Episode: 194 – Talk, Talk, Talk, Wounded

Episode

Episode: 194 – Talk, Talk, Talk, Wounded

Description

Gigantic sweetheart and actor Derek Mears visits Harmontown, Dan doesn’t trust when Rob says “I love you”, music by Jeordie White. Watch the video at harmontown.com! Only $5 a month, we are independently owned, you can watch live, stream or download any episode from any device.

Transcript

Hollywood California music by shorty White
aggravate harmontown
Desert Regional Medical Center
Maker Faire
Dan Harmon
thank you
oh you had it we’ve had a string of some pretty action-packed episodes but a lot of crazy guests in the city and have a bad show cuz
we’re all tired and there’s nobody there’s nobody coming
and I know I don’t have anything to talk about good I came here directly from the Greek mindset as did you say yes yes we weren’t
today we shot with Gillian Jacobs from Community she has he played she played Ada Lovelace the mother of programming Ada Lovelace or is it love less Ada Lovelace get to the bell haydel of late British pronounce Lovelace Lovelace I think they pronounce a lot of things a lot of ways all I know is she’s like a lot of modern Computing she wrote the first year of the first lines of code where’s the first the first algorithm there were no computers yet she wrote an algorithm
that’s all I got I still you know some classic observations are still wish they made a pill that could make your fingernail stop growing I’m just never going to put these things like schedule what else is going on dude you ever really that vice presidents after his old tricks
yes you let yes Jeff dirty gross but never been tempted to do that do it right now. It was cold and they were locked in the cabin and I’m Gloria Donner the first
you guys saw that Hannibal prequel worth it
really like walk you through how the Donner party thing reminded me that he’s like a little kid under the table at a nurse at Donner party that he’s like under a table watching his first experience in life is that you sometimes people eat people like they walk you through bit by bit piece by piece like how you could become Hannibal Lecter what by from being you remove all the fun out of the characters
it doesn’t it seem that Peter Parker is that I could give you some iPad app recommendations they’re not funny ones though I don’t want to start any more beefs with anywhere Franco’s
I’m playing a game called Knights of Pen & Paper 2 o yeah yeah yeah if you like role-playing games in like turn-based combat is the end of the great see what classes are other people at home
I have a lab rat wizards of a goth girl like
shorty herder I think she’s a are you quiet
what what what
jobs dealing with fan
is there any camera that can know that
Justice close the garage
sorry I didn’t get going to fill you in on back strike the show has a Phantom Zone and
our generals odds are sentence there when they try to usurp the son of Krypton
now he’s talking he’s talking let’s bring him out Rob’s Rob’s here again
damn it
hey Rob
how you doing man I’m doing alright Jeffrey
Fair to Midland for breakfast
what did I have for breakfast I had your breakfast guy that really know how come every time you text me that you love me
what does that mean
am I supposed to say I love you too I don’t want to say is personal we lost a friend
the runner is that after I die
no no no it’s like was it Patton’s wife every time though I’m saying it doesn’t matter it’s a famous person is a friend is it that every time I love you you should take better care of while you know that you should take better care of yourself I didn’t want so you know I’m doing something wrong by you literally don’t know what to do cuz I love you Dan
yeah what would it what David Bowie I love you Dad what do you think I’m going to do I have a platinum record I wish you would write better records for sale
I just went in those moments when you lose something special you know
you should be insulted by it or offended or hurt
and they were right there now
look what someone special dies for you you think of the people special close to you are you thinking maybe the distance the gulf between you and Dan are you wish that you were closer together
look at a house.
You don’t know where you can scoop you can scoot to stools closer
what what what is this we don’t have a show so why don’t we do a little Holodeck scene where you’re not working on the Lego 2 movie for seven and a half years and I’m not working on 950 projects for a 900 years
the Hologram it’s hard that I struggle with it all the time and my entire life people have been asking why are you go to the bathroom
alright so where does it where do we take us to the the Holodeck where we stayed in. You’re probably like holyshit you probably she’s probably already been through the whole like thing of my God damn it I’m going to have to do it I’m going to get up and when she has to go to the phone booth
I got a hot sister it
Runner you know Bela Lugosi, what do you love me I’m trying dude but you’re playing
show me that one in the middle all right thanks alright okay there we go
tell Megan that kind of show
Trattoria thoughtful show something is important
bring that connection is about exactly where do you want to stay
she’s wiping is it down four.
Oh shit that I’ve got my cranberry juice I have to go to the bathroom I haven’t had a girlfriend in so long I don’t know I just I don’t know these code words where we Fading Into sell these program to make me look bad cut its program to call your bluff because when I get a text that says I love you I’ve only when people die it’s like the academy this the the the the unspoken thing is like we don’t see each other enough and I’m going to close the relationship you eat too much you drink too much here out loud I said those words I don’t have to have a slight of hand with a say that to your face now so why can’t you just text Prince died
I write r i r i d Prince what what do you want then you say I love you Dan
it’s like so mode okay well fine what do you want me to stop anywhere you want me to keep doing all right virtual virtual fishing boat the gun is gone
virtual fishing boats
shut up
Wales
foggy
so it’s good that we finally got this moment alone together so that we can see each other this is this is it thank God none of us worked really hard until we dropped dead without warning you God thank God thank God we did that now we can enjoy this now and it’s fish
think of think of think of what we would I mean
I made you something
yeah
close your eyes
hold out your hand
is my shit
the fuc
son of a bitch
helicopter
I love you too
hi roaded
I’m so sorry
angel wings flap so much
give me get back to fishing please
dad kills you if you still want to hang out with him and fish
alright that didn’t work
all right well I hope you enjoyed level up show
yes, I do not want to be loved by Rob I just want to be loved when people die and that’s when you feel comfortable and are you loving you more when when famous people died
and then you feel like you don’t want to be loved only one mortality is the the thing
who’s David with my mom she like send me a direct tweet or something and I’ll say like be nice to hear from you now and then text me I called her Bluff I said you can text me anytime I wouldn’t want to bother you bother me she never does
text me but do you want her to I don’t know I don’t know I’m text you what up what up man what’s going on man what and what do I do know that you don’t write back
you are a unit that scratch your head like mode we’re like you are busy as a motherfuker all the time and you have the best excuse to not reply to have the best I also sometimes the Box
yeah they say sometimes like a small man comes and puts his phone into a box
all right I like Cinemas yes I like them
well our next guest is he played the I think the most recent Jason Voorhees like now they stopped making those movies
it’s not that I think he wants to kill people wrong
I think he killed him
killed everybody in the movie there’s nobody to let you know he’s an old friend of ours and I don’t think he’s ever been up on this podcast hanging out you know the roster better than please
ears
not yet
Derek I just filled my cranberry juice
yeah come on over this side of the dip in the middle of 195 episode 195 episode
195 I wanted to do it tonight when I get so mad at Travel chasing around like some crates and then he runs behind a crate and then you come out the other side and it just puts me off at Chase and Stripes Forever
old Looney Tunes Joker origin story we know Derek All of Us, Bakersfield, correct I was out late at certain tournaments and we all met like sitting with Derek and I’ll talk to you in first person to play in Milwaukee and you and I sat next to each other and it was like a New York friends and we saw something so funny that you and I looked at each other like fuck this shit like we were actually on happy I have funny things were the other two good
these guys are the funniest we are at so like fuck it totally done you were like blood quit forever and those things were Dan Harmon
actually
I thought Sean McKenna was the funniest because he was the most punk rock play Comedy Sports which was so safe and so by the numbers like these guys are actually like punk rockers in the Improv world and we all ended up hanging out like on the sidelines in like becoming friends and that is my friendship with robbed and all you guys look like crap like like
play some number one albums in a row straight or normal I think a lot of it is just a big show just kind of like I can Alice Cooper Marilyn Manson on the metal side behind the other hip hop side he does things just to get in people’s mind setting to be in their consciousness
just did though he didn’t just a little while ago he was like I was always going to be on title
and then it wasn’t so like a lot of people subscribe the title under false pretenses and now there’s a class action lawsuit or something I don’t know why the subscription program thing service music streaming scription by Jay-Z write Talent on his side Kanye’s like it’s only going to be on title if you want Talent it’s going to be on title you best subscribe and then then it comes out not on title and everyone’s like what what the fuck are we doing this for we just buy albums like normal people
shipwell still do a lot of people hit women on people and stuff out of their sight it’s just we got to tear up the floor you said it’s mirrors it doesn’t work for the cameras he probably be like okay cool Jesus
okay cool where is it at all who could buy it but they didn’t tell her she’s going to be like
are you comparing yourself to Kanye or Jesus
proud of ourselves for God’s sake I mean 7 number one albums albums ago is when he needed to stop being humble by our own
do I have to start wearing a shoe for a hat
we establish that a long time ago
permission to be Kanye West I just got I just got a call that he bet that people are still there that that lady was like you put stuff on his butt and then it’s like it’s amazing that he was like
it’s not like a PR Company going like to go to Target
this accessible these people don’t like to drink alone
and so he’s that big begins and stab you in the face
you want you want to be Kanye like I gave you like Alexa
holiday holiday excuse me being Kanye
and the winner for best musician for the MTV Music Awards is
you want to read the envelope Shanaynay
all right put your ears and hands together is Kanye West
this is bulshit this is bulshit Taylor Swift get up here Taylor Taylor get up here
deserves this award this is bulshit I didn’t work my ass off Taylor Swift did
she deserves it
I didn’t know what else to do with that

Taylor Kanye
full powers
oh you’re so tasty delicious Kanye the black Taylor Pentagon 1978
should I went the wrong way
I take the three left to right
finally I’ve been looking for you guys forever
I went to a room there was a guy so anyways we have a problem guys that help you with that
operation Delta has been a failure
I suspect it is my fire drill is going down we got to get out of here
elevator fuck that pussy to the elevator
it’s too bad that you use it to do Sally was wearing today LOL
how many working for the Pentagon or JCPenney’s
did not do the elevator stop in the Air does not open LOL
it’s in the way that you use it
Men’s Wearhouse
okay well your lights go out
God I don’t want to freak you guys out but when stuff like this happens if it bad I can’t see things I tell you I have a little flashbacks of the child and I start to get uncomfortable and weird things happen okay
tattoos
son happy birthday this is your new hammock
thanks this is so comfortable I have never had anything like this before it moved back to the elevator elevator
and she was really mean to me and so that’s what happens
she like a speech impediment really high-pitched voice. You couldn’t say my name right I’ve taken control of your elevator car Kanye West
you have 30 seconds to make the greatest rap album of all time
you can do it really can find in here but okay
oh yeah put your alligator action together for key W word
a circle is a Daydream a circle is a square to me
when the grass is green and the Sun is yellow I saw your mom turn into a fellow that’s not transphobic
I support her wholeheartedly and her change
whoever she wants to meet you.
every day is today tomorrow a square is no more than a circle has zero but you
my
and then I do nine more songs like that and obviously you’ve been bested we have a budget for the elevator narrator and we don’t have the budget for the elevator maintenance
notary license last 3 Wars
can’t see my watch
finally the ghost is here
don’t remind thanks my only friend
hammock
I have nothing to do with it
what is Flashback
you know what I’m scrubbing the Delta project that’s what I came to tell you guys I was going to take you to lunch break it to you slowly over mozzarella sticks you made minute yourself you phoned it in mozzarella sticks
what’s he doing with that apple apple
so long suckers
wasn’t that matter Apple part of the Delta project
dick
but she’s dick
yes
want to go back to give me head
all right
that ain’t what it did was it like that exactly
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no limits is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through the New Black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
can we have a serious conversation for a second I love you
who got who died that seen Spencer how have you been I’ve been so good I know you’ve been messing with it and looking at it for minutes
what do you think what is it
whatever it is I got it no
oh no
look up bird
no it’s still there oh but that’s us okay
all right
I just want to say I’m very phobic about him. He’s and stuff or the snakes will
I love you so much thank you Derek tell us about getting kicked in the nuts by Will Smith
okay I need Wild Wild West ohmygod that’s an actress very lucky at one point one of my first jobs working on the Stellar hit wild wild wild west wild wild west one
did you play the robot spider actually it would be a giant metal head guy inside the spider and I was super nervous cuz I had a hit Will Smith for the first time punching and what not but you had to kick me in the nards as well but when we were doing it we have when you get kicked in the nardiello cuz he’s a safety strap that goes around your ankle all the way up to here so if someone hits you it stops them from actually getting your nerd Parts yeah hold on to get to Chris to hold the body that is Will Smith’s ankle does the plopping intuitive chicken is hard as he can afford it if he kicked straight up in your in your dick is not going to get there because it’s correct but if you go up to at an angle you get hit hard in the upper groin area
for the connection between your poop in the Hop to come together and your nuts are huge
there are other average man nuts
vagina bigger than an average man drink a special like giant Diet Coke and how big are they would what’s the average nut size in a corner
two times my size are nuts but I’m special
how’s the weather going to be on the show Quality quality 20 takes happened not one with straight up with their side to side and I felt like a kickboxer because it got to the point where I keep getting kicked over and over and it’s not like I’m so new one no no no this is good if I kick this guy’s hard as I can start out that’s going to be like kicking a human being in the balls so he’s kicking you in the thigh yes probably be a good person but he’s doing it wrong to make more than I do and you can hire me in the future heated it completely right it was my fault
just think of the black is purple and I went to the other trailer and I got the trailer later and just had these giant volleyball size on both sides like bruises on TV because it’s like you can’t like stop between 30th take the way I met the dude that was an acting class yes believe it or not I was in an acting class in class and the one of the classmates was the guy who played Marco in Die Hard who is the guy who says thanks for the advice is hard
that guy that guy because he told me I look like because I had to do rolls and Dives and Tux and nips and thanks and he he’s like
a moment of silence for that moment of silence the die-hard never I think he’d never liked could you start work again because that was his biggest gig and it was the most benign as they need seeing die-hard there’s a moment when he’s like talking and then some dude come in the doorway and he goes it’s like and he drives down to Second shot of the doorway and like the guys scatter man in that shot Marco vaults over an office chair like does a little dive it’s not that big a deal the movies not called rid of Jeanette gymnastics hard you know is there of the wonderful part ways but he did this move that he done had to do 46 times literally I think they did 46 takes of that shot and he could never stop at take 23 and say
hey I’m out I can’t do this I’m going to ruin my body and you like Will Smith of kicking you in the nets for the 18th time and you’re not like your face with this like crazy choice of like well what am I going to be the stunt man that’s like gotten this far and then goes I can’t take it you’re allowed to but at you’re allowed to say okay I’m hurt but if you do go home we never hire you again like I did a veteran you probably get away with him or right between your job is to make the stonecutter who hired you look as good as possible so if you ever get hurt or injured onset you don’t actually eat you’re not you shouldn’t profession like scream out I do have my arm is broken and I can’t feel you’d be very quiet and you you have your hurt you leave set so you don’t cause a panic on set and people freak out because I have to work today then they don’t make their day and there’s money involved what not but you going to take it whatever hurt
you go back and you finish the job for the day if if your mentality is right and then cuz you look later at herniated disc in my neck I was a tough job I’ve ever done I did Hansel and Gretel witch Hunters costume yeah that was that big old giant food
yeah that was crazy. We we shot three months in Berlin the first week there anything you do for these like kind of Monster job doesn’t after I passed my normal face into a monster from time to time but anytime you like a Monster job you’re always prepared ahead of time like I always like a UFC fighter you use over train so when you’re on set nothing’s going to phase you but the suit was so difficult cuz they originally the the studio want to see the character and the producers in the writers are funny but no we want to do it Patrick we have the right people in the right team together let’s do it practical and then okay we’ll try it but the suit was so big I try to explain to people like when you put it on it’s like being on a treadmill with like a hundred plus pound weight on your like neck shoulders are all over you your breathing in carbon dioxide so you can’t breathe very well your pulse is already you’re actually cooking inside the suit to imagine not put in a plastic bag on your head and Running Blind so
job he just shows up so I can come home and I deserved it and I shouldn’t let him do that. It’s called addiction addiction he was the nicest most down-to-earth guy I was talking to one of his Entourage to the time is he doing a game or does he know no man Will Smith is Will Smith 24 hours a day and he treated it didn’t matter if you were there the caterer all the way up to the main producer everybody equally with respect and I was blown away I went a lot for them
pretty cool
I’d like to I’d like to work with him someday
yeah can’t wait for that for wild wild west know it was a small room or whatever there was like a low-hanging activate my backgrounds like martial arts the stuff that’s what I like thing I don’t want to do that go ahead and do it like I talk about like
Target
if your if you just moved to Hollywood are you looking for self-confidence don’t move in with Davis that guy is his waking nightmares about 9/11
skinny like week like you know thin actresses Derek with date giant hard-ass stunt women who like look like like Xena Warrior Princess little bedroom
I bet that was him talking to me wrestling me and my skinny ass girlfriend like a superhero
totally hairless a picture for you
Jericho come out and I be playing his PlayStation I’ve been doing play some Tomb Raider Whatever and ever come out in his tighty-whities and he would do I called it the pretty princess
imagine him in naked except for tighty whities
Jeff
Jennifer
am I a pretty princess
who directed Good Times
but the point I was trying to make with that was just coming over the roommate is like you know who’s going to play Tomb Raider on PlayStation 2 is great and it was like a cat with a beautiful hot eccentric women would come in and I would sit there and they’re like Don perion I feel like the kid from Deliverance of life
have a good time tonight
but they had to put up with me cuz like that you know they’re dating Jeff and knew we were close right now
read into that you could have done it like just just skin tightly texts just be in the cabinet under the sink
hahaha
Jesus Christ Jesus picture
you guys are up so I got your back
this is a horrible idea
night night
French Creek
you really are Picasso Jesus
I was actually kind of curious like how like what the disparity is like how how far my leg goes up I think it was like
hahaha
what are the chiropractor if you have it
cuz you’re busy and then you’re like
if I just say no then I’ve already tried and tried to be honest because I can be done those exercises there like core exercises like where you work your core for my posture I don’t like my posture but I don’t I don’t like doing the exercises either so my hands are tied
so I only do so once a week I go into him and he goes that he’s adjusting my back and it goes did you do those exercises
okay that’s fine that’s the alarm tone before we live in an orwellian Society
7 day is like a God damn it I can text Eric Clapton the know his name cuz I like harassing dr. Todd you know dr. Todd. Just not do the exercises this week I didn’t do them and then his reaction is like okay well can I ask you a question do you want to have better posture yes I do dr. Todd well you can’t have it is I can’t help you if you if you get it cuz if you don’t want to do it then you don’t want to do it wasn’t me like if you want don’t want to waste my time or like something like use wasting your time well that’s when I cancel an appointment
he is like right but it’s like I pay for the appointment I thought he was like but I are lying she just wasting my time I don’t know what to do with you and said then I tried lying a little bit like so the next time you guys like I hadn’t until I tried lying just enough cuz I didn’t get the right it was like so I was like yeah like yeah it was like like how often is right now here and there like like once every other day trying to little bit and then he said well I can’t you know what I mean I want to help you pass you but I can’t I can’t work with you if it’s like a little ones every other day and I did an impression of my voice in like it and I’m like I just like how you just put up with this
you’re supposed to crack my back and it but then I think what if I stopped going to him and then my back feels bad
Millennial know he works that seems like the best I can and then I go back to him and then he’s like I don’t know like I throw a pebble at his window
I hope I hold up a Boombox and it’s playing this shity music version of whatever have you tried actually doing his instructions and doing that right now I think we if you did it right now then you can be truthful you don’t like it cuz you won’t even accept a lot according to me that wouldn’t be enough for him and I don’t do it yeah yeah
no but I don’t have time to do the exercises bro
are you going to lay down on the floor and go and like it’s like for my core I don’t have a core do it every time you have to pee 15-second you got to pee experiment to see if he’s a good teacher know I cannot I do I’m not able to do it it doesn’t work into my schedule right now I can’t have Steve Levy put on my calendar thrust your fucking hips for 15 seconds it like my calendar already looks like this everyday is like what like what I read read the Bible against the wall have you cut Minecraft out of here
he has a paper too. I got I got a couple hours yesterday I don’t touch the console games or laptop games I only do iPad time management games they’re teaching me time management
are you still in pain as your back like no that’s the thing so why would I ever do these exercises take it easy don’t go if you don’t like if you don’t like them you don’t like them you don’t like what he’s telling you to do to stop it just don’t go I worry about you man. Just just stay home
well Steve can you put on the calendar that I got a delay on the ground and then there’s a piece of paper that shows a lady doing it it’s like I got a
don’t even make sense I just can you show us what it is. It’s going to look like a man laying down in the future in the ass you like did you do it or not you can put your ear hit podcast and head out of my day like
maybe these people what is the witnesses described seems like a perfect circle

oh shit I hate I hate I hate these parts of the podcast because it’s like I always I always imagine being the person that’s here for the first time and they’re like why did you take me here
call cuz he’s a great writer that he’s back with his knees up okay so this is the exercise like I think I think I just feel like I can’t remember but I can’t tell what the weather supposed to be like and then I got a guy that it’s Dylan he’s arching his back or we’re getting you some exercise you have plausible deniability
you can put on a rap beat naked like I could do it but I could do a core
yeah
yeah cranking your car yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, keep your life on track it’s going to make your plastic thing going to make it I’m going to fuck your mama so hard I’m bringing the heat pad heat pad going down on your cool you crack your fuck your mama so how she’s going forward and back up here her back just straighten her spine affect your mama like Curly fucking Like Larry Fine call Jacqueline Howard Becker fine Cajun y’all, it’s just in time got the Three Stooges to room 213 affect your mama’s so hard you know what I mean
an enthusiastic Applause
there are three kinds of Applause in the world in Susie Astic everybody put your hands together for Kanye Jesus
I said mister back problems
we’re breeding a super race
The Banger Brothers coming out
play jerika memory 4-channel 101 with a thing Dan Rob Chris Tomlin and I we get together going to let us make Jaws for like to see jaws for I guess make Jaws for a rock made the most shocking thing in the world
and my dick was just as it was before
am I right that Bill Cosby was Michael Caine
is it is that the set still online it’s the worst because Sarah Sarah said I said that that video and said I wanted to stay and lend a hand if somebody said it’s like on 101 and then they went okay well we’ll put a visit is it taking to get down there it’s pretty fucking was pretty out there I’m not going to say okay it’s just
plant leaves that out there right after that we all said let’s make everyone make the next Batman and Batman it’s all so it goes all the way around the bed it’s you and your girlfriend at the time it was my roommate and she she volunteered to she cuz it’s one of the seeds is it was a dark looking to Batman’s life and he was it was at one point he’s he’s he’s yes it just cuts to him in bed with his girlfriend wearing the Batman mask and he’s saying to his girlfriend who is naked get up on your knees I want to kiss you while I jerk off and end end it it’s supposed to be creepy and sad than lonely cuz even when he’s with someone he’s alone and end then but it’s cheap but she’s
like ice i remember I set up the camera on a tripod and like like we got into frame in like Robbins nipples were out of frame on the viewfinder like this in the early days of dishes overscan like I didn’t know all the terminology the video when it was like her nipples are well in Brian likes to just my topless girlfriend giving me a hand job anyway I don’t know
everything changed its 9:30 now we missed it I will never miss it
you’re right in our hearts and I ask Derek to be my villain in it and his character accomplishing magnet and he had a necklace
are we showed up at your dojo you like Jeff like I can do someone like karate moves was to Kickstart My Heart by Motley Crue I pulled my groin going to show and I so I can’t really do it if you if you can ever see this giant flying kicks and everything that you played so hard while her tits amazing love you hey Derek
so when I when I when I met you like you were I mean like
lake lake lake with you I always say I don’t know if it’s offensive to you but because I’m trying to create an image of people that had like you look from like the dude from Powder like like like like like that when I the first time I ever met you at like like because it’s amazing when you meet somebody who’s all jacked up and looks good it’s like it’s hard to imagine that they ever actually bothered to just like transform himself without permission but you you could have easily just been a dude in the trench coat just hanging out at the campus behind a tree and it just like using psychic powers to know people that but instead you went you went this route and one of my questions is like can you remember that point in your life when you like like like like where you went from just what God had dealt you to like deciding to like like just do stuff
I grew up in Bakersfield California and I love, but it wasn’t cool with that, book sci-fi horror I got into acting because of dungeon dragons going to somebody professionally how do I do that I want actor perfect but I also grew as a different alopecia alopecia swear people don’t know is when your your body reject your hair just I’ve had in my entire life we just recently like the last four years I could grow a goatee for some reason but how do you add 40 + how do you shaved you do do this when I moved in, and I was the one that turned me on to go into this class with Sam Christiansen
joining with everybody doing the same Christian Marco from die-hard yes I learned about to put together and I learned about my Essence is a tie when I give up as a Human Being II if I worked out I can make the big bad guy in TV and film I could like I was the kid you know. Getting picked on like they could maybe do a pull-up or whatever and that was about it to hearing from Sam’s class that made you think if you got jacked up what what what were you here it talks about you find out what your Essences are like when you walk into a room what you give off to people with your disquiet and what are their who they are like in the old days we used to do is go to like the airport and like for example
we go there on the corner and I have a list of adjectives on a piece of paper and I would walk around the strangers and go ahead my friend Dan Harmon were an acting class to get a guy over there any adjective you think applies to Dad just by looking at him without him say anything and after about $100 so you start seeing the same patterns like some of the same I literally did that exercise you think I got this is horseshit you take it is an international terminal so that a lot of these people are from Poland and why is it everyone think I’m sarcastic fifty feet away and he agrees to start castic lazy smart
they might all be wrong about whether or not you’re lazy you might not be late cuz you’re a workaholic I don’t think of you as a lazy person but strangers all want you now does unanimously agree to Rob makes a lot of comments about it
I went I went with a guy who look like Charles Bronson who was as tough dude with a mustache and I was like before a flight before you had to go to the security you just you could be at the gate without going and so you so I can see if your flight is delayed if you guys have to check off what you think applies the present and people love it cuz you get to the amount of this is before Candy Crush this is before I go to the thing is they all said the same shit we got 50 Sam cousins until I can do 5 if you trust me dude 500 if you don’t like a thing is it’s going to be the same information
no matter what everyone’s going to agree that this man was like at lunch about your cards and what is it is like is like someone said I look like C-3PO
he was like moving is Spotlight like I was a dinosaur
I wonder why don’t we we got in the car and I I I I got teamed up with him I didn’t really want to be this guy’s partner turned out to be the most informative thing in the world cuz we got in the car and is looking for this up everything why does everybody say suspicious
you’re suspect and why do people keep saying I am allowed and walked out and that’s exactly how you say that me and you had one I loved last puppy at the racing business cuz you you want a route to the last puppy that he’s the kid one
yeah and the last puppy at the pound manipulates people so he did
what was your brakes are on Monster on Shore leave but I’m on vacation I like I like I like clean socks really like I like I like the real world I love it I just don’t belong in it so I’m just like no that’s why I love Hugh Jackman sings I love I love I love I love clean but I’m never going to be a short leave but I don’t want to hang out and they keep apologizing for a motherfuker why you think I can live in a desert
but I’ve never forgotten where I come from so you started lifting weights
I was gentle tough guy saying working like a Swiss watch and I had another one where was like a superhero and search a super heroine for Meaningful change of superpowers as he was, but he typed that you are like Dexter in space but you weren’t absolutely yeah absolutely that’s amazing LaserDisc game when I guess I just passed on the knowledge on Spencer and give him and I am taking over your ship and sail it into cock Harbor
I am a viking of Lucy let’s see that’s one of them
the thing about this this class is amazing like Drew Carey like I took it like a long time ago and I told you about it and he goes famous trip together he’s like I want to know who I am my wife would like the whole point is that there’s things that people strangers friends instantly agree about you whether they’re right or wrong they all go like if they looked at you and are you do you like to swim or do you hate getting her hair when we would all agree or disagree on that they were unanimous you might be an Olympic swimmer but I don’t know she doesn’t want to go because it isn’t so
did you find out why all the things you wish people thought about you maybe they don’t also some things that you wish that you like like I hope people think they do think that big thing is that everything that sticks out about you when you’re 6 years old the same forever everyone notices everything that special about you like it it’s just it doesn’t it doesn’t have to be who you are it’s just like it’s the way you stick out its the edges that you have it doesn’t have to be a glamorous chocolate and Rudolph and things where we get that concept that all may be the thing that you think he’s ugly or make you beautiful but that still enforces the idea of utility and beauty is it there the more important thing to realize is that when you’re on the playground at your differently shaped and everyone around you and and
your early experiences with What Makes You Different are usually negative experiences because the people around here are the things that stick out which is like water which it roads away at Rough edges so like like all of our early experiences Leclerc hearing things about ourselves our experiences of like crowds gathering around us and going Manny Manny Manny. Something was like like I’m not a panty panty and might even just be the fact that you hate attention like that for a lot of people and it’s like a fucking hole and a lot of us who are destined for interesting things or the yellow just hard things like that’s when we have to practice being special whether we like it or not and they get to practice being a society like they’re not was amazing
classy women in my classes like young or middle-aged women that they have to find out how the world thinks of them as pretty or beautiful and there was a couple of really beautiful and the way that the world stinks like whether describe their beauty really hard from the hero because they’ve been tortured by that since they were little girls and so the for them to own the fact I won’t say her name because she’s on TV and you all know where she’s at 1 I mean
people in the class or secretly write down ways to describe things about people and they kept saying hot tamale sounds like you’re a hot tamale what do you like your arrest but you’re going to hear that to you how old was she when Philadelphia strike him on 18 19 whatever she wasn’t On Golden Pond crusty
when you’re older they call you crusty what they’re talking about is in essence of defiance she was when you’re defiant 18 year old woman you’re feisty when you to find 70 or lemon flavor becomes like poison to buy food but it was a complete Defiance of masculinity and that’s we have different names for that when you’re young and when your old one of the things he had in that class go home grab your yearbook I don’t even see kids do the yearbooks like anymore I was like I get so many more days like that was the last time it was a shit to you they would write all this shit your yearbook also All Your Love Letters we would pass like loose leaf love letters and I I would like that you know you keep them all is like like like our generation we have boxes of them go home grab the notes from the girls in your high school
and they started with it when things were going good when they liked you and then go all the way through and when they have a problem with you and look at the fact that the there’s two different words for what makes you who you are and when they’re when they’re hot for you you’re capricious, weird how your you know you know you’re fucked up like this do we have his neighborhood of these different qualities of ourselves one of mine is if you like me confidence Poise if you don’t like if you don’t like me cocky arrogant like a piece of shit
we’re trying to figure out like it sounds like there’s a way to describe enough to say Jeff that you’re cocky cuz you are cocky but you’re not just arrogant but you’re not just you’re not just a note to self confident I can work as a way to describe a huge cock
thank you they asked me about that they’re coming to this class
I’m fucking Sandra but you and I know right now if you’re taking this class
the book of slang and like you go sit at the LED and all the stuff you’re trying to find the perfect way to word things and he wrote it down and it got Jeffy cuz I think you’re going to like this I don’t think anybody else in the world would I think that you might actually agree with this and like this description of that neighborhood of stuff and it was a piece of paper and gave it to me and I’m not conceited its convinced I don’t think I’m better than you I know I am
find me a dick would think he was better than you
I can be a great guy but I couldn’t because it’s like oh that dick and some people rise that they go so somebody strata up that they’re like oh yeah I got nothing to worry about so let me take you out on the dance floor give you at work I’m not I’m not battling those dragons so let me share my wealth with you there was a girl in my class who is a great actor and she’s amazing and also getting you would know who she was she is going to turn me on to the class and Geena Davis Judi Dench
and she hasn’t said that she can never agree on and and we all know the class know exactly what it was and it was impossible and she would never figure out that last one we don’t consider it
you’re impossible and that doesn’t mean bad like impossible is amazing because I’d like there’s no pleasing you but also like you’re the most important person to try to please like like you were just beyond pleasing she ended up marrying Tom Cruise
Judi Dench
I love Little Green Men
green man I love that you are from outer space
then what am I one of your essence of it I love is unspeakable sadness
right
unspeakable phone I was driving I text you try to help you through that sadness without speaking so I text you and you know you know you don’t text back. It’s okay to that being one of my assets is which is what you get for this class I just really really like it triggered me like what the fuck like I was in the class you do model I’d like like Sam goes tell us about a an animal that changed your life and you will talk for 3 minutes and the other students scribble hates that he gives the students in exercising cuz I want you to compare Dan to a weather phenomenon on your card
directions to get you out of your head but like sometimes it goes like free anything like like no category Dan talk about celebrity you hate or whatever that talk for a while and then I got my cards and one of them just said talk talk talk wounded
what happened to the airport there was a bunch of us is a big like a bunch of middle-aged like me next 30s 40s 50s black women that are all traveling together
LOL I thought that’s what you were my child Bronson guy and somebody wrote and I love the fact that white boy crazy
all right we had to carry like we were in the car and he’s like I want to know who I am and he went and took the class and he was still someone wrote The Price is Right
I thought he had me that he had that was his ass and then he went to the show as I hear it’s as a hair trigger you
purple
truth you this is hilarious it’s got called by Les moonves going to be the new host of Price Is Right on the money is good enough know if the price is right
how much is the money with me right now and he’s been sent everybody he knew like all the people that you carry set it looks off knowledge that it really does liberate you in terms of like agreeing with the fact that the world knows who you are whether you like it or not and also there’s some stuff that you think you are that you just fucking nuts and regular chips and there’s a lot of stuff that people are always going to think you are and if I can get over it yet like lately people think that I don’t like them and like you do at this stage there
what’s a fight but I love you you will stick with your friends no matter what you’re a loyal person he does but that’s not one of your essence is know what you don’t walk in a room and true blue like he will always stick with me that you don’t walk in the room looking like that that’s you know after meeting you but it’s not you that that’s not like get over that one should you do when a when a little bit drew it wasn’t one of his wasn’t one that really set Drew Carey free which is amazing and he was so happy to learn this one of the Jetsons
I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got
I’m just still trying the best I can I am I allowed to know that about myself and I can look at what I have I can’t I can’t say that
so Derek you’re a muscle man
when you’re physically fit like all I’ve ever known is that I look in the mirror and I go all right that’s a sea otter that’s a baby like and that’s how it came out of the womb and I’ve never done any exercise and I’m like still look like a baby start to look like a fat baby people are like
anime like look like like GI Joe
don’t
Black Ops I got to go
it’s not what you think he’s checking his phone and you’re hiding in plain sight can you break everyone’s neck in the opera house go to sleep go to sleep go to sleep
this is like when your fit when you’re made of muscle when you look good when you’re at
when you’re a hot piece of action
what like so like what are Soviet
what’s the terror how do you what do you say we’re all going to have to be if we’re lucky what do you how do you is there a stop like and then why are you terrified of that like oh shitt what if like now if I fucking skip Monday me what. It is for my job I love my job is to tell stories I love stories and I told my mom when I was younger but I don’t need to be rich or famous I want to play with my friends or just make a living and it’s just been amazing
no no don’t know know I know what sells but I was having my back at 1 also have a brain so I create things and I try not to I try as hard as I can not to but I like a look in the mirror and I’m like okay like an a-cup be kept getting a judgment like we all look at our bodies and we go there and like you and then there’s these people who like fucking like what do you mean these people I mean you like like like like like you have a regimen one of them guys like fucking like you got you you’re in the zone like you’re doing you’re healthy as of then you look in the mirror and then like I’m just wondering like do you like isn’t there like a
like a dust bowl behind you like how does that count as the human body work I don’t know how does that work like I do you have to be when you go to the gym are there in 70 year old dudes that are like just stops producing as much as they used to and so you’ll do your body starts to die basically where it starts to not being as spry and agile that used to be but if you just keep that I was told that spoonful of sugar or it’s like if I do this I’ll feel good and I can do what else I want to do during the day and also it helps me with my job to sell what my product is is being that big bad guy I meet people out there I go now my God I hear I saw you in this or that you’re a murderer and you scare the crap out of it when I meet you in person you’re a human being I’m like yeah we all have skills if I like lost because like we all have skills in different areas when no one’s better than anybody else do what you love and try to move forward
you went when is what age does your body died what age do we need to know who the Doctor Klein okay so I’m 43 so so so I can eat Pringles for breakfast for another year and then just start working out and then people okay well my day was okay
awesome
what
Rob is now off of the home audience protecting murder himself as well as a gun loaded with stolen Focus
it’s it’s something prisoners use when they’re deprived of
it was long as you keep using your muscle like I mean the muscles in general like with you with writing that you using your brain that you whatever you use it will stay active in my opinion I hope the most crash way to phrase the thing is it is it like like like like obviously if I keep doing what I’m doing I’m going to die sooner and look worse the whole time and it all and I’ll never like the longer I wait the harder it will be for me to start just like being healthy and I’m just wondering on the other there’s this other railroad track right to you one of my friends that I’ve known for decades of going like I was just wondering like what is your real Roadtrek look like like like what are the hazards like like like what are you worried about do fit people like is there anything is there ever a point where the tool start using you is there ever a time that I think shamelessly I kind of
I guess want to hear yellow yeah it’s it’s it’s the worst I don’t like I don’t want to do it but it’s also my job so I have to hang if I’m not working somewhere okay Jim and train but you you have to stay up all night like anything in life is that what you’re you’re getting at more Midwestern the principal was always a former wrestling coach I didn’t have this big big giant guy if you stop using it but I like how people identify with things so if they identified that’s who I am I’m the guy who’s been talking to Suzie logically I’m talking about like what is the yearly physiological not like what what we should I wear value system should I say I’m talking about actually like how does that shit work like if you if you’re fucking like if you look awesome and I like
like like like putting all that work into it is there a is there a is there a fucking like is there an anxiety to that that sets in where it’s like oh shit like now I look so awesome that like now I’ll look like Dan Harmon if I stop tomorrow I don’t know what I’m trying to ask if you’re really muscle-bound you have to be careful with that big X football coach belly that’s really hard like a watermelon that like like muscle turns to fat kind of course not you seem like like I’m since I’ve known you would just now what three four years I how I how long 3-4 years
do you maintain a certain steady physique like you don’t like what you like it if I ate what I wanted to like my favorite thing in the world is like a 4 a.m. burrito it’s the greatest thing in the world like a bunch of bulshit like after you drink all night long I got a big ass belly I would like to send her a card from home from Homestar Runner
tall skinny with a giant belly like this is fucking like I have to curb here’s your secret but you won’t do this cuz you’re not being like I am by suits that you love and if you can’t fit in them stop it stop doing what you’re doing get back in the suits don’t don’t let him out like like I do and if I say if I can’t fit in them then exercise and diet get get it back on a dress sizing your goals and where you want to be a concrete more attainable that also as you get older I got to say it sounds dumb yoga you need flexibility and Agility in your joints and stuff like that like when you do that stuff you can spring up and down staircases like a gazelle
everything is crank and crank every time you engage that Muslim if you don’t undo that are that your Titans are to get that be that old person hunch and what not it’s not good for the body hurts
hey what’s up man this is opening my eyes to something you know I know I don’t know why I think I support yoga pants in every possible way you look a little green lemon came along and made everybody money flooded into an area of fashion / exercise the in the show this new form of pants was because I never liked it looks like stockings
dichotomy of things that made you look good versus things were comfortable but this is something that’s comfortable to me why didn’t they what technology did the what did they find out in Space the Lakeland OPP Houston we found a stitch that have you tried stretch jeans for men in Europe and I try these pants are Levi’s button that’s why we can possibly cover
who’s got a question for either a a lifelong cinematic stuntman / monster slash in the background / drill with you okay
DanTDM playing as a question
dried fruit Prince theory of masculine identity I think that everyone has their guy who is like kind of a guy like weirdo and a prince whose like a piece of royalty and you got all those pieces in you he said you got a little bit of goon what’s your guy part and what’s different
alright my guy part. The Macho side of background and not professional but but fighting Venom and whatnot and trained martial arts for a long time my prince part is I try to be like that that philosophy to be good to everybody and might have been also whatever people are going to be like Horicon autograph signings for different fans here and there and why I love to do something out of the social media I’ll see so often people aren’t happy with how they look or how they feel about themselves and I try to empower people going like man like I grew I was a different kid man I had no hair why was either people thought he had cancer or the skinhead no grown up with a cool to be bald and white
an adult now and Empower people to go whatever it is that makes you different step on that gas pedal like no one is like you and and and love you for good love yourself for who you are so I love like meeting some of the other guys or what they see some of my roles as a book being like super to go to bar fights and smash people in the face of McMahon you right now you’re wearing a mask of insecurity because like you’re trying to be macho there’s no reason that I were all human beings like Express how you feel and move on
I meant doing like cuz there’s like that there’s a villain there’s like
there’s guns behind them are either a monster or a guy pulling out a window on fire or a goon behind somebody question could be a question, what’s going on
I sent some emails
Derek’s
athletes and even playing like the bad guy but you ever like have got to do part of you but just you really want that leading role had a deal where you not to repeat that on the next time I’ll do the TV projects but my my mentality is normal face in and do a monsters people are sometimes a lot of attention if your question or does it bother you that you look we can’t tell it as you wasn’t one of those ghost Brothers
there’s like old-school Predators like a little boy want some candy
I want some I want some candy and better and when I get to ask that question what is a bother you but your face is covered up or somebody likes bigger roles I’m not bothered by that all because my job is to tell story of the service that story and don’t remember me remember the characters when you watch it when you watch a Sia
text babe what do you what do you watch Hansel and Gretel by the way B plus like it’s a real good movie that’s going to bounce off of me because I’m picked on to the that movie are you like do you have PTSD or do you are funny that you bring this up because of a fan is good night too
because I was on a van just sent me a thing because AMC just played it for the first time and they showed like the back some of the interviews and behind-the-scenes and they had a whole segment about me talking about the Edward character and literally I’m watching it cuz of my arm like I said I got up between MI5 is a herniated disc in my whole arm atrophied and took about a year to heal and I’m going like the German doctors in like they’re getting a spinal like multiple spinal injection shots overseas and you’re like the mercy of what might be better for the doctor’s name translated eye doctor creepy or doctor sneaky and Everybody’s Talkin in German so you can if you know your little that little bit of Germans and experiments
I thought I might lay in there that I know Let it Go German your body in his okay here comes he would say weird things to three.
What is the answer your question did you actually like remember like fucking I like what you’re watching the are there are there are there must be I can’t believe that which is the most be the worst part is that it’s like that means that it could have been with a character is like eating and like doing a thing in your life that was 50 takes like I know there is also an actor you have like we know what you want to do for the scene you made the characters and Spectrum ocean who made this incredible piece of Machinery like a jet fighter pilot when I get to wear that fly that’s amazing thing you have to pre think what’s going on and communicate going to see what’s going on the scenes is my arc in the seniors the emotion this was happening and you have to map out because I couldn’t control my hands and I couldn’t control my mouth that you saw the mouth
care to the mouth open the whole time so they can close it and so as you’re just sitting there and cup literally cooking your breathing your own carbon dioxide so you’re not getting fresh air to fuel your muscles in your brain and there were times around just like pasta I would like just laying on the ground and I just like Brandon will come over and give me some water or something all right. Hey man it’s me Jeremy Renner you need some water please get some water
Jeremy Renner does his weird Barrio accent
it’s because Jeremy Renner auditioned for that part and got the part of Hansel I was offended
53 year old breathing your old carbon dioxide it’s me Jeremy Renner
do you need some water man breathing on your own carbon dioxide looking through your own mouth hurt meeting busy if you can we can we do a quick commercial for Jeremy renner’s new Mexican restaurant
hey I’m Jeremy Renner have two incredibly play that that Goblin think he’s breathing out of his own oxygen we got plenty because we got so much water we got the heater’s gluten-free options for you and and everybody gets a free tablecloths and come on down with the kids meet the troll man from how to train a dog
I just got up Jeremy right now you can’t free picture of water but you can bring your own mouth that’s her maternity
Arab tribe
traffic resident I was Jeff Davis terrible restaurant music
Jack Harris everybody
thank you so much
Jeremy Renner

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