Episode
Episode: 222 – Anne Frank Kicked A Cat Once
Description
“Erin McGathy makes a triumphant return to Harmontown as the role of Spencer and brings the sounded of 20 sided die back to Harmontown! Watch the video at harmontown.com/live Bonus track: an all new song originally made for Harmontown by Colleen Green!”
Transcript
working about downtown X4 Hollywood California
harmontown is not excessive
can I see the role of Spencer Crittenden will be played by Erin mcgathy
and the role of Mayor will be played by Dan Harmon
thank you very much
Stacey has a point of order to be mad at me undies
or not I don’t believe they’re not paying for any advertising tonight but I wanted to dress them I have a problem at my home with my underwear
which is the following I have a I have two dogs
adopted by missmegansky and myself the two dogs are now in my charge
and the smaller of them Nigel
and I want it so I keep asking me undies if I can have another box of me and he’s like that because I’ve gotten two shipments from them and I now I still own two pair of underwear that are functional however and I just want to I just wanted to say that you understand that I’m the victim here if I could figure out how to put it in the camper something don’t leave it on the floor your dog loves you he loves you wants to eat your piss and your shit
I’m trying I’m trying to learn I don’t enjoy not having underwear but it’s just because here’s the thing this little fucker eats he eats when you are around he started eating all the furniture when Aaron and I are divorcing and adds up to do an impression of Spencer or
I for one with i for one would like to hear you try
okay
yeah it happens yeah oh that dog that dog eats all that underwear yeah that maybe you shouldn’t leave it on the floor
so so this little sucker perfect the fabric that was touching where my penis an asshole are because he loves he’s a dog he thinks that’s that’s my wallet that’s my he thinks that’s the think that’s a lock it or whatever they call that flavor country
you notice they sniff your crotch days if they’re going like hello Carl I see you’re allergic to coffee or something you know they’re thinking all right so perfect perfect holes and the trunk are you sure you understand that I am I’m a sick two separate try not to get ahead of me hair
so here is the part where you say Dan I feel bad for you that out of property loss which I’m asking me undies to it maybe they could reimburse I don’t know if the reimburses the right word
bailout to bail out
and you don’t need to go I got a variety pack last time let’s let’s let’s target the boxer brief more things like the bikini style ones are only good for an Instagram now and I can right now in Cotton pair of of Calvin Klein’s that are one-third of the softness of modal are you saying that they’re too delicious the crotch out of my
those people like when the iPhone came out people are like did you know the screen rest and Emma and underwear softness Advocate I wouldn’t even if I thought that was the case I would I would pull back on that information I’d be like a tobacco company I’d be like
here’s the thing so my soon-to-be thrown over a historical wall housekeeper
who is terrified right now and I have the same housekeeper what’s that yeah she’s coming to my place tomorrow plan for the worst hope for the best
starting to Fall River historical wall
I didn’t say soon-to-be buy me a fucking while I was at my platform I’m not a sociopath and a fucking kleptocratic so I can like pathological monster man
I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t run for the dumbest job in the world after failing at 9 to slightly worse was born into a trust fund or was you complaining about how your free under your rescue dog documented housekeeper
you notice I’m not like I’m not going like what about my housekeeper part of the story
sometime after coming from your place to clean my cleaning playlist really shocked that she would really tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired and you know Harvey goldendoodle down in my kitchen as you start to like get like like start washing the dishes
Harvey hate he eat all the trash
he eat all the trash
but that may not harm it would do that once in awhile but very intelligent dog what he learned he learned he picks up his empathic dog Harvey Angel is a fucking disaster you talked to parents they have a favorite kid they documented Sophia probably is
let’s assume so true and is amazingly intelligent to Thoroughbred species of dog breed of dog that are renowned for their intelligence and the other is just a mish-mosh of rescue crap from Echo Park much notoriously Laura Savvy like because because of the broader gene pool let’s mix a Sheltie with a with a with a with a Jack Russell so so maybe your baby hole
you’re supposed to be the man I was having an enchilada today
and I’m sucking it I mean
so imagine when I open my underwear drawer
I imagine this every morning
and the underwear drawer is basically full even though I’m like the crotch and hole in the butt so here I am a man deprived of his property by his
is Mutt and his housekeeper is folding Miele washing and feel like piss she thinks I’m a fucking sex monster
I can’t I can’t have that conversation with her how many pairs how many multiple pair of the floor from me understand I told you I have a lot of questions underwear that. As the treatment done to it are you trying to do think it’s possible that the modal which is a fabric softer than I even supposed to do today
yeah yeah
but you’re saying that you have a rescue dog that’s going around eating the penis and butt hole out of all of your me on these underwear and then, things that you were probably a bad person and says oh this is my job this is my last life
Karen and I said maybe I can sell around the stuff I had a mustache I have the time when I was up for Halloween as from The Addams Family ever seen you happier
except it wasn’t happening
This Magic Moment
you would spirit gum the most asked your left them is just I just wasn’t like a cheese ball thing it was like as a really good much does a living and independent film were the three of us with just hang out and drink and play Party
so I can I use to eat the pussy and ass
the point of this flashback be exact
Sophia absolutely more than two occasions because we were we were doing like a lot of all-nighters and then pass out and find bags of drugs everywhere and also more than twice as Monday night would be like like like like up till 4 and maybe pass out I feel 6 whatever and then Sophia come over at 8:30 Tuesday morning so I’m more than two occasions ottoman downstairs on two different sofas and she’d walk in and the adults realize it said I was coming in both of them sitting bolt upright one of them a woman with a mustache
excuse ourselves and head upstairs in the bathroom sink I would always then issue would neatly clean it and and put it in its case and I put it in a drawer like like
cuz she’s like I get it I don’t get it but I get it I don’t get it. I’m north of the wall
these are not Wild Wings these are
the corrupted folk is there a latest they the best they have to go further to I woke up one morning she left there they worked well you better be prepared if I can hide her and battle to the death I will battle skinheads all right good
Harvey eat all the trash
I want you all to protect your housekeeper’s
do you say about that
you single me undies is a good underwear Cumberland or Worse under a company that the fact that it’s delicious to dogs like my shit and gross scratch the pheromones are delicious to Nigel and I think it’s possible I’ll go this far and say it maybe it’s possible as when he eats when he does that with the Hanes or the the shity the cotton underwear basically they keep returning the garbage it probably was keeps it three times as soft as a copy just like
makes a little circle Yosemite Sam robbing a pirate ship with a straw
it’s been a year and I have some memories with me but for some reason
that looks delicious
it’s like a candy store in that Metro
if I promise I am not cuz I would think that they would have a charter there while they’re how many days have we given him is he selling them is he being jaded as he is he some kind of weird like a guy would take take product and then he would sell it and like no I’m not one of those people you know I could name a couple people that are those people that wouldn’t prove I wasn’t that would just as lazy and I’ve never gotten I’ve done 9000 Mandy’s as I don’t have any meundies I’d never worn them
am I supposed to call up like like me on days and say where’s my where’s my out of my own
you’re not you’re going to love these things I promise you that
actually doing an ad right now
an actual platonic relationship
you and your loved ones
told you leave you hook you up right now we got on this earlier but now that I realize that there that they make dogs want to eat the butt hole out of the hay with your besties like a girls trip going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my pocket adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
and we talked about this thing it’s like I’m trying to rise above okay what’s my job have some humor about it but what’s what’s normalizing what’s going numb ignoring this so okay I got my jokes about this fucking Hitler situation this Hitler Asian or Asian with it with it with it with the band Incredibles on the fucking Pollo saying in the goddamn fucking family of the damn staring into the camera while he
show me ways I I am not a political person
satirists of our government Time Will Rogers
it’s all but I try to keep things light so you make a joke
I don’t have to answer that question your door has been removed from its hinges by
so you guys came here to see a podcast you didn’t know that you’re going to get biting the trench and political satire like that you make the comment you do that you did a joke I got I got a knock-knock who’s there judge did Trump’s as fuk fuk fuk
Mimi on Drew Carey
current election she doesn’t just like sit in the lobby and nbla
really that’s that was the last sighting of her money or jewelry
I hope she writes a book and it just like I hope the title is the whole book is just like if I can yeah I hope I hope it’s called good ggt for like $20 and Coronavirus
and the last picture is just bill holding acorns
question that nobody can really answer that means I’m assuming that bill really wanted her to win in your face
cuz he’s a good time when she caught him cheating on her he was like
I asked anybody that road on community it’s like the the phrase you’ll thank me at the Emmys became a running joke
like 5 season 6 I should not have to bring a toothbrush to work sir it’s Yahoo
I would never close your eyes is heavy Morgan Lucas at least an accidental
is that a kid can you grab I really I really meet Chan you
so far down curious I’m going to go to channel lake lake so what is there and don’t be afraid to tell the truth no matter what it is like not the same as you saying you should feel sorry for me or anything like that just came inside your actual emotions do you do you feel hurt when people just like joke about it that at all like every every single interaction in my entire life is all that only so is that is that is that Troublesome like I don’t know I don’t know if I can like every single experience since the time I was
5 has been shaped by the fact that I’m tall so I’m just going to get so used to it.
Making a comment section so it’s going to be all right to distract from your house yes that’s why I’m wearing this shirt
what’s the name of the optic nerve
because it’s like my son principal we don’t know about that you’ve researched you and you and three guys and a club in London it’s like since everyone only talks about how tall I am. It’s nice to let them talk about something other than I have always been very tall is 6 foot in 5th grade
he was such a baby until his third birthday after a motherfuker with this guy
to tell baby that when he was a boy he was an infant families agreed to meet around him if you do that absolutely do that
Lucas is such a tall baby
summertime
Lucas with such a tub
look at this exit all baby
he was the only
Disney he was the only thought I was the only fetus allowed on rollercoasters
I’m not allowed on some aren’t allowed on a lot of
who is this so tall
that his dick has its own dick it is bigger than your dick
it is unfortunate
Liberty torch
were you followed here by your Blue Ox next year
monster truck
well let’s do a segment called the things the things we should know about Lucas about the right now that was gracious about find out some things about what band are you in I’m not in a band I do paint Universal Studios I am a character a few different things so I’m at Christmas and I also and the warm-up act for the animal channel if anyone has been there yet I’m and mess with gas
Harry and the Hendersons and Frankenstein
this is not a height thing but you would be like you would be too tall is the tallest character the park is Megatron and 6 so I’m just like your policeman if I can do that and latex mushroom mushroom I feel really bad for the people who is Shrek that there was like metal high heels in it so I can sign which is the best cuz you just wear a nice suit and like platform heels nobody fux with you and your friend
good morning in the mummies
80s Gary Numan song Alright
I like
when I went when I was Harry you can see through the mask animated nobody really screwed with you cuz you’re so big and there’s a big latex padded muscle suit and it was a thousand degrees out here. You’re making $10 an hour as the sucking Hardware on a stick in the mummies
what do you do with that I don’t know what to do
tall people yeah
thank you Japanese businessman has to go and then a couple times just take their hand and try to Ram it up Sasquatches but and I was just shoving them as hard as I could run off like I was being a bad Sasquatch
I told you I’ve told the story before I was a Captain Crunch
direct drink either either their their Peak popularity is a cereal or Valley I don’t know why it would make them short live General Mills cereal commercial Cafe was who’s the real Captain they were multiple captains wandering the city of Milwaukee who said they would no choice and and one of the other Camp by Childish story but you’ve also you talked about me and Harry and the Hendersons so it’s recycling night at harmontown captain
no I have the captain and we had the big costumes with the spray-painted mesh mouth where you’re looking out of it we went to Winter fast and they put ice skates on us and they said once you go out there and no and the kids were like there’s six with pillows ice skates Ram these fuckers into Oblivion throwing down a bunch of your eyes in your experience but it was to me it was my Pearl Harbor
what is impressing you seated sliding everywhere anyway and so that isn’t what he’s like with these blades on you’ll go faster
I just got to finish the story so wanted it did the kids kept from farting us and one of the captains my friend
I said I was near him and he grabbed one of the kids mouth is like right in front of the kids face and he said if you skate into me one more time I will break your fucking arm and if you tell anybody I said this I’ll deny it
and I think he was the real Captain
get it out I don’t know if they ever give us an answer but stop at University of currently were preparing for Grinch Miss Grinch Miss
Christmas has completely taken
play Christmas we don’t want to say Hanukkah so it speeds grinchmas and a wee sing Christmas carols Water World Water World very beautiful movie very successful ride and I’ll tell you something I heard what you just said you’re going to be saying Christmas they’re going to be saying Christmas they’re going to love it they’re going to love it we’re going to go down there we’re going to make them say Christmas hugely
call call
ironically working at a theme park the height doesn’t figure in the guy playing Megatron and Harry from Harry and the Hendersons are wearing an ill-fitting bellhop costumes what’s with the tall guy police officer British Palace card do you have
big dick I already mentioned this to my height
cuz my mind is not proportional
legally I’m required to call it a nipple
men’s dick is so not the person to ask.
Are there bears never snow on it
no one ever agrees to meet in front of it if they go
fortunate is still don’t know if I’m circumcised
the regular amount of skin
still turtlenecks around and come to a little brunch Swagger
on this topic
advance tickets so not proportion proportion
what time
I love you beautiful I just wanted to get it on the on the voice is so beautiful beautiful isn’t it’s in the background of three movies
look up media acrylic on canvas scenes from like pixel paintings I recently did a painting a pallet town from Pokemon if people play Pokemon
the great on the canvas and then I paint it by hand with Landscapes like
I told you I told you to look out the window
why is it that the only thing you can obviously we don’t feel quite has some questions about the attitude It’s like because it doesn’t really you’re not you can’t kill a mammoth any better than anybody else really not what I like is it are you faster or are you are you going to do nothing I feel like you’re at your heart’s probably like you know
there’s probably risk in there on a lot of time
and Lucas like being like just shy of six for I’m at the threshold of I can just fit into most like roller coasters and miserable right right at the edge of the country is probably a bummer
I love roller coasters wait in line for an hour to get on the coaster in the middle like you can’t go on and I’d like that that dreaded like you walk into an already filled Auditorium or a picnic outdoor like saying where people are sitting or something and just that those comments like oh God no I know I apologize to this de lovely gentleman behind but I am not sitting in front of you
how much is repo dude going to concerts and stuff like I said in the back doesn’t hold me back from living my life
I love it
oh I know I don’t know how to Instagram Lucas Lee get your free ride is over he’s coming back down
who’s ever Lucas everybody thank you thank you
are you can still see me and it’s all about just this view was like oh yeah
I always think of
3 like a 6 ft 7 woman you’re going to eat you for out your next race I know but I was curious if like if people are women are like a very tall man show me on one of our first dates that you either like you should do something you have to wonder whether the the the like I got a lot of guys ask you out but you’re always wondering if they just want to claim you
Redstone are describing my body and you were supposed you were speaking from a place of that I think you were referring possibly to the phenomenon of leg of a smaller stature seeming to have a proclivity Lucas to your experience with someone’s like this is this is a tall Chaser this is a building Kaiser
a person a lot
listen to look at Ya man not after tonight
I was like okay no more lines I’m not going to celebrate like these demographic lines and stuff but it is still fun to talk about like that it is because I am convinced we’re kind of oblivious to that to that thing of like I guess unless it’s like money like guys get money like like anything else because your feet are shaped like skis or where the guy would be like all right I don’t know probably not like I think you’ll even lie dispersed like men and women who would either have a problem with that or not have a problem with that probably as long as they like the person as well
you and it was like something that felt temporary what if they’ve said you know it’s like isn’t that the thing that’s always being people suspect is not being said I think he might like me he talks about my pal hot my body red hair style love is my ass he loves me he’s always talking about my ass like will it get good assistance he might be talking about it being a particular time I die I have to find my own Shane before I worry about like my like my body and that that takes a long time and end and then I look really bad
like I just I’m just like I have to like to have difficulty breathing in my sleep before I’m like I should lose some weight
or I’ll see myself from 90�� like profile in a Facebook live video talking about Trump getting elected and I’ll be like it’s just looks like a mountain of
rough bunch of leaves shambling Mound World hiding things in him
I got an elliptical in my living room and it’s just literally like sitting there since the day it was assembled just waiting to have you ever used it I literally have not used it I don’t know man Steve how long has it been there electrical Banner how long is the elliptical been there
7 months is how long since you also found a laptop holder so I could play Minecraft while I was on the elliptical thinking that might get me on it before the elliptical
yeah he’s all set up and ready to go I bought you a tracksuit that was part of the whole gym
I want to know more about this track suit what color is it
stormed the stage but as a loving audience so that we could all help you get on the elliptical
between that and fatty fatty two-by-four like a bunch of people chanting you need exercise is like anything to do you know it’s like really you can’t make it to the Cellar Door
I got a I got the track suit was the final thing I was like I don’t have an outfit yeah am I supposed to ask weird like the scent of hash mode exercising is there a currently get yeah
why don’t why don’t my body 6 I was swimming with a 20-minute where you have to do the kick a baby that’s a whole time
Christian saying about how adorable was exercising and it was like it was like a video game where a tutorial when I had to get on the elliptical in order to get the attention of a
are there any it started coming in like an incremental clicker game like like that’s how I collected cookies
is exercise exercise time in Hermantown
we want you alive
don’t forget about your adorable elbow
yeah everybody thinks he’s not going to do that
came out of his armpits shower in a while
girlfriend went out of town for a while he’s been playing for a while. No needs a boys again Carrollton 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
you just burns more calories
all right
reminds me of my own mortality to make whatever I just burnt out back by I’ll just lick something back there I have ways of scrounging for calories that people don’t even know about I find truffles I just find truffles
it’s a damn makes most of his money by being a travel finder
exercise
all right well
divorced twice people people here that want to present you with this thing that you can generally well I just have him come out our friends from from Carrot Top
thanks. My name is Anthony this is Claire we’ve never met but we worked together before
we work for a company called creative about marketing
it takes a strong marketer to volunteer his Tombstone space
vaporized into the ground I’m not going to be at the benefit of a tombstone anyways have a larger Tombstone but I’m still I still want that freaking big ass Tombstone Heather go
together with something called the Rick and Morty Rick’s the first ever heard of that
Instagram account that you can waste a lot of time on and we actually won an award for it from the can lions from can France and international War it so it’s not Saturday me it’s not the end of your getting yet but we have a can lying for you if this is your warning sign up for you and Justin and for everybody at Star Burns it’s working to Rick and Morty really hard it’s like I said Son and me but it’s heavy as hell and it’s made out of real bronze you were saying it’s like the Academy Awards for advertising right as lame as that sounds
but it’s still a big deal
so why do I get one I didn’t do the commercials well I mean you had to approve everything
word for approving things, extensive notes deserve it I’m going to give this to to clinically tall people
accept your award with Grace I’m sorry I didn’t Wisconsin thank you so much you’re so nice that you would think of me and give this to me thank you I’m just saying the system is is fucked
do things like this cuz I need any other Joker to be like but like it was because you guys and because you’re passionate we get to keep doing it we’ve done two different expansions for it there might be some more coming up we can’t technically say but more and when is season 3 coming out what’s going on
ocean drawings
I’m tweeting like I like to get back to work at season 3
things faster than
earthquakes my approval usually get to the way it was already doing
it’s real fun to kiss I can say that
it’s not Cleo but that’s like more than one country yep
what is it about like what’s your marketing people and at the risk of offending any of the ones that have worked with me on anything like cuz I got a lot of good ones like
lake lake lake like you guys are clearly like you’re on your shit thinking about the stuff
I want to ask her I want to I want to ask a question that the answer can like get through to like young people that want to go into marketing or young people that shouldn’t go into Market egg we should hear it and go oh that’s not me
Cowboy what is it what is the highest what is the fancy to say about you don’t like the guy in Chariots of Fire goes when I run I feel God’s pleasure so you can’t use that
what is it about what is just say something 911 everything is over for me to Marcus Market
song bingo in Market to even say it because we’re even like twinkles in Adult Swim’s I you know what I mean I wasn’t just a huge fan of everything and you know I remember my buddy my running into my dorm room I want to want stuff so it’s the fact that I’m able to work on something that has four credit cards to get to Rick and Morty so I guess what I can say is like one part of it is giving a shit and then part of it is like working your way toward you can’t even get to something that you just love in your able to work on it because you’re not going to get it right away or not you might not get it for a long time it took me a long time I’m like Claire who we hired just for the risks were so this was her first job out of school
I’m a brat sorry Claire was at your picture did you put using Instagram that way and that very individual 10,000% a team effort and I actually at the very beginning wasn’t even brought on until like halfway through production when we realize like I was shit we still have a lot to do and this is lunch in a month or whatever it was that it was her idea she is
because and I are marketing a whole new line of work out. You guys going to get out there and do it
Wonder to cook steak in a while
to the sky how you raise it up with your right hand hot then you go down to the left side lift it up on the website
I can’t I couldn’t I couldn’t hear you I was thinking I think you were saying bend over and pick something up off the floor and exercise deal-breaker learn how to listen I got my ears are dying along with the rest of my body how old are you guys you guys dying
definitely can you feel it in your brains and technically dying
Tacoma Duncan Trussell God is a murderer are you starting to forget actors names like you’re just trying to rip your like and then you take 10 minutes ago Rae Dawn Chong
it’s more that I’ll see things online or like bands are like Saturday Night Live been on Saturday Night Live Like I don’t know who that is like oh I already did this that was called in excess and that he really liked the Spider-Man movie
but then you slowly then you start to go like I don’t even know what I’m doing and then you go to a Marvel movie like that is great that you wrote part of it
and I might be in Stanley or just like
I’m actually like it was worse than it felt like it was you and I don’t want them my worst neighbor videos the people that worked hard on that movie The Writers like hearing that they like that I did not. There’s like a couple words Tilda Swinton says when she’s showing in the mirror Dimension or something that I think I accidentally got in there from like a bad version of a seat I wrote like I didn’t I didn’t I just talked to them about about portals and stuff for a little bit. Like most of the movie when I talk to him so I’m not even saying I gave him the idea for portal stories and I was like yeah you got it
show me ask you this cuz it’s something that I’m sort of on the other side now for once because of this project like the fact that you got the touch the doctor strange movie got the right thing that Tilda Swinton said bye because that still make you guys something inside especially the more that I think the longer you for it. I guess maybe you get desensitized if you if you if you wrote for I don’t know like I don’t know if you were like super duper I guess we were Joss Whedon and then somebody was like hey Bob Denver from Gilligan’s Island wants you to write a commercial for Evan I guess you maybe you wouldn’t be less than Starstruck no offense to a probably dead. Bob Denver but but but there’s no way I got 43 it was like it was more like it was like in those biopics when the wind like that the shity like you know like weird character that can you get a break or that like spends his life like saying we should do a corn on the moon or something like
it was like a try it was great cuz it was like yeah I know that you do you know how it was amazing to be on the right these kinds of animal name like an alien in my name can we call it this bad person because Dan said they generally are using you guys for all the stuff that I’m always noticing I’m going like some person like just made that up but it kind of Falls in line with with everything I could never violates the
violating the Cannon as much as it is violating you
dial a bat Cannon
marketing the the tone of course they made pens Stephanie or something like that where you’re just like isn’t just linear. Connection you know what it’s not like I do now you play like it’s like collaboration you guys like fill in with you’re just you’re keeping with the actual like tone of the very impressive that shouldn’t be that shouldn’t be overlooked and obviously some French people didn’t Overlook it
is marketing what kind of Mad Men stuff that goes on coming out there called Cindy Gallop that you should follow because she’s like I don’t know what she specifically done but she is like the like badass woman in the advertising industry and she’s exposing people so like with the can lions or some number of different Awards cuz we won for the entertainment lines which is pretty cool cuz all I can a man that’s what everybody’s all excited about but I mean everything Billboards email marketing Bale have Lions categories and there’s like no reason. You know all you got to do is you got to run your add one time and one R and a magazine in one random country in order for it to be approved and you can qualify for line and then some of these things win because it’s always like crazy provocative stuff and there was one for some headache brand it was for like they’re p.m. product and I
I’m paraphrasing here but essentially the concept was give your wife this drowsy making a headache product and then you can have sex with her while she’s passed out like the judges aren’t necessarily look into like all this is real I wear to this run is this was it actually approved it’s just mostly like and then the right option defense of that one this fake thing win the war but it’s also in a way it’s a fence with that these guys are sort of looked at the creative concept which was raped and then just checked it out so I mean and what Cindy’s doing in life is pointing people at putting every test we can meet at Bass can email an advertisement ask as we rightfully should be especially now it’s just like hey this is kind of fucked up that we think this is funny so there’s things like that
there was another one that was like a fake app it was just it was in this one of the same categories at the express was also up for which we didn’t win but this fake app one because it was it was pouring cached images of Google Earth in like the Mediterranean Sea it’s like oh you can spot refugees and it if you spot one press this button and will let somebody know about it but it was fake like but it didn’t work they launched it like a week before the edge actually went up and the actual app didn’t even work said what was it what was it was it was at Levis or what was the I think it was so it was like a well-intended but it’ll heal conceived at like ad for for a Snickers bar
I don’t think I felt like I am not qualified to actually stay until we went to White nationalism with this last election like I always had the suspicion that that we had our thing going out over here that we’re like the Las Vegas and then we got this open book that we we are dwelling among the the legacy of the promises we made and dealing with the Fallout with our Free Press and and and you know having invented television and then inventing the culture that was based on it having diverted from monarchy and any pre-existing class system into a pure like crazy ass well-intended but totally fucking out of control capitalistic system that that we were over here, working on the shit out of everybody in Europe is like like holding their pinky out when they drink their tea and going like yeah so racist so sexist so out of control
so stupid such gun nuts all the stuff but every once in awhile on Facebook you see this thing that’s like this country just like a woman put the Chinese guy in a washing machine and because she uses their detergent comes out as a big black guy fucks her brains out
and that one reward and one that’s been nothing but have a very similar statue and it’s kind of a different version of the same as it was also kind of like slate Rachel components compared to how color is good protector anyways I hope ya like like that they’re not ready at all was always that we were we were the clumsy nutcases that we came over here like when it was added to this weird like witch burning Colony were like let’s work that out and then it’s like foot-in-mouth head up ass like like burning both get get the candles of being a jackass at both ends and like while everyone watched and was like how to do it cuz we still have a
star background in a case somewhere in a museum but now I’m just now just fucking terrified Wii for 200 years all we did was just would rebuild our own little ad hoc kind of fucking like a little like fucking the shity little
speech I’ve ever heard I never thanked you if you were hired to sell America but near demographic was Trump supporters you figured out how to sell America to you know a certain kind of customer had turned out that was the strategy that works with the electoral system and blah blah blah if you work if your job was just to sell our country post-election like you know how like Chipotle probably had somebody come in and that guy said you need to focus on salsa music to put you on the spot where would you start you’d like you got to
like I do not like like but they can distinguish between countries there but we’re going to leave one country left let’s try that leg like
the merchants to Merchants are going there’s 250 countries all right you guys do you guys fucked up you guys need to clean this do the sake of that sell your your job America sent you as a marketing guy to The Upfront
so the first thing
probably in competition with what’s a the bigger countries nothing against like all these like nothing is Denmark and I really called we got a pretty Kick-Ass Mountain it also depends on what they’re going to be using America for like we’ve got some pretty we got some halfway decent infrastructure like the internet sucks balls but other than that I’m pretty solid highways
that’s how I would have I would have started because I would have started with jazz and rock and roll
before we can sell America we got to know about the Martians what are they looking for are they looking for like your natural resources about that I can’t believe I didn’t start looking for it there that’s where I probably post that I didn’t even think about that first of all. You were very practical and checked and the first thing you did a sweep 273 Nations
I’m a lot of cheeseburgers
everybody starting right now pitching level America under a trump presidency to daily and race the Martian the Martian I mean his question to me about refining a question I’m not hijacking your question
you guys love to watch me be a bad person and you just say here I come
got to get a little bit
call her home a bad person I just act like I’m helping her by saying like okay here’s what the Martians I’ll I’ll I’ll answer that here’s what the merchants are looking for the Martians are looking for they want to they want to they want it to Missouri whatever Martian raised to wipe out all but one country thinking that that country will then be the only country on this place called Earth and their goal is there looking for the country that represents the best of what the human species has to offer Intergalactic Lee their ticket
so I would love to take them out first
alright taking a nice lunch shoenberger
I mean we’re looking at like if they want to keep say Earth is going to be like the sort of zoo out there looking for a collaborator otherwise it just blows up and put like a they put a martian in and out there but they think you’re arguing with each other you can’t agree you’ve got some people thinking that you should put a tarp on your on the female half and you got other people thinking the cars are more important than bullets and bullets are more important than feet like like you can’t figure out your value system you don’t have any kind of skinny to get into the Star Trek mode of like each planet has a gimmick gimmick is like we like or we are just a bunch of static we’re looking for the country that’s going to like you know the next time we’re going to we’re going to blow everybody else up and let the one country repopulate so it’s like their language or culture
history will become their curation of the previous history before then we got blown up next time we come back around those people that country will be the planet and so who’s it going to be why should it be America I think it’s because we have the raw tools to do it if you look in America compared to everybody else I know considering this election was one because of a like from the help of a white nationalist movement I think of what sets America great is our capacity for diversity that we can like point and I know
we are going to have dinner party these celebrities and we’re going to serve and the music’s going to be that has Aerosmith
I’m just going to tell you is I’m fucking awesome rock and roll Stars
you steal their resources
eating I would probably hire more character actors than anything who is the guy with the big mustache from Big commercial by Sabaton on Earth would sound like
it’s not what’s for dinner
we’re noticed a queer Planet but America is the potatoes on that plate because
marketing research proves that you eat the potato first
Advanced Sam Elliott just stabbed everybody
I would say that I guess giving my criteria I would say is Rosie Perez well look we’ve been trying to do it you’re talking about for a long time like blowing everybody else up and taking their place so like we may not be the best candidate for the job but at least we know what you’re talking about when you put when you touch it for you if you pick China you might come back and make there just like we love being China than like half the planet just sitting there so I can go it goes America man America are Chinese food is better than China
need any fucking thing over there at down to the good stuff
Eleni stabbed everybody
there’s only one country in the planet Earth that has murder vans in at 8 America
also ocean look at Aerosmith
we’re the only country that has Aerosmith so fuck everybody else I think we should thank our marketing people from carrots
we’ll keep the award
thank you thank you
Steve is that why you came out to drink to bring a chair at people out I didn’t I didn’t know how to get it but I was happy to be a part of this conversation you’re like a little sleepy hoodie gnome right now
and then he’s constantly sleeping because Steve job is to make it easier for me to do more things
chief.
Are cats funnier than we are right now
I disagree with him completely based on that I would have agreed with him five minutes ago that Steve’s
how do you say about what about sounds
I do not know. Sometime Quest yesterday on the show I’m sorry do you want to take Zeus into replacing Spencer.
I know that you try to shy away from game playing
receiving it just talking about the trophy itself so it’s not able to sit on anything it is it says hang me on a wall or go fuck yourself
now that’s good marketing
oh really that’s it
I’m so happy to hear that breakthrough or do Aaron want to decide what kind of what kind of game you’re playing throwback
evil people enter at some point the old finder
find yourself
Sharpie and quark
is there a last week or is it like an addict this is when when Spencer would say what happened
on harmontown Sharpie and quark
giant Hydra
puzzles and it took them a long time to complete the puzzles but they successfully completed those puzzles and now they have found themselves and the shoe Decor his realm
after walking down an incorrect
surrounded by small objects
harmontown Irwin time on Harmon time
painting small figurine
each figurine detailed Secrets figurines contain
Berkeley
we’re going to go eat your kind of going from recap to wrap up which
just had an adventure and now you’re going to say you learned from sleeping with me
cuz I always start sex by telling them how I had sex with the last time
and just apologizing
will you now and then I go to sleep
budgies constitute a relationship
can you find yourself in a wet room surrounded by figurine I have detect my magic so I did I detect Magic on the figurines
figurines on the far right side of the square root that are shaped like clowns
and you detect Magic on them
magic I take one of the figurine clowns in my hand I tossed the other one to sharpen that I hold weight right right I hold my crown figurine towards his clown figurine and we make them like Kiss
when you making them kiss you see their eyes glow red and you smell something that smells like burning rubber and you hear a cackling
you see SpongeBob SquarePants license character from Cartoon Network I’m ready I’m ready I’m ready
is that a reference to a Spotify
in Fresno right now
it’s sharp Eastern approach this to explorers
no
SpongeBob you see that he’s wearing tattered clothing as you would expect it seems like he’s been through some sort of war or Seas
a guy can you imagine how long it would take a water board SpongeBob
nothing
but we’re bringing it back we’re bringing it back
cuz a lot of these guys I’m sure they get to the wrong anyway we we heard your cackling are you friend or Foe
friend and I pull out my mic my Emerald dagger I mean but I don’t use it I just pulled it out. Sure they’re your friend and still be a good person I’m using I’m using Bluff right now I did I got a blow that that cupcake now
did you fuck things up cuz you to stop
all the figurines in the room including clowns and children kissing and Precious Moments figurines Angels a butterfly all of their eyes their eyes in the middle of the room into a pyramid and you guys we’ve got customers Mystic smoke that we can see through the smoke but nobody else can unless they have a will save of 22
smoke filled the room SpongeBob is disoriented for a second
also doing the face as far as I know I’ve never heard the cartoon but I know that I know SpongeBob
using your smoker as you see on the far side of the room a half door with an intricate lock
the Sharpie you have you have intricate tea
all right hold on
the word using intricate blocks revealing a tunnel that is lit with green light through the tunnel
diving through the tunnel you feel your clothing changing imitation
okay comes up a Pontiac
as of the world rejoice
your friend
add your friend you examine the inner workings of his I put the Pontiac Sharpie into drive and I hit the gas pedal for the tunnel
how do you feel your clothing change your your clothes will Sharpie before you feel yourself your clothing changes into a red leather jumpsuit your shoes become beautiful black I start singing a Prince song
droplets drop down from the top of the tunnel you find yourself in a Darkly lit living room all of the furniture upholstered with leopard in the corner is a man a quiet man
small of stature but great of sexuality
Dudley Moore
I want sell a car so I just save room room
you don’t have to be a car anymore if you want to go back into now
what is to get out before I turned into a person
four life process I use my Emerald dagger to carve my way out of his body feeder on my appendix II pop out and I use my my green potion of healing to heal up the wound
who are you people we are about to ask you that very question
androgynous Superstar sexuality
text it isn’t you realize that you are in the afterlife and this is in fact the posthumous Prince but not that friend Realm
who is laws restricted people for years and years you have a lot of beef against this person that he is he’s a dangerous Prince himself after a prince
the artist nest
formally and then did you ask us a moment ago Who We Are
people you guys about to kick your ass shit
link hands with a sharpie and because of our spell of friendship
well I’m going to Haiti with my magical dick
Twisted produces fermented elephant stick in a jar
disgusting but also Majestic
I tell you I use it I tried going to hit I hit them with it I’m sorry I cut off from the body right so just take the giant dick out I hold it like a mallet
what artists and then I charge at sharp and try to do that I’ve never seen this side of you
mark uses Dodge and he takes no damage and I pull out Emerald dagger in my hand which I believe has no a keen Edge to it I would do any more damage and I as I roll rolling in slow motion like the Matrix pantomiming Got7
if anybody you do
let me have those days where you just sitting there I asked a question pretty certain that someone was going to have his car was happening
I can’t continue are you
in a small black velvet pouch
comes up from the audience producing a small Velveteen pouch you find Dyson them with a keen Edge okay you do not slice his leg but you braise it showing that you are business
where is used when I get out of it
and lest you think
an alpha nerd with a ponytail or for just came up with a much larger equally Black Velvet sack bulging with millions of tight it couldn’t be more or less phallic increasing size okay I cast a preheat to 350
all right hold on hold on hold on
is there is like ice like I just waiting now for like a pilot to float up and put a giant asthma inhaler
on the table
bandanas bandanas Ono
yourself feel yourself falling through the realm of bandanas and into new room
pumpkin
do we have the inside of a pumpkin like we’re inside a giant pumpkin how can a room resemble the outside of a
how well inside a pumpkin would you know it was a pumpkin
you really aren’t expensive
Spencer
and Prince has disappeared it’s just the two of you.
I I I take the pumpkin seeds and I get to artisanal sea salt cookie sheets pumpkin seeds
I examine my
I listen
you Mama
Chili’s near me
Lucas pranking Marcus
are carrot friends are marketing carrots
take as much time in town.
If that’s not a metaphor for the current state of America where are all of the black guy
I’ve definitely thought your marriage and Harvard Drive fast take chances