Episode: 299 – Rock Me Homo Deus


Episode: 299 – Rock Me Homo Deus


Dan’s trainer, Dave Klein, returns to take the audience through a workout session. Jeff returns as comptroller, and Schrab shows Dan what it would be like to live next to a Neanderthal. Featuring Dan Harmon, Jeff Bryan Davis, Spencer Crittenden, Dave Klein and Rob Schrab.


I think ready to go hello my name is Jeff Bryan Davis I’m very happy to be back come trolling I know that we all left Brandon Johnson but his reign of terror is over
it’s my honor to announce once again from beautiful MacArthur Park Los Angeles harmontown is now it’s session
Craigslist Lexington
PJ masks characters
did he get spinner or is he further away from me right now both oh yeah what column Dan Harmon
thank you
Jeff Davis revoiced
free voice I can talk again yeah revoiced moist the lyrics to srimoyee voiced maybe I can wrap with you maybe you can sing at you maybe I could pee and poop
maybe I can get a harpoon
am I a whale
yes and I’m a whaler
riding on my ship there she blows
I want the shirt
okay not like we’re going to hurt you
do you now have are you like when when our friends have a quadruple bypass has and they’re like secretly they’re they’re they’re like I can eat anything now. But I can I get to go home I can do that now and who didn’t miss me going I could but I shouldn’t bring what you got what you could do it you could do like George Michael but not Neil Diamond
so I could do
I can’t touch your body to put back some easy that’s give me some hot tea and
that’s because you’re a tenor I’m a baritone I can go even though you look like Pavarotti
it doesn’t get any better there’s nothing written so actually that you should be impressed by that I’m not saying you have to be if you’re not going to be a long night at do you think I’m not going to play it so we don’t get in trouble do you think Father Figure is in I don’t know Keys father figure in your life for just one moment baby I don’t know
is that is that is that is that he’s that an e sharp
that’s totally sure. I know it’s me that I have to do a thing every day called the the swelling test where I have a piano keyboard and I play a note and I have to I have to find my ceiling and if I lose my feeling my half a step
be quiet for a day if I lose my ceiling by a whole step call her because something bad is happening but when she first gave it to me a sharp for my late in the fourth octave I’m now C5 as a fucking big jump I don’t know
Dave Klein knows Dave client comes from a family of can you give me a before that was effing you’re being a bully when you get your green screen elliptical
then Dave client is wearing a t-shirt and he’s got the 40 composted kennel what are you doing that’s not hard that’s harder than
okay night that that scans that’s cancer
I just want to narrate that Jeff went for to power moves and without power move both times by Dave Klein impressive
am I going to am I becoming the fat guy in Hermantown the Peregrine and how is fucking shit is if you didn’t have to introduce day we can tell from looking at him that he’s the sculpture of your body
I see that you used to scream personal trainer
he also screams shampoo and conditioner in the order of yoga got a 200 hours certification with the national yoga Alliance to Yoga Works out at The Yoga Works
I also have an illustrious swimming career former state champion New Jersey representative of the USA Zone competition Columbia Division 1 swim program NCAA YMCA National Championship qualifier let’s go
I’m also pretty nasty to pick up basketball court again I think I think the punk movement really kind of got it down right
what I think
how about his movement power spirit and linking your energy mind and Physiology into a reality that you’re comfortable with so much and so
do you know my favorite exercise has this ever been done it’s got a shamanic elements got a lot of cardio it’s going to be encouraged anyone get in this number 1 2 3 4 5
hey if you got your hand out to an exercise that’s not a traditional yoga element all right it’s a little bit sped up all right my name is Dave is nice to meet you my name is Davis nice to meet you my name is David so nice to meet you my name is Dave it’s nice to meet you status of the Guardians I love that shout out Define define define nice to meet you did we did not in the alt right
well this is I don’t know I don’t know
we got all of Fortune up here
okay alright ladies start out slow cuz of the music Shake It On Down
bring it up halfway
bring it on back down back up
back down halfway on up halfway down XL
lick it all back up up up up. Hold hold break it on down freestyle because I’m going to eat
speed it up a little bit faster on learning okay bye
long hair
energetic I do but you know what you are going to do you’re going to get all the blood in your heart to come up to your knocking into your brain
we’re going to head back right now right it’s the same motion is Yoga just a little faster with a difference in hell
call excel in like 10 verbs
and help
that’s right all right we’re just going to start sweating the fire inside
same movie I’m going to demonstrate where we’re going with this now it’s going to be a little bit faster
now that’s dangerous
I guess that they’re opting out they’re opting out today
yeah but most of them have have contacts in so they ever going to finish out this we do any good yoga practice for the cooldown
take a nice deep breath in for 3
old Mystery Case exhale out
look this world
there’s a lot going on energetically politically personally you know who knows
just laid down so here’s what you need to do lay on down there’s a classic yoga pose called savasana AKA corpse pose corpse pose names
don’t lay your hands down all right and now you got a choice here if you put your thumbs down on the ground you’re kind of a closed circuit and you just kind of stand in your own Zone and Ken getting your your energetic kind of properly orbiting your spirit I
formula hancom on orbit that Spirit you want to receive it or you want to watch this
don’t know but seriously on the real if you want to receive a little bit of an energetic from the universe that’s all you have a choice straight everybody likes a straight thumbs up and just do three nice Brown’s of four count in for count for count out that’s it just three of them answered the phone that’s it all right well thank you but yeah you might want to rewind mute the volume and just think about me undies for 3 minutes and socks
but I also think about some driving to the video version of the podcast cuz it’s right you could be looking at people laying down that’s right all right all done bring your knees up to the sky you’re going to bring yourself up to a seated position you can gently rise up with this newly energized. You guys were fucking phenomenal I got to thank you for your fucking positivity and going along with him tonight at the session
everybody got the picture let’s hear from you guys have a fantastic
you got it. How far
all right yeah I mean that’s what you do every morning I’m going to try not to be fazed by the fact that I thought he meant it when he was saying all that stuff to me all the time
then I was amazing and doing a great job you just said that to a bunch of strangers and just lay there but they didn’t work as hard as I do and you know who wants to see how hard he works
we got at least I’m not trying to get out of it we can’t keep the people listening to the podcast we have to say anything I’m going to say I’m going to say real fast
54 / $12.90 / 31
and they don’t want to see you take your shirt off before you do it
you’ll was a joke but I appreciate it you all all the way all the way I wanted you to see my Minecraft for shirt first
can taking his shirt off Body by Klein
you need so much skinnier crazy
all right do you want to call out any other podcast right now.
Chris Pratt coming for you Chris Pratt
Puerto Rico weather tonight
he’s doing it he’s blinking
drive to Jose morejon oh my God route are loving it. And if you’re not watching
going for another friend, what’s up
brother evolve
Jordan personal.com yeah
video trampoline
as if getting ready to masturbate
is there a
coming for you Chris Pratt
I didn’t really mean for you to take your shirt off I was just doing it that I know you didn’t say it so I did
know what I say now that was spoken outstanding that wasn’t me that was asked
amazing fucking great effort on that but he doesn’t that sound the same as when he sent it to those other people
similar enough that’s it for me it was worth losing my voice just to see that oh yeah you going to do a spelling test every day right now play a C V I think David’s got it yeah you’re still there are you still there
I think it’s I think it’s like yeah I went to the desert with Cody
that’s just what Jeff was doing
that’s the same thing but you have perfect pitch relative
today is the day jacket
that’s definitely an F5
that’s terrifying an amazing adventure
to burn a tribe tribe
he’s certainly doing some tricks let me tell you a quick strike
Steve Levy and round shot at the same time
that was the trick
yep I’m good thank you
all right but you did well alright knock it off everybody would clean it up clean up the show come on all right sorry I went to the desert with Cody storytime
story time story time
he’s going to tell us a story he’s going to need a yarn
and it’s this kid came out from the kitchen and to service our food to bring the food to the table and any and he was very bashful and and he said can you come careful it’s a hot plate mr. Harman serving you has been my birthday and I and I said I said is it your birthday
and he said yes it’s today is my birthday and I was like I wanted to say I hate me in serving you like I could be better if it wasn’t that he should have said it is now but it was his birthday
blast her doing that I went back to his Twitter 10 years and I found some jokes that
about Monica Lewinsky that were pretty come oriented which is not really what’s in right now with that kid yes that gives James Conner

he is a kid how old I get a teenager I mean I’m 45 everyone’s a kid
Spencer aren’t you playing something hey on the piano. Tell you another story that’s not really a story it’s another funny thing is I was I was watching a true-crime show and people said those things are like a cop trying to like the cops are trying to another trying to
sound hard boiled
and like I said it’s like finding a needle in a basket of Haystacks
is it going to run that sounds like it might be easier for a bunch of a bit in a basket which is rather find a needle in a haystack that’s right magnets yeah oh right before their powerful enough to suck being exchanged
and that’s not the sound of two high fives he had two mics up to one high five
and that’s not the sound of for my I5 that’s for Mike to your elbow
I guess it’s a bad trick
I don’t really have anything else that was a tooth there’s a two things
are there yeah what do you what do you think is easier than finding a needle in a haystack Forefront of Kayla and a basket of Haystacks the history and future history of Humanity jeans and Homo Deus in the morning podcast come on people if we have to stay he thinks it’s a podcast
stop it I said come on stop and see if the same thing come on yeah I did read this book homo Deus homo Deus how much you can remember it by the author of sapiens I was talking about the book sapiens last time so the 2016 follow-up I think homo Deus it’s talking about what was to become of us where we’ve been and what’s to become of us very eye-opening and then I punching and then I closing because it’ll just it’ll just make you want to roll over and wait for the dreams last night Mary of our Evolution to end the way it’s going to which is us becoming robot people talk to screw
yeah I’m sure that’s accurate which which which which of the screws into the eyeballs did you find most you know or most memorable or interesting or which screws into the eyeballs
people are paying money
I thought the most interesting aspect was tracing the evolution of human religion globally from you know animism Marana Miss whatever that is where you’re like you know we were talking about that last time I go my friends and bird he he he brought me fire and you know he can fly and I can’t and kind of on equal terms with everything around me as friend almost all these Critters and moving from that to polytheism moving from that to monotheism and then we really have replace that with with humanism like we even if we don’t want to admit it we want to talk about things like I believe in God and all that stuff we still are having conversations about looking within ourselves which wasn’t always the case a long time ago thank you would actually like grab a sword and like run over to the Middle East with it because you truly actually believe that something outside yourself was going to like make you a Silver Surfer after you died like like like you you really believed in it the in the way that you believe we’re ways is 10
you to go like like it was a concrete still have that philosophy these days then really believed that there was like an external force and we have evolved in terms of our philosophy even the religious among us even a zealot is somebody who still saying you know I’ve looked Within Myself and I know what God’s mission is kind of like they’re not waiting for like a cloud like to come and help save them from pigeons or something like they’re involved in humanism the worship of humanity big branches of humanism that are kind of you know at odds and like the one that one out is Liberal Liberal humanism which is basically saying look I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow but I know it’s important to be human you know and then the other one is the evolutionary humanism in a lot of us probably go back and forth between these things but in our current political State you can see these things magnified to the point where they
kill ants and burn wood because it’s like the extreme forms of that shit in the way that you pull up a lever in a polling Booth is like it’s it’s like god dammit humanism is like I love Humanity so much that I don’t want that person slowing us down I don’t want that person getting away with anything I’m tired of saying that that person’s equal to that person when we all know that’s not true some things are more valuable than others like you would stop fucking around and let’s get better I say that with a mocking voice because that’s not the team I fight for her because I don’t know what how do you how do you stand on that slope without slipping into the fucking Moff Tarkin territory like I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t know maybe it says more about me than you that I can’t I can’t go near that fucking slope I choose not to I don’t want to stay in there I prefer that the liberal humanism which is like pretty to eat explaining where we’ve been and talking like
World War 2 is like this kind of like Grand sort of climax of the love of it was it was it was a battle during which like liberal democracy it was this close to extinction because it was catching a left punch from socialism all the poor people waking up so you can see this in your your friends and we were having these conversations right now with the socially saying hey liberals you know you are rich and you are privileged and you are saying that you want everybody to be free because if they’re free they’re free to do what they did yesterday I just do the same thing tomorrow and you’re free to be rich and therefore to be poor and and socialists are like we’re catching on to you you’re not you’re an elitist and and left Punch coming and then at the same time leading up to World War II losses Right Punch coming from your your little characters around the world we’re going hey I’m poor too and you know what sick and tired of saying that guy beautiful when the truth
cuz he’s ugly and I don’t want to listen to this song when I want to listen to Wagner it’s beautiful it’s
and while I’m tired of
world proves that everything is like like needs to be better in a stoplight
and both of those guys you got two left fist in a right fist coming at the people with all the money who were like living high on the hog and who could only win that war that that that chapter really by forming an alliance with socialism like that lives like we could only really win World War II by teaming up with Russia but that’s just a microcosm of the general General facts that as far as these data fields are concerned these philosophies it’s like liberal democracy was it’s sort of like saying hey can’t we all just get along can we all just hang out and it’s your crimes are unintentional kind of when you say that your crimes are silenced you know your crimes are you’re not really helping necessarily and that needed to be fused with the poorest other people
we had a pair that with the I believe in that so much I’d like to help the poor like that kind of fusion came out of of that chapter which is the only way that this liberal is humanism beat out the evolutionary humanistic model
matters to us alive but it doesn’t really matter on the grand scale you can tell this guy is like that we just rode to the sort of like go like this and I’m waving my hands in a nonsensical motion for this was like doing a double helix they it’s like II considered a great thing with that one side 100 the other but all roads lead to a distinct lack of room in that like all humanism which is the only thing that survived like no one’s out there like I worship a black cat from outer space that really exists like they’re like we are all human is around the globe to these like facts these warring factions of humanist are all going to one way or another be slaves to data technology that you’re not going to beat we’re not going to be able to say that our goal is for Humanity to be either happy or involved in improved those are both of those teams would eventually just get
swallowed up by algorithmic thinking because even if you’re the most loving like like let’s just play it as it lays open your heart be a good person kind of person like it’s only a matter of time before that person has to admit that doing that without using data that we are covering about people is actually just willful Disobedience of of making people happy likes to get weird vascular quickly approaching the threshold according to this author where that like computers are good at didn’t computers like we think I still think a computer or a laptop in Ocean whatever the fucking information filled that we’re creating the internet of all things is going to know us better than we know ourselves it’s going to be a we’re not going to be able to keep up with people who are willing to let data tell them who to date tomorrow what to eat where to put their kids in school lately how to approach their fur
how to feel like no matter what your philosophy is algorithms are going to be it’s like like the way I put it I’m not paraphrasing him I’m just saying like you can’t you can’t shake your fist at a choo choo train faster than a train but you can stand next to a train track and go like I hate that durn train track like and you could be right like train tracks are ugly the same blow smoke it’s beautiful next to the train track you could live in a nice log cabin but that the everybody on the train is going to fuck more and make more people up in the person of the Log Cabin so that’s just the basic put your philosophy right now where are you at I think it puts all of our philosophies it in this kind of like just sort of newly perspective like it just said that’s the struggle we’re having right now but then it’s like it really matter almost like cuz it’s like like we’re so close to an age and he wrote this book into 2016 like January I think
and so I would think that you would have more paragraphs about I Told You So if if if if while he was writing and he was like working this like shit happening cuz he’s kind of predicting it in this book and I’m like oh shit he’s he predicted the idea that we’re going democracy is going to start to be assailed by Daya that that that algorithms and he he gives us examples and it’s I think it’s blind like he’s not he didn’t read about Cambridge analytica he didn’t he just giving the example he goes like his Facebook account have more information about people than they have about themselves and they did a study where the people said is that they didn’t gave people’s closest friends at asked about their friends they said how well do you know Jeff Davis answer these questions and then they kept the algorithmically predicted answers to themselves and there’s were more accurate that Facebook itself can answer questions about you more than your friends can and then on top
more than you can say that because we don’t remember shit like we we live the fucking weird experience real life but are narrative is like it’s hardwired so the guy give this example it’s a little hokey but it’s also kind of poetic I’ll bet you’re going to go on a date in the future and you you say to your Cortana Google saying you go I don’t know who I should Carl called me and Jerry called me like he’s awesome and makes me laugh but Carl’s craw has more respect for me I think I don’t know I do I’m so confused my parents like I don’t know what to do and they will quickly be approaching a time when your your Google Cortana Siri thing you like whatever this is will say to you Hey listen I know you better than you know yourself like I’m not talking down to you I’m just here to help and I know I know you so well that I know you’re not going to like what I have to tell you but I have monitored your
heart rate on every date you’ve ever been on with both of these guys and I have monitored their heart rate that I would rather I’ve talked to their Cortana Google you guys gave limited authorization to to do a little brokering of of the of the adrenaline of the endocrine levels in the things that you felt and the end I read all of the books that you read I’ve even read the books finished the books that you fell asleep reading and I’ve noted the parts where you fall asleep I’ve noted the paragraphs that you have to read over and over again because some of some of them you want that are important to you I’m some of them you’re too dense to get like an all of this for me is information and for you it’s just fleeting gas and you don’t know if you get a cold you might vote wrong where is I know what you march for and I know what t-shirts you bye and I know how you genuinely feel on average for the last 15 years of your life and I’m telling you 87% Carl that’s all I
and also wear the green dress it makes you look better like you’ve been retaining water lately and you tend to blah blah blah I like it’s going to it’s going to be better at telling you ship that’s going to actually make you succeed in by our definitions of success better than your aunt can is this batch is humanity in to like this gets like he’s like just admit it we’re going to merge with data do you dig that no because I think the bad aspects of that like Society using evil data to control people’s minds that’s already happening so like it’s not it’s going to get worse the same way everything’s always getting worse but I think the potential for good is good I don’t know there’s one government I don’t know where it is it’s in like the Netherlands or something I don’t know but they they have a section of of government where
they enact legislation by science so they use data to determine what’s probably the best policy to enact then they do a test run of that policy take data and then they analyze that policy and do another test policy until they have policy that they can actually an act that they know is going to work and it doesn’t have to do with voting it’s just data and knowledge and Science and that’s probably better than governance I can see how that can be hijacked by manipulators on its own but that’s all flows freely enough hacking it shouldn’t matter too much like especially things that don’t have to do with privacy we have to wear green dress green dress
yeah I ate it it makes a pretty compelling argument for like let you know right now we’re worried about voting voting fraud and like how do we keep the the the polls honest and hopefully we’ll get through that but there is going to come a point where we’re going to start if we’re going to evolve we’re going to be asking ourselves at a certain point why are we why are we going to the pool to do this win the the pole is it supposed to be a measurement of of all of these like processors that are supposed to be networked together that are living their life together and having a social contract together so why why go every two years and four years for these referendums that are like represent that are purposely boiling things down to an obvious gated like I kind of set of data as opposed to just get good enough at regulating society and making things fair for people if that’s its directive hey Skynet make things Fair okay will do will go through phases where we like sky
I’m watching you don’t go Terminator on us haha I saw that movie too I understand the reference but seriously I’ll get you to work on time and and we’ll we’ll kind of like waves get us to work on time a few times before we’re willing to say all right just just pick the route just pick the roots and then after a while if everyone says just pick the route we’re not going to get any more upset about it picking everyone’s route and collectively ushering Us in two ways that get everyone home anymore than we get upset about the shape of this aluminum can I think big vending machines behind this soda you know like we don’t really wear at like how do you know whether or not this is a perfect cylinder like we just a bunch of shit after a while or just like okay I guess that’s how soda should be shaped I don’t know
I grew up on it and and yeah any hacking any kind of hacking stories will just be like see that’s why you need more security like North Koreans give you flu-like in your Nano virus protection like your kid got a cold because of North Korea guess we need to upgrade leg and anybody that’s a Luddite is just going to get sick and die sooner oh well
look I’m out late late late but I always I always finish these books I get a pit in my stomach and then I might just get to the part where you say this won’t happen for fifty years and that’s what he does at the end he’s like this could take 50 years or a hundred I’m like a piece
I just I just want people to find my One-Eyed Willy skeleton with a Minecraft laptop but cracking is this a boobie what did he want to try to close the laptop and a bowling ball falls on you for no reason I mean there’s no treasure
Pirates doing
let’s go into this cave okay but it’s all right but just for a little bit right I don’t raining and I’m getting me really you have a tendency to over develop things and I want to make sure as a pirate who’s been honored to work with you that you don’t go into a tailspin of he could have been in there
I’ll let you want me to speak in Spanish let’s get eaten today cuz it’s raining it’s raining in this sealed up behind us was to make sure the cement well that if you do just make sure there’s like I was kind of Omega protocol aware if the ship needs to go back out that there’s something that can trigger the ship leaving that your ceiling don’t seal us in
I will yeah yeah yeah
I knew we shouldn’t have gone to Seattle I promise you riches Beyond Your Wildest imaginings treasure isn’t it for you what we request is a bit of help setting a few moderate booby-traps does anyone else know you can’t fit weekend if more of you
just a lonely Spanish Pirates are you alright alright alright let’s talk more work does anyone know piano
did I have an idea for a booby trap
I’m not the best with instruments you know you taking piano okay I’m going to get 10 10 of our guys to dig a bottomless pit right or find one fuck it you know maybe we’ll get lucky this place is built next to a giant I didn’t stop actually you know what like what can I just one memo before we start all these booby-trapped projects can we make sure that can we make sure every day everyday no matter how much booby trap work we have to do we all meet back here and the galley of the ship and sit down in case we all died at the same time
that seems like very very Sound Advice 8 it’s just you know it all I know it’s a rare chance but if it happens boy can you imagine finding this shift and it’s like they all died around the table to find the piano music sheet music for scales and tell Tony to stop driving like a Maniac or I swear I’m going to stab them in both eyes until to the point where bone grows over his eye socket wedging the knives in octopus in the water
it was a good idea
and the cement is dry well shit I were sealed in okay that’s going to do you know I predict that that’s going to keep happening we know what we need to do we need to make a safety water slide that relieves right to the ship for anyone who runs too much trouble then he can just skirt around all of the tracks no matter whether they fail or succeed they ultimately just slide down a waterslide done already done a great God who put this guy in charge this guy doesn’t know what the fuck to do shit
he’s all over the shop Aquaman in the house what the fuck is going on I mean yeah anyways that was The Goonies yeah okay that was The Goonies
yeah I was in a commercial for The Goonies oh really what do you mean TV station and like back then like local channels did a lot more leg work than they currently do relative to like the top down advertising stuff so he cut the local ad for like the TV showing of The Goonies and his genius idea was like having his kids get sucked into the televisions to get set where they’re going through all these Goonies scenes that their green screen into what what the fuck
why are you freaking out where is it it took me that whole Suite of watching it it took me that long to realize you were doing The Goonies we’re not know that this was what you cared about I understand that that was a long for you to walk off of know what we were talking about The Goonies
I didn’t know that I don’t think that matters to people on television green screen in front of where is it I don’t know it doesn’t like yeah so I don’t know look for it while we’re doing this I don’t know what to search for can you call somebody who patented to the comedy I could text my dad let’s see what he said
are you fucking kidding me do you have the beard guy had the beard
just to warn you if you try to text your dad there’s no signal up here in a lot of people will think you texted your dad 2 weeks in a row and I’ll be really disappointed to hear that the messages didn’t actually go out
I can’t believe this
can’t you why are you surprised I don’t understand why
what are you talking about why does it why no because I was a kid sitting on a couch and my dad took maybe 12 seconds of footage and then he cut an ad out of it like I wasn’t like I was at home I don’t know what’s cool about it you have to explain what’s cool about Wizards ever laugh at Tim and Eric stuff like sure screen Zapped Into The Goonies and also with you and you’re probably you probably don’t have a beard right and there’s a probably a lot of funny elements about it it’s yeah the same way there’s a lot of thousand years that he was the guy in The Pit Bull commercial good because like Pitfall game and Commercial like isn’t well remember no not at all no no one cares about the Cooney I care about you
I want to see this commercial that’s what I wasn’t getting addicted Jeff cuz he gives he got high with him I didn’t know I didn’t know if Richard Superman created Superman Superman when I was
who wrote and created Superman Richard Donner
how many of you guys honestly like like up by Applause and you know I’m I’m predicting 8% some of you guys we’re on the cusp that are going to do that are going to get a fake this to make yourselves feel younger but so that’s margin of error 8% but applaud if you if you didn’t get the Goonies references back I guess it like four people okay I’m just I’m still happy I might I’ve never thought that that movie
clapping exaggeratedly
I didn’t get the eye to eye too often times I don’t hear the first half of what Rob said so I just I just catch up on the tail at the end I’m like what is happening but I am I would have been fine by the way if it was the whole audience I would have been a little regretful making you listen to 10 minutes of radio play about Goonies but but how are you sir can you read off those names on that tape Breitbart
like the supremacy
so in the future Jeff I thought you were in the future we’ll have Jeff tell you that were roping off seats for you that way you’ll know hickinbotham
all right give me a thank God you didn’t do that
that’s not his fault that that’s not his fault for Jason Bourne when you picture and then Higginbotham you picture like a Jug Band
take a note he ha act from from years ago
the chain alright that’s okay
he born yeah he can buy them
you always are aware of where the exits are and how to field strip any weapon yeah but I still can’t get my ex-wife to stop taking alimony
now I know you saw The Goonies but I also know I got a way with that cuz you’ve never seen Hee-Haw
I’ve barely seen him and I’m a test tube baby that’s how old I am
did you ever heard an invisible man get out shine your corn pone
they also would have a bit which where they would have liked them have this old man with glasses and a mustache in a window mining like he’s wiping the window but there was no glass and then you would hear off-camera hey Grandpa what’s for supper or no on the cob and rice and beans and we also got some green beans do
every single ever remember Roy Clark and and what’s his name they would sing that she was 8 sing the same song every time but then the runner was that they would they would each other’s faces and then they would like break and laugh there was a lot of the seventies culture was all about people breaking in laughing at what they were doing so like The Cannonball Run was like you can get away with a lot of
anniversary tonight let’s run upstairs and have sex and I told her I cannot do both
but I can be had
dear Hee Haw Junction to do like noises like a full new new wave like Gary Numan version of Henny Youngman like a guy that’s just like looks like a corpse and he’s got like like I I like big baggy eyes and like Eddie and just had like got hair but he’s already tells these like one-liners and then and it does like Gary Numan staying there
my wife came to me and told me that she doesn’t want to see me anymore I said I can trip up I can trip a one-liner I said what why don’t you poke your eyes out. I mean look I don’t care if what I want to see is compatible with the planet anymore I’m I’m very comfortable retiring from the earth just want to roll over and not seeing well I’m still getting used to the Twitter addiction like I’ve been off of Twitter for a month now and then
you give less like 40 characters
I still have like I feel like I kind of like residual like sense of loss like a phantom limb I mean lately like a decade is a long time to express yourself and the others in one specific medium like we are even my generation isn’t used to such stability like we really like things usually change faster than Twitter even did I still feel like I kind of like like like with the myth that the soldier who likes like my arm hurts and your arm got blown off its like you have you still have this sort of like electrical impulse that’s a sweet but you very much like that cuz I quit smoking I smoked from 18 to 32 so kind of a comprable addiction like level as far as like what to get over and it so if it is
smoking Then I then I guess like maybe a month from now it’ll parabolically get to the point where I’ll be like oh did I used to tweet and I like I could I forget that I was ever a smoker but like that first couple months is like god dammit what the fuck your whole neurology is based around this minute-to-minute like flowchart just like a whole section of your flow chart is taken out and get stuff because we’re we don’t we are none of us like we don’t we are right to not admit that it’s important to us like like like why would we why would we want to say that we know that it’s stupid and in so it’s that actually makes it harder same as with cigarettes cuz cigarettes and don’t don’t say that good for you like like they feel like a cowboy going like I’m supposed to do what I fucken want you know like the the messaging of cigarettes is like fuk fuk Society kill me
about the Great Rivers of his good luck killing me motherfuker can’t shoot a corpse
that really is kind of the messaging me a minute 40 seconds before you hoping will return is like the blogging instinct or something I got your soul I so miss my twenty-seven-year-old so if I miss my I miss that guy that kid that that was so trustful of the internet and so like so actually like appropriately self-loathing just enough that all he wanted was to actually just lay himself scatter himself against the rocks of the internet and say yeah you look at every fucking shity little piece of me and and choked on it like I I like that guy that I think that guy’s punk rock and in our school and I don’t know
that’s what 45 year old guys do they try to emulate 27 year olds and then they the result is a little messy
or sunroof with a big bald spot light coming out of it Twitter point of the neurology will that represent it represents like a cauterized like seeing that that will force a new neurology pattern that that that behind that is an Impulse to share and an Explorer and that it will be forced after a while I don’t want to force it that it will it will grow like a no-go I can’t I just want to fucking right like I won waiting to my therapist said like you have to create a new personality that doesn’t isn’t linked to your brand and your Fame and all these things because these things are those things are not like you’re you’re you’re nostalgic for an age before you were famous and it is that kid is shooting a slingshot at the moon and that’s freedom of expression that’s really like
that’s when your that’s when you’re hot and you’re interested in you saying things that like people want to listen to and then you like so if you if you have any hope you really what you really need to do you want to share your thoughts online what you what I need to do is like keep an actual diary like I did when I was 27 but it’s like the difficult thing is like I need to like become a different person I need to like just be some random person who had a 0 followers on Monday and you need to be a bother to do the thing as too scared to have jobs and stuff that’ll be very fulfilling and stuff but I’m talking about like the kind of like Driftwood part of this stuff that’s still part Joy
and part what I am good at like like like obviously like so focused and Rick and Morty right now and don’t want a drop of myself to risk like not going into that Barrel but the truth is that there’s a bunch of me that’s of no use to Rick and Morty and I would I would like to think that I’m still capable of like writing of going like this is the day I had this is how I feel about the world this is this is this is what I want to say to anyone who finds this after I’m dead I want to hear most of what song
but I would like to have it in paper form I would like to have it as a me to I want to go back to that that’s what I’m saying like I feel I feel like I remember when I was your age when Myspace happened and I remember walking with my friend Steven not lie who’s been on this podcast he literally the first person that that said the word blog to me that we were walking back from The Rustic Inn to my my place in Los Feliz and he was he was talking about technology and how excited he was and and he said like a log and he’s like just like this crazy thing is like those cultural revolution where people are keeping his online Diaries in there just sharing whatever like it’s like like they say there’s there’s there’s a guy that is an artist for Disney and he just says whatever the fuck he wants to say I think he works at Disney but it’s like it’s hard for us to understand that but back then it was like it was kind of like a loophole the internet was like sort of like in your way
Wildest Dreams anyone’s ever going to listen to this because it’s still wet Dan Rather thinks that’s important and we we exited that age so blindingly fast that we can’t even remember that it was like we went to the internet to actually put messages in bottles and we like wouldn’t it be hilarious if anybody ever found this and in and like that culture was so interesting I don’t know if we can never get it back but I I remember when Twitter started happening how unmistakable it was it was as clear as as as the difference between cocaine which I have snorted numerous times to 22 great end in like talking about improv for 6 hours with people the only other people who unco want to talk about improv or 6 hours
and then I remember getting that key bump of Crystal flag like like in a bathroom it was like it was like this burn and it was like what the fuck is wrong with your Coke and and that friend going that wasn’t Coke I was like yeah it was shiny like that was crystal meth as I was ground up and I was like why do I want to go home and leg like violate my sofa
like lately I don’t want to talk to anyone about it in front of us but I want to build a rocket I don’t know what I want I was just a different thing and it didn’t really matter if it was better or worse it was just a fact that it kind of made the other thing Obsolete and they’re like oh you don’t cuz it’s what he would say what’s going on and then you’d answer I don’t know and everyone was like tweet I don’t know what the fuck is this what’s this shit and it was like you just noticed those like how I’m not blocking any more why would I win there was this Rush lyke-wake who was I kidding about why I was blocking it and yet the irony is that the the discipline was more admirable
you could have been putting down things on paper and they could have could have been novels or at all of us off the hook it’s like we got to we got to accept the fact is that were motivated by by a lot more than craftsmanship we just simply it is really hard to tell somebody to keep a journal and put it under their bed every night there’s a couple people out here maybe around like what do you mean it’s the easiest thing in the world I love doing it you fucking won the neurological Lottery because there is this like the Insidious like weird like lobe of your brain that is goes back to when you’re a chimp I think that’s just like yeah but when you’re a kid and there’s no internet writing in a in a spiral notebook about how your day went I have five spiral notebooks filled with my dumbass sixteen-year-old thoughts because
there wasn’t enough internet back then for me to be that narcissistic in in in digital form and if there was Twitter when I was that age I wouldn’t have written these obnoxious I said I think it’s just like
it takes months and months maybe years and years before you and Rob could write a thing together or you alone the right I think the immediacy yeah I think it’s the ratio I think it is it’s like like like to take a little piece of what you just said if you get a job doing something like the like it’s like Dorothy Parker said like I hate writing I love having written but also like I like I can’t give you I can’t give you a first draft but I love closing the deal the right one quite like that that day that you run off of the Warner Brothers lot near like they fucking with the fuck Chuck and robots me to SpongeBob
oh my God the best movie ever and then like the den and you feel like you wake up the next day and you’re like a fucking dopamine rush off of selling that movie I’m not going to write it if you’re a Christian church or Junior barns or like I like all these hilarious Algonquin Round Table writers had Twitter they wouldn’t have written in Russian having said one little epigram and made everybody smoking freak out and then I can go to bed and do drugs forever sapiens book it doesn’t mention Twitter I don’t think once but it’s very hilarious throbbing off that book when it talks about like the it what I was talking about how we defeated neanderthals and Homo erectus because of our predilection for gossip it’s really uplifting and downtrodden to learn that
species is doing all the things that it’s currently doing that is some weird byproduct of sentience which is this like race from animal to God but that exactly what we’re doing right now is exactly the thing that we’ve always been good at and we treated the Neanderthals out of existence we are artists of our own tickets our ability to to to understand things Beyond a hundred people is how we beat all of the other forms of human his technical term for was the sapience developed like sentience and then subjectivity the ability to think abstractly and then when you can relate abstract ideas this guy Jeremy Johnson like like what he said about like how we should kick the Neanderthals ass like you we we are we are species was able to reach that Neanderthals
couldn’t do that they couldn’t go like hey you did you hear with I’m sad about it it’s a level like they probably I think we would have really gotten along with them can we do a scene where a Samantha, okay please give us some music queue
stand up from the corn I’m coming around
I think I could I suggest could I make a suggestion that the okay well I’ll do okay hey hello
hello what hello hi sorry I don’t throw a spirit me I’m balm are my species just moved into the field beyond the mammoth’s tree is that what you call it by the way I don’t even know anyways I brought a fruit cake which we we we we do it when we move in that we bring people fruitcakes hi are you neanderthal
is that racist
sorry I don’t tree yatri than it does a Ministry and now you’re the best yeah I brought you here here look what I brought you a cake I brought you a cake that’s a fruitcake hey look at this art will you look at this art did you do this did you make this this art instead of saying please right
thank you I like you I like you
do you like me
now why just because we’re neighbors we want to get along with like God forbid we don’t get along
yeah there’s a million kinds of fox there’s a million cans of beer you know what they say there could be a million guys are human we don’t want we don’t want all but one of us to go extinct that’s not a solution
I think we should get along
oh well okay

is that supposed to happen okay all right you’re wiping it just smelling it honey honey honey
I’ll go back I’m sorry I’ll go back to the hot rock is that your wife your mate your partner I don’t want to offend I don’t know what you guys do
that’s right that’s okay
okay is that is that a sign of is that does that mean welcome I don’t have high I’m Bomar I’m Bomar
is it makes us the same way we both have kids get the kids at Walmart
Okay well let now some of its getting it on me and
you know I just I’m going to stand on the outside of the cave and I can’t tell I’m sorry honey ceremony start in 5 minutes away it would happen if you guys have a ceremony high school work in the radio play okay
Ultraman than you ever were all right now come on. It’s not tone
cut to the chase was just okay okay okay that’s not that’s something that’s crossing a line okay can I explain that we don’t have
but my my house get out of okay I’m out I’m out of it but that’s not nice do you understand why I am looking at you and I’m giving you a stone the policeman, you didn’t hear that hear that that sound that’s the sound of 500 Cro-Magnon feet I’m going to explain something to you that
I can understand 30,000 years from now your best shot is being 1% in someone’s 23andMe
take that long as possible maybe get that to 2% I’m talking about don’t fucking point Spears it make your own okay he’ll know and don’t talk to your wife at Liberty too far now for a hundred million years
well this morning maybe I can come in here with your complete sentences and not jerking off and pooped I came here with a fruit cake and a fucking last chance alright Bomar got the boys outside alright use the special thing from the Nat Geo documentary that that are like they look like a incense holder at but there’s a matching him that throws a narrow farther than any Spirit can go and hide behind a rock
let him fly
you guys dad you extinct
boy it’s going to be a long Epic
there are a box and there are at box
sounds good. Looks like a
I don’t think Mel Brooks could have done that better
about how we got here I think that that that’s the that’s the weird thing I think that all of it we were humans so we were all way of cooking pans easier when you look at your pansies you’re like Jesus Christ these dudes are really close to like they’re so everybody that was human age here about Jim over there
well he’s like I think he I think he’s but I know I think it I think it I think you got a hundred you and Earth All Tribe and the one year did that goes up the other goes like hey did you hear about gym and if he has heard about Jim and he knows Jim he’s like got yeah totally got you and me but then what we invented was the idea of like pay did you hear about this guy Jim Cruz gym anyways he’s this guy from 30 miles away maybe you’ll meet him one day maybe you won’t but he’s like this right and so he’s looking at the snake in the snake like tries to bite him and he grabs at me fucking eats at Jim’s a hero pass the word along Jim’s the fucking best what I’m going to give you actually a piece of fabric that has the word Jay is lead on it and like it means Jim and like if we ever come around and we go like dude Jim needs to fucking muscle out the Neanderthals are giving us trouble like can we count on you guys
write my handshake my bond like will leave you in peace these Concepts the concept of of of of of it’s a shirts don’t overreact
a shirt fell off my lap
but it’s it’s it’s basically that is our ability to believe in things that aren’t that are not real weaponizing weaponizing abstract thought we would love to hang out at your house right now is that neanderthals would be like hey can you hang out tomorrow night and we would say no Neanderthal I have to work in the end result would go why I just asked if you want to hang out tomorrow night it’s going to be the Best Buy an Android file standard that we be like I know I can’t because even though I’m square right now with American Express like I if I don’t keep working I might get fired and if I do get fired I won’t be able to pay in the Neanderthals like
if you want to hang out tomorrow night like neanderthals basically Stiles in Teen Wolf every I take offense to that because it’s being in the moment I mean like we kind of invented being out of the moment it’s kind of sad that we invented we invented the but it’s also just as good two that were invented Peter Pan and things like that type of thing if you take abstract thought and like things that can distract you from a meditative state for instance right so like regrets what happened yesterday what I’m going to do tomorrow things that you want to happen to stream of Consciousness or whatever lot of monks in a lot of serious motherfukers dedicate 5070 years in a cave to get to that level even like get rid of that stream we barely even know what that type of a mind is capable of
we’re in the best able to do to hunt 200 hours certification I’m in the very least
I mean you know I got people I got I got eyes on every corner you overthrow go ahead please it is well it’s not but what these guys say
what these guys say is that these high-level motherfuker monks could do some heavy-duty shit like everywhere from levitation to being able to teleport to being able to commune with deities or call things to happen to healing wounds that are another Mystic Traditions like JC laying down the Miracles and ship which all happened to be classic yoga Master Miracles just saying to abstract on being able to weaponize that I think Harare overlooks the capabilities of like a fully whatever Neanderthal or yoga or whatever meditative mind we have no way of knowing if you want if you want to get down to the nitty-gritty of it what I’m scared of it might take away from it was there was Major competition or reason that the species like one after each other and I think you know it
you know what are you doing I’m scared of is like I’m scared that we’re going to meet an alien planet and that the alien planet is going to it’s just going to have like crap monsters that are like they’re like kind of like 90 IQ crab people you’re basically Antiques Roadshow if you are when we’re ready to rock and I don’t know why I took a shot at I just picked at random. Poop people to take a shot at it was the randomest I have no opinion about you if you watch Antiques Roadshow
I went so lateral and I’m so gun-shy about like picking fights with anybody that I just like
of the Blind Melon girl dresses of Bumblebee
I just like I don’t know when it Weird Al and this bad
show viewers what did they do to deserve this today anyways like we love crab stuffing really we live crabs have to like we’re down like how about you send some crab people are Planet like will shut down to Red Lobster’s during your visit to avoid awkwardness and you will probably have Monkey restaurant that you need to shut down but like we’ll send some Emissary to your planet I’m worried that our emissaries basically what I’m learning from the sapiens book is that the thing that will happen I’m not I’m not I’m not really worried about this happening I’m I’m expressing a concern about our species is that where the kind of species that if that happened and we went to their plan everything would be kosher until we got the to their planet and they were like so anyways here’s some flowers the flowers all these flowers are nice in the flowers like Jim fuck with me motherfuker
flower just talk and talk shit and a crab sometimes the flowers talk shit I know crabs live among the flowers are like okay well who pollinates the same have you met the bees and we don’t really judge there’s they have brains they’re super smart and I’m like and we’re just like we will without even realizing will be like dude like like we’re going to Fiji I was like I couldn’t just fucking relax the guy had his way we can peel these these people that live in fucking like just the live in like what I called garbage and have what I call unreasonable Smiles on their face and have been trained by a hotel like they’re thinking like all I can do is fucking drink their mystical route and like like I think I’m gay
good guy by trying to stir up shit I’m like seriously though it’s fucked up of the army runs your Island like like I’m like a gossip it’s like it’s like I can’t take it easy but like like maybe shit that doesn’t seem I just I fear that homo sapiens is that like it’s weird now I realize it’s weird having read that book that we are that’s it there’s grizzly bears and brown bears and black bears and there’s always think that it’s like we’re just the only human and that we’ve actually worked that into our history that we teach ourselves and he meant we go like you up there can be only one know it yeah if you’re a serial killer but there can be only one and that we would react poorly to an Intergalactic community that we that they would meet us at a party if people have been volkans or anybody came around there would you like to do these people can’t handle spiders talking to them because they they they are they haven’t built into them they
leave that every planet has to have a fucking Kirk on it that like tells the planet what to do and they they believe that because they’re basically like Dexter they were born in Blood and they believe that you have to kill in order to live and they’re like genocide on meeting I asked it to the point where they’re Picasso’s don’t know that their genocide all Maniacs like people that believe in not genocide or genocide on me to ask they just believe in like this pyramid structure that we we’re unique in the universe in that regard because the The Leverage that we used on some other planet there’s like a grasshopper species it’s like ya jump really high jump so high that eventually become sentient like lately they just became like this really like amazing high jumping dominant species that was like so fast I all that the kind of like either arguably in charge of the planet but then their operating and kind of car
cooperation with like a tree that grabs you if you move too fast and eat you with a trunk and we’re going to show up and go come on what’s the fucken episode here who do I chill and they’re going to be Buffalo Bill and the strange world or meet anyone from another planet I’m worried that that’s what we are but that’s the disease we have that we actually don’t even know we’re suffering from a cuz we have no one to talk to about it let me throw you a Counterpoint that’s who we were before we got to look a globalized like structure of society that we kind of everybody only hope
and what
the amp and be the end of Dexter sucks I was I was like tell me more and then it was like how does Dexter end he gets away with it
baby secretly to
Lumberjack and now and now we can wait how is that a bad ending for Dexter you keep killing people
higginbottom but I expected more from you
where are you born I don’t know there’s only one way to find out if that was him
clearly they should have done this right I mean what was the year eating cake answered
play Death Row something nothing like actually
but we don’t answer all right well I want hand don’t do that job on the other hand you know how that feels see to hear fucking Humanity while you’re just treading water
becomes a superhero at the end of it at the end but you know what a camera
like I’m not saying you’re wrong I stopped watching after episode 6 cuz as with lost I know when I’m being dicked around
I know I know what I’m watching in private when I’m watching I don’t like Siri Siri lies your show you got a year. You better make the most of that fucking season you better blow my fucking Gen-X mind at the end of that season because I got his Millennials come in and catch me shit at my shity little Studio like that that should just die anyway so who cares but like like like like like Netflix were the writers to be like so the show I want to do is Groundhog Day meet Groundhog Day and but here’s the thing
but so it is a first season no Groundhog Day nothing it’s just a guy shaving and then you keep shaving every episode 2 through 14 like his beard cheap like it’s like there’s something wrong with my beard and the end of that season it’s like oh shit saucer comes down outer space it’s Groundhog Day planet now seasons 2 through 7 on my way to what in the fucking entitlements and I can’t quit you with your serialization I got a guy unbelievable you already rejected my pitch this is just me because I don’t really like every episode except hate watching mindhunter I got to the end of mindhunter like rate like the last couple episodes I started getting mine docked in mindhunter
he handsome I don’t mind Hunter he’s just a little bit abrasive don’t mind Hunter Hunter speak German right where my point is if you’re going to if you’re going to see realize your television please like really understand that the reason you see realising his for a reason it’s like Minecraft tiles lake lake can you can you make this work as like a tile pattern likely because that’s a certain amount of bits or you going to make it react as if when you place like it is 16-bit video game when your text Ray does your texture when it when it’s placed next to another texture okay does it have to change in order for it to tile properly it shit like that lately like Rick and Morty is a silly guy would like to think it’s like a like every tile is like you could come in anywhere I always said that I also thought that about community
like it’s like my model is crack rocks every Rock gets you high every Rock makes you want to smoke crack
in order in order of the crack you want to go back
podcasting plays that out make it you make a podcast and then people are like Jesus Christ now I got to go back two hundred episodes of this shit so David Cummings the Canadian horror host of the no-sleep podcast Levy Levy told me that he’s agent reached out and he wants to come on the show I cuz I think I said
Play If I cracked my right what I said was cuz I was like oh I want to talk about this like my new passion is this guy who sounds like Scott X Adidas warehouse thing and then I believe what I said and if I didn’t I’ll say it now is if your if this is going to get back to you cuz I’m so tired of me talking about shit that I love and then people like Lenny breaking the rabbits neck hugs like like like like like I don’t want to have that effect I don’t like that when people are like Ron Jeremy you know you said you don’t hold of fact
I’m not betting that if you’re out there and you you ready to run Jeremy about the banana thing don’t you it’s not your fault either it’s just who we are we’re a fucking horrible species in the Neanderthals would do it, but I think what I said was David Cummings please enter to symbolize the fact that I mean you no harm and sin talking about how I love how funny it is that there is a out fly you out for his class and you what if you want to be on the show and it’s called the no-sleep podcast if you just type in no sleep you’ll get a different podcast Ally has two episodes and it’s about like Chicago, or something there’s a podcast called the no-sleep podcast it’s it’s like and it’s at least 11 season it’s been going on forever
if you go back from the beginning it’s amazing this guy David Cummings he sounds like Scott Thompson and he’s just as the sun goes down on the other thing it’s a Scary Stories podcast and then he does he just it’s just people narrating scary stories but it’s so Canadian it’s really funny that I needed a cold world it is sincere but that’s not to say that that you didn’t enjoy it well that’s not to say that the podcast doesn’t laugh. You think I’d like it I think you would yes I guess what I just found it I just found it through another podcast called the creepy it just called creepy John grills who’s in Minnesota who mistook him for Canadian but he emailed me cuz I became a picture
subscriber and then I wrote a saying and I had that whatever his endless plugging of the no-sleep podcast
I don’t think you would like it to me
I think I don’t know
was that not what you were asking for I can’t hear what you’re saying yeah there’s a problem in this stage
I wrote it I I I wish that my
you’re like more of a snow sleep guy to me alright
I wish that there was enough of a signal up here that I could we got to get you a Verizon phone for the stage I have this guy does this Creepypasta podcast creepy heat like I told you if you’re patreon subscriber of the top level one of the luxuries the tears is you can send him a script and he’ll read it like as if it’s a creepypasta and I I sent a thing called yeah it’s it’s derived from the term copypasta which is an aberration of the phrase copy plus paste implying when you copy and paste a section of text using a Computing device
I was hoping now it hit me right in the eye
it did not jump through a thing I’m plugging him so he will
urban legends in the world stories are truly happened. He’s maintained traffic to pictures of violence and if
listener discretion is advised this is my custom one
I don’t believe that you got like five other people on stage
you’re asking yourself questions and answering them and then now you’re going to play a podcast while we sit here and eat to death
while we sit here in age to death
that is a I mean look I’m not going to be I’m not going to defend myself against those I guess the answer is yes I was playing his kids podcast along with that clip is it 5 minutes long is it
play hold your breath underwater for 5 minutes asked me if we come on that’s the metric your breath underwater for any time with you ever in your life like we could get like two and a half minutes ago or 20 minutes you know how that goes
it’s not because they do anything wrong it just never works nothing ever works you know it works holding a fucking thing just hold the thing it always works it never fucking failed
doesn’t work that great still 5 minutes as spider webs grow on my face and if I can tumbleweeds blow through the stage everything I should be doing right now goes through my brain name what I’m saying you should be doing
your phone to the microphone why is the microphone microphone bigger than your phone it makes no sense
hey Google Play subscribe to the podcast so you can watch Rob break himself up right I love that I hate you I was a moment where we learned that Rob them he has them as a hard of a time dealing with him as we do
like he doesn’t like it any more than us
these were all just trying to deal with it you’re not even giving me a chance
describe the five guys were damaged to play another podcast
it really does it works better than most other ever done
grown man to sit and wait on these fucking people
where is it that says like the bow
is more about somebody like 5 feet away waiting for him to finish 5 minutes he says it’s five minutes which is 8 minutes
sitting here holding our breath
waiting for death to come my God you would have been so fine with that you would have been
you would have been okay with doing that to us
joy your definition of craftsmanship is is like I is the next thing I need to understand what are you you are a born. I don’t care I created you both with the same as lead covert training program I held both of your head’s under water until you knew karate
this looks like a job for texter created by a Richard
you don’t know who you are do you come with me I hope you don’t Wrap Me In plastic and the weird self-loathing Showtime audience in a new suit ohbo levels of nihilism really but maybe words were too we can’t we can’t abide HBO but like we’re not threatened by weeds
or maybe we just get both like that’s half the audience and I just give me everything what is it what do you want everything you give me everything give me the Animal Planet I don’t give a fuk
so you don’t want to know who you are I’m please Dexter tell me I was going to show you I don’t know tell me go back to Christmas 1977
waiting for Santa Claus to come down the chimney I always loved my
oh he’s a bullet holes forming in your ass
remind me to text your why did that happen cuz I’m Dexter
okay are you leaving he’s leaving now I’m in the past what Emmy award-winning goes to
wizard wizard wizard with an honorary mention to a phone being played into the microphone which
you know I could run you through a plant that while he plays it and we sometimes do a segment that does stuff that we do stuff in definitely too late too far into US never playing DD anymore okay that’s good to know on the rails or anything I just need to know it’s not about me being bad and I don’t do
expressions are bad for me
make another human feel better about themselves use your powers for good for once in your fucking life
can bleach help with anyone I know it can get dirt off a counter but as dirt I’m just asking have you ever been anyone cuz I’m parked food jerk I’ll explain the metaphor in the alley when you’re driving me home
Chris Young
okay whatever Rob SOB
take it easy
Frederic Remington
Jeff Davis giving up here
are Mary Jane Harman
it’s a little less than four truck driver all you know I love you


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