Episode
Episode: 125 – Lets Teach Duncan Trussell How To Be Mean feat. Joel McHale
Description
After 4 days of straight podcasting, the gang returns to LA with comptroller Duncan Trussell and a special drop in from Community’s Joel McHale.
Transcript
ladies and gentlemen harmontown is now in session
and now please welcome the mayor of harmontown Dan Harmon
everything work out okay but that wasn’t at work okay all right we have a little.
cuz it seemed a little dry all right
how how how how how how are you I’m great man thanks for asking how you been how’s the door I got nothing in the past but I did San Francisco I did Austin I did Houston last 3 days and then I just went to communicate communicate
communic on Duncan home of the communal corn in Vancouver my cab driver asked me if I Believe In Unicorns and then started presenting a very convincing argument for the existence of unicorns in Africa yeah it was a long conversation
what I didn’t even know there was like a it was possible beautiful his Believe In Unicorns unicorn and I said I think he’s a unicorn driving a cab
Jasmine
custom cover up my friend all roads lead the reptilians When You Believe In Unicorns cuz it it just ventured Into The Reptilian after he was explaining like what I told him I’ve definitely Believe In Unicorns but I don’t and interesting ideas he will just let them talk about it cuz that’s why isn’t it is coming back again but he was the master of letting bringing out a person’s story so yeah that what he said is that he went up into the woods for a long time and he was got the ability to pet squirrels like squirrels wouldn’t run from him anymore because he had become so pure
so that happened to him and then he saw a unicorn but he wasn’t in Africa so he’s I was like you know you start with squirrels it’s like a starter unicorn for the aspiring drug dealer that is a unicorn handler card your little pay card I feel like that is a conversation that I would never have with a cab driver and when I’m with when I’m with Dino sandwich I feel like I witness it happen within 10 minutes it’ll turn out if the bartender is into S&M it will come out
play 10 NG no never says anything he never he that he doesn’t walk around but the bartender I’ll just volunteer because I’m near you know I shall go so did you want to run and Coke okay here you go they cracked can I tell you something crazy I
and I think was you until I think this is a thing with people like I think we admit like a an aura of pheromone or something we kind of that must be right yeah I think so yeah that’s cool I will I mean I’d much rather somebody talk about S&M and unicorns but
I like them both but yeah I know what you mean I just had something that is a chaos magic practice where you look at the entire universe is a is an oracle and when you go out into the universe with the intention of learning something it will start talking to you and and whatever you’re putting out of the reflect back and give you a chance to learn more about the universe so in this case it was unicorns man but you know that idea behind unicorns is that that he was knew all these crazy unicorn details like they that they carry a baby for 2 years and their stomach
is it is it because the the horn like as soon as possible I was depending on how that works. I think God knows the deer who have like when they’re receiving all kinds of magic
no they’re just they’re just Jared this guy doesn’t give a shit about deer another have way more horns than unicorn
who’s going to have a unicorns are there they’re not that remarkable they’re just a horse with one shity horn looking then that’s right yeah they said they are there but I guess they’re there albino there’s something about them there with their sort of white and Glory
their blood cells are quoting like the monster manual with a minimum requirement of a unicorn second get like a gazelle
and like a shity one too cuz it’s like not curved yet
all right well excuse me for not
speaking of disabled people always a kind of fractures a little bit cuz there is invariably if I do like a wga panel or something like that this doesn’t happen enough but it happens frequently enough that I marked the memories like someone in a wheelchair will come up and they will want to talk about the Greeley conspicuous lack of of of differently-abled people television I have a I have an inherent because I’m a big drunk slob like my job is to like be a curmudgeon and I don’t I really I’m not a big fan of the idea of TV characters as ambassadors
reactionary kind of stick to treat them like a living ghost because we don’t beg for the best reason which is a we don’t want people to feel pain and there’s always somebody who came up to me is just aspiring writer who was that kind of made it here to the show but she was at she was at communicon I think her name was Laura a long talk with her about about this and I had this talk before which is I guess the reason I’m bringing this up is because this is a podcast if you’re in a wheelchair and you’re out there unless you’re just in one because you think it’s comfortable
I’m not talking to you if that’s the case that that’s weird if if you if you’re if you’re if you’re differently-abled and you are watching television and you’re watching all these jack-offs walk around not not in wheelchairs and you’re waiting for that character to come on screen in a wheelchair and then they do and it’s like the kid from Glee
empty inside like a Snickers bar but it did not satisfy like that is a what is a person that that has never come from that point of you going to do what is the best job a writer could ever do they’re going to do the best job they could ever do for the most humanitarian instincts in the world definition of a shady character they’re going to write a character sitting in a chair with wheels on it that happens to be totally infallible and innocent and ultimately like leaves you continuously what it was I got a bad taste in your mouth nice nice nice to have screen time but ultimately like kind of part of the problem she actually exist they have a phrase for it among among do they call it inspiration pouring in a wheelchair
friends with a kid in a wheelchair and there was a big moment in The Different Strokes episode where Arnold said
I started running halfway potatoes they turn around and he said oh God I forgot the kid in his wheelchair at the bottom of the stairs and Arnold that’s the best thing anyone ever said to me
I know where we where we Pete to me we haven’t really progressed beyond that from the Reagan Era in terms of televisions treatment of being being differently-abled kind of sad life to that wheelchair kid have if that’s the best thing anyone ever said I totally forgot what my actual I don’t want to throw that under the bus because at least somebody was doing something even at that point but but the attacks of my fellow fat white straight male writers that are out there like like we should just keep it if you’re if you’re if you’re if you have the slightest thing wrong with you
pursue a career in writing and it’s so if you do find yourself like wandering television stinks for you personally like if you could muster a call if you can whether that storm like get that get that script out their mother because we don’t have to sit in occupy our minds with questions about whether or not it’s a sent it to blah blah blah and progress starts to happen in terms of Television like what we really want is just as just transparency and honesty and stuff so I just I was so taken with that most of all the community of people they always made my heart goes up and down and all over the walls are people that you’ll never have such an intense minute with one person as you do and somebody was like watching your broadcast network television show they have one minute to explain to you my brother committed suicide this got me
there is these things that aren’t meant to be fit into the can of one minute they have to be otherwise they I’m just sitting there.
Glad I could help
looks like I nailed it is trying to explain to someone that you created something that that like really meant something to me and their bodies Trevor a tremble and their and their eyes water and there and there and there is fine shake and they because they lack and it’s not I haven’t learned that it has nothing to do with me it’s the show it show that 200 people make over 5 years and it’s like it needs something to me and they have that one moment vibrate like like like like that your transmission is is like it is overwhelmed the ones that have the channel guide ice Frank Lee enjoy it because if they have a line of people came up and said your job
doing nothing where is everything like it’s a waiting for me to trick myself into thinking with being a rich writer writing you know the opiate for the masses is like actually know what it is because someone’s going like no man my my mom left my dad and I was all fucked up and you show help me and like I see I told you I was a good person
I did that with Lou Barlow I freaked out and did like the transmission breaking Barlow in La when I met him and it was the most humiliating mortifying moment of my life cuz I went to I’m trying to express the idea that all fuck your music got me through so much and help me feel like I wasn’t insane and it came out like I used to do great man I just said and he looked at me like okay cuz I failed that bad and even talkin that I embarrass both of us and was an awkward moment and if everyone was like fuk I but I guess it like reins on him like that like hipsters come up stammering to him nonstop I don’t think I’m assuming Lou Barlow is exactly like me
I would wager that the response that you’re under what you’re projecting I know I fucked up and they’re they’re like you’re a jerk but you’re proceeding with simple easy route message that what’s what’s happening right now is difficult for you I all I can do is stand continue to stand by and liked because this is really difficult for me I don’t know what to do like like Wisconsin fiber will not allow me to say it’s okay just let it out like I won’t make me a douche silence is what you need to do is just go like all right okay but then as we all have that if I got in an elevator with Bob Odenkirk or film or something I have I’ve been in this situation I have made an ass of myself and and and because I wanted to stay so many things that had one minute to say them
calm down
I’m trying to talk about something
maybe we’ll put a pin in when I was discussing
big because I am a friend of mine I thought it might be a good idea to drop by and I said if you can poke your head though they have something to give me the high-side and he he just stepped into the spotlight off
if you’re freaking let’s all get into an elevator right now with Joel McHale
yeah yeah
say it she’ll just work the room it’s an audio podcast I’m doing play-by-play Danny Pudi
man in the back
give me a hipster here
all right I want to surprise I know that you’re I know that you’re you’re you’re you’re the sponsor of like a rival vodka company rip the labels off of these my friend way better than Ketel One
it’s from Sweden good thing it’s not from Germany cuz it’s called purity
I seen you twice in two weeks
have an amazing if Jeff changed into this somehow
have you ever met Duncan Trussell you have I ever met Duncan Trussell I saw you in a party but we never know I don’t remember how to get off early how was the communicon today everyone
yeah I got to go is good I talk to a person in the wheelchair I did great
no no it’s good how much longer do I have
until they finish their modern family’s back only three weeks of the pressures on a person in a wheelchair for a community that’s what I was talking about that in a way that doesn’t make everyone feel like a God damn ass whole day I hate the fact that I don’t know we had a brainstorm to the room when we were talking about the Down Syndrome thing like there are sitcoms we’ve seen characters of down syndrome come on screen and it’s it’s also like oh these are some of the most joyful entertaining people in the world but there’s this social stigma where you feel like if you’re laughing because of a person with Down Syndrome that you’re laughing at them ready or automatically so what are the most ironic because I don’t think it’s politically correct
people that are are generally like a big credible joyful people that cause a lot of Mirth and the people that work with them are the are the ones that did that say so so I’m not too worried about saying that the the
when you see them on TV it’s a game and it’s like okay clear the runway what’s Albright presidents in town at school at Rock have a Down syndrome character and not be like you know pandering and stuff like that we talked to the writers room a community like this huge ass whole what we were going to do is we’re going to create a character named Michael who was like just the guy that like he comes in and he just every time the dean wants to tell everybody something shity he sends Michael
so Michael comes in and teacher salaries are getting low already tell me you’ll do that things here that actually wind up there that would be great it’s like everyone’s in on the joke nobody’s you being made fun of it’s like the the joke becomes how Society perceives and what was all societies kind of strange can text you something how do you do that with people who are physically differently-abled strange that were you talking about
no but it is super cool and they use people who have actual disabilities and it’s in it’s amazing that it’s not it doesn’t seem exploit of it all
you’re right too soon
now is the time to make these jokes people
Chevy would appreciate
I think positive with a second term of affection Chevy so what have you been up to between during a during a community’s death how did you spend your Easter
well I saw my Grandma she’s 95 she’s great a racist if she was helping my grandma my grandma I don’t know you I think I’m sure you’ve told this story a million times but we didn’t know it was going to be picked up until that the last hour it was like 4:30 in the afternoon on the last half-hour of the contracts where they went Yahoo has bought the show with pelts not with cash they used to use beaver pelt
yeah it was weird that we’re doing it so I bought a house so I’ve been doing a lot of stand-up to pay for that I’m seeing my children nine and six year old weird that’s cousin that’s doesn’t deserve clapping you can actually still have a 9-year olds
all over the world have a baby I just shook it for our the result of shaken nine-year-old child
where is Savers but we went to dinner. The family the 8 puffer fish in in did you hear about this it’s terrible this if this family had puffer fish and there you have to beat you have to train at the chef for two years disturb this. But this is a very sad story like their uncle caught it and and they’re disgusting looking fish but the family some was like it looked delicious it seemed like it’d be amazing but they ate and within five minutes all of them are paralyzed and having seizures are on the hospital now so octopus I don’t know maybe pick up deadly puffer fish
can you look up how pufferfish Blowfish what’s going on what is the thing that I looked into it it’s kind of like it’s all part of the same thing I think it’s the same yeah I just remember that Simpsons all of whom puff up as a defense mechanism in all of them are deadly poisonous we incredibly delicious the Gable keep fighting if you cut the fish correctly it just tingles the edge of your lips and your mouth and if it’s cut right you swallow it then you’re fine it doesn’t matter no page backyard there’s a partially fertilize bird egg the rich people. Right
redbones cut your mouth and your own blood is the is the is part of the hilt delicacy that is so stupid like the cat poop coffee where you the cat or the some sort of animal eats the coffee beans it poops it out and then that is your coffee which is an idiot right for a
you ate something that’s something shit well and you’re like how you be surprised you’d be surprised at how much of an idiot I have this rare copy even if it’s been shipped out if I think it’s weasels to eat it actually but if someone offers you coffee beans that have been shit out of rare weasels John Beckham in weasel coffee is bad right that’s it I feel like if anyone said this is very rare and I’m like waiting for the next and they like it out of a weasel all right go like I’m good I don’t need you got to live a little man
I die if I eat almost anything but but not that that’s great but you have your hipster beard your friends and all that end with that but no no infighting in Hermantown we’re all we’re all we’re all bro
you just became the greatest politician of all time because we were invited to say or I’ll distract him while you weren’t looking
have you been watching I have been watching Nick since I since the show was picked up you watch the Nick the Nick the Nick on Cinemax every morning he cuts himself shaving
and end up blood like shows him a crime that’s going to happen
no no it’s not what it is it’s about a guy that cuts himself every morning and his drop a little blood becomes a newspaper from tomorrow
get it straight
what is the Knick Steven Soderbergh directed 10 episodes of this I guess miniseries about Clive Owen Stars about surgery in 1895 very similar to communities new season on Yahoo screen
call most it must have season 6 takes place at a nineteenth-century surgery theaters playing people are old men are watching it and it’s it specializes in Circus freaks who who don’t want to be altered but who have to be up by the government and I would watch this and it’s just it’s real time because now it’s streaming there’s no time slots so you can just watch a person who was born with like a unicorn horn have it removed while they scream please don’t this is this is the only the only thing that makes me special and it’s just it’s just hot shot off by a leather apron Freemason I would watch that show I want to watch it’s 59 minutes on average and episode it’s available for a dollar 99 at Yahoo screen Yahoo screen
one.org Tri-State leader in screen doors and windows
Adidas discount ever trick you and send you flavored vodka straight to vomit sir 3000 things I don’t understand about Dan Aykroyd
I wish he he he decided to create his own vodka bottles it in a really expensive skull bottle is not that great vodka no no. Vodka
I just it just seems like it’s all like a bad business so I couldn’t even growing up when you watched a somatic or I don’t know what Ghostbusters you’re like that is a guy that needs to sell me a spirit in the shape of a skull you thought of Dan Aykroyd Crystal Skull is some kind of ancient artifact that Alien Blaster rounds heavily into that stuff very much believe there’s a there’s a documentary where I like I’d had neighbor of his leg had a camcorder at
you can watch that like like like that isn’t boring at all Burgers have been struck a superpower
the Avenger it’s not it’s not in the diagnostic manual anywhere it’s just like okay nevermind it’s just different grades of autism used to call Asperger’s you can all go back to calling dork apparently also Spielberg I looked it up also diagnosed Asperger’s I noticed that a Blues Brothers like this to the original script for Ghostbusters just like five hundred thousand pages long and is like it’s it’s like when you can look it up online about it like like like like Wright’s vision of Ghostbusters – Ivan Reitman kind of coming in or I don’t know who’s to credit it’s all good movies are sort of a collaborative likes Luke I think there’s no there’s no
a notch or behind any of it it’s all sort of like that’s because that’s good movies are so rare but but like ackroyd’s original Vision his thing was Blues Brothers like if you watch The Blues Brothers behind-the-scenes stuff there’s chat late like he had this whole scene to that he had in mind for The Blues Brothers with that would explain why the blues mobile was able to go faster than cop cars and an involved like the car being parked between electric pylons overnight I didn’t show like electricity zapping the car that gets very much. Really I kind of got like man I liked Dan Aykroyd way more than I thought I did and also but I like he’s a way worse than I thought he was like he’s he’s he’s he’s out there he loves the aliens of the ghosts in the Sci-Fi and Michael Jack
do you like Watership Down just this keep going on and on and on guest to have on the show Dan Aykroyd become and just just just just pop the cork let him loose let him talk about the aliens of the crystal skulls and stuff with feel about it if he brought up his vodka I think maybe if I hit a baby with my car that will your car or your what did you say your
about their marketing agreement with them
I know I agree with that I think yeah yeah alright what else is going on today Seahawks wow
football is a sport
I literally cannot help but talk down to them since I am at a higher elevation than them don’t brag about your height
how does a heart we don’t use them last night I wasn’t actually called them Austin hell no I was in Canada which is a state just north of here and I went to Montreal and I thought I would it was a TV special and I opened it up by saying hello Toronto I never liked you in French and I know you’re in the same country assholes you hate your own country you hate everything about texting over that God love Texas Texas my you know it could be a country if it wanted to be but they but we’re going to hate this other city that
if you can call it matter said it’s like what you’re saying is totally true I had just I’d driven 3 hours from Austin to Houston and was like so proud of myself was like listen is great good to be at the Alamo Drafthouse Alamo Drafthouse is every word fucking taxes so it’s like you can’t all I see is awesome nerds and hipsters like that love Cinema and Quentin Tarantino posters like I kind of did think I was in forgot it was just there really aren’t right I like blue me they’re not like so you can see him be like in there like look where we’re from Houston it’s worse things could have
going to be mistaken for Austin
did you see the article about the Illuminati room in this Houston Hotel did you
no other job other than don’t receive my horrible insult you look at them I think you might be in the Illuminati friend at your hair hippie I was about to say
do you want to be a part of us some day if I wasn’t exactly how I kept it only comes out in the sunshine Somebody went to this hotel in Houston and they gave him his room that had an obvious two-way mirror built into the wall like it was a mirror in the wall and all these really creepy like pictures that wouldn’t be in a hotel room like all these spooky pictures the floor with concrete had what appeared to be blood stains on it the guy started taking pictures and immediately posting them on Reddit thank God and then a hotel called said we gave you the wrong room and move them be looking for a real it’s amazing that we have is it seem real but there’s like I’m say Austin’s room
there was like a picture of white guy on the wall is a framed picture of a guy who’d been convicted like a lot of like white collar crime some kind of oil a lot of trouble and just it was it should have been a hotel room so to get off on the real number of the room it was somehow connected to the Skull and Bones and you know so I strangle a hooker or like stab someone to death pay a lot for the room instead of
can I be the first cybernetic hate crime happened in Paris where I like a guy was like a cyborg and they try to but it was just a guy with his Google Glass to his ear and it was like three years earlier had that drilled into his face is actually trying to write this article for vice and I wanted to interview that guy about what happened but it was actually drilled into the bone of his face he didn’t have it on his ear it was in his head so maybe it was on the year was the name of the article hey I met an idiot
you don’t know what that means I was still reeling from when you called me an idiot earlier I’m ready to be without you… I hope you guys have a kind of like as a boy
velociraptor
Joe is a great very hardworking very Charming very sexually appealing man with a giant chest and arms the size of my head but he only like making fun of your clothes or you’re like hey what’s up with your teeth so you fuck you by Friday so I can cuz I can’t help it I can’t help it
imagine how they feel every morning
can I get my home just wake up for the role of testing him again after a Joel comes into the room and immediately like there’s like 30 people in the room but they’re all Executives from Sony and it BC to kill the average I love that and I only have a good good to see Frank Stallone’s here it was ahead of Sony was great it was funny and that’s that’s that’s still style but I’m crying inside
fucking cool I know you’re a sweetie I Can Feel The Love Inside of You radiating out not love it’s the only way I know how to behave I want to be like that I’m terrified I can I can never I could never pull that off I always wish I was more mean I would like to be what we can start right now I can teach you this is Lucy’s worthwhile
I’m not doing that that’s what you have to start with
start with an innocent the Illuminati genius
I said I would don’t sit so close to me
Carnage that I sent back
take one
all right go ahead ask him a question are you enjoying the show so far whatever his answer is it’s wrong
good
that doesn’t make me feel good well how could you feel good you’re wearing all black what are you a fucking asshole recent nice don’t apologize apologize use the force you fucking prick asked him his name what’s your name I think of another person named Ethan
Ethan Allen City furniture furniture what do you sell Furniture you just beating him
all right that’s all I got to come up with a question Forum how long you been the biggest assholes in the show
I didn’t I’m so sorry I thought I would never say anything like that that is horrible horrible over her the master that the student has become the master all right thank you thank you so much thank you thank you thank you he did look a little bit like Vincent van Gogh
see there’s glimmers of Genius in it they look like Vincent van Gogh I can’t wait to see how this newfound power and exchange will affect our meeting with Spencer
hey hey what’s up everybody alright alright clapping
do the CU hey guys man last night I was starving and I I was reduced to like 3 in the morning and I was trapped in a hotel and was there a terrorist billionaires picture for oil guy in there is certainly a buyer’s club involved but no I was really a rock-bottom I was starving I couldn’t I was too hungry to get to sleep so I was I was reduced to eating the Apple I used as a pipe in the hotel
the original Thanksgiving isn’t it
it was delicious. No it wasn’t as a green apple those are the worst home an apple enthusiast
you just got booed for saying green apples okay what’s the worst does red delicious are those Washington red or worse than green apples but other than that I’m from Washington I don’t think Washington ruin their apples I think other people intervened I retract my puppy is that was its use of a as a pipe that made it at know that made it great that’s what I was curious about other than that the black and charred holes in the side
but no it was you as a green apples are gross and they have thick skin I hate apples I think
oranges are better if I were to have to compare the two
yeah but an orange pie I don’t want your type doesn’t seem like it would surprise San Francisco II did not have access to an Apple so I hit up a 7-Eleven and got other fruits mainly a banana and a lime and a lime worked a lot but why do my hands get too sweaty and it literally disintegrates the the paper as I roll it and then I just have a Pants full of weed
God damn it. I forgot what I was going to ask where we go that’s how you doing
Duncan Tribble everyone
roast is done
cuz I Love Lamp
I want to plug something real quick I think the next episode that airs of Brooklyn Nine-Nine unless they added me out I’m in
they probably did that at me out because I can’t act so you know any of that no I really it just makes me feel like every thank you I appreciate it
actor
I would know if you sucked the only legit I guess I can do it
I mean you just got one a bunch of when a bunch of a rebel like these is into you it’s just like oh it’s just a bunch of people that are wrong about stuff
yeah but I really want to know about that Illuminati hotel room like Google
are the photos posted as well rock you what’s your what’s your name
microphone and I’m going to be the one that smells like cereal this glorious bastards t-shirt
so if we alienate him we’ve lost one fifth of our audience for the 6th season
I thought it would be these are actual photos from the hotel room I think they can get the idea you burn while you’re looking at the photos describe the judging from your haircuts there’s no way
do you look like a gerbil sorry I can’t do it I love my God I don’t know what that is I never it doesn’t matter now
you’re a sweetheart. You do the means I work in the library that’s good readings good
he helps people get books that’s good
but how old are you 29 are out there man which I checked into a hotel room that turned out to accidentally be in Illuminati wrong he’s a fucking idiot because he’s on Reddit
oh hell no restaurants fired
Gattaca a lot of powerful people have been in and I heard that you know there was a movie about it I didn’t see that but I heard you have to weigh in a glass coffin and people jerk-off on top of the coffin that’s the least severe hazing I’ve ever heard could you put naked people in freezing water in shit you just get not just on
I mean even getting juice on doesn’t seem as bad as most of the stuff I hear about in a glass coffin looking up at a young George W bush spring jazz on the top of my coffee well that’s where you and I differ
I feel like but what if I told you that that in our society Ultra rich people get the privilege of getting to sit in a protected chamber while everyone around them is forced to humiliate themselves by jerking off around them and they get to look at their dicks and see them while they’re coming without ever being touched by their come
it is truly living the dream
when I have a question why the fuck is Ben still up here I was wondering stay right here don’t know I have from the moment I looked at this
thank you buddy haha
alright what are we learned tonight I want I want handicapped people to write more scripts a jewels mean the Illuminati is real and Duncan is now memes
Ben works at a library we were we’ve figured that out as a phone that guy looks like Vincent van Gogh Spencer he’s a fine man he’s a great artist
yeah I wish I was Vincent van Gogh yeah
I don’t know your art I mean it might be great I’m not going to deny it could be sorry audience words of our Justin cuz we going to
okay we’re going to wear tonight we’re going to intercept every two days like you guys got to hear the LeVar Burton episode in Austin
that guy
I don’t know how much is projection and I mean cuz he’s has perhaps the most positive person in the history of the world he makes you shake a little bit if you want to and he killed Troy in the Lost episodes of Community right
the season 6 entirely flashback episode
North Avenue
then what are you going to do in between now and the time we start shooting I don’t know what the fuck is what the hell let’s meet somebody that came in from far away I am going to say
play hold on hold on I have somebody in mind hold on Newfoundland I appreciate you guys I do I want I want I wanted to see and I don’t know if she’s too shy she doesn’t have to come up here but that’s why I want to afford her the option to say nothing if you don’t want to come up okay Danielle do you want to come out
hi Daniel Danielle came all the way from Liverpool England wow
poor communication as you wasn’t even that come here tonight she came for communicon from Liverpool that’s a community fan
Danielle with people in your peer group walking around how many percentage wise how many would know Community okay then Duncan my question for you is what what is the term Liverpool come from
I don’t know it’s the it’s the pool of life that’s what I saw City’s name means that’s nice it’s not a pool of livers fried liver the liver has done great things for all of us on stage it is the Key of Life to all of us going to Liverpool if I’m going to keep going
real real
is that is a defensive Danielle okay are there Beatles statues in Liverpool
are there like like like like like like a bus bus benches where you not enough people can sit on them because there’s a fucking Paul McCartney like bronze Pollock I detect an American city will be in like Spokane Washington how can I get my coffee today the statue of Garfield what my life was like this happen who’s the second most famous band in the Liverpool
where are the Arctic Monkeys from Bella’s mother.
William Elvis goes good in a little brother plays called the other pool heaters Ryan Costello with Costello
could you put the
I got a question for everybody sitting up here so like if you were walking into a public restroom right and on the bathroom counter is a tray of cupcakes
would you eat the cupcakes
start with Danielle
unique cupcakes off a bathroom counter I thought so
I would too for the record you know Duncan
are they gluten free
yeah they are then I’ll eat them hasn’t eaten a cupcake since 1982
just hasn’t been in a public bathroom tonight the last time you peed is Rupert Murdoch did you do and what you take it you work as hard as me you’re very much more handsome than me but you’re an actor I’m a writer but you you have the fact that I got my job back is because you’re a more politically fast out man than I am you or friends with the people that I hate like I do on their Yachts you go golfing with them like on their yachts
Diplomat your Jeff Winger down on your stomach when you’re talking to captain of it because the bile taste like champagne my friend
excuse me Rose a champagne to have you back would have been much like a samurai or like a Japanese General in World War II victory or suicide if they didn’t win the battle they would kill themselves not my mind but a lot of your mind
are you laying in the glass coffin
without the lid open casket
and I was the one who removed the lid
if you were the recording mixer with a horrible infection and he decided he’s going on to Windows
sing about anything I just proved it ever heard of them
no called folks way baby so I don’t know what they are
sorry Danielle are you offended by any of this or Elvis Costello impression okay you came here from Liverpool you weather the storm you you weren’t even going to come here tonight I like I want to make it worth your while like is there a problem we can help you with like do you have anything go on a husband Duncan will propose to you tonight will you marry me
job
are you kidding you made the right choice
someone tonight maybe that’s the part of
is it that there’s no there’s no pain in your life that we can help alleviate your having a good life and what you can afford to take this trip that you didn’t like break the bank doing it right
it wasn’t
how much does a plane ticket cost
call Macario everybody
he never came back
he really he really left he didn’t know
getting oh my God he’s doing it
when I’m at
can I see you carry with you
Harley Quinn
all right well we can’t yeah let’s go let’s go let’s fill out we’re going to stretch Duncan we going to fill this out this morning only brought British money America
that’s cool Joel McHale just it just pressed a watt of good old green asked Kentucky back sunkel Sam gorilla dragged into the Imperial palm of this Royal layabout because that’s what the British need more money
describe the Marines and Veronica
what are you said Maurice and garlic Trump’s next counting at Tri-County
Glasgow thumb through that but now definitely a fantasy come true my God tell us we’re good people you don’t have to start if you play Dungeons & Dragons do is write to you and I
yeah
I’m sure Joel will be will be a wonderful DND player
I cannot wait is that do we need more important but not as much done right so I still have my original top secret box with all my characters in it that’s really cool like I’m really turned on right now. Good thing you’re sitting down Spencer Shadowrun books lately yeah this guy this guy from Austin Piledriver that’s his nickname I can’t remember his real name
he gave me a Shadowrun book and it’s pretty great you know a guy named Piledriver prank know he’s a nerd
like yeah he gave me his book you said he had an extra copy and that he’s a lover of nerd culture and you know he wanted to spread the wealth I’m a lover a nerd go to get almond style driver I want to treat you real nice
nerds deserve better
you come in the back of my rig I’ll treat you real nice thank you I love nerds have come in my truck all over there don’t seem like a nerd you seem like a llama and just want that second I got a nerd for Waylon Jennings I’m a nerd for highways that there’s my rig by Rick by Rick kicker I have to get back to the coffee shop that I work at so hey I’m a nerd for coffee give me a day give me some coffee I’m going to learn
I got coffee the game out of weasels asshole
are my friends are foodie he’s a foodie in a nerd
where do I get my girlfriend from Liverpool and I just want to file to
I love Mighty python I love you
show you a Fawlty Towers are you won’t forget
come on out back to my 18-wheeler Tom and Angela foundered weaseled coffee but I love Shadowrun and 10 for Iowa play Bon Iver as a sister rattle you come on back I got a 6-level road with a vorpal sword with a bag of holding inside of his keester feel like you’ve just memorize a lot of words that come from the 10 to the 5
all right I should win when I was playing D&D with my high school friends this guy you know like that movie The Fly this guy got trapped in a teleporter with a bag of holding any of the fly I don’t know I never saw it the one where they get fused you know fused together
flying the person I’m trying to read this story it’s important to clarify Goldblum version yeah yeah yeah he he fused with a bag of holding and then so he gained the ability to like store up tell you know 50 cubic feet in his asshole
it was one of the most useful mutations you can have man
a great Daniel
a simple yes or no Danielle either it’s useful to have to be able to show you agreeing or disagreeing
Jesus Christ
okay, just yell. Moore radio cb650r
I know stuff about people do you want to pass these characters top to bottom you know the bottom 10 to 5 I got a little strange but it sounds like they were homeless people on the subway and I’m going to keep going with this analogy because it was Oscar winners movie list
I love that movie that’s that’s that’s another $80 for their microphone
I had to edit that out so that
driving to work and there are cars going to flip over
okay. You’re not Chris de Burgh so you don’t have to relate
I’m sorry I did that I really am I wish I’d never mutilated Camille’s care you never really played D&D before you don’t know what’s what it’s all good yeah I should never have done that I’m sorry Kemal I should have never done a lot of things that I’ve done in the movie there’s an old man
there’s a basic math monsters that inhabit the subway and the they look like old man in trench coat and the only way the only person that knows right away is the autistic child of a shoeshine guy I think I just a kid calls him mr. funny shoes like I got to end
you going to watch the movie mimic
and then the kids bring home a a big huge cockroach baby and with the best part of the they stored in the Cheerios box which I’m sure I can imagine the meeting they had was with General Mills what do I didn’t want to store the deadly baby is that men
smack what is mimic the only mimic
like aliens come on
I like mimic
he like yells at I like with the phrase mr. funny shoes done in this horrible Italian accent happens a lot in the movie
mister funny shoes posted from the Netflix original Arrested Development and items robot baby plus power unit 300 gold yeah so did you say you had a question
I was letting you know that I have it because I’m going to kick your ass all over this thing by me and you could kick anyone’s ass with that man you’re a couple episodes behind because we have a neared the podcast but that’s so you have to pay particular attention to Spencer’s summary for episodes ahead and you have to listen really listened because
pic pictures of Dusty do you got any music or
Duncan ohyeah
99 Ranch
Google, where is super scary
last time on harmontown Heroes work deep underground on a secret in secret passageway known as the ghost way after leaving Rose book our gang was headed to 4 and hide the Frozen City to come from but they didn’t know where to go so they hired a guide one young boy named Lil Baskin Baskin with chiri but wasn’t as he seemed for the group quickly seem to suss out his true nature that he was in fact the ghost of a long-dead child just trying to earn an honest dollar the gang Embrace Baskins and love and acceptance and the group was off will Baskins guided them into a secret in Pitch Black passageway warning them that the spirits don’t appreciate the light and they attempted to blunder through the darkness blindly but after falling into and overcoming a pit trap Chris de Burgh realize that he has night vision goggles
the trip was about to get a lot easier or was it what Mysteries lie ahead on the ghost whey what Spirits lurk in the dark depths and one of the robot baby find out now
that was so Serene like I want I want that CD yeah, that’s what I think that’s a local artist that we can support like that the end of a Felicity episode decide if you like tonight’s D&D music go to go to go to go to go to Jet Jet face
Jeff Bezos Dead faces is largely an ambient artist but he wanted to make a big impact on that seen a check face
the music face will be playing it won’t play the music while you’re doing
but don’t worry it’s on a metal tape all right
check is coming
pages manager
system
glacial movement music box
and that his manager Chris hotel rooms have concrete floors
melting Rockefeller
then I would see jet face in a second
see the Austin bats fly out from under the bridge don’t you mean Houston bats
you’re right she’s what were they booing I don’t get it
so usually everyone doesn’t know what’s happening is that what’s Happening Here you must be underground Cavern you just passed the pit trap in your Yuri consolidating blindly and ready to take stock of your situation is Chris de Burgh it’s it’s it’s okay so you just at your character just put on dark vision goggles write them on yet would you like to put them on I don’t care
does it advances podcast yeah of course I put on my dark fishing, cuz I would love to know who’s on the goggles everything comes into sharp relief you’re on a narrow pathway that’s no more than 10 ft wide stretching on into darkness flanked by Bottomless Pits on both sides you’ll have to watch your step we watch our steps you watch your step but they can’t cuz they’re still blind
you see a pathway flanks by bottomless pit I see a pathway with a bunch of women from Liverpool with us all right what will what will watch our step
you you can’t watch your step you’re blind
what is this
like like
is putting his foot in front of the water
cuz he can seize I telling us okay we’re standing on a very narrow thing so yeah where should we should we fire up like an arrow into the darkness okay you care cuz you didn’t hit any little little baskets I’m about to cast magelight is that cool no I told you total darkness the spirits don’t appreciate like okay okay okay okay where you put your hands on each others shoulders and he leads us
it’s like a wet it’s like a well keep poking it fit
yeah where is he
where did you get that shirt you do the hokey pokey when I’m
battle over this nice foreign lady
she’s from Liverpool that that’s that’s that’s called Tuesday
so we’re doing a conga line
yeah in Conga line formation you find it really easy to make your way through a through the through the passageway and turns out that that’s all it took
I spent 10 minutes on them
the end of the passageway and you can feel the wind coming in from the other side of a portcullis that’s a that’s a locked gate with mechanical armaments that make it work and Port Cullis is a locked gate it’s like a locked gate one of yours isn’t locked because the portcullis has gears and shit and Gates Don’t typically have very correct what is the tension what dungeon master man the real Dungeons & Dragons
he’s kicking sand on the Umpire that’s what he’s doing
2 yard penalty the wind blowing in your face indicates that you must be near the surface as fresh air is Flowing if you can get past this portcullis you might be out of here little Baskins is like I don’t know how to do you know I just usually phase through walls so I don’t know how to help you guys out a robot baby said that we have a brobot baby and Ghost Boy and your confusion complicated gate we should we should try and unlock it I think imma wait hold on
sorry sorry, that makes sense now that’s a robot baby is one of two voices I do
all right robot baby will do you think you can unlock it I can do it is true that it
you like it and you like it and kick dry Let It kick the robot baby
you knock him into the portcullis and he hits it with a sharp claim before bouncing off
I also like Matt getting kicked
he said he likes getting I misunderstood I thought he said he likes getting kit
Kim kicking robot baby into the gate unlocked so yeah yeah yeah you’re a Christian Briggs a thief right Christopher Christopher you’re a thief you could unlock the guy will steal the gate
I put it in my room by Kate my hooded Cape oh I will use whatever you would recommend to unlock this gate so I let the chef going to ask Dan Dan probably can help you yeah I promise you a few tools oh I’m going to use boring podcast to get through.
I’m sitting here reading in front of you I’m quietly reading my dear and that’s alright I’m going to say a number of things that you tell me if I can use them team alright thieves tools
I do have some acid if you need that later 11 bolla you could I mean now I’m on the road the gates on the what do you feel like I don’t care using your thieves tools you completely dismantle the portcullis and can easily detach it and take it wherever you’d like to welcome assholes play Dungeons & Dragons
it’s just like on the TV show it was pretty
it was like the cartoon but when I was a kid and that movie with one of the Wayans brothers oh my God everyone Jeremy Irons is amazing in that movie.
Dan if you read the dungeon master flip out like this I don’t think so I never talk to him about the shity bad it starts with like a murders a dragon in the blood which is doing the same thing that normal water but you know colored Redwood do downstairs but it’s terrible CG in your like this is going to be good
and it doesn’t disappoint in that it completely disappoints
how do you remember like one like monster guy in the city going like if you I will cut help your heart face turned bright red and I just looked down at something for the rest of the movie yeah that sounds about right
yeah that was a guy he looks like a Ferengi kind of and they never explain that choice and it doesn’t matter at all that I look like that oh my God I would do it please watch it yeah it was amazing we’re at the end of your line.
Google hub
that wasn’t weird at all I was actual acting you did great I’d love it
how did this get made should do the Dungeons & Dragons movie
walk into a natural stone cave dimly-lit from the outside light is like that’s not as sorry as like when we get out it’s going to be real cold and you know unless you have some serious Park as we’re going to need to gear up or you’re freeze to death okay so just so you know keep that in mind I put on a coat you don’t have a coat I put on the gate I just dismantle a flaming sword click it to get it going but I would like to say thank you for that thank you sweetie I think there’s the resistance cloak but yeah I mean
will Baskins is like that cloaks not going to work sweaters coming
I put on The Amulet of autumn so it’s not that cold yet
what’s Adele’s like burning leaves at the season it currently is resist elements doesn’t work we’ll resist elements has a spell I’m talking about your cloak of resistance he got there it’s pretty shabby if you ask me what do you recommend some warm animal hides whenever you want me to do you want to freeze to death because it could be about that instead
hahaha I kill Daniel character in hide and side of her body
is a tan tan right it’s like that all right I don’t die I retract that alright alright guys well I guess we have to go hunting for indigenous species
so you guys you’re exiting the cave you hear the sound of some sort of snoring Beast
I hope it has fur
proceeding ahead you can see two sleeping right now sir I covered in leather but not fur leather we have a leather party if we kill these things
great
what do you think what’s your character’s name
dignity sarsgaard what do you think you want to do that
but what if we could tame them and ride stop talking so loud
what was Jamie was going to kill rhinos by I want to hear just out of morbid curiosity. Where do you see them going out in the cold they can be honest to keep his warm only will be born but we get to buy water sports do you understand that the only reason p is warm is because it’s inside a rhino and a lot of pee and then we’ll be cold from being wet not everybody that scientist
why did you bring this it wasn’t it wasn’t for moments like this that we can at least use their meat to lure Furrier animal
we have a plan I’m going to throw some okay powder are you guys going to anyone else going to do anything right at the sub turn before the rhinoceroses you know God’s bread is a plant are you asking me how it is a magical plant that it’s like eating an entire loaf of bread which is really my nightmare
I’d like to use my armlet of spring to ensnare the rhinos with 20 ft of vines winter to call a sleet storm on top of the Rhinos going to be really cold ass whole thing and specific it’s like rain in Miami all right yeah
throwing up so I can start by throwing a spotted doing those things
Chris De burgh’s roses blinding powder into the midst of of the of the Rhinos is dignity looses her ass it strikes one of them right in the shoulder above its front leg dealing
5 damage nice job Wild Kratts the bird summons a sleet storm sending driving sleet and icing scold quarter weird day for these rhinoceros
why what happened at school
into the cave what do I use my Aira to Spring to ensnare them so that they are cat captive audience for these rather did various activities
while you launch Vines towards the rhinoceros iuu casting your magical amulet takes a bit longer than throwing throwing an ax so the rhinoceros hit by the axle bolts up right and charges out of out of the cave but the other one is entangled fast and blinded struggling wildly like am an animal that I have something called a dragon dick yeah that’s that’s got to do something great it can fuck a dragon
can I put cook charging rhino like a dragon the charging rhinos left the cave you can fuck the I don’t I don’t like the idea that sound good do it
what do I use my dragon dick on the blind rhino
untreatable
it’s way too big you couldn’t even get it in into anything dragons are giant they’re fucking big
nice nice
the biggest hug a rhino all of you have swords I think
oh yeah I am I hit it with my flaming sword
BBQ dude you do that and it deals some amount of damage
well that’s pretty obvious right yeah I think so especially when you hit them 10 damage and it catches fire app
Rhino me for everybody however the fire on it burns out the vines and it becomes on in Tangled
it struggles to its feet and starts crashing into the cavern walls it starts sending a box and then sand and dirt coming down from the ceiling above it it’s getting kind of dangerous but you aren’t attacked by it because it’s blank to keep warm
it’s all because you decided to do stuff to rhinos I mean
we could have walked past them and hope to come to it like a Coat Factory
okay dude I think that Maureen is the only person that could cast resist element since she’s dead I know I think
what’s up Tourette’s
okay I’m going to whoever goes first around the legs to try to snare it
all right the rampaging Rhino is too wild to get your chains in it sorry I hear the kids I’m a slave to the streets I will give them what they want
it’s part of the urban culture I will do shocking grasp on the rhino
not scraping the Rhino with a lightning infused grap grasping motion Rhino yeah it takes 25 Lightning game
birthday we are safe and it falls to the ground stunned at first I speak Rhino to it though you don’t speak right now how make sure and I yeah and then I try to saw its head off
and then I would have where the headset
I stopped
what a piss on us first
it’s not he didn’t say was pissing we’re going to wait around for that we are
the cold storm under the thing were freezing fine that’s true you guys are pretty chilly but you find it rather easy to stab the stunned beast in the throat and saw off its head and wear it on your head
yay it’s a look that you definitely can pull on now I’m going to sing something by Black Sabbath I’m not sure what you mean about no I know it’s been a hard year for Black Sabbath Elvis Costello I’m going to sing about Black Sabbath
dead rhino all right we got it we got one dead right and you know what they say one dead rhino is better than albino zero to have a skinning knife I start skinning this rhino right
and I try not to laugh like a like a breathless Hilary Swank in an action film where we going for the Frozen City we’re going to freeze to death is the thing we got it look at rhinos we killed they’re not going to make it warmer I guess do you think we could make worms out of rhinos a little bit maybe stuff some like hay in there but maybe somewhere or dried leaves and cardboard newspapers no sorry I was being a word yeah you are you step out of the cave into a into a similar graveyard in the forest it’s a nice little graveyard with probably less than 30 graves in it you can see that’s
several of the graves are just devastated in a large portion of fence has been dismantled is if a rhino charge through it was Danny Graves
probably I mean really wearing clothes that we can wear the clothes to keep warm and I don’t want to smell that bad
hey guys I’m a little Baskins Cemetery right I feel right at home
you going to be offended if we disagree these Graves look for fur coats it looks like those guys are right ahead of you in the corner the graveyard you see Sue to dark figures that are hunched over they look like they’re digging digging for something you didn’t see him before because of rhino devastation
the two forms stand-up they reveal themselves to be Knowles and they’re like oh you are here fast we fuck what
you identify yourselves you you bastards I will not do that
don’t you don’t you remember when you killed our brother or brother your church in Cold Blood and we swore Vengeance this is that bitch
this is your Vengeance oh yeah well digging in a hoping he would come near us my friend has a point your vengeance is lame
what are we going to show up where is Legends Tavern does the smaller of the two Knolls spreads his arm out and you see black lightning bolts into the earth below and then you hear a rumbling almost as if the ground is moving in several bony arms burst out of the soil and start to pull themselves out to their feet tag about your dick bro
no I’m not Chris de Burgh in this way I know she doesn’t have a dick anymore either he pulls it out holy shit yo there’s one cock left in the party
is Chris de Burgh cut his own penis off and then earlier episode saw that when I did and I’m fine it’s going to grow back I’m a fucking salamander all right
it takes a while what do you think young people please you from Liverpool
all right she’s she mumbles nothing she makes a high-pitch I mumbled that work with super effective no no I’m sorry that doesn’t work I look at these gnolls and I say y’all using blood magic
not yet bitch but I’m about to he slashes is dumb open and smears it across the stroll and hold it above his head and you see a swirling torrent of blood come out of the scroll and surround the skeletal zombies in blood he pulls out of shotgun thank you all right we should stop there we got a big fight coming up with some skeletons are we going to stop Dungeons & Dragons there that’s the end of this year was kill one of two Rhino Spartan welcome welcome to Everett
yes, Charlie Duncan Trussell Danielle from Liverpool
as always
the nerd Mount theater Justin Marshall back there exact working audio Spencer Crittenden the dungeon master
maybe go figure out a way to download the Yahoo screen app download the Yahoo screen app but if you already have it could become totally relevant from communicon for coming and blessing us in and we will see you in season 6 and then a movie and then beyond thank you guys all right