Episode
Episode: 177 – Why Is It Called Lord of the Rings?
Description
Rob Schrab questions Lord Of The Ring(s), depression and someone dies in Shadow Run! Watch the video at harmontown.com/live
Transcript
all right that was chosen at random amazing gentleman
buckle your holyshit belts
commentary about theater in Hollywood California harmontown is now
what’s the deepest darkest Mists of my imagination
and all the concentration I can conjure is there a Spencer Crittenden Among Us
Spencer Crittenden to the stage
you got your shorts back on oh yeah I heard about your pants last week and I was alarmed though everyone was everyone was how you doing so good that means he is the mayor of Hermantown mr. J
yeah
beat beat to the street street everyone two feet to feet walk two feet walk down the street to the beat
sorry for the street to the street street meet him walking two feet from across the street
you have the beat with your feet that’s not don’t listen to him
I got sorry about that
I didn’t know that I didn’t know we had beef
are fucking Street beef has gone on for too long straight beef Dan Harmon that’s the mayor you walked out you said keep that pig going to keep that big pedal-to-the-metal you want to you want to go back to that beat
give me a different beat
you sure yeah
give me a good one a slow one picture Christmas tree rhythm
do you have a fear of the ramp if you have one. One minute 40 left
what’s happening stop ignoring ignoring that every street has a beat to a treat every street has one or two feet every street Watts along their own street that seems like a contradiction how could you want them yourself the answer is you got to ask yourself how could you walk on your self with you on your cycle be late. My name is sweet Beat, and that’s it. She said do you want a newspaper and I said no because of the internet okay
all right that’s good you have a minute five letter what you’re at become a minute five left Iraq war addiction and reggae and it’s usually the toilet and Isis came in
I thought he’s got you in the Hat lady in the front row I was just the first letter of Dan’s name
Jack yo yo yo why do you wrap go webbed feet on the pond swimming around a woman of mine do is over on the other Shore I’m going to go over to her and say hey if you want more of my duck penis but she’s like no and then nnnn nnnn we’re into a whole thing and
my Graton Graton Reserve developed over six million years and we got magnets in their ears and let sit like a mix of supply and truly intricate patterns that even humans Marvel at yo
I think rhyming is overrated alright thank you everybody Jeff Davis
I was here to help us if I can set you up now
is it that people only pay $5 to watch you make that face most people listen for free and they don’t know that you’re making a face
are you listening giving two thumbs up
he just gave three thumbs up
when’s a dick obviously tonight’s one of those nights when we’re all a little probably a little drunk I’m so I can sober as a judge
owl be the Noble at admit that I got a little drunk today
and thank you kid thank you you really think it’s so glamorous and then I’ll see you in hell
all right here’s what I got a ride everything’s about everything so much fucking in porn and stuff on my notes are those things relating to it so so so but like like last week we have the young lady come up and she tried to explain tender to me and Rob and I was talking about cuz it was like still tried to explain tender and she did say that to take the most like interesting thing that she said was like what does xyzal never understand Tinder I haven’t installed it in like used it but I thought I was thinking and I wrote it down and it did look like the most important thing was that tender was an offshoot of grinder which would in Granger was like gay dudes going like who wants to fuck a butt or night or when you’re gay it says it’s okay
I’m equal to everyone and you would chase me to the Shadows you get what you deserve yeah yeah my IQ is 200 I have to about disposable income I’m a good person I deserved if you have the right to be married and you underestimate me fuk u m c Grand fucking but MC Grande lick a nut MC grinder what is but MC Grande I’ll tell you melt down audience we haven’t heard the last of everything grinder tonight
he was friendly Beaver priest at some point you’re making JMC grinder wrap or what each other if you is there a way I can just be a bad guy could I just be like the shifts this rapper
I like straight straight heteronormative rapper MC stream Jim Belushi do we have any extra world or she
is Grindr only men you close my dish drainer only game I know it’s white it’s racist
what’s the name of the game rap battles.
Is it just says he’s joking a scissor without an afro gay women mean
it wasn’t just me you didn’t work for you or anybody
it’s easier to swipe on Tinder and figure out who’s queer
all right
conversation with Heather tender and try to figure out who’s gay comic
okay alright okay
drivetribe
to the stage mother bring him out here
some of the Opera if you bring him out
gentleman
what’s up bro
make a drink
Megan Fox
call stock
I like ice a lot of ice
all right I’m sorry
write what was your what was your comic book called
all right so who who who who in the in the crowd will sit there for the cameras right there all right you guys you guys are familiar with a male porn
performer named Nick Manning as catchphrases dropping loads
the man who eat when he came as he says dropping loads and stuff like like I’m not dropping bat load
I was looking for his videos and he’s he’s in a million videos but if you were looking for his videos and in particular yeah I type his name into because you like why do you say dropping loads of weather coming up on him and see if he was
then see a problem videos if he maintains this like caveman unloads this is the fascinating things are going to pay him I think he signed a contract I haven’t dug deep but I clicked on the first three videos and it’s just him going like he grabbed the one that goes like
Anna and I like she’s their second is that he’s basically Cookie Monster’s
great but you like is at your end of this guy and this guy you’re searching his there is a miracle and I don’t know I mean the socialist country that needed it when it needed in the Golden Gate Bridge exist because of the right time I don’t know Ben Franklin are you in to Kitty Hawk
what is the weirdest cook parade I’ve ever seen are you watching these are you clicking on this guy’s pouring because it’s sexy to you or because you like him as a personality I want to check in on him but I want to know I want to watch some say dropping loads okay I don’t want to just see the Audio I want to see him say dropping loads and his dick
instead of going to YouTube but trivia and Rick and Morty fans like season 2 there’s a season 2 is that the thing it’s floating in the planet it’s it’s going to happen loud so that’s that’s a Nick Manning reference
but but like he doesn’t see it anywhere but he says these crazy things girls do your pussy juices on my balls like he’s like he’s like Lenny Bruce was like as you don’t like pouring you and he doesn’t like it he’s like Tortas bullshit like I said I feel like he’s screaming
I see you you are jerking off to this guy’s point
I’m there I’m just I’m it’s pouring but you’re you’re clicking in your typing in the name of a guy that says what to do if you’re already making was on dumber than he is
you can’t just stand down for a second I’m listening listening finding out with the Honda Civic ex-t do is get ready to go I’m pretty sure Dino’s told the story on the podcast for Gino’s do it like he was in a hotel somewhere out of town and he ran into a trans he knew he or she and put a pin in your offense at that because that’s the point of the story is that he was that he saw AAA
prostitute prostitute I kind of figure hanging outside a hotel that that upon first sight of him said like room 315 and and and he was like okay I know it’s late later on that night he went up to the room and then this person who was presenting as a very attractive woman who had a wiener and a red Dino new had a wiener when he when he saw her but like what it was like I’m into this going to go to the ER with this person he was retelling the story tonight. It was so funny because I don’t like like a man or a woman that triggered my like Millennial like I was like what was what were they presented as but it’s so funny cuz he knows the new Archie Bunker
family was made today meat meat head would be the one by Avicii come on what this person you don’t know what they were sucked into Jake I fuck them but didn’t matter Jesus Christ
I was just like the jet express. I don’t know if I can do it it’s a girl is that he was in the I don’t care what does the clitoris what is this
the truly cuz I was like we were ripping on it was like that it actually is the case that today’s meeting watch the show All in the Family on 903 at the show tomorrow
we’ve got a new picture but all in the family right now knocking it off all right one more thing and then I’m done with my and then we’re freewheeling the flight that wasn’t freewheeling
that was not for you I’m trying to move forward goes to voice into a new era where I’m going to dress I’m going to I want to know where all the same outfit all the time I learned this from a character called Seth brundle in a Cronenberg remake of The Fly
be a long time ago you for a while we’ll get it and I’ve been in a fucking I Ruled the World
the character of Seth brundle in cronenberg’s remake of the closet and she says the closet and there’s like five of the same outfit and she’s like what the hell and he goes I learned it from Einstein you don’t have to waste your time thinking about outfits or whatever and that’s the moment when she like jumped on a man starts making out with him so I was like 13 I was like okay so here we got
what’s your outfit going to be going to wear for us I’m glad you asked so I always have that for my side that’s a myth or whatever the fuck you wanted or like my luggage is either
I agree with you like I totally agree with you or like even more different types of shirts and jackets but they were either like black or white or gray how do you spell thing is everybody around him was at the time they were wearing that color and stuff but that’s not not a lot of didn’t do it so the originator of that concept and the fly in keeping with his principal in the movie he credits I sign with it but I never did it he’s saying in the movie he says don’t have to expend any mental energy and what you’re going to wear so what are you going to wear what’s the outfit going to be guess what Seth brendel’s outfit which is the jacket and the grey black and white herringbone suit jacket with a white collared shirt dark red tie and pants
give track of your stuff down
how’s it going to look what he said it’s because the thing is when you Google Seth brundle you don’t kid Healthcare clear look at any of his pant a lot of the fly man climbing on walls you know what are you going to you going to Freestyle on the other ways to get this right cuz you as they’re like
got go ahead I’m I’m sorry he’s saying he just agreed that the Google despite Seth brundle protest he’s he seems to be wearing three separate pairs of pants throughout the movie with the antithesis of his his claim is that he wears the same outfit try on and off the same pair of pants that are the wrong color over three do you have those people who he related to business from his sizes so I had that tried to eyeball the pants and then take him to the tailor and then they did they go I can’t have this you have to have him come in and I say fuck you and then they’d hand the pants and I bring them back and they’d be hemmed wrong and so I had to go back and get them to fix it again when you when you guys figure this out you were actually going to commit to wearing that outfit yeah across the board
flash in the pan are you going to commit to this way or are you going to bail on as I feel like I don’t do it for you by Harman around your neck like I know what you’re saying you and I want you to commit to that I’m all for that. I want you to take hey hey hey hey I got a solution let’s make it interesting
alright alright alright okay
too much too much will go down once you find the outfit and I’m all for the antagonist when you find the comfort zone you okay this is this is the color of the trouser this is that this is the jacket this is the thing we’re going to get how many do you think Spencer Dam on the eyes 5 yeah I never put a calendar right here right here right here and it will stay the same for a couple of years anyway so
blaming you straight you strike me as somebody doesn’t wear a lot of different Jews I don’t
hey Rob Dennis hearing somebody who don’t change them shoes a lot of one bedroom apartment in the same old nappy ass shoes all the time you need to tame them shoes
Dan Rogers died I’m totally agree I’m not a grumpy mood like a defensive mood for no reason why are you here, there is no, absolutely not the gray t-shirt
2 biopic
beat that, that is the famous Steve brendo that you’ve been talking about all right well we’re off road now so I hope you guys brought your show just doesn’t do you remember do you remember the fly I’m not a JoJo tell me about set you piece of shit
I want you to start wearing an outfit I had to come back to help you get the right pants
right we’re going to get the right pants of that we can be sure
I know what else to do trying to I think this is going to go the way of the last time you wore your powder blue short sleeve cotton button-down shirt every kid out there listening right now to listen to what just trying to do what he’s doing is called identity bullying
like if you decide one week that you want to be like Captain Neo the reference
you want to shoot lasers and make people dance and you’re like oh I’m going to do this every day to do it and get bored I support all the way guys like this are always going to be like no you got a you hang up your mind factoring the he’s going to tell you that your manufacturing conflict
but what what he was trying to be by saying that is is when I’m in town and then giving it up
I don’t think imma cut song
no no
the enemy he’s the enemy
play Greg Lake just follow your bliss follow your heart kids to fall in love fall in love love love that person for two days if you did for three days you or them
Sun God
show me listen Rob offer
it was too early
Charlie to bring a rain check the format of the show
I’d like to bring Rob drop back out around strapback hats
cuz now she feels right now the time is right I want him to understand who’s in charge
I think it still feels right
wrap it up on top of the podium here and do a little partying man
I’m going to get up on that
Rob schrab everybody
thank you so much forever rob you are welcome
Hey guys is gone he’s leaving now he’s staying then both have the same memory of the first time you guys locked eyes
it was like the back of Cults and Milwaukee comedy store. Or was it LA freeway stand up there was it was probably there I’ve been there
it was not, but you were like probably 1877 1717 I was 39
but I am remember
yeah I’m rubbing funny and some improv exercises when I remember you were off we were done with the workshop and you were sitting and then you had a bag of chips and you had a soda and you were talking about how you had read that the chips had riboflavin in them and that the riboflavin was a tenderizer and that it was designed for the same companies created the soft drinks and the chips because the riboflavin tenderizes you
and didn’t I don’t think that’s right I think that I don’t think that’s right I think riboflavin does that does anybody know what riboflavin does riboflavin it just has anybody well it’s not why I brought it up in the view
and I didn’t I didn’t think you were right when you guys connected inside you guys could be like maybe Frank Azar
allowed around there was a chair it’s $10 I’ll give you all your money back in it doesn’t matter in the life doesn’t matter no just find someone you’re happy with just find someone your happiness find someone
just feel around in the dark
that’s what I do to do the thing I get dressed I get I get up before Kate. So I get dressed in the dark so that that removes everything you know so I just like oh okay this nut and then I walked out looking I’m looking a little weird sometimes some do you have a different color socks and shoes oh God yes, my gosh and it’s crazy everybody goes wow who’s this guy different
different colored socks cuz you know how everybody looks at other people’s socks it is a shit that I would go through every fucking Sunday morning with my mother you know and I would put on like white socks you can’t wear white socks with dress shoes and like who’s looking at my socks in church girl sitting down I’m behind a few if they’re looking at my socks maybe what we’re listening to his fucking boring
hey that’s a new commandment to fix the air conditioning at the premiere for monster house because it’s a Halloween movie invitation said your favorite Halloween costume and the only people that paid attention to that part of the invitation for Rob and his wife
and some kid who dressed up as Jack Sparrow
in order to get people to watch his Nickelodeon show where the house is a monster hello mr. Yes we did it we did it and then Rob Ryan
what was the truck in tight fucking hard on
circuitry puffy paint circuitry checking on you cuz you know who I am
that was back when you were trouble Jim and I used to go to the gym three times crazy at all times not at all times but I could pull it off you did it was a good it was a good ass
the great ass
where in the limo bring the limo I’m dressed as is Tron Kate’s dressed as the tooth fairy and just before we get out I go you know something I bet you were going to be the only ones dressed in costume Europe know I’m right and we’re getting our picture taken and everybody’s going crazy. It says in the invitation
yeah we know
I didn’t realize it’s it it is Hollywood so you don’t do stuff that I know you don’t know it’s a test we want me to tell me we walked the red carpet and we get our picture taken and then the next day we go Dan Harmon writer always a Gil Kenan director of a guy says Robert zemeckis and it says Tuesday and then Kate and I background
play Background let you know when you go to a Premiere and you have like hired people dressed up as like idiots in the back of his head its image the image of a picture of a background background is not even trying not even Tooth Fairy just background don’t know why they’re on the red carpet
don’t know why they’re trying in the tooth fairy
they sure are smiling like I’m supposed to know why they did that
background for lack of a better word background what have you been doing how about if you heard about these Chinese murder vans
okay they murder people is their angle Vengeance are these going to randomly killing strangers who killed their van parents
all right I really you read one article one of those screaming and now they kill you in the van so okay sorry this is a joke I’ve talked about this before I know what the real the real the real thing that’s been happening in my life
is Lord of the Rings
that’s a real thing as a no no okay so I was I was on the computer I built a computer yeah I know I know it’s hard to believe Rob is I read your message and the end and then I get a phone call from Robert Rob no no no no I’m driving in cuz I worked at Lego this morning and how you doing
yo yo Spence what’s up
so I’m masturbating and I’m like I’m just so you know I’m just done I’m just on that internet I’m on that kotaku.com explain I’m just telling the people would happen call me up the website
what is you’re going to tell Rob when he calls me when I’m drinking
all right come on let’s go I’m driving and I haven’t I have a question so I called our dungeon master and I went hey why is it called Lord of the Rings when there’s only one ring
what I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t understand that because as far as what I’m seeing and I’ve read four books like that ring wandering hand is the ring of invisibility and Bilbo got it and then and then Fred did they do the other Rings where are they and the first 15 seconds of the movies after it oh my God oh my God I’m sorry I must be mistaken the first 15 seconds of the whole thing so okay but the whole thing after it then if that’s what the stories about if that’s what the stories about who it isn’t it’s not with the stories about right oh okay okay
which college let’s call it King Kong’s
but there’s only one King Kong yes but he had a mother and a father
doesn’t make sense
score of the Cubs Chicago family
he gets it like I mean like think about the pitch like he walks into whatever bar with CS Lewis and and and and there’s a there’s fucking HP Lovecraft hanging out in the corner and got cool just got done with my at my whole books on man what it was about the Lord of the Rings wow oh wow is it about like a guy a lord who like finds all these rings and and then and then and then there’s days it’s like fighting over all these Rings know it’s nothing to do with rings is just one ring after my my Seventeen books that are all about lions witches and wardrobes
is more accurate than that there’s not even a Lord of the Rings like like I mean presumably whoever made all those Rings was a Lord of the Rings but show me about him there’s no but that person is not then like I don’t think so
I don’t know I’m pretty sure
I’m pretty sure elves made all the Rings gave three of them two dwarves a human touch of the other rings to wear well leaving why does it say you looking up on Wikipedia
take me to get out and see if Levi everybody saved someone knows
this isn’t this isn’t that your fate
it is it is it a baked I’m taking it down or going to win the Rings do
it’s raining and now I’m really powerful I’m going to do this thing with the sword and everybody’s going to fly all over the place because I did this week because I’m wearing this ring and then somebody cuts off my finger. OK Google
send invisible he’s wearing this ring and he doesn’t turn invisible I would if I were to defend of of of mortal beings means that the most of the biggest power that you would have if ever a ring of that power in Butte itself and you the very first and foremost thing you would do before you could fly or do anything that you would just be a creepy creepy invisible person mean if you had a bunch of rings three books about Nat bat
what is Stephen to say we need to have rings to battle evil when is that ever comes back never talked about him or use them for the first time I met that guy I work for him to give me superpowers compatible with Warner Brothers in a good book
dentist and people hate books the back of a map where in the back of a comic book store not in the comic book store in there was one ring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them nothing that should say is that after three movies that’s not true that didn’t go to his story at all everything King of the better title Lord of the Rings
there’s there’s only one Ringo’s is.com Rick and Morty go there and go to Harmon milk everyone fight AIDS in watch sizo Harman fan
Carmen fantasy what’s the word of the Rings like did the elvenking misnamed your book that in 2015 there is 90 movies about what did he do wrong hate yeah you know that wrong if something’s popular than it’s right Hitler
Kaboom store on Kaboom Lord of the Rings you coming up here he loves the rings he loves rings that is why you watch the movie Rings you knew you knew that I like I like the ring in The Hobbit I thought it was all yet so you wanted a million rings
accurate I like I like to be called a guy in a tower
what does an accurate navigation movie I enjoy my neighbor’s a good title diehards better than a guy in Die Hard
well it has nothing he doesn’t die hard in the movie he’s alive forever well it’s hard for him to die its a hoise a hard down there for the Hard Die Hard Die Hard Die Hard Die Hard Die Hard is a better hard hard iron
damn
yeah the Die Hard Die Hard liver yeah he’s a badass I’ll have him called die hard. I’m kind of excited that you were so passionate that you would come try that out are you that big a die-hard fan
oh okay I’m now now I don’t know where to go with you
my mom
okay Jeremy so you’re a witch
now I found out at the same time 24
I was 15 when I was 14 or 15 in the Die Hard together cuz I’m just leaving
my mom is really into die hard on every time I came on TV and I loved I found out like a giant boner for Alexander good enough
I just deliver Nick Manning
do you watch that guy’s pouring because you enjoy him as a character because what’s happening is sexy
in a world where is there a second that were sitting here another five thousand pieces of pouring are made we clearly if you took one step back from our species and looked at the media we create as it is you would with honey bees making whatever they make and don’t say honey don’t say honey
give me a call if you take a step back and look at what we create media-wise you would go these people love porn they make a lot of it per second so the question the answer to the question was I watching Nick Manning to like it here that make fun or they get turned on it’s like give me what you got and he’s like he’s a judge make
but you like him as a like why come you don’t like him
I don’t know him he might be like dropping loads we should tag Muslims
I want to drop a load on each Muslim that you can read it in airports what is Rob doing a Rob is going to come again
he’s sitting like he’s about to tell us something about our high school experience
hey yeah I’ve done some drinking I’ve done some drugging
it will not cool I’m telling you kids got to read what’s going on on the Lego Lego to what it what do you need what are you ask me any question I’ll tell you the absolute truth have fell and Chris stepped foot in the building sent in the last year
yep why is my mom
how is wild style I think you mean when you leave at the end of 2016 are you going to miss me yes why won’t you look at me because I’ll start crying
what are going to miss most about what am I going to miss most about Dance 2 or 3 times about not being in the same city with Dan watching the movies with him
are you going to miss about Robin it goes away for a year-and-a-half
his pain
Kiki you like his pain makes me feel effective in his defense it is pretty funny
delicious very type I mean we I mean me and Rob we were kids you know and tell a story when Steve Martin and what’s your name in there like and I go out in the garden and
I hope it’s not fucking be who we are now yeah but like
it’s not as I like being who you are now required us like holding hands and we barely talk to each other cuz I’m very thankful I got our friendship
foundational to it good now I’m I’m all for it
I mean I wish you have to go to Vancouver to make Legos move it doesn’t make any sense I could do that here on the floor
for one-tenth the budget that I don’t understand I don’t get it. You’re welcome to come visit you no one can ever hurt me ever
it’s not possible now I don’t have no feelings know that are available like the outside that’s not something that you can do like nobody can hurt remember remember that one New Year where was like you know I think I think we both of us like we’re in our third like you just turned 30 and we were it was a New Year’s and we were like parties over New Year’s with going to go out and have fun and Rave it up with all those young’uns and stuff listen to stay home and watch some TV and hinges will Colin night you know around 11:30 or something like that and your girlfriend at the time I came over and she was like yeah I guess I’ll do that too I got a bag of mushrooms that I found in the freezer
and it was like a like a trash bag in there in the freezer in there for like about a year so they dare not let me tell you something they’re not going to work we’re not going to get high so if anybody want some sure I think we were trying to get you there I think we were on the phone with you and you’re like I’m not coming over there how late are you going to be there I’ll be there soon
so I remember I remember no no no we’ll get back to this pain will get back to us so anyway Chris Hallman is a robin Roth and we had to put him down there and we’re like oh okay well I guess I’ll take a handful too I remember looking at my hand and a like a pile of mushrooms and I might going okay you said it’s not going to work it’s not going to work it’s not going to work famous last words
fuck it
oh man I’m so fucking whole Jesus 30 years old really should know it’s all over with us I think we broke at the time and whatever around it up to the TV and Chris Tomlin and I are sitting just kind of crashed out on the couch watching it kind of sleep Lee watching it and Dan’s in front of us on a Dance Dance Revolution and it starts and then we keep going every level
lights and stuff like that and all of a sudden lights are coming out of the TV and and and Dan is like
Spanish dancing
cutting a little toe little 13 I can’t stop losing it I can’t stop losing do I set up a music is like going through the roof and our ears or shattering and I look like Chris Tomlin and I went oh no yeah we took way too much and and we were just like
Robin took off and ran down the street and it was just the most high I’ve ever been in my life like the walls were growing hair and everything was like black tight but there was nothing on it we were an indent like Steve Agee gave me like I gave me a hand job I know he get he gave me like a couple days earlier like a videotape of of like like I never seen or something like that just clips of it and they had like the pilot the original pilot for The Munsters
yeah if you have a bad game. Made my feet as I’m perfect perfect perfect
call Konami
and there was that other Munsters he had a widow’s peak in Bubba bub recast like that’s the Michael j.fox there was an Eric Stoltz so then they showed it and it was like in the kid’s name was like happy something as we supposed to have a smell or whatever they show The Munsters Fred Gwynne and he’s the everything everything’s normal months. And then this fucking kid comes
and he was like a werewolf boy and like we were and mushrooms and chicken cuz I don’t remember putting in the table to put it on tape and then we were like watching and then we just hung out whatever we started talking about young man you know like it’s just so great that we know each other after all this time and just pure comedy is just because we were like oh yeah have a great time but then there’s always that most if there’s a kid who thought he was going to be Eddie Munster who never got to be pretty much just cuz he was ugly and terrifying which is what you’re supposed to be doing with our lives and why am I 32
cuz I ain’t got shit to do I want to kill myself, where everything’s the same except the one thing that was like outside character comes in and it’s just like
I mean that that was the original version of Eddie Munster pretty funny but it didn’t really reply but it wasn’t working with him but there’s a party where you like never even came over and we’re like as pretty as not working and there is a negus there was an ecstasy or something and yeah I know what I’m going to go I was I was dressed as I was 99 Cent Store Cowboy I have made a cowboy hat out of all things for the 99 cent store is right I drank cowboy hat made of kitten calendars and and the party ended up in your office which is like the smallest room in the apartment and run bean bags
I’m going to go and then strap had this Disneyland that give kids these swinging things what are they going to strap it because it is Tron costume not in a little penis head to toe spandex try on circuit be waving a Disney things and then you go why you leaving
what do you mean
gay party gay party
gay party gay party party party party
but the idea or was that it was just a funny experience
just get together at your pictures in your homes and do them in my bedroom in my bedroom and have a picture from my I think it’s my 27th birthday and it’s Rob and I are we just on ecstasy and we’re at the beauty bar on Cahuenga and this is a picture of us I think Heather my ex-girlfriend took its us at whatever year that would have been late like 90-something late late late night and it’s my favorite picture is it’s it’s really really good how are pupils like NASCAR forehead
all right cuz I don’t work on me anymore
oh that poor baby
I’ve done so many drugs I can’t I can’t feel them anyway we’d breath strip and check Benson show come on oh my God is the worst if it was higher numbers is in pain here who has time
what you you’re raising your hand like incense silence do you want to come up here and share your pain
what was until we got our friend here
oh that’s adorable but there was a guy who had a heart transplant last week
he’s from Canada what
what do I have to do to get up on stage think about it more like
oh my God I’m in so much fucking pain okay what’s
you’re in a lot of fucking pain is it cool if you share it
podcast Dynamite but maybe not for you so you can
yeah yeah sometimes human pain could be run like a rag into a bottle and you can drink it and you can sell it for a subscription fee
what’s your name young lady Tara Tara sorry to call young lady I’m sure that’s good so that’s got to be that’s how I don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t old mansplain
how to talk to a young lady
tear away from from New York Long Island visiting yeah
settling in
South Shore Suffolk County
I’m sorry I’m sorry I just don’t know what to do
a bunch of reasons I kind of came for the sun actually
maybe try stand up comedy chest pain right now
I am just like very severely depressed and can’t really seem to get past it because you’ve come out to LA you’re living here is what we could predict which is you don’t know what you doing you know where you going to press my whole life for sure but like putting myself alone in a new city severe like has triggered it to a point where your friends or any kind of like a connection when you come out or you cannot tell Layla tribe had to come out to LA for me to come I never would have gone out to commend you for that is a very ballsy thing to do because like Dan and I in Milwaukee said for years we got to get out of here we got to go to Los Angeles I never would have done it if it wasn’t if Dan would have gone if he was that I’m not going to go I would have stayed there so to do it by yourself is really commendable
thank you oh yeah it doesn’t necessarily for tell anything which I think that’s the big crucial issue how old are you see me again if we can ask a couple of right 2727 old I was when I was younger than that to me I was like why is he even bothering to come out but they didn’t
age when we think about it the big crucial issue was out, it’s like a psycho I’m going to accomplish this by this stage of the stuff like like like that’s the big thing and so it’s a big city like LA or New York and it’s like oh the reason I’m coming here is because this is the place where you plug into the Mainframe and then I’m going to become this like white and version of myself and it’s going to be at the mercy of this bartender or this agent or this psych flyer or this workshop and you don’t get your fucking dizzy and like like wondering because I’m sure back home you’ve got probably a tribe of people that bless their hearts maybe aren’t totally going totally I Get It Go audition for everything and don’t have expectation of joining
the entertainment world but so you’re right now at 27 you’re going I got out here I’m just going to eat so I’m exiting a 4-year like
relationship I’ll get us a emotional abusive relationship so I kind of flea dust 8 to come to the state
to get away from that guy good for you good for you
bad guy
an angel either so whatever
Icona I had it cut it
firing season in the opposite direction that I can get you into you know into orbit and go to the places you want to go so but that’s that’s what I’m very happy that you that you chose to land here on a Sunday night with us is very cool what’s the what’s the financial issue like LA’s an expensive place what’s your situation before I came here I work as a behavioral therapist with autistic kids that sounds like apples not a lot of here
that’s you that’s here in La I just have like Christmas blues The Fault in Our Stars last night Chris the best movie ever fault in our stars is there is there your ass there more than one star in the movie
because if I haven’t seen it yet
if I go seeing it in there just like oh well there’s just one star I’m a I’m going to my brain will blow up it’ll blow up
it’ll blow up my brain will blow up it’ll blow up it’ll blow out my brains going to blow
I happen to have seen that movie I was 42 years old in a luxury hotel in Venice at Christmas time with a woman I love very much there is absolutely nothing wrong with my life and that movie made me wobbly
so if it is if you’re if you’re 27 and you like you don’t necessarily have a mortgage in the movie and what do they call it a neti pot
let’s it clears you out that movie will fuck you up watch it watch it you piece of shit
you need to watch Jeff Davis you need to watch The Fault in Our Stars fuck you up
but there’s definitely a positive message from it I thought I thought the Anne Frank was a little weird spoilers weird spoilers but yes yes
I’ve actually never seen a movie that had something that insane in it that I also still at the end it was like I was thinking weeping I was like that’s why couldn’t I hate places like weeping yeah I know a good movie nice movie well-written nicely shot whatever so there’s a really cuz I’m telling you that’s important shit like that you may need just need three days off of that movie you maybe you may just need to watch Cannonball Run 2
this sure thing and Hudson Hawk
where was the TV show Nathan for you and I show me which way they cleaned you out which which which episode was episode I could totally season where the weight loss episode
hey and you know what Beyblade is taking out of my phone and Lena Dunham
call him up
you have his number
call Nathan right now
show me my drunk voice mail is going if I can go viral and it looks it’s looking like I don’t actually have no business
I’m running a lot of times what I’ll do is if somebody’s following me on Twitter I’ll consider that having my number
cuz yeah that’s his Wikipedia suck my integrity
we use my phone to play it anyways with can we please get grounded and be since I turned you into Japanese
I saw that movie entertainment it was sad but it it made me laugh too maybe not belly laugh
are you in La your job is what what do you do when you punch in the clock you you and then you go I want to tell you I’m not going to look at you and your like I think getting you are you grab them and you’re like come on and then like perfect and then I don’t know I don’t know why I settled into that I thought that was that was that was trying to do that’s not what I was trying to do you correct me for the moment you must be nice
I have depression I can’t I don’t get up for work I just won’t get off of work if it’s early so I’ve had to find jobs that start past 2 sounds like a joke what do you tell in the interview you’re like what do you consider yourself you’re saying you you you suffer from depression like or like like across the board at the whole time every time like I are you taking medication for it in any time you want to see a picture of your prying out of a ZJ don’t have to answer anyting but but but but like so it will return but like from what what age were you when you were like I’m fucking clinically depressed what what what when did you know
I mean
is felt like sad for sure but like probably around like going away to college really like fella like plummeted down just being shipped up States like Upstate New York school was like completely like alone in the cold and just like shit today
did start to affect your truck but what was the Tipping Point where you went to a doctor and started treating it as if it was a clinical thing as opposed to a thing that was wrong with you that you were dealing with Heidi route get leaving college at 18 went home and was just completely depressed and then my mom you know it was like there was a lot of people are you you you you there was a point when you were like oh there is something neat you know there was a point where you at Owen do with this thing where you were like oh it’s medical hey I am I mean and I’m sure is a smart person you’re like well I don’t want somebody in a lab coat telling me why a my personality is different
but the behaviors won’t change and like my emotions on change like I understand everything about it and it’s so frustrating so frustrated taking Wellbutrin what does that do does it’s like kind of even you out like like sharp edges and not like so harshly just kind of takes the edge off of things is there anything that you miss
if you feel zombified by ssris because they completely like take away your sex drive and make you gain weight was the what was the world world Will Butrin is like a MAOI which I don’t even know I have a million questions so that happened at what age in your life like when you cross a threshold where you really I’m going to deal with this and that you’ve been on Wellbutrin that whole time I’ve been on ssris open till
was on them for so long but they’re not didn’t like the effects kept trying to take myself off but then kept having like really bad episodes and then like finally talked to like actually a holistic psychologist psychiatrist to help me find like the right medication that match was like what I was good for my body
so sad like really long process because like your brain is a fucking like fireworks display and like there’s when your 12 years old this person should have cotton balls taped to their skull and it’s like oh yeah I’m sure that would help them behave and now I’m pursuing an agenda but it just seems like I have a I have a problem with doctors and pharmacology and stuff but at the same time like like they would you say it is going through this Labyrinth that you found like a pill it doesn’t it’s not like I’m at the top of my game
if it stays like this for like another 10 years or so I think like
I don’t think I would try like I don’t know like he’s like I don’t know like I don’t know the next that what do you do if you like depressed for a you say like what were you about to say everywhere like I heard that you like like
one of my favorite authors are severely depressed and he did that like he did that after like multiple years but then I ended up killing himself so I don’t know who was that but I thought you were going to say
I’m not going to kill myself. I have plenty of good that would go to work I started 2 weeks ago so that’s so cool like a labyrinth I don’t want to keep questioning these guys in their lab coats and stuff but like
I I feel like when you have clots in your head and you say them into a microphone and then they can laugh or they can cry or they can sit in silence but what I don’t do is the thing that you’re afraid that they might do inside your head like the thing that you would project where they would go like oh you’re a fucking animal I’m going to fucking take you and kill you like like like like like like just talkin just saying it this is very very self justifying of any kind of therapy but I think that’s fantastic for you like it too just like communicate and talk and to your head everything that’s in your head no matter how crazy it is all those Jagged edges you’re talking about like put them out there and then all these people out there like like oh yeah totally got it or some of them are like really wow okay new thing to think about it and like an idiot
it’s like it’s going to be like tonight like we’re any big help but like to come up and say the word depression and no that’s a thing and say it out loud because we all know people like you know like Robin like we met him and stuff and like it like that that wasn’t there was really talked about that he’d like to eat that what is on schitt’s like for a long long time and because of him and what would happen to him a lot of comics and like I specially Comics that I know that deal with depression like said oh fuck like I can’t I can talk about that and I need to talk about that and and that’s a conversation that could happen and it’s not something that’s a fake thing it’s a real thing and it’s a it’s pretty common thing to us which artists and then like in this community so like that
you like the time with no one said that they had cancer but some people just quietly had cancer and didn’t get treatment because it wasn’t something you did you didn’t talk about it so it’s good till like like I open up the lines of communication on that and like like I’m at can’t imagine what that must be like but it’s that’s very impressive that you can make the journey out to the city and we just terrified of scares me to put like a
I’m always harping on that is it likely that the Campbell talk about that bass like the first joke we hear is the game of peekaboo which is like a kid it’s just a kid and they need their mom to be there so bad that their mom not being there is care is the equivalent of death and so the mom did not really realizing that she’s playing on the kid goes like like like it’s it’s it’s it’s it’s Universal doesn’t matter it transcends language culture everything is like Mom’s was little kids they they take to this thing they cover their face and the baby starts to go
I got one it’s like no I understand death like I just spare like the blip the bottoms in the tops and 5th of this entire valves that were being pushed through that’s that’s what it is and I stand up like that doesn’t incredible awesome terrifying loneliness that goes on for the great stand-ups now get out there and I willing to stand alone on stage and expose themselves like that like that’s a tremendous amount of courage in the end to be good at that is to be willing to like follow in that like that’s all Solitude coming out to La by yourself and subjecting yourself to that like who knows if you’d ever be funny but like God knows like you’re already in the right path like it was like step on the gas and that your actions you would stand in front of him
running go to experiment with like what’s the least funny thing I could say to these beef because to amazing punchline was just Mitch Hedberg and like like like like you know
that’s not a bad example because like fucking Greek Comics a fucking day they die young because they’re they’re all over the place artists are all over the place on the back of my check stub for being all over the place for sure like like like like like like like like like like Monday it’s like I’m the greatest person in the world and Monday afternoon it’s like I’m a piece of shit that’s absolutely that’s called being creative I think that’s the engine that drives it that’s not a license to be like I call The LumberYard and go I’m not going to do Lumber anymore Aaron told me
be if I have mood swings I am an artist not necessarily true of creating shit for sure I got asked you for your bullshit and then told you but you said you probably already know but did you not alone there’s this has helped a lot like he is whatever that thing was that I think a couple people are like it’s true
you are my birthday my birthday
that is very very sweet of you and it’s not a different date every year it’s hard to keep track but thank you so much for coming did you have a good time I want you to tell my friends kind of genuine Connection Friends with the big lake from this crowd cuz you’ve been up here in like the first five are going to be
couldn’t put them in the Battery Tech
where you at you would you do us the honor of staying up here
and playing a shadow run with us or Canada
image my grind Ridley impression kids if you’re feeling sad talk to talk to people you got to talk to you like that. She’s not a case in point she’s an adult is like dealing with her shit do and like I said they’re on the precipice it’s a fucking like like you’re if you’re below 35 like and you’re thinking about like like like like the extreme version of the solution to your problems before you do that experiment since you’re about to do that just try talking to somebody just talked to somebody if it’s not I like like like like just give it a shot something crazy like
try and walk across America First in Crazy For You can have you got any other people that would be a logical and save the reason it’s a Grand Theft Auto say you’re about to do it just fucking do one thing first talk to somebody because you’re going to hear it it’s rattling around in your brain it’s not like I just fucking haven’t come out of your mouth everybody feels that way sometimes you may feel that way all the time like you going to talk to somebody about it like if you’re under a certain age it’s an epidemic
well it ain’t taking a hard line and it’s a joke it’s a joke all of our hearts.
Thank you guys
take take whatever pain you got there and turn it into a beautiful artwork for the rest of this week I think at you if you look back to the history of like art and culture that I think you probably find out a lot of people going through something similar and different than go exactly the same people like turning an intense pain into like that’s what humans probably have different than most other animals is that we’d which we take our sadness and we’ve created art you know so
I’m sorry if I offended you it if anybody else
Canada president pilot things down I don’t know what to do with him I have my own care no more. I will be able to read that what about demorge also.
I don’t know who am I with my care
take I’ll take I’ll take can you read it for me are you playing. Do you want to play I hate to play this game I think I was racist
I agree to sponsor let you be the judge is it racist if you’re standing the whole show
no I like you all in black tablecloth when he gets paid to just exist to get get get more check his seat
read me know nobody signed up for a come out right I’m right about now you guys are off in disguise right yeah do you know what happened. You should know what the mission is where we’re at in the mission all right you got hired you got hired by Peggy you got hired by Peggy to find her daughter Jim who was last seen and one of these Google clinics the kind that teaches ghouls how to not eat people so you were going around you saw you said David one or two guards no doctor friends friends and talk to him about meeting
you went back you called a bunch of people and then you decided to go to the clinic where you thought that might be some more information and sent every music over this a nerd in Justin Marshall is he’s in Utah driving back from Wisconsin so he drove their Jesus Christ bad weather
are we we we we we got in an Uber I listen to the last one where I became a southern belle ghoul in Disguise and we’re going up to a zit fresh to Fresh to flash request refresh this one’s called me at 5 to reply to you I’m so sorry I forgot your name and the correct
YouTube tomorrow thank you tomorrow thank you for having no no no we’re not all going to be here forever friends good a friend cuz I have no friends
in junior high if you guys want me to.
yes can she come. Mediate me and drive a lot of shit to work I want to go there, he’s a shitload of can you hear me to get with a three-way can you do we need to work some shit at 20 years and it’s it takes
and word work out for you work out for you
South Korea
like fucking clawed my way out of this room at manhole a broken back can’t actor Gotham
no I never did me any favors.
Me and me wow what’s his problem terajana
I’m offended by that Asian
alright so we’re out front of the press 5 to reflash
I have I have also taken what character you play The Libertines I have made myself into a southern belle as well you have a little music on there just get a little
you good okay now we all look like Google’s I’m going to go to the front door and see if we can get in here
justice justice system as a bit of descent could hold the dark maybe not go with the makeup kit in the right up the personality of his security guard tidy I guess if they’re one of those won’t be a Google then all right behind you as if to present you possibly
okay so I guess I won’t do all the Talking you’ll do all the talking all right so like Tara and I are going to go up and you pretend like you’re you caught us
yeah okay just are you going to eat the same thing that I might grow roses that we don’t take that for me
all right you knock on the door
11 in my mind have I heard such a ghoulish not
20
20 minutes passes
I should probably knock again
are you single still using an active soft v Electronics can I just access the opening of the door oh I mean you don’t even need Electronics there’s a handle, yeah alright you open the
suburbanite I’m still standing with my right hand I have a Chevron Starburst Starburst
was it Starburst or Chevron let’s get this straight we Starburst Starburst before Michelle okay all right you win in room its walls covered by huge flat panel screens depicting calming scenes of nature you see several low waiting chairs in a young man seated at a large circular desk in the middle of the room how do all the Talking these pale and you can see from his clawed fingers that he’s clearly a ghoul he’s got the dead eyes of a ghoul you listening the fucking ghoul
he’s dressed like a parasol my fan I got everything
hi as you get closer you see is dead eyes have been replaced with robot eyes cyber eyes rather I couldn’t help but notice you have some Fiber eyes
perhaps you could tell me where they keep all of the meat look to me what we’re trying to find gem Peggy’s daughter which maybe you could use your cybernetic eye sockets just to show us where would that could be seeing as how we’re both Googles and all I know no problem let me just check the registry ticket ticket ticket so she’s not listed here is their last name or anyting I probably could you check again yeah certainly
take attack attack attack nope There’s No One by that name we’re pretty new operations so it’s pretty easy to see whether or not anyone has come through or not and I’m not seeing that either way out the last name hill hill was the last name Jim Hill yep last couple of days researching your operation pretty familiar with the fact that your spreadsheets to include everything they should kind of looking for a girl that came through and then went out you know what I mean yeah I know like I said we just opened up pretty recently like I could tell told you anyone is walk through these doors that name definitely not here so here’s what I’m going to tell you
like this is the point where you either betray yourself to be useless or useful okay if you’re useful it’s because you’re lying if you’re useless it’s because you’re an idiot all right I got a gun in my arm
it’s going to come out at the speed of light a bullet’s going to go to your brain all right I got to tell Alex he already wants to do a reaction sorry sorry
it’s it’s Rico
you don’t
call job
autocorrect garbage what are you doing oh my God shoot people in the minute I needed is the minute you failed
IRA
well he’s dead
I can’t hear the game master what happened yeah I don’t care whatever was laughing out
every time I he he falls forward onto the security button
I go through his computer or like his desk and see if I can find an Exxon sounds yeah because I would never let the person fall I do a security button tell that to the security button what is that mean say I shot the person died I fell onto the Bell on to the security button I accept that you’re allowed to create a security button
I see that’s why you shot him
obviously you didn’t follow the but he was like do I move them off of the security button OK Google can use his his his detect enemy sense to see if there is someone NuvaRing going on behind the scenes yeah you could definitely you could definitely feel seven or eight seven or eight guards given that I am dressed as a security guard and dad that my Alias would be Frank Douglas that perhaps that you guys pretend to be a goose I have captured and if they do it right we’ll use this as some sort of cover-up such a good idea who killed and we just like for Tennessee
I don’t think he’s available I honestly if we talk later I’ll tell you I regret what I did but in that moment I’m telling you I did my objective was to make him sick Beyond healing. I’m not I’m not bragging. I succeeded he’s dead
I kill people as a matter of urgency of this situation can be multi-phasic so that we could do all these things at once for example you could try to heal him at the same time provided that does not work on the door open sooner he’s dead and fired type of position myself behind the desk in case like people are coming into like to a to overtake Us in these chairs is a potted plant there’s large TV I hide behind the pot of the plants not that big but okay I didn’t say I didn’t say it had to be sure we got we got we got we got 3 minutes what’s what why were we here
smoke grenade flies through the hallway in the waiting room at the Manor barrier fucking start all right so I missed the area but starts covering the smoke
Yep this is doing nothing no no it’s not might suggest for the other costs that they all also fan the smoke and we all do it don’t do it
a giant eagle who is also dressed as a southern belle a southern belle fans all right away from the room is covered in gunfire as it cuts through the area the whole way is Ablaze with guns you guys all your being hit get your being hit though
call stuck in combat since I taken advantage of action at my height and behind the counter I also have my Armour jackets on
being that this route Scandinavian remove the Armour jackets and place it around the pelvis pain goes right up to do we see the people who now you’re being shot at your damaged body call Mike everybody except for the garden is superhuman agility takes for wounds just regular style those. Can you do the Pirates play this item and I have brought to you more me to smoke more potential action for the profits of this organization and you are destroying you’re destroying the prime directive of the building for what you would do you say those things and then you you see a flashbang grenade Wiz into the center of the room in Chinese
hey Ben can I summon there so it’ll be Nate football sense and to the right all right baby you’re Nate I thought Jim Knight blade skills you can’t tell me that I have all these people who knew this was going to happen or vent or egress that I can’t the front door
nimbly kicks
flashbang moments before it explodes down the hallway you guys avoid taking an eyeful of flat nice job story there’s got to be an air hole okay there’s an air vent Appling hook Batman style to me it’s not about abandoning my friends about me I’m going to save them later so I shoot my grappling hook the thing that you’re saying I saw okay I’m going to let you know as Batman would I’m going to go up into the air vent you hit the air vent with the grappling hook and you pulled the retraction trigger and I just did pulls the great off
as fire continues to spread through the room gunfire not fire fire purpose and shoot it into the vent all right then taking it an anchor and get the underneath the office desk I provide the Rope direct line from the ground to the thing if they’re willing to climb that can climb right willing to climb to climb I know you’re wearing dresses I won’t look up
I’ll climb up on you go first you go first to go first to make sure that you know that when we’re climbing we’re doing a lot of this sweepings in to make it harder for us to be shot Serpentine Serpentine climbing a rope avoid being shot at me but if you just we’re doing do we see who’s shooting we’re doing that and it would be harder than that would be harder than not doing that I look around to see who’s shooting at the who is the shooting at the security guards there in this hallway Alex just spread and spread by shoot lightning bolts at that at that quarter horse for
alright you
only yeah I know you only hit three of them you hit three of them and they they get buzzed by the things you see them shaking shaking off their shaking off their electricity is as they you know I can’t talk
distance from of us know they’re just three of the eight don’t you they’re not stunts
when is it my turn sure I leave the obvious lie through the whole way to the bit earlier where I pulled the vent down ya up through the whole come on man right again climbing the Rope is not the do you have a look
I’m cybernetically Hawkins man you don’t have legs though run as the air vents and I got to I need a wardrobe change before I do that
you still haven’t told me what I accomplished I’d like to get up through the vent and look and go up into it I’m a coward alright you take two bullets in the leg as you climb up you get out though taken three more wounds
the week we finished climbing the Rope climbs without any further damage you two are the only ones who have climbed them
so no bullets in the leg will you have bullets earlier you got hit earlier in the legs I thought we were both lying to people climb successfully
no Dan and Rob
yeah sorry I ever bother
no I jumped down
but I got a hoop skirt on it again
hahaha this point is Over. Texas flag
I got your burgers on a bad job
I just start shooting my AR s predator in the end of the hallway I just started blazing away down the corridor to get the rest of the people all right I mean yeah you still being fired at as you do that my rim back no dice there’s no dice out that I do not talk to me if you ever played Shadowrun you would not use those either it’s very he’s a lot of things anyway. That’s a fun is rolling the dice feel free to roll any dicey desire
now you guys don’t fight Eve Liberty pops off a few shots from a pistol plug in the mother guy in the head one of the guys goes down dead
yeah hey I ain’t going to hey guys. Give my regards to the air conditioning system I’ll be down here fighting like a person
can’t hear you engaging in a narrative
how to guard applies Mista, and then draws his hours alphasights rifle and likewise shoots into the crowd all right
you do that but your Mystic armor is already around by the way that’s given
you had another guy this one in the most in his arm your bullet smashes through his arm and blows it clean off drop his gun shit
listen to switch to the Crusader someone else’s chair right now you do that you also shoot someone
he gets shot in the head but he has a helmet this guy so it just knocks him back several feet he doesn’t seem to be harmed I run up to him and I can I use astral beacon on him all right you get torn apart by Machine Gun fire
as you approach a stroke or 7 security guards their bullets rip through your body just carburetor and it’s a pink mist
he’s struggling because you’re the bad person because it having a birthday makes you bad not forgetting it
let’s thank you Margie Brown Take It looks like Keira for coming up with Hera
thank you so much.
Robert Rob Spencer Crittenden on Jeff Davis
thank you exactly audio maniac and then I will be back next week right I think so we are all right