Episode: 72 – Jib Jab Squeeb Squab

Episode

Episode: 72 – Jib Jab Squeeb Squab

Description

Rejoice! Kumail is back and joins Dan and Jeff on stage along with comedians John Roy, James Adomian and the entire front row.

Transcript

oh yeah I’ve been that kind of marriage you guys are hard-core the ring Union
time for the five most magical of words harmontown is now in session
please welcome to the stage everybody
warm welcome
all right you got some guess who got some guests tonight I was at the creative arts Emmys tonight did a little presentation with the Joel McHale I don’t think there’s anything to talk about there was this is fun at the Nokia Theater on the FXX Network FX is now clear than FXX Network you think it was just sort of like I was just start another thing like mtv2 or whatever but it sounds like landgraf who’s the genius or the 4th of the few suits that I really respect and love John landgraf over it effects here it’s like he’s moving all the comedy over to FXX that’s what I’ve heard and that he’s at cuz he went to FX to be associated with like their dramas
were there and that guy is like really of the and Nick Rod the people that other people that work at FX like they are true scientific demonstration of the fact that it’s not just bullshit when you say hey just like be creatively respectful to the creative and stay out of their way like like make deals with the people you want to work with and kind of like date me they they pay lip service to that philosophy and they executed they they only help they they they they they say Lacroix give me a ton of money we can do whatever you want here and look at all the programming on FX is fucking amazing they went all kinds of words I don’t know whatever I can’t I can’t suck their little wieners enough
now I called him little wieners and I wanted the colloquial eyes a little more and then accidentally said they had little wieners and now that’ll be now that’ll be the quote in the headline and Harmon Bashas jams flip flop
took a shot at Harbor Jam shoes
I got my professional wrestler just say things
yeah well I need to eat it I had to eat it either put a fork in it
30 at 4 Euclid
what’s the difference between a G7 Market or whatever the opposite of to wear the eye Harmon to the Emmys on a stage where you going to be needing it up there I had to I do I set up here you can’t pick and choose you got to where the IR mean you going to make it work right miss it while I was away for a couple times at what am I supposed to do was a teleprompter anyways congratulations to everyone
there’s still gold in the real enemies are our next week Network it’s a whole network
Hermantown is just one of many feral audio programs that was mistaken assumption that we were the only podcast there is no no choosing to be part of the Rebellion we chose to to to to be part of the alliance it’s in in hopes of taking down whenever the Death Star is I assume lack of listenership
what’s in it for you and me and Hunter has paid for his service behind solo write this celebrated pussy Han Solo from the end of Star Wars is the one who’s going okay I got my money that’s not sure it was it now he got his Bounty that he got his money the top of Empire you guys don’t even know they just sat there like a which one had the squeeze guava. And I don’t even know you were talking about who did he Moline which which which which weirdly racist CG character are you talking about we describe I don’t know and my day there was flesh-and-blood on camera
click here to hear the the real audio from the jib Gemini Javon newest Brethren at the Pharaoh audio network of like he’s out in their appropriate very very very like super talented funny guy does like incredible Impressions like you start of you probably haven’t seen but there’s that show Marc maron’s do it just took WTF his sort of a line from that and then he’s doing is IFC show Maron and then they did this thing on the web called Maron space where James Adomian is playing Marc Maron and it really fucking funny
it’s based his partner who produced that with him probably wrote it on a wheel asking for the details but he has a podcast Network it’s called don’t ever change and we’re going to bring him up right now talk about his name is John Roy
call John
doesn’t that make you want to take a while but my interviews are even worse outside I’m in bed but I’m interested about your podcast never change it I haven’t listened to it yet but it says specifically you have guests on and you talk about the person that they were in high school that we’ve had that we buy generator on be at my Rush on Patton we’ve got our kind of coming up with you sitting on funchess comedian she’s talking about what they were like in high school with their town was like what kind of feel of that and then any weird stories like Jonah Ray got in a fight with a Samoan guy the Samoan guided up falling down the stairs without doing anything and then they get expelled Jonah from my school like it’s like weird stories like that has to do with on the football team so Jonah had to leave the school because he fell down the stairs essentially so it’s like weird stories like that would be the guy that beat up a Samoan
I see that the defendant but I got to the top of the stairs I don’t want to hear I think you’re finished your Walter White up three guys from another gang I just she was Samoan to the fight broke out H-E-B f303 and women who all did that which one of us is he talking about like he won’t say the name so I guess
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little t and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film earth like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
if you’re listening and you’re Samoan and you’ve and you’re not a bad ass like feel free to write into the show and go like this is an offensive stereotype for making good Headway into a Roddenberry vision of Tomorrow we’re such a pretty soon it’ll be not okay to say Samoans are badasses but whenever you hear the word Samoan it’s in reference to somebody beating the flight
how does a quarterback or something like they’re they’re they’re Unstoppable their Juggernaut people traded or at work like a human tumble me or whatever you want to say I am a very very mild I got to go meet Rick Ness has also thrown in there like happy people who could beat you up and aren’t they’re going to hang out and have fun like that that’s part of it it’s not like it’s not like
if you’re if you’re a scrawny clumsy mean lately and effective and you’re Samoan we’d love to hear from you so we can get ahead in the arm’s-length bully classic bully thing and you’re unable to punch that guy away in the air then yeah that’s what the people are just people and I can’t believe it they going to shovel on the wall
that’s the way to do it I think I tell you to repeat myself and I are we page about our tape Jesus Christ and no tape was ever used ever in any bike at but I’m 39 for everything at 6 to really recently we just started it we started all in the new studio so we recorded everyone up there and Burbank and it’s been great. That’s my studio thank you did pretty good man pretty bad bad like you don’t really know it says zero profit industry
this is my first move is a without the money part in the middle I think you can make money doing this. There’s no no. But yeah you know a lot of the people I would say over and every now and then you’ll get one anomaly like Jay Larson was like the biggest stud of his entire school and he’s also super funny show but I’d say about 4 most the most part you get a fairly unpopular guy who has learned all that shit didn’t matter when he discovered either music or comedy or something and then by about like 25 or so he’s pretty cool and now he’s home
chicken is it people that are destined to play guitar or paint something well or make people laugh their brain shaped differently therefore they’re not as fast or is it just like somebody’s got to be the dork and it’s you therefore you’re going to end up drying apples better probably not the latter I feel like there’s certain personality traits and skills you have to have to be funny and you can get the impetus to drive you to get those skills in different ways if you are unpopular it’s like a defense mechanism like I can’t beat these guys up but I can make one of the teachers do I laugh at that I think I have some kind of anti hours and then maybe he’s got something as you is you learn how to get this funny thing go inside it is a lot of ways that will take the guy with the aptitude for it there but if you said something right now maybe I’m going to laugh in the same go for
male and female Comics we are just about to have our first female guest coming up we’re going to have by Emily Gordon on so that would be the first opportunity to be like hey
we learning just Boys Club crybaby in the room in his ear phones so that’s that’s kind of this question has been very delicately trod on territory is like me like you do you know, for the mail, to stop and I just felt like from me the mail class clowns were rewarded for it the female class times were punished for it like my junior high and high school too kind of wisecrack for some reason I don’t know where it came from if it was everybody or right in the top down by Victorious I will I’m going to ask that very question and then we’ll find out that she’ll be able to really bring you’ll make up for it for 10 dudes interviews with her but she’s like she’s also trained in the whole thinking about that stuff the right
play they might be a lot of times our pockets is like what is you eating Burger King off talking all that shit in Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich oh yeah chicken sandwich
I like to attend stories were told at least it made me this is a generational thing ever changing it now but it’s like as it has been the same as like like guys are total don’t change your mind about anything that argument with guys about liquid so you said you hated The Matrix
email socialized despise you can change it to Matrix now I don’t know what the fuck I don’t care to make it a more fun argument Colonial Heights
all time that adjusts a little like that are you but I’m generally right well I think that’s why you I think you make yourself right now you pick you up the worst and I’ll tell you why and then you just you just plant the flag and then you’re not going to you’re not going to stop until mustard is illegal and I thought you just you just do it to to do it
I think in the past I would pick things like you say and then it would stick to them for no reason I did do what you said is is that like something I would just pick the diametric old thing just to have that sort of get that thing going whatever that is
Kenny Rogers
the camera pans over there’s like a cup of onions I finished wiping his mouth with a napkin
I watch my country go from a few
but I won’t have anybody selling a little Fletcher’s name some ways that I can convince anybody that they don’t actually like Rush, glad good man because it’s because Hitler was technically a good chance of a sex out in sci-fi which is not
rock and roll with sex with Elvis’s pelvis and I will take all of the reason this music
has Russia Russia has been conceived to save to a restaurant
in fact in fact my sperm can I just got lower bicep
his mind is not for rent honey not tonight I have a headache
I think I haven’t technically, the author totally hates Russian Churchill goes at getting in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame I will not listen to my all my favorite Rush records and then a minute later he goes done
High School magic my first dungeon master for like from different states that had state parks cuz he left he left nature he wanted to be an elf for like Spock like he was one of those personalities the pit stains like like like I died and went to high school with a woman’s briefcase and and too cuz he was like
but like bad ass like he gave and received Zero Effect
do you want like the Columbine kid dictate you want a reef back in time and go it doesn’t matter like Graham was one of the kids that didn’t he knew it didn’t matter that I bet that’s the personality presented it but he loved Rush
I love Denim and rush and yeah they were going to sign your yearbook with Rush lyrics and
he may actually love them so much I would that would be like I would be one of those diametrical guys and go like
like right now. That would be yes absolutely fuck off and forever
I’m sorry I thought I was talking about music but you play Michael Jackson Thriller song is that Vincent Price to do I don’t know if you knew that price the actor or Vision price from Thriller
I don’t know if he wants to do the Thriller Bridge it’s been so very long
it’s James Adomian everybody
that’s one of my favorite Impressions going to guess this is Vincent Price he did it in in a Yacht Rock episode yo yo yo yo yo I’m rapping rapping with my friend Vincent Price going to do the rap Benny’s going to do the bridge nice first I’m going to talk about my favorite cereal yo I like to pour it into a bowl and eat it down drain the milk
we just made cereal spooky
I don’t know what else to do there
Impressions and stuff but I was I was a local sub Place had you had Vincent Price on the on the payroll and he would go to court and a cheap ass Photoshop pendulum would cut the sandwich in half
voice ever actually considered scary by society as a whole landlords from the moment to tell that voice was terrifying really used to believe in Vampires I think it’s what you didn’t have to be like ripped in order to be scared and I got to realize that the really scary thing is physical fitness and I’m a gentleman. I like the smell of your blood just like that guy you can take down with the reasons
I used to be out of fear of people like Bela Lugosi that’s scary really through a modern lens babies getting run over in parking lots like I got for each and I didn’t put them there
Jesus
videos I mentioned
Chinese baby parking lot
look for and I do
now there’s horrible things that happened lately if I typed those keywords in I’m looking at a video of babies being run over in a parking lot and they’ve been that has been that way for so long in the population is so high now and there’s so many countries where like at lake lake lake China has different rules by the way I guess I’m just not a parking lot full of babies that people as a Bloodsport like like what that might be a thing I don’t know I don’t know why she wasn’t working
this is horrible shit you can see that are overpopulated and that don’t have Good Samaritan laws you know that anyways
price have to say about a Chinese baby getting ran over nothing appropriate
my one son
my one precious son and Garfunkel
can I come under the carbuncle have been surprised I know you’re my roommate was hoping that we could take the Department of Water and Power
but my car doesn’t work can we go to the grocery store together
I just we need to get some Sudafed and some maple syrup you mean some pseudoephedrine for you or else I have quite the Elixir roommates oh my God oh my God it’s making me drowsy
I hope that’s the first episode of a lot a long series of Vincent Price of my roommates in 11th and Q or is that too late let me do an interview with Marc Maron real quick yes
so I just got home thanks for having me on your show
yeah you got to say married in space is fucking amazing thing is really really really funny like I was talking to you about this Elizabeth this will sound pretentious do not La people who don’t like mixed up for a living and other stuff is like we’re up here in each other off while it’s your your your impressions I think that look like cuz sometimes people feel about impressions of the way they feel about magic it’s like what what do you do really true what are you doing here just do you sounded like somebody but I think there’s a do them in as soon as strange tender way like you right up to your ear when you’re doing Mark Valdez the muscles of yours how he talked me made me mad like a year
create a character for him I don’t process
impression being gonna be like okay congratulations you figured out that you know Nick Nolte have an overbite like like like but that’s it like but you I feel like you’re your characters are a little more loving you like tours Army but I was trying to ruin him but yeah usually fascinated by four good reasons and then it’s just fun to sort of being that person when you’re in your head you’re like you got a little simulator running like you are the person write a little bit cuz you have to know what they might say no matter what happens if there’s either a conspiracy or old matched its guard him
so if I were to Jesse Ventura or my roommate and I needed him to pose a real crowded Apartments
I know but you said you you dude we toured it together when we decided to sign the lease tonight at you haven’t paid that you’re part of the electric bill yet you mean to the Department of Water and Power I want to know how high it goes.
You’re half as 1750m I have a 1750 and then we don’t why are there only two parties
2/2 with a check man it’s like like I did you go to work this week or Underground
defensive when you say that I was just I pulled down here I need to know my business
alright Jesse Ventura
I don’t I don’t think so like a lot of impressionist it’s fun number that I can do a little magic
what do you think of impressionist like I have friends that I have a couple friends I can do impressions of almost anybody and it’s great with the reason why it’s fun is because they’re funny the things they say are actually like your gear at being funny while saying them Rich Little for my money isn’t very funny guy.
Frank gorshin ever had like he was actually funny Lancaster was a fucking around cuz you said funny things like that’s that’s a difference like do you like piss me off is I would go on the road as a comic with these guys who would do impressions of people who are already funny they were comedians like Rodney Dangerfield
how much respect do you think that you get
are you know I get a little bit of respect they have for a minute there
Clifton is Rodney there
I get I can do I can do some Impressions you can do
Liam Neeson we found out that you lost it I thought I had them give me a while
I don’t know why ask me ask me a question about wolves
the wolves are they nearby but doesn’t poppers their bug there by
the white you alright alright alright
you know when I walked into that
there’s no sandwich. It’s just full of bites I don’t think I have someone that I’m like a slam dunk
I think I think I can pity the fool and put something on my head but that’s more of a prop work kind of thing just turn your voice all the way Cubans shouting all day
do you listen to me Rowdy Roddy Piper
now it has a gray but instead of Liam Neeson put Jesse Ventura in there as a star of the ground but doesn’t matter how far along we are
this is also Gary Busey
we’re going to use it
do Johnny Carson doing a scene from Streetcar Named Desire
back in the old days we would play a game you get high and then you would do what we called plausible Carson episode and what it was during the actual run of The Tonight Show TV like we have a great show tonight with Martin Mull from the hit movie miss your mom is here beautiful young singer Dionne Warwick is here tonight and Anna from from Lenny and Squiggy Michael McKean like people that actually could have shared it Carson Bill and they kiss and the game is over when the third name is said when no one can make can do it anymore. That’s like when the game runs out I would play that my mail with you
we play a game called Death that we started doing and they were all playing that with
especially the people that are mailing things to each other and if Brooke born in the envelope so excited too much later I’ll see if it works and then you would draw him dying somehow got in class and I was just like back and forth in school and by the end of page we have these from school but if 30 million would like really get more and more obscure you can’t repeat it so didn’t get really weird so now if Matt males me 1 lb a guy and a fruit cart weigh in the background oranges which of the Godfather reference
about a fruit cart for sale I know if that guy don’t ever change and James do you have anything going on we can wind and down my whole career
more podcast serial podcast
all right look we’ve wasted too much time Jeff we got an old friend back that people are very excited is back I’m sure where they must be excited fact
answer cuz I’m sure people love with here in for me about what’s going on in my life but I I really I swear to God I got nothing because I’m so excited to come back
that’s wonderful is what I have some Moonbeam I miss doing the show so much we never really we never officially said did you were part of the family was over that’s that’s probably why you’re part of it cuz you’re very low maintenance guy just came and it was fun Z came back and we just you know that’s how I like to do my business by the way I just like took place to fill up your role and then DND pilot hello Tyler
yeah I was I was working I was
what are the show is leaking
hissing in the back of a floating slowly
more impressive because I know it’s just for fun Instagram photos of Paris and Rome and Florence right sending my ears and it was sort of getting to me like I was by my temper was getting short and then I just really really needed to God never been there and it was amazing you give me a lot of like Great Clips Camille emailed me and said hey I’m going to be in Paris like tomorrow yeah you seem well travel can you give me some tips but I don’t have any pair of stiff but I will forward this to grapefruit grapefruit sent you an email like really like the it should be published
go to Paris and check off everything other than go to Notre Dame at night and have a cup of coffee at this place Oh Daddy said it was okay it was all lowercase no punctuation just like beauty beauty beauty is happy you have to see this but it was it made me want to go do it was wonderful
sandwich place I almost cried from the sandwich in Paris and so we missed Breaking Bad and it was Monday morning we were bummed out cuz we were out of the country this is true the fucking Louvre for the Mona Lisa is and has been there for hours were sitting and I look over and I’m like
Vince Gilligan the creator of Breaking Bad And while she’s Googling it I go over I’m so sure I’m like hey are you American
I was like are you Vince Gilligan
I want to let me guess you love Breaking Bad

yeah I wanted to get away from the Mona Lisa of TV shows I can see the boy looks at him goes like I love this.
I never got a picture with him cuz I had my hands were shaking when I was. It was awesome but he was like a great dad and I was at invited to like this TV Guide showrunners dinner or something cuz I have that it sounds like the only place I never ever get to meet him because he was technically the other took a picture with them I don’t have a story like that but that wasn’t me that was this person that was this person he likes gives his whole team the credit for a guy like was knocking knocking it out of the park on the is is it is pioneering the Golden Age of TV
I saw always anticipate what do it when you really admires a 12-foot I really admire somebody I always still picture of a giant fat mountain of a person with a huge beard with squirrels in it and an articulate and he was great and
okay I drop 3 weeks I was gone I don’t know there’s a homeless guy BJ walk up to almost no Fanfare he just got here a few dress somewhere between Jesus and mrs. Roper from Three’s Company want food so you’re late to the show but have
call to come right on stage
beach beach
travel well I don’t know I mean I don’t know what time travel would be improved the power of time travel you wouldn’t think
yeah the awkwardness would be you would be sure not I saw you at Comic-Con I saw you on the sidewalk and I was going to say it was him but
it’s like lately like a person
are you going to call Justin please in Barefeet lake lake lake view run for your money, not start or Ali Kemal space right now is like what the fuck I go away for 2 weeks yeah
and I’m happy I mean no regrets is anybody getting good Instagram to post of this in the line for a for those who were bi-curious later on and started BJ is 808 PDF
alright we’re okay
is it what would you like me to say cuz he won’t give a straight answer you want a million dollars he won the million-dollar prize happens when you win a reality show
okay you won The Amazing Race you did well just say yes or no
you and the economy and everything and everything has changed you at all
please say what I want to do is I want to call the showrunners of Amazing Race and be like this but you did
will you go if you’re always as BJ probably you were this BJ on the music race much less BJ in the past really you are rounding up the edges a little bit back in the old days Clark Kent days before I got my superpower is it true that is his own kind of superpower
that’s Plan B are you really do you really have a PhD in theology you didn’t answer it you did it I’m very good at dodging questions about nice to meet you man up some kind
I’ve got it. I don’t have it on me I don’t have any pockets
get the pink fairy did you just say if you give it to me I’ll leave
I’m going to get picked apart on Reddit for that comment did you go with
the football is it going to be
is that vanilla
well
PJ PJ if you’re going to be that specific in your clothing and you retire that’s it’s funny that how soft spoken and I’m busy with you on your replies you know you’re talking to a million-dollar I guarantee you he doesn’t have a lot of that left right that money goes quickly right it’s hard to keep it I can see your wheels turning a question you say something
how much is a money do you have
no deer like leaning This Magic Moment
here we go I’m walking to Pinkberry
I think I know what I’m going to get okay I walk up and Chanel
says to me take a look to the right there’s all our choices
so many more choices than I thought there would be
apparently I was at the flagship in Fairbanks
you got confused about the choices
in my mind we just cut to a second unit out of YouTube in a convertible on a country road
are you guys going to go find out if I owe $1
the Hat on a hat playing music while BJ’s on stage on a hat on a hat
that is an indictment
evil in the land of BJ’s the man with two hats is King
bring Aaron up he’s usually the BJ like handlers
hey sweetie
steak umm Ali
share a chair I’ll grab Spencer’s you got mine get a paper towel or something happens literally every time I walk into any place
air-to-air Jackson BJ
how’s it going
pretty okay I guess I’ll be there and I used to do it together can we see a little bit of
can I see a little for a while I’d like to see a little bit okay don’t you want a situation okay I guess this is enough of a situation
turn hey hey are you okay
pretty okay I guess
theme
can we do notes now or after the show was he like when you guys were doing was like with very similar to the gentleman
unless West Geraci maybe I know
BJs BJs BJs of BJ
Aaron call Dan BJs BJs super smart and great car by the way if you want it I would love that
I thought.
The Earth looking for a lighter
close messages
original Mike’s
gearbox
what’s a spear into this pin
I can’t wait Donuts this car can do
train only goes forward
don’t have them now when I say jokes cuz that’s a birthday tomorrow is my birthday
quarter-century club and I’m excited about that and I’ll talk to BJ I will do my best
yes go ahead it is vanilla I’m not afraid of him he’s just like you
Adam Goldberg stuck his finger in BJs Pinkberry Edwin everyone went Adams response was to say I’m not afraid of him
power moves by the way not in the sense of the heliocentric body the Sun
like Sunday
10
different type of data that only Dan can hear me right now again we just keep bringing people after you and I can leave.
Play Tyler Tyler go up and share Adams Mike Tyler kind of the stage when this happened I don’t know how this happened talk to BJ
I heard people talking about her and how you been at Midwest Aires
one step ahead of you
I feel like this is like the Muppet Show
Gladys Knight in the Pips come on out
I try to leave but they keep calling me back in April 1st
I’m at when I came to harmontown DJ and Erin both every Everybody in the front row just come up on stage everybody just come out
hey what’s up guys
all right all right
now what if he blew everyone else in the audience his mind we had a perfect dance routine a plant that I had a pretty good so we hit rock bottom or we’re just we’re just about there then everybody everybody everybody
Thank You Scientist on BJ Tyler who else was up here Lauren
it’s always good when they drop by questions for a person none of which I really want an answer
I haven’t hung out with BJ few times we play some catch phrase back at your place and stuff and that he’s a great guy I would
costumes at BJ’s back completely different outfit
I thought I heard someone mention being ripped on ludes and he can you get a visitor’s please don’t take her please don’t take a picture
all right but now this vacuum that happens when you come up with and it’s like you know like what I can do that. Do you have still have a big chunk of that money I just got lots of money you do have lots of money do you do everyday
the cat food
where are the best also brand of cat food
man gets by BJ
wake up in the morning BJ this morning I woke up at 7 a.m. I had to move my car it’s a Chrysler LeBaron
it’s red it’s a convertible I don’t know how to put the top up outside
the fact that I keep forgetting to bring the Frog time I come up here but it’s back there if someone can grab it and throw it up here will take your word for it do you have frog tape wallet or Satchel probably exactly like people people in general I like people I just don’t like when they asked me questions and tell me stories
did you come up on stage when you dress the way you dress me don’t like questions that’s a terrible
choice to make if you get three questions to BJ
got like that to try to crack that nuts to try to get inside the shell if they did it to to to learn something about major yes okay but when was the last time you cried
the last time I caught him I cried if you think you don’t answer yours
Ulta I’ll be real I think the last time I tried was breaking up with my ex-girlfriend it was like how long ago it was like a few months ago
do you want me to if you are comfortable yeah I did cry looking at some of the paintings in the Louvre I saw this one and it was his gorgeous huge I didn’t even look up the name of the painting of the guy cuz it just didn’t want to look him up in the people that like oh he’s a hack you know I wanted to have that experience but it said that it started the moment when I was like 5 years and he was like the last things like I’m done and it’s just beautiful big painting in that mode where he’s like this but I did just really you know these people like doing all this wonderful beautiful stuff it was very effective affected any kind of like I was just like yelling at Aaron tonight about about yelling at some kid on the internet about you about yelling it it’s only about you getting yelled at about yelling at at not being appreciated
TV show they’re making a butt
like I’m not like a butt and then when I saw the statue of David this is true I went saw the statue of David it’s beautiful is huge and perfect is beautiful and then this is true I saw that I read that he had finished sculpting good at the age of 29 and his true I logged the phone wireless at the Museum and I canceled my pre-order of GTA V
for real though I will say in your defense
yeah it was a slab of marble was was a video game David is my GTA V you’re right I’ll just shoot him killing time I went into the influence to the zoo feed the official Gallery with my UC building a room after room after room after room after room of just the things that you were allowed to paint back then was religious themes you just see Jesus and Mary Mary and you just capturing the moment of inviting
go basically do paint everything else and then you walk into a room and I think it was first approved for more than like that stuff which is naked people that weren’t in the Bible which is leaner like punk rock is can be as you walk in and you see a naked woman with Sprites and cherubs and stuff isn’t Jim and nudity and I just like plopped down in my chair and it was like like hearing like like what like do you like to go to Seminole rock and roll record would have been if you listen to Lawrence walk on your life never mind the bollocks playing like I said it was an older woman and a younger woman and everyone three of us like after sitting for 15 minutes looked at each other and we were all like not crying and we all looked at each other and just give each other look like
Jesus Christ I felt like yeah yeah I know we just sat there and saw stays on pain of a half finished and what made me cry and you can see out of print on it and it was the most beautiful drawing I’ve ever seen and it would happen if you can see he just gave up on it and you see the David there’s like six other huge marble block that DaVinci never finished I mean so it looks like these figures are trying to escape from this place if he was commissioned to make this is true that the funding fell through so when you feel bad about like a guy who made a great movie you like
the guy who made the Statue of David
get is next at 2. So it’s like six of these and it’s all like these blocks in this characters like that he’s sort of car but not finish the escape from this place if I’m wrong but I love when Geniuses describe the way they’re Geniuses like Bobby Fischer what we way he talks about chest High cuz I have to removing the excess that’s the thing is that if someone if I was a guy who was like give me a pic on sculpting he said that you don’t have to be a dick about it I like it I want it I want to talk about how passionate I am about like you know if your head because the biggest dick in the world Community episode 4
communicate those the Rapture like of the idea that that’s already done and that and that you’re do lately cuz you get to participate in The Ether of iodine Beatles think it was already there and look at you you might be a hack like a middle-of-the-road guy like in Pittsburgh about how to screw in a light bulb without getting electrocuted may be doing the Sistine Chapel like a different different kinds of iodine but like you’re it’s all part of this like you was getting like Splats it is like mostly frustrations mostly in completion as I can
I arrived I I’m a sperm cell that got an isolated by this egg and someone else gets a baby I’ll just blessed I never I never thought about it that way it was
yeah you and you episode 72 Dan Harmon realizes what art is and why museums are important but I was there and I was having was having a real connection to it real and I realize like music and thinking or things that you can really get someone in the split second I just grab them emotionally writing which is what we do that when you get it like crap something inside you no matter what your background is in he just like have this Enid Reid resumes I was kind of like a little bummed out seeing all this stuff and being like I’m never do any of it is amazing that it resonates I think the ones that you should take away from it as a pep talk as an individual created another is that you’re you’re a tuned enough antenna that you
that that brought tears to you is a good sign you’re not supposed to not supposed to walk in there and go like this find out how I hold up playlist
give me what you got
different plans for us and for solar panels for mazing the helicopter the jetpack AIDS he designed AIDS and no one will acknowledge that
nothing is sacred
what place did you seem to be a frozen in the emerging on unsuccessfully what does Rich fuckers we’re betting on though that’s the thing that makes me happy about hearing but they have finished David is that he had the balls to walk away so they thought they’re like they leave they probably like that on his craftsmanship was like oh and then you fucking did that cuz I saw that David and I was all right everyone can have one great day what else you got and you see the 15 chat with you
also this wonderful there’s the recipe I got there then that’s the one you see a lot but that’s like 150 of the whole thing painted upside down on a curved surface things that we’d absolutely two-dimensionally like they don’t look curved and they still look 3-dimensional Services heard he he stole a lot of that stuff from the Sistine floor and a lot of people don’t realize it but it’s Christine floor gorgeous perfect rectangle
then go see the Mona Lisa which is fine and you just would have heard the Mona Lisa and I don’t know don’t feel as bad about some of the comments that people make about me online
yeah yeah yeah
I thought you were really small I wish I could make it better or something whatever people said that to me cuz she’s smiling or not I can’t even tell
yeah that like really know she won’t she cuz I have one word for you Museum of Jurassic technology
hey do talk like a microphone

do you like playing with that have you been to the Museum of Jurassic technology I’ve heard about it it’s not real like that real Jurassic technology intuition why do you love it in the roof no check out the roof first when you get there and he will give you some pic Barry and give you your next clue
not everything is The Amazing Race bro he cried last time I cried the answer will be absolutely unacceptable because the answer will definitely because I’m working on community it’ll be because it while I was breaking the story of my about my show about people going to community college but I cry I cry when Storyworks I just it’s not it’s a it’s like I’ll be going like a really embarrassing sometimes like like good from in a room full of writers and then like I’m I’ll go like well it’s like you know Troy has to say goodbye.
remember what it feels like for us to finally something that is not yielding and you know something that because stories like like when you’re when you’re working on them you’re working on this thing as I’ve talked about that it’s like oh it’s just not it’s it’s kind of like like like like like like like some sappy movie about a kid no horse or something and it’s like the horse doesn’t want to eat out of the kid’s hand or something cuz it’s like this week was miraculous moment when this thing is behaving properly because it’s finally chosen you and it wants to do something or like like Jesus fucking Christ I’ve been late like the pain that I’ve gone through yet you like like it’s an emotional reaction is sort of like just salt water squirting out of your eyes whether whether what you specifically broke broke was truly sad moment about a character loving his father
make a fart joke they could really if it clicks it kind of like is an emotional experience for me
catharsis yes just yell anything up
crying up here and you just guys just connecting dots verbally
it is I guess that’s what made me cry but that painting was that moment when it’s like finally is like I’m done and that’s what you’re talkin about is that moment to do but we’re like oh I did something and this is it just works and it’s beautiful B plus whatever episodes of Community going through that process every time there’s been so many wasted tears so good about something that ends up being like I shipped it doesn’t work you know it’s funny like like like we cool yeah feet of this thing which is Con sus
Jeff do you want answer about crying
I cried today right before I came here I was I cry about musical movies like weather like, by things like it strikes me as incredibly singular I just get really like overcome by stuff I’ve I’ve always want to sleep will I get if I get yelled at me I think Dan with the same thing looking to start falling you so I cry happy more than I cry sad but I cry happy all the time today does the song, she by Charles aznavour Elvis Costello covered it and oh yeah and there’s a lyric at the end of that that’s just like I can’t get in my apartment and I get to the end of it and I just can’t even talk I can’t sing it I can’t even make me start crying and what it is it’s just
beautifully written and it has a little turn that it makes a shishi shishi when he goes to meet me then me
I’ll take her laughter in your tears and make them all my souvenirs and then when it becomes about like the effect that she has on me more about she and every time my songs to sing in the shower is like that all of a sudden I just have to stop and stopping a music overwhelms me all the time that always makes me cry and Warren Zevon Warren Zevon was going to die of lung cancer 3 months to live in is it before I buy the world it’s called the wind and it is it’s so beautiful cuz you can hear that his he’s very weak and he has such a great life he still at peace with it like when he did the press conference to announce that he was going to die in 3 months he said in his press conference he said I just want to live long enough to see the new Bond movie I hear they’re taking it in a New Direction
no pressure one song called keep me in your heart for awhile which is like it’s not like I had a really crazy memory for lyrics I remember songs I learned when I was a little kid like I did like musical theater I know all this I know all the letters a b c d song that’s what I like those moments really like hit me right in the old and it wasn’t until the two characters were gay
at that like changed my life I was like I guess I’m not so bad cuz it’s true like it we grew up very homophobic and stuff cuz movie I was like okay this beautiful people do whatever the West Side Story on TCM like a few months ago and I cried like openly alarm my place but not that one of the fat socks at I want to be in America
you know why because of the fucking good number Bernardo and the music is great and like a good little things like that that really fucking came together there’s a bunch of people making something happen is when it’s Humanity working as one thing I went to space shuttle launched its moving people on that fucking thing
I’ve been crying and he’s a colonel in the Air Force and he was sobbing crying computer friends on board
get this bird in the air not going to do with your tears
he’s got a buddy on board this thing is like the last launch of Atlantis as they were second to last supposed to be the last but they had the added one more I think and so when it went up I was just like my jaw hit my chest and I was just screaming crying like I’ve never really cried like that was just I mean it’s crazy to think that you know Billy is accurate of the sun Supernova eyes and likes one piece of dust or whatever settled where Earth is it just happens to Spanish cool the hot gases spin in spin for eons and then they cool and it’s written forms the other day just happens to be habitable cut to us like launching shit in his face is there buddy I’m bored but he’s being very insightful about it and you are very like the and he was saying like you know people don’t really cheered like you so you know when it launches why do people chair but the people that I’ve been to do before they don’t share until the solid rocket booster
detached because when those are still in there still attached to it anything can go wrong it is no way to afford it once they released as a possible way if things go wrong to to have it returned to the land of going into space against God and I can’t turn off until those run off and return the landing site has never been done think God did you tell him that there’s a traditional like there’s things that can go wrong when you’re telling people how to cheer a fellow isn’t it I’m sorry I just like the challenge because you act like we talked about that oh my God until they are released
I’m filming a very poorly on my on my iPhone would you like that looking through it because it’s holding it up kind of in the direction of it I don’t crying and I look over the thing that got me a list of all the things was this guy it was going like crying naked in solid rocket boosters make it and it was incredibly
Mike by little things humans do and I’m such a road-rage EU no cock on the road and stuff like that everything is irritable and rushed and go fuck himself and was booked with with with her Rush can go for it is very human moment where I just coming out like awesome like we’re really cool yeah and we have so much mental capacity and it’s very difficult to do all the things we do I don’t know how you put wet in the fucking pencil like this heroic shit that goes on to every little thing that we do and it doesn’t have to be going into space to make you realize that but it’s so much natural heroism that that’s the stuff that always gets me and then you realize how tall is like that’s that’s that’s the beauty of it so that’s why I sent
closer to death it really is I think that’s genuinely part of the reason why I think seasons are very like I always connected to season is when I let me know when I was in Chicago and stuff and I feel like part of the reason that California people can be so cocky and get all that work done and stuff is like they don’t see these as they don’t see like life dying and coming back and dying and coming back cuz I want to look in the mirror and then I can look slightly or what the fuck happened and then they get like worked out of stuff and I really think this season’s give you perspective that let you know we sort of
what has the best I don’t know what I was thinking about this today this is slightly off topic but not really everyone knows.
We all know who the first man of the moon was how many people know who the first man in space was give me that’s what he said cuz that’s something again that Humanity did it was in the fucking 60s the first man in space everyone should know his name and we don’t know it just cuz it’s a Russian and it didn’t like Russia back then it’s like it did I let it go
how about a garden
actually about me I know it isn’t the least surprising thing
the guy got in the city where I grew up with the name that we should do in summer
I think everybody knows you’re a good guy was the first guy’s face I think maybe they did because you asked it that way people there was like maybe it wasn’t your fault cuz I grew up during the day when I learned that it was the Cold War so we were supposed to buy that argument maybe there’s maybe there’s pasta out there like space fuck that that wouldn’t have happened with that dog the first thing it was a Russian dog really different things
I’m over
there’s no like
dogs like
like I mean
a programmer something out at the 2 shuttle things in the guy stuff in the beginning of the Apollo how many Russian like how do you know like the Americans that died at the Space Program which is pretty crazy when you think I got the amount of it cuz it’s like a hundred and sixty or seventy or eighty like space shuttle missions or something like that the Golden Gate Bridge the amount of people that died from poverty
let’s go with their dad I think like maybe seven people died in the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge which is considered an engineering Marvel because the rule of thumb back that was one person dead for every hundred foot of span like that that was considered like like feasible in like okay Insurance wise. I got the fact that like only seven people died and how about if I have 1,300 feet of rubber. No more than that way one that’s like to go but it’s really expensive to kill an astronaut about the danger of capitalism the idea that a dollar is worth something is great and gets all kinds of shit done but by unplugging capped without some rule about it that the human that a human life
is is is absolutely like not only worth more than anything but that the president’s human life is actually worth as much as we can get wrap my brain around this the president’s human life is worth the exact same amount as like the guy whose breath is terrible at the end of the cubicle next to you and the guy that that look creepy up at the 7-Eleven like that his human life is actually is all equivalent like that all I have to do is put that in place over capitalism what capital is run under that you wouldn’t have supplemented wearing the cat shirt from the sexy guy
now I got to go last week that we brought we mention the different cities trying to get people to wear that shirt and he had that shirt on and we were talking to him and he has Tourette’s and he’s kind of going to spinal thing for 11 years and we talked to him and Aaron fell in love with this cat shirts and so is Vicky has become something of a craze online alright no worries we are ya Cat shirts
they had a lot of catching up to do I’ll be I’ll be curious to find out on Reddit whether this is the best or worst episode in a while I think that we’ve settled into an audience that where it’s like this what my my mom would listen to The Home Shopping Network while she sewed in the in the eighties I would come home from school my mom wasn’t buying anything cuz we’re poor but you sit there and so stuff and she would have the Home Shopping Network on cuz she had got addicted to the voices of the people that go Diane is every time you order a bracelet she just listening to Diane talk about like if you listen to people for hours a day that you think that’s what we’ve been reduced to wear in their homes were in their lives were their family if I cut my finger right now someone in Illinois would be like Kylie cut his finger. It’s not just that they’re listening to the sounds that are voices make
hi Diane in Illinois are you guys are you chopping your salad that was the first question
hi hi Spencer Howard hey guys
do you want to
you don’t have to if you never cry at Home Depot video where the guy is proposing the other guy I don’t know what I don’t know this video I’m sad how’s it go he’s like
he’s demonstrating
imagine all these people are dancing
and you’re the guy okay
you you didn’t
I’m a guy with a girl okay right
they’re all dancing at the Home Depot
or somewhere else in America and around the world and your fiance guy walks up
oh
you’ve made me so happy will you make the rest of my life the happiest life that I will ever have
Jeff and BJ brother really actually crying
Give Me Your Home Depot card with a
magic stage Sharon
I got a I got a little tear it up if that if I’m interpreting that correctly there’s it it’s a viral video of a it’s a it’s a same-sex couple of proposal and the re-enactment because it felt like a little golden railroad spike then you know when going like either that’s how you win that’s how you that’s the thugs of the victory is when my mom goes like oh they’re just like us makes me cry if you would be over because believe me they’re more romantic
I feel like a fool.
I mean I cry cry all the time constantly sisters who are on Nashville star talk about these two little girls Lennon and Maisy Stella their sisters and I sing acapella and the way that they look at it if I start talking about all kinds of two and three are not to enter either at their way out there and have a look at each other as sisters the way that they admire each other makes me sad to get a time frame
specific that things I don’t think you can jump right back and we have a monsters and good guys and I think it’s pretty self-explanatory
okay I mean
you never have to tie a rope to your dagger I guess
call okay on the last episode of harmontown Our Heroes we’re still in the depths of Admiral dark stars black key after trekking North DeLand final Siege on the menacing Marauder Our Heroes fell prey to dark stars illusionary defenses and we’re trapped with his icy clutches after reuniting the party defeated a snowflake him in charge of some stairs and countering of pork you demon in front of a room full of buttons after dispatching the hell is Hedgehog Our Heroes set to work pressing buttons and releasing terribly dangerous until they stumbled across one that unleashed the 23 flavors of refreshing satisfaction that is dr. pepper
filling the room with dr. pepper Our Heroes floated up towards a hole in the ceiling ceiling in the sticky effervescent Embrace of success and The Taste the Amazon site reviews call great-tasting
the party crawled out of the hole and onto the floor of a Great Hall in a great metal Castle they were in the black keep
but what would they do I don’t know
thank you cousin
Frederick resident has always brought to you by Dr Pepper
100% immersion I’m just calling it out so well you guys crawl into the Hall of the dark keep them after you exit from this whole you feel the nurturing dr. pepper has healed you mean all your lost hit point. Okay all right
I feel so refreshed
me too
mr. puff guy
extra now
you guys can you guys and gal we finally made it this is the dark keep this is a stronghold of Admiral Darkstar
it’s quiet too quiet on my finger okay at lights out
Freehold in to try and look around yeah okay legs exam in my surroundings you can see
is a large double door to when I’m going to call for sick of reference the south of this room you’ll see a wooden door on the East and on the west and there’s a staircase leading from the north you just crawled out of a hole roughly in the center out of the same hole you see your skeletons that you’ve been you know shit amassing they float to the top and you start to pull themselves out of the skeletons skeletons you only count 46 somehow you know Recon 46 I’m sorry I doubted you
I was hoping you were wrong I didn’t want to think that Scrooge
fellows that staircase I guess should be the first thing we go we check out the double doors flying open is dazzling gold me where’s a great green cape and clutch is a blue gem on a rope in one hand I am like fingers
and that’s not true my name is Sharpie I want to start a relationship with a lie
as he dashes in the room and looks at your glowing finger he says circus and my finger is only illuminated from from the power of of of Truth The Devils
work-rate tricks on my mind look into my eyes do you see a devil’s illusion right now
okay I’ll look into my eyes are not as much keep looking in this still about the same okay what is his face look like he looks like he’s his gleaming and bright he has a like a like a plus sign that’s just blowing on his face weird person how many people have you encountered since you it just that your travels here that have told you that they’re here to destroy Admiral Darkstar the last room was full of people such as bad and they turned on you and I destroyed them okay that makes you one of his dark minions
that’s your experience man
but yours has been one of like only shit like a hall of a psychological mirrors like you’ve been running into people that seem like they’re cool and then turns out they’re not yes then this seems like it’s the third in a free trial said no. You know how to kill Apple Darkstar to answer that I wanted to prove they were not the demons
it looks really cool really really cool by the way I was thinking about getting one of those
so that’s the mark of my God what’s your name my name is Calais the Magnificent Charles Townshend bother me how many how many how many demons have done this and I get on my knees and I I open my throat to you sir strike me down okay
can we have a sidebar know that’s what demons do everyone in the world that’s the bend over backwards for him
okay can I do it on Carlos I mean sure so he’s a good guy so as far as I can hold out right I get up and dust myself off of that really aggressive way
fuckin’-a and I just walked past him
through the doors and I added butter as I just trailed off of them that you’re good people
just thinking the same thing about you yeah
as a paladin is my my job to wipe out all evil not just demon up our customers seem pretty rough and I look into his eyes and I I take out my rope and I I tie it to my bedroll
I Look To My Pal and give them a like it
sorry to the guy
I look I look I look at him and just use my diplomacy before I say a callus I offer you this Federal and rope representing the tie to our home that we are making our Noble if we could we put up with this shit
I guess you’re right
together you seem like a tough Paladin let’s go and do this thing. Okay I’ll right now so just one thing though
Sharpie Sharpie leaving you when I’m going to be if you got stepped on by a giant healing choir of
that’s not immersion
do I need to find the best airline in the world why do you want to see that Dark Star turn out all right all right so we don’t we don’t need that he doesn’t need to access WhatsApp I’m not sure I feel like it’s a little bit I understand but this guy he doesn’t know where we’re coming from do you know let’s just put our best face forward and then once he trust us then you can have the talk with him hey like you come across a little weird right up top
what did you see in your travels
callus on the back of them said thanks I don’t see how that’s relevant
just listen he’s a dick he was a total dick tell me tell me you guys why do you control a skeleton army I am pretty sure not pretty sure I know for a fact that skeletons cannot be created without great evil being done we made a deal with a frost giant who who said that we know we could team up and we know he didn’t really help us lady tried to kill us all you’ve contracted with the dark. He’s not in the Frozen City
I’ve heard tell of such a city dark I go over to run Dead skeletons are
yes our skeletons are a dead toy their skeletons and they’re moving around your dad I’m dead inside I had a dad like you
okay Sharpie Sharpie Eastern door examine the Eastern door and he’s like I wouldn’t go there frost on the East what is the roasting that’s good I mean they’re eating the demon list or I don’t know have you been to so far which area have you not explored I just know the East I go to the southern door that’s where I came out of Jesus
I’m on your side not driver
and then I Love Field
he doesn’t respond and I do it like a perception check on that dork
there’s a large handle I should apply I try to handle you try the handle and as you grab it you feel a shirt prick you pull your hand away and you see a needle is poked out of the door and stab you in the hand wide retracting in the door this procession check should have showed you that there was like a needle on to show me was a handle I didn’t send you anything I had just popped out recent I cut oh yeah what about the Northern or the Western door. What a what’s what’s your fortitude save their fortitude is 8
Direct
everything’s fine there’s a lot of but I feel like I dodged a bullet on this one but not like the different part of the handle sure disputed important or if it’s protected by a needle driver
so I grabbed the other part of it and I open it okay you see stairs that go up
guys do you want to go up some stairs what do you think Alice I think I’m going through the other door the west door I’m going there now why why why why why you guys don’t know what you’re
how do you say sorry what can we be your minion start stomping towards this Western door
he throws open the door is there a needle on at inside is nothing but Darkness he goes wedding it’s like you guys suck you don’t know what’s up
I’m glad he’s a man you guys can’t come through the door and slammed it shut sky is there that you hear a scream is it the other door the northern door begin heading up the stairs but they seem longer than intended as if it might take a whole week to find it.
alright thank everybody for coming to Hermantown once again
like I said
text Amanda John Roy BJ of course everybody are cast of a Cavalcade of characters
Erin mcgathy message written and Kumail nanjiani everybody
I just gave us one more time for the mayor
see you guys next week

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