Episode
Episode: 104 – Death To Superman
Description
Its just Mayor Harmon, Jeff and Spencer and Dan catches you up in World Cup corner and later, Dan improvises his own Superman movie. In D&D, the gang becomes a literal gang and finally loots.
Transcript
the real crush it tonight you guys I’m so fucking tired I just got a plane and no my God all right here we go I’m going to be a good one because I just don’t care
Everywhere I Go Again, Hollywood California
5th Bank
yeah yeah yo thank you why why why I always ask this why why so many of you what’s the what’s the deal Game of Thrones is over
that was it last time yeah you know I was out of town movie update check my Edge of Tomorrow in a second I went inside Edge of Tomorrow tonight and but there was a trailer
I’ve never been more excited about a movie that didn’t involve people blowing up Robert Downey jr. is going to play Robert Duvall’s son at a movie about a lawyer that goes back home and Robert Duvall is do you see the trailer every trailer I saw for the last 2 minutes with your Godzilla nature tomorrow every trailer was about robots and ship blowing up which is my that’s what you need to get a rise out of me but I was like Robert Downey Junior’s what is Robert Duvall’s his dad his dad’s a judge
I’m done fucking in Man movie whoever wrote that movie if you got those actors to be in your movie my favorite living actor going to be signing up for that tomorrow which is apparently we can’t fully commit to a Time bending like action movie apparently for the last half-hour you definitely just have to go no Bahamut I’m just saying but profound that movie we’re just very accurate for everyone to say it’s Groundhog Day sci-fi but the thing that you don’t know when you hear that is that I think it’s like a sequel to Groundhog Day
like it picks up where is the James Cameron like Ridley Scott made Groundhog Day and then this is the James Cameron this is Groundhog’s Day days and doesn’t if that doesn’t mean more groundhogs and more days it it means something more important than that it means having more profound about our relationship with time and mortality. It’s actually really really fucking cool age he went nuts when he believes in the word bougie bougie bougies and but he’s fucking badass in that movie is it it’s like Tom Cruise again
chakras are you listening
what’s that you almost certainly listen to this record I don’t know but that’s really that’s as far as me having something on my notepad I had it says rsj as Robert Duvall’s son I’m assuming that means Rd
is there a Jason’s on the keyboard are really excited about that judge but was Robert Downey Junior’s a lawyer
I want to die. I can’t wait to see this movie if there’s no bad Robert Duvall movie for my money either no bad nasty things I approve of oxygen
alcohol and rsj
and Iron Man
I insist I feel like
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out while actually. But you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures and blackston amount each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film earth like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Blacksburg, but Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
we are making Spencer up for this conversation cuz I want I want to catch him off-guard I want to talk about something we just have Spencer come out early and just to have my
Cedric Richmond
you could you cool sitting there I got caught and then nail yeah it was it sharp to cut it was the head the head
now I’m your king
nail
Excalibur Legacy he’s the king of a really tiny Kingdom believe that all take it not rule anybody out the United smother you really wanted to talk about Linguistics shoot all right so I’ve never talked to you about this ever this is a thing I’ve noticed it hasn’t spread to Jeff and I don’t know who started it I don’t know who patient zero of this linguistic
fingers for all I know it started with me spread to you for all I know it started with you spread to me might have started with Aaron but I’ve noticed it with me you and Aaron
starting sentences with
I mean I mean
who started it started. That feels like a Spencer isn’t to me better than us
Medela fitting shoes okay so do you guys remember episode 1 L bottle of sleepy candy near near is someone from which I drive a lot of my vocal regulations and regular ization yeah such as regulation
I mean yeah but yeah I know I think that he does that and I don’t think I did too much but I think that I did it more I think you do it I do it that time I think that I am I today that’s all I also definitely say that Aaron’s has a lot and I felt for all I know Aaron started I got it from her I will spread it to Spencer but for all I know also other way around I have no idea I feel like it’s more of a few dates but my memory of her saying that you think it’s possible Spencer are you saying that you got it from him you know what I mean I wouldn’t be surprised to be surprised if I got it from hair and I mean you know she said that she sent it to everybody
I did for me I would get the money on Aaron that sounds like an errand thing we were talking about this we were talking about the prefects I mean and in the suffix though as in I mean this though it’s actually a full like an emotional thing like you could point it a fire hydrant and go I mean this though but the interesting thing is there’s nothing you can visit me information pick up everything that you’re sitting the way you’re saying it I mean this though I meant by saying though is that Evans you kind of look like
I’m not I’m not sure about the I don’t know if my brain is moving fast enough to know if they agree with that look listen at the end of the day I hate to think of some of the stuff we hate because we noticed it but we all if there’s anybody here who doesn’t use those things great on them but also the interesting thing is that I think I mean a lot and I actually like I’m looking back at the last 6 months or a year of going I mean and I actually like I just feel the way about it like I do about Instagram
it’s bringing me closer to people
I feel like if I didn’t have that canopy over my sidewalk cafe son would be harsh but I might my dad says my dad is at the time selling them is a Time stall until that time
inspector I think saying I mean is like it’s an is a non non sweetener is a year in the space like you’re saying you’re implying like I just said like like I shouldn’t have said likely what could it hurt the I mean which is like grabbing your belly and like this is me this is like like we’re dripping into each other the way we talk to each other I mean you know what I mean Zoe
interesting to me I remember reading something that that I did what does that mean I remember reading something that’s another one I’m just reminding you that I did the last since the last time you saw me I haven’t been standing here like C-3PO shut down I went off I read maybe a Newsweek article that someone tweeted me maybe we don’t know if that guy’s information was research but but but I remember reading somewhere about communication with its it’s so incredibly
tiny fraction of what we say to each other is syntactical the actual words that we say they mean so little it obviously is vital there’s absolutely no way to communicate with each other without the words we say but the words we say I could say the word fire hydrant to you that would make you understand that I don’t like you. I’ve had it with you like we when we enter into relationships with each other week trip into each other we’re still amoeba we’re still just multicellular organisms in weight between vibrate are around us but that is so interesting to me like we have these little Panda peas and slap some spoilers on everything that we do another language
like Italian say there’s a list one word that means tons of things like today and I actually was reading a book right this is a woman writing a letter to a German in Second World War II episode In This World War II detective novels you the best I bet her and she says Germans not that great emperor Charles V said I speak
I speak Spanish to God Italian to women French Two Men and German to my horse
but you are the heart the fucking run that sounds really interesting thing the idea that language is never meant to be you know one channel or another like you yeah I mean that’s your that was your take away was that your actual take a look at that was I think her point was that she’s making fun of him from America let’s just get you over here because because you’re so cynical and so direct and like things have one meaning like it in American English kings have all sorts of intonation Zen’s and subjects and things like that I just horses like German so shity the horse and speak it if I were a horse to use a subjunctive and someone tried to try to get me to run in Italian
on white racism right now
speaking of which let’s do a World Cup Sports going on
then the World Cup boy what a World Cup I’ll start off by saying I was on the road this last weekend bus rides we watched every minute of the World Cup so far is that cup was extra narrow blade
today today then yeah I’m sure like all Americans you have strong feelings about you and pay for the World Cup today everyone knows it
that’s part of what makes it extra more important than the already totally important World Cup is that America was part of the World Cup today I know I know who do you think they’re going to make it out of the group stage are there not done no imagine the edge of the afraid of hearing soccer scores today
I was running scared cuz I was on a plane during the during to the matches and I had to I had to make it home and now and hoping nobody’s like some guy didn’t go there instead of holding a sign that says Davis it it it says
today was a big day in World Cup football with a call football history I think that how many more games to go to during the group stage play Germany draw get some through a big deal so you the US 1 of course they were winning the going to be the best victory of all time and they lost it in the last kick of the game of that it was a draw to the last kick of the game and it could have if they’d wanted they would have been Advanced to the to The Knockout stage and you’re the sports now I can’t get anybody to do it yet
get on the bed a little better
I guess I guess I did okay
what do you think the who do you like which country do you think that the best in the world cup of people need to reset it doesn’t work like American football
World Cup euro is possible to be in the cup with other teams it’s not about brackets and this team beat the other team it’s like we’re all in the cup together
eventually it does come down I’m not being naive eventually does come down to two teams but it’s very worldly and they go they go down there in the cup and it’s in that cup which I think is amazing it’s a World Cup and it’s about time the US was in it
great
your hands what do you think about the home Nations job so far as posting this I mean they’re doing what they can there
I don’t mean that they’re the home Nations right now from that reaction
I mean it
handling themselves very graciously as a guest of the home nation by going up that red carpet and and competing in that soccer stadium when I say soccer I use it colloquially I know it’s about football and spelled wrong guy dies at Lycoming
I think that I think that is great I think it’s a great of the whole nation that you’re talking about like
long gone are the days of accusing them of harboring Hitler
outside these stereotypes of child porn
orwellian Futures Terry Gilliam
we think of the European super powers and a couple of already been shamefully knocked out know who do you like him to do the European granddaddy superglue their great they’re graded football
I know that’s a trick question
cuz I can tell so fuck you in a minute
you’re like a really shity Mentalist
that was a big fan of soccer
it’s crazy that USA still in still in that big cup with the world yeah I’m going to not be underestimated
underestimate Argentina
play the McGavin and muscles in the middle of the Cavs are kicking the ball to use their hand in Argentina
what’s the best Soccer Nation Argentina they’re cooked continual World Cup champions
Argentina has won a World Cup 1978 really appreciate Argentinian soccer I think you’ll agree or disagree because you know that you have your the fact that this is a South American country hosting that’s a surprise you. And Central America that really what you we shouldn’t ever not possibly under estimate schedule or South America
might have a football team in the world cup currently to look at the big picture of soccer the history of soccer okay this is you had the panamanians
what are they now
they know canals there not
we’re not going to soccer Ecuador but not good enough
I think they were in the cup briefly this time
it hurts me when he trying to get my World Cup
report and he comes in as like I said that
the Aztecs
I’m not saying I still have a country at the old La indoor soccer club for the 1980s
look at the end of the country like north of God damn it is what it is at the end of the day it is what it is south of that you have Central America which a lot of people don’t understand
so I think chili is going to win the World Cup this year
try to talk to me really well
they really are a Costa Rica are looking fuckingawesome
what’s up
chili my buddies are killing
how do you know the risk of America Africa
all right. My boy my dog barks at my Gardner and then I’m like I don’t know what
I got to work all right that’s it that’s all I got to talk about it
hey guys hey you know recently we had a harmontown movie screening do you remember that
yeah I mean I wasn’t trying to encourage one of those PD Applause or whatever but nothing’s changed for you since that movie premiere didn’t know but you okay so remember the Q&A the guy the guy he’s like the never he he brought us all up and then he was like you know someone told me a story about how you and Neal first met he was going to pizza joint and it wasn’t yeah and you you told him that like right off the bat you’re like yeah that’s what that was wrong and then like he got mad really like weird about it that’s just what I heard like yeah yeah I remember that
indignant about it was like no you have pepperoni
give me right now but yeah I don’t know that was a good time do you remember at the LA film festival with all the cash came out and then you got more Plaza me yeah yeah
I was hoping I wouldn’t have to bring that up I’ll bring it up I’ll bring it up Spencer did do a good job of that character who am I chopped liver Spencer Crittenden to the fucking crowd like they would they Rose to their feet
I’m not actually sick
I actually think they would clap play pretty loud for dead baby but but but that’s what I felt like I was like like one of the Jawas
are they and they and they kind of staggered and they’re like Spencer and everyone’s like that and then I was like and of course the titular character
maybe they were all clapped out from Spencer
and I don’t need to have you ever been torn between I guys funny cuz I’m 41 I should have a son Spencer’s age
gun correctly according to the midwestern tradition I would I would have you as a son nice
and I still Wheels to write I mean
so I kind of like to have a kid science fair saying other part of you that’s like he did it he did it
cuz you’re like what else do I do
I’m sorry I made it dark I didn’t mean to I didn’t mean if any if anybody was worried with that ever happening
one doctor one doctor can you knock this out and if he’s like waiting.
every way by leg hurts all right this is depressing
I’m going to pull it I don’t think there’s anything in there I’m really excited about Robert Duvall playing I’m going to be honest with you that was just part of that old linguistic saying like some people say Aaron was saying that I was talking about that with her just like people say going to get beyond the whole idea of Lego I hate that we should never do that stuff it’s just something that we do sometimes we do it there’s people out here who have abused
I have used the phrase I’m going to be honest with you to wonderful effect
I’ll give you an example
to this guy that does this thing it’s called what the hell is it called surveillance camera man was talking about
the man who deals with Savannah’s cats are a good person bad person if you don’t just assume he’s a bad person sounds like he is he just take the camera he’s just goes up and get some people’s faces did you stand there with a camera that’s what people can see the cameras to Montage of people looking and going what are you doing
stop it all of this behavior is good or bad all of which is faster turns the this kid has I mean I think this kid is just going through a phase that we all went through but he has access to more technology than we 48 years old what matters is that the chit has effectively like like regardless of what he’s doing the end result of of what you’re watching is that you’re going to see Humanity as if you’re a scuba diver
outside of coral reef High feathers fish that gather around you and are angry at you to gather around you if there’s fish that have coarse dark the other way come at you with a circle you for a second and then darted you and try to get your mascot if there’s fish that is in everything in between will open the back door of a Burger King and walk into the kitchen and it’s just a POV of walking through a fucking Burger King in the kitchen with eight people cutting lettuce flipping burgers and every person who walks by it’s like they’re all brontosauruses in Jurassic Park they all look at him and then go back to chopping
and then one guy I’ll come up that’s why I was like excuse me hello because he thinks he does that then that means there’s a camera that goes into a laundromat there’s a guy sitting at a table at a laundromat of the guys are sitting at the table the laundromat and he’s watching them and then just as it sits down at the table in the laundromat across from him the guy goes from totally just sitting there watching the camera to Flippin out flip the table of into the camera
Haitian guy with a chair
and all this guy ever does this guy is not a good person not a good person is a scuba diver a good person that goes in and like looks with no not good get out of there. You shouldn’t be there don’t be there I hope it’s a kid because that seems like a like a good like 17 16 year old kind of in Stacy it feels like a phase that we all go through what I went through when I was but the interesting thing about it is like I never get to it because some people are grabbing at the camera like literally just like match the guy the face like like like like like like like Spencer in 30 years I’ll give you 30
this guy came up to him and it says just cuts to this guy but this is scared of the camera and he’s waiting for something to get him and then he goes and walks out of a car villain is a reaction to somebody dehumanizing you you know none of the people who are on this video are good or bad people that but the incredibly The Epiphany I have my god I’ve just been given permission to look at people as if they are animals
because some of them are
violent animals and some of them are pacifistic animals and some of them are heard hurting around him he’ll be like in the middle of a Target and that is stupid people so you crushing on him. What are you doing hey what are you doing can you check my score of an alpha male for hours but you never seem to meet this guy and I’m making a video but I think he dropped it here like he is such a burn, without that you go like he doesn’t want to be on this piece of shit in the world let’s assume he’s like three Columbine he’s ready to listen to his chest but what what what what I all I know is that what is that the content that’s coming out the other side
I think is Art because I am like like I’ve never I’ve been I’ve had to watch people on YouTube a lot and I’ve never been so fucking fascinated which is really interesting and all he does is just say nothing and just get in people’s faces and with his camera I don’t know I don’t know it would be once again Tuesday one thing on Wednesday
your
what are you do you steer standing outside the drawing room on your phone
Midway you’re not drunk yet you had a few who am I talking to on the phone and then you hang up the phone and now you’re you’re not talking about it now you said you’re taking the moment nice day out in California and you you’re going through Instagram is or through tweets or whatever this person in let’s say I comes up negative at this guy usually gets if he’s allowed to he gets a foot and a half if it doesn’t if he didn’t have a camera with him it would be weird and I don’t know this could be a whole it doesn’t matter
call Erin so I’m outside the dragon camera comes up and go
hi
I just got two stands there and doesn’t do anything this is what often people enjoy their hello what are you doing what are you doing some people go and I don’t think these people are bad people at all they go
camera goes black big punch him they grabbed his camera and then he Fades back like I’m like a bird and then move it back at
Rocky Balboa I don’t want to lose this person I don’t think what he’s in a row I thought you done 10 seconds of what’s going on I would I would go but I think it would do it happens as you leave there I can just got off the phone with Erin I’m not in a fight with Aaron I’m not in a bad mood I’m not feeling insecure about what I write and in my life it’s he’s a stranger to me he’s holding a camera in my face I would go I would do it it would be like hey what are you what are you doing what are you doing after a while I would I would try to find his
exhaustion point I would I would be like
banana and I want to stress that’s being a good day and you got a call from you know the new retaining call from a judge or lawyer or of me being all over the headlines online with a Chevy Chase I just knew that was a Paparazzi coming
Anna and the guy ability to stay there and I and I
I think you should always do that whatever happened
stranger
any relationship with cameras at all and that’s the most interesting thing is that we we we all have protocols that we initiated when we feel like something strange is happening to us and the cameras dehumanize us and what we invented them to try to capture Humanity so we’re used to using these things we wouldn’t really see that we’re coming up laundry machine for me at the unspoken part of what some of them are saying when they like smash the camera is is like
when I’m ready to have a camera on me I’ll be really fucking not have my shit together I’m going to say some amazing things and I’m going to do something strange been stirred my own interpretation because I’m coming from a specific place I think it feels like I don’t I don’t know if he’s 15 2548 he might have a fucking leg tiger scars down his face looks like a fucking monster and has a camera what what I’m seeing on the videos is the equivalent of like if you took like goggles and didn’t even strap him to the back of your head but just put them in the Caribbean Lake
Coral Reef in like just that you’re Alice in the looking at people I don’t like it ran away I’ve been asked several times to get show TV show and a few other things that were hidden camera shows I did what I did Jamie Kennedy experiment I don’t like it I don’t like ambush-style stuff like that cuz they tended it was somebody kind of has to lose a little bit and it’s funny when someone loses and why would we were on Venice Beach during his bits on Amazon for like six episodes long time ago and Venice Beach and there’s a place across the boardwalk that was where the kid hidden cameras were there was a guy dressed as a bomb that was a cameraman so he’s laying buys those cameras everywhere and I had glasses on early days like camera like in the in the middle of the glasses and I had I was selling stuff but I did this ones that I can make it funny kind of its I was selling a dolphin jerky and people get really bummed out of
what are the sticker on it with a picture of it
but there is one we’re selling and it was Che Guevara Guevara bass serial green clovers and blue stars whatever the fuck it was not like Hammers and sickles and then revolutionary stars and three girls come up and they’re like kind of tough like like I would describe like if I could like guess what their lifestyle was anarchists are like very left-leaning possibly lesbian like really lots of piercings very very very intellectual and also like a little bit of L A Street tough kind of you know like I didn’t come from my black privilege everything and make him up and they were instantly just fucking bummed out about it and I haven’t ear speaker or whatever they call a earwig things and I have the producers saying like
in the hills of Chiapas
Cubans invented cereal
I got to get this is a communist products XX through and through it is it is a very weird Lefty red is a is a kid a Cuban and he eats cereal in every scene because she looked like she was just staring at me she wasn’t buying it I meant you saw the little. Instead of my glasses and she saw it was a camera and then she realized that she was on TV show and she looked at me and she gave me this look at you
McGregor
Harrison lifestyle living is they do crazy shit in the boardwalk they make funky art or they roller skate and play guitar or they’d make sand castles and and he wanted me to come out there with a leaf blower and just talk around solutely not because that’s not funny to anyone but it has whole another guy in the casket at guess who I wasn’t in the show cuz I don’t want to fucking murderer I don’t like that stuff but you did have to leave Florida
what is a really good shot at it and never heard of him dancing with the Hardy Krishna guava leaf blower
like hi Chris is a lot more when I think about cameras being on me all the time I look like I actually
I would like to be part of a fairy tale where I learned that this isn’t true that I actually feel like the more the better like I feel like like the strange perverse likely I just feel I feel emotionally like somewhere at the root of all of my developmental experience there is so much people catching you doing things people saying you do what you were that way you that you do that and throughout your adult I mean if your wrist though
if you’re lucky enough to to move forward in your adult life that you can slowly like those things become jokes they become stand-up that they become sketches they become poems they become Tumblr blogs they become things thank you you you don’t shed them you actually drank them around you like feathers and some amazing cloak and you start to fly with them I know that it’s probably there for not healthy to say everybody just fucking gather around me but every camera you have fun make let’s all go to bed together fucking try try as hard as you can to catch me not being a good person I bet you can’t do it feels to me like a subversive act what do you think you’re going to catch me doing what do you think you’re going to catch me thinking everything that I think I say do you really really think that you did you live in a world where everyone around you is
going is it hiding things from you and are you there for hiding things from everyone to me to me very very slowly start to peel these masks the way can we talk to each other can we see each other and so is every Twisted relationship with surveillance the cameras I don’t want to fucking NSA watching these you a laptop do want fans up in my grill I do want documentaries made about me I want I wish I wish that I could create an orbit a fucking cameras around me I wish that I could be true men in The Truman Show that compulsion and I always wonder lake lake lake people who feel that way cuz we let those people who stay there on reality shows and they cut each other up a pretty choker and suitcases and their kids are crazy lately they want to be Superstars like what is that party you wish that you were an actor and that you hope that you’re the kind of guy that you went to Little Dom’s lb Paparazzi everywhere no not at all because it’s not
artifice it’s I’ve been through that it just the worst terrible diaphragm dilated I just why I did I did I just don’t want to ever experience ever again being the last person to know that I’m weird I just want to be the first person to say this is who I am like that that like I don’t I never I never actually felt that bad when people beat me up on the playground the thing that really made me feel bad was when the other guy came up and said don’t beat him up just because he’s been heedless this shit that you should be ashamed just because he’s dirty and stinky and gross and he pees with his pants around his ankles of the year
it wasn’t like I was trying to find out from a d m v
Verizon
God from government
going to be the guy that tells you who I am I’m not going to ever be like like standing in front of the tribunal and be told that I have to go to the Phantom’s I choose to go to the Phantom so I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me but I hate Superman is a piece of shit
take me to Donald’s stupid note to good sleep well I’ll tell you and then I’ll be safe I’m not going to do anything bad to anybody
hours and got a job at a paper won’t tell anybody this morning glasses do you need everything
Superman Loves and fucking Lex Luthor that’s the only they like they that is the I didn’t even do anything why am I being scouted out a deal with life on Earth is Superman think these fucking people know how hard it is to be Superman
picture of a Harvard graduate
he pretends he’s from the Midwest
aren’t you can figure out how to beat you
a human with my knowledge I might have to scour the universe
I am stupid
make me strong
you know what that mean bro I know no man on your planet even has hair loss
I thought he looked in the mirror and was like but I bet I could be more Super but I don’t I don’t know I don’t like that mythology I don’t like it so good
what year was what year did the first Superman come out 70s 78 so you were here you saw it you are you working
how do you root for Lois Lane you do it for the good humans in it and then he is the he is the forest spend flying fucking fuck
the only thing I listen to previous episode realize I never understood it was created little Jewish Brothers they were they felt powerless and they created at a time when that really meant something they were expressing something important you need to actually go I appreciate Superman finally but I’m Superman can play fuck that guy if you were approached and said write a Superman movie do you think you could make a Superman movie that would make it to the movie Jeff
honestly I have to try to pick Superman for us right now. All right all right
fading Alle Starfield
West Houston matter convention bank teller
it’s hard to work at a bank
all right I guess I’ll just work at the bank again for the hundred fifty a day in a row no actual take
you put your black ribbon he’s a bad person
nnnn nnnn nnnn in a bad economy you have to add that
Minority
you know it’s rude to
ask for things without permission you fucking faggot pansy why you wearing a second games games Blue Jays I hate gay people outfits
that’s all I have to wear I didn’t wake up try to make you happy
close up of the bullet
next time I suggest you explore your hatred of people who are different from you through more healthy beans than rub your back and Superman logo called open by Dan Harmon
I’ve had enough
come out of the title secrets you didn’t think you’d ever see that guy again but you do is not his face is Chris Pratt he steals this movie
thanks Superman for arresting another bank robbery I guess this guy is kind of hates gay people I don’t get it really myself
come to my office sure Lieutenant if you’re not going to try to confine me to it and revealed a giant robot spider we’re all agreed that you’re in control of the population
just us ants like making sure it works I just would like to pretend that you’re human and sit down with you and talk to you detect a little bit of a battle isn’t going to last conversation whether it’s sit down ever need to sit
I know that if you and I had a standing contest I’d turn into a skeleton just humor me
I I can sense you.
Sorry sent out who plays this loaded Lieutenant this is Gary Sinise
Superman by Travis to fold
drop crime which you have eliminated keep the peace which your exacerbating what do you mean
everyone hates you what do you mean you’re a pajama Man From Outer Space
people that if you work hard enough you can become good you drifted in from the clouds in her better than anyone can ever be every time someone tries to do something you beat them up with your eyebrow police chief this poses a problem for me in the long term I would like you to take a break I would like you to go somewhere just let the city should feel what it feels like to be human again but I thought people like just trust me go away just go away go sit on a rock in a bag and eat it
would you care about Humanity
go fuck off
I’m afraid I can’t do that so you just said you did Superman I’m going to rub my iPhone about a hit record this conversation is that okay well I have a photographic memory a motherfuker
motherfuker I didn’t say that tell me you refused to leave tell me you refused to leave I live here
asking you to leave do you hate crime of course I don’t think this is happening still because of you you you you make everyone feel weak everyone to keep acting out can you take a break can we have a parade when you’re not around should we be flawed to is going to be rough around the edges can you go away do you have a mother do you want to tell me who Gary Sinise
my baby might be me
I I I I I need to hear more people than you say this
get out get out I don’t understand I don’t understand I’m better than everyone
you can’t understand. Does it get out okay I’m leaving I’m leaving
two weeks later Superman’s chosen Island where the indigenous population was just left
I guess I’ll eat another coconut by opening it with my laser eyes oh yeah I don’t need to eat anything
here I am sitting both Superman on island 134
he probably just took money
you know what kind of an acceptable crime rate
this is great yes but the chief Superman’s you to come back next Thursday
shit
who can kill Superman Lex Luthor
how can you do it with this green knife OK Google do it with Nasir can you help yeah we’re happy to he’s also putting us out of business
Superman can’t lie was call about pay Superman or just talk like a dog and he’ll hear us
Yahoo
Kryptonite Kryptonite nice my super heart beat anymore because I’ve been stabbed stabbed him in their heart somewhere tonight
Jeremy renner’s new shaved head Jeremy Renner
it’s in the way that you use it
Jessica Superman the new Lois Lane in that movie
how old will bring it over Lois Lane Consulting
what do you mean I guess not
what about the people he saves throughout this time
only be grateful and feel bad like
Humanity was they’re going to show up every time cigarettes in trouble now that’s not say thing that’s
are you right now it’s a Google that was 20 minutes right movies an hour and a half
I like that you get back I’m out of breath
Magnum out alright Jesus Christ I just don’t think the supervisor compelling character a he’s born to gifted
is that a problem
but I do think knowing that it like you know if you know that the kids made them I think that’s heart-wrenching because they’re like what if you were fucking Superman and Jesus Christ and I got to take that away from you except you just did with us
becomes like the yeah you’re right now you’re right that is true but that’s no that’s a couple of the Jews have away from the superhero Superman fan I wouldn’t mind talking to you
he’s got a Mega Man t-shirt what’s your name Sir Eric Bolling you ever had a conversation with a bit as soon as that your earlobes have the earrings in them that where you widen your earlobes gauges into a mild gauge means like the whip
the night is young
track your fucking Mares
if I can get you a bigger gauge motherfuker
are you sick of those questions like your aunt your aunt Trudy will a sec I shoulda seen it on the 28th and I am your aunt Trudy and I’m asking you tomorrow let’s say you go forget it now what happens what does it do they shrink do they do they do tattoos do I have on my body permanently that like slightly year but do the earlobes I do a million things that people ask me why I do that sucks I I’m literally only asking because I I can’t I can’t at the bar I can’t go up to somebody and ask those questions so I thought I would take this opportunity because I would be a cool if I did that
I get a lot of likes and now he’s defended somebody making an impression of a Sprite soy Superman I see you at the car can type character going to stop home first then and there are folks who hate you for trying and they they they want the cartoon story of the man who like trying to be its best self and he isn’t a real person like her into a computer day but he was like that was his identity it wasn’t like he’s like now I’m going to hide is Clark Kent he grew up as Clark Kent and eventually form the Superman I never thought about it but
what’s it looking at Stephen Clark and I really like that like the different differently obviously that’s him trying to be his best self get home. Cuz he has the leg off but when we doing really interesting the idea that he might my question is what makes the characteristic does my question is at a certain point when he finally for the fifth time realizes that he can go anywhere live anywhere do whatever he wants he can he can make his nose make money so I like a component of his actual he’s like yeah but where is Home who am I you ever like I don’t know I just have a girlfriend who I love dearly it wasn’t likely to be kind of things like that
it’s kind of like a like a common person there’s nothing wrong with that but I wanted to do more I want to move to LA or one of those exceeded writing and this person was just someone who Catholic Emil kind of like Walmart job and that was very lonely for me I couldn’t relate to her and I see Clark Kent is that kind of like constantly ostracised by Lex Luthor it looks kind of like Twitter assholes personally like his only friend has Batman bad guy in the world of him is the side of his life because that’s him trying to be human to be loved and be like you just think of it as Superman in the side and talk to me like that that’s who he was in his yearbook at it when he has to go to the phone booth and become Superman is he bummed out about that is that is that a burden for him I think it’s wise as Superman
and he has to keep it separate from he is actually protecting Clark Kent I never looked at it that way all right I like Superman.
Call Eric everybody
he’s getting cuz we going to play Dungeons & Dragons how many how many characters do we need we got what we typically roll with four characters to look at that I see gender but let’s get a young lady up here old lady we need to get someone else’s Lois Lane appear or or somewhere or someone who is their own shiraa have more ovaries and testes that that wants to play D&D tonight no okay good fine
oh and I stood there I saw you what’s not unravel the whole carpet
are you going to your house
Susan bracker I thought I saw him come up with who is it
what’s your name Laura Laura Laura Laura Laura Laura and Eric okay thank you for coming up so that was so arduous forgot to listen to the episode so I don’t know what happened how did you forget I just got distracted then I forgot all about it okay and I’m not here listen to the D&D part at least just so I’m caught up on that but it is there one of you is Chris de Burgh and one of you is more and sadhana it’s all made up. Are you familiar with his characters a bit
probably more than that
all right have you ever the the quarks yeah grab yours off the top there will be girl the cleverly placed in your mall right
this is exciting stuff
you got mine too
take the top two sheets pass them down they were shorts podcast
car guys go there man
what’s really good
tell me about it
was the Super out of space but you have a man of episodes I didn’t think Dan to pick chili but in fact that they’re good this year I think that you use softened dance dance and Superman in about eight sentences from Superman to remember it that way that you’ve taken another chance because I never read and I think that I don’t think of course I’ve never read a Superman comic book I I am familiar with Superman from a certain perspective and I always identify with a Criminal because I never actually like and I was aware that he came down to earth and he was raised by these kids are at your parents
there was a tissue paper thin things that come through the movies do you think I’m big family, except the other microwave stuff and yeah that’s kind of like you and that’s a central idea that Lex Luthor can’t understand but like alongside you have it all himself and it’s really compelling them to think that they really delve into that Jeff what you were asking about I don’t think like they really dropped a ball with those opportunities because they don’t really provide a good case on why he’s alienated and stuff they just make it seem like it’s great and then in one scene it really sucks to be him and then it’s great again
Ultra copper teapot is super dad is correct superhero than Iron Man super superhero in Spider-Man I really related earned everything and pays the price through alcoholism
isn’t he like nothing no radioactive spider nothing like I I respect Spider-Man but you got bit by a spider I’m going to try them but his dad was like a real yeah you was raised pretty he was raised by Howard he lost yeah yeah he’s going to self an Iron Man thinks I was like almost right back okay alright good as Tony Stark but but not more and ran with it and he’s like
that’s a weapon like that father in your comics with me I’m making some for jealous
got to breakfast all right all right all right
last time on harmontown after getting to the floating Isle of paradise are heroes met with the island Guardian Angel and together cured Chris de Burgh of his possession however in the process they freed Admiral Darkstar with his new ghastly form Darkstar possessed yeomiji and assaulted the gang mercilessly Quark accidentally set the island on fire in Paradise begin falling from the sky acting quickly Moraine left for the portal catching the razor-sharp rim and pulling herself into Bill Maher tickets and with her role are and with our route managed to pull the rest of our heroes to safety hazard Dark Star flew away and is Heavenly Host our hero relish their Victory heading to the nearest tavern there they encountered sonomas in the small otamatone and after a brief discussion mo’reen held up the Gnomes with arbo snatching away the machines blueprints from the helpless gnome walk or grab the baby bot but what would they
do with the machine one if they got caught
What are gyros be able to escape from Bill Barth against with their robot or their lives let’s find out now
copper no matter over here what does a robot a baby they were for the baby robot baby blue baby blue robot blueprints rubber baby blueprint robot is there a baby brother just the blueprints to make a baby there’s also a big but then more rain held them up with her Beau and you grab the robot all right so I got the robot child it’s maybe two and a half feet tall it’s all silvery and it’s got empty eye sockets that are you know empty it also has a weird cavities chest like something
Coastal like fit in there
when you’re not going to do
you’re not going to ask me twice
hi Ty I don’t fuck the baby robots chest
yes
we’re a little bit more about this baby robot has kind of stand with their hands up all surrender style in there like I don’t know what to do an errand where they instigated this robbery
Savannah you could have made a purchase it or is it might have just given it to us or some shit like questions asked him like what the baby is in the bar
hey Jack Jack take it easy take it easy. Going to be okay hello I mean this is me talking yeah I wasn’t here so I hand the baby to you it wasn’t me that started this robbery so I don’t think
I was appreciated the opportunity to be between Adventures I certainly didn’t want to start a new one by robbing anybody and and even if I did even if I did I wouldn’t have robbed a baby
even even in a mystical Middle Earth realm that seems Over The Line
here’s your baby my name is Sharpie
I’m going to go over there and I’m going to I’m going to hang out by the Jukebox
alright I guess you give them their baby pack they want their baby bad baby bad baby suck you
there isn’t a jukebox I don’t exist guys I’d like to buy you all a drink for for seeming like I was going to steal your baby
I feel a lot better if you can get your friend to a lower lower both are not unknown people we have a Jack Russell Terriers are it’s like I got a predilection for like a blink dog like a dog have different predilection for a different leg obsessive behavior in wheat wheat we came in here for a drink and we just we just freaked out for a second but these guys are some Affinity there or am I still kind of a Potential Threat because of what what you guys really burn through that
who’s the owner of this baby oh that’s me which what’s your name my friend sorry about the whole long day for Paradise when we killed a big Angel thing or whatever this animal Dark Star has been up our dick for the fucking last couple years hard to connect with you guys emotionally
what will leave you two guys do your thing I say we get Lydia’s guys like we never do you know what I have the sack of nuts so I give him my nutsack I got a rope
really cuz you never know as you hand them 50 ft of rope you here behind you several footsteps several sets of footsteps we’re going to need that room if there’s a motherfukers creeping up on me I’m keeping the Rope
that’s what I did and it’s for the trailer
what’s the projector so you see behind you three three gnomes and walked in the front door they look they’re looking pretty cool cool dudes they’re all wearing lime green scarves on their necks will guys what’s up what are you guys doing
hey here to buy you a drink talk talk about being a gnome I got my gnome friend
we got we got we got gold we got silver we got stories we got we got gold for our own purposes we are robbing us
rough no I’m okay right up next to it like it’s meant to fit some sort of like maybe like a saucer-shaped yeah okay I’m going to fuck the baby everybody
yeah okay guys guys guys I swear I swear to God I promise you that if we fight you’ll lose
shrimping but but if you don’t if we don’t fight I will give you
what do I have wealthwise what do I have you don’t know if I will give you anything I don’t think we always forget to loot the people that we kill ya
I’m going to give you I’m going to tell you guys a riddle and if you answer the riddle correctly you can have everything that I have okay everything is all my clothes my you would you want to hear what you want to do the riddle I just want to take all your stuff anyway if you do the riddle and you guess it right you could get it without a fight this is Bill Maher against the town of cigarettes and riddles
alright so alright what is smaller than a human
but looks like a bloody skeleton
the bloody skeleton of a hiccup
that’s alright so let’s go we’re going to go past home now
flaming sword cleave attack
state which which is why I got the first two closest green scarf or a nose and I go for a Cleavon them with my Greatsword all right with the intent to clean but as you do so the two flanking the guy who’s been talkin loose like crossbows into your flesh like crap was one of them mrs. but the other does not miss and it hits you deal damage
at any rate you want yourself towards the Gnomes and slash you slashed the other ones neck his head pops clean on the other one you just hit let’s see how much damage is so critical hit it today + 708 now that’s just too. He’s also got hit in the same height
and I he just kind of falls down bleeding I guess he’s not dead though
you got your bow out
when I use that to attack one of the other gnomes you fire it at one of the other gnomes like the one that was talking or the one that’s bleeding or the other one
all right we got is not here yet
flies off if it hit you in the eye but not the the chit like you just decide if the shaft in the left eye your bowstring snaps it’s going to take at least a half-hour sorry that one was a critical failure so I have a smoke bomb we can ninja recover and grab the baby
Alicia smoke into the room you use this cover to grab the baby
what you do now you hold it in your hand I’m going to hide you Retreat into the Shadows Skirmish that’s going to look like if I’m successful
all right so the two guys that were already in the room before you came in they just cower in fear but the rest of the people aren’t really affected other than the Dead Guy
they’re just cowering into the first three guys over there they were affected the rest of the guys that are scared normal style but the cactus Bunch guy that the live he starts reloading is so yeah I didn’t even mention that he goes
you will not mess with the Cactus Bowl playing this whole thing for the whole reason that you guys are fucking pay me for the K you guys
okay is a matter of fact
yeah this is fucking Cactus punch from Whittier you slice these got this guy’s head off and now we won’t forget you guys the cactus punches don’t remember a face I mean we do we also don’t talk good
or spell cactus right guy starts reloading is a crossbow in the chatty guy you lunch is it a Sharpie with a with a knife drawn
and just like that that’s how his attack goes He stabs are next to you doesn’t do anything the rest of the guys are just scared in the corner
did you ever come back it sounds like you had something to say I said so not much sup with you
why not we stop fighting Oh Oh I thought you just talking to me talking about to slice you kick you in the chest
putting it out of Cork’s turn off lamen I come where am I in relationship to the guy that’s the chatty when they came in the door behind you at this point he ran out of carpeting close enough to the bleeding guy for a cleaner to the guy that Bleeding Through the neck and I I take the sword and go straight down from his head and put it as bifurcatum this is a slice of Manhattan life Rick hatem I’m going to buy for katom Swinging with your sword oh shit you bifurcatum into
I was also critical.
Add banana more rain Stern
no but your bow like you can’t you have to use a weapon other than your bow and what you wanted three strand what you think about grabbing your sword you swing at the Taki guy but you you miss him he he seems to really be back with some words ending with a different sort than that nothing is my face and the baby’s face and I hold a vial of acid over the baby and it’s cool and I like Samuel L Jackson the rest of the people.
I want to hear I want to hear the Samuel Jackson impression
play narwhal
so what you do that cowering gnomes that are all feared up they’re all like
we’re going to do it
I see you fronting now it’s personal
put it up this is business grass motherfuker
you grab them shockingly but he he managed to sway back with some chatty words like oh man your hand so electric I don’t care he sways back and then he lunges again towards you and he tries to whip his knife at your face yep he just throws it at you though he done hit you in the face
ceiling
that’s critical hit son being damaged find out what my Max health is I’ll tell you later
seems relevant 42in it’s 42 you’re probably at about 12 or 13
tiger with your face all blood up now he’s disarmed is nice in your face
how to get a quartz turn I run over to to Sharpie take the knife out of his face and plunge it in that mother fucker
and I and I and I put it in the same spot in his face but Sharpie got it or you would but you trip and fall on Sharpies face blood in the ground
the night’s just go skittering out the door
not today can I come can I get your ear out of moves out of the bar this time and trying to attack The Gnome that just threw the knife
attacking at The Gnome you shoot him right in the throat
and he takes eight damage alright choking on his own bloody falls to the floor going
anyway get that
what system kactusbunch bullshit and I know it’s not it’s not over the right everyone is dead except for people that are cowering in it so I just I hold the about ass over the baby and actually walk out for the door I have a few words
I can’t see anything right now because you can see and I can’t
my face has been stabbed but I will tell you when I can see I see a people don’t fuck with each other
maybe I’m an old dreamers I know what happened here today didn’t have to happen we got a little out of control we wanted to steal your baby week we stood down the motherfukers came in a box with us everyone’s dead now my name is face bleeding face blade I can’t see you I can’t feel you I never sympathize with you if I ever have to hear the name of this bar again it burns to the ground
for now be content for it to be coated in blood
you still my face
map that thank you
I go over there and take all that shit
can I put yeah yeah I know I told everything I put wear the scarf around my head like like like Ralph Macchio in Karate Kid and I put two on my leg like to Scott Baio
do you want these back you got to claim it from the new kactusbunch
I’ll tell you what I don’t know if anyone’s listening to me cuz I can’t see cuz my face is tab but I will tell you if something is tragically ironic about what transpired here today we didn’t come in here caring about Finance to the point where I didn’t have any these guys came in and asked for a goal but didn’t have any does that suggest anything to you we live in a world without without currency
bull Rings go to the equivalent of the cash register I can’t see anything I just want to ride everyone here if you can hear me and you’re not dead you’re lucky but you’re broke. There’s money places you’re going to be left alive I want you to tell your friends about us we love of money we love chilling people we love robbing people we love money
it’s not it’s nothing new or remember it the same old song
We Live robbing people
okay so I’m going to rain in the cash till finds three hundred gold pieces Chris de Burgh tries to mug these tries to rob these people but they don’t seem to have very much you got about 17 silver you were robbing the dead I was a cactus punch all of them are dead you already got their green bandanas but they also have a hundred and twenty gold between the two of our three of them and one of them has a strange stick colored with yellow and red paint who knows what that is
he also has a card that says kactusbunch
all right I go over there I don’t know how I’m looking at those sticks if he could you feeling Magic on this stick my blood is in my eyes feeling it do I have a
do I have a knowledge Arcana come on you said sit are can only but you don’t turn anything up it seems like a stick I wouldn’t throw it away I don’t think people walk around with them unless they’re valuable think maybe with a stick
alright so we got the stick we got some money you owe me to hang out of this trusted name I put my magic energy into it and I pointed at the wall
nothing I’m not going to call it a deal-breaker I just wanted to make sure that he has robot baby yeah it looks like there’s a little arrow that points to the whole cavity and then there’s no power power power just power through if we don’t have the disk to put in the thing
I look around with a disk in there in the river seasoning to put in there no dice I mean then how do you know man is your this world a saucer-shaped how big around is it is the hole in the size bigger than a stick they can give us information about what to put in the robot yeah they’re just they’re just cowering ask him whatever you want
ask them what we need to put in the robot I don’t know man we didn’t figure that part out we just bought things on The Gnome store it’s going to say the internet
all right be the Cliffhanger you guys fuck, I don’t care how long it takes
I don’t care what we have to do
you’re going to get used to seeing my face with a knife wound
you going to give us more information than that
the 3-inch stick on the plans at all no no
you bought a baby you don’t know how to power it know why did you buy this baby what was the purpose of these things you serve drinks why does it have to be a baby then
really I guess it’s just kind of look like a baby so you have a little baby
alright where are the same breed and everything but I’m we’re taking that baby and we’re going to get the hell out of here let’s go guys we walked out of the bar in this is slo-mo stupid shot in every movie like the right stuff and everything and we walking like down the main drag of the Marta Gonzalez like like for breast Oye V oppressor we got that baby no it’s not turned on earlier we’re going to start running is my throat sore still slamming I walk back and just touch the snow today
what’s the wall that plays in go in Paradise
that
turn to you you’re making the shepherd’s make a mouse pad
try to take their baby and they called it.
Our bad guys now we steal and Rob
Vernon should I get him out of there could be alive come on come on get out of here alright okay now you ever tell anybody what happened here sucking skin you
can your parents skinny cousin but if I can Christmas time five years from now you’ll think everything it was just a weird thing that happened to traumatize you your kid will be opening a present I’ll come out
and I’ll explain to you what Christmas is everybody so just just don’t let go about your normal business be happy fall in love have children but always have underneath there like a meta channel of Terror like the idea that I would like like I would be there and I would hurt you alcohol is like that it’s it’s going to blow up in a pretty spectacular fashion I know they’re fine.
the domes run off with vague Terror in their hearts
I know we’re running away and the thing is starting on the foot the building is fully like it’s on fire like supposed to leave us all caught up on fire
my son
good job
Laura for saving saving the day and not a DND in Eric or saving our love of Superman
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