Episode
Episode: 118 – LIVE from Seattle 2014 feat. Dino Stamatopoulos!
Description
Harmontown kicks of its run of movie screenings followed by a live podcast in Seattle to a powerful crowd of Harmenians and is post lifted to new heights and derailed from its first guest comptrolling appearance from Dino Stamatopoulos!
Transcript
how do I say
from Seattle Washington
the home of the greatest football team in the world
Luciano fuckfaces what are they called
you’re tired.
I’m your other comproller the ugly Jeff Davis what are we all really nice guy just give us a little bit you know it’s like your teacher says you have enough for everybody that has to be like the most handsome guy around fuck him I’m so fucking although if you really look closely and use what he smiles you feel out of yourself
play Counting Crows
but that guy off of Marvin Gaye
yeah
thank you
I wonder if I can really put any thought into what I should do guess comptroller do you know stamatoyannopoulos everybody
I prefer the ugly Jeff Davis
it one second I’ll just feel so I’ll just feel I had filler I hadn’t thought about it I’ll just fine how you doing I’m doing good this is how it goes like I’m like Ed McMahon or was absolutely whatever you want right now I know you want to leave and take a shower now I’ll be ugly Jeff Davis I do it in private
if you know how Jennifer Love Hewitt in front of the girls cuz he’s beautiful I came back from the introducing the movie and I went back to the hotel Regina was drinking and I was rejoining him and he said how did it go and I said van it’s a it’s a hot crowd Seattle’s a hot crowd that you guys are very very enthusiastic and it’s warm in here is a girl yeah it’s a preheated crowd I mean they’ve endured a lot to get here you watching a movie about Jesus Christ
so light pack section
Jeff would play a song while he’s sitting in his pants sorry I haven’t felt like that very hard and not as hard as I can a guy in a loading dock but I’ve been working hard and I also had to come to Seattle and I came home and the flight was early in the morning and I I fell asleep early and I got up and I was ready to go you know why cuz I think I found out sleep in your pants I know it’s actually really like is a world I sat up in bed
yeah and Aaron have gotten McDonald’s there was a McDonald’s bag of the foot of the bed sheet it looked like we were packed and ready to go and sleep in your pants and she was kind of put off by it cuz you understand that that’s not a will you learn about adult diapers
I know that’s possible to sleep in your pants and I know I’ve done it before an accident but I kind of like I made a conscious decision to do it when I came home from work like five 6 a.m. get on the plane slept in my pants their blankets for your legs so you don’t need to even like you can just just laying in your pants on a bed
it’s you don’t need a blanket the reason you put a blanket over you when you go home and explain this to you
you’ve chosen this life I’ve hacked it
Aaron my fiance yeah
embarrassing things about Aaron Zigman why we have these 9/11 people is it
it was adorable National tragedy that you might think it was engineered by a tiny group of people there at the documentary about the company that was on the upper floors there was a specific company is a documentary about the the the effects of 911 on that company who basically sew in the description is trying to make it clear how badly impacted this company was here watching a documentary about yes it’ll world-renowned 11 with bad for everyone this is a documentary about this company it is like investment style after
they they they you know the answer the description says on whatever morning with the CEO so-and-so finds out that 750 of his employees are gone something like that I were watching the movie we watched the whole movie and Erin’s kind of like in silence and I I watch the whole thing and it’s like it’s riveting it’s interesting the personal inside sorry I’m telling couple days later actually it was today that documentary yeah why was I mean to me it was kind of boring cuz it was like what are you what is your company do after 9:11 I mean yeah it’s hard but but you know what your work were a couple of Chinese opinion about this movie and Aaron cuz I thought it was like I thought it was going to be like a mystery
because it said 750 people disappeared
where where you thought the documentary because we’ve seen documentaries about people that were like oh she pretended she was in 9/11 and she wasn’t it’s a documentary about a liar he thought this was a documentary about a group of people who may have went out of a picnic as where are they now we were playing frisbee wife is weird that’s what she Seattle that’s fucking place I actually think this is the first time I’ve ever been in Seattle and I got off the plane and I was on the airport floor they have fish and like he’ll and stuff and a trail like goldfish in
no it’s just pavement and get it into the fish in a trail leading leading you to the baggage carousel know nothing waiting for Ario know I was Iowa I keep looking at it I keep looking
are you off
do you know baggage area this way and she thought I was looking at the floor and there’s a goldfish and like and then I was like oh Seattle I just got that just got it today for scuba diving you’re famous for Eddie Vedder at that wasn’t I never ever entered my head it’s on it’s just like wooden planks and Portland Portland Portland and I probably would have gotten it’s the Adil part that sucks you knows what you’re talking about it just sounds like the name of a city it doesn’t you don’t break it down until you see the fish
Seattle I didn’t know that the Beatles was spelled that way cuz of beat I think it just a misspell Beatles cuz they wanted one like the Monkees The Beatles at the Monkees do it then came first
alright life hacks life in your pants
is it is that what Jeff Davis says I noticed there was a position and it doesn’t happen to me all the time the bars I prefer they don’t usually have mirrors but when they do I like to find myself looking at the mirror a lot while I’m drinking it is a reflection of me across behind the bar right and I do find myself very distracted by my reflection and then equally distracted by the fact that I’m engaged in sorry
I’m engaged in a socially unacceptable Behavior which is I’m staring at myself in the mirror while I’m drinking in a bar right but I can’t get a hold on you because you you don’t like the way you look like you’ll you’ll sign pictures of yeah but I love I never looked worse go fuck yourself
I’m doing it now it hurts me this hotel has like it wasn’t a mirror behind a bar was like but I know I was just sitting there and I got to move after 10 minutes to figure out what’s 3 in / of the sofas but it wasn’t in the mirror anyway I then there was other things other people came in and was back in for the mirror and then I put on this I love Minecraft I didn’t know until I played it like later today
sit and drink in front of a mirror and know when it would stop when it would stop being like I was like maybe I can maybe that’s my favorite thing to do while you’re getting your exercise another person here is my house then Dustin are podcast producers girlfriend Elizabeth I don’t want to get her in trouble she said that her mom said that Kiefer Sutherland is afraid of me so is her mom Kiefer Sutherland’s assistant know she’s just a lady to let she read it on a hundred website or something
we are trying to get more information about it but it was about vampires likes mirrors I hate them I’m dying. I like looking at how disgusting I like looking at it I like watching my face melt I like watching your face melt to thank you that was very hard for you to say
what time does talking about whatever happens this is what Herman tells about right how do you do this am I doing it right
so we have some we have some specialty at
Seattle lights is that what they call themselves yes for real
seems like I bet
that’s cool I mean cuz why why be every first name we have some special guests there I mean yeah we do. We have a 18 year old birthday girl hair is like bears by being singled out
okay what do you want do you want to come up and and share your birthday with us
if your
I think I think I likes it there that’s probably a good one what’s your name
Kaylee and you can take take the mic and take control
I was
I knew this would happen cuz 18 and see if someone’s going to make you a daughter figure I’m going to take care of you I’m bummed out your friends and family aren’t here but I think it’s wonderful that you chose to spend your birthday with us where you will be safe and nurtured and respect
and you can vote now
root means nothing in your phone means nothing room 218 the what what’s the hotel called you fucking cunt
actually the reason I’m alone is that I was I would invite my mom like a really close but I knew she would have to be offended and exhibit one come on down you what I do it in front of it you actually I was
directions safest way to do it
gentleman but you drop you off here and she trusts us with you which is important to notes history is being made here today there was a kid that treated me and said I’m 16 can I get into the show by myself I don’t suppose that kids here are you I don’t think you’re supposed to be and I don’t treat him back cuz what I would tweet like I feel like a funny duddy but I’m like what no you’re you shouldn’t be you can’t come but not because I’m a prude or anything and I know that I meet all kinds of parents who were like oh yeah my kids 10 years old and he’s he’s seen it all whatever I think I’m fine with that I don’t care if he’s going to be here
but but when a kid says by themself if they go when they say like oh my parents don’t know about it I want to come to the show and then I can’t I can’t sign off on that you got to tell your parents that you’re coming to The Rocky Horror Picture Show which is how I grew up with you soon
she loves that episode so she got like a taste of what I was getting into and then we’re also that kind of family like I’m just telling you things like make you feel at ease of me being at the show but like I got her Cards Against Humanity for Christmas like where that family you going to want for Christmas Cards Against Humanity
I’m kidding I’m just kidding
why is my phone
it just seems like play Apples Apples that I was angry about it I don’t know no do whatever you want it’s your show, I’ll talk to you later I’m going to fuck the shit out of you
the guy right oh yeah yes
oh yeah sorry this is a TV I’m looking right now Adam listen to this this is what I would say to them thank you for entrusting us with what’s your name
thank you for entrusting your phone don’t worry
the words thesaurus
but I loved it and they’re not going to listen to this now OK Google to have a dialogue with her I I feel like an old fuddy-duddy but I imagine having kids in this age like YouTube alone and what are you supposed to drink there is going to be that you’re you’re going to be the bottleneck between all of reality which used to be relegated to one box in the living room that could be controlled could be turned on and off and is now an aerosol mist of nanorobotics fucking life just donkey fucking and
boring now they put a barcode on your ass they put you in a stainless steel scale and you’re watching already somebody getting fucked on YouTube it’s playing in the corner of the room when you get your vaccination I wish I could say you took the words right out of my mouth but I can’t associate that with Republicans and we go like you’re a fuddy-duddy like what are you going to learn that I can have a tattoo and I can be at my dick pierced and I should have blue hair and I should be I should be whatever I want to be and that’s all very like wonderful and it’s like no but like what do you really actually do and I thought you see in Seattle like you see the guys watch Walking with the flannel shirts and there they looks like Ryan Gosling and they got a beautiful tow-headed kid behind them and the kids stumbles and the dad turns around and goes you okay bro
I just saw that today happened I wasn’t for sure in the in the good moments that seems like a really cool thing you okay bro
the laser bro
but like what is it
he is Darkness family if it’s a real family it’s a box you’re driving around all of the shit like it’s not just the moments with the park is in The Stumbling In like they know there’s going to be darkness and contained in that box and where we are at we do tell parents number one you have to have a job both of you number to your kid better have a job when he’s 18 cuz we’re running a fucking ant colony here number 3 fuc Daycare at your to your kid that needs to have a job and 18 years and you and your view and your wife have the both have a job that you can’t you also you can’t take care of them and go to work they have two of you w better hire someone whose job is to take care of your kids and and like we were totally tell everybody all this stuff with the way the system works but nothing that were telling anybody is like what what do you do to get this look adorable Rose girl with her braces and she’s in Hermantown under the big sweaty lump of shit talking and talking about
mom drop you off and she’s hoping for the best of you’ll probably be a senator but
I don’t I don’t know what to tell you I’m sitting here I’m listening to you and I I ate either want to be your child Abby want to marry you or see probably this is the easiest one just fuck you Google the pickle lady
you know the pickle ladies not like regular ladies she’s special
I don’t know I just say what are you doing how do you do I explain to my kid that the word watermelon has energy behind it that carrot doesn’t
or at what point am I creating something because my parents did that to me I was raised in the seventies and my parents at with my mom and I was playing with to Sesame Street figures Gordon and mr. Hooper and my mom said are you enjoying playing with them yes I am do you notice a difference between them one owns the newspapers. Do you notice anything else different about him good
okay because the difference is one’s black and one’s white and you should never notice that for the rest of your life
now I’m 41 and a black person sitting the front room I got to help the black person
I guess I’m not racist I’m so not racist black black black black black black black
are there any order your time is up Kaylee Kaylee and you now have 20 minutes to respond
the debate is not
you kids think about race
18th birthday
my mom always liked his kids inherently ask questions like that’s what they do so your mom like thrust the question on to you but what my mom did was she is like open the floor we could ask her questions she decide if it’s time or not time and if we pressed her she just tell us and that’s why I’m scarred for life but it’s just like if we asked her questions she’d be as honest as she could and it where I think it worked out I think I’m probably it because I think I think that’s probably it because there was an internet when I was a kid as I’ve described their show at the recalled the creek where we would hunt crate at in and crawdad crayfish Claire magazine pages that would float over the railroad tracks and we would have rubbed the mud off of basically youtubing something it’s an unhealthy way for a kid to do
cover the world and a big difference is if you’re able to go to your parents and say hey I saw that
what what what’s your take on that on your parents are just filled the question like the White House Press correspondent it appears to have something to do with how you were created however it’s not an important things socially
so the words by yourself are depressing socially but you are here by yourself
play me the friends hate harmontown so they’d never made it extremely easy I sent them links to episodes I think they would like I feel this generation like they’re in their Gmail box they’re getting invitations yeah I’d love to attend a nerd Fest on a Saturday night so I don’t know why
Aiden and then all your friends were like we respect that and we respect you but we are choosing different paths I things to do in high school isn’t that one of them that’s good it makes you feel more genuine if you were here was like a group of friends would be like suck you like I just be worried about what they were thinking like you play a song for a friend and like healthy like a god when I was 12 I took I made all my friends see Spaceballs
I dragged them into the theater they were like no Beverly Hills Cop 2 I was like no Spaceballs for jerseys here’s why this guy did Young Frankenstein did Blazing Saddles and its Star Wars slam dunk come with me gentleman come with me and then I was walking out like Steve Ruel was like like why was the guy a cat
okay I guess it cuz it wasn’t a good Star Wars parody I’m so happy that you didn’t like it when you dance holders Lieutenant now so I’m surrounded by assholes
do you know what my first joke I’ve ever told him I was a kid was Kate Kate Cailey i l e i g h you almost at Kaylene
Kayleen Kayleen oh okay that’s weird
and I can’t believe the weirdo called her weird I know what was I saying
that’s how we get some I’m going to I’m going to tell you the first joke I ever told any anybody as a significant and I’m going to have a lot of memory of it but my mom explained it to me this is my first joke that I would tell over and over again and I will pronounce the punchline to you the same way I did when I was a kid I got here is the first joke ever told Kayleen I did include that part what’s gray and has four legs and a trunk
what an elephant’s right
I got it worst joke ever
a mouse going on vacation
it still tells me I feel like
you pictured it out of it it’s a mess on vacation
did you send my phone out I got so excited I almost smashed my teeth it’s in my phone
hold on I’m going to look and see if there’s another guy up here that I want you to meet
fuck cock blocker shows cuz you’re 18 and it’s like nobody here
I know this guy is a guy that came up to me I don’t know if he’s willing to come up either but he came up to me and he said hey I have some cutting boards for you oh my God. Send them up he said he’d made some special cutting board I love cooking
yeah there is do you want do you want to come up we won’t we won’t
you’re not going to cut up kale Inari you can just cuz I probably have questions
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, no limits is that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through the New Black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes have the themes would like to my own life so there’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like ever you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema what Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
cuz he get cuz he’s I mean I was like okay you made cutting boards for us and he wants to give them to us you know it’s something you do okay good so I don’t have a lot of creative Outlets that I’m in a really kind of everything’s always kind of like making something for a utilitarian purpose but I kind of found out if I’m a room 218 I thought if I made a cutting board
and I don’t know if they’ll offend you or not cuz my first questions are based on like what it isn’t a cutting board just a slab of wood and therefore what’s your name I’m time Jeff Jeff a Jeff
do you want vodka
sorry Caitlin
just be a piece of wood but what I do is I laminated so I will like contrast the wood so I used
system Master at work
oh boy what is try even the things that you would normally not get robbed you a divorce
Corey Budd garage
I love attention
lemonade would so what I’ll do is I’ll take a I would have liked a light-colored wood and then like use a darker color wood or different kind of wood and contrast it still looks kind of cool and then we’ll do it like what what happened what does it mean please let me know when you just like hate me for the can you check your tire places in representing Dustin Dustin you’re making everything goes right
but it is a podcast on it so I also want them to understand like when a picture cutting board I’m just picturing it’s a piece of wood and it usually has a handle yep that’s what is a boy oh my God here’s the new development this game really just made some cutting boards for us they’re not cutting board I love her these are great they look like they’re here together with what what an epoxy or wood glue
I don’t recommend you don’t put in the washer
oh oh you’re yelling at me
I don’t cook I don’t cook
alright okay alright alright well good good job with a cutting board to get dry and then I had washing your cutting board to be dry you want to have mineral oil on it and then what was what’s the worst case scenario with a dry cutting board is going to be a little more prone to damage she’s going to take the point. I’m fucking taking your cutting board
she will be home soon where I am
you don’t need a board for its use all you need is a place where they sell podcast I’m trying to get laughs
Ollie’s oohs and aahs killing Jews over here
I mean is there a way that people can reward you if they hear I mean I don’t want to make this into a shark tank or anything but cutting boards should people be able to find you an Etsy or where are you selling your wares now I’m I’m kind of stuff for people I usually do it for like as a gift your looks like Cormac McCarthy of cutting boards people have to come find you in the woods
what did you mean by that I told you about the Coen brothers
I can never I mean it’s kind of like the things I do I have that if I make it like commercially for somebody that I would just be like
just like scared is that they’re going to find a defect and then I’m going to feel like I didn’t do really good job if he says ya don’t be scared I love them cutting board you really do giving me this is like a huge you if you make as a gift it’s like there’s less pressure because it’s a gift you know what you should do the flies when you’re cutting words you should you should you know if you moved to LA and say yeah the flaws the point that my cutting board
is a cutting board is mineral oil goes on it when
like they send you the ingredients and I tried that and it sucks cuz of my fault who are they a company that like measure out all the ingredients it’s like a rich people thing and someone gifted it to us so I know what you did to your family
you’re in a hurry. The measure out it’s like Easy instructions so I made these like BLT sandwiches but they were like tofu instead of bacon so I already knew I kind of would like it but I tried it just like I don’t know if you have better person are you guys are you guys a family that’s ending up like red flags for the neighborhood we should we should teach them to cook Smith’s are in the backyard and I don’t know if they know how to feed themselves and I’m worried about the economy we’re going to send them ingredients
just move to a new like little apartment so it was just like a moving gift like you’re somebody too cuz my mom works and then I’m like home alone and your parents separated how long are you in Seattle are you are you do you live here so your dad took the cooking board
men are better Cooks the we just do it for fun
so you’re saying so it’s just you and your mom living in an apartment now do you want to live with Dad or sorry
how old is he allowed to take one of these you should definitely take for God’s sake
but I want to hear more Kokomo by the way I put out a tweet for Coke if anyone has any
what all right I can’t hear how have you been handling this is not for your podcast consumption but when I was when I was younger than you my parents separated for a while I live with my mom and my brother was live with my Dad we would go back and forth it was like there was a division in the family was just like everything was just okay this is how it is and I it wasn’t like a TV show it wasn’t like I had feelings to begin with
take me to lake lake lake this is happening to you and you seem like a put together young lady you’re 18 years old but you’re still young you’re it’s you and your mom at apartment do you how do you feel about all of this is that’s happening in your family
oh now you’re dressing up memories
my brother and I are we stayed in our home that we like we grew up in and then now the mortgage is like too much for my mom so we moved to an apartment now so that’s the only real big change in the point of the Schism between you and your mom moving at a different place so your dad’s been out of the picture for a little while
out of the picture. Put some mineral oil and then marriage the age I was I was in 5th grade when the parents like you know you’re going to be a great artist do you think that parents should stay together for the kids have a loaded question isn’t it
what are the hours of this fascination with this like like what is it what are they supposed to look like
but I don’t know what they really impact my life in a very big man or like I still see my dad we have two Christmases to Easter you don’t think you’re all fucked up trust me hard life things are hard but you’re going to cutting board out of this cat thanks for coming straight okay yeah it’s going to start coming up in your work and people are going to go like I mean it’s it’s your first big relationship like the guys going to go by I’m making for them he’s going to go is it right the first time someone says what’s wrong with you then you’re going to go what is
Gale from swimming at your dad’s name
I don’t know if you know by the time you’re my age life expectancy and then I don’t know why I’m talking to you cuz it’s your birthday happy birthday happy birthday
he’s become an adult in front of your eyes were first drink years from now but not happening here you’re not going to like this anyways you took your role models very well
if you’re not drinking no I’m all done your old.
How the fuck he’s going to I want to I want to bring my fiance
okay but yeah don’t get any on your fingers
I just feel like I feel convinced that this is how my career has finally off.
pregnant. They tried to get me every way they could but then he asked whatever cutting board guy when I got my my woman up Erin mcgathy that’s my job
is it at my job that’s what I was just struggling with it there for a second but a certain point we got to put a pin in Kayleen but I want you to come up back up and play Dungeons of dragons with us later if you would
yeah we’ll just play it by ear but right now I’m not very good at delegating
I was camping on Wednesday and I I had my went camping with my best friend and our dog and we just having like a spirit Spirit Journey having trip a diocese really want to take a shit
do you know I am going to tell her to cook and start experiencing it does get very jealous
add founding back then
sorry smoke
booze that’s not I don’t know what you’re talkin about
and no cutting board and I have its handful of fettuccine and I dropped it in the dirt at our camp and then try to wash it off and stick it and then had it on the picnic table and putting it on the picnic table and then put it on a plate and me and my friend
I’m at Parker and Keith on the dirt so thank you for that
are you guys at so you’re welcome Jeff thank you
oh I don’t really have to is a bit
Ashley
working the shift went right up me
Lakewood two different colors of wood is a lighter wood and a darker wood and cherry on that one
he just gave me a look like that was a stupid question
table or a roof for a hammer hammers asked me what shopping stores, making all the fixtures for what shop and then I’ll come like the first big thing and then are you going through something for me is his way of not going through something if he goes through something where it’s something I can’t get my head around cuz I’m like I know nothing about cooking and I like I was thinking in my head like okay what should a good cutting board me it should be like an anvil it’s like a world where metal is malleable
we need a piece of metal on which we hit other metal has got to be like
most likely for vertical metal ever got something stupid together
Hermione
is it going to break into a trimmed it would include therefore it will but I want I want to see like three to five hundred pounds of pressure on each one each clamp and that makes a difference that would put the glue itself isn’t just like
hey hey Aaron room 218 with that wood glue toxic
but you curse
and you know it I know you’re trying to make fun of me the Bears man has the words can I tell the story about when you were talking to me about like what does I never saw The Sopranos and I asked him why is everyone so into The Sopranos and he said you know people are talking about yeah you know like there’s cooking going on like a past me another another pickle we need we need more mayonnaise in the pickle pickle mayonnaise do nothing about all he got out of my description of The Sopranos dumb you have bad pizza today and you knew it
close you funnier fuck you close hair
food is dumb
when you when I cook a nice Duck Pie for you you love it you’re right and when I met Aaron she made homemade guacamole and I did better than the regular see little baby likes his bottle
little Jamaica. Macaroni and cheese is a 41 year old man that voice I’m like he has my uterus just leads me down to give me one of these babies that we have kids and I’m like making like little bananas for the kids and dance like like emotionally but that’s not how I talk
I make it cooler than that
this isn’t food but last night you were like and you get to water for Dan to be right you got to be it’s got to be why you trying to do that at the excess glue anything
I am
I have a life cat
can I have a drink
I mean did we do have moments that I like oh shit
it will be interesting when there are kids in the morning when when I’m not working when I don’t have to get out of bed to go to work if we both have to pick it up cuz I’m more hesitant to get out of bed the way she’ll get me out of bed as by actually she could commit to actually dressing me like I was a plus-4 a quadriplegic man from the bed to the car even if I don’t want to Until It embarrasses him
damn damn is notorious for not wanting to take baths and he tweeted like a maybe a couple years ago about like he finally he’s like oh this is why people take a big bubble bath and all my friends are like of course that’s how you get babies in a bag what are you I have a lot of friends laugh at your bath habitat better number than misstep when I bought you those bath crayons
bath bath cream I heard the rubber ducky bath bubbles like I bought the bath bubbles and just like without thinking about it on Amazon I was like oh cool there Arctic bath toys and bath crayons and then I got all the shows like not even thinking like this is for a forty-one-year-old you’re not the one who’s wrong
I don’t even know if I took them out yeah, he’s up on the podcast a while back he goes well with blue I get in the shower is I can’t believe they won
the society has made me take a shower.
Pain in your hands
and you know it’s a pain offset by the what I get out of it
what if every time you got into other couples therapy is like by the way
they are eight year old couples therapist and it’s not it’s not because it’s because you’re cutting board Legacy is complete and you are avoiding it your it which is more admirable if it’s going to make more people want to get your cutting board so I want to make sure Jeff before you leave us are you sure there’s no place people can find you if they’re questioning for the perfect cutting board just follow him home
well I I mean you can you can sweet me I’m at Lazy woodworker it’s a start decided I’m going to take my cutting board Empire to the NASDAQ but at least they know where to find you you know you won’t be lost in the snow a podcast is a really really nice
there will be no excess glue is all the glue thank you sir
you can see him out in the lobby get his Twitter Handle from the thing that yet Aaron’s got there yet she knows what she’s doing she knows where to go is the you know where we’re going with me I don’t know I know is it just so you staying up here is it is it excessive to get another round of applause for Kaylee and he was so
with nice this is my this is the new years eve of her life
you tonight and coming by yourself that’s really it is kind of like it kind of makes you want to hit her with a two-by-four as well though right because you weren’t that cool when you’re 18 and then I got the idea of being cool being characterized by coming to see you and then the idea that all of her friends were like gross I’m like well who are they down and then a Feeling
you guys are trying to be Jeff
prove this episode
and so sorry about it and we would just listen to the lp I just didn’t want it to get sexy in that situation
the world’s cutting board Spencer Crittenden
the world’s fattest Tire
hey everybody hates Spencer can Kayleen have your cutting board Mike down on that thing in here that hit the mic.
hey were you telling me about in reaction takes of it
earphones that play sound in Dearborn I mean new your relatives term but yeah there’s these your phones that work by vibrating you’re like your skull bones or your jaw bones are in your ear bones directly instead of a vibrating a membrane which transmits a vibration through sound you know it through the air into your eardrum it skips the middleman entirely and just vibrates man I don’t need that shit
fucking hippie garbage man like fucking tofu
Spencer do you cook for yourself I haven’t lately I used to cook a lot I was a huge into Food Network and stuff cooking channel oh man oh man let me know the things that I bring around two parties is this crazy cheese dip it’s probably too heavy for an LA kind of crowd but it’s it’s quite delicious. Cheese and bacon and it just tastes good I don’t know it’s did you bring me to hear what the fuck I mean to bring it in and Kayleen maybe there’s some advice you can give her from you no more closer to the shores of the River Styx watch cooking channel
I mean to dump a lot of good stuff man you know about deglazing a pan holy shit changes your life and every day I was like that’s all I do my parents kind of has kids and stuff so yeah it’s a real talk about her like slave slaves
if ya like you were his legal yeah I had this now it’s making work until I can kick him out
we have to cook
is restaurant will that sounds more you know that’s more like you’re taking on my craft I’m going to stand by you
but with the restaurant Italian restaurant so I guess combining the ingredients and stuff cannolis instead of bears that you don’t like his food is that like a sticking point I don’t think I’ve ever said that
are you blame yourself and you are like he’s a hero because he boned out
and I’m I’m telling you you need to stop thinking mad
I love the way you think I make that young she’s got your back
my dad your dad’s name
fucking left happy Kaylee and Dad she always better job bro Hangout
it’s going to be fun trust me I was a kid not bonding anywhere
the idea with the mom character she’s the whole point is that she she thinks that Rick is cool because he left and she’s wrong
she worships exceptionality and she thinks the people who leave are smarter than people who stay you just Tank the show no one’s mad. It’s something we should all monitor cells for cuz we often think the people who do you know like I play to the guy in the back of the room that’s like
oh my God guys must be back there but then there’s all these people are like I made you a cutting board and I’m like fuck you and I got to I got to stop that Kaling
oh
we’re getting married in 49 days
we’ll see how Toronto goes
my bachelorette party is it okay if we register it through a table table table south of the table what does it mean what does it mean
it’s on the table if it’s a store do you care where we register I don’t know I feel like are we is this show a real I’ve never been this drunk in my life I was sure
we ended we don’t have to do Dungeons & Dragons do I mean
I don’t know how to do it you’re out of your element man I don’t know how to do it you don’t have to care what you’re going to learn you’re going to have a great time
play Love Me Or Dungeons & Dragons
I think so I don’t know you’re the one that looked at the clock or something I don’t care what are you legally allowed Surfers Seattle fact that the Seattle facts about the Seattle facts after the show you want to go you know I did not all right. Thank you for coming in Seattle City I’m sure they know that the needle is made out of their family
their whole bodies are just their nose bones or something
Seattle Space Needle is constructed out of the 10% of the salary that the city takes from dads who earned the right to go find themselves
yeah well alright I’m Seattle judge I’m also from Main you may leave but all the sound
okay Dungeons & Dragons
so tired
so tired tired he’s going to be rich
come on let’s move it along
Coco Coco number. Well it’s not what I have to do something now you just sit there man the top and pass it down is this about the imagination fuck rules OSHA it you’re not going to fit in well at all
I’m writing a few bucks on how to play correctly and you’re grown up now going to college yeah I’m doing the running Start program so I’m a high schooler at a community college all my classes at a community college full-time you can take like half and half after that I want to go to Central Washington University and they have an obscure degree that I really want to get it’s called primate behavior and ecology
what is the guy with super hairy arms raised grain of salt Department
alright hurry up wait is that a degree you’d recommend
you can’t get paid any money so now right will cool
that is worth it is the first chimpanzee to learn sign language named washout likes you grew up somewhere else but then they like ran out of funding so they had to find a place for so Central Washington University built a housing unit for her and her family and they moved her there and answer your your you if you wanted if you were to spend your life like reaching out to other primates learning language and connecting with him so if that would be like I don’t want you to language experiment necessarily I want to work with orangutans and like rehabilitate and get them in the wild like an Indonesian or something you don’t say the g orangutans are not orangutans
God damn
sorry about my friend by the way this is fucked up this is like a fucking can worry about that
the most joyous piece of paper I ever saw in my room yeah but later anybody knows what’s going on with the boring
damn Let’s do let’s do the theme song that we always do for Dino fucking Nusrat ruin about what I did to my tax forms to and I went to jail for 10 years
all right here we go
did you redo last time on harmontown or Heroes were faced with their greatest foe father Tinder
after chasing down a ninja Marauder Our Gang discovered the killer they pursued was none other than that you just loving priest who watched over the town leather Tinder attack with deadly magic said it was all Sharpie could do to stay alive until his friends arrived to save the day did that together they built the father a mortal blow but before he could die the evil magic power transformed them into a hideous demon Chris de Burgh deployed the robot baby the perilous Gambit failed is the baby’s arm was melted off but his sacrifice gave our heroes The crucial seconds they needed to ready a plan their dignity put water into a hole in the father tenders skull and Sharpie Frozen with Chris De burgh’s final blow the combination shattered his head in the pieces filling the demon in a single devastating moment but with the mayor dead at the hands of the gang would they really be able to simply walk away or would they be made to pay for
the crimes with the barrier hold strong or wheezes cries without the power of fish are recommended I mean and what a vampire to go pick up my pieces of paper
baby doll the perfect time for we were fighting and we blew his head off yeah well I mean you shattered it we shall We Tell It ye is shattered a giant
Stone of God’s head is yay okay to say yeah
jerks fantastic I examine my surroundings in the broken ruins of the darn Bond household inside the town of Rose Buckeye you stand upon the shattered corpse of Father tender you see all of his demonic aspects of faded away just leaving a bloody heap of a chunk of Flesh it’s just all scattered about the lawn take my sword and blow up the universe
your sword can’t do that man I thought you were a hippie it’s just the Lights On Fire yeah what do I do with it not destroy Universe again room 218
Spencer the question sure
ran away what was the figure of like the dying father tender like do we ever find out who he was with my questions that’s metagaming you’d have to discover that yourself in character what she’s asking did we ever actually find out he has been so yeah yeah yeah you know I’m answering the question
ashiana what it makes him a bad guy for the group okay well I love you make six necklaces
I just want to make sure like everybody grab everything that’s worth anything is as I’ve said before we keep not going that okay I’m going to grab Spencer’s woodblock can give it to Kayleen
you’re going to keep you don’t know what you’re talking about I think Chris de Burgh is asking the really smart question which is like okay if that guy was father tender then who’s the father tender that was dying back at that place maybe we should go back there and check out the scene there let’s go back there
but I want it on record that we gathered everything of value of the next time I ask you if we have any treasure and you say we can rule this area is is devoid of value his corpse is just little chunks of Flesh you don’t even see clothing or any black good morning value people we have the robot baby with us his arms melted off
okay I’m going to walk across the street
oh shit something exploded over there despite not stupid you make it across the street
you make it a try to take a shower is that what you want another people care that aren’t me I don’t even have to buy day now and learn to
I do know is that are sitting upon the audience member that suggested he take a shit what happened
I’m sure you’re funny
all right maybe they gave Dino a way to be subversive and play the game
alright that guy has crutches or your legs hurt more than they were awake
oh okay well the two you have what what happened to the two of you let’s do you know each other
let’s just this place where they sit people that have crutches I don’t think
all right yeah
will will come back to Seattle this clearly unplumbed depths are. I don’t know how that word is pronounced what I just said
Tinder let’s say you’re at father tinder’s house you’re there all right father tenders house you see the window that’s broken leading into his bedroom that’s where on he must have broken out of the Alien come out
the window or well I mean I would have to be sneaky right sounds like I’m better at this game than anyone yeah you’re doing great Dino chicken to the door and going upstairs but the wizard
you kick in the door and go up the stairs to the bedroom you see you see a puddle of water with a gray silvery kind of slightly flesh tone to head floating in the middle of it I like no no way really looks like it looks like if father tender was in the microwave for too long
no that’s fine but we are you on are you on the page 3 not going to get results of my knowledge of our maybe if I seen anything like this before what is your skill rank in the 13 game
they were having fun with
well I am yeah using your knowledge Arcana you look at this magic in it it strikes you as something very familiar it’s actually common magician trick known as the simulacrum unless I pronounce that wrong simulacrum
prime prime make a dinosaur
Akram simulacrum are there this is why you’re famous apparently but I mean again it’s not my idea I like it I like you so much being yourself yeah let’s leave
what’s your room number 218
next to me is going to get laid
looks like we got a nice doppelganger in her hands
I haven’t encountered a nice
doppelganger simulacrum looks like somebody may be replaced father Tinder with a smell
I look I look around the room for any any any clues or any anyting clues of what you ever been a communist The Joy that’s here right now
sitting in a line sounds a lot better I wish am I
dungeon dragons football in high school and it’s it’s I guess I guess we thought they were cool and better than this I’m going to I’m going to wait and see pressure sign assholes
I’m going to I’m going to leave the room in and walk around the exterior of the house
we will we will you don’t care you see blue and blue and red lights flashing has the words I was looking for blue and red lights flashing over a hedge outside of the yard
so this looks bad the police are going to come in and see us like with a head and do we should probably get out of here on the outside I have a relationship with the with the police in this town and also I have some stuff I know how to talk to people and again is listening to you talk to should we stay or flee while you still build trust and let her talk to the cops we flee and she stays Direction This bulbs while the fuzz arrives
dignity you see you see several Guardsman arm gone
fellow minded friends
it’s a very ready greeting you have there
really that’s a really suspicious thing for someone to say I think
the eccentric and didn’t make a lot of sense but that’s what suspicious is a lot of times
right right well I checked out the scene here looks like we’re good looks like floating here not thinking so I’m here to say things don’t look good I mean I see a broken window up there in her father’s missing and I just found this pile of human meat chunks that I think might be related
you wouldn’t know anything about that July I saw no do you is what I do I know
I don’t do you like it no I don’t meet you
and I will be on my way unless you have any more information on the way of Truth
well I mean speaking the truth we’re just trying to collect some statements if you want to come down to the constabulary it’ll just take a minute or two
I also
I like you I like to smash my face, well I mean professionals is important to me and I think that we should we should just sing the song of the goodness together and no one should stop singing a verse because then the song stop the play it’s a it’s a it’s a Melody it’s a it’s a what sing a Harmony
just like my mother used to say
I thought I saw that in your eyes I saw that we had kind of a little one
I basically got the gist of what you were trying to to say I mean I could jot down some notes you don’t need that works but really you just annoyed him away
but you just saying a lot of weird stuff I don’t I was being nice I just don’t think we could get a useful statement out of here that’s that’s Fair Isle du La my way and you do it your way you don’t know what happened to anybody in this loaded meat chunks nothing no idea
don’t have a good night
the guy walks off
Lightspeed meanwhile me and Chris de Burgh heading towards us visible Tower if I recall right we’re downloading I want to get your thoughts on this you’re 18 you’re mind is unsullied by like I’ve I’ve benefited so far from here in your recap some stuff I want to get as much as I can before you leave members visible was not very fond of Father tender he was very suspicious I think we should try to find out what he knows and he did not want us to go to the constabulary it so maybe there’s something suspicious there and we should ask me what’s happening there that he knows of old was I mean like we are there was a space ball we made friends with and then there was a guy who turned out to be Spaceball but he wasn’t supposed to be father tender but father tender was like fake made of jello back at his
yeah I originally thought was it may be visible was that like as a replacement like he was the body there but it was a magic thing so I don’t think he was but maybe so we should try to find them and that will solve find find Spaceballs about the actual person see if we can we got to go to his place and because that’s the place we haven’t met yet you’re right that’s where we’re headed good you are headed there but before you can get there you you hear the familiar crunch of tires on gravel and you see it
and that was real Dino that was be no visible rules up in his wheelchair blanket
hey wait what was his voice
oh that voice to drive from your wellow
well I had Jen Smithville talk to the baby for a second the baby I don’t see it baby
we had him when we left I didn’t tell us we had them do we have the baby here what the fuc to be you just blew up father tender but also by the gingers make like what the fuc to me completely unrelated to anything I’ve done right you protest too much because I want to really
yes
in a in a world where people are pretending to be other people what the fuck is going on with people pretend to be other people why do you think I’m soliciting people to pretend to be me that seems like the work of some person who’s against me I’m saying it’s natural for me to visit
to see anyone and say what the fuck is going on I would expect you to say that to me the way in what circumstance if you went off on an adventure where I was pretending to be someone else and you saw a version of me going to googly boogly I would expect the next time you saw me I don’t expect you to punish me but I expect you to say what the fuck do me I guess that’s one way you can think of it I definitely would have been towards that no trying to fuck do you remember how I met you yeah you’re bad was broken and healed you actually the clerics did once you dragged me it hurt very much
drag you back to the city so that you could get medical attention and I appreciate it you’re a friend I’m saying to you what the fuck there’s people pretending to be you I said if someone just came up to me with a mask that looks like you I wouldn’t go questioning you wear our masks being made of you I would say someone’s making a master this guy that’s crazy
I mean that’s just me I can’t you just more sophisticated I thought you wouldn’t even ever check back in with me massive you I don’t know that seems like something you’d ask someone who is actually involved in the plan you don’t think I just finished running around trying to figure out the situation from every other angle I don’t know what you did you catch up to them
feel like I wasn’t as honest as I could have been with the authorities are a little mixed up about what’s going on and
and maybe maybe Christopher can tell me what’s happening
Chris Pellerin we just met up with physical sharp he’s being very defensive right now
incredible alright okay fine
since we know that earlier in the day that you did not trust father Tinder trusted do you have any like evidence to that that could help us on our quest to find out why he intimidated you don’t like alcohol
is that your only basis of hate and mistrust
is it I mean the other weird things include his replacement with a ice Golem
it’s just it’s a lot of weird stuff it’s hard to know where to start
more than just like juice so much health care so why are you questioning why I think that are you so defensive and why am I the one that I just say for a second that you two are very cute together
I realize this is not about that and I don’t know how you or Aunt but it is sweet sweet pairing there Danny Glover Mel Gibson am I supposed to do that I don’t know if I want to know your English podcast everybody
I do anything to get over this fine young lady
for the rest of our lives what what’s what is the meaning of life cycle you’re on the same team research palm oil and how it’s bad for the orangutans
I don’t doubt for a second full mile is it important this is harmontown to the movie The Matrix of what is that’s just like what Dino did I mean
I’m running to the street alright you run into the street
you have heard it all the way
and I go
and I and I start I start going to flailing around like I’m not going to want to hurt anybody but I’m flailing around
I I run out I run out after him
I sit back and watch I’m not made out of here
call me when you get hit by a horse-drawn carriage
both of you guys
taking 13 damage at peace
I will because you were coming after I mean
tell people that the show zodiac Haley and I don’t believe you had to end it but like it’s it’s a it’s a needle you have to thread brother
see he think you guys and everybody in this room think it’s so easy
earlier today you were telling me that you wrote a lullaby for the city of Seattle
incorporating everything that you knew about Seattle
be a sweet sweet lullaby and you said that while you were singing at everybody else on the stage with slowly walk away and leave you alone.
your space needle love
the most little red city with the Space Needle town city on the sea a town great Seattle Fisher bad and come home to show your team plays and the towers go to Gray
grunge will come for you
but the mayor of Seattle ways feel you and you love in the Gorge
what determines Seattle
God bless you and the best audience in the world thinking of watching a movie of the podcast to me. You’re the best people ever all the rumors about you are true
I’ll see you soon