Episode: 213 – ED-209


Episode: 213 – ED-209


SCHRAB IS HERE. And the best improvised scene ever ensues. Watch the video at harmontown.com/live. Become a member! Watch the live stream and gain access to all our shows anytime anywhere.


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Capri Apartments Downtown Herman everybody
so it’s it’s it’s any night and I just feel so bad show tonight show tonight but I thank you for that I was in Milwaukee doing it in town to do a show or with the whose live anyway with you right now and grapefruits and Joel Murray and you and Cody are you in Milwaukee but yeah I’m at the Spy themed bar restaurant called the safe house I’m staying at the Pfister Hotel the Hilton Hotel you that their slogan is you brought her
you’re in town for a grandma’s funeral right instead of the dementia which we’re learning new things about this like maybe have it but but like you know it’s it’s really kind of like the The Tragically typical way to sit sit the story ends is so Chad they’re my parents were moving her in the process of helping her move because the dementia has gotten to a point where she really needed to live with people her husband that passed away a while ago and now packing like just the energy and the confusion of like you do when your when your person with in that stage of dementia all of a sudden your ships being put in boxes all this stuff at Sheetz at something got triggered
she’s like I got to check on my my I got to get the cat from the basement she didn’t work at the basement and she like she fell down the stairs and broke her hip and they took her to the hospital as of like this is just like Joseph Campbell like like like like you have to we have to accept that our lives the last parts of them are like if you can’t be attached to this flesh because the the the the way we go out is so ridiculous if we’re lucky enough to make it through a healthy life and I just have this chassis just Ruston fall apart you know you have to let it get that cuz it just gets so from there just get so cartoonish cuz they like you have dementia and you have a broken hip so then they are like we can’t give her a new hit because she won’t be able to participate in her recovery because she’ll forget
she has a bionic hip which you need to you need sanctions in participation in order to have one of those things take she’ll she’ll forget and she’ll just fill step on it the wrong way and she won’t know what’s going on in adults it’ll get all fucked up it’ll be a fate worse than than a than a peaceful death for her. That was the only thing she was also she went into a coma but it’s also like then you also have taken so if she comes out of this, then she’s going to be in with her dementia she’s going to be in bed with a broken hip for the remainder of her life which is if those things start to heal they feel wrong as we have to re-break them and she’ll be she’ll be coming in and out of a continuity and relearning every 5 minutes shit I have an incredibly painful thing that I didn’t know it
like just did that CD skipping and then that relationship with like just this other really common thing which is we all tend to follow up report to break her hip that I might try to bring everybody down but if I did it would go something like that
listen to podcast with your family and it was such a trip I bet we’re driving into town busting into town of Dennis show like in Lansing or something like that the night before that we’re driving to Milwaukee and I point towards the historic Third Ward right that’s not what the original ComedySportz was right you at around the corner from where she did, before we left for LA and it’s like I was saying to the guys in the bus right down there in 1994 that’s where I met Dan Harmon and robbed robbed and then I got a text an hour later and you’re there and you came to our show and you watched me do improv and I was at the restaurant The Spicy restaurant called safe house like that’s why I first it stand up
and it was made it an easier place to be underage and do stand up because the Spy thing was like what’s the password in your like you twice on the prize of like law enforcement and more on like that like this whole like are you James Bond movie idea there is that there is it the people in the front room like they’re basically just like Rocky Horror Picture Show are you a virgin or have you been here before I know it’s like the password is or was when I was going there are you I’m looking for a safe house first of all that’s not a word
second of all that’s the I mean that does it I mean so that’s what your enemies are going to say
all right if I said to the gala cuz I can walk in there there’s no sign for it was me and then in the end just like the other woman like like you know early thirties guy like walking up an exec you know where this I just yelled veggie burger and I know that’s why I am here and and she’s like this is like an international experts to Old MacDonald’s Farm you have to talk like a chicken dance around in circles for 10 seconds if I said no I want to go have a veggie burger
but I don’t know I’m sure that’s a subjective it every morning meeting there at depending on it depending on how business is doing you know I don’t know maybe maybe for happy hour I don’t know it’s like that guy from Bar Rescue
Street City Milwaukee
and Beer Capital in the world you need to the turnaround I rescued your bar it’s called cheese ballers
sorry I got carried away it’s doing Bar Rescue episode I think it’s in Pittsburgh work Maryland Maryland okay
okay no matter what episode you watch watch it with your laptop open to Facebook and just type in the name of the bar while your wife because it always ends with it being rescued and the Blazing Saddles fell apart and beer taps in the wall
till I can save money and saving money for the TV show about how the rescue and then leaving as it falls apart behind you that’s how you keep your job as a line producer is there a gay bar called Blazing Saddles miss it kind of looks like the sky is there a gay bar a couple things have kind of like
Coyote Ugly with the dance was all gay bar on Sutphin and apparently it’s like a huge huge money making this guy was married a woman she she cheated on him right off the bat but her but her family was the mob like she was like straight-up Black Mafia Family and this guy I married into this family and she cheated on him but did the family didn’t want any disgrace of the table by said the sky like he was a telling a story to this woman like another bar in New York like my my wife cheated on me and I went at and her father called me and it said look does it was not going to be public we’re not going to talk about it she cheated on you we know about it anything you want her to be a bag of money
like I said whatever you need let me know and he goes I want to open a bar and he’s cuz he met this woman of another bar and said I want to open a gay bar called Blazing Saddles for the people get up and dance or whatever he’s not gay like you can’t open a bar in New York without the mobs can sense cuz you like it like that you have to like the so much for that on the subreddit and now he’s like a fucking fortune because his wife made the movie based on the bar that it.
author of the story I was like the perfect just remember you don’t have a cat in the basement
just went and saw one of my favorite movies of all time but since I was it was so fun to watch it people that knew the movie laughing like crazy Millennials I had never seen it for like bummed out there is there’s an bombs you later because I’m always like this is blank space
he’s the best friend okay
I don’t know about this technology.
Can I get a little more apparent I didn’t want to become like that the rapping guy that like is rapping like 20 years ago it was unavoidable I mean I’m not I was never a but I just want I just want to say that you like to do a picture of a rapping man and ice for 10 songs and it was very sad very lonely emo really I think we would have called but also very
it’s the same as with record scratching like when in the eighties where was like it just because of Herbie Hancock in the like like everyone said that for a large. Of time you had to have record scratching in your song but it’s like this is that everyone has to be auto-tune if you believe in life after love this is a vocoder I don’t think they would stimulate
I believe in you I believe in Bigfoot if I believe in leprechauns a little short Irish music I can get the dishes I went to the kitchen Sedgwick convention going to give you a lesbian
so I gave her a legend she said what’s that meant that don’t add up to the attic insulation when you’re home can you put down weatherproof approve it real and agrees with mustache
yeah Dateline black match the fucking mama car address it was consensual she like to be ravished
that’s what they called it back then ravishing
okay okay alright Daddy Doll night it was a log
play the piece of floating wood
cautionary Tale the airplane tickets cost me $5,000
it’s like it’s like I never left it’s like I never left that was amazing thank you what we have been just living in Twilight’s until you had this thing yeah about about what the Shoney’s I also we need a big screen of here so that they can see stuff that we bring up and then we could do the whole Graham Norton thing I can go look at this dog on the internet everybody like what
I want to look at the dog
maybe that should be on a stand or something I mean I mean it looks like
like that I don’t think there’s any reason to do anything but you doing that with a coder.
comedy rap button
there were warning signs I got to get on that elliptical man
yet you have one of these not in his head do you have one of it at the crib that you can or elliptical at the house. You don’t use it I can’t find it in my underwear here if you’re at your own house you can do whatever you like you know yourself
you know the sweatshops and is that a new sponsor
I’m sure we could be something cuz I’ve done a lot of traveling this airline that airlines are the worst of the best whatever
all of them all the airlines what the fuck is going on what is a relationship supposed to beat with that fucking seatbelt sign what is it supposed to symbolize what does it mean like some more questions you ask the more data you gather the more experiments you do whether it’s getting up when that thing’s lit or waiting for it to turn green or having a conversation with one of these people like you to always be sitting okay but you can’t always sit you’re a fucking plane for 3 hours so there’s a light that just always on that’s like it’s a green light with a picture of a seat belt with the arrow go unlashed with the arrow is going like this like like this on the sun okay so that would seem to indicate fasten your seatbelt
everybody which they make you do at the top of the flight they never turn that fucking thing off ever if you ever have to take a shit like they don’t you just get it it’s always randomly interaction you have their like we’d like you to sit and chat if you really have to take a shit real bad I got to take a ship to you if you want to get up you can get up and you can go do it but they but they are legally bound to say we don’t advise it we can’t say you should sign looks like just a thing that lit up like that’s very that’s just boy who cried wolf cuz it’s just like okay to do everything that you do like because like what is this my sign problem on plans is that there’s is the sign for the laboratory and it’s a man and a woman and the woman is designed as
if it does this is a man or woman standing in between the sink in between the right and on a pedestal pedestal but the thing is if you turn that Basin over that’s the woman’s dress she is dressed like an upside-down sink
I find that very diminishing like she’s a receptacle
or or Laura or opposite I don’t know they don’t know what they’re doing all these things and and it’s disturbing because obviously I probably don’t have to point this out it’s like a 90-ton piece of metal that they fling into the air and rely on some weird green Newtonian principal to just keep it going like a paper airplane those things aren’t like spaceships words and stuff on there but really the whole thing is if the planes already in the air it tends to stay in the air that’s what a turbine is I understand ears rushing through the thing and then of those things are coming through and because of the things like God
which he sometimes does and probably will if we keep this up
turn off the wind
if. Hey I don’t know what the symbol is but if it got turned off
by the way, I just turned off the air put your seatbelt on and hug the person next to you well that’s what I’m saying these things and people are dying all the time
I just like we don’t pay any attention to it where do you think the guy in the cockpit has a degree in this shit like I don’t know I don’t think so I think he’s I think he’s wearing like a Captain Crunch outfit I from my experience like the average person is an idiot average person Man flying you’re playing
my face just as stupid as men like doesn’t it goes applets
wow his epaulets a really bringing me down man I just don’t believe what what’s up with those apple if only you’d be even more freaked out because he would look like a Time Warner Cable Guy when they got a really good pilot make a good cop bad cop if the guy comes on with like to hear
Colonel John Grand Canyon nice tonight I’m going to fly around it you go out you know what don’t buckle out
because it won’t matter
light off and rub my laptop because if I’m doing my job because that’s what rich people do when they get in their private jets they don’t have seat belts in okay go video right now I’m going to turn this shit upside down. Denzil
Denzel Denzel
Denzil has forgotten reindeer
I’m dead or I’d rather Denzil whatever you can hear you’re there for redundancy and can’t and Prancer like him
so Cody Cody got what she got an Uber from my place after we got home from the airport and her Uber drivers name was strategy
was it really yeah I know it was it was it was on the screen
these are guys who have he’s leaving their former name they did something really terrible
is warmer driver are they switch over accounts other Reddit account
because you never know. Can people see what you going to do if you stop doing that do you do look at your credits or porn or 4
God has created hierarchy
if you can comment on it and everything you could ever gain from Reddit Is frequent read it cuz I’m a narcissist and I have it like I live in my favorite thing about read it was like you know what go to community in the Rick and Morty in the Dan Harmon and stuff and I just it’s too I’m not to load some a person 222 into narcissistic to to continue to disappoint people as a human being on this level and then also read about myself that says Italy
Uncle Dennis is here I brought Uncle Dennis Terry Brown Show and he had a blast it was a very funny show Neil Diamond and Gordon Lightfoot singing it was really funny, I didn’t go but I was on mushrooms and you came back from that concert and it was like 3 hours on a hotel room for listening to Rob describe the Neil Diamond concert Neil Diamond concert
really excited about that and as I seen I got that point I said like eight times time I’m meeting Neil Diamond the Diamond place to meet you at I’m seeing you and Hannah could agree with president was that his his assistance but it was big bouncer guy like it’s kind of like Handler and like bodyguard guy had a wind up like disposable camera and get together and he took like snap snap snap snap and then gave me the camera that goes keep it as a human
give me a mason jar and then one time I was right about it but you usually you’re not right cuz you got a million songs we’re leaving him and it was me Drew Carey Sam and the picnic Benet was back into our friend produced like me a long time ago and we’re leaving and I said well you have a great show I give him hell out there
I was leaving the director Saving Silverman was there like like they just made that movie when he was talking to him and have a good show is like
we will
how do you say give me away like I’m like
Knock Em Dead watch
I don’t care you so we leave and Sam was like what the fuk was that about I’m like I don’t know the first song is a new song he had called give him hell how do you know that Jack likes
show me tonight yes
Rihanna song that might work to that was clar home is a village of mushrooms
cuz I sound like a rockstar
now I said you can’t dude Neil Diamond out of town
make my friend Johnny Velasquez ikaw by play some of this music on the show before he was he’s a session guitar player and he didn’t think 12 Songs was like one of the Neil Diamond’s last records with baby and I work with Neil for a few weeks and I’m a come in every morning without his toupee and he wear a denim jumpsuit
Atticus denim
just keep doing that
Brandy and a cigar and he would never talk to my friend Johnny and when Johnny was finally down he was wrapped on it and he was packing up his guitar and leaving for the final day Neil comes out of the booth and he’s like hey you’re Johnny right I’m sorry I didn’t really get to talk to you that much but it was really a pleasure working with you and do another record I want you to be on it cuz you’re out I like your I like I like what you do and John is like thanks man I got absolutely and if Johnny your real mother fucker and I mean that and I mean that in the best possible way
do you get worse
despite all outward appearances I’m straight but I I would make out with Neil Diamond
but that’s it
hey do you miss traveling with your besties like a girls trip do you miss going a huge family gathering Viking soul food do you miss meeting the parents so I can get out well actually, never misses that but you can still do all of these things with me Desmond Thorne on my podcast adventures in Black Cinema each week I take you on a journey through a new black film how it relates to the culture and sometimes out the themes related my own life so it’s always a little tea and a slight bit of embarrassment and of course as a filmmaker myself and one of the blackest Phil nerdiest film nerds like a verb you’re always in good hands
adventures in Black Cinema with Desmond Thorne executive-produced by Amanda seales new episodes every Tuesday on all major podcast platforms
Spencer is taking a shit I’m going to the show tonight and someone said yeah and end and he said it takes more than that to keep me down so whatever it is diarrhea a video like like being Spencer I mean can you imagine what goes on up there
and that ends our Emmy predictions segment which is why we lifted it so that you are on the East Coast are winning everything I say this morning
I did
you did put it is that why you need to do are you one of those guys
I want to know why you put a pretty good deal on a literally everybody like
the Emmys a terrible sort of like a like everybody worked on that stings and grazing and also like people that don’t even know a lot of people every single human being has ever made anything for television or movies had to had some kind of like credit on that show so they were happy or sad about that I just said you didn’t beat any of each other so there’s no satisfaction there they must be bummed out that’s why I think I bet they’re like going to each other in like smaller groups and going like man this is worth nothing because the guy we hated is also working on it yeah alright I guess I guess I guess I am different than the audience
I guess I do think about different shit I’m just leaving the great I’m only only I never a high one Sonic is the hose up your butt what happened
I went to the lady and she and she I’ve been going for a while and I was a little skeptical
but I’m I’m all right with it it’s not too bad it’s good it’s good she she did say the first time I did it I don’t use an adult one I use a child
applicator and I was like does that mean it’s like little boys Dick the roller coaster ride flattered because she was implying that your butthole like you most most colonic tarot readings you got a lot of extra shedding
more like a little boy’s penis. A little girls
you think the colonic instrument is is built on being a dick. I mean
maybe I should just assume they’re great
are you selling a tentative you said it was only pretty good and it wasn’t too bad it was not right so you got the baby one I got the baby ones of your delicious white little ass off
your words not mine. My colleagues use a larger gauge animator animators is my friend
I can’t wait
okay so really you’re not giving us any of the information that we actually want which is why what what does a person that goes and gets a clonic what what are the experiencing that makes him want to go get one I have enough parasite parasite yeah I’m trying to get rid of graboids in my intestinal tract for you Millennials those are the monsters from Tremors
I’ve got a pair that I got an error size you got a sand worm in your butt and this and this is as your but I’ve been I’ve been taking like massive amounts of I haven’t been I haven’t been very well, the last couple of months has been since the angel 30 like like obsessed with cleaning your butthole to the point where you’ve scalded it in the ass to move meanwhile I could be said certainly Superman’s Lex Luthor I am I am not from that planet if anything I pushed the limits of of of of of of what you should do when I tell you I would go

it’s a but you got a white bit more than that you’re going to go back out and collaborate with your friends you gave yourself an accidental colonic in your bathtub back in the day that I will never forget it yeah yeah I accidentally accidentally in my excited to use I bought a new house there were Jen your ass was up against the side of the tub yeah but well… Explain that what is it no I did I know you would jerk off but he will get his butt up against the Jets surprised when water range and filled me up like a water balloon
because before that all it did was tickled the rim and make me happier
but then one day I like I just I flew too close to the Sun is just that and I and I was like I was being in like
this is why I’m afraid to fly because the guys in the cockpit like it’s like how soon to take technology for granted but you ain’t heard no on your own shining like a Chrysler Building A lot of people in the corner just like that it be on the video feed of the him coming up and going like Webheads will remember that tub and was jerking off like a crazy person like
discovered like Jets on his butt hole and then one day I was like I went too far the setting was too high. Just turn on the faucet like no one is going to go in that water balloon and then there’s that all of a sudden I was like oh yeah
there’s probably people in the audience who do who are more for more they take their butt for more of a ride you know like like like there are experts in this house of off-roading think I know exactly what happened front-wheel drive and I was like this was lived I was I was just I was a newcomer to the hold involving the button anything other than than the other never had before which is which was Deep In Reverse the sensation of pooping in a place where he is I was out of the tub and over to the toilet instinctively
just gave myself an accidental enema and how did you feel pretty good
is it has Michelle really become as easy parties
slavery’s except for I guess UCP not doing so good
universal cable Productions the producers of harmonquest Amy Carl said you may have heard you mention her name she works there our savior is here saying stop it stop stop wait what am I doing I just met I just did like
we didn’t say anything he said so much he said so many things just now
when do you leave us for a for a Lego January
two years know where you guys shooting now shooting
Kent Canada
do you think it’s only 2 hours away you’ll come visit right what’s up with those delays we read about in the trades what you do wrong I don’t know what you’re talking about and I can’t say anything it was in the papers that said Lego Movie Viking delayed so I can do a colonic massive kalanick said he was going in for alcohol-related problems alcohol is a very concise you know what he would be the last person to what if you listed as crimes or bad qualities that definitely not on that list would be like
like he’s not like he was here he loves those are as long as it’s funny like he’ll share stuff and I don’t think it was his idea to like down platter orwellian doublespeak the idea of going into rehab cuz he left it was on his what’s that thing looks like the Twitter for celebrities who say like Legos I know your Fame is why should you do what normal people they’re like like that that that that that selfie you took might be working Monday one day don’t give that away I didn’t know what that thing is I don’t know should I just get something for no reason
only was it so it was like it was like a little paragraph and he said I’m going in because my love of vodka needs to be something that I am paraphrasing but it was it was it was it was all very clear my my families. I don’t want them to have to worry about me and like all that stuff I don’t know how that tune up stuff that’s probably some spokesman who trying to do their job the right way trying to protect it and all the stuff and mitigate Lake Connecticut’s then that becomes the funny thing is I get this going to be
he’s awesome and black man is sardonic and Black Manta we’re in the doctor strange movie
what would it be like if sardonic why are you sitting over there why don’t you get a chance is it that with the date today
no don’t like what you doing like okay alright where do I get over here I don’t know.
I don’t I don’t I don’t like you
why you have no choice because everyday is 6th grade for me that’s why I finally now I can I stop at that trough
I don’t like that the flight attendant welcomes you to the city that you’re arriving in with them
it just seems
it’s just a little bit of a needless mind fucking you like bullying thing I’ll call it what it is bullying like you just got
why is that bullying go why is it bullying unspoken part of that is you knew be you piece of shit that would that if the plane crashed would fall for the float cushion saying while I sprung out An Inspector Gadget parachute you might be reading into that a little
might might be reading into that I think they’re just trying to be nice to you
welcome to welcome to Chicago they say they are now well but I guess that’s better I guess cuz like if you’re flying from Los Angeles to Milwaukee like statistically speaking like the reason for that is that something’s gone wrong
Southwestern Oregon the fucking Muppet voices and Donald Duck is just the piece of shit is like a bus with wings they just like heihei get on board I hope you get to see somebody sitting on the floor two people with chickens next to you it’s the worst few days ago. Coming back from I forget and I was I walk up to the gate right at boarding time I didn’t know if I was later early or whatever and I said are you boarding the plane I didn’t know that was not in touch I thought maybe I was a couple minutes
I found a $20 bill on the Jet Bridge like on the walkway I didn’t realize her drop that money maybe it was one of the flight attendants I don’t know I’m sitting there and I got the $20 in my pocket and we get we get in the air and the table first class $20
meaning like no I did not drop
that meant it was hers right but she was trying to lay a little trap they’re like no I found I don’t know somebody else drop $20 to it was very confusing but maybe if I say no I feel so guilty long are they
you know that that was counterfeit I think I think I picked up and stole a $20 awesome like criminal was taken a plane and was dropping counterfeit 20 they like a bullet hole in his duffel bag or hers you found one and then someone else found another one
because he got shot up the whole story so defensive when I have a whole lot of leg so now I had to go somewhere it isn’t there is awesome open this and sweetness to the Midwest and to Milwaukee in particular but also a lot of weird like
but not shame ourselves facing right
that’s because the people who draw Focus get kicked out
of Milwaukee like me and trapped cousin to Canada I mean it’s like you’re right up there you’re you’re a hop skip and a jump you’re in a very cold climate that’s like inhospitable like you’re in God’s Crosshair the question becomes why are you so cocky why don’t you go somewhere warm for the answer has to be don’t get cocky don’t get kind that has to be the Mantra of of of a of a more seasonal climate and Milwaukee’s like that so it’s on the surface of it there’s this wonderful humility and and and camaraderie fraternity or sorority
you are fucking nail and it took the fuck out of tonight
play tomorrow’s headlines are going to be like in Harman included it everybody after the fact receiving their homes
on the tales of sentences with a booth appendage addenda comprable only two of the bionic advocate
a lesser-known franchise from the 70s
we can rebuild him with an understanding that women are human
her up Lumberjack you could have been a woman or or lumberjill he passed it it’s like if you’re there for the surface of of of that of that that Milwaukee say it’s like it’s it’s really beautiful because I understand it’s a it’s a great place by A Great Lake
brake place by Grand Lake okay hahaha because we largely don’t anymore anyways. There’s it, because it comes from I think self-loathing benefits to there’s a cushion on top of you when you arrange yourself around a religion of humility to say that’s like a very Midwestern thing like what do I know all the stuff but that doesn’t automatically make you a good price
and it doesn’t automatically mean a conversation with you like everyone walks away not having their soul stolen because that’s your religion it’s like also like well then it’s you have to come question everything you have to question all ambition you have to question it’s like there’s no such thing as a typical anything so don’t get offended if you’re listening in the walking going this isn’t me you don’t understand anything I’m I’m just talking about a artificial construct a median but that’s my that’s my kind of feeling about that Compass is like oh yeah and one hand like I’m so grateful I grew up somewhere where it’s a crying shame to think that you’re all that like it’s just a straight-up fucking social crime that especially back then was like way higher than the definition of feminism was still bleeding women can do better
who is friend Dave freed all his toes are falling off on one of his feet he has to do and now he has several Fritos
in his 9/11
all right don’t you hear that a lot of people. He was such like
get why people were cheering
but it’s mostly old school destroyed of Taliban I have like parasites that’s why I was doing the
I think I was candido though
fuck you talking about Candida
what what do you think there’s places in like like roller coasters where it where it like like sleeper cells or caves or whatever we’re supposed to wherever the people that are like The Addams Family that in our mythology that like like like 911 like Cinco de Mayo like they like they kind of like like it’s more like there’s like those kind of like a little like like there’s a there’s a color scheme has 4,000 people in New Jersey
I saw it I saw it and Barack Obama was born in the United States. Please get back to what we were talking about
is the best
lying piece of shit and then I am the Duke of Hazzard Sergeant Lee my car
Surgeon General
General Lee was originally listed car
raising a giant cockroach cockroach I can see it from here I’m further back than you am I know it’s crawling on the red wall it’s over by it’s over by Steve leave his head that’s probably an important time to announce that the Meltdown is opening a restaurant
cut cut that the patty melt down
that was a big cockroach
I’ll tell you that I don’t like you guys had a spider going up and diagonal so it’s above your heads and his body would have to have so much mass that it fits legs designed anchor itself one of them there’s like a thousand more in the wall but I don’t know
done with nothing to lose that one
about to get creeped out that that that cockroaches I think
having a having a hunted itself to near-extinction like having a headache having to having boxed out all the other roaches by beating them to the dry droplets of milk under every refrigerator and now it’s just like I don’t have nowhere to go I’m like I’m like the Hustler there’s no Minnesota Fats out here for him and it’s just like no it’s just climbing walls like a spider
do I have do I discover fire I think I’ve got like 6 hours left in my life believe you care about you all right or write that book got to write that book the book write the book write the book you don’t have all the time in the world think you’ve got more time because they are busy running Rick and Morty usually you’re trying but it’s not very well I don’t know what you’re talkin about what what are you talkin about
will you tell me later with the pound cake I don’t know
play Prince’s dead you just make sure that musical shit in a tree
I don’t know who I am anymore has become more Brands than What’s the title of the the book what is the title of the book dance at last
I’ll put it up at last you come up with the title last who does
the Royal you the person reading the book you got you you write the book and then you go now what should this be called that’s how it how it happens
yeah in my opinion if you’re doing it right yeah ok google fight a shark okay so then you start writing okay and then you went to the beach and then he fights the truck on base or like yeah yeah you just the title talk to you just tell me
if the book was done now what would it be called the two paragraphs about my grade school principal
the only two paragraphs other stories cuz that’s a win-win to the Shelby come you guys violating my nda’s alright
that’s always been our show my favorite scene in the movie thank you it’s it’s the one where he’s where he’s he’s he’s on his deathbed is very tender scene and he’s got any guys like one more thing spoilers you should you should be able to hold the send button down halfway and then Edward if you push it too hard you have to start over and then but if you then if you swipe up you can send him
holy shit right up to The Bitter End that guy with the fucking ideas
you just told us the engine
Apple’s lots of grip a little bit but I’m still coming but I have the new software I don’t think so heavy. Can you see balloons and confetti when you see it when I send them to you
as I watch that the office didn’t didn’t stick seemed really cool
is that a Apple watch seems really cool so cool it was cool like I was like a little little phone on your wrist but it was connected to your phone right is that how it was yes Apple watch seem kind of cool
same kind of cool
well I yeah I got into a rhythm of every time I believe these people I got my life improved old people
Dan Harmon we’re coming to your house we had the Apple people we have this new watch we want to show you that seems kind of cold
how would you like to wear it for maybe 9 episodes
Ronny Cox
call your bluff
I overstepped my bounds is an apple Thursday night
the system is flawed I’m just as much to blame as you do yourself up and come on sit sit on the couch with me for a second or two
call Paul George
now now don’t talk like that Ed Edwards please cuz that’s not right now look in the room and look at that do you know when I look when I look at your marriage look at that look at you all you need is to comb your hair just a little bit and maybe let’s slip this let’s let this caller up look at the ads hey who’s this handsome guy
look at this guy just just yeah
call Charles
all right you know I thought you were okay hey hey have a nice life fuck face
you see you’re a piece of shit and I didn’t want to say this before but you’re a fat ass fucking piece of fucking shit you know you looked worse yet suck every dick in this building to the front counter we all know you suck I tried to be nice to you this is why no one likes you because you’re a fucking piece of shit. Hello to Periscope okay great no oh no oh no oh okay okay
just got home about 10 seconds ago I had a conversation with a colleague
when I tell him I just handed it to her looking for Dan Harmon without curling
I was built for
what was made
make a note about figuring out that reaction
Soldier Boy
baby Ariel
anyways now I don’t know what I’m going to do
hello hello and this is your mother
so I just turn up the volume
why are you going what are you talkin about just let us know if it’s a simple quick do you have to do is say are you coming over tonight Starbucks, I just need to know if I should I need to I have to defrost a potato salad and I have to start on Thursday because it’s like a block of ice over here. Are you coming or not if you’re not coming it’s fine yeah you know you don’t miss only so many years left with your father but yeah if you don’t want to you don’t want to come over it’s fine yes black metal
you don’t recognize what you just did the most everything is 10 seconds with you everything is 10 seconds with you when all I want is 24 hours on the weekend

well it’s pretty complicated well I mean it just seems you know
you know you’re at your the top military item of the next year and it just seems you were should have a boyfriend at least something you know but you understand me I don’t know how to
so terrible I’m so terrified you have
William William William ask him if he’s coming over to ask him if he’s coming over now and I just I just you know all I wanted all I wanted to know is to get a little bit of fair warning Illinois
Ed Edward would you please answer your phone either
thank you for all right now I’m going to go mow the lawn
William William William
William William William Edward
unprecedented precedented hydraulic feature stories are being chapped too much
need I remind you you’re treated you
you’ll have to
directly there
welcome to Phoenix
I just passed eyes
yes I just remember that
3 hours later
hello at this point in time and I haven’t seen him in town
Ed 209
I thought you were saying I know I’m the Apple person that you kicked out
oh my God yes I was a person that try to give you some self-esteem by combing your hair and popping your collar
and you were such a dick I excuse me
I don’t like you
how much discharge
is it would have to be this way
you’re into a knife
how how do you prevent yourself I don’t search Bible.
sit down so we can get on with our lives why can’t you stick for one second
we’re now Landing in Phoenix welcome
Brown because doctor doctor doctor Linton Boulevard
apparently we’re little kitty pants because it keeps
zip code
would you like musically when I got my own music
what’s a mariachi band to meet me and my friends I said I don’t care
okay we just know they’re going to silence and you’d be quiet. Be quiet.
What does
we just had a roller coaster installed in the backyard
it’s glad you could finally make it
Edward Monica
glad you can finally take off time from your busy schedule
you have three breath to love me bread
Lifeforce at 20%
even though I was already here
the roller coaster
all my characters dead
Megan Megan what happened
Ed Edward Monica just gave his her life to save yours I know I know I know our marriage has been Loveless and you’re racist I’m a straight-up I was straight-up trumpy and I just let you know he’s not going to win that I know I know I know I hate this this I know it would be ever figure out the pronoun
it was just so much effort yeah I feel great I feel good so pretty good I know that’s why the potato salad is thought out
but there’s only enough for you in me I don’t want to live anymore but now I’m so full of life force does a what does a portal on Monica to a 9 the shape just like my hand what
can you put my hand about the handshake portal
RoboCop programs developing embryonic phase initiated
come quietly or there will be trouble
who am I
I have had Peter Weller’s mouth
Murphy I will call myself it’s you
do you want to go on the roller coaster
it’ll come at a price and daughter die I’ll have to die again and just let me go this time just let it happen
Dead or Alive you’re coming with me
cultural complexity
god dammit I wish you was 10 on that for a good apple watch people coming back if I didn’t really help you know just kind of going enemies and allies like I just wasn’t wasn’t listening to his space work so it’s fucked up everything you feel you know the way some external Force even inside of you might say things should be changed like you should go with your original feeling so if you really wanted that kind of have a will come back cuz we will leave really a town to do that character
how your wires
yes because to just follow your pee learn to sit when you do old school yeah I have a huge got a huge, but that was a dark that was not that was not I was not a good thing but in my opinion I think you should be able to interpret true which I do believe that was you should be allowed to interpret it however you want I think I actually there was a transphobic message as well as a more uplifting when I saw there was a Christ miss about somebody who was being crucified but but Archie Bunker might go like when I get like that but that’s that starts a conversation you know with your parents and with your with your neighbors
I fucking done with work at 10 we’re good parents robots to or they were there I think they were Peter Weller and Nancy Allen
oh the whole time I’ve heard it from the Canon of the original but it came on origin story for us to go there are some Looper elements because it seemed like Ed was lamenting the RoboCop program in the break room but then ended up being the birth of it look like remember the first floor is like I was amazing I are working an American film in a long time
and maybe we are all batteries that makes sense don’t think about it off course that’s a perfectly legitimate source of voltage
I think Ed’s conversation with his mom was very touching I like that I like the whole thing yeah we’re ruining it we can’t be afraid to just move on and let come up with an even better closer
Summit product we have to advertise doing
okay what we’re going to do me and he’s in the studio because what’s Mandy’s glad you asked me what the softest most comfortable underwear on the planet Earth fabric which
for free they send you another pair of making a murderer my favorite murder and she pronounced it model or so you should try them out I think I’d very negative language is truly I’m wearing them right now that they’re genuinely soft romantic fashion I don’t believe you
I want proof well I may I may not be wearing them so I might go for a lady like he was six foot room to just spare
game designer have you done stuff for the that we put in VR
pornography I was just talking to him cuz he’s really in the context of this I’ve only been doing like the demo I did I did immediately almost immediately I brought up pornhubpremium like in Virtual space I just wanted to know like
what’s it would be different if if the website I went you watch pouring like if it was like all the sudden like it’s just in front of you and the answer is obviously making vrporn I just haven’t. I just haven’t gotten into it yet although the address for him and tilt brush already made me a little
I would like cuz it’s like his most impressive thing is like it’s just like the tracking that’s what it is it’s like it that’s why in the 90s we were talking about VR incessantly it like honeycomb commercials and things are like ours here and it wasn’t but it’s the I think it’s the tracking technology cuz you’re holding these things now and they’re just tracking perfectly and you use so everything that you’re doing in there like I I was on Mars that was assembled out of Mars Rover pictures and like you still Locomotion thing is always going to be an issue now cuz it’s like you got your he got your rich people who could afford to have one of these systems we have external external trackers where you like okay like the equivalent of a swimming pool basically cuz you’re like who has the real estate till I give over a a bedroom to this system we have to have total Force Base
what is so impressive that you can kind of like do this casual kind of like walk around but you can’t let go bounding off into the woods you immediately your you have to like so everything is based on like kind of teleportation right now is it was it you have to like just teleport to places and then you can walk around six feet in that area but it’s it’s just unbelievable there’s no question once you’re in at your like okay that’s it like like like like in terms of like storytelling like I don’t even know how we’re going to do our job anymore cuz like the guy who I do know it’s time to retire because like we had to be a whole different skill-set I think AI is even going to be better at because your job as a writer in a post VR world is going to be is going to have so much more to do with volume and like procedurally generated like the volumes of eavesdrop Apple material because I think your job is going to be to create the illusion of infinity so is you know since the Lumiere Brothers
feeding on this cut to that here’s where we excuse what you see now and here’s what you see now we were all born into this world we don’t even know so now you put on this thing and it’s like oh you can’t do everything has to be based on just like its it has to be like that that old saying in New York where you’re walking around the Midsummer Night’s Dream production and you can go through everything is good sleep no more what’s it called Faith No More it’s called Faith no more no more Rockefeller Center everybody knows what soap opera writing a little bit that way the volume cuz you’re going to like oh you can be our people come to every other week like we’re always talking about like how are you what are you like I’ve been over at Justin’s house underwater and saw the whale I went over the mountain
the elephant
so to speak yeah what’s up with what I’m doing right now Duncan sent me a link to a Reddit thread it to me cuz I don’t I’m not familiar with any of this is why I said I was just talking about it is okay this is fun but is there is other games were my fat ass can sit in a chair like I just want to drive or fly a helicopter over my feet get tired like a museum and be like in a flying chair and go shoot people and I forgot to make it work and he said like he just said porn? And I said I only went as far as to experiment with screen
I don’t get the Tilt brush in virtual reality that will blow your mind the most because you’re painting you can freak out is the palate interface it’s you have Wicked where your wrists would be you have
this Cube that you can rotate by swiping it’s it’s an immediate indication of how much more convenient it’s going to be to work in VR in terms of menus and like it and stuff it it’s because you just like there’s a cube on your wrist that you just slip slip slip slip and it was like all these different like so okay you pick your brushes and then you pick like fire brush when you paint with fucking fire in the air and it’s like you can just make a tunnel of fire and stick your head through the air then you could grab the whole space and shrink it down and rotated a list of New York turned on tilt brush so one of my weight was so if you wanted to like sculptor something is like a little pedestal there you can’t touch the pedestal these things but it’s like it already makes you think I got it at whatever the Disney of the future as if people are still you know
you people are just going to obviously let that hurt that’s how you’re going to model like the Mickey Mouse is in the future you’re going to I haven’t been Minecraft now but I’ve downloaded Grand Theft Auto V like Justin told me is like I just didn’t it in the strip club for like 10 minutes just look around
that’s the scary part cuz it’s like well guess what you do next you start shooting everyone. That’s how I know you’re playing the game wrong already just terrified but if you’re over 40 you do if your your age maybe you’re like that
that’s why I went down so much God damn I can’t find the park but how does it how do you make it for shoot where’s my grandchildren
where’s my grandchildren
where’s my where’s my laundry in the background so you can have like a marble pedestal and make it any kind of room you want you ask me a fucking question and I’m in a middle of a 10 minutes
I’m in the in the end and start the question is I tell us about your fucking sexually perverse brain like a monster and I’m trying to get there
one of the backgrounds that you can change it to is like a dress form you know
it’s a it’s a torso it’s a forever wood for painting fabric to sew you said you switching but there is Saturn in there is a time in the desert and I’m painting those up. It’s like the dress for him and I was just like I said yeah oh my God no head show how I feel like you guys are interpreting this the wrong way but maybe not I don’t know I mean take me to check on what I’m trying to do is say like I already took the technology is so pretty but it’s looks like you’re in a virtual reality but there’s a thing that is life size in front of you that even the even Findlay Red Rabbit
I like the idea of beauty like sometimes how it’s sometimes actually not only its filters reality but sometimes it seems like like the whole point is that it’s not real going to be this whole I mean you look at today like you have sole of your sexual and like like like we’re in this modern world like people are finding out all these different ways to be turned on in like now we’re going to have the first generation born into a world where people who identify as like look here’s my sexuality like like like I don’t know you’d have to talk to one of them I want to mischaracterizing safe and make it gives me a boner I said that sounds whatever
I just said that it’s like it’s a it’s a dress for me couldn’t be less it’s like the vague hint of femininity in the vague hints of like a thing in front of you and of course I was just like quickly can just like kind of like you put your hands out there because that’s your instinct I keep I would say you were cuz I’m trying to like decriminalize myself but that’s what I did like it was like this is like like like like like loose morals I’m glad I’m I’m on the way out I don’t I don’t know if I’d be equipped to like like handle the things that are I had four kids like like how they’re going to have to sort themselves out around the shed cuz you’re going to be able to do anything you want like like like like all the time and I think also that the plants can be dying so that the more time we spend in this thing the last time we’re going to be driving are fog machines
prison would you love to do we’re going to be like okay you get to being a virtual prison so your cell can be smaller in real life is August’s signs in front of every freeway that says when you say you put your hands out at this address form I’m holding your holding up these we paddled right now they haven’t done like that you know you’re not Minority Report in yet with like fingerless gloves yet but I’m sure that’s coming but it’s actually more handy right now that they have like these very elaborate like cuz that would just be the two buttons on off this is like that they saw these paddles you shaking your head
right as soon as I get rid of the wires right now it’s like ridiculous is like you have like a big braids like six cables coming out of the top of your head that like you have to traipse around it’s like thank God I used to do stand-up so I’m like not falling on my ass like I just like so what else is going on ladies by Applause
it’s it’s it’s not there yet but anyone that puts this thing on is going to be like I get it it’s here it’s not going anywhere and it’s going it’s like it’s the first time this is the Sugarhill Gang and then like
if there were people back then what is all this dumb wrapping thing and it’s like no it’s it’s happening in the show now
and with the the other the RoboCop transgender the metaphor it was pretty good of great it was the Odyssey of
I look I haven’t seen transparent but I think we do think we’d beat them I think we beat them a little mini episode about like that too and I’m transgender thing going to do a little Talking Dead will be here till 3 in the morning and I want to hear some more vocoder
totally hit me he was sorry I had a button that I’d that they weren’t ever depressed
testing testing
yo yeah yeah yeah I don’t think I can get my voice to change unless I’m on that microphone my name is Anthony Johnson I live at 21253 Avenue street doesn’t have a name. I live at 21252 Avenue what street has no name how about you have you grown up on the street without a name I’m describing of a situation and that is the same for us a generation born into a Jetta T cry Steve’s I’m a Pisces I thought your mom was like these I got crabs do in a 19 out of the door
trying to do for it run four times if you’re in pain
I want to explain something to you about your mama on the morning to the grass gets wet and in the morning but so does your mama have your shoes with Anthony
911 Rob
I’ve been your comptroller Jeff Davis
don’t get your high colonic


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