rockstar Games in Grand Theft Auto was like this thing it was like it’s gaming its own medium not only are we not accountable to its standards and practices we’re not accountable to like any like constructs of morality even the individual human might have which you know I like like I understand why people would get alarmed of that leader being encroached upon I don’t know how how much thought the people that get mad put into it but I I do remember going boy this is this is really actually very
valuable latitude to have a medium in a world where we’re such a successful first world Empire that are television shows even though they’ve progressed from someone’s got to keep their foot on the floor or if they’re in the bedroom together to being able to look at two people wearing pajamas in a bed next to each other we’re in danger of stagnation when we get successful in our media becomes another product like eggs on a shelf that’s like so safe and so police but you know how to react to restrictive thought you know where or anomalous fought with the
cynical is awful it’s so cynical but it’s so valuable that its expansive and well-being so fucking poisonous and it’s equally poisonous to absolutely everything about Society exactly and anything because through that if you lose that you’re certainly fux no matter how good you think you are as a society and end ends in I mean that’s a long ago now it’s weird to think of it as long ago because that game was so relatively like I just don’t think of it as like a recent accomplishment that is Grand Theft Auto 3 represented the music kind of Leap Forward in sandbox open-world gaming app and it’s how we keep making Grant
Auto games and like even better ones through an era where like you know this gamergate shift starts happening and people are having these conversations about what what cultures are we promoting and why are you mad why are you mad are you mad what are you trying to protect I’m not trying to protect any way you trying to attack it I didn’t attack anything why you trying to keep everything the same I’m not trying to keep it the same I went there was the but it’s amazing to me that that that that that you know that it’s like they have the old west version of Grand Theft Auto with my Dead Redemption right now this is 7 years in the making the sequel to that to that game and it’s just so it’s it’s interesting to look at the tightrope that they’re walking and complete different than like morals but I think it’s a little confusing cuz I told very confused that I wouldn’t want them to you know what the most moral thing you could do in Red Dead Redemption is shooting people in the foot and then tying them up and leaving them
Bush’s that’s completely legal no one will ever call you for doing that so I could you get caught by the pail you have to pay $40 to the post office in Grand Theft Auto $40 is a lot of money Jeff it’s not fucking 2018
in ends in Grand Theft Auto you’re always in a car if you do something wrong you get a wanted you get wanted stars and the fun of it is if you eat you know you got one go like a little kid playing tag or something you know you got to have these paint shops around town is basically one of it one of only a few ways that you can if you get during a high-speed chase even if it keeps increasing in Stars so the more stars you wanted the more levels of law enforcement come out so you live in Chile as helicopters and SWAT teams and tanks and the National Guard comes to get you in and you can just pull into a spray shop and have your car instantly spray-painted when you pull out as long as you don’t bump anybody on the backing out your your your free again they’re not they can’t find you your car is a different color obviously that’s ridiculous however if you look at it from a gaming mechanic standpoint it’s actually hard to emulate that in the old west it under any circumstances now you can just go get your horse
it somehow Works a little bit of a point is I don’t think it’s really all internal logic issue I think it’s that I think I think the part of them being great at making games is that they have this sort of almost it’s ingrained in there cuz I see the same names in the credits there’s is that you do not like a new generation of of of people taking over a brand we see the same names of diners and stuff and it’s like I think that they could probably go hand-in-hand big being able to make such a crazy open-world Sandbox game and having a mind was probably pretty allergic to the concept of putting things on Rails rashly morally however you got to admit that Red Dead Redemption 2 certainly it is set in the old west with multiracial characters and a bunch of women in it there’s a notable absence of of the the degrees of
Japs in the moral sense that the game goes to compare a lamb in your face that like no matter what you are you’re kind of the bad guys and I don’t know maybe that’s the point of it and I think because of that I think because there’s like a it’s like so if I can just get it through my head that it’s Grand Theft Auto on a fucking horse and stop but up but I keep being told by the game that when you do bad things though unlike in Grand Theft Auto of Hillsboro empty but at this it’s like I don’t know some was like how you doing and then you like step on her foot in the horses you like
yeah just like a field that’s like oh no I forgot to reload my save it like it feels horrible to do anything wrong in this game where in Grand Theft Auto it’s kind of like haha also the mechanics are like it’s a it’s a it’s a great thing you can like walk and you pull the left trigger when you see someone in contact when you comes up so you can kind of experience these things like you walk by they say random things and you got you got your binary option of triple option cuz you can you can diffuse antagonize our greed but the upshot is that you can walk in real time and almost kind of like marionette a real person in terms of like verbal encounters with strangers if that’s your jam if you want you want is immersive know so you can experience walking and and just pouty fuck yourself they don’t got to be like that keep white and I checked on your end you’re like you’re kind of like all of these things are not like the times not stopping and you don’t have to like get video load this and do that and
cool but the the downside of that is if you’re really immersed in this world you’re walking around and people are constantly saying I don’t like the looks in your face and all you can do is tie him up and tossed him in a bush it’s like a gaming perspective that there is no profit in stopping in doing anything with this person playing so immersive now that I’m like I’m the guy that it took it took so long to go bisexual in Fallout you know because I have this like I’m like it’s part of my I think my clinical narcissism really get me into a game and tell me that you know that’s me and then I’ll take that really serious you very bisexual in Red Dead
I got what I don’t know you can’t even have sex with sex workers he doesn’t seem to be too is that you can’t find your left leg in the bathtub what do yeah there’s a knock on the door and a woman says would you like would you like some help in there and if you pay fifty cents a woman will come in and you can just press any number of buttons that you want to know what part of your body you want washed and then there’s an option to make small talk while you’re doing it and she responds with a rhythmic lie and I was like oh it’s it’s like it’s eventually this is you’re going to unlock a handjob or something that’s what leads you to believe but I don’t know after the first one I was like this just seems like a red herring to me
but then again that’s what I mean Grand Theft Auto was kind of odd that there was a way to a sex worker hot and there’s no funny business no sex happening in the game happening under the water that is both interesting and that he has a poker face about it because he’s stays a cowboy and he doesn’t want to but he certainly doesn’t seem into it he pisses people off he’s an asexual Cowboy it’s great
that would be a huge advantage in the old west I think to be asexual
cuz he’s always having to go after like women and then the Hall of Fame to prison and stuff you know that you can’t be be seductive or you know also is that a thing like or is it thing saying that that phrase either by the way but if anybody like confidently like yeah I’m a sexual that’s what I identify as to have a conversation with you if you want me to be happy if you’re also a cowboy some naive
you can have a cowboy if you really follow the code of what we understand to be the true Cowboy you would be asexual wouldn’t you will yeah I know why why why why
okay Cowboys to Cowboys have sex with land Ginny’s
bisexuality to get you no signal boost it in any contact you’re like you’re like that guy at every protest that has the legalized weed Cowboys when they went to the always leave at the end you know Shane or are you like what is it exactly right off in the sense that they’re like it’s been like by bisexual like bye bye thank you
it is kind of defined at least of the Silver Screen changes like you do I mean one of the major foundations is for sure unless you’re a bad guy you don’t you don’t you don’t cross boundaries with an unwilling Philly you know like you’re certainly not maybe regarding women as equals in a society governed by reason but that’s that’s not your fault of the cowboy you’re just you’re just a cowboy but you but you definitely are you know you’re not you’re never going to you wouldn’t be a good cowboy if you if you took liberties
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually not but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through the New Black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
what you say Waterworld Waterworld by contrast
even even in childhood women are nothing more than maps to dry land
something to draw pain
are there is a lot of questions because it was did they were small cast small sets and usually not a lot of women characters cuz for a lot of reasons that one that what actresses were expensive like to get a big star like like like a Hollywood Starlet in the end of saying that in the same way I kind of like in Die Hard with this Biz often seems in in westerns where the bad guy in the good guy meeting it’s almost flirtatious it’s kind of like this right where did this kind of a sexual vibe to it like in Shane was Jack Palance when he sees Alan Ladd like it kind of checks him out and it it’s kind of like it so it’s almost a little like sexy with your brother and sister act with no eyebrows another activist just 90% eyebrows wanted to go home to your mama
it starts out so good these robots that you can have sex with that look like it will look at their hands do the decanting of science can’t recreate the palm of the 70s Republic we’re going to get there you know what you see these Halloween masks this year they’re pretty but I’m getting that guy looked a lot like Nixon
and we just kind of intelligent design people I have ever make a fake hand we can make a guy look just like Yul Brynner died I did it that there’s an Australian podcast called fatal Voyage it’s a re-examination of the of Natalie Wood’s death I guess I guess I guess it was technically reopened or something like because the captain that was on the boat because what you don’t know Natalie Wood she was West Side Story finally famous actor she she married for a second time Robert Wagner who’s still alive the he was in the show called Hart to Hart and that but before that it was a movie
they had I get out the the Natalie Wood was in a movie called brainstorm with Christopher Walken for some reason this is the part that really confuses travel a lot more than it does me cuz I have always equated Christopher Walken with you like I always do
and I imagine coming off of the deer hunter and having an Oscar like like like like Travis this rattrap just can’t get his mind right it’s like one who invites Christopher walking alone onto a boat to Catalina and just hand it and I’m like Jeff would just be like I’m going to go to ask her how I sound
Aruba
why my Yogi Bear little lad if I just I mean for those who are totally on a doctor needed to this sort of like legendary kind of Hollywood babble-on thing when I did Natalie Wood drowned that weekend and it was like there were four people on the boat including the captain and one of them ended up dead and there was never a day was it was never really regarded as a homicide and so all this time it’s always just been this thing is like something fucked up went on in that boat and there was always the I always I always thought it was very silly and kind of provincial
of people to go well the two automatic courses are like obviously was like he was a jealous kind of husband and a jealousy streak he wants followed Warren Beatty home with a gun because she was in a movie with him and he was like to eat out he’s he’s he’s capable of going there and jealous jealousy so obviously that’s violence and murder stuff usually the first place you’d go to regular and even regular death is you look at the husband about there’s the captain Christopher Walken the guy in the girl looking at Hollywood thing that people would go you know what really happened is Robert Wagner was fucking Christopher Walken Natalie Wood walked in and she was like that’s it and they clubbed her to death and threw her in the water
because that’s the only other scenario that you can imagine it’s like all the Hollywood bisexual and all the stuff
turn this podcast over to use don’t want to spoil everything but it does turn out that Robert Wagner did he was married to Natalie Wood twice and the reason they got divorced the first time is because she caught him in an in an affair with a man to talk about it I was the podcast voyage
did anyone call the RFK tapes I think you’re not Cody finds these and we sleep to podcast which I think it’s something it’s a it’s a it’s a it’s a re-examination of the assassination of Robert Kennedy / this like
weird guy Sirhan Sirhan and a really fascinating like intimate
examination of a really nice smart cool guy who is absolutely convinced that this is an elaborate conspiracy and he doesn’t have tinfoil on his head and he doesn’t he’s not defensively doesn’t her throwing things if you say you think he’s full of shit so it’s like very it’s a it’s a it’s and yet that what he’s what he believes is is the case it’s so you know hard to believe you know that but it’s it it’s just it’s fun it’s fun to listen to for a couple episodes I mean a couple of being the totality I don’t mean it takes a shit in the middle
yeah I like to come to harmontown to get my recommendations for
if you if you haven’t listened to heavy weight ever I’m going to go to Trader Joe’s to get coupons to Ralphs
our friend Rob corddry was on this show as I get to see if it’s a good entry point if you have any other with the heavyweight it’s it’s a network gimlet gimlet media he’s he’s this guy just like gets up in other people’s business so if you have a I think it’s called heavy weight because of the ship that’s like wait on people for for a while and it’s been unresolved and then he’ll just like you people come to him and say you know I haven’t spoken to my aunt in 30 years and I’m convinced it’s because she thinks I’m racist or whatever I did. We had an argument over pretzels at the lake house or whatever it is I just can’t talk to her and she said that you know I get these mixed signals and all the stuff and then he’ll just call her and have like realized at some point in his life that the only thing he was good at was no nose in everybody’s business
otherwise it would be horrible for those with someone else it turns out that they need to confront something about themselves and will successfully get there right when you physically how do you tie somebody up by what’s the interface do you use a rope to tie somebody up hold down the LB button to bring up your weapon wheel okay hopefully you have your lab so equipped already hopefully you loaded that out for when I got off your horse. OK Google. I’ve been canned the L trigger to aim and and swing around oh man you’re aimin And you Let It Go by letting go the trigger and then I think you didn’t immediately have to
hit the trigger again to hold on to it otherwise when you tie them up you will immediately let them go and they will get up and run away but if you hold the trigger and you hold them tied up and then you could slowly walk to them and hog-tie them with the B button or thank you very much sir I wasn’t tempted to do anything but what I was like well I know but I’m not sure what this person I’m at tonight right if I successfully Lassiter from my horse but then getting off my horse I stop and let go of the Rope slashing me with a knife I only did I just did what I always do Iran
I spent so much of that game just running off into the Wilderness so if if you if you if you while they slowly forget I ever existed and go back to John mattera doing if you have you tried a few laughs at somebody but don’t hold down the trigger once they lassoed do they get up and run away yet essentially just a great you really. Since it’s the only thing you could do in this game is tie people up it’s amazing it sounds terrible yeah you can also shoot animals gorgeous game I mean it’s really like that the combination of the kind of Grand Theft Auto V
kind of like I think there’s that you know there’s people that need to give you can imagine his family camps that are like we need to make this thing look fucking gorgeous and have all these details and you should be able to have a cell phone Farm potatoes and then there are times that was teams are the enemy of a of a good game to see just like just make it a little better than San Andreas and we will all would have been so happy but then I didn’t think this game represents that camp getting getting getting to have their day in court let’s make a photorealistic no cutscenes did they try so hard for their never be any transition to anything. You’re just like walking through saloon doors and then you’re in the saloon until you leave and if there’s never any loading or anyting LOL there is some loading I don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t write letters there’s no gas to my feet are tired I usually don’t sit down until there’s a guest nobody do you want
I’m pretty tired of being exploited okay our guest Nova
can I just quickly give a plug we still need some audience members for Wednesday to Friday so if you guys want a free show sometime this week, come to Harmon Quest tapings harmonquest.com particular Saturday and Sunday I think they’re full but we really we really could use some more people there free seats I think so Wednesday to Friday this week Wednesday I’m going to I’m going to get my haircut by the person that’s his job is supposedly only to comb my hair
I’m sure they’re stoked about that yeah so I get paid the same that I have to touch your fucking gross are we doing like any kind of meeting have a meeting before the storm I just showing up to the thing in two days and we’re just going to start bone we belong that again like I’d love to talk to you I don’t know when Aaron showing up but yeah I mean we should do that absolutely we should do a lot of things to prepare that ex-wife Erin mcgathy would buy the before we were Taping that she would probably pop by the show and yeah
good why does equivocal yeah I’ve been good enough when I’m in a weird mood I usually find that when people Pastor me about it and make me explain makes you normal right that evens it out well it usually leads to me being so desperate to steal something that I’ll even exaggerated shit and it will be a conversation that ends with the person going Jesus Christ well God feel better
you kept asking me how I was I had to make something up but is your weird mood that there is still waters actually Run Deep
yeah I’m I don’t know I’m in a weird place right now because I’m I don’t talk for everything but yeah I’ve been trying to get down my anxiety so I started meditating and then that’s great by the way anywhere near forever except me
if I talk to you much that’s good you’ll be interrupted if you’re sharing like a really deeply personal day I’ll be like well let me tell you about that and I’m going to try to eat better and more regularly and I’m going to try to start exercising and hopefully that’ll bring my anxiety down and I’ll be able to function better it hasn’t destroyed my anxiety but it has helped somewhat exercise so I hope you get some relief from that I think it’ll be especially like the meditation and it’s kind of bad and then I’m I’m happy and I’m doing things I like and I’m starting to relax but then there’s also like I’m having all these existential crises and I’m upset about all the awful things happening but usually I never pay attention to but lately it’s really hit me bad and I’m so it’s this weird kind of I’m just having a weird kind of time at home kind of having existential crises and feeling bad and then kind of like finding how to make it okay and kind of having fun and stuff so yeah yeah
and but I didn’t hear your stop me if I know so much about you and I’m assuming none of it is things that you don’t want me to blur into a microphone but you your your your dad picks you up from the show that you were talking to watch it’s just like so he can pick up his stuff and work at a coffee shop or anywhere and he likes to get out of the house so it’s it’s it’s good for both of us he doesn’t mind it it is it is it anxiety-inducing right now no I just kind of I’ve realized
I’ve been well yeah if we can if that’s fine like I want my $10 back well yeah I mean life has been weird for a while in senior year I went into like a half homeschool program that turned out to be the worst thing for me cuz there was no structure so I barely graduated and that’s a joke at the expense of our Public School System that’s a real criticism of her parents did really well cuz they’re kind of different kind of kids in a lot of them are geniuses and stuff but for me it did not work I needed structure and yeah you mean a lot of these programs
I don’t know about other ones but homeschool can be really good for certain people okay or there really really interested in a super specific thing and really good at it or things like that do you have do you have recourse to therapy are you in any kind of therapy like a kid but tells you not to blame yourself for like about kind of like being the way I am or something or I kind of used to and she tries to tell me like no it makes sense why you are how you are and it doesn’t matter anyway I try to be sometimes will be legalized this thing you know about me in and great grandma and chill and she’ll be like it doesn’t matter all that matters is that it’s like hearing what we do about it and if we accept it if we try to get rid of it or whatever it doesn’t matter how or why
things are the way they are very religious question oh I guess it’s kind of like why am I having this problem like yeah I was like I don’t know if there’s been a swing into the focus on the concept of happiness and that like that they might my therapist is constantly saying because I asked her like like I don’t know what should I do this or should I do that or some kind of question is more subjective and so I don’t know I’m your mechanic I’m here to make you happy like that that’s the the goal is for me to be happy not for me to be a good person necessarily although those things tend to go hand-in-hand as if you have a definition of good person and you achieve it you’re probably going to be happier than a few who lived in defiance of your concept of goodness extremely high moral standards just for myself not even for anybody other than myself but
despite the fact that I don’t think I come anywhere close to meeting those or even other people’s standards I’m constantly told all the time we’ll see by my therapist but I’m too hard on myself and I’m too critical and I’m like are you sure like to know are you sure I shouldn’t be harder on myself even than I am and she’s just like know but yeah oh yeah for me it’s usually pretty much everything I’ve ever had that I brought into therapy has been like it’s okay though like you know it’s not that big a deal or kind of like and not in a fake way but really just like no that’s fine like it’s okay or I don’t know if you’re like me that’s a little to satisfy you want you want some Goodwill to get hunted you want to do you want a piffany is you want to do dramatic work I mean it was crazy yeah I spent a lot of therapists I would very often pull out the insult challenges like look up
been here three times like what do you get paid to do I’m still fucking crazy
because by this thing I think this might be a way to fix it and lovable and I’m like and people are noticing this about me and that’s not the way I was ordering services like I don’t know what to do that’s really good and I don’t know she’s very honest as far as I can tell it was very good at being dishonest exactly what does she do for from for all our therapist listening what did she do what was like a moment when you were like okay you’re off the chopping block or okay I’m going to maybe come up to or down to your level but in any case Lake work with you a little bit here as opposed to like when is this bitch going to help me kind of hurting myself and other people ahead of me I’m still like
don’t do that you know how well that’s yeah I mean call me I don’t think it’s about you and might like nobody’s more defensive than someone and self-loathing is a poopy pants and someone goes like if you’re on the more outrageous like I just shot myself but you’re shooting me through the whole definitely exactly is outrageous I think she was a little bit too much of a person that was very blunt and and I don’t know didn’t want to like sugarcoat or whatever and it’s like I don’t know I like people to be nice I like people to be genuine but if one is like a therapist I don’t like if they’re like, Harlem and I think she got to a point where she is still like that and she doesn’t sugarcoat things but she’s learned that I respond to positivity and not negativity so she’s kind of just learned who I am and what I need
you know and that some people need to be like they need of a kick in the butt you know but then some people need to have a little help but like you can do it you know like a kind of it really depends on the person was going to actually motivate you I think I I think my therapist is at the threshold for me was when it was finally set out loud
cuz I know it comes to drinking everybody else other than me as a square like like like they’re not they don’t they don’t understand what I understand about about drinking my relationship with it it’s not and I don’t get nervous when squares get into that territory and then I get nervous about getting nervous about getting nervous because squares react to you getting nervous about the subject of you drinking that the way that they’ve read on the Milton Bradley box for playing talk to an alcoholic cuz it’s just like denial is the first line in a long time of cat-and-mouse with her bringing up my drinking were I was like on one hand not willing to talk about it with her but on the other hand not willing to not be willing to talk about it
did it because they didn’t want to fuel either of those furnaces and and there was just some crucial conversation we had where is she she maybe she finally figured it out that what she needed to do was promised me that she was never going to ask me to stop drinking which you would think would be a horrible thing to do because you either have to stop or you don’t but it did because she finally said that I’ve now had so many more conversations about something that’s so fundamental to my psychology which is a relationship with self-medication then I ever would have with anybody who no matter how Noble their purpose was it’s going to take a position of like about you drink and she finally just like like like a cowboy coming up to a spooked horse you know she fight was like just like the horse needs to know you’re not going to throw a saddle on it which you are
but you know he’s not here is he cuz otherwise there at 7 you by now physical therapist if you will like the guy that comes and watch as we do tummy crunches that’s a pretty good description of my occupation there was a there was a lot of weird and there’s probably an archive of it we’re like I was like
so like that is like a control freak barrier like I don’t want another person being able to come into my home and just tell me to do more sit-ups if I feel like I’ve done enough it’s like it it just like it’s this nerve not laziness but but something beyond that where it’s like I think it goes back to just being afraid on the playground of like guys that are going to football or somebody else but anyways like now that I think about it it’s like the exact same thing I trust is so
powerful and rare I just got to a point in Sarah P remember what I promised you wouldn’t be able to talk forever I just got to a point where it’s it’s like there’s so much shit was like the such a sink full of dishes to do that I was so unenthused about that can we get to this fundamental stuff and do that stuff there’s fucking macaroni stuck to this Trey yes it’s been there forever yes you don’t think it’s important but let’s talk this shit and all the bottles and I finally now just started to have conversations with her about the fact that I don’t have Intimate Relationships like I have lovers and then I have my kind of Round Table of musketeer metaphor mix kind of intentional because it’s like what are we my work with my friends I there’s always like it’s always a business
how is it that there’s always an exit that you know available I don’t I don’t have these friendships that I see portrayed in movies and television let alone described in Hallmark cards but I also don’t don’t know if those are real but like I don’t it’s like trucks like I don’t want anybody to be able to like it’s it’s very generic sounding stuff but like it it’s so fucking profound to me like I can’t just like Spencer and I were talking about this when we were walking in New York talks about that a lot on the podcast and comes out next time I think it was a really valuable thing you so much
I just how do you get to Spencer kind of spontaneously offered me while we were walking and talking about it he had this like you know add personal visual metaphor for his heart like a mental image and he was like I know it’s weird but I see my heart like this and I was like oh no I see my heart and Incredibly specific way to do you have a vintage in your head of how your heart Works maybe sometimes I think about I think more how my brain works
like the way you are the what the pads in and out like if it if you pictured like your feelings as being like in the center of your chest and then that you had to like draw a picture with crayons of like how it works mechanically not pumping blood but like letting things in and out like letting feelings whatever is there like an image that comes to mind or she’ll like oyster from Pokemon with a heart in the middle
how to use withdraw already
in order to give you time to think I will that know not to satisfy my fetish for talking over people I will do mine and maybe if you would take a whack at yours but I just I just but it’s like I’ve always just had this very clear image of this very steampunk iron orb with with with rivets and like it’s just it’s just absolutely proudly defiantly sealed off but powerful and it can you know there’s very specific channels coming out of it that go out of that completely out of its vicinity because the power that’s coming out of it has no place around it that would be really foolish architecture and so it carries things as far away as possible where they can be used and processed and help other people and but the
real key is that if you’re standing near at there’s no fucking way you’re going to get anything but burnt source to scold it or or or a point of Pride how inaccessible it is because it’s like there’s this feeling in my head is like that I that I took me all the time to re-examine where I’m like that’s how it should be should be proud of that it’s like playing a tower defense game like like like like oh look at my inventory you can’t get near it shouldn’t be able to You’ll fuk it up your archers I think the way that I would like I would like how I haven’t I haven’t thought about my heart visually like that but I I think the way that you’re talkin about your heart is I’m just really Jay Nova
what the fuck you now we’re opening ourselves up yet it’s mine iron shell around my heart attack I think the way you’re just as you’re thinking of your heart as maybe I’ve thought about my brain but it’s like maybe I feel the same way about it when I think about who I am in my emotions and how I can be her I’m just kind of picture in my brain but I think I think I would probably think about it and I don’t know if I got really into it I got really into inside out when I came out and I when it came out and when I came out just in the side of the like there’s the five emotions you know and then they have these Essences and memory Islands god dammit
there’s nothing of value here
psychology concept of there being like 5 emotions and stuff and I think I think of myself as a very emotional being in a person of sort of moods and flavors and whatnot that sounds stupid but I think maybe if I were to picture like my heart would be sort of a swirling essence of different colors and maybe sort of like smoke I don’t know like I thought about like Aura I’ve been told by like more than one person like that my aura is purple which I mean that’s like two people so it’s not like oh that’s the craziest coincidence ever like I must be real but I see auras is it purple a good one
I got you a lot of bad or is it just the people who’ve told me I had a purple Aura said it’s like a sort of cosmic it’s kind of different out there in like I don’t know loving or bread or something which it sounds really really narcissistic coming from my own self but yeah I don’t know I think I would think of it as just sort of a thing of feelings and different things and I don’t know I kind of match things up in my head of sort of like oh these things are all have the same essence of the same Vibe and that’s just heard the way I think about things more than like concrete things that’s complicated when you get up to your brain and the breeze and I will dance plane that I find that interesting is because I don’t feel that way at all it’s like the brain for me is like get up there like where you can just run your fucking mouth and Google It For Better or For Worse it’ll all come out in the wash all the stuff however and I know you don’t want to be you know laser focused on as a representative of anything or whatever
but the thing that makes you different from me is is that at some point in your life you started to feel conflicted about identity in a way that is absolutely incompatible with like neurotypical mainstream Society where is I never had to think about myself as anything but a fucking cool Rebel even though I was just that you lately because I never woke up going there’s a thought in here that according to that Miller Lite billboard is a criminal or like Cruisin for a Bruisin or maybe I shouldn’t have maybe I need to just get through it. And so it’s like it’s it’s it’s terrifying for me to think about the brain which for me is like getting up to your strong Corner get away from your heart as like the place that is actually needs to be Tower Defense than an organized and
yeah well I think that that maybe come from sort of that might come from sort of like how well it cuz like I mean that’s kind of why things have been so weird for me lately is because it was only like a couple months ago like probably less than six months ago or around that when I got diagnosed with autism by my therapist and cuz she she hadn’t said anything but I think she knew about it kind of like with your therapist where it’s like she finally felt okay bring up the drinking one day I came in and I was like okay come on ever since I was as long as I can for memories I can remember people being like a different knowing that I’m kind of different or just being kind of different and all these stupid tiny little ways you know that I’m like okay but like nobody else I know is thinking that way even if it seems like a small thing like it’s just sort of like this thing that is all of me it’s not like one particular thing about me so then when she said that and I kind of absorbed it and everything was like okay because
yes like you said I guess what would be different about us is that as long as I can remember I’ve thought about like who I am and like how I’m different from other people and I don’t know how I’m the same and stuff and yeah I’ve always been kind of analyzing like who I am and what I am and I’ve I’ve never been able to kind of bring any sort of practicality to that of like like a lot of kids like act different to avoid being bullied I mean I wasn’t really too bad but it never even occurred to me that I could try being different like I was like okay this is it then I get bullied then her or this is how I try to make them stop the bullying but it never occurred to me to ever be anything other than what I am and now that I’m like 20 and thinking about trying to maybe get a job and stuff it’s so I’m thinking like a couple do I have to enter into a world where I’m not going to be able to be me and I’m going to have to do practical things or something and and I don’t know I think that’s like the thing I love about the autistic
Community is that like Humanity itself in a really magnified way precisely because there is a deprivation of objective truth that comes more easy to typical people that or in the case of if you look at Humanity in the easy for a skunk to know if it’s doing what it should be doing it’s easy for a giraffe giraffes
what’s happy medium do any more sharks or great whatever don’t derail me I’m going to fucking roll can’t you hear this but but but but but but as we will talk to my friend Steve Silverman who wrote neurotribes Italy at the end that that within Humanity that people who have autistic traits also are like they’re like will wait what what am I I don’t have this sort of like compulsion for the sort of like easy truths or whatever but because of that even as uncomfortable as it is it feels dance planing autism dance fighting everything to you but that has to be a very romantic and wonderful concept the because of that there is an increased attention are there may not be what feels like facile awareness and that can feel so alienating and so sad that it’s like it’s a Pinocchio syndrome thing which you do autistic people it looks like they hate
television stuff they hate like neurotypicals going like poop just wants to be human but at the same time there is at the core of that is his idea of I am separate so like you wake up the same as everything and don’t even have to make a choice here I am wondering who the fuck I am
those people have this power to examine the things that other people take for granted and go that you know why I think this tradition of like creative artists and thinkers like I’m going to make Calvin and Hobbes because I don’t know what the fuck it means to be out of me to diagnose that guy but anyways which is really a nice looking cleaned it
but I’ve heard that a lot about being trans because gender is so deeply ingrained in our society and from the smallest to the biggest ways that if you think I’m not that what everything seems to be it’s like
oh I feel like I’m starting from scratch or something and all these personality traits I have to like yeah you examine things more and you don’t like feel like you can fall into easily defined things ya thank God for people going like finally like hey you know what they’re actually is such a thing is as somebody that doesn’t even it can’t the doesn’t know like that you want to play some duck duck goose game maybe. Maybe Goose maybe both I got it like like why don’t we ask that. Like end of course you’re going to get those Tomatoes thrown at you but like it it is such a it’s like it makes every single person at every bachelorette party every construction site lose these these archetypes we conjure of the most binary committed people myself included like after all the reaction of like what’s next come on then then spot has to happen just for the fuck of it even if we can start as like
what you think is punching down Curiosities I are you doing me get this straight and it but those roads can at least lead to inspection because of that reason it’s like a skeleton key to all this other shit because also as I’ve said like and I don’t know if this is offensive to to to people but but I’ll learn that it is for for the reason I learned it is but I’ve always thought in the back of the head you know there’s never going to be a million trans movement literally just because it’s never going to be this is never going to be this thing that we’re used to which is like numbers numbers numbers and good because we’ve entered a world where that numbers are not what are making things change sometimes catastrophically it can take one Troll and twenty bucks to fuck up an entire thing that actually is a pillar of society or whatever it is that we we need to
graduate beyond the the that this populist idea of democracy where it’s like well if you’re a million people you’re less important than two million people and get into like okay we got to make sure we have to have an acid test and it can come down to one individual which is more you know I think I think it’s I think it’s not only more liberal it’s also I think it’s more practical in terms of becoming a planet of 8 billion people that are all connected telepathically and trying to get the fuck out of burning Cinder that they’ve eaten all the draft
we’re going to we’re going to have to have a fundamental respect for humans are you at we’re not going to be able to continue to have curveballs you know it like like we can’t use the shot clock is so near zero we cannot continue to go okay it’s okay that you’re black but now let’s get back to work watch you’re a woman that got to stop being so thrown by people saying I overhear Table 5 needs breast we can’t keep going like close the restaurant fuck you why are you eating here what’s food should we make it illegal we have to just get Kit to a place where like tabletop needs bread got it I think I get it though yeah I
yeah I think it’s pretty insane although also just knowing about the nature of humans are something like I think I mean it like that makes sense logically but wait if you think like if I really think about it it just it makes it so insane to me like the rules we’ve created and how many rules are created we think of like all the fifties were insane you know you had to have your fork on the right that’s crazy I’ll have my Fork on the left but it’s like we should we’re still have so many deeply ingrained Things That Go Way Beyond where you put your fork like what would a harmless in a rule to have in your Society but there’s a deeper ones that are harmful racism yeah but there’s also like a little yeah there’s there’s things that are
really big and really bad like that but there’s also like little things that it’s weird that it’s a rule but on such a large scale I don’t know it’s just going to shit and it included everybody wants to be a good person or anybody at lunch now if I put my Fork on the wrong side I’m called an antihero I’m called a an upstart I’m called it a kind of like a cool person and but it’s like that can be taught to you as a child and then that person precisely because and reference back to me getting offended with in the midst of the midst of myself deprecation somebody suggests that I’m a bad person I get mad at them and abused them that is the problem with kind of like institutionalized liberalism for instance where you go hey I’m a liberal I voted for this I understand that racism is bad here is how racism has Define
here’s whether I’m sexist choose whether I’ve ever sexually harassed anyone here is whether I’m an advocate of this community or that and don’t find then someone says hey man what you did there was a little disrespectful and you bite your fucking head off because what am I not see how dare you and all that stuff and I think that it’s that illustrates this wall I think that you’re talking about and instead of this process that we it has been fine because it’s moved at a speed faster than the average caveman which is like build the wall here okay wall needs to be torn down we’re going to move at twenty feet out everybody okay all right will Grumble Grumble now it’s harder to get to work Grumble Grumble but nothing claps is we’re hitting the Tipping Point now where the walls are digital and so is the road to work and so is the path to democracy so is it and it’s like holy shit if we can’t get it through your head that just in general take it take it as it comes and don’t allow yourself to be fucking throne
the other people upgrade that firmware to where we don’t have to have a fucking or I’m a member peed in myself with like we’re going to we’re going to die, where can I buy on your way now
the question wasn’t as bad as my teeth are as ours is any both answer it has your therapist ever asked you if you want to be depressed know she never has but I’ve as I’ve always wondered that ask her if she can ask you that workaholic or something and so I got yeah actually I hadn’t I hadn’t put it in that contact button that says it’s very much so she’s definitely like Lord that Challenger rather warnings like sounds like you’re getting really close to happiness and like you like a coping with it can bring out all kinds of shit years and years and years but I always have to start of like what if everything gets better than what the fuck will I do like it’s been at least you’ll be feeling better
look you made that thing over everyone’s happy though they just let Annie and Jeff to get together maybe it’s going to kiss Britta is that you have a fan do you have to give people on Tumblr they like your show your doing good you did it you did it you fucking monkey you did it you made other monkey’s happy and then getting mad at Sony and driving home in tears because my show is so important and how can they understand it as I look back on that Niger would like to self-sabotage it has to be there was never enough of a threat that I ever had to go to Defcon this or that however I still I’m like fucking people who say pick your battles and stuff
this last year has been there for like this thing where it’s like okay you did it you made you made a successful show by all the metrics that you used to abide by also in addition to that you’re going to get recognized and rewarded for it to the point where you might die happy or whatever that fucking goal is and all of a sudden it seems like you’re actually being targeted unfairly however if you talk about it it could cause enough of a shitstorm to the vet to get you fired it would it would be feeding the trolls it would be and it’s like oh wait where does the self-sabotage end does it end when you stop talking about the things that upset you because my mouth gets me fired a lot
and so one would reason if they were trying to destroy my life that it would be as easy as lobbing a dead cat into a part of the courtyard where I was bound to put on a show about it and spread disease and take my whole Kingdom down and said then you get into oh now I’m doing things because it’s what the enemy doesn’t want
when did I become a fucking liar for a living when did I wake up every day and go first of all what do you think okay now what do you say and have those two things be separate it’s miserable it’s it it’s not as miserable as anybody listening everyone has those problem but it’s like that that’s why it’s been it’s been a weird year cuz I’m like wait you can beat the people that want to destroy you by never paying any attention to it
and as it feels like going like this while people kick you which I’ve never done but then again I’ve never been a huge counter-puncher I’m not like a fucking Warrior I don’t go like nobody fux with me when I do is I every week I go well this happened today someone wrote this about me someone said that’s this is how that felt and then no matter what everyday I go home I might have every week at least I re-calibrate and I go bouncing around in my head anymore but yeah we’re as I keep referencing where a year now going into this this this like I’m like what am I a fucking Senator where I’m like it’s like it’s like the smart thing for me to do to like be polite or imported like is that what enemies want do we live
therapist. Yes you finally got there
and I did say there’s a new yard so I’ll be repeating it but she finally said so so you are a 45 year old man who has been able to say I don’t care forever and now you care and that’s difficult
and it sounds really it’s a really really unfortunate thing that the messengers of that were have to be trolls Nazis and she didn’t have to finish her cuz I got it was like oh yeah so in other words if if it weren’t these stupid stories and these stupid times like it would be time for me to graduate from deliberately disaffected disaffected I don’t care about nothing you can’t get near me it’s a wonder my I was married for 8 months can a to holy shit I love someone holyshit I’m proud of my job holyshit I could I don’t want to get fired holyshit I don’t want to hurt people holyshit there are people out there that that that you can hurt by doing nothing holy shit there are people out there that I’ve hurt when I thought I was the victim because they didn’t like me enough
holy shit I am part of the problem even by not being part of the problem and holy shit there are people who are lying in wait drooling for any sign of vulnerability so they can jump on me and any any nut sack sticking out they will grab and twist and try to rip off because they don’t even believe I’m real and it’s like welcome to the party which is not even it’s like little and being famous is like I think that’s everyone over the age of 30 but everybody has to go to a job that they were they have to like fucking you don’t have to worry about it you know this is really cool my happiness is everyone in adulthood starts to realize what they love and what they like and end in The crucial she is
don’t worry about whether or not to be vulnerable be honest keep being honest because if you if you if you’re honest and you say here’s a nutsack it’s on my knee and someone runs up and checks it okay like but the chant just rearrange and go and go like that like mine he’s Bulletproof
because that’s what nut sacks are there bulletproof lately and it’s like that they took so long as you can both like in Red Dead Redemption but I really do and I also talking to you this youngster here I’m saying like you know like it whatever is going on with you you know like it’s in it seems like you got good parents cuz you’re not you’re not you don’t doesn’t sound like you’re a product of abuse or or alienation in the homefront you have a dad that’s dropping you off and picking you up here at an end that could be a higher challenge because you don’t have anybody to blame but yourself and then you don’t know what that supposed to mean about stuff but
so you do what you got to do to maintain your sanity I think is connect and share and and and and understand that you will be assailed and hurt but the pain isn’t real it’s real but it’s not it’s not real distraction because because the only real deal goes out and someone kicks it and it hurts so you recoil which is what we all do in response to trauma then that’s the actual physical effect of the kick is that there’s no more technical there any more as a place where there’s no more connection but the pain of the kick didn’t actually damage the tentacle it’s a dumb metaphor because it was a big chicken tentacle your damage now just Nails I and Pops right back out
yeah you’re real well what’s up raising Andy there are new character handy raised
what yeah why don’t you come up and grab a mic and what’s that it’s someone
not laughing at you I was laughing at our world birthday again I’m certainly a fan of my bad guys cuz I just like that idea he’s like is like this and then another person and then all reason I didn’t mean to start anything I just had a follow-up question cuz I stop it Caroline Caroline
oh yeah oh yeah I can use a Coke I could use a Coke
can of Coke
turkey mayo lettuce tomato lightly toasted yolk what was your follow-up my follow-up question was how do you than you ain’t you answering my question of do you think that you want to be depressed but I follow up with like how then do you distinguish between your maladaptive Behavior versus behavior that is healthy but then is punished you know what you’re talkin about be honest and being upfront with people and big platforms like this which seems healthy I’d heard that you’ve learned to like recoil from that so how you distinctify between maladaptive behaviors versus like Siri as of the last couple weeks that that that made me so relieved because it makes me comfortable again is that that it is that the answer is whether or not it’s true because that was for so long my definition of my nipple I have a nylon fetish I I put a thing in my but you know people it’s like it’s like there’s no such thing as
Bruce that should hurt you there’s technically wonder if you were for instance a pedophile like there’s a sec we have this like go to Crime where we go because aside from just regular rape likely covid-19 Central presents like absolutely the word pedophiles the only thing worse than anything sexually in addition to being worse than a Nazi and or so we feel emotionally and so like other if you weren’t that then theoretically anything that you were anything that you did that that that you could say out loud in this country it should not be anything that you that would that would automatically cause destruction to your life. But it shouldn’t cause you actual loss of property
self and then I’ll ask my therapist like do you think it’s okay if I start playing this video game because I like it and stuff like I I just feel really guilty about doing things that I enjoy and once and once I was just like can I just like you know facing a doll head you’re like wow you can really do anything mostly I was like can I just do anything I want and she said she said yes well you can’t because I know that you’re not going to do anything that’s going to really be in your life or some of us who knew you were a heroin addict if it’s free and fun do it if you’re not hurting anybody or yourself is what mine says yes and so that have the luxury but my heart goes out to people who aren’t in this shoot aren’t in these shoes hence the episode where I did I went to bat for me
fart documentary and I was like God damn it that must suck because I can’t control my sexuality so what if what if you couldn’t and your sexuality was literally illegal and literally involve hurting people shouldn’t you certainly spare a thought for for for treatment and what not to break the cycle and but I have the luxury of like as bad as it gets is as what you see you would just like I’ve done it I just fascinated with myself and like I like toes on my nipple and I like girls and pantyhose and I like everything that I’ve talked about it for 300 episode of this podcast which means I have that privilege of if I just dump everything for my brain out of my mouth then along the way the worst I can do is use the wrong pronoun say the n-word we sort of like like kind of like verbal gaffes that could be but you’d have to be you have to do
fire to destroy me to then take those those mistakes and go therefore we should destroy this person you know late like you and that I think is the reality that we have to cope with which is if somebody wants to hurt you you there’s no way to beat them in the game of I’m her double and it’s not a victory to be on her double it’s not a victory to to have a shield around you that the interests that keep people from coming near your front lawn that is not a way to die laughing at everybody and saying I had the perfect life you will die with a vague feeling probably of of deep unease and sadness like it’s like it because when my therapist said that
you’d be the last person that I would think after everything that she’s heard that you recommended that I continue to do this podcast it’s like I would never have thought I would think that she would have been like yeah that seems like an unhealthy fixation you have on yourself and maybe now that you’re growing you should retire the microphone and go live in in it and it like a normal person it’s time but like she was like you you you need to be honest and the more honest you are the stronger you feel and are and the more you’re actually like
helpful you are and so that’s the answer your question I’ve been up here and being defensive about it like I’d like was up here for more episodes of the not saying like I hate therapy I don’t believe in therapy I’ve been up here saying don’t vote your vote doesn’t matter then I’ve been up here saying like we should run out in the street and kill Nazis I had to I’d like like I was really who cares quote on quote like whether the the behaviors and thoughts are healthy unhealthy or leading down the yellow brick road or a dirt path that makes Dorothy a cyborg however which arguably sounds like a cooler story than like a one where he turns out you could go home at any time and the bad guy can’t be killed with water but the what’s important is is for me maybe not for other people but what
for me it’s vital that I got to be saying what I’m thinking or I’ll just I’ll put a gun in my mouth like I I will I will I will. You do have it
traditionally please don’t go adamant about you do every time we mentioned suicide in the show and I owe you notice I always like have this like you know kids don’t talk to somebody that said it’s like before I started this kind of seemingly self-destructive practice of speaking into a microphone about everything that’s going on with me a behavior that has gotten me fired morning it’s got me hired a behavior that at times seems like you just wish it would stop because if you would just stop doing it then everything would be fine just shut up Dan but for me maybe not for other people like it’s like
did these thoughts like in your skull
they just they bounced off every interior surface at every time they do they they they accrue thoughts about them and they and they and they are they are they are just they just get so big so fast and then as soon as you come out of your mouth it doesn’t matter if people applaud it doesn’t matter if people boo it doesn’t matter if they ignore it the important thing that happens is it came out and now it’s gone I found that over and over again just like boom it just like like like like I said
I stuck a Sharpie pen at my ass but once because I wanted to see if it would make me come harder and for the rest of my life that Sharpie pen has no power over me it doesn’t matter if the audience wouldn’t you know yay let’s go spy stock and Sharpie it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t matter what matters is that I didn’t die and I like me and so I had sex my third grade teacher to get an A and I too was homeschooled so I know it was really is that a genuine story from your life yeah her mom kind of what what you’re talking about you’re allowed to ride through the fields of
incest say something
what you talking about exactly what like I’ve been working on in therapy which is why I was so curious is because like something that my therapist told me recently that was like actually one of those big Revelation moments was that like you’re not always trying to fix yourself sometimes you just trying to like learn to be okay you know and that like I’m in therapy at least I’m always trying to be like so I feel this way about best I think like sort of like you were talking about earlier Nova I feel this way about this and I think it’s because of this and I think if I thought about it this way everything will be fine but sometimes it’s like no no no it’s okay to just think something that’s maybe not great you know this guy is like but there’s a sort of lose his happiness think it’s a nuanced just take this idea of will get we get if if you’re if you’re worried about going
Thanksgiving because you hate you you’re uncomfortable talking to your uncle I’m I know I’m going to this is going to be an awful metaphor that doesn’t land the point I put up here I go like you’re on your way to this you’re invited to a party that makes you nervous for some reason it’s that you’re out you’re uncomfortable we think that the day that you realize you don’t want to go to the party because your uncle’s racist or that you know it’s even though that thought doesn’t make you happy we believe we don’t we don’t think that you’re following your comfort because it was comfortable about the thought that your uncle’s racist right or it were they or is it you’re a fuck up that’ll just get lost on the way to the party or a negative shit to ourselves that actually causes a dopamine Spike because it causes us to it gives us a little fire escape out
zone of discomfort so that we understand something for the sake of not thinking about and yet like yeah it’s like they actually uncertainty is a huge invitation to a really beneficial burning man we’re like weird ideas and happen while you have no idea what the fuck you but it feels like pain do I said actually feels criminal to us and then you go you know what fuck that guy I’m not going to his party and even though it creates this this this negative thing in your life that you’re you’re you’re happy you like made yourself happy I thought I saw a hand or something out there but it’s probably having a great time this is a dream come true
everybody gets $5 and that’s it. He’s at the $18 or more assertive Nest or angle side angle you know any of those are we going to handle a dream I was just going to say what you’re saying about honesty and everything I think like I said when I was a kid I I could never not be myself and I think now I felt pressure to maybe kind of change your tip police certain thoughts and I think maybe that’s kind of making me really sick and side like lately and I’ve always been just really fully authentic person regardless of what happens what what what what happens will happen you know and otherwise I’ll just make yourself sick so I want to stress like I can’t protect you from anybody I can’t protect myself for myself or anybody else but I will I can guarantee you this and maybe what’s important is that we all guarantee this to each other any chance we get is it
you can’t say anything to me that’s going to make me suddenly start to realize you’re a bad person except lies but like like if I find out that you said one thing and then and then I find out you’re capable of dishonesty because that makes you dangerous because it but I can forgive you if you then later tell me I lied to you about this and that but if you if you tell me the truth I am never going to punish you for it I’m never going to like unless it’s an accident unless you go like I can’t tell you something I put peanut butter in my pussy the other day the other day
I said to me when I step on your foot lower dancing but I am never know and I’m never going to go will you shouldn’t be danced with your not belong on this dance floor you just you know so like like if nowhere else other than your therapist office do you know please consider this an actual definition not a political definition of a safe place but you’re you’re safe from us up here for sure I cross the threshold blurt semi-fictional shit that you haven’t even explored yet if you want to you run the risk of people in the red it going but we will we will we will we will hold you on our shoulders because because you’re corrupting a new generation celebrating iced tea
and I guess that invitation goes for you to answer but I don’t I don’t know if I trust you yet what can I do to earn your trust convenient thank you I appreciate that line happy birthday unless it turns out to not really be your birthday I trust you it’s not but I want to get on Snapchat
it’s my birthday can you show me to do in the show I didn’t cuz I didn’t get all the things that feel like a revival tent because that evokes thoughts of religion and and dishonesty but it’s it is a town meeting this podcast and we should have a bullet in the show where we go what would like we used to hate anybody got something so pressing that they really want to talk about it because what’s going to come up and talk and we’ll get to know people because we used to do that and then we I don’t know I don’t know why we stopped well we’re not is it it’s not it is like is it a reforming A Wack Pack like Howard Stern are we like is it is it just becoming like a spectacle of some kind but that was never the eye
Kansas fault I think that was I think you just found a lot of the wrong people sometimes when you were on tour I just recently we listen to a bunch of stuff so I’m kind of like remembering a lot of those moments now I mean like yeah I think you just got a couple of Bad Eggs along the way and it kind of Monday Night downtown we could probably trust that we cut more fish than boots it was like by casting that that net but like they got to the point where the front couple rolls of people like boxing each other to try to be up there to kind of be like in the show I think they were expecting to be the next Spencer or Adam Goldberg or whoever and they get it was getting a little frisky for my for my money that’s the dream I had dreams of being Spencer you know better
Spencer Spencer for those people having that dream tell them one thing you did this week for me what podcast tell the people dreaming of being the next Spencer won the thing that you did this week for me that will disabuse them of their fantasies
this week now art recently just like my job specific like tedious shed I just really like most of that stuff it’s fun I feel activated and good hard the hard installation of a Tesla software onto my car that I wasn’t coming and I just I will follow your Instagram so I know you been going through this whole Fitness thing and it’s like wow he might be that you’re reaching Asia and healthier than most even at my unhealthiest and not arrogant at all
you know I’m not going to show it cuz I don’t want it that’s that’s it doesn’t show up I got like a text saying that I’m comfortable telling friends I think I have a six-pack if it doesn’t show up on film it doesn’t show up on Bill and it doesn’t show up except under the right lighting and when they are no longer true and it actually shows up then I will show it and it’ll be soon because the progress I’ve been making is encouraging
Taeyang thanks guys and Carolina game that you Nova.
I’m so sorry that Chris Nolan everybody here helping this.
Don’t do hermit crabs hermit quest.com under comptroller Jeff Davis one more time for your marriage to Dan Harmon
thank you I’ll drive fast take chances with that doesn’t work try him up with a rope and put them in a bush
that you got music all right thank you I appreciate it
it is hot