Episode: 5 – Confessions Of An Alcoholic Mars Rover (8.7.12)

Episode

Episode: 5 – Confessions Of An Alcoholic Mars Rover (8.7.12)

Description

Jeff blows the whistle on NASA’s secret agenda and Dan blows surprise guest Chris Hardwick!

Transcript

hear ye hear ye tell Yasmin I hate 99 to harmontown everybody
I’ve tried to call her apartment to Claire this session of harmontown to be in session please welcome to the stage the mayor of harmontown Dan Harmon
Lego
thank you dear good crowd you’re a good crowd I don’t say that every week notoriously bad at opening shows case in point what I just did the almighty skipper for in steps between fish and breathing reptile
but perhaps one of the most important things that ever happened during slimy sweaty gross thing gasping for air show is flopping its way onto the shore entertainment this Christ
don’t you feel a little bad about how you welcome him
so I ask you again are you having a good time tonight OK Google emotionally I didn’t I didn’t mean to do that the theme of tonight is confession developments later Jeff has a theory that I think is very important for him to confess because we’re both ways me into I would I think it’s more important seeing if it’s a but I’ll just say to you later if the shows dragging later as opposed to now
Rocketship liver on right now
feel free to shout out and we’ll get Jeff started on his
series about what’s happening right now I want to start with the theme of confession partly because our surprise guest tonight I think he’s a good way to start things out and I want to get them out of here because he’s doing us a favor I don’t have a lot of guests anywhere are following guests podcast live in San Francisco months and months and months ago is trying to Comedy Festival in San Francisco and I gamble to there podcast for guys that post it and or maybe there was only two
I don’t know I walked in pretty drunk and Comedy Festival your professional why did you show up that drunk or what
let’s say it was on at 9 and I got there at 8:30 but then I wasn’t until midnight that was part of my whole stick if you listen to the thing I come out and I’m like I was doing a bit I was being my mice my bag of tricks is like I go I think it’s funny you can come out and go like
forever and then I said make a stand-up which precipitated me making fun of stand up in general which resulted in over and over and over again for those of you who are alcoholics you know that the first thing that goes out the window is your sense of Overkill and timing do you become a 6 year old child has just remember how funny it is called harmontown it over and over again when I was a joke about joke that was like pretending to be a stand up and going what happened
when I was growing up was a big deal and I picked the wrong substance still and put it on for all I know but most of this is a blur to me the important thing about tonight story before I bring them up this is how I want to introduce them because I barely know this guy I was on his podcast once I’ve met him twice. He was here last week cuz he was finishing a podcast upstairs here at Middletown with John kricfalusi and I happen to bump into a ruined your podcast do it however you are in it then and I took the answer because you’re a big sloppy drunk shit head and you fucked up the whole thing and it’s terrible prude
if that was his answer his answer was
by the time we started being ready to release it yet that Chevy Chase thing happened and then then that happen if we waited for that the cool out and then like fired it was no point in time where I felt like we’re doing this guy a big favor by airing this episode
he said that it was like you’re a good guy showed up in the green room and I said how quick can we get a possible and I’ve already betrayed him
but I wanted to make sure my introduction was fitting because I want you to know because I don’t know that much about it I only know that about him that which I think is a lot he’s a gentleman and a world without gentleman I want it I want it I don’t know what we’re going to do with him let’s just talk to him maybe Chiappa theme of confession Doug Benson
Walter White I just presumed
hello Dan Harmon
Beaver campus
sad now that’s a thing from community and it’s so sad now it’s at the colors of bell peppers like the book Hot Zone is it that you were confessing tonight that’s good that was a night that was a nice that was a nice trip do you miss meeting apparently I can get out well actually, no one misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and black Cinema each week
I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film Earth-like ever you’re always in good hands adventures in Black for them up with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda field new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
the truth of the matter was I was worried that because you were making fun of stand up right which I know is a comedian and the audience was way on board with you at first for their there’s a point until I introduced him to what I called the ruling and, date
which is one through nine really funny 10 through 15 wow and then even more hilarious
I took of you a picture of me I look like a frog
like a toddler photograph from a Sears Portrait Studio because I was learning to walk
grinding your junk into the stage going back we will do this and why people do this there was no subject it was and so at a certain point you know a couple people are like hey and I just didn’t it was not at all about race or nothing you were doing was actually about race but I just didn’t when the when the Chevy thing broke I didn’t want it to be another like TMZ or someone go and look at this
Charlie Sheen for a most exhilarating three weeks of my life and I was Charlie Sheen and minor scale make it about something that it was never about it was about you making fun of us cuz he came out we did you didn’t go on a midnight it was but it wasn’t early bottles of Grey Goose I don’t know you like to do for fun and celebrated and positive and supportive and you just didn’t want you know I just didn’t want the wrong person to take something that they read in a headlight out of context and say
Harmony this is like I was just the fact that you have in your eye when you’re looking at anything makes you one of the last two gentleman and a horrible waste land across my mind I don’t know but I was like I was coming out of your mouth that courtesy expected to see a guy right now in a giant bicycle I felt I felt like we were going to put your pinky out when you drink in the cape over the thing was just seems like to do you like you had enough problems going on back then I just didn’t want to I just didn’t want to admit it was very difficult
extra set on the table and people Lean Back people lean forward you know the audience is Mike separately and audio levels on live shows are just very hard to to normalize so that that was actually other issue so it really it really really was a couple things there was a really fun show and I’m glad that you did and we’ll have you back on those are hard to
add a podcast to add to really get the the sensation of a white man humping a stage for himself people here know but it’s a classic it’s sort of a classic stand up you know when you’re making fun of stand up, do you say things like men and women are like this in San Francisco and New York
The Simpsons have the classic in years after everyone already got the joke
he’s watching he’s like true we’re so lame or whatever and it’s like and they made you know what day is so that is a classic stand up making fun of stand-up joke but I didn’t want people to misconstrue what you what it was actually on your show and said 7 to a recorder thing I don’t think you can go ahead Let it Loose my deals are closed and CBS and fox so yeah you know heat vision and Jack was I am so drunk and it is your fault
backstage for 5 hours after 5 hours before you came out we should have just brought you out I had line
I just said that to get a laugh and I didn’t get it but I know that my girlfriend after I did this after I did this debacle it was was it was after that that my girlfriend Aaron who came to San Francisco with me and watch this whole thing she was like I might have been a little bit of us
Chris has a silver used to drink them are pretty uncomfortable around no no no it’s just a reminder that I made the right choice I think of it like it I don’t even remember I have I have flashes of like how we used to be that guy, but I thought because you come up and I’m confessing that I ruined your podcast and I did it because I’m an alcoholic and I was wondering if you and the Green Room I said like in classic sober fashion maybe you have a confession a couple drunk that I can do
you a couple drunk confessions one is sort of a cool story bro cuz it doesn’t really go anywhere but in two thousand one I went to London and I was visiting I was just went to London for a couple weeks cuz you can literally drink everywhere in London like you can drink a museum you can drink at zoos like everywhere is just as alcohol I had a problem with like wow I really fit in here like I knew I had a problem cuz I was just all about all the time and and Zach Galifianakis was out there shooting a submarine movie called below and so I stayed with him for a couple days he went out one night and he was with these the other actors in the movie with he’s like pretty schmancy British actor types and so we went to all these underground British club I got really fucking drunk at about 3 a.m. somewhere in London I tried to hit on Bjork
all right! What was your first move staring at her for an hour and a half
play mythologized it’s weird subtitle with a brush script font appears
so you know I was I was I was basically just like this must have felt like it was like 10 minutes but it really was like an hour and have all of his friends would like if we go and I’m like oh man I’m only going to make my move and she was talking to some other people and then finally believe and I’m like okay I’m going to do it and so I walked up to her and I tap her on the shoulder and she turns around like this you know just look in Albuquerque and and I have to go to ask a question and she sees me to buy verutum on hundred percent error
it was such a failure and then like I have to like walk wait forever for this utter moment of failure and we wind up going back and you know hang out and I was sitting on the bed and Zack videotaped me being really bummed that I totally struck out with Bjork
are you saying her by name and that in my in my drunken state of mind that I had this moment that was a total the coolest person I’ve ever talked to it in my life up here to the perfect time to ask I hear that story perfect example so why aren’t you still drinking
what is wrong with that
think of it as a comedy show do you give us a second one and then I’ll let you go to dinner with
is there was like it wasn’t any specifically that any one thing happen is when I look back on my life was like back then I had been on MTV in the 90s and there was a sort of unspoken curse like you know like you probably won’t do anything else after that and the business with less forgiving for crossing over like we’re like being what people consider like being an internet personality now he do and someday that’ll change in the process of changing and so chunky and blotchy and I didn’t I wasn’t working and I think I just kind of looked at that sort of like yours the landscape of my life I’ve never had to go to the hospital except for one time I jumped over a fucked up my foot like that was it
never wear leather you fat and in leather pants when you try to pick up York
I think in in my drunken mind
going to blow me in an elevator that never happened and I never ever ever happened and so I think I just you know I was I just kind of get the truth really like sincerely I just forgot to point it wasn’t anything specifically bad happen but just a period of my life was just sort of like a dark ages where nothing really move forward and it just kind of kept getting worse and worse and I I just thought you know right when I was about 30 31 I was like you know I can’t stand this path that’s fine I’m not going to blackout drunk but nothing else really substantial is probably really going to happen in my life but I also realized why I have this crazy ability to to focus on something like I’m clearly addicted to alcohol so you know what if I can refocus that maybe I could take this demon that I had and figure out how to spin it in a way where I could use it instead of denying that I had it so I did you know I go on okay
you know I did and then when I quit then I realized like oh yeah I had all these problems that I wasn’t dealing with and then you know there was a little. Where I you know fix the brain go like we first question is do you know alcohol like I am meeting I can’t say yes fast enough is because of the game if you say no you’re an alcoholic
I like all your in denial huh
yeah I just I just I just click the blue wire we’re right away because 85% of everyone is a dick 85% of people than you meet drugs so if you’re drunk and you need to sober person 85% chance you’re going to have a fucking bad time by percent of them are dicks in a sober dick is somebody who gets as much identity from being sober as a drunk gets out of being drunk like you met them when you were drunk you met them when they were drunk like they there alcohol in their life, John, I’ve been trying to find Jesus
talk like this
but I never knew you were sober I walked out because I’m definitely not someone who looks problems other people have their own path I just don’t fucking you know like that that’s just how this is how it is for me I just don’t tell people I don’t judge people that way
King Kong but I love criticism of the podcast you should really know like Dan walks the line when people are lining up get suggestions talks of people there’s a very there’s a very communal thing are you enjoying your time here at therapy I can do therapy I can’t do it what do you what do you not like about there but it’s dumb people
I just flew on stage flying cockroach flying cockroach
the hair stood in the back of my head I thought somebody threw a frisbee therapist got busted I thought I was going to get the fucking murdered by the Bell Curve pterodactyl minimal requirements for degrees that’s an argument for shamanism
drunk fairy
can we kill a crush
oh my God oh my God
looking destroyed like it’s 50s radio
can Ferry Farm
Jesus spoke into my name and then she shows up
she had a fat man leather that you were going to become that’s right she didn’t know that Chris Hardwick thank you Dan Harmon thank you Jeff Davis

thank you Chris
delightful I can’t think of a better closer at it I don’t know how to close their I told her I would come up because of who you are
I don’t know anything about him and they suggest that he’s like a knight in shining armor he seems like a cool guy
immediately on the leather pants thing if you’re really drunk and you’re you’re putting up your I can hear at a low point in your life you probably also are fat and have leather pants on it anyways just call Chris Hardwick section of a harmontown was brought to you by Nike
yes all of harmontown is brought to you by the top-of-the-line Comfort fitting top Adidas you piece of the Nike we’re doing this for free for Adidas Paradigm. Telling you that this is the most perfect shoe you’ll ever wear in your fucking life
putting your foot into a uterus of comfort
pick up a phone Nike
I’m paying as a dime we just decided to fucking love them Nike stop advertising Adidas
give me Greg proops and get Spotify, a young one of these bulshit hard numbers this feels terrible with Erin mcgathy what does that mean has a podcast
just with your throwing money away we like Nike and we’re going to have pillow cases on her head
where can I watch the kids on their foreheads
we’re going to say that was Nike’s idea
confession so Chris Hardwick was very very gracious to tell us about his former life as a fun-loving drinkable he can fax them things things that he was embarrassed about I’ve been going through the stack of our audience commissioned a list of things to talk about Adidas write check confessions check mustard butts a lot and dad was talking about like people in high school that are like a silly name right like I said if you had a name that is just one of those things we’ve talked to invite we talked about this on the in the show so if any of you have been here don’t feel cheated now that we’re podcasting
out point
now it’s on the record I don’t know what that means I don’t know why I’m so racist
why is everything about race you’re fascinated by because I was brought up to not be racist because it’s like your job so here we go
the reason I’m fascinated with race I think this is my defensive my fascination with race and racism
so you thought I was going to say is that there’s pins down there the reason why it’s a sport and not just a thing that you do is because these gutters the gutters represent the state and take by default what happens is you your ball rolls into the gutter and you don’t you don’t hit a single pain so you have to like thread this needle with bowling and communication with culture and stuff I do I set with with with our perception of what race is and what racism is obsessed with it sitting by the gutter I’m fascinated by the fact that if it goes too far to the left it just it just goes in there and that’s the default response the guy that owns the bowling alley the right guy is a guy just making all the money off of us reading this needle is he laughing all the way to the bank and is that the right Bank
where you going with us
if that’s not interesting you guys you deserve Jeff Davis is Mars bring it up
any person
what’s the gutter
The Gutter represents the fact that it
alright alright alright Travis become downright mutinous
telling you something
$2,500 to the anomaly so Kickstarter I go drinking with me and Gino and I’ll tell you all about the bowling metaphor which I just landed on I just made it up now it’s fucking perfect I’m on the side like I’m going to write a book and I’m not going to share with any of the prophets you’re not going to get a free copy and I got to get everything cuz you didn’t support me you backed a hooligan
and my friend that was brought you by Nike
my thoughts are
do you buy Nikey shoe in a dark world of crappy cynical, world put your foot in it I think there’s a mouse in their Nike bulshit guy that stepped on cockroach Adidas
just don’t do it
what is your beef with me and Mars were talking about the Curiosity I can believe me you know I want to I want you to tell people cuz I’m interested in you stop me if I’m wrong Jeff Jeff has become convinced since his tour of the JPL facility at Nasa where he thinks isn’t most of Jeff stories of those of you who are a hardcore Harmon Armenians you know that when Jeff tells a story there’s a theme
don’t interrupt me to fill it to the Jeff Jeff Davis template of Storytelling Jeff goes to a laundromat and he puts his shirt in the washing machine and a and a beautiful Cuban woman is like watching him and she comes over and she asks him why he’s putting his shirt in the washing machine in quite that way and he explains I don’t know I don’t know I just I thought that the shirt like needed to be clean first and she puts a hand on his arm it says thank you I’ll let you take some it back in and reduces our family and then it’s just boxing blue
does Jeff Jeff Has the strength I don’t think they’re false I didn’t know things happened to Jeff the Jeff falls on his adventures that it kind of revolver and his personality is he get it people trust him in the they open up to him and they want him just like them and figs so Jeff went to the JPL facility jet propulsion lab is that what that stands for seems a little uninvented for rocket scientist friend to go to the jet propulsion laboratory and I was at or from a guy that works in a specific about his job but I think that he was going to get in trouble for saying too much so suffice to say I go to the everybody can go see how you can see a little Mike mock-up of the Voyager probe in the Cassini and stuff like that and stuff and kind of a little bit behind the scenes like this kind of on the regular tour because I work on such a program
I think last night at 6 Cecily landed on Mars and
Graco I didn’t back then it called the the Mars science laboratory like over there
gigantic thing about the size of Prius and is going to be meaningful to heavy by backhoe shovel on it and giant wheels you know about like 10 to 12 Min. Coffee table we’re going back there with a purpose like the married
is a little more intense in the people very nervous so now that thing that I got to see a little peek out also very cool and very human and made me so proud of humanity is laying on this titanium which is a good old proper crescent wrench just some dudes Rich Snap-on Tools you know shit
Howard’s a little younger actually I thought he works for me fly spaceships and stuff is very cool. So when the cameras turned on fly spaceships in trouble I was walking to the sink and the holy pictures of all the spirit and opportunity controls the joystick heat he sends math that flies probes and things are okay right around Starbucks
how do you say these things out but maybe one day that I can get people on Mars because of what I think was going on in this conversation when you were there and the cameras turned on the first images were being back to Earth and you did nothing was going to work but you guys are all scientists you’re all you guys watch Sci-Fi movies like I get you currently all Scifi fizziest when I can return. I want you all kind of holding hands with a Snickers rapper and if it goes yeah I’ll be lying if I said that wasn’t the case I had to like what did you see and you just kind of his eyebrows went up but he just kind of blushed a little bit higher what did you see
listening to us right now
little place next to the dumpster where they smoke cigarettes or there’s no cameras but you think you find diamonds with the fuck is going on up there and he was real bummed out and he walked away from me and his face it turns like plaid he was so it was like really bummed out and nervous about some really want you to stop.
let me go to the building and we see the stadium they’re building a giant Prius with a huge hole a backhoe shovel on it like they’re going to brush on it a Subterranean Colony martians I am sorry I don’t mean to bore you assholes
I want to interrupt your fucking Radiolab
interesting that’s where we I think there’s ice under the surface that they have to actually really dig for and I think they’re going to find when I’m hoping they find is evidence of like microbial life or something like that was some kind of Life maybe still exists or at least at one point because it wouldn’t be Life as we know it cuz the atmosphere is so low I be irradiated and stuff like that I think they’re going to go up there and maybe find out that we are not the only Arab spinning around and having a shuttle come back with a rock that has all fossil of like a little Reba is basically going to look the same as an Earth let me know but it was on Mars 17 billion years ago that’s a big deal it’ll forever be like a Gemini you know it’s like
I don’t know what’s up there what if there was a little tiny underground people like like
giant sized rocket retro rockets at the size of the Empire State Building girlfriend Verizon’s like trading on the NASDAQ at people are shooting everything’s going good thing there’s little people on Mars just a little dudes in line class like Kevin Pollak and and Willow
every New York stupid like dropping a girl off after dinner so I can I have a kiss
changes like the spirit of opportunity when it broke down I want to find out that I got Gulliver travels
they tied it down to like what are these things and then like we keep sending these robots and then we find diamonds the reason we’re going back as they found a big book of Sunny Hill robot Prospectors up there and then I’m going to be alone I want to have beers after a while everything turned in a billion dollars to ship them back and forth
automatically adjust have beards because that’s insane like from Treasure of the Sierra Madre and confessions that was just a random burst of Technology yourself
we talked about Mars but I want to I’m convinced I think that harmontown audiences are the best games in the world for those of you listening I’m not prompting them to say that to do that because I’m pushing the envelope of what we can do what we can ask about I said cuz we asked them questions about your job and I’ll try to think of a confession just to get the ball rolling hardwood came up very gracious each other safe place for human beings have you done something that you’re ashamed of you know and you’re sorry about it maybe that should be
resolvable I’m trying to think of something I’m really embarrassed about Jeff and I were talking about like just realize that we told teachers and stuff like that we’re pretty we’re pretty criminal-minded. I was I was a really bad bad person because every one of the fuck you want you can beat anyone up I mean think about it like weed that’s what you we draft them into our armies like when your 18 that’s when you’re old enough to hold a gun and like and like to charge at another nation’s 18 year olds like we are scared of 18 year old wouldn’t use them to kill people we found a place to hide them very very clearly like like you need to keep it cool brother like you need to be like your reward awaits you later if you learn how to act properly and I said you think that like young people
because they’re not because human beings are bad when they’re younger but because we put so much emphasis on training we young people are sociopaths because what they learned for the first eighteen years of my life is that the reason not to do things is that you’ll get caught and go get in trouble there’s no emphasis you have to self learn and I think only 15% of us do learn later oh I shouldn’t do that cuz I’d be an asshole most people spend their lives going and I wish I could do that but I’d get caught that’s why we’re fascinated with Mafia movie serial killers and stuff like that cuz we like what if I could you all have it within you and hopefully we captured some I want to hear the dark stuff some dark ones in here know that I could have resolved you of it okay I mean but could have priests ever could anybody ever can you ever I could have therapist ever but also hearing it anonymously
maybe you might save somebody else here tonight so let’s hear it was here a couple highlights comment or not but I threw a bunch of fireworks off all of your in this room that one because it’s about race so I’m going to save that one was my first kiss it didn’t work because I didn’t know female anatomy and was just pushing my boner into her pubes
that’s not a crime that’s got it at desk all day actually if you keep doing that long enough it’ll work so that’s basically how it works
you’re already absolved because that is the fact that that’s a confession means you pretend you do and that’s your job as a brother
that’s the best you can do I ended a four-year relationship via email
the crowd is spoken on that
I can’t I stay saved this is why I didn’t want to do question because I’m not good at answering
they don’t try to give advice so much as just put yourself in their shoes like like like like like you know like for instance ran over the neighbor’s cat and didn’t care hate cats
all right now we’re getting deeper actually it is amazing because you confessed it so you so problem solved this person still hates cats yeah unrepentant feels bad like a serial killer saying I will kill again I do that like I’m begging you
I wish I had pushed my cousin down the hill in a dog crate
sounds like a story and ended in a terrible mishap I have the chance to do that again.
Goody goody
do I have an STD

parentheses team won no symptoms but haven’t told my past partners and probably won’t tell my current one how do you
all right well
email says the young lady
yeah I don’t know we’re not we’re not dr. Drew we don’t know but it’s like a cat, but he has no symptoms of herpes a big problem that’s why he found out he had three people in this room have herpes this is a size two guys don’t show as much symptomatically so guys I’m just saying to you if you’re 19 years old thing like like like herpes is like a it’s a little bit of an epidemic and it’s partially because guys carrying around and you need to get checked and stuff that’s all that’s on my doctor juice
and she’s in the front row said via email this written
confession ends with a a frowny face emoticon I think you’re probably right about that because every time you put your dick in her you’re putting a gun to her head and playing Russia is not confessing that he doesn’t give a fuck about whether cats live or die he doesn’t own a Humane veterinarian hospital in constantly You Hate Cats and you own a veterinarian hospital so you need to put a little sign of your bag Also may have herpes to the girl she’s well here’s a here’s a better solution have her give you a hand job until you get checked
I tried I tried I tried to make it easy for him I don’t know I’m trying to say is that I did that says that’s a Tuffy Man is Hard to take a pill it’s gone that’s that’s that’s the end of it or not you’re not pretending to give advice here in a cell is this is us about getting things off our chests are they still hitting you
I know I just have to ask it
presuming that people want to be anonymous about these if any of you if I read one of your ass if you want to talk about it you want to talk it out then I want to talk to anybody tasted my own come
anybody never tasted you
saltwater fish taste like salt water
it smells like a paper mache but I feel like I feel I feel like I regret being racist at the age of five after a black girl ate my purple crayon I had to be convinced by my mom that quote not all black kids eat crayons
I will say if you’re going to be racist but probably the best stereotypes
Muppets fan the Flames I one time told my Asian friend to open her eyes only to realize they were already open
Jose is Andrew Dice Clay in the audience
it really happened you were probably kidding whatever differences why is your why your fingers do a different and separate you don’t it doesn’t really register an old on the level that we perceived phrases in artificial constructs and what we call Race like Blends into that shit until our parents get involved it passed down from their parents and anyways we just trickling out I am 39 years old I’m talking to a bunch of 25 year-old you guys are already bored with me like being obsessed with rights which is great it’s a rotating a way I like it
when I yell if I walk into a playground of these days I look at these kids playing with each other it’s different now because some kids are different now there was a mess I’m a different abilities some of Dino summer some maybe you’re better looking than others maybe some get higher grades why are you going around looking for a better looking kids
I’ll tell you why
cuz I will fuck a kid
that’s my confession
move delicious Highway to Heaven episode not if you don’t know thank you rob thank you for the offer for one person at 40 and hear the TV show of Michael Landon when he played an angel and came down to earth to solve problems and it’ll work again without turning into the Hulk and was being bossed around by my football playing roommates was using me to steal computer like you know like that the answer is two tests and things like that and so
I turned thirty two or three maybe and I’m at my computer and somebody sends me a link to something I hate check it out and it’s it’s all these screen capture is of me when I was 12 and Highway to Heaven because all the pictures of me with my shirt off at my goats for the URL the top of the thing and I can erase all the information of the of the of the jpeg in the thing to find a website pedophile website
and it is a link to guads if it’s all it’s called Forever 14 if I remember correctly guys check it out
Gavin search for Jeffrey Brian Davis adult actors when they were young so they could have Corey Feldman and Will Wheaton is raining out of the closet sticking to them in their Prime
that’s the forever 14 guarantee
keep calm and tell them Nike Center discount code
Forever 14.com unless they give us some money relations about it and then it stopped in like 2002 so like I don’t know what it was like before double came in past my Prime and and there was a conversation like to have him come over to mow my lawn I’ll teach him a thing or two and I just felt his hand like someone walking up behind him putting a cold clammy hand on your shoulder and I can’t imagine what it’s like to be a woman no man possibly could because it’s too it’s not cuz I have a hole over there supposed to be
take me to Nike structure at night like I just felt violated by by everything I once had a little boys computer conversion
if you’re getting away with it. You’re a hero
I wish I didn’t sit through every episode of the cape
all right now someone else in the same room I’ve never watched Firefly
Megan Ganz wrote that will reveal themselves to be fired if I passed actually seen it the most revealing a shocking confession of the mall I just cuz it in its Simplicity I’ve heard a lot of people but I feel worst about not feeling bad about any of it go to pass right now
how do you know that afraid of getting caught and that’s the only take to drive to what’s the most shameful thing you could say that you would just be like mostly related to that I think the most shameful thing I could say is how little I care about other people’s lives you know like I said I was in the bar tonight and I saw that there was another fucking shooting I didn’t know like we made comments about it and we talked politically and psychologically about it before the end of the shooting in the secret Temple of the Wisconsin was it and it was just hot on the heels of that last asshole in the movie theater and the media coverage were talking about whether or not they should have given so much attention to the Joker guy and Mimi Mimi Mimi Mimi Mimi
General were supposed to do I get off on bar stools and run out in the street and stopped traffic like in a Spike Lee movie and say what
we’re humans but I don’t think that other people exist and that is my most shameful confession I don’t think that if you care if you started to care that other people existed you would you would you would get absorbed by them and you would never be alive in some way to qualify you or that creates character is in right shows about people on four people
my question I was thinking a little boys
I confess that in the hopes that we all go through that but I’ve known people like our friend Daniel Gillies who’s vampire heard about Katrina happening in his car and drove down to Katrina helping people so you went to a neighborhood where nobody was helping looks like one of the neighborhood the government was helping people get a dollar you have to go over to the line in the future Elijah from from The Vampire Diaries is Australian or kiwi
I could have everything they want me to be a motherfuking breastfeeding baby on his tube that comes into your living room light I don’t have been I’ve been in confessions like the guy that confessed the cat thing they’re going to cut a couple of those were the theaters like when you’re really confessing it it’s like and I don’t I don’t believe that the confession helps because otherwise I would have confessed it a long time ago a confession is something that you don’t want to be true use nnnn then we’re primate so if you hide it long enough it goes away cat ships on the carpet dries turn to the crumbs blows and the wind take your shity underwear put it in the garbage that you never shut your pants or forgot
play with matches mom doesn’t catch it never happened you murder somebody in the body goes away You’re Not Guilty but so confession is over no fucking resolution that’s the thing okay maybe that’s how we slip I’m just stumbling into this world history in 10th Grade the Catholic Church invented this concept of they would sell you Absolution like they put a dollar value on it that would be my next step is I would say breakdown of slip of paper will read it out loud tell it to me or me alone give me a dollar I’ll get you now it’s done now it’s over now you didn’t do it. Compassion work maybe confession just needs to happen to just bubble it up and just becomes a froth like a zit on your face into a white head but maybe honesty stays the best policy a week we confessed stuff that doesn’t lead to us not having done stuff I’m still a shity person I shared it with you though it gets it
you go to the front of my brain I don’t know so so so that’s it for now wait until we move on to it because this is important I’m making this commitment to harmontown. Com website going up
I’m going to put on the harmontown, sometime between now and the next show I have to make sure that Jeff and I have ruled first level Dungeons & Dragons characters advanced Dungeons & Dragons characters
I guess I have to specify first edition well okay what will okay sorry buddy
the saddest confession of all cuz I grew up on just a d and d with the old school. I don’t know where you want to come up here for just a second just to answer some questions it doesn’t age
y’all mean
what is your name
Spencer Spencer everybody
I got to admit I’m eating and he’s a bit before my time but I
I’ve read the books I just haven’t played it too much has happened since 89
9/11 happened
why didn’t care who is it better than third is it been getting better third editions probably better 4th additions to EZ better than fourth okay I’m willing to take that as a core of it all right to generate first-level characters for Jeff Davis and me and then we’ll put them on what is it sometime talk to me to Tacos after the show the upload them have you been to before yeah I was like before I was coming here I was parade
he was abused
I was just reading some stuff today actually who better to start with this new segment to find somebody that people will play like 15 minutes segments with them it’s it’s not that fair but either is American Idol I mean Radiohead wouldn’t win American Idol they’re worth it then we’ll start playing D&D Mitch Nightblade or whatever your name was
the honor of speaking the same class of the characters you have to name them will name the doctors I have no idea what’s going on I’m I’m all for it with your satchels and your Dice Masters out there in Los Angeles and I think all of them listen to his podcast
I know all of them
printer
I trust Spencer to say Third Edition is the way to go I don’t know man when I was a kid it was you know there was no but there were no additions and there was my dungeon Master’s guide had melted wax on the inside cover and like I just all kind of notes in maps and cuz everyone felt like we were this close to worshipping the devil it was punk rock it was cool
all you people care about us fucking Inception that’s all you care about it
that’s that’s your judges Dragon think about it
Paladin that’s mind-blowing
a dream in a Dream It’s a six-year-old could say that
Dungeons & Dragons we had one abortive attempt to try to play as adults and it failed miserably also crappy golf with Matt Gourley yesterday and we invited you but you’re playing Minecraft I don’t see the best I can explain that now he’s under 3 Hour podcast
Minecraft 1.31
all right we will see you next week we’re going to get this settled thank you for coming
you got the people that thing I can find it
let’s pull them up I should have had that if I can find it right now thank yous hold up
keep it down will it be all right if we want to think Katie Levine probably recording Zach McKeever or text Emily Camacho podcast producer thank you so much

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